CHAPTER TWO

THE BULLSHIT PARADE

Okay, now that he thought about it maybe his question was dumb (or at least out of place), but his eye colour had always been a source of problems to him for a great portion of his short demigod life so he couldn't exactly help the fact that he was sensitive about it.

Blonde eyebrows furrowed in confusion, but before she could become coherent enough to form words, reality warped and then the world bent sideways.

The trio stood in the throne room.

Annabeth blinked out the spots in her vision from the sudden increase and decrease in light, Grover bleated in alarm and Percy…

… well he was currently on all fours whilst he spilled gastric juices all over the marble floor.

Annabeth grimaced at the sight.

The crouching half blood stood up shakily with a groan, "What the fuck is wrong with you people?"

Annabeth's brows shot up in slight surprise… she had never heard Percy cuss before.

A loud cough, the kind an entitled prick uses to call for attention Percy noted dryly, echoed throughout the throne room ('so that's where we were teleported too' Percy noted once more as his ADHD began to wreak havoc on his attention span once more).

Grover choked slightly on air and hastily bowed.

Apparently, they stood in the presence of the entire Olympian council who stared at them with unreadable face but with varying expressions in their eyes.

Annabeth took note and quickly followed the Satyrs example.

Percy wiped his mouth and spat on the floor, "What's the occasion?"

The daughter of Athena once more followed the ways of her Satyr buddy and choked on air as well.

The king of the gods raised a brow at the question and the smell of ozone filled the room making the Lord of the Seas shoot his brother a warning glance.

The smell of ozone receded.

"The occasion, Perseus Jackson, is that we have just concluded Second Titanomachia, coming out successful on top…"

The Goddess of Wisdom heaved a long suffering sigh, "What my father is trying to say Perseus, is that there has never been a time in recorded history where a Son of Poseidon did what our eyes just bared witness too. Defeating the Titan king, fully awakened at that, whilst using his weapon like one who has had years of experience with…"

Percy groaned again, "For fucks sake get the fucking point ya nerd"

Silence.

Grey eyes flashed with malice, but had the accompanying reaction was halted as the God of War burst into hysterics on his throne.

The Wisdom goddess growled at him

"Ha! I like your kid much better now Uncle!"

Poseidon grimaced at the comment.

Seeing things about to deteriorate in his throne room, the Lord of the Skies slammed his master bolt on his arm rest and silence ensued.

"ENOUGH!..."

Before he could proceed, reality shattered and tendrils of darkness bled into the centre of the throne room, twisting and writhing until they intertwined and coalesced into three solid entities standing in the centre of the room.

The Olympian council paled at the sudden appearance of the sisters of fate, their arrival hardly every foreshadowed good things… and the murderous glares on their ancient faces was a sign of bad things to follow.

"You blaspheme against Fate Interloper…" Atropos sidestepped as backbiter carved into the marble floor where she once stood.

The Lord of the Seas stood up as a look of horror overcame his features.

The Moirai snarled in unison, "FOOL! Fate is inevitable, you can run all you want interloper…" they were cut short as a vortex of golden dust sucked them in and just as quickly as it had appeared it dissipated.

A bone chilling silence descended upon the throne room.

Percy scowled at the spot where the sisters of fate once stood, this bullshit was starting to get more and more irritating and he was fed up with trying to keep his cool with the endless cycle of bullshit hitting him.

Nothing was making sense anymore, why did Kronos gun for him? Since when did the Titan lord become a player instead of a pawn? Why were Clotho, Atropos and Lachesis still alive? And why the absolute fuck did people think he was a son of Poseidon?

The silence in the throne room persisted and Percy took note of how everyone seemed to be frozen in place… well everyone except for Ares who had shrunk down from his throne and was making his way towards him.

The half blood opened his mouth to speak, but the war god beat him to the punch.

"Sup kid?'

Percy blinked.

"Uh, I'd hug you, but I've got a reputation to keep and all…"

The half blood sputtered, "Dad?!"

"Yeah it's me ya little runt. Look, I ain't got much time here, father time is still busy with the hags, but he won't be gone for long, I can tell you this much…"

All the questions died in his throat as the opportunity for closure presented itself.

"You've been a victim of some fucked up Primordial version of a switcheroo, I can't tell you the basics of whatever universe that you're on, you'll have to figure that part out yourself, but I can tell you that you can't go about tattling to anyone…"

Percy's mouth opened.

"Just don't…"

Percy's mouth closed.

"Here, you can have these…" he tossed him a Drakon leather pouch and he deftly caught it, "… use em' only in emergencies, they've got a bit of an extra kick than the usual one, so use them only when you've got no allies in a fifty metre radius. You'll have to fight those hags again…"

The half blood growled.

"… yeah, yeah suck it up and stop being a whiny bitch, my kids don't whine. Leave that to kids from the elder Olympians"

Percy managed a chuckle at that one making the God of War crack a grin.

Said war god paused before a look of panic appeared on his face, "Okay time's up! Expect a friend of yours to come crashing in very soon… and Percy…"

"… Yeah?"

"… Give em' hell you hear me?"

Percy gave him a two fingered salute.

Reality began to move once more.

He took a look at his reflection on the marble floors and had a few seconds to balk as a thought passed through his mind as reality corrected itself…

'Since when did I get green eyes?'

Ares was back on his seat and the Olympians were giving him incredulous looks making him huff in what could only be described as indignation.

"Da fuck you looking at Owl head?"

"Well forgive me for finding it surprising that you'd give your blessing to a demigod you despise so much"

The doors to the throne room swung open, and Thalia Grace limped in, supported by two huntresses "What'd I miss?"

Hera sneered and the King of the Gods bit the insides of his cheek.

"I believe…" Zeus began, "… that we were about to award our heroes for their efforts in the just concluded war battle"

Percy tuned him out.

He figured that he should feel honoured (in a weird self important kind of way) that some Primordial entity considered him interesting at least, valuable enough at average or enough of a threat at most to serve as a moving part of some abstract cosmic design… but frankly he wasn't exactly feeling the excitement of being a cosmic moving part.

Especially not now when the love of his life (not that he'd ever tell her that in person) stood at the feet of one of his least favourite goddesses… and with an all too familiar (and significant) circlet on her head.

Maybe the fact that she wasn't his girl anymore (at least not in this dimension) factored in the uncomfortable constricting sensation in his chest.

Faintly he heard the sound of thunder rumbling in the background… apparently someone had made an oath on the Styx.

Instinctively, he knew that he should have been paying attention to the proceedings of the meeting/reward session, but he was too exhausted to keep up with the bullshit parade and would've very much preferred to drink himself to sleep… and hope he didn't burst into tears at some point before he could pass out.

"Perseus…"

He snapped out of his revelry, "Sup"

The sea god gave him a small smile (it kinda freaked him out) before standing to address the council, "Would anyone say that my son is not worthy?"

There were no arguments.

Zeus grumbled something unpleasant under his breath before addressing the god of the seas, "I believe the choice is his brother…" he turned his attention back to the half blood, "… you may go ahead and ask Perseus"

He blinked at the King of the gods, "… Uhhh, okayyyyy?"

The sky god rolled his eyes impatiently, "If you wish, you could join us, you would be made immortal and become a god"

"… basically, you're offering me godhood?"

"Yes Perseus"

Percy rolled his eyes, the wording was a bit different, but it was basically the same thing they offered Thalia after their clash with the Moirai…

"Yeah no thanks…"

The smell of ozone returned full force, "YOU WOULD DARE...!"

"Uh, yes I dare, but last I checked it's my wish isn't it?"

"Peace brother…" Poseidon warned, before turning his attention back to the half blood, "… son, I know that it's your wish, but I'd ask that you reconsider…"

Percy huffed in irritation, "Okay it's obvious I'm getting under your immortal skins so I'll just get to the fucking point already…"

Several eyebrows were raised.

"… you're all immortals so I can't go about telling you all to pretend to care about the products of your one night stands, eternity is a pretty long time and last I checked that's enough to make anyone think differently than we mortals. I don't expect you guys to experience human emotions nor to react appropriately to we half bloods when we express these human emotions when we cry out for your attention. Heck, if it'll make any difference I'm using this opportunity to apologize on behalf of all half bloods that have discomforted you with said cries…"

The atmosphere became awkward as more than a few immortals shifted uncomfortably in their seats.

"Hey…" Apollo began weakly, but Percy was on a roll.

"But at the very least can you guys permit the minor gods to have cabins in Camp Half Blood, I'm not sure the Hermes cabin can handle any more strays besides it'll likely bolster morale…"

"What's that supposed to mean?" the goddess of wisdom asked hotly.

She was ignored.

"And please for the love of all things divine can you guys see to it that we have a proper armoury in the camp, you can't expect us to fight your enemies for you if you won't properly arm us to do the damn job while lowering the chances of us losing our own skin while we're at it"

He took a breath, "I know that quests are part of demigod life, but please and please, if it isn't to help out constructively then I'd like it if you guys kept your distance and quit causing us unnecessary emotional turmoil whilst we try to clean up our and your problems"

The goddess of love frowned.

"Treat your allies right, Hades is a dick and Hestia is spineless, but they're your allies. Heck they're your family treat them as such and lastly… I want Calypso free from Ogygia, I'm pretty sure she's learnt her lesson already"

Zeus scowled at the half blood, "That's a lot of wishes…"

Percy wasn't having it "I know, but I believe they're all minor in comparison to godhood. Besides…" he cracked his neck, "… I believe you guys promised me something and I hold you all to your words"

The god of the sky grit his teeth, "Very well, it will be done… Now let the celebrations begin"

…

…

…

Percy decided that the Olympians sure knew how to throw a party.

Normally, he wouldn't have had the patience to sit through an Olympian party but unlike last time he didn't have a special girl to sneak away and get all irresponsible with.

His face soured at the uncomfortable thought and he decided to try Olympian alcohol, maybe it would be enough to make him forget… at least for tonight.

.

.

.

Okay… Percy decided that trying Olympian alcohol might've been a bit of a lapse of judgment on his part… and he knew a lot about lapses in judgment.

Like that one time he thought that it'd be a good idea to get back at Thalia by getting it on with…

With an irritated growl, he gulped down the last dregs from his bottle and tossed the damn thing right over the balcony.

His eyes roved all over the writhing bodies of half bloods and immortals with no small amount of distaste, so many familiar yet unfamiliar faces.

Sure they all bore resemblance to his comrades back home, but they didn't share the same experiences that shaped their lives and bolstered their camaraderie.

He felt insulted at the caricature unfolding before him.

The scent of lemons filled his nose and his eyes met the familiar startling grey eyes of a certain daughter of Athena.

"Hey Annie…" he greeted in what he hoped was a casual tone.

She frowned at him slightly and he had a pestering thought that that wasn't the name she wanted him to address her, "I was looking for you seaweed brain" she muttered in what he could only interpret as… shyness.

'Well that's new…' he thought dryly.

Before he could respond, another scent filled his nose… the scent of ozone.

"You and I need to talk ASAP?"

Grey eyes narrowed in irritation, "Percy and I were in the middle of something Thalia"

Electric blue stared at stormy grey and the son of Ares/Poseidon felt himself grow uncomfortable at the stare off.

He was tempted to brush the daughter of wisdom off, but stopped himself as he remembered that the daughter of Zeus was not his in this dimension… and he wasn't sure he was ready to face her at that realization.

"Look Thals, Annie and I were about to…" he felt a fist crash into his solar plexus making him double over with a gasp as he felt his breath forcefully escape his lungs.

The sensation of lightning flowing through his body made him buckle as he felt his breath seize and his body jerk spasmodically.

He was caught by the daughter of Zeus whom proceeded to laugh (a little too loudly) and tease him (a little too loudly as well), "Looks like you're a light weight Kelp head, come on let's get you to a bed"

The nearby party goers shrugged at the proclamation and went straight back to festivities as Thalia hauled him out of the party.

Annabeth watched the entire play out in shock and was too stunned to do anything about it as it was over as soon as it started.

However, she soon realized that throughout the course of the just concluded fiasco, the daughter of Zeus' head was devoid the circlet that was supposed to be there.

…

…

…

"What the fuck…" the son of Ares found himself cut short as his lips were swallowed whole in what could be best described as the most needy, one sided kiss he had ever experienced in his life.

The kiss had a sense of urgency, anger and what felt like… relief?

He felt his back scrape the asphalt and he grunted as his breath left him (again) as Thalia straddled him and resumed her consumption of his lips.

Her tongue slipped into his mouth and he jolted slightly as he felt his own tongue pull upward harshly as she sucked it a bit too hard.

Her lips left his mouth and went to his tan neck and she began to mark his neck with a slew of hickies.

"What's gotten into you Thalia?" the newly christened hero of Olympus questioned, barely managing to stop the moan that would have left his lips.

That would've been embarrassing.

He got no verbal response and his shirt was torn from the scruff down as the daughter of Zeus began to grind against his groin making him bite his lower lip hard enough to warrant redness to prevent the pathetic whimper that would've escaped them.

The half blood attempted the push the frenzied demigoddess of his person, but saw stars instead as he was slapped… hard.

"You don't get to fucking disappear on me Jackson, you belong to me you son of a bitch!" Percy managed to blink enough stars out of his vision to see that said demigoddess was crying.

Blue eyes glowed ethereally as lightning flashed ahead and thunder cracked through the night sky.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!"

AN: This might be rushed… is it rushed? Looks rushed to me… anywho, drop your thoughts in the review section be they constructive criticism, destructive criticism, flames, character analysis or what not, I'll read them all… In regards to Life of an Assassin, well expect an update… sometime. Depends on whether I can finish up the *ahem* newstoryI'mwritingrightnow.

Okay? We good? Cool!

BYE!

ALTAIR25 OUT!