A/N: So, I was listening to those "monster" ballads on Spotify and on came Survivor's The Search is Over. I thought, hey, this sounds like an H/M song, doesn't it? So, I thought up this story. It's just a one shot, so I don't feel like I'm betraying my other stories much, and hey, I'm just glad I finished it, even though I kind of fizzled at the end. I have chapters started on most of my active stories, and for some reason, I just can't seem to settle on one to complete. They aren't bad, but I feel like they aren't good…kinda in a slump. Hopefully that will end soon, and I will have better fare to offer!

The Search is Over

He's leaning against the bar, drinking the last swallow from his beer, when she walks in. It isn't that he's been watching the door for her, but he knows the exact moment she steps inside. It's that now familiar tingle he gets at the back of his neck, the one he first noted sometime after their first mission together, that tells him she's arrived. He won't admit it to himself, but he's relieved; she's had a rough couple of months, and he's noticed she's withdrawn from him little by little as of late. He isn't sure when that started…correction: he knows exactly when it started, though he does his best not to acknowledge the fact that she's been pulling away from him since Christmas.

He catches her eye as she scans the room for familiar faces, gives him a small smile when she recognizes him, but even from across the room he can see the smile doesn't reach her eyes. That makes him sad; since the moment they'd made peace with each other after he had, in fact, deliberately sandbagged her in court, they've been close, spending time together frequently outside of work, going to movies, the Smithsonian, even the occasional baseball game. Now, he can count on one hand how many times he's seen her outside of work since Christmas, and each one of those times was for, well, work.

The fact of the matter is, he has a girlfriend, or had a girlfriend anyway, but Mac doesn't know yet that he and Jordan have broken it off. He's only told Keeter about it; for some reason he's embarrassed about the end of another relationship. Well, maybe he's not so much embarrassed about the end of the relationship…perhaps he's more embarrassed about the fact that once again, he's managed to find another neurotic, insecure female to date. Jordan's insecurities and neuroses are certainly different than Annie's, but the end result is the same.

Harm still has a hard time fathoming that Jordan actually said what she said to Mac; after all, weren't psychiatrists supposed to use their words and training to help people? Ever since that other night at McMurphy's, it's been obvious that Jordan's words to Mac have not helped any of them—not his and Jordan's relationship, and certainly not his and Mac's. Mac hasn't said more than four words to him since that night.

Harm motions for the bartender to get him another beer and then his eyes are drawn to Mac once again. She's dressed simply in jeans and a sweater, the sweater being that particular shade of red that he loves best on her. It also clings to every soft curve, from the swell of her perfect breasts to her slim waist, to the top of that beautiful six of hers, and yet it is still oddly modest, and the contradictions send a rush of blood to his groin.

He clamps down in that feeling immediately; he is well practiced at it after all these years, but for some reason he can't just tell himself that his reaction to Mac is normal considering how utterly beautiful she is.

The truth is, ever since Jordan told him what she'd said to Mac—that she thought her relationship with him would only last until Mac decided she wanted him—he's been seeing his JAG partner in a new light.

While he can thank Jordan for his new insights, he's still livid that she spoke to Mac like that. He's still furious that she actually asked Mac what she thought about his prowess in bed when she knows he and Mac have never crossed that line. He knows Mac well enough to be sure she was mortified by that question; his partner has always held herself to extremely high moral standards and given the recent revelations about her not-quite-ex-husband and her past relationship with Col. John Farrow, he knows she would be extra sensitive to any further questions about her character.

Damn Jordan anyway.

On the other hand, she certainly did make it easier to end a relationship he sensed was going nowhere…maybe he actually owes her a favor?

Harm focuses again on Mac as he takes a sip of his fresh beer. It occurs to him that since he's met Mac and learned about her past alcoholism, he's never had more than one beer in her presence. He knows she doesn't mind if he drinks around her, but out of respect, he's always limited himself. That thought causes him to set his bottle back on the bar as he continues to contemplate the enigma that is his best friend…

When he first met her in the White House Rose Garden, all he could see was his lost love, Diane. They could have been twins, and he was sure the universe or God or whomever was playing a cruel joke on him. After all, Bud had known Diane too, and yet, the younger man hadn't seemed thrown by the major's appearance. For all Harm knew, Mac actually looked nothing like Diane, and it was only Harm's mind that was conjuring up the dead woman's image.

In more rational moments, Harm had known he wasn't just seeing things. Sarah MacKenzie and Diane Schonke were nearly identical in appearance, although the more he got to know Mac, the more differences he could see…

Mac's hair was lighter, more of a dark chestnut than the near black that was Diane's. Mac's eyes were more golden, like amber on molten chocolate, where Diane's were nearly as dark as her hair. Diane possessed a formidable intellect as did Mac, but Diane's personality was all sunshine and cheer. Mac's personality was darker, quieter, deeper…she'd been hurt far more grievously in life than Diane had ever been, at least until that bastard Holbarth murdered her, and Mac could see through him in a way Diane never could. It made his relationship with his new partner rocky at first; Diane had always let him get away with so much, but Mac gave him no quarter. She challenged him in a way Diane never had, and gradually, Harm began to see Mac for Mac. Any confusion he may have still harbored in his brain about the two women after that disappeared the moment he'd kissed Mac on the docks at Norfolk. Kissing Diane had never felt like that…

Harm comes back to the present when he hears her musical laugh over the crowd of people. It surprises him for a moment; he hasn't heard her laugh in so long, but maybe it's just that she isn't laughing around him. He wants to change that. He wants things to go back to how they were before Jordan, before Chris Ragle, before John Farrow…he wants to take back all the nasty things he said to her when they were stuck on the Watertown. He wants to go back to Christmas Eve, when he'd known she was troubled by the previous months. He should have hung up the phone on whatever bimbo he'd been trying to coerce into going sailing with him. He should have realized Jordan was almost as insecure as Annie had been, and he regrets defending her so vigorously on the DUI charge. Of course, her cough syrup had alcohol in it and as a medical doctor, she should have known better. At the time, however, he'd still been reeling over the fate of his father, and he'd been so disappointed that Mac had kept her marriage to Ragle and affair with John Farrow from him. He'd suspected what had happened with Farrow, but the fact that she was still married to a felon threw him. After everything they'd been through together, from their ill-fated flight in the Appalachians, to their fight with her stalker, to their time in Russia, he would have thought she would have trusted him enough to confide in him.

Harm feels a stab of guilt at his musings. The truth is, Mac would have confided in him about Ragle if he hadn't been so busy trying to wine and dine Bobbie Latham. He hadn't even liked Bobbie much then, and he doesn't like her any more now after their one night together. For a brief moment in time, Harm saw Bobbie as someone who could further his career, and she saw him as…well, he still isn't sure what she wanted with him. All he knows is that Mac has done so much for him over the years, and he's continued to let her down time after time.

He hears Mac laugh again, and in that moment, the admiral comes up beside him. The two men acknowledge each other as AJ orders himself a drink. When his scotch on the rocks arrives, he leans against the bar next to Harm and they both watch as Mac converses with Bud and Harriet. Mac is now leaning forward and putting her hands on Harriet's pregnant belly, her smile widening after a moment, and Harm imagines that she's feeling the baby move underneath her fingertips. It's a sweet scene, and Harm finds himself smiling as well.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" Harm turns his head in surprise and stares at his CO.

"Sir?" He feels a flash of jealousy. Admiral Chegwidden has no right to think Mac is beautiful!

Before Harm can explore that thought any further, AJ nods his head at their three colleagues. "Harriet. She glows." The words sound odd coming from the gruff admiral, but Harm can hear the wistfulness underneath them and he knows AJ is thinking of his ex-wife when she was pregnant with Francesca.

"Yeah, she does, doesn't she?"

The admiral nods, but then his gaze turns speculative. "You thought I was talking about Mac, didn't you." It's more of a statement than a question, and Harm is no less surprised by that as he was about his words regarding Harriet. He's actually shocked into answering in the affirmative.

"Uh, yeah, sir, I did."

The admiral takes another sip of his drink and then sets it down next to Harm's forgotten beer. "Son, when are you going to get your head out of your six?"

"Sir?"

The admiral merely claps a hand on his shoulder, then walks away to join Mac and the Roberts, leaving Harm to his thoughts.

Well, it's really just one thought…or rather, it's many thoughts about one person.

Mac…

He misses her.

She's the only person who will argue with him without backing down.

She's the only person who knows all the sordid details about his father.

She'd stood by him through his relationship and breakup with Annie, even after she read him the riot act for taking Josh on the Tiger cruise without Annie's permission.

She took him in when he was a fugitive after he'd been accused of murdering that Russian gangster…then went to Russia with him, just to protect his six, and he knows with every fiber of his being, that even as she gave him hell about running on emotion, she would have followed him had he refused to reveal himself to Falcon.

She's been with him through so much…

Until now…

And it hurts more than he ever thought it could…

He knows he's on the brink of an epiphany here.

It's at that moment that Mac turns toward him again. Their eyes lock and something electric shoots through him and this time he can see that she feels it too. Those beautiful amber eyes widen and she turns away from him, but he can still feel the lightning crackling between them. He suddenly feels like the luckiest man in the world, because he finally sees her. She's the best friend he's ever had. She's the person he wants to call when something good happens to him, or even when it's something bad. She's the woman his mother always asks about when she calls, no matter whom he's dating. She's the woman that he…loves.

He loves her.

He loves her.

With that revelation, Harm is now a man on a mission. He tosses a few bills on the bar, enough to cover triple what he's ordered, then heads straight to the jukebox. He finds the perfect song and punches the numbers in, and before long, the ballad is blasting out of the speakers. A little tingle tells him she's watching him again, and as he walks toward her, she doesn't look away. She's still surrounded by their friends, but they all seem to fade in the background as he holds his hand out to her. He hasn't even asked the question, but she's already sliding her hand into his and nodding. He pulls her toward the dance floor and takes her in his arms; her eyes are still wide and she's a bit hesitant, but then she melts into him. They sway to the music and for a moment he just enjoys holding her. He knows he needs to tell her everything, and he will, but for now they dance, his hand pressed to her lower back, her head on his shoulder.

All too soon, the final strains of his song fade away, but he's not ready to let her go. She lifts her head, and he realizes he's just staring stupidly at her. He tries to open his mouth, but he's so mesmerized by her that he just…stares.

"Harm?" she whispers, and he shouldn't be able to hear her above the noise in the bar, but it's like they're in their own little bubble, protected from the outside world. "What is it?"

"Mac, I…" He swallows hard. "I—I've dated a lot of women…"

Her eyes widen at that; clearly, that wasn't what she was expecting him to say and she starts to pull back, but he stops her. "And you've dated…well, you've…" She's glaring at him now and he starts bumbling in his efforts to turn this around. "I mean…you've dated…Dalton, I guess, and…" He takes a deep breath, trying to gather his thoughts.

"Harm, what's your point?" She's out of his arms and definitely angry now, and he needs to fix this.

"My point…my point is…every time we've dated other people, every time we've fought, argued, every time we thought our friendship was over, we keep coming back to—to this." He motions in between them. "You're my best friend, and I never, ever want to lose that."

"Harm, you won't—"

"But it—it's not enough for me anymore."

"What are you saying, Harm?" She looks nervous now, and he prays it's not because she knows where he's going with this and she's afraid she's going to have to break his heart.

"I'm saying…you've been…you've been there for me, Mac. We've been there for each other, and…and I think it's time we ask ourselves why that is…"

"Well, that's…that's what friends do…"

"It's more than that, Mac…" He steps forward and puts his hands on her waist. "Mac, I've been all over the world…looking for…something…and it's taken a long time for me to realize that everything I've ever wanted is right here. I've tried to fight it, ignore it, hell, I think I've even tried to ruin it a time or two, but here we are, and…and I'm still making a mess of things…"

Mac's eyes are wet now, and he's worried he's about ruin this even when he's trying so hard not to. Finally, he decides just to go for broke.

"Mac, I love you."

She blinks at him for a moment, then smiles at him and he wants to jump in triumph, but then she says something that totally takes the wind out of his sails.

"Oh, Harm…I love you too. You're the best friend I've ever had…thank you."

Thank you? "Uh…you're welcome?" His response is automatic, but it hits him then that he and she are discussing entirely different things.

"No, Mac…no…I mean, I love you."

"What?" Understanding is dawning on her face and she looks almost…scared.

"I love you, Mac. I want to be with you. I know that you might not feel the way I do, but…"

"Harm, stop…you don't…you can't mean that."

"No, Mac, I do…and I'm asking for a chance—"

"Harm—"

"Just listen to me, Mac…"

"Harm, stop."

"Why, Mac?" Mac looks away from him and there's suddenly a sinking feeling in his chest. He gently cups her chin and turns her back to him. "Tell me why."

She swallows a couple of times, then finally opens her mouth to speak. "Harm…with you…there's always complications…another woman…work…searching for your father."

"That's all past."

"Is it? What about Jordan?" She looks pointedly at him, and it's with great relief that he can tell her he and Jordan are over.

"Jordan and I…we're done, Mac."

"Why?" Now she looks really nervous and her entire body stiffens.

"Does it really matter, Mac?" She nods with his hand still on her chin.

"Yeah, it…it does…"

"She told me about what she said to you."

Mac blushes furiously. "She did? Harm…that's no reason to break up with—"

"Yeah, it is, Mac." He can tell she wants to protest, and he shakes his head. "It is. But it was more than that. She just wasn't what I wanted."

"What do you want, Harm?" To his relief, she looks hopeful now, and he feels emboldened enough to dip his head and lower his lips toward hers.

"You."

It's then that they finally kiss. It's just as sweet and filled with longing as their one kiss on the docks of Norfolk, only this time, there's no doubt whom he's kissing. They finally break apart when the need for air becomes too great, and he ends the kiss with a few delicate nips. She's looking up at him with wonder, and he knows she's finally starting to understand what all of this means. He can see she still has doubts, though, and he aches to reassure her. "Mac?"

"You really…"

"Yeah, Mac." She's looking skeptical, however, and he raises his eyebrows at her in question.

"Harm…you're always…reaching for something…dreaming…how long before you go off searching for something else…something other than me?" She's biting her lip now, and he can't help thinking how adorable she is, even as it tears at his heart that she still questions his honesty. He can't blame her for doubting what he feels, though, and he vows then and there to do everything he can to convince her that all of this is real.

"Mac, there's no need for any of that any more…I don't have to search because everything I've always wanted has been right here all the while."

She's still biting her lip and her eyes are wet again, but then she smiles. "You mean it?"

"I mean it, Mac." He gives her another long and loving kiss, this one filled with passion as well.

"I mean it." He kisses her again.

"The search is over."

End