A/N: This story started out as something completely different than what you are about to read. Usually, I like to fill in scenes I felt were missing from the show. That's what I intended to do here, but the story took on a life of it's own. I hope the metaphor I was trying to get at makes sense. I am still not entirely sure I got the point across, nor am I completely happy with the story has a whole. Also, I am sorry if the cheese factor is too much for some. It's almost too much for me. I have no beta, so all mistakes are mine.

Kate sat listening to her partner recount the supposed nine times he'd saved her life since becoming her shadow and briefly wondered how far into the list he would venture before remembering his mother and daughter were also at the table. She wasn't sure how much either of them knew about some of their brushes with death.

The first few were fairly straightforward, or as straightforward as a life saving act could be. There had been cases when he had saved her life more than once. Rescuing her from her burning apartment was only the beginning. He'd later shot the serial killer's gun from his hand. Castle claimed that he'd been aiming for his head. Although, at the time, Kate wasn't sure she believed that. She wasn't sure Castle was willing to take another life for the sake of saving hers, no matter who the person was.

After the serial killer, he tackled her away from a gun wielding money launderer and put a bullet in his leg. Then later, he threw dirt in the faces of criminals after buried treasure. He was the only one not armed in that standoff. In that moment, she wasn't sure if he was brave or stupid, but she still wasn't sure he was ready to kill to save her.

That certainty came when he tackled Lockwood to the floor of an abandoned warehouse and proceeded to beat him to a pulp. In that moment, Kate was sure, had she not spoken and stopped him, Castle would have killed the man who put her in the cross hairs. She couldn't allow herself to think about the events that followed that night, or the kiss that preceded it. Nor could she allow herself to think too long about the events that led her having dinner with her partner and his family. Thoughts like that were usually restricted to the privacy of her apartment or the confidentiality of her therapists office.

Thankfully, in that moment, a distraction arrived in the shape of Alexis. The redhead was filling Kate's plate with a little of everything on the table.

"Thanks Alexis, but I can do that." Kate said, taking the plate from the girl.

"I know you can," Alexis replied. "But Dad is always saying you never eat enough, so I thought I would take the liberty of loading you up."

At the mention of his name, Castle paused the tales of his life saving list. Thankfully, Alexis had spoken just as he was saving her from a "Mexican standoff with just a shovel full of dirt." However, the look in his eyes told her he wouldn't have gone any further even if Alexis hadn't interrupted his story.

He turned to face the two women and the look on Kate's face told him he was in trouble. "What did I do?" He asked with badly hidden trepidation in his voice.

"You told Alexis that I don't eat." Replied Kate, simply.

Castle straightened in his chair, ready to defend himself. "I never said you don't eat! I only said you don't eat often enough. When you do eat, you can really pack it away..." His voice trailed off under the glare Kate was giving him.

"I… I mean… I didn't mean you eat too much or..."

Kate's eyebrows moved further and further up her forehead with each muttered word. Eventually, Alexis took pity on him and clarified, "I don't think Dad meant anything by his comment, only that when you get involved in a case, sometimes you forget to eat and have to make up for it later."

Castle grinned and nodded in agreement with his daughter's words.

Kate just shook her head and laughed. "I can't argue with that. There are days when food is often the last thing on my mind. In fact, if it weren't for your dad," she paused to touch Castle's arm, "I probably wouldn't remember to eat at all."

Castle's shoulders relaxed and he grinned at her comment.

Her hand still on his arm, Kate continued, "That is probably why, when we do eat, he orders enough food for the entire precinct. And between you and me," she leaned toward Alexis, whispering, "I can easily out eat Ryan and Espo, but your dad gives me a run for my money most of the time."

"I heard that!" Castle cried in mock indignation.

The two girls laughed and Castle just smiled. He was obviously enjoying the moment unfolding between Kate and his daughter, even if it was at his expense.

Martha joined the table and dinner flowed easily from there. Castle didn't mention his "list of life saves" again and Kate was glad for it. She didn't know if the two redheads knew about Lockwood, or the dirty bomb. And she certainly hoped they didn't know about the hanger. As they ate through the feast on the table, it occurred to Kate that Castle's count was off. In reality, he had saved her life ten times, not nine. Flashes of brightest blue, both from Castle's eyes and the sky behind him, flitted across her mind. For a moment, she allowed herself to remember the whispered words that marked, what she considered the first chapter, the beginning, of their love story.

He didn't know he had really been the one to save her that day. He didn't know those words were the reason she was alive. He didn't know that she couldn't risk giving them a beginning that day in the hospital, not when she would have ruined their middle. He didn't know she was tearing down her walls so their story could have a middle. He didn't know she carried his words close to her damaged, walled off heart everyday. He didn't know she clung to them the whole time he was trapped in that bank. He didn't know that she felt them too.

She knew revealing her lie was going to hurt him. She knew her mother wouldn't want her to keep reliving the same chapter over and over again. She knew her mother would want her love story to have a middle. She knew her walls had come down with the walls of that bank. She knew she just needed to be brave enough to step beyond the rubble. She also knew if she continued on this thought path, she would lose control over her carefully schooled emotions. So, Kate pulled herself from her memories of that day and, instead, focused on her dinner companions and simply enjoyed herself.

After dinner, Kate and Castle found themselves side by side at the sink, surrounded by heaps of dishes. The pair had insisted on cleaning up after dinner, and neither redhead protested. Martha claimed exhaustion from the events of the day and promptly disappeared. Alexis, Castle knew, was upset about her break-up and he simply allowed her to slip upstairs to her room.

Kate was rinsing plates while Castle carefully loaded his dishwasher. He claimed to have a system, but as far as Kate could tell, the system was just to put the plate wherever it would fit. Eventually, only the hand washing of pots and pans was left. So, the pair changed positions and worked in complete sync without saying a word. Castle washed, Kate rinsed and dried.

"Thank you for coming tonight." He said, eventually, bumping her shoulder lightly with his own. "I know Mother really appreciated it and I think the distraction was good for Alexis."

"Thank you for inviting me. I enjoy spending time with them and it certainly beat going home to an empty apartment." She replied, bumping his shoulder back. "I also need to thank you for ending your list of saves when you did."

"No need to thank me. Mother and Alexis don't know how close we came during the case with the dirty bomb, other than the freezer, of course. And they certainly don't know about rescuing the boys, Lockwood, or" he added quietly, "the hanger."

She felt Castle glance at her from the corner of his eye and was relieved when he said no more. He simply went back to the pan he was scrubbing, giving her time to pull her thoughts back to the present. In those few moments, she made a decision. If she wanted their story to have a middle, she needed to end the beginning. She wanted a middle with Castle, her walls were down. It was bound to be painful, but she didn't want to put it off any longer. She had to tell him.

"How many times did you say you have saved me?" She asked, quietly. She turned her body slightly so she could see his face.

Puzzled, he replied, "Nine. Why? Did I name one that you don't think was a save? Cause I am willing to argue all my points."

Slowly, she shook her head.

"Well if you don't think my number is too high, then what is it?" He asked, with genuine confusion in his voice.

"Let's finish these and go sit. I need to be able to look at you." She said, the last part barely a whisper.

The two worked in a weighted silence for another ten minutes. While Kate dried the last dish, Castle refilled their wine glasses and handed hers back on their way to the couch. Castle sat near the middle and Kate folded herself into the corner, trying to make herself as small as possible. This move did not go unnoticed by Castle. She saw his eyebrows knit together and a frown cross his face. She couldn't blame him for being perplexed and maybe a little concerned. He saw her as this larger than life, extraordinary person. Rarely had he seen the broken, scared, scarred person she was about to reveal to him.

"Kate," he said, placing a hand on the arm she had wrapped around her leg, "whatever it is, just tell me."

She looked up to meet his eyes and took a generous drink of her wine, letting the tart liquid fortify her.

"It's not that your count was too high, Castle." She began, "it's that it was too low." With the end of her statement, she let her gaze drop to study the tops of her knees.

"I don't understand." Her eyes drifted back to his. He must have seen a glimmer of the truth there because he continued. "Are you talking about the day you were shot? Cause Kate, I didn't save you that day… Josh, and a whole team of surgeons did. Believe me, if I could have performed your surgery myself, I would have, but all I could do was pace."

"Castle," Kate began, her voice catching a little on his name, "Josh may have pulled the bullet from my chest and a team of surgeons may have kept my heart beating, but you are the one who saved my life that day."

"Kate… I don't..." Castle began, but Kate interrupted. She needed to get it all out before she lost her nerve.

"I heard you. I heard you beg me not to leave you. I heard you tell me you loved me. Your words tethered me to life; gave me something to live for. You saved me, you and your words. I held on to them every day through my recovery and every day since."

She couldn't look at him when she finished speaking. So, she dropped her gaze to study the fabric of her jeans. When he finally spoke, his voice was barely more than a whisper.

"If you remembered, why did you lie?"

She could hear the hurt in his voice, but she did not hear the anger beneath that she expected. She lifted her gaze to meet his and was surprised to find tears in his eyes. She reached out and took his hand in hers. He was the writer, the one with the words, but she hoped explaining what she wanted for their story would be enough.

"Everyone always talks about 'happily ever after' in fairy tales, but that isn't the end of the story, it's more like the end of the first chapter. My mom always hated that the movies never show what happens after the 'happily ever after.' They never show the middle and she always said the middle was the best part." He gave her hand a light squeeze and she took that to mean he understood, so she continued. "When I woke up, I knew immediately it was really you that saved me. I also knew that if I told you I heard what you said, that would be the end of our first chapter. If it had been a movie, the credits would have rolled. And while a moment like that would have been one hell of an end to the first chapter of our story, I would have ruined us before we got to the middle. I needed time to bring down my walls and be ready to return your words. I knew lying to you wasn't the right choice, but I couldn't risk losing you before we got a chance to have our middle."

His head jerked up at those words and he whispered, "You want us to have a middle?"

A small smile crossed her face as she nodded.

Tears were slipping down both their faces now, but Castle remained silent. She knew he could tell she had more to say.

"I put off the start of our middle that day in the hospital, but I decided tonight that I don't want to put it off anymore. Every day we don't end this first chapter is one less day we have for our middle. That explosion took down more walls than just the ones inside that bank, Rick. I understand if you need time. You waited for me and I am going to do the same. And, if you decide our story stops here, I will leave. It will break me, but I will walk away."

She let go of his hand and took another sip of her wine. Sinking back into the cushions, she wiped the tears from her cheeks and went back to studying the way her jeans stretched over her knees.

After several long minutes of silence, Kate unfolded herself from the corner of the couch and stood. She sat her wine glass on the kitchen counter, stealing a glance at Castle as she did so. He was staring at the spot she had just vacated with an expression she had never seen him wear before. She wasn't sure if it was sadness, anger, or hope. Maybe it was some combination of all three.

Kate moved to sit on one of the island stools. She wanted to give him space to think, but she wouldn't go home unless he asked her to. She didn't want him to mistake leaving for running. She was done running. From her vantage point, she could only see his profile. If there was a silent war waging behind his eyes, she had no way of knowing. She turned away from him to refill her wine glass and did not hear him behind her.

"I just need to know one thing, Kate." She jumped at the sound of his voice and turned to face him. "I know how our story starts. Nothing about the beginning has changed. I won't pretend not to be hurt by what you did, but I think I understand it. I want to know how we move on from our beginning to our middle? How does this first chapter end?"

"With me doing this." She replied, slowly pulling him down to her. The kiss was soft and short. When it ended, Kate rested her forehead against his. "And saying this… I love you too."