A/N: I just wanted to say a quick thank you to everyone who has commented on this fic so far, and those who have left kudos. I'm not the biggest fan of my own writing, but the story seems well received and has provided my muse inspiration, so I figured I'd keep going. Also wanted to say thank you to all the other Barson fanfic writers out there. I'm a little late to the fandom, but you all are the ones who inspired me to start writing Barson in the first place, so like I said, thank you.
My Spanish is limited-I took classes in school and have a basic understanding of the language, and can read it better than I can write or speak it, so I used google translate for a few things (my apologies if it's wrong).
Anyway, I hope you all enjoy the latest chapter (and if there's anything you'd like to see, let me know in the comments)
Walking up to his grandmother's grave, Rafael laid down the flowers he'd brought before he began to speak.
"Hola, Abuelita. I miss you," he began, taking a deep breath and letting it out before continuing. "I'm never going to be a judge…but I've realized that there's more to life than my career. I did some pretty stupid things over the last couple of years, but I feel like I'm in a really good place now. Lieutenant Benson…Olivia…she's a captain now. I'm proud of her. She forgave me for being an idiot and leaving her instead of telling her how I really felt. Ella es mi vida, mi alma gemela. She and her son both let me back into their lives…and he thinks of me as his father…Liv likes to say that they chose me. I gave her your ring, we're getting married. I'm back at the DA's office and with SVU. I start my new job tomorrow…helping junior ADAs. I hope you'd be proud of me. Te amo."
When he returned home, Rafael saw Noah was watching cartoons and playing with his newest Legos and Olivia was nowhere to be seen.
"Where's your Mom, mijo?" he asked, taking a seat on the couch behind his son.
"Shower. She said I could watch cartoons and play Legos, and then you'd help me with my spelling when you got home. But I want to finish this episode."
"How much longer?"
Noah shrugged; his attention mostly on the Legos in front of him.
"Noah? Is something wrong?" Rafael asked, noticing the way the boy was mostly just moving Legos around on the table.
"You left again," he said softly.
Reaching for the remote, Rafael paused the episode and then turned his attention back to his son.
"Come here, mijo."
Needing no further encouragement, Noah discarded his Legos and crawled into his father's lap. Wrapping his arms around the boy, Rafael pressed a kiss to the top of his head before he spoke.
"I wanted to visit my Abuelita before tomorrow. That's where I went. I bought her flowers and brought them to her. Well, to her grave."
"Do you miss her?"
"Yes. We were close. She died a few years ago."
"Why did need to go see her? Was it her birthday?"
Rafael chuckled, pressing another kiss to Noah's head.
"No, it wasn't her birthday. I haven't visited a lot lately, and I wanted to do it before I start my new job tomorrow. I'm…kind of nervous about it. She always made me feel better."
"Will my Abuelita and I be close like you and yours were?"
"I hope so."
"Do you feel better now?"
"Much. I'm sorry for not explaining to you where I was going. You were still asleep when I left and I didn't want to wake you."
Before Rafael or Noah could say anything else, they were interrupted by the sound of the latter's stomach rumbling.
"Your Mami didn't feed you?" Rafael asked with a laugh.
"She said we couldn't eat until Abuelita got here."
"Abuelita is coming over?"
Noah nodded. "She called and said something about these things called pastelitos. I think she wanted to drop them off, but Mom invited her to stay for brunch."
"You going to be okay here for a minute while I go talk to your mom?"
Noah nodded, giving his father a hug before sliding off of his lap and returning his attention back to the cartoons and Legos.
"Liv?" Rafael called, walking towards their bedroom.
"Rafa," Olivia replied with a smile, walking out of the room and greeting him with a soft kiss. "How was your visit?"
"How do you know where I went?"
"Rafa, I know you. You gave me your Abuelita's ring. You, Noah, and I are a family now. You reconnected with your mom. You're starting a new job tomorrow. Of course you'd go see your grandmother."
"Noah mentioned pastelitos."
Olivia laughed, leaning in for another kiss. "Your mom called, asked when a good time to drop them off would be. I asked her if she'd like to join us for brunch, since she was coming over anyway, and she accepted. I managed to hold our son's curiosity about said pastries off by offering cartoons and Legos."
"Our son," Rafael repeated softly, pressing a kiss to Olivia's temple. "I like the sound of that."
"Me, too," Olivia agreed. "Do you want to tell your mom about our engagement?"
"I had to ask her for the ring, so she pretty much already knows…but yes. If that's okay with you…"
"Of course. She called me mija the other night."
"I heard. She's liked you since the moment you met."
"Feeling's mutual."
"Did my mom say what time she'd be over?"
"Ten, I think. Is Noah getting hungry?"
"Yes."
"Why don't you cut some apple slices for him and I'll pry him away from the Legos?" Olivia suggested.
"Deal," Rafael replied, leaning over to brush his lips with hers once more.
A short while later, while Olivia, Rafael, and Noah watched another episode of the cartoon, they heard a knock at the door. Reluctantly leaving his fiancée and their son on the couch, Rafael stood to answer the door. Looking through the peephole, he saw his mother standing there.
"Buenos días, Mami," Rafael greeted, bending to press a kiss to her cheek.
"Buenos días, mijo," Lucia replied with a smile, following him into the apartment.
"Abuelita!" Noah's excited shout interrupted anything else the adults were going to say.
Handing her bag to her son, Lucia knelt down to accept her grandson's hug.
"Buenos días, nieto. Are you ready for your first pastelito?"
"Yes. Did you bring the books?"
"Books?" Rafael asked.
"Noah wanted to know if your mom had any children's books in Spanish that he could have," Olivia explained as she joined the trio. "Buenos días, Lucia."
Standing, Lucia pulled Olivia into a hug. "Buenos días, mija. How has my son been treating you?"
Rafael rolled his eyes, eliciting a laugh from Olivia.
"He's amazing, maravilloso," She replied, laughing again when she saw the surprised look her future mother-in-law gave her.
"You speak Spanish?" she asked as they followed Rafael and Noah into the kitchen.
"Yes."
"Imagine my surprise when I started speaking in Spanish and realized she understood every word I said," Rafael added.
"Were you grumbling about how she drives you crazy?" Lucia guessed.
"Something like that," Olivia replied with a smile as Rafael began to gather the ingredients for blueberry pancakes.
"Can we tell Abuelita the good news now?" Noah asked his parents.
"Good news?" Lucia repeated, looking between her son and Olivia.
Olivia moved to stand beside Rafael, wrapping an arm around his waist as he spoke.
"Yes. Olivia and I are getting married," he said as Olivia held up her left hand.
Lucia felt tears prick her eyes as she looked at her son and future daughter-in-law. The woman she already considered a daughter in her heart.
"Mami?" Rafael asked cautiously.
"I'm happy for you," she said, moving to hug them both. "Happy you found your way back to each other and were able to move forward together."
"Can we make pancakes now?" Noah asked, oblivious to the tears in the eyes of the three adults. "I want to be the s…shoe…sous…chef again!"
Rafael laughed, pressing a kiss to the side of Olivia's head before releasing her and walking over to pick up their son. "Think you can flip a pancake this time?" he asked.
"Yeah!"
"I guess that's our cue to get out of the way," Olivia said to Lucia. "Would you like a cup of coffee?"
"I'd love one."
After eating the pancakes that Rafael and Noah had made, Lucia brought out the pastelitos.
"These are delicious," Olivia said after biting into an apple flavored one.
"They're one of Rafi's favorites," Lucia said with a smile, watching as Rafael pulled Noah onto his lap and cut a piece of a pastelito for the little boy to try. "They're adorable together."
Olivia smiled and nodded. "They adore each other. He's a good father. He and Noah just made it official a few days ago, but I think they've been father and son for years."
"What do you think, mijo?" Rafael asked.
"Delicioso!" Noah declared, eliciting laughter from the three adults.
"I think the pastelitos are officially a hit," Olivia said to the older woman before being interrupted by the sound of an incoming message on her phone.
"Is everything okay?" Rafael wondered, noticing the way her smile had turned into a frown.
"Lucy's class schedule got switched last minute and now she can't take Noah to school tomorrow morning. I don't want you to be late on your first day back and I promised Chief Garland I'd be in first thing."
"I could take him," Lucia volunteered. "I usually go in a little later on Mondays anyway."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive. I'd love to."
"What do you think, Noah?" Olivia asked.
"Abuelita is going to bring me to school?"
"Yes. Is that okay?"
"Can I have more pastelitos?"
"Maybe next weekend. If you're good for your parents all week," Lucia answered.
"Okay," Noah agreed with a shrug. Turning to his father, he asked his next question. "Can we build Legos now?"
"Go brush your teeth, then we can," Rafael replied.
Sighing, Noah nodded, sliding off of his father's lap to go do as he was instructed.
The next morning, Rafael was tying his tie when he noticed Noah watching him intently.
"What's up, mijo?" he asked.
"How do you do that so quickly?" Noah wondered.
"Years of practice."
"If I…"
After he had finished knotting the tie, Rafael crouched in front of his son.
"If you…what?" he asked.
Reaching out to play with the tie currently around Rafael's neck, Noah considered his question.
"If I got you a new tie…would you wear it?"
"Absolutely," Rafael replied. When the boy continued playing with the fabric, he got the feeling something else was bothering him. "What else is bothering you?"
"I wish you could take me to school," Noah said softly.
"I do, too, but it's my first day back at work and I can't be late. I'll be home after work and we can work on your Legos some more, okay?"
"Can we read a Spanish book tonight?"
"Sure. Maybe you can talk your Abuelita into buying you another one while she takes you to school."
"Do you think she would?"
"I think so. You'll have to ask nicely, though."
Noah nodded, letting go of the tie to wrap his arms around Rafael's neck.
"Te amo," he said.
"También te amo," Rafael replied with a smile.
Hearing a knock at the door, Noah leaned back to look at Rafael again. "Do you think that's Abuelita?"
"Why don't you go find out? I'll be out in a minute."
Noah nodded, running off to the living room to see who had arrived.
As she walked her grandson to school, Lucia smiled as she listened to him talk. He reminded her so much of Rafael when he was young that she sometimes couldn't believe the boy wasn't actually biologically his. But he, the boy, and Olivia had chosen each other and now they were a family, and she was happy to be included.
"Did you walk my dad to school when he was my age?" Noah wondered.
"I did," Lucia confirmed. "He wasn't always very enthusiastic about it, though."
"I don't always like going to school, either. But my mom says I have to."
"Your Mami is right. School is important. I have to go to school, too."
"You do?" Noah asked, looking up at his grandmother in surprise.
Lucia laughed as she nodded. "Yes. I work at a school near my house."
"Are you a teacher?"
"Not anymore, although I fill in for the teachers sometimes."
"Are you their boss?"
"Something like that."
"Can I visit you at your school sometime?"
"Maybe. We'll have to talk to your parents about it."
"Abuelita, look, it's a bookstore!" Noah exclaimed, pointing to a nearby store. "Do you think they have any books in Spanish?"
Lucia looked at her watch, and seeing that they had a few minutes to spare, decided to let her grandson browse. She wasn't going to discourage him from reading and she didn't think either of his parents would have a problem with him getting a new book.
"Hold onto my hand tightly, nieto, and we can look. Just for a couple of minutes, though, okay? I don't want you to be late for school."
"I will," Noah promised.
Walking into his office, Rafael was surprised to find two presents on his desk. Setting his briefcase down, he grabbed the note off of the new bottle of scotch first.
Rafael,
About time you came back to where you belong. Looking forward to sparring with you again soon.
-Rita
P.S. the courthouse leaks like a sieve
Laughing, Rafael put the scotch in his bottom drawer and turned his attention to the next present. Untying the bow and opening the lid, he saw a note on top of a picture frame. Picking up the note, he recognized Olivia's handwriting.
Rafa,
Noah and I thought your desk could use a little decoration. Good luck on your first day. I'll see you soon.
Always yours,
Liv
Setting the note aside, he turned his attention to the frame. Inside was a picture of him, Olivia, and Noah. The one Noah had insisted on taking himself with Olivia's phone on Saturday. Smiling, he took the frame out of the box and set it on his desk.
"I think that's the first time I've seen you smile in over two years," a voice commented from the doorway.
Looking up, Rafael saw Jack McCoy standing there.
"Jack," he said politely.
"Welcome back, Rafael," Jack said as he entered the office. "I mean it. I'm glad you're back. Olivia isn't the only one who wishes you'd never left."
"You had a funny way of showing it."
"I'm sorry, Rafael. I regret a lot about what happened with that case."
"I don't want to talk about it anymore. It was two years ago. What's done is done. I accepted Alex's job offer because I thought I could make a difference here."
"I think you will. Carisi told me how you let him shadow you while he was studying for the bar. You left an impression on him and I think he's a better ADA for it."
"Liv has had good things to say about him," Rafael agreed.
"Did she tell you about the trouble we've been having with the Tobias Moore case?"
"Briefly."
"The man won't show up in court, keeps coming up with excuses. At least we're fairly certain they're excuses. Alex and I advised Carisi to review the case, make sure it's airtight, while we try to get him to appear."
"I'll talk to Carisi, review everything with him and the SVU squad," Rafael replied. "I'm not going to take over the case unless he asks me to, Jack. This is Carisi's."
"Understood," Jack said with a nod of his head. "Let me know if you need anything."
Watching Jack walk out of the room, Rafael finally noticed Carisi standing in the doorway.
"How much of that did you hear?' he asked.
"Most of it," Carisi answered with a shrug.
"I meant what I said, Carisi. This is your case. I'll do everything I can to help you, but I'll only take over if you want me to."
"Thanks."
Rafael nodded, motioning for the younger man to take a seat before doing the same himself. Glancing over at the picture of his family, he took a breath and then turned his attention back to Carisi. "Start at the beginning and tell me everything."
Once Carisi had filled Rafael in on the case, as well as what had happened with Hadid, the former decided to ask the question he'd been wondering since he'd heard the latter was coming back.
"Can I ask what made you decide to accept Alex's job offer?"
"Liv," Rafael replied easily. "I had been trying to find a job that would allow me to remain in New York full time, but wasn't having much luck…all things considered. But then Alex called and told me what was going on. I knew Stone hadn't been a hit, and rumor has it McCoy ended up being unhappy with him as an ADA…something about not being his father. I figured that had to be hard on Liv. When Alex offered me the chance to work with her again, even somewhat indirectly, and to be able to come back to New York full time, I jumped at the chance. I asked her to let me tell Liv. She also mentioned something about all of you cornering McCoy one day."
Carisi chuckled at the memory. "We did. Lu was furious. I've never seen her that mad. She didn't even wait for McCoy's assistant to see if he was available, she just walked right in."
"She has a habit of doing that," Rafael muttered.
Carisi laughed again before continuing. "She told McCoy he was an idiot for pressing charges against you, for letting you just walk away, and that Stone was a complete failure of an ADA. When she found out what we did with the last case, I thought she was going to fire all of us. Anyway, she finished by telling McCoy to get his head out of his ass and find a way to get you back because everyone was suffering without you. Alex was with us for that particular conversation, as you know, and that must be what started the wheels turning in her head."
"I kind of would have liked to be a fly on the wall for that conversation," Rafael said with a smile.
"I don't think I've ever seen McCoy so shocked. Alex and Fin seemed impressed. Rollins and I were a bit shocked, never having seen her get so mad before. Kat wasn't part of the team yet at that point, but she probably would have had a similar reaction to Alex and Fin."
"What makes you say that?"
"One of the first things she said to me was that my outfit said lawyer but my shoes said cop."
"I only met her once, but I can kind of see that happening, actually," Rafael revealed with a laugh.
"You seem happier," Carisi observed.
Rafael nodded. "I am. I have Liv and Noah, and my mom and I are in a good place. I'm home."
"Good. I'm happy for you, both of you." Circling back to an earlier topic, Carisi regarded the older man again. "Would you really take over the case?"
"If that's what you want. Granted, it has to be approved, but still. Why? Are you thinking that's what you want?"
"I don't know. I just want this guy to get his ass handed to him…and if that means handing the case over to you, then that's what I'll do. I feel like he and his judge-turned-lawyer again are just going to keep pulling more tricks that I won't be able to keep up with and this guy will end up getting away with everything."
"All right, well, regardless of who takes lead on the case, I'd still like to talk to Liv and the rest of the squad about this. I wasn't there when the investigation was going on, so I would like to hear first-hand what their take on everything is. Not that I don't trust your notes…"
"I understand. Let's go, then. The sooner you get filled in, the better."
Olivia was finishing up some paperwork when she heard a knock at her door. Looking up, she was surprised to see Amanda standing in her doorway.
"Got a sec?" she asked.
"Of course," Olivia replied, already noticing the nerves of the younger woman as she closed the door and took a seat in a nearby chair.
"Can we take a break from being boss and employee and just have a minute of girl talk?"
"Is everything okay?"
"I don't know."
"Are Jesse and Billie okay?"
"Yeah, they're great."
"Carisi," Olivia guessed.
"How did you know?"
Olivia laughed. "You really spent six years working with Rafael and me, and you're still asking that question?"
Amanda smiled, then turned serious again and sighed. "I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him," she confessed.
"Pretty sure?"
"Yeah. I mean, he's great with both my kids. It's like it was always meant to be the four of us."
"I know that feeling."
"Yeah?"
"Yes. Rafael wasn't as comfortable with Noah as a baby as Carisi was with Jesse and then Billie, but it didn't take them long to warm to each other. Once they did, Rafael quickly became Noah's favorite honorary uncle. At the same time, Rafael and I got closer. He became my best friend. He was the first person to make me feel like it was okay to just be me. I didn't need to be some vision of myself he had in his head, like with Brian and Ed. I was devastated when he left, mad at myself for not telling him how I really felt sooner. But he's back now and it kind of scares me how much it's like he never left. Like it's always been him, Noah, and me. Noah even calls him 'dad' now."
"Doesn't that scare you?"
"It did, at first. Now, though? It makes me incredibly happy," she answered, reaching for her coffee and taking a sip.
"Did Barba propose?!" Amanda nearly exclaimed as she reached for Olivia's left hand, having noticed the ring when Olivia picked up her coffee cup.
"He did."
"Congratulations."
"Thank you. But we were talking about you and Carisi, not me and Rafael."
"Right," Amanda said before taking a breath and letting it out. "I don't know what to do, Liv. I've never been big on long-term commitments…but with Sonny…I can't see a future without him in it. Not just as my friend…but as my partner…through, well, everything. He's the favorite of both my girls, like Barba is with Noah."
"I can't tell you what to do, Amanda, but I can tell you that finally being able to be with Rafael is everything I ever imagined and more. I'm marrying my best friend. As your friend, if being with Carisi is what you want, I think you should go for it. As your boss, I want to make sure you're aware that I expect you to disclose if you decide to go that route. Rafael will expect the same of Carisi."
"I'll keep that in mind," Amanda said as she stood. "Do you mind if I take a quick break and walk around? I'll keep my cell on me…"
"Go ahead," Olivia told her. "Mind picking me up another coffee on the way back?"
"Sure," Amanda agreed, opening the door. "On second thought, I guess I'll have to owe you one. Seems your coffee fix has been covered."
"Huh?"
"Your husband-to-be is here with his new sidekick."
"Why is Rafa here?"
"Beats me. I'm sure he'll fill you in. Think he'll mind if I steal Carisi for that walk?"
"He could probably use a break," Olivia said with a laugh.
Watching Rafael and Carisi walk into the squad room, Kat couldn't resist teasing the latter again.
"See, Carisi, that is how you fully dress like a lawyer," she said, indicating Barba, who simply smirked and continued on his way to Olivia's office.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Carisi replied, feeling slightly irritated.
"You know she's just giving you a hard time, right?" Amanda asked as she approached, placing a hand on his arm.
"I know," Carisi replied, letting out a breath. "It's been a long morning."
Sensing that Carisi needed to talk as much as she did, maybe more, she looped her arm through his and began to guide him out of the room.
"Come on, let's walk and talk."
Walking into Olivia's office, Rafael set her coffee on her desk before leaning down and giving her a light kiss.
"Hi," he greeted as he perched on the edge of her desk, facing her.
"Hi," Olivia returned with a smile, picking up the new cup of coffee. "Thanks for this."
"Of course. Everything okay?"
"I'm a little worried about the Moore case, and about Amanda, but overall, things are good here. How was your morning?"
"I'll tell you about it later, after Noah's asleep. Heard more about your run-in with McCoy, though."
"Carisi told you the whole story?"
"I can't believe you told Jack McCoy to get his head out of his ass," Rafael told her with a laugh.
"I can't, either. I was so mad; I wasn't really paying much attention to what I was saying. I just wanted you back so badly. Not only in my life, but to work with you again. I had fought with Noah the night before and hadn't slept well, plus I had just found out about everything Stone and my squad did without my knowledge. It all kind of cumulated into yelling at McCoy because I saw him as the person responsible for the whole mess."
"Liv…"
"I know, I know, we've talked about this. But I wasn't thinking rationally at that moment, and I'll never forgive McCoy for what he did to you."
Rafael nodded, taking a sip of his own coffee as he heard Olivia let out a breath.
"So, aside from what you've already told me, what worries you about the Moore case?" he asked a few moments later.