Date Revised: May 27, 2020

Chapter One

On a cloudless night in Sunagakure, a hawk flew overhead, swooping past barren desert and modest clay houses. The night was cool, and the wind warm. Its yellow eyes focused on a circular building with the kanji of 'wind' painted on its side. Amidst the rows of windows, only one room was lit with the dim glow from a lamp. The hawk soundlessly glided down towards the city, closer to the recipient of the message tied around its leg. (1)

Gaara, the soon-to-be Godaime Kazekage, lifted his head from his work as he felt the presence of the messenger hawk arrive on his window. It stared back at him with fierce eyes before surveying its surroundings.

The Kazekage office was sparsely furnished. There was a large bookshelf filled to the brim with books furthest from the window. A tall potted cactus stood on a corner next to a beige couch. In the middle of the room was a large table almost entirely covered with paperwork. An oil lamp rested precariously on its edge, casting shadows around the room with its flickering flame.

After confirming that it had the correct recipient, the hawk flew into the room, perching on the edge of the table. It was careful not to disturb the papers, and it preened at hearing Gaara's hum of approval. Proudly, it stood, showing off its plumage before extending a leg. Gaara deftly untied the message from the bird and read its contents.

I'm willing to listen to your request.

He let out a breath he didn't realise he had been holding. It was not a direct answer, but it would have to do.

Politics is a fickle thing, Gaara-sama, Ikanago, part of the Suna council, had said. An enemy today could be an ally tomorrow, as long as it can be beneficial to both parties. If you are to be Kazekage, you need to understand the importance of diplomacy and negotiation. Never show all your cards.

Sand swirled at his feet before reaching towards the small scrap of paper in his hands, consuming it completely.

The hawk's beady eyes watched the scene. Satisfied that the message had been received and disposed of, it flew out the window and off into the night.

After his fight with one Uzumaki Naruto, Gaara dared himself to hope. It was a foreign feeling – hope seemed too fragile, too pure for someone like him. And yet, hope he did. His whole life, he had lived for himself, to satisfy himself and the monster inside of him. But maybe it was not too late to change who he was. Maybe he could be someone who was loved by others.

Impossible, Shukaku whispered traitorously. You, who have killed countless lives, wishes to be loved? Being feared suits you far better.

But Naruto had done it, had he not? They were the same, and yet he was not shunned. He was not feared. He was loved. How did he do it?

The two of you were never the same, cackled Shukaku. You have been a killer since birth. Do not deny your true self! You love the smell of carnage and blood. You love the screams of the helpless…

"No," Gaara groaned, his sand swirling restlessly by his feet. "You're wrong..."

Lies! Shukaku roared, causing Gaara's headache to worsen. To kill is all you know. You think you can change? Only the weak rely on others!

But Naruto had beaten Shukaku, had he not? He clung to that thought as he pushed his bijuu back into the recesses of his mind. Naruto had become stronger because he wanted to protect others. Was that the key to be loved? To be strong?

No. If strength was the determining factor, then he should have been the most loved in all of Sunagakure. He had no doubt in his power.

But if it was not strength, then what was it?

Shukaku's taunts echoed in his mind. Perhaps he was right. There was no hope for someone like him. He had lived too long in the darkness. To shine as brightly as Uzumaki Naruto seemed impossible.

And yet, hope was a strange thing. It was not easily discouraged. It persisted, and Gaara found himself yearning.

What was it like? To be loved, to be cherished? Was he really so bad? Was there no hope for him? Why won't people love him? Why were they so cruel?

Even if it's just one person, please…

His sand crashed against each other like waves on the sea. He was not weak! He did not need others! He did not need anyone!

He felt something trickle down his cheeks. How long has it been since he last cried? Like a dam, emotions he had repressed came crashing past, and an ache persisted in his chest, almost too painful to bear.

I want to be loved.

Please, even if it's just one person…

I'm not a monster.

Please.

Please!

He howled, clutching his chest, tears running down his face. It was hard to think straight as emotions seemed to consume him. Anger, hurt, loneliness, it coalesced into such deep pain that he could barely breathe. Shukaku resurfaced, cackling as Gaara felt his control slip.

Yes, roared Shukaku. Kill those who denied you love! Kill those who hurt you! Spare no one!

Gaara screamed at the top of his lungs, clutching his head. His knees buckled at Shukaku's power and he dropped to the ground. His hands clutched at the sand swirling around him, and he realised that the beginnings of the transformation was starting.

I will help you, Shukaku coaxed. We will pass judgement! Only blood will atone for their sins!

"SHUT UP!" he roared as he tried to retain what little sanity he had left. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!" He squeezed his eyes shut and willed Shukaku away. His whole body shuddered at the effort and sand swirled and raged all around him. He forced his mind to clear, wrestling back his control from the bijuu, battling for his sanity.

Finally, after minutes that seemed like hours had past, he opened his eyes. His hand was turning back to normal. The tears had dried on his cheeks. Slowly, he stood up, determination flaring in his eyes at his small victory.

Naruto had beaten Shukaku, and so would he.

He would become a person worth loving.

Statues of past Kazekage stared down at the twelve council members of Sunagakure. They had already met several times in the past week, but the matter of the new Kazekage has yet to be resolved.

Kankuro, the forefront candidate for the position, had hidden himself away from the council and refused to come out of his room. 'Fuck off, old geezers' had been painted in black outside his door, a clear indication of where he stood on the matter.

And so, they were now forced to consider the jinchuuriki as an option.

Joseki broke the heavy silence. "There are more suitable candidates if we look outside the Kazekage clan." Murmurs followed the statement.

"Surely you're joking," Ikanago replied, raising his voice above the others. "The Kazekage clan has the strongest bloodline. They've produced top shinobi time and time again. The boy's no different. He's already killed several of our jounin and he isn't even thirteen!"

Joseki laughed scornfully. "The loyal lapdog of the Kazekage clan, everyone. Ikanago would rather we all die than give the title to another."

Ikanago's glare bordered on murderous. It was no secret he held the Kazekage and his clan in high regard. After all, Rasa had been his student, and his death hit him the hardest. But heart had no place in the council, and so he forced himself to calm down.

"Show me a stronger applicant and I'll reconsider," he challenged instead. "I'll see if he's suitable myself." He may be retired, but he was once the chief of ANBU.

"Why you-"

"There have been no reports of his…activities, ever since he has returned from Konoha," Ryusa said, trying to placate the two seniors. "Perhaps he's had a change of heart?"

Tojuro snorted. "That's like saying a lion can be tamed since it hasn't hunted for a week. It's just biding its time, Ryusa. Shukaku lost, and he won't take this lightly. Mark my words."

"Well, we have to make a choice," Yura said grimly. "And soon. Our village is in a precarious position. The longer we don't have a Kazekage, the weaker we'll look to others."

Rokuro clenched his fists. This was getting out of hand. "Listen to me, all of you. We can't control the jinchuuriki. He could ruin the entire village! Is it worth making him the Kazekage to save face?"

"I can teach Gaara-sama," Ikanago volunteered in earnest. "If it's political affairs you're worried about, Rokuro, I am more than capable to guide him."

Rokuro casted his eye upwards and silently prayed for patience. The old man was as obtuse as he was deaf. "Ikanago-sama, it's not a matter of who will teach him. The problem is can he be taught? Can he be controlled? Baki?"

Eleven pairs of eyes turned to look at the jounin who took the jinchuuriki under his wing.

"He can be…difficult to deal with," Baki admitted hesitantly. Gaara's violent rampages came to mind and he grimaced.

Rokuro's grin was triumphant. "You see? He's too polite to say it, but the boy is insane. He can't be controlled. And you want him to lead us, Ikanago-sama? Teaching him politics would be the least of our worries. Listen to reason, I beg you."

Sajo shook his head sadly as his eyes slid to Arisu. "Ah, but who wouldn't go insane after having Shukaku sealed in him?"

"What are you looking at, Sajo-san?" Arisu snapped.

Sajo shrugged. "I'm just saying, we're underestimating the boy. The fact he's lasted this long with Shukaku speaks of his mental fortitude."

Arisu snorted, unladylike. "If killing in cold blood every few days is what you call mental fortitude, then I'd call yours into question. Don't think for a moment that the village would take this matter sitting down. They won't agree to having a monster for a Kazekage."

"Come now, Arisu," Yumi said. "They wouldn't dare do anything to Gaara-sama. If anything, the village will direct their ire to us, but what difference would it make?" She sighed, forlorn. "They already hate us since we approved the decision to invade Konoha."

Arisu narrowed her eyes. "If you remember, I was against the idea from the very beginning-"

"We made choices we believed were right at the time," Goza said, raising his voice to put a stop to the bickering. "We're simply reaping what we've sown. Ebizo-jiisama, what's your final decision? Tell us and we'll follow."

Ebizo, who was listening half-heartedly to the debate, sighed heavily. Since when had Sunagakure become this weak?

"If we're reaping what we've sown, then we deserve to have the jinchuuriki as our Kazekage. Dismissed."

In an instant, the council was in an uproar.

Ebizo left the members to argue amongst themselves and headed for home, expression grim.

Whether he made the right choice or the wrong one…hell lay ahead of them. (2)

Baki found Gaara sitting atop one of the abandoned guard towers on the outskirts of the city, staring at the moon and the stars, eyes wide with wonder. It was rare for his student to be so pensive at this time of night. He was usually insatiable with bloodlust.

"I have arranged for new furniture to be delivered to your room tomorrow morning," he said. He knew better than to remind Gaara of the wreckage he caused earlier that afternoon. The tiniest thing could cause a trigger for his anger. And his anger was not pretty. "The Suna council wishes for you to see them now."

"I have no wish to be the Kazekage," Gaara replied bluntly, correctly guessing what the council will talk to him about. "Give it to someone else." Baki sighed.

"True, I don't think you're ready to be the Godaime Kazekage, either," he readily admitted. "But the decision was not mine to make." Gaara barked out a laugh.

"Do they wish the village to die in my hands that badly?" He directed his gaze at his teacher. Baki could never get used to his intense stares, but he had been subjected to them enough that he had learned not to flinch. It used to make him shudder, catching those eyes that looked at him like prey.

"We make the decisions based on what would benefit the village as a whole," he explained. "Even though they don't like you-"

"Oh, I don't doubt it," Gaara muttered under his breath.

"- the needs of the village trumps the wants of a few," Baki finished. Gaara seemed to mull over this statement.

"Tomorrow," he finally said, turning his eyes skyward. "I will meet with them tomorrow. But tonight, I want to look at the stars." Baki lowered his head in acquiesce, concealing his surprise.

"Of course."

The large, round table in the Suna council room had been replaced with a long, rectangular one. The twelve council members sat with backs straight.

"You may enter," Ebizo finally boomed. In a flurry of sand, the boy stood before him and the council, arms crossed. His unkempt auburn hair framed his pale, narrow face and covered the kanji of 'love' on his forehead. The edges of his eyes were dark from lack of sleep. The material of his clothes were thin from frequent use, and dark red splotches scarred his garments, a visible warning for those who drew near him.

"Kami, when was the last time you had a haircut, boy?" Ebizo said, frowning. "You look like you grew up in the wilderness." He turned to Arisu. "We cannot have the future Godaime Kazekage looking like this. Have someone come in later today to make this boy some proper clothes."

"I never said I wanted to be the Kazekage," the boy replied, levelling him with a stare. Ebizo chuckled and leaned forward in his chair, aware that the rest of the council were on the edges of their seats, ready at a moment's notice to dart towards the door. The sand in the boy's gourd rattled.

"You came here willingly, boy," Ebizo said. "You are not like your brother. He has no ambition, that fool. But you – you could be great."

"I am already great," the boy countered, challenging him. Ebizo hummed again, and it seemed to agitate the boy further. Sand had started to slither out of the gourd and onto the floor.

"Ah, perhaps," Ebizo said, eyes watching the boy's movements carefully. "But your greatness comes from the bijuu. Without it, you are powerless."

"I can still kill you without Shukaku's help," his voice was low, but filled with promise. Ebizo could feel the discomfort of his colleagues, but paid them no mind. Once they get to his age, one must be ready for death.

"Being the Godaime Kazekage will give you power Shukaku cannot," Ebizo continued, unruffled. "Respect, instead of fear. Loyalty, instead of resentment. Love, instead of hate." The boy stood perfectly still, but Ebizo knew that he was listening intently. He chose his next words carefully.

"If you are tired of being a monster, why not become the hero for a change?" the boy's head shot up and met his, eyes wide in surprise. Ebizo gave him a knowing smile.

Gaara looked out the window before turning back to his paperwork. If the Fourth Kazekage could see him now, he would be rolling in his grave. Being a Kazekage was not something he envisioned for the jinchuuriki he brought into this world, and yet here he was. He recalled again the message he received and took comfort that soon, help will arrive.

I'm willing to listen to your request.

For the past few months, he could feel his control slowly loosening, and it took longer for him to build defences against Shukaku each time. He felt tired from the mental battles he waged daily in his head. Shukaku was becoming more cunning, and slowly poisoned his thoughts without him realising.

The possibility of Shukaku resurfacing and taking control completely was increasing.

But he would not let that happen. He would rise above this challenge and prove his detractors wrong. He would not let them see his weakness. He would find a solution.

He must.

Blearily, he rubbed the sleep from his eyes and reached for his pen. Under the dim light of the lamp, he worked towards the future of Suna, with him at the helm.

Extra notes:

(1) Hawk messengers, at least in canon, carried a steel case on their back containing the scroll to be delivered. Due to the secretive nature of the reply, it was simply written on a small piece of paper and tied on its leg as inconspicuously as possible.

(2) This was taken from Hunter X Hunter quote by Kite during the Chimera Ant Arc. Originally, he said: Whether we win or lose, hell lies ahead of us.

OCs introduced:

Arisu ("the noble sort")

Yumi ("reason, cause")

Rokuro ("the sixth son")

The rest of the Suna council members exist in canon.

Author's Note:

First chapter is done! This is the longest chapter I have ever done because I'm used to writing one shots. Get used to the Suna council members, because you will be seeing them a lot. It's Sakura's POV next chapter, so please look forward to it!

I'm aware that Gaara announced his position as Kazekage on the joint Chuunin exam, but for the purposes of this fic, he hasn't (haha).

This is a rewrite of my other story, Fascination. It will be completely different, so as soon as I have overtaken the current plot, I'll be deleting it.