"Us of the great and noble houses have ruled within these walls for over a hundred years. A century's worth of time spent lavishly with the delusional subjugation of our kin under the pretext of a titan apocalypse. While the wheels of time continue to turn outside, we choose to remain here in the past. We dig our roots deeper and deeper as we idle by and rot in this decrepit carcass of a once glorious empire," I stated as I looked through the window and gazed at the towering walls of Sina.

My brother laughed at me. "When our sovereign is a coward, we cannot possibly hope to move forward. There is no future for us in these walls. Not when that bloodline still holds the power of the founding titan," he pointed out while sipping his wine.

I sat on the couch across from him and leaned back in comfort. "As one of the colossal cogs that turn and hold together this society, we have the capability to change that," I told him as I picked a knife on the table. "Isn't that why you've chosen to partake in this predicament, brother?"

He placed the half-empty wine glass on the table and looked at me in the eye. "You make it sound like I did this alone. You have allowed this matter to unfold while knowing fully what the repercussions are. Your complicity in the situation makes you an accomplice, Valeria," he stated with a smirk.

I sighed and raised my hands in defeat. "Must you be so crass with your choice of words, Lysander," I scoffed. "Surely you've included my demeanour on curious spectacles in your calculated devious schemes."

He chuckled, not denying that he added that variable in his equation. He crossed his legs and spoke more seriously, "Let's talk business."

I nodded in motion while my fingers twiddled with the knife.

"Once this incident gets reported to the Interior Police, the plan will be set in motion. The question is, what will you do?" Lysander asked with a stern and dangerous look in his eyes. "Are you finally going to uproot yourself and help me liberate this land from the shackles of our ancestors?"

I rolled my eyes and laughed. "Brother, surely you jest. How could I possibly be of any help to you?" I stated. "You know I'm not one for politics. I have never liked the dealings within the court. Putting up facades and playing mind games with those vermin have never been my strong suit."

His expression became darker. I sighed and reassured him, "Calm down. Right now, you hold my attention. That's not something to be taken lightly."

Lysander's eyes glistened in joy. Despite his dubious escapades as of late, he was still the same boy who wore his heart on his sleeve. I giggled.

"I may not have noble principles like you, but I can assure you that you will have my assistance within this matter," I gave him my word. "I have grown tired of this lacklustre complacency. In this ever-lasting monotony that those cravens trapped us in, I want a change of scenery—a breath of fresh air."

I stood up from my seat and walked over to the fresh corpse of our father. I clenched the knife on my hand tightly. My cold blue eyes stared long and hard at him. "I've always thought of father as a logical and reasonable man. An upstanding noble that fought valiantly for the betterment of the people. A gallant but callous man who stood apart from the rest of those jesters-of-a-noble in the court. He was a shining example of a true gentleman, my ideal type of man."

"But to my surprise when I found out that he was one of the leading supporters of this debauchery, I was utterly disappointed, even disgusted that I am related to such a fictitious man of a craven," I bitterly expressed as I stabbed his corpse with the knife. His blood splattered on my face and on my clothes. My brother silently watched me while I continued to butcher this disgusting carcass of a father.

"I don't like getting my hands dirty, Lysander. As you know, sloth is one of my greatest sin. I prefer being an observer and watch things unfold from the sidelines. I also like to indulge myself in the most amusing of things."

"You have piqued my interest. So, just this once, I will help you, my dearest brother. Although, I will do things under my own terms." I dropped the knife and covered my face more with my father's despicable blood. "Try not to disappoint me like our dear father, will you?"

Lysander started laughing maniacally. "Dearest Valeria. This is why they call you the Sleeping Red Viper of the court."

I chuckled at the title that the nobles in court had given me.

He took the glass of wine on the table and raised it up, "May the luck forever be in our favour." Lysander took a sip of it.

"May it forever be in our favour," I joined him as I closed my eyes and embraced the for the following events.

Let the theatrics begin.

Lysander dropped the glass and shattered it all over the lavish carpet floor. He started to make a commotion and summoned the guards to the room. In no time, they've arrived at the scene of the crime. They saw me covered in blood. They saw the bloody corpse of the duke. The murder weapon covered in blood was right beside him. It didn't take much of them to deduce what could've happened.

"Guards! Arrest my sister!" he exclaimed as he commanded them to do so. "She has gone completely mad! She killed the grand duke before my very eyes. Take this insufferable woman away from me! My heart can't bear to look at her."

Dhalis Zachary was in complete and utter disbelief of the red-haired woman that was casually lounging in his office. It wasn't that he couldn't believe that she, a noble, got away with murder—of the Grand Duke nonetheless. What he couldn't believe was that she commanded him to bring out sketches of notable and upstanding men under his jurisdiction.

He gritted his teeth while trying to hold his anger. These nobles always took them for a fool. He thought that people of the Grand Ducal House of Isengard would be different given their track record of holding some dignity to them. But after seeing her, the eldest daughter of house Isengard, he was completely disappointed and had fully lost hope for nobility.

"Dhalis, do you need to get new spectacles or are you perhaps turning blind?" Valeria asked while staring intensely at the sketches. He saw her eyebrows furrowed, seemingly disheartened at what she saw. She slapped the papers and pointed out, "These men do not look noteworthy to me. Just look at them! Do you get your soldiers from a slaughterhouse? Because these men look like sloppy wet pigs ready to get slain! Such atrocity to the eyes! Ugh. Hideous!"

What did this woman think she was going to see? They were the military. It was about having people with the right aptitude, skills, and dedication. If she wanted to look at portraits of handsome men, she should've gone to a marriage arrangement agency instead. The Premier heaved a sigh and massaged his nose bridge. "Princess Valeria. I assure you; these soldiers are the crème of the crop."

"Unbelievable!" she exclaimed as she slumped on the couch and threw the papers all over the floor. "I'll have to send a word to my brother and tell him to lower your budget for this year. I am utterly disappointed. It's infuriating."

"From what Regiment are these men again?" she asked while rubbing her temples.

He breathed, "The Military Police."

She took note of what he said. "Duly noted. I'll have this Regiment get a 30% cut on their budget. If these men don't lose weight by next month, I'll double their budget cut. They have to look like a prime steak by the next report. Understand? That's including you! Do you hear me, Dhalis? I'll double the cut if this doesn't happen."

Dhalis Zachary grunted. He prayed for someone to save him from this hell.

A knock on the door halted their misery. "Premier Zachary! I have come to deliver the remaining portraits," a soldier announced from behind the door.

"Come in," the premier said, sounding very exhausted.

Valeria immediately snatched the folders from the soldier's hands. "These portraits are from what Regiment?" she asked the soldier as she stared intently on the files.

The soldier was taken aback and looked at the Premier, who just signalled him to just get on with it. He clicked the tip of his heel and replied, "The Training Corps, the Garrison, and the Survey Corps in that order, Ma'am!"

"My word, soldier. Don't shout next to me. You're hurting my ears," she said as she rubbed her ears.

"My apologies!"

Valeria glanced at the nervously trembling soldier and sighed. She turned her attention to the new portraits she was given. Premier Zachary saw her lips turn in an upwards curve. "Dhalis! You've been holding back on me," she said in glee while her eyes were glued on the portraits.

The Premier sighed in relief. Finally, some hope.

"This is the previous Survey Corp Commander, Keith Shadis, huh? A very intimidating yet alluring man. Very interesting," she muttered to herself while getting engrossed with the portraits. She said with a satisfied look on her face while putting the Training Corps folder on the table, "I'll send the Training Corps 10% more budget plus two cargos of meat."

The Premier could only look at Valeria in amusement as she sorted out the budget of his men based on their appearances.

"What a spectacular man, Dot Pixis is! He's aged like fine wine and his men definitely look better than Niles. As expected of people who actually earned what they're paid! I'll give him an extra 20% budget plus a cargo of wine," she said with a grin on her face. When she was done looking at the portraits from the Garrison, she placed the folder on the table.

She flipped on the next folder containing the Survey Corp. Her eyes glistened as her mouth formed an O. "Erwin Smith! He gave my father such a headache when he stepped in as the new Commander of the Survey Corps. Such a stubborn and unyielding man. But I forgive him for being such a handsome and charismatic figure!"

Valeria flipped on the next portrait and her happiness just dropped to zero. "What is this? Is this some sort of a prank?"

Dhalis Zachary raised an eyebrow. "What seems to be a problem, Princess Valeria?"

She stood up from the couch and brought the portrait to the Premier's desk. "This!"

The Premier stared at the portrait sketch before him.

"This man looks like a scowling potato! Did you recruit this one from a supermarket? Who is this?!" she demanded to know. Valeria slammed her hands on the table and threw a tantrum at Dhalis.

He narrowed his eyes while trying to guess the identity of the man in the portrait. It was hard to tell since the drawing looked like an elongated circle with a grouchy face. But the more he stared at it, the more he could see its resemblance with a certain person. That hairstyle, that dead-eye look, that short stature… he unconsciously muttered the person's name, "L-Levi?"

Valeria gasped as she slammed her hand on the portrait. "What?! You can't possibly mean this potato is that illustrious one-man army?" she said in disbelief.

"There's no mistake. This is Corporal Levi," he told her while withholding his laughter.

She melted on the floor. "This is what humanity's strongest look like? A potato?" Valeria felt defeated. She buried her face in her hands and shook her head. "My fantasy is ruined! This! This is not worth the pain and suffering I'm about to go through! Oh, what a devastating tragedy!"

Valeria crumbled Levi's portrait and stood up from the floor. She rubbed her temples. "N-no matter! Commander Erwin's face will help relieve me from this terrible fate," she muttered to herself. "My silver lining within this horrible and turbulent storm!"

She tried to recompose herself and demanded to Premier Zachary, "I will have you send a message to Survey Corp Commander Erwin Smith. Tell him that the Grand Ducal House of Isengard will send their eldest daughter, Valeria Von Isengard, to their Regiment as per punishment of killing the Grand Duke."

The Premier looked at her as if she were insane. "You have the power to chose which branch of the military to go to, and you pick the Survey Corp? Princess Valeria, I may overstep my boundaries for saying this but, are you insane?" he exclaimed. He was fine with her dying early because she was highly annoying, but he just couldn't wrap around his mind at the absurdity of her actions.

"I've killed the Grand Duke. Of course, I am," she stated nonchalantly. "Anyway, whatever transpired in this room will remain in this room. I may be sent to the frontlines, but my brother has not taken away my title as the princess of the Grand Ducal house. I still hold authority above you. Therefore, you will obey my orders."

The Premier sighed. "As you command, princess." He just wanted this day to be over with.

Valeria slowly walked towards the door. "Oh, Dhalis. Before I forget," she turned around to face the Premier. She opened the crumbled portrait and showed it to him.

"Get this potato to train me personally," she told him before she left.

Premier Dhalis Zachary planted his face on the desk. He felt relieved that the delusional and absurd woman left his office. He could only hope and pray for Erwin and Levi's sanity when she transfers to their Regiment.

Author's note: This is my meme fic. I honestly don't know if I should continue but I found this idea to be pretty entertaining. I had fun writing it. I hope the person reading this had fun too.