Falling Down

Chapter 24

His first stop on his return home was Black Pawn. Not by choice, but the car had been sent for him and instead of going home, they wanted him at the office for a debriefing of this unusual tour. He would have rather gone to the dentist than Black Pawn.

As he walked in, the receptionist was on the phone but pointed toward Paula Haas' office. He rapped lightly on the door, she jumped up. "Ah look who's back, our favorite author."

"Really Paula, I heard you tell ever author who's every walked thru that door that they're your favorite," dripping with sarcasm, then his voice went flat, "I thought I was going home and look where I ended up."

"Don't be cranky Rick, it will only take a few minutes for me to tell how incredible your book tour was, and what a winner your fiancee is."

"I know how wonderful she is...and I know the tour was great. So what do we need to talk about?"

"Well, I have some ideas." She pointed at the chair in front of desk.

XX

It was 2PM when he slipped into the precinct. He brought her coffee and a danish even though it was late in the day. She more than likely would not decline the offerings.

Stepping off the elevator he could see her desk was empty. Four steps later, "Hey Castle, where you been?"

"Kevin my man what's up?"

"We're just slaving away while you're living the dream."

"My dream sits at that desk," pointing, "Where is she?"

"Downstairs for couple minutes. What'd you bring us from the trip?"

He laughed, "What are you a five years old?"

"Hey man everybody needs presents."

"At your age, you can buy your own."

Espo huffed, "You know we do take care of her when you're gone."

The lightness disappeared instantly, "And I will never be able to thank you enough for that."

The two men where silenced by the serious tone of his words. It was Kevin who spoke first, "She's our boss and we're a team, it's what we do."

"I know that, just never forget how much I appreciate it." Quickly switching gears, "I'm going to sit this on her desk and hit the head."

As he walked away Espo called out, "We won't touch her coffee and whatever."

Shortly after he disappeared down the hall to the men's locker room, Beckett returned. When she passed the boys she spotted the coffee and bag on her desk. She skidded to a stop, "Is he here?"

"Who?" Espo offered with feigned ignorance.

"Castle Javi, Castle."

He turned to Ryan, "Have you seen Castle?" His partner looked from his paperwork, "Ugh, let me think..."

"OK you two do know I can make things hard for you?"

"Touchy touchy, what did we do? We're just sitting here working, minding our own business and suddenly you want to make our lives hard?"

"I'm going to sit down. But I'll get even..."

She had barely sat when Castle slid into his chair. "You look so good my lovely Detective."

Smiled and reached for his hand. Her eyes danced, "You brought me coffee and something sweet?"

"It's my job, to love and cherish for…whoa, whoa, slipping into some vows there?"

She had taken a swig of coffee, after swallowing she laughed, " This is so good...and you can offer up all the vows you want, the answer will always be yes."

"Man you did miss me?

"You have no idea." Then she stood.

"Are you leaving?"

"I need to talk to you…", moving toward the interrogation rooms, "Number three."

"OK."

He followed as she headed off. He thought to himself, they'd always worked in rooms one and two. He wasn't sure if he'd actually been in three. As she swung open the door he noticed the table was filled with boxes, as well as chairs. She closed the door behind them and then pushed him into the corner, behind the door and the wall with the observation window.

"Beckett, why..." He did not get chance to finish, she fell against him, kissing his neck and holding him tightly against her. She said nothing, simply held on.

"Kate…," But her lips covered his.

She pulled away, but only slightly, "Hush Castle, just let me hold on to you."

He said nothing. Just let her arms snake around him and enjoy the warmth of her against him. Finally he whisper, "I missed you...a lot."

After a couple of minutes she stood up straight, "I need to get back to work...but I will be at your place in three hours and fourteen minutes...I will not be leaving for at least," she looked at her watch, "Fifteen hours."

He smiled, "I'll plan on dinner at six."

She grabbed the door knob but did not open the door, "We need to have a serious discussion about anymore of these...you going away for year and leaving me trips."

"A year? I was gone a couple of weeks and you were with me, less than a week ago?"

"Don't try to confuse me with the facts...just don't go away again." She turned and walked out the door.

XX

After the trip, a stop at the publishers and then a quick stop at the 12th, he was finally home. It always feels so nice to return home. He wasn't gone that long, but home for him was the both the loft, and her. She was here a lot and now she felt a part of this refuge he slipped into after a simple turn of his key.

He tossed his suitcase and carry-on down and walked slowly back to the living area and settled into his favorite chair. He closed his eyes and let out a satisfied but fatigued sigh. He had a few a minutes to rest, to relax before diving into dinner.

He couldn't help but compare his old self, with the new. The old had endless energy. The new, not so much. The old was always pumped by the tours, but this time he had a different perspective. There was a deeper sense of satisfaction, Kate with him, and what had ensued was so much more.

But there were downsides to medications. It made him tired, but disrupted his sleep. They also screwed with this internal thermostat, he teasingly called it male menopause. Although he made fun of it, it wasn't funny. He would wake up hot, throwing off his blankets, then twenty minutes later he would be cold. At times he'd wake up Kate, and she would worry over him. He did not want to interrupt her nights. The girl was high strung anyway and he knew she could struggle getting back to sleep. He tried to be slower in his reaction to the temperature changes. He'd push his feet out, and then slowly push aside the covers. Often after laying uncovered for awhile his body would finally return to its normal temperature allowing him to fall back to sleep. He accepted it as part of the process of fighting this enemy. As he'd watch her sleep, he reminded himself, it was all for her. He wanted to grant her as much happiness as he could. He loved her being happy. She was worth any war with a medication.

But there was another side. He had read how people with chronic illness also suffered emotionally in the battle. He'd heard people say, "No one lives forever," or, "No one gets out alive." But when death threatens you, with a thing that can kill you, those words are of no solace, they are the sophistry of the healthy. It was a frequent cloud that he had push away. He consciously had to turn his head, to not focus on what might be, but on what was, and what this day held for him.

It was time for him to get off the sofa and get dinner started. But he opted to rest. Just for minute.

When he awoke it was 4:15. He was late and would need to hustle.

XX

He had looked tired to her and she could not help but worry. He was jovial and to an outsider would have appeared normal. But there were tell tell signs. The smile was wide, but could not be sustained. His eyes sparkled for her, but were quickly overcome by weariness. She would make him relax, make him go to bed early. His well being was on her daily to do list.

She'd escaped at 5:01, no phone calls, her desk was cleared and she was out the door.

Javi looked up at Ryan as their boss exited telling them to have a good evening, "Who stole our boss?"

Ryan did not bother to look up, "Castle!"

As she entered the loft she could smell the bacon and see the pasta boiling. A neat stack of shredded basil sat next to a pile of freshly ground Parmesan cheese. The air was full with the smell both bacon and freshly baking bread.

She stood at the kitchen counter and watched him, "Hey, looks like spaghetti carbonara to me."

He looked up turned and smiled, "Ms. Styrofoam you are coming along….I'm proud you."

They both laughed.

XX

The call had come in mid-week. 1PP wanted to met with Beckett, to discuss the plans for the schools she would be speaking at and, they wanted Castle to come with her.

"This is just so cool!" The man-child was back.

"This is not a trip to Disneyland Castle."

"1PP is my Disneyland, it employees the hottest woman in the world."

"I am going to puke." Rolling her eyes in resignation.

"What do you mean? Which part of that makes you want to puke?"

"Both."

"Beckett, what is wrong with you?"

She sat down the cup of coffee, "Let me ask you something, do you enjoy the business meetings with Black Pawn? You know the one's when all the upper echelon corporate people are there?"

"No, I hate'em."

"Why? Why do you hate them?"

"Their idiot's who know little about writing… or how the creatively process cannot be scheduled. I can't write on a schedule, everything effects the story in my head."

She nodded, "1PP is that type of meeting for me. I don't want to go near that place, its a mine field of police work, politics, PR and a truck load of ego's added in. I'm a simple cop, the further I stay away from that place, the better."

He leaned back in his chair, she returned to her computer and keyboard.

As he considered her words, he pondered her reaction to the call uptown. His excitement was blend of selfishness and pride. Yeah, he liked that his books had helped this happen, that was for him, but he was also proud of her, happy when she was moved into the spotlight. He doubted that 1PP had any idea how smart, analytical or driven this detective was, but to them, she was simply badge number 41319.

"What are smiling for Castle?"

"Was I smiling?"

"Oh, what's that response for?" Without pausing, "It's me Castle, you've got that, cat-that-just-ate-the-bird look allover your face."

He said nothing for a few beats, then leaning forward a bit, he slid his hand and bumped hers, "I am just so proud of you."

He'd seen her in so many situations, nearly memorized her expressions, but here was a new one. Her eyes sparkled but her face sank as if suddenly burdened, he put his hand over hers, "Are you OK?"

In a near whisper, "Rick, you cannot do that here."

XX

Lyn Jackovich was a Californian, displaced by marriage to New York. She'd joined the NYPD nearly twenty years ago and had risen to the position of the Head of Public Relations for the Department under the Deputy Commissioner Public Information. It was known as the DCPI and was on the front line of media contact, often reporting and later explaining the details of a crime, investigation and the Departments planned actions.

Lyn worked mostly on the down low. Her job was to sow as much goodwill as possible, whenever possible. Be it a public relations story or an alternate story to how the PD worked. She organized PR events and worked to raise awareness of the many things the PD did in addition to regular police work.

On this Friday morning a police detective and man in an expensive suit sat before her. She had often heard and maybe even used the phrase, "pretty people," as if there was a secret place where groups of beautiful people collectively lived and acted out their lives. Well today two them sat before. She'd seen pictures of Detective Beckett. She was stunningly beautiful. The one some referred to as "her writer," was equally handsome, brilliant blue eyes, in contrast to the detectives emerald green.

"Detective Beckett, Mr. Castle, it's good to have you with us today." She when through her duties and explained her PR job for the department. They were here because of their book tour and the questions that led to the work of the NYPD. The story was interesting enough that it had come to the attention of all of New York via the various news stations. The NYPD did not want to let the opportunity for more of the same to slip away. The great news was the reported interest by students in Detective Beckett, her work and the broader questions about working for and understanding the role of the police. It was a welcome change.

"I...I'm on different ground with you two. Detective you are one of us, and my business and yours is with the Department, but then we have, him." she pointed a long index finger at Castle, "he a bit of an...outlier." Beckett tried to muffled her laugh.

"Was that funny?"

She smiled broadly, "Yes, I have called him a lot of names, outlier was not on the list….but it's been added."

Both women laughed, and the tension left the room.

"Mr. Castle we're not laughing at you."

"Captain Jackovich," now pointing at Kate, "She may be." With that all of them laughed.

"OK, first let me read you a note Mr. Castle, it's from my boss...well actually a bit higher up, 'Rick, thanks for your support of the NYPD and your willingness to volunteer in this endeavor. Bob.'" After a brief pause, "I take it you and the Mayor are close friends?"

"I...I see him around and we talk every once and awhile." Trying to be modest.

"Well it sounds like he's pleased with our plan."

Both Beckett and Castle sat up slightly, Beckett spoke, "Captain what plan is that?"

"We've round-tabled this and are looking for the best outcomes. We've set up four encounters, two at junior colleges and two at universities, at least for a start. Let me say this is not meant to interrupt your duties as a Detective, if a conflict arises, we will simply reschedule."

Before they arrived Beckett had been very nervous about the meeting. She wasn't sure 1PP would be interested in Castle, since he was not an employee. The invitation to include him came as a surprise. But she also feared his occasional craziness. She had warned him about the consequences of even being in the building, it was an ego driven place. But before she got two sentences out he took her hand, "Kate, I will do absolutely nothing to harm your position in the department. In fact my goal is to let you do all of the talking, beyond hello and good-bye." It of course did not work out that way.

Jackovich continued, "The plan is to set up speaking events in the larger lecture halls. We felt that both of you will draw difference audiences. The tie that binds is the Nikki Heat stories, and writing, then the real life crime work of Detective Beckett. Literary students will want to see you Mr. Castle and end up listening to Detective Beckett. Students interested in law enforcement maybe be pulled into your world of literature. A win win."

Neither Beckett or Castle weighed in.

Jackovich went on, "I've watched the new clips of you two on the book tour. It was interesting, not just the interactions with the crowd, the questions and but also the volley from literature to police work. It is not what we normally do here. Our presentations are straight-up police promotions. If neither of you will quote me, you did better in an hour than we do in months." She paused, "Mr. Castle was it Black Pawn's idea to have the Detective Beckett join you on the book tour?"

He laughed, "No it was not. In fact it was not even our idea. Kate...Detective Beckett had flown down to visit me. During a conversation with the bookstore owner I introduced her simply\e as Kate Beckett, he immediately asked if she was "the KB." It made me laugh, because I'd never thought of her as, "the KB," but simply Beckett or Kate. He was pretty excited and asked her to sit at the signing table with me. Someone in-line asked him who she was, and he simply said, it's KB. From there it took on its own life."

"That's interesting, in watching the news, it looked like that...but everything on TV now days is staged, thus my question." She paused, "Back to our idea, it's simply a repeat of what we saw on the news. We would like you two to visit, you Mr. Castle talk about books, and you Detective answer questions from interested students."

Beckett finally spoke, "Captain that was a very non-police type setting, I was trying to respond to the students and their questions, not really representing the NYPD….it feels different with our starting point being 1PP."

"I understand. Your responses were personal and I'm not suggesting anything different. Yes, your representing the NYPD, but you guys managed to dial it down to a conversation, which is a tremendous plus."

Castle interpreted, "I would agree with Detective Beckett, I have concerns on how to go about this. The last thing I want to do is harm the NYPD's reputation." He paused, "I assure you I'm not planning to say anything stupid. My point is I want only good for the Department and Detective Beckett."

It was Jackovich's chance to laugh, "Both of you expressed concerns about the Department, which actually alleviates my concern over the issue. I suggest we do these one at a time. See how it goes, and learn as we go. We at 1PP think this is a great, and unique opportunity."

On the drive back both were quiet. It was a lot to consider, and it wasn't a cozy bookstore, but a lecture hall, with people out of reach, an audience. The bookstores had been mere mingling, this would be different.

"I won't embarrass you or the Department Kate. I know I can be an ass."

"Castle I am not the least bit worried about you. I just trying to take in the whole thing. If you had told me such a meeting was going to take place at 1PP, I'd tell you that you were nuts...but it happened."

"It will be interesting." Squeezing her hand.

XX

It didn't take long before they both had keys to each others places. She liked the space and quiet of his loft. He liked the privacy of her flat.

She called him around two in the afternoon to see what was up. It took about five rings, which was long for him, before he answered. He sounded a bit groggy. "Castle, did I wake you?"

His voice was thick, he groaned, "I guess so. Didn't know I was tired."

"Well it sounds quiet on your end, where our your roommates?"

"Don't know..."

When he didn't finish the sentence, his breathing changed, "Castle, Castle did you fall back to sleep? Where's Martha and Alexis?"

Another clearing of his voice, "I told you, I don't know...not home."

"Castle, where are you?"

"Let me look...oh, I'm on your sofa...have I told you how much I like this place?"

"You're at my flat?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Why?"

"Because Kate," his voice now clear, "It's quiet, and it's all things you."

It was her turn to struggle with her voice, "Castle, I'm a cop, I catch bad people, sometimes I shot them...I can't be seen teary eyed at my desk." She coughed and cleared her voice, "You say stuff like that to play with me."

His voice was low but firm, "No Kate, I say that because this is the closest I can be to you when you're at work."

She was silent for minute, when she spoke her voice was thicker. "I gotta go."

"Wait!"

Another cough, "Yes."

"I love you Katherine Beckett."

It was nearly four hours later when she arrived at her place. She wasn't sure he was even there, but after their last conversation, she wasn't about to call. As she opened the door she started to call out his name, but saw the room was not lit. The light from the hall fell into the living room, she saw him asleep on the sofa.

She quietly closed the door and walked to the kitchen, sitting her keys on the table and coat on one of the chairs.

"Kate, is that you?"

She flipped on a light and smiled down at him, "Hey sleepy head, you're still here, and..."

He cut her off, "I am, didn't sleep well last night, you weren't with me."

She'd stepped closer, hands on her hips, "Castle is that my laundry?" Pointing at her coffee table which was covered with stacked clothes, towels and underwear. Behind him, her cotton tops and denim pants were on hangers hooked on the back of a couple of chairs. "Yeah, it needed to be done."

"I don't want you doing my dirty clothes, folding my...underwear."

He laughed as he stood, taking the three steps to pull her in for a hug, "Hey, if I tug them off of you, I can sure wash and fold them."

She groaned, "It just seems…wrong for you to be doing my dirty clothes."

"Don't be silly, some of my best memories involve your undergarments."

She groaned, "Now that sounds sick!"

AN: To all, I'm sorry for the long delay in this chapter. Life has gotten in the way of writing. I will be going off work to have my back repaired so I'll be out of commission for a bit. Once I'm up and running, I will be back to finish this story. Back soon, Madreag.