Just a Little Kid

Chapter 1: Sweet Treats

Roy blinked in surprise, eyes a little wide, as he watched Cindy Schneidman walk down the hallway with a bright pink teapot adorned in vari-colored polka dots. He distinctly remembered the military operation Havoc and Breda had carried out to ensure that that very teapot was disposed of. It had been quiet, discreet, the accident pinned on her cat, and in Roy's eyes the whole maneuver had gone perfectly. Four months ago the odious scent which wafted through the break room at all hours had been abolished, the workplace freed.

So why was it alive? He shook his head, he would have to plan another attack, again. The old secretary, a member of the civilian personnel, had probably just managed to buy another.

Roy turned around, his intentions of getting coffee before Edward Elric's arrival gone.

Sitting at his desk only ten minutes later, Roy could hear Fuery comment on a strange smell that he'd smelt in the break room. A second later the door was banging open and the sound of what Roy believed was Breda and Havoc rushing from the room to investigate was heard. He shook his head. They would learn soon enough of the tragedy.

He reached out for his coffee mug and raised it. It was empty. Blearily blinking into the empty depths, Roy pitied himself. He set the cup back down. A second later the door banged again, and the hollow sound of metal against metal could be heard. Fullmetal and his brother were here.

Roy looked mournfully at his empty mug once more.

Fullmetal burst into the room a moment later. Roy glimpsed Al's suit of armor through the open door for a moment, engaging in conversation with Fuery, and then Fullmetal was slamming the door shut.

Roy waited for the inevitable shout and insult. It didn't come.

The report was plopped onto his desk. Roy looked up.

There was a lollipop in the twelve year old's mouth.

Fullmetal pulled it out revealing a bright blue round hard candy at the end of the stick. The alchemist's tongue was stained a matching shade of blue. Fullmetal smiled.

"Report is done."

Roy looked down at the sloppy, disarranged mess which Fullmetal had called a report.

"I can see that."

Fullmetal shrugged, the lollipop going back in his mouth. He looked expectantly at Roy.

Roy shook his head, sighing as he opened up the report. There was something distinctly bright orange wiped on the corner of the first crumpled page. Roy thought about saying something, hesitated, his lack of coffee and the elder Elric's blessed silence causing him to reconsider any choice words he had in mind, and then waved a hand at him.

"Dismissed."

Fullmetal exited.

Roy stared hard at the paper, trying to read the illegible print. Something however was distracting him.

It was the lollipop, he could've swore it looked familiar. A couple minutes passed, all his efforts to read the "report" resulting in only the first line being partially understood.

It hit him. Cindy Schneidman had blue lollipops just like that which she kept in her office in an awful little vase.

A moment later and Roy had connected the dots. The little brat had resurrected the devil's teapot in exchange for a lollipop.

A war had been started.

Roy wasn't stalking per se, or following, or even "keeping an eye on" Fullmetal, they were just incidentally running into each other.

It seemed the pint sized alchemist had an entire scam running. Roy had already seen the kid helping out two other people in the office and both times Fullmetal had left with a candy in hand. So much for "Hero of the People", Fullmetal was a businessman and a conman.

For whatever reason it irritated Roy. Maybe it was the now unending herbal scents which stank of skunk from Cindy Schneidman's teapot, or the fact that Roy was a bit put off by the childish behavior. He forgot sometimes that Edward Elric was a child, and as such was occasionally motivated by the things normal children liked, such as candy.

He felt guilty, inexplicably, because it was far easier to forget Fullmetal's age when he acted like a little, explosive adult, ready to be manipulated and put to use through Roy's careful planning.

Roy valued his peace of mind, and decided that to ease a guilty conscience he would have to get Fullmetal to stop. On top of it, it made alchemical work seem mundane and brought too much attention to Fullmetal.

That afternoon he followed Fullmetal again, watching as the alchemist was walking the hallway.

Anya Jennings, a poor overworked errand girl for the infamously bad tempered colonel Dobrov, came into the hall and addressed Fullmetal. She held up half of a broken phone receiver and seemed to be asking Fullmetal something. He nodded his head and the two walked into the office area of the colonel.

Roy was curious and followed.

As he entered the office he saw the blue flash of alchemy work.

Fullmetal was on his knees, palms on the ground and his back to Roy.

"Oh! It is as good as new!" the woman cried.

Fullmetal stood up, picking the entire phone with him and handing it to her.

"Thank you so much Ed, what would I do without you!"

"It's no problem Ma'am."

Roy watched as Anya Jennings swept Fullmetal into a big hug and, in shock, he watched as Fullmetal hugged back, not just to be polite, but with all the eagerness of a little boy. Anya was a middle aged woman, with a slew of kids as far as Roy was aware, and very motherly.

Anya pulled back.

"Can I get you anything in return? I plan on making some applesauce bread and I can bring it over."

Fullmetal held his hands up and shook his head.

"Oh, no, I couldn't, I'm just glad the phone got fixed."

Roy watched Fullmetal awkwardly rub the back of his head, obviously embarrassed and slightly uncomfortable.

"Oh, afternoon Colonel, what brings you here?"

Fullmetal froze upon hearing Anya's greeting and then whipped around. His face became bright red as he saw Roy standing there.

"Just looking for my subordinate. Glad to see he's helping," Roy said with a smile.

"He's just a perfect little angel!" Anya cooed.

Roy tried not to grimace, and nodded his head in false agreement. He wouldn't quite put it that way. Devil more like.

"But I won't keep him."

Roy watched Anya pull Fullmetal into another tight hug and then release him. Fullmetal was still bright red, his head down, as he walked out of the room with Roy following.

They stopped outside and the door clicked shut. Roy stood there, looking at his youngest subordinate with a myriad of emotions. Fullmetal kept his head down, eyes looking off to the side.

"I-just- I used to help my mom out and-"

"You don't have to explain yourself Fullmetal, I understand" Roy interrupted.

Fullmetal looked shocked, mouth dropping open. He stammered out a 'thank you' and looked up at Roy in a way which made him feel uncomfortably responsible for a part of the boy's life he liked to pretend didn't exist: his childhood.

"You know, Fullmetal, if I'd known that all it took was a little bit of hard candy to get you to be quiet, I would've bought some a while ago. Though being so short you probably wouldn't be able to see it on my desk."

Fullmetal immediately flew into a rage and Roy smiled slightly as he walked back down the hall, ignoring the flailing movements of the boy and the ridiculous things he shouted. He couldn't let the brat think he actually cared about him, now could he?

A week later, sitting in his office, Roy figured it had all worked out in the end. Fuery, naive as always, had spoken with Mrs. Cindy Schneidman about her teapot and, surprise surprise, the peaceful means of resolving it worked and she stopped making her tea. He started hearing little compliments from the non-military and lower enlisted who Fullmetal helped out, and, if he got to see one more smile on a little boy's face, then in his book it had all worked out for the best.