Hello!

I know, I know, it's been a while. For everyone who asked "what happened to May?" this is for you.

Hope you enjoy and apologies for any mistakes :)

How do you say goodbye?

Peter didn't want to ask.

There was a lot to process since waking up from his coma; putting his hand in the gauntlet and being the one who snapped, that Tony Stark thought of him as a son, the little sister he suddenly had and the long recovery he had for his basically useless arm (for the time being Strange assured him).

Peter didn't need to ask, not really, because everyone was avoiding the question, including himself. There was only one reason why May Parker wasn't at the lake house with him, helping him recover, holding him in her arms and whispering against his curls how proud she was but also how incredibly mad she was and how he was going to be grounded until your 50.

Peter didn't think he was ready for that confirmation. So, Peter ignored it as best he could.

Instead he focused on being a good big brother to Morgan. He watched the Disney shows she liked on repeat, joined her tea parties and crawled into her tent that was situated by a tree that looked over the lake. He ate the broccoli she not-so-subtle pushed onto his plate at dinner when she thought Tony and Pepper weren't watching and joined in for the bedtime stories, she insisted he be a part of at her bedtime.

He focused on healing. He ate regularly and a lot to keep up with his metabolism so that his healing factor could continue to heal his arm and he slept regularly (though he didn't have much of a choice because he was still exhausted). He hadn't done anything Spider-Man related (and that was the hardest part. He loved being Spider-Man) and tried not to crawl around in his sleep but there was only so much he could do when his instincts kicked in when he slept much to Tony and Pepper's terror when they found his room empty and the mad dash to find him begun.

These things though didn't stop him from hearing the whispered conversations that happened in the house when they thought he couldn't hear.

"Have you told Peter yet?" Peter heard across the yard where he was playing with Morgan in her tent and while the Avengers stood around the barbeque, cooking up burgers for dinner.

A ritual had started whenever the heroes managed to band together at the lake house. If the weather was good, they would set up a large table in the front yard and would barbeque burgers for dinner and the salad that Bruce always brought with him (which was one of the tastiest and only salad that Peter would eat willingly). A playful fight would always break out on who had the better grilling skills that Rhodey usually won when he took over as everyone else squabbled.

"No," Tony sighed heavily over the hiss of the meat on the barbeque.

"You're going to have to tell him eventually," Steve said.

"Yeah, I know," Tony sighed again. "We will. When he's ready."

"You think he's not?" Bruce asked.

Peter held out his hand for Morgan, who stuck her tongue out in concentration as she tried to paint Peter's nails with nail polish she had snuck from Pepper's bathroom. It was a pinkish colour, one that Peter often saw Pepper wearing. He hoped it wasn't expensive.

"He hasn't mentioned her. Hasn't asked why she isn't here or when she's coming," Tony explained. "I think he knows but I don't think he's ready to admit it."

Peter focused on Morgan painting his nails until Rhodey appeared in the tent doorway and called them out for dinner. He placed a hand on Peter's shoulder as they walked back to the group, squeezing him firmly while lightly admiring his new coloured nails.

"I can do yours too!" Morgan beamed, hopping and jumping by her Uncle's side.

"Yeah? Think you can do some red and blue for me?"

"Yeah!"

(Pepper didn't have any blue, but she did have a nice purple that matched the large stain on his pants where Morgan knocked over the bottle in her haste to get his nails done).

"Mummy? Why did dad call Peter, Parker?"

Peter froze on the couch.

Upstairs he could hear Tony in the shower, washing away the ice cream Morgan had managed to spill down the front of her father when her overzealous cheer for dessert got the best of her and Tony. Peter had laughed loudly and Tony had responded with "zip it, Parker, or no ice cream for you."

Pepper and Morgan were upstairs in her room, getting her ready for bed while Peter was supposed to be picking a movie for them to watch ( "anything but Star Wars." "but dad!" "Anything that doesn't involve space, kiddo.").

"Well, that's because it was his parents last name," Pepper explained gently.

"But, you're his mum and dad," Morgan said, and Peter could picture the confused frown on her face.

"We weren't always his mum and dad," Pepper explained. "Before you were born, before Peter even met us, he lived with his parents, the Parker's. But, when Peter was your age, there was an accident and Peter went to live with his Aunt and Uncle."

"But Peter lives with us now," Morgan stated.

"He does. Just because Peter's last name isn't the same as ours, doesn't make him any less your brother or our son."

"What happened to his Aunt and Uncle?" Morgan asked.

Pepper was silent for a moment and Peter heard the shower switch off.

"They were in an accident too and so now Peter lives with us," Pepper said softly.

"Good," Morgan said. "I love Peter, lots and lots. I love him 3000."

"We love Peter too," Pepper said.

Peter didn't hear the rest, finding himself pushing open the door and leaping off the porch and striding across the front yard. As the cool night of the air hit his face, he realised that there were tears streaming down his face and he sucked in a breath that sounded a lot like a sob.

His feet kept walking until he reached the edge of the dock and couldn't go any further unless he wanted to fall into the lake. His legs gave out and he all but collapsed onto his butt. He swung his legs over the edge of the docks, feet dangling just above the water as he tried to even his breathes and banish the ache in his chest.

He stared at the blurry reflection of the moon on the lake through the tears that flowed down his cheeks. He wiped them away frequently, shoulder's shaking as he sobbed.

"They were in an accident so now Peter lives with us."

Morgan was a curious child and incredibly bright so it shouldn't have come as any surprise that she would eventually start asking questions about Peter and why he didn't share their last name. But Peter wasn't ready. He wasn't ready to admit to himself why he was living with the Starks on a permeant basis.

He hunched over, wiping his eyes desperately as heard the front door open and heard his name being called. He pressed his lips together in an attempt to suppress his sobs, but it only made him release an odd squeaking noise instead.

He heard Tony's feet hit the dock and his body practically folded in half in attempt to make himself look smaller.

"Pete? What happened to you choosing a movie?"

Peter felt Tony coming up behind him, gently laying a hand on his back. He felt the moment Tony realized he was crying, body crouching down beside him and his big palm running up and down his spine.

"Hey, Pete. What's going on?" Tony asked.

Peter hiccupped, squeezing his eyes shut tightly as his body shuddered with his supressed sobs.

"Did you really want to watch Star Wars that badly?" Tony attempted to lighten the mood.

It only made him cry harder, sobs gasping out of him as he could no longer keep them in.

"Whoa, okay! Come on, kid take it easy. You're okay," Tony's palm swept up and down Peter's back, knees hitting the deck as he pulled Peter into his arms.

Peter went willingly, pressing his face into Tony's chest, good hand curling tightly into the well-worn t-shirt as he cried so hard his body shook.

"Come on Peter, you have to breathe," Tony pleaded.

Pressing himself closer to Tony, Peter tried to calm down, but he couldn't.

May was gone. May was gone. May was gone.

"I've got you," Tony held him close. "Just breathe with me Pete, come on kiddo."

Unsure of how long they sat on the dock, Peter eventually ran out of tears, the sobs turning to hiccups, breathes coming out easier until they were matching Tony's.

"You with me, Bambino?" Tony asked, hand carding through Peter's curls.

"Yeah," Peter croaked out, keeping his face pressed against Tony's chest, refusing to release his good hand grip.

"That's good," Tony hummed, the relief evident in the kiss he pressed to the top of Peter's head. Felt the relief in his fingers that never stopped gently massaging his curls. Another kiss was pressed to his head and Tony's voice was soft. "You're freezing, Bambino. Think you could come inside?"

Peter nodded and let Tony get him to his feet. He burrowed into Tony's side as they headed back to the house, relying on his Spider-Sense and Tony's strong grip to keep him from tripping.

As they stepped into the house, the door shutting quietly behind them, Peter realised how cold he was. He shivered, nearly pushing Tony off his feet as he burrowed further into his father's side.

"Where did you boys get too?" Pepper asked as Tony half carried Peter into the living room. "I thought we were watching a movie?"

"Pep, love, pass us the blanket please," Tony said.

Peter heard the blanket being thrown and then it was wrapped around his shoulders and he was lowered onto the couch. Soft hands were gently brushing away the remaining tears that clung to his eyelashes before they started rubbing up and down his good arm. The blanket was gently tucked around his bad arm that was cradled against his chest in its usual sling.

"Peter, you're freezing," Pepper exclaimed.

"M'sorry," Peter mumbled.

"Pete, what happened?" Tony asked gently. "Is it a bad day?"

It's the worst day all over again, Peter thought miserably.

"Sweetheart?" Pepper's voice was soft and encouraging. "Come on, talk to us."

Peter sniffed, squeezing his eyes shut as his throat threatened to become consumed by the lump forming there. He hiccupped as he tried to speak.

"Breathe, kiddo," Tony coached.

Peter could feel the concerned looks Tony and Pepper were giving one another over the top of his head but he couldn't get the words out. Didn't want to make them real.

"Peter, honey, your starting to scare us," Pepper smoothed his hair back from his face. "Please talk to us."

"May's gone," Peter finally choked the words out.

The words were out there. They were real. May Parker was gone.

Peter was gently tucked into Pepper's side, head coming to rest on her collar bone as Tony pressed against his bad side, anchoring him as he pressed a kiss to his temple and catching the fresh tears the dribbled down his chin. They didn't say anything. They simply held Peter as he cried and let him pour out his grief that he had been keeping bottled up inside him.

Peter woke up not in his room.

The bed he lay on was much larger than his own and held the distinct smell of both Pepper and Tony blended into one comforting scent. He didn't remember getting there but judging how dry and scratchy his face felt he had exhausted himself crying and had been carried there. It made a small part of his heart bloom with warmth while the rest remained somewhere in the bottom of his stomach.

A strong scent of coffee and tea wafted into the room and Peter felt the bed shift as the body next to him sat up. Another weight added to the bed on his other side, the blankets gently lifted before settling down again.

"Thanks," Pepper hummed. "Did Happy get Morgan okay?"

"Yeah," Tony said. "Said he'd take her to the aquarium. I expect another stuffed toy will be joining the family by the end of the day."

"I wouldn't be surprised," Pepper chuckled. "Happy spoils her."

"Do I get one too?" Peter mumbled against the pillow his face was pressed into, voice rough.

"Sure thing, Bambino," Tony hummed. "I'll get Happy to get you a penguin."

"A real one?"

"No, not a real one," Tony huffed. "Where we would put it?"

"It could swim in the lake," Peter offered. "Gerald needs a friend."

"Gerald does not need a friend," Pepper said firmly, slender fingers working into Peter's messy curls.

Peter hummed at her touch, feeling his body starting to drift again.

"Don't fall asleep again," Pepper hummed. "You need to eat and wash your face."

"S'too late," Peter slurred, body lulled by the rhythmic, relaxing movements of her fingers against his scalp and he drifted back to sleep.

Peter somehow felt better and worse when he woke up again.

Tony and Pepper were still on either side of him and he wondered how long he had been out for.

"You really awake this time?" Tony asked.

Peter pried opened his eyes, cringing as his eyelashes stuck together and he blinked until the room came into focus. He hummed a note of confirmation that he was awake and smacked his lips together. The bed dipped as Tony left the bed and shuffled into their bathroom. The tap ran for a moment before it was switched off and Tony came back with a damp cloth in hand.

"Sit up," he said, sitting back on the bed.

Doing as asked, Peter managed to sit up. He sat still as Tony gently pressed the cool cloth against his face and Peter sighed as it offered some relief. His eyes were gently wiped before the soft cloth was swiped against his cheeks, nose, chin and then over his forehead before it was gone.

"Face me, sweetheart," Pepper said.

Peter turned his face and hummed quizzically as she smoothed cream over his face, the stinging immediately disappearing.

"Better?" Pepper smirked softly.

"Yeah," Peter nodded. "That feels awesome."

"Alright, time to eat something. I swear you stomach growling woke me up," Tony playfully huffed as he placed a tray in Peter's lap.

Realising how hungry he actually was, Peter devoured the plate of toast, eggs and bacon that he was offered. When the plate was empty, Tony took the tray and Peter was manoeuvred until he was tucked against both of them.

"Are you okay to talk about last night?" Pepper asked.

Peter nodded, looking down at his blackened fingers that peeked out of his sling. "M' sorry about that."

"Hey, you don't have anything to be sorry about," Tony said firmly.

"I – I knew she was gone," Peter whispered. "I just didn't want to admit it."

"I'm so sorry kiddo," Tony took Peter's good hand in his. "So sorry."

"What happened to her?" Peter asked, glancing up at Tony.

"When you were gone," Tony started carefully. "When we were able to, we went looking for her. Went to your apartment and then went to her work when she wasn't there. I'm so sorry kiddo. She was in an accident. Someone driving a car was dusted and the car went out of control and ended up hitting May's car."

"Did she – did she suffer?" Peter asked quietly.

"No," Pepper said, soft hands tucking a stray curl behind his ear. "No, she didn't suffer. The accident – she didn't feel a thing."

Peter nodded, not trusting himself to speak without breaking into sobs again. Tony and Pepper let him compose himself, Peter using their touches to anchor himself.

"Did you bury her?" Peter finally managed to ask.

"Right next to Ben," Tony said. "When you're ready we'll take you up to see her."

"I'd like that," Peter whispered.

They fell into silence again, each of them taking a moment to sort through their thoughts, to remember May and the amazing woman that she was. What it now meant that Peter had finally admitted to himself that he was never going to see her again.

"Thank you," Peter broke the comfortable silence. "For taking me in."

"You don't have to thank us," Tony squeezed his hand.

"I do," Peter insisted. "I love you, mum and dad. Love you 3000."

"We love you too," Pepper smiled, kissing his temple. "You'll always have us. No matter what. And the Avengers."

"And if, god forbid, anything did happen to us, which it won't," Tony stressed. "You will go into the safe, caring and very capable hands of Rhodey. Because he is the only sensible Avenger I trust my Spider-Baby with. Can't have you and Morgan becoming team Cap." Tony shuddered theatrically.

Peter snorted.

"I honestly think Rhodey would have to pry you both out of Happy's hands," Pepper laughed.

"Maybe we should do that next time they're round," Tony grinned. "A fight! Whoever wins gets the kids."

"Wow, trying to get rid of us already," Peter said deadpanned. He grinned though when Tony ruffled his hair.

"Nope. You're my kid now. You aren't going anywhere," Tony said seriously.

Pepper pressed another kiss to his temple. "and we wouldn't have it any other way."

Peter sighed happily, burrowing himself into their warmth. Though he missed May terribly and would every day, he didn't feel as though he was drowning because he had the Stark's to keep him afloat.

Happy reading :)