inevitable, unconditional

Summary: Shinsou Hitoshi had always known that the odds were stacked against him, and that good things didn't last. He just wished that things would have been different as Aizawa-sensei and Yamada-san's foster child. His parents, however, were not planning on letting go anytime soon.

Mentions of non-sexual, parental spanking and past child abuse. Please skip if it isn't your cup of tea.

Hello guys! I hope that all of you are keeping safe and sane during these tough times.

This fic was actually my first attempt at writing (even before Heroic Pains), but it was not really a full story. Instead, it comprised of several disjointed scenes that I'd written on a whim, and I had cleaned those up before finally having the clarity and inspiration to finish it.

And if you still can't tell, I'm really weak for Erasermic + the best purple son.

Something to note: You might have noticed in the summary that the CP in this story was simply mentioned. It was more of a 'looking back' scene, as this fic is one that focuses on the aftermath of being spanked, in a universe where Hitoshi had undergone severe physical abuse as a foster kid. Spoiler alert: He doesn't handle it well. They eventually work things out, though.

I'm also thinking about posting my work on AO3, as I'm a lot more active (reading/commenting) on that site… But tbh I'm also terrified about being under the scrutiny of so many more people x_x FF just feels more… safe to me. I'll be sure to let you guys know if I decide to, though.

Enjoy!

Chapter One: inevitable

Falling short, Shinsou Hitoshi mused, seemed to be a recurring theme in his life.

He supposed that it was unavoidable; his time on earth was destined to be difficult since the day his quirk emerged. After being given up to foster care, he'd spent the next ten years being passed from house to house, never settling down for long. Hitoshi had already accepted that he just wasn't anyone's ideal child, and was a temporary tenant at best – although a hidden but significant part of him had always yearned for a place to call home.

His lifelong desires had materialised a few months ago, when he signed on the papers that deemed him as Aizawa Shouta and Yamada Hizashi's foster child. Past experience had taught him to not get attached, because he would only end up disappointing himself; but if he was to be honest, these lessons had been tossed out of the window since the months he'd met the both of them.

Eraserhead had been his favourite hero and role-model growing up, and Aizawa-sensei was the only adult that saw something in Hitoshi, who extended an offer to train him when he was about to give up his sole reason for living. He had met Yamada-san about a month into his tutelage under Sensei, the man's cheerful personality and genuine kindness a healing balm on Hitoshi's long-broken soul.

Both teachers had noticed his recurring injuries and fading scars, and instead of turning a blind eye, took quick action in getting him out of his previous placement and into their care.

Despite already knowing that they were great people, Hitoshi was still surprised that Aizawa-sensei and Yamada-san had ended up being wonderful parents. They'd insisted on the teen getting adequate rest, ensuring that he was eating enough and letting him know that he could come to them for help at any time. It took Hitoshi a while to get used to speaking up and engaging in conversations, but his teachers were patient and understanding.

He even had a younger sibling, a charming girl named Eri. Truth be told, it was wonderful to be able to interact with the other kid in the household, and his little sister was adorable and so sweet. The best part was that all three of them treated him as someone worth caring about.

Hitoshi never had people that cared about him.

However, even this ended up being similar to the few other highs in his life – temporary and fleeting. He thought that it was actually way worse, for it was in this household that he had experienced true happiness and safety.

Because Hitoshi had gone and fucked it all up in a single Friday afternoon.

He remembered standing in the living room with Sensei and Yamada-san, both teachers looking down at him with displeasure on their faces. He stared at his sock-covered feet, hunching his shoulders in an effort to look smaller.

"Shinsou."

Aizawa-sensei's stern voice made him jerk his head up, his violet eyes unwittingly meeting sharp coal. He gestured wildly at Hitoshi, asking, "Seriously, kid. What made you think that this was a good idea?"

This referring to his 'friendly' debate-turned-brawl in Musutafu Shopping District with Bakugou Katsuki after afternoon training. The both of them were unable to agree on, of all things, which store to go to first – leading to poor Kirishima Eijirou having to step in and do some damage control. By then, it was too late. While Hitoshi had miraculously avoided injury thanks to Sensei's hell training, the fight had unfortunately resulted in thousands of yen-worth in property damage. And not only were the two boys given a scalding lecture by an extremely peeved Tsukauchi Naomasa, he was also marched home by said Detective in question.

Hitoshi thought that the look on Aizawa-sensei's face when he had opened the door would be the source of future nightmares.

Thanks a lot, Bakugou. Not that Hitoshi was able to think about the other boy, his mind preoccupied with ways to manage his parents' anger. Although, he already knew that his teachers would not appreciate any attempts to downplay the situation; it was best to be truthful. He owed them that at least.

"I-I had a disagreement with Bakugou, and let my temper get the best of me. I sincerely apologise for all the trouble caused, Aizawa-sensei, Yamada-san." He said, dropping into a deep bow. "It wouldn't happen again." The boy hastily tacked on. The silence that followed was deafening.

He recalled feeling slightly relieved that Eri was not around to play witness to his shortcomings; his little sister being on a playdate with Mandalay and her nephew for the evening. Good. She deserved a better role model and playmate rather than a screw-up like him.

"You are right that it will not happen again, Shinsou." Yamada-san's frustration had brought Hitoshi back to the present. The teen had been living with the man for the past three months and not once had he heard him sound this angry. And both teachers were using his last name, which was something that neither of them had since the adoption, calling him Hitoshi or affectionate variants of his first name.

Hitoshi had really screwed up bad. He forced himself to continue listening, keeping the growing tendrils of dread hidden beneath the surface.

"-will be helping with chores over the weekend, and I want you to write me an essay about this incident, the poor decisions you had made and what you should have done instead. Four pages minimum. Are we clear?" He barked.

Hitoshi had readily agreed, cowed by Sensei's stern tone. At that moment, he thought that he would have done anything for his parents' forgiveness. However, Aizawa-sensei was not done.

"Hizashi and I have discussed, and we have decided that this offence warrants a greater consequence. I am also going to spank you, Hitoshi. We intend to make sure that you will never pull such a stupid stunt ever again. Come here."

Oh.

A spanking. Hitoshi had remembered that discussion.

Due to his… less than stellar childhood, his parents had encouraged him to sign up for therapy. Sensei and Yamada-san were of the thought that it would be beneficial for Hitoshi to have a safe space to talk about and work through his trauma. They had left the final decision up to him, but Hitoshi had agreed to give it a try; it was for his own good, after all. It had taken a few sessions before he felt truly comfortable, but he was assured that it was normal.

It was during this time that the teachers had brought up the topic of rules with him, which was also recommended by said therapist. Clear boundaries would help the child feel more self-assured, she had said. Hitoshi had been surprised when it was revealed that his parents were generally easy-going, being used to Aizawa-sensei's strict teaching style – but felt relieved, knowing that it wouldn't be difficult keeping himself in line.

Sensei and Yamada-san then lightly coaxed Hitoshi into the issue of punishments. Most of it were normal, such as being grounded and given extra chores – Not that Hitoshi had ever experienced anything this lenient. And then Yamada-san had dropped a bomb.

"Would you be alright if spankings are utilised at home, kiddo?" He had asked kindly.

Hitoshi knew that UA had been using corporal punishment as a form of correction since its conception, but did not see it becoming an issue despite his reservations – After all, he was never the type to sought out trouble. But this was different; it was an agreement between him and his two fathers for them to discipline him physically, should the need arise. And Hitoshi thought he was alright with it; after all, these two men just wanted the best for him.

(There was also the prideful part of him that did not want to appear weak.)

"There's no shame in saying no, kid. All of us have our limits, and they should be respected. Our greatest concern is that you will feel safe, regardless of what you decide on." Aizawa-sensei had said, placing a comforting hand on his head. His touch had felt so warm and safe; Hitoshi wanted to bask in it forever.

In the end, Hitoshi had insisted to his teachers that he was fine, and they had taken his word for it. It was just their hands smacking his ass, after all. And they had promised to spank him for serious offences only. Easy, right?

But what the teenager did not realise was that the real thing was so much more terrifying.

He remembered Sensei propelling him forward, before his uniform pants were unceremoniously taken down. He was then pulled over the man's lap, his torso and legs situated on the sofa. Sensei's thighs felt distressingly hard, and Hitoshi had to bite his lip to keep from whimpering.

His teacher had folded his shirt and blazer up his back, wrapping a strong arm around Hitoshi's waist to hold him in place. Yamada-san was observing from the armchair, scarily stern.

If Hitoshi was a well-adjusted kid, he thought that he might had felt embarrassed about being spanked over the knee like a five-year-old. Or even angry and disgruntled. In his case, all he could register at the moment was the vulnerability of the position, the prickle of eyes staring holes into his back, the rising anticipation and fear –

He remembered his heart palpitating in his chest, and fervent prayers that Aizawa-sensei would not notice. And then, things got a little… fuzzy.

Whether he'd blanked or simply blocked out the memories of the actual spanking, Hitoshi wasn't sure. All he could remember was the sheer terror he had felt in those moments, in the face of his parents' displeasure and the possibility that they could do more despite their promises. His upset was amplified by the loud smacks echoing throughout the living room, like a series of never-ending gunshots.

The growing ache on his bottom did not help matters; it served to remind him that he was completely under his teacher's mercy. Hitoshi thought that Sensei might have spoken to him, but he was too focused on staying silent. He did not want to make anyone angrier, after all.

The pain was becoming unbearable, and so was Hitoshi's distress. And just when he thought that he was about to crumble, his teacher stopped.

"I'm going to help you up now, 'Toshi." Sensei said gently. He had stiffened when the man took hold of his upper arm, but allowed himself to be guided into standing.

Hitoshi did not know what he'd looked like, but was certain that it was nothing good, judging from Sensei's deep exhale. And when the man extended a hand to get his attention, Hitoshi did not think and simply… reacted. His body's instincts had taken over, screaming at him to get back! and before he knew it, Hitoshi was already recoiling from Aizawa-sensei's touch, hands splayed in front of him.

"P-Please don't, Sensei," He had begged, voice a scant whisper. Hitoshi did not even realise that he had opened his mouth until the words came gushing out. He never wanted to be afraid of Aizawa-sensei, but things had never gone the way he longed for them to.

Hitoshi felt hot moisture trailing down his cheeks. Since when had he started crying? He discreetly swiped at his tears, not wanting to appear any weaker.

Aizawa-sensei had gone silent – But the boy was honestly too high-strung to care. Breathing seemed futile all of a sudden – It felt like he had just completed a ten-mile run, but instead of a lingering sense of satisfaction, all that was left were anxiousness and dread and being unable to breathe.

"Hitoshi? Hitoshi! Shit, 'Zashi, he's not breathing –"

"Heeey, little listener." Yamada-san had cut in, bending down to get a better look at Hitoshi. His smile helped slightly in putting Hitoshi at ease. "You're having a little trouble breathing right now; we need to get you settled down, sweetie. Can you try to follow my breathing?"

Hitoshi thought that he might have nodded, because the Voice Hero had brightened before guiding him through a series of breathing exercises. "That's it, 'Toshi-chan. You're doing so good, honey, I promise. Let's run through them one more time, yeah?"

He wasn't sure how much time had passed before the tightness in his chest loosened, almost crumpling onto the hardwood floor in exhaustion. It was only due to the months of conditioning that enabled Hitoshi to remain in position. The teenager blinked when a cup was nudged into his hands.

"Drink up, sweetheart. Some water will help."

He obeyed mechanically, taking slow sips under Yamada-san and Sensei's watchful eyes, both men standing a comfortable distance away. The blond was right – He could feel himself starting to calm down, his blind panic fading into wariness and exhaustion.

"Hitoshi." He flinched; eyes shut tightly. Please don't be angry. "What happened, kid?"

Hitoshi knew that he would not be able to lie; he had way too much respect for both adults to do that. But he couldn't bring himself to fess up – He had already broken the rules, what would Sensei and Yamada-san think and do if he'd admitted that he had a breakdown due to a kid's punishment?

Speaking of which, Hitoshi still had to pay his dues. He knew that the spanking was not complete; there was no way Aizawa-sensei would have let him off that lightly. The teen knew that he was not in any state to handle anymore chastisement, but it was always better to get it over and done with.

Time to deflect and then submit, he thought. It was learned behaviour by this point.

Of course, his parents did not let things go that easily – They insisted on understanding what had set him off, and to ensure that he was fine. He anxiously stumbled his way through an 'explanation' that revealed absolutely nothing, and he knew from Sensei's face that the man had caught on. Aizawa-sensei had remained silent though.

But both teachers were adamant about not disciplining him any further, Sensei even looking horrified that Hitoshi had brought it up. The boy could not believe that he was really getting off that easily.

"I-If there isn't anything else, may I p-please be excused?" Hitoshi stuttered during a lull in the conversation. He saw that Yamada-san was about to protest, before Sensei pointedly stared at his husband. "Sure, 'Toshi," He said evenly, "Are you certain that you will be fine?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then go to bed. Rest well. We'll see you in the morning, okay kid?" Sensei sounded so… caring. He always did when he spoke to Hitoshi, but this time the boy hung on to every word; knowing that he would miss his teacher's casual affection when it was finally gone.

"Yes, sensei. And um, I-I apologise again for all the trouble I've caused," He bowed deeply, "G-Good night." He thought he saw Yamada-san look accusingly at Sensei, but had fled to his room before taking a good look.

Hitoshi quickly changed out of his uniform before collapsing into bed, burrowing his face into his pillow. Finally, the tears that he'd tried (and somewhat failed) to suppress came back with a vengeance.

Hitoshi, you dumbass, he berated himself, silently crying. Good job, you've ruined everything.

He knew that there was no way things could ever go back to the way it had been. Aizawa-sensei and Yamada-san would never forgive such a screw-up, who could not even handle some well-deserved discipline.

And Hitoshi knew that he had no one to blame but himself. If he had been less of a coward and faced his punishment without theatrics, things would have been fine. Sensei would have hugged him, and Yamada-san would dry his tears and soothe him with kind words. The three of them might have even eaten on the worn couch, watching that horrible reality show that Yamada-san liked. Hitoshi sobbed as if his heart was irreparably broken.

Shinsou Hitoshi had always known that the odds were stacked against him, and that good things didn't last. He just wished that it could have been different, just this once.

Second (and final) part coming soon, I'm in the midst of drafting it out! Don't worry, our purple cabbage will get his happy ending; I am incapable of writing hurt without comfort, ahahaha.

Thank you so much for all your kind reviews and favourites; I truly appreciate all of you *hearts*