Hello! This is just a coda I wrote based off of episode 15x03. Hope you enjoy it!
Sam had begun to lose track of time after Rowena died. He did remember the morning after, after he had laid in bed for hours pretending he could actually fall asleep. When the numbness began to fade away and being alone with his own thoughts became too much, he left his room to search out his brother and Cas. He had found Dean slumped over the map table. A full bottle of whiskey- its amber liquid glittering in the fluorescent lighting- sitting just out of arm's reach. He had shaken his brother awake, asked him where Cas was. Dean had sat up as if in a daze, blinking blearily around the room before his face crumbled like a building burning.
It had taken two days for Sam to coax the full story out of him. Dean holed himself up in his room, refusing to eat or talk. Sam had felt bitter; Rowena was dead, but Cas was alive and it was Dean's own damn fault for pushing him away. As if Sam didn't want to lock himself away from the world in the same way- but Dean left no room for anyone else's grief.
After that first day, the rest had started to blur together until it all became one endless string of monotony; the two of them going through daily motions without any real motivation behind them.
It was forty-seven days after Cas left when they got a call from Jody.
"Hey, Sam." Her voice rang out clear, despite the slight echo from Sam's speaker phone. He stepped into the library, bare feet padding quietly across the cold floor. Dean was hunched over a table near the back wall, pretending to read a book on ancient Druidic magic. Sam had asked him to help with his research on a spell, but it was mostly for show. He was aware Dean found the whole thing pointless, as was his opinion on most everything recently, but Sam had thrown himself into the art when Rowena had died. It had felt like the only way to honor her memory.
"And Dean." Sam chimed, setting his phone on the table so that his brother could join the conversation. Dean barely spared it a glance as he absently flipped a page in the dusty book.
"And Dean." Jody amended, taking a deep breath. "I don't know if you guys are busy or not, but I think I've got something for you here."
Sam and Dean shared a look, the silence of the bunker echoing around them.
"I think we can make time." Sam tipped his hip against the table and rubbed painfully at his forehead. Dean merely grunted his ascension.
"That would be really great- I haven't seen you boys in a while. I hope you've been doing okay after… you know, everything."
The unspoken sentiment in her words might as well have been ground glass in their open and gaping wounds. What had happened, that 'everything', had left them with nothing but each other and, somehow, had created a divide between them that simultaneously forced them to cling tighter to each other. Like a messed up magnet that couldn't decide if it wanted to push or pull. They were alone together with the realization that that was really the last thing they ever wanted.
"Uhm," Jody cleared her throat awkwardly, sensing the tension even through phone. "So- three people dead, all last seen at different bars throughout town. And all three had left with a different person."
"Okay, so- vampire nest?" Sam guessed, closing his eyes around a thick yawn.
"That's what I thought at first, too. And then I watched the security footage from the second two bars."
"Why just the second two?" Dean questioned, voice grinding unnaturally against his throat, as if he hadn't spoken properly for days.
"First one didn't have any security cameras." Jody explained flippantly. "But, the other two got some pretty good images of the victims leaving. And in both of them, the perp looks directly into the camera. And their eyes were- well, freaky."
"Shifter." Sam and Dean replied in unison, sounding less than thrilled.
"That's what it looks like." Jody let out an exasperated sigh, the sound crackling over the phone like static. "Listen, this is something I would handle on my own but this shifter is totally unpredictable. The body they posed in each time was completely different, as were the victims they chose. Different bars, different methods of killing, even different body dump sites." Jody paused to collect herself as her voice grew tight. "It's infuriating. There's no rhyme or reason to it, and it's attracted the attention of the feds. So now I've got two schmucks sucking up all of my space at the station and breathing down my neck every second of the day. I just- could really use some backup on this one, guys."
"Of course, Jody." Sam had grown concerned over the clear agitation in her voice. "You know we're always here to help out."
"Just give us some time to get our shit together." Dean requested, leaning forward to speak closer to the phone. "We'll be there."
Jody let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you, so much. I'll see you boys soon."
"Right- bye, Jody." Sam tapped the screen, ending the call before turning to Dean. His face was empty as he rose stiffly from the table, wincing at the ache in his joints the motion caused him.
"Meet you in the garage in an hour."
Sam stepped toward him, making an aborted motion with his hand. "Dean-"
A muscle in Dean's jaw twitched as he flinched away from him, voice emotionless and leaving no space for disagreement when spoke, "Don't. Let's go."
Sam let out a sigh that weighed down his entire body; sagging in on himself with the weight of every shitty thing that had happened to them in the past few months. He watched his brother walk from the room, favoring his right leg as his left knee had recently succumbed to some of the older injuries it had sustained without Cas around to keep it healed. Sam tucked his phone into his pocket and ran a hand through his greasy hair. He couldn't remember the last time he had showered- figured that would probably be best to do before they left, and headed to the bathrooms.
An hour later, they loaded up the car in silence, the concrete floor and walls of the bunker's garage eating up any sound they made. It took Dean two tries to get the engine of the Impala to sputter to life, whining sickly when it finally caught. Dean held the steering wheel in an unforgiving grip, staring blankly through the dirty windshield and at the cold, concrete wall beyond before throwing her into reverse and easing out of the garage.
They stopped only once during the drive, and only because Sam's stomach was growling loudly and the needle on the gas gauge was ticking near empty. Dean fueled up the car while Sam ran inside the station, grabbing the first food he saw- wrapped in sickly yellow paper and turning to rubber under a heat lamp.
Dean was sitting behind the wheel again when Sam got back, turning the keys in the ignition and tapping the dashboard in quiet thanks when she started on the first try. Sam handed him a sandwich through the driver's window and sat his own on top of the car, turning to grab a window squeegee from the end of the nearest pump. Dean preoccupied himself with carefully pulling apart the crinkly wrapping of his sandwich, setting it carefully in his lap and fixing it with a morose stare. Outside, Sam meticulously cleaned the windshield with a quiet squeak of rubber over wet glass.
Sam joined him back in the car when he was finished. He unwrapped his own food and had carelessly shoveled half of it down before realizing Dean hadn't touched his. It sat beside him, still nestled in its wrapping, as he navigated out of the parking lot and back onto the interstate.
"Dean-" Sam tried, throat dry and voice thin. He cleared it, tried again. "Dean, you should eat."
"Not hungry." He grunted, flicking his turn signal as he changed lanes.
"When's the last time you-"
"Shut up and eat your food." Dean cut him off and flipped the radio on. Spun the volume dial until there was no room for conversation amidst the sound of whining guitars and a hollow drum beat.
The drive from Lebanon to Sioux Falls- one that they were fairly familiar with at this point in their lives- usually took them about five hours. If traffic was fair and the weather was mild and Dean went about fifteen over the posted speed limit. This time it took them just over six hours until they were pulling into Jody's drive way. Sam had been tapping his fingers anxiously on his knees and casting sideways glances at his brother for the past hour. Dean had been utterly checked out the entire drive. Sam was used to his brother's fast and reckless driving but this had been… something else. He had been consistently under the speed limit and Sam had noticed more than once that his eyes had gone glassy and distant, obviously not really seeing. He had nearly side-swiped a semi-truck, twice.
"How long has it been?" Sam spoke up tentatively as Dean parked his car in front of Jody's detached garage. He sat, motor still running, still holding the steering wheel.
"Forty days, Dean."
Dean blinked and his eyes wandered to his brother's face. He noticed the dark circles under his eyes, pressed there like bruises, and the slight sallowness tinting his cheeks. Dean knew Sam was hurting because of Rowena, because of mom and Jack and Cas- knew he was doing his best to keep going every day, unlike himself. Sam had started researching as much as he could about magic out of Rowena's old spell books and kept mentioning possible cases. He had even left Dean behind for a few that were close by, just to get out of the bunker- to get away from him. He tried, really tried, to take care of Dean even though he himself was hurting. But Dean was always the one taking care of people. He never left any room for others to even begin to learn how to take care of him.
"Forty-seven." Dean croaked, looking away.
Sam sighed, turned his body fully towards him and shook his head in desperation. "You've gotta pull it together, man."
Dean ticked his head to the side, looking out his window. "I'm fine, Sammy."
Sam scoffed; a breathy exhale that sounded on the verge of hysteria. "No you're not, Dean! This is the first time you've left the bunker in forty-seven days. You don't sleep. You don't eat." He gestured pointedly at the untouched food still sitting between them. "You don't even drink."
"I just- what's the point, Sam?"
"What's the point?" Sam echoed hollowly. "How about me? I'm asking you to try, Dean. I can't stand seeing you like this anymore."
Dean's eyes set on his brother's face, lips pushed into a hard line. "No offense, Sam, but look where that's gotten us. I do everything for you- have done everything for you- and now what do we have?"
Sam narrowed his eyes, anger crawling through his blood. "Don't put that shit on me- I've done the same for you."
"That's what I'm sayin', Sammy!" Dean pressed his palms into his knees, hard and desperate and feeling like he could tear apart at the seams if someone pulled his just right. "And look where we are now- just the two of us." He clenched his jaw and looked out the window again, hiding his face. "Finally got what we wanted, I guess."
Sam reached a hand across the space between them to grip his brother's shoulder, fingers pressing tightly into the thick cloth of his jacket. "Look- we're here for Jody, okay? Just focus on that. On Claire and Alex and Donna- they're still here, Dean! They care about us, so let's go do this- for them."
Dean gave a stiff nod, just a short jerk of his head and Sam's hand dropped away. "I'm just- I'm so fucking tired, Sam."
"Yeah- yeah, I know."
"No, you don't." He snapped the keys out of the ignition and opened his door, slamming it shut behind him.
Dean took a deep breath as they approached the front door, gathering himself enough to plaster on his performing mask. Jody greeted them on the porch, looking tired in a pair of baggy grey sweats and a long sleeve thermal shirt to ward against the chilly night air.
"Sam, Dean!" She exclaimed, rocking onto the tips of her toes to wrap her arms around each of their necks. She pulled them into the soft lighting of the entryway, smile stretched wide and a little sad around the edges. "It's so good to see you boys."
"Alex and Claire here?" Dean asked, glancing around the tidy interior.
"Claire is up in her room." Jody replied, glancing at the wall clock in the living room. It was nearing seven at night and the smell of a good home cooked meal permeated the house. "Alex should be home from work any minute."
"Oh look, the Hardy Boys finally showed." Claire's sullen voice drifted to them from the top of the stairs.
"The Hardy Boys?" Dean met her at the bottom of the steps, pulling her into a hug. "Aren't you a little young for that reference?"
Claire scoffed, stepping away only to be wrapped in another quick hug from Sam. "Hey- I know things."
"Yeah, apparently not enough." Dean smirked at Claire and she stuck her tongue out at him. "You guys wanna give us the low-down on this shifter?"
Sam frowned at his brother's act, wondering over how easy it was for him to turn it on when he needed to.
"It started just over two weeks ago," Jody began, leading them through the living room and towards the long, oak dining table. There were case files littering the surface, loose papers were strewn over the placements. "First body was found in a dumpster round the back. The second bar was a bit further out- close to the city limits- that body was found in the surrounding woods. Third was found a block away from that bar, dumped into this river." Jody pointed to each location as she mentioned them on a map of the city she had fanned out.
"Do you have pictures from the security footage?" Sam asked, pulling out a chair and scanning the papers in front of him.
"Here." Jody handed him a manilla folder with several stills inside. The first was of a body, laid out on a sterile, metal coroner's table. There were several clean puncture wounds dotting random areas of his torso.
"This is the man that was found in the dumpster? The first victim?" Sam asked, pinching the corner of the photo and holding it up to her. Jody nodded. The next image featured a tall, buff man with his arm slung around the shoulders of another, slighter male. The larger man's face was tilted up towards the camera and his eyes were gleaming silver.
"He was found in the woods." Jody commented, gesturing towards the smaller man.
The last picture was of what appeared to be a girl in her late teens or early twenties, long black hair slung over her shoulder. She was holding hands with an older man wearing an unassuming sweater vest and thick-rimmed glasses. Her eyes were also shining against the lens of the camera.
"Anything unusual about the murders?" Dean questioned, thumbing through a random file of papers as he hunched over the table.
"They were all killed in different ways." Jody replied, sliding out two more pictures from Sam's file and laying them out. "The first was stabbed, obviously." She gestured to the picture Sam had already seen. "The second looked like he was strangled." Jody ran a finger over the photographed neck of the man which showcased a nasty red and purple bruise about an inch thick. "And the third was shot, point blank, in the head."
Sam and Dean crowded over the final picture, taking in the man's cold, blue face and the single, clean bullet wound in the center of his forehead.
Sam made a thoughtful noise somewhere in the back of his throat and leaned back in his chair. "When did the feds get in?"
"Three days ago." Claire replied, pulling out a seat across from Sam and tapping her fingers against the table. "They're trying to say it's a serial killer, but that's obviously not right."
Sam nodded, running a hand through his hair. "Right. Serial killers usually stick to one method of killing. They're more…"
"Ritualistic." Jody finished his thought. "Yeah, I told them the same thing. And not to mention they were seen with different possible suspects and each of the bodies were dumped in vastly different locations. But, you know the FBI."
"How hard to you think it's gonna be for us to work around those guys?" Dean asked. "Think we can get away with posing as feds, too?"
"I think you'll be fine." Jody sounded amused. "They're not exactly the most competent agents I've run into."
Sam looked across the table to Claire, who simply shrugged. "I haven't met them. Jody won't let me near the police station."
"Last time you were there you broke into our confidential files!" Jody accused, pointing a stern finger at her.
"I wouldn't have had to break into them if you would have just given me the information I was looking for." Claire huffed.
Jody shook her head and disappeared into the kitchen. "You guys hungry?" She called around the distant sound of plates clinking together. "Alex will be home soon and I have dinner already made. You may as well join us."
Sam and Dean complied, helping Claire clear off the table and set out plates and silverware. Alex arrived just as they were finishing, looking tired but happy in a pair of wrinkly, red hospital scrubs, and they all sat around the table to eat. Dean and Sam were quiet as they filled their plates with warm bread and messy portion of lasagna, listening to Alex recount a story about a child who had been brought in earlier that day for swallowing a penny. The gentle banter between her and Claire was soothing in its reminiscence of their own brotherly teasing, and they couldn't help but smile warmly at the two of them.
Sam sat back when he realized he couldn't possibly stuff himself any fuller, patting his stomach in contentment. It had been too long since he'd had a truly decent meal. "That was delicious, Jody. Thank you."
"Yeah, really great." Dean agreed, forcing a tight smile as he pushed the last few bites of food around his plate. Sam knew he was only making himself eat for Jody's sake, but he was glad to see it nonetheless.
"I made up Claire's room for you guys. You'll have to fight over the bed but there is an air mattress on the floor." Jody informed them as she began clearing the table. Sam rose from his chair to help her.
"You didn't have to do that- we can sleep in the living room." Dean insisted, looking to Claire. She rolled her eyes and flicked her napkin at him.
"It's not a big deal, dork."
Jody snatched a pile of plates from Sam's arms and waved him away. "I've got this. You guys can go bring your stuff up to Claire's room. We can go to the station first thing tomorrow morning, but for tonight just get some rest- you guys had a long drive."
Dean mumbled something about being babied but shut his mouth quickly at the fiery look Jody shot him. Realizing it would be pointless to fight Jody's hospitality, they submitted to her instructions and lugged their bags up to Claire's room.
There was a full sized bed tucked against the corner of the room, covered in a soft blue and grey duvet. An air mattress was set up parallel to the bed on the floor, blown up a little firm for Dean's taste, but he perched himself on it regardless.
"I'll take this. You can have the bed."
Sam frowned as he dug through his duffel for his pajamas. "I don't mind, Deamn. I know those things hurt your back."
"You're too tall for it. Just take the bed." His tone was short and decisive as he gathered a bundle of clothes. Before Sam could argue the point any further, he was out the door.
"Whoa." Claire swerved out of Dean's way as he stepped swiftly into the hall.
"Sorry." He grumbled before remembering himself and lightening his tone. "Uh, shower?"
"Down the hall." Claire pointed to a closed door.
"Thanks." Dean made to walk away, but she fixed him with a concerned look.
"Are you, uh, okay?"
Dean flashed her a smile. "Yeah, I'm great. Just want to take a shower before I turn in."
Claire looked unimpressed. Dean's face faltered, just a little, and he turned his back to her. "Goodnight, Claire."
He took two steps before she stopped him.
"Cas called me, you know. A few weeks ago."
Dean turned back to her, mask fallen clean away.
"You wanna, I don't know, talk about it or something?"
"No." His voice came out thicker than he meant. Claire sighed and leaned against the wall.
"Fine, keep being stupid." She crossed her arms tightly over her chest, narrowed her eyes at him. "You know he'd forgive you though, right? All you'd have to do is ask. Cas would do anything for you- you know that, right?"
Dean scoffed, feeling suddenly light-headed. Claire had no idea what she was talking about. What he had done- had said- was irreparable. Besides, he didn't deserve to be forgiven. All he did was break things over and over until they were too small to break anymore. He took until there was nothing left to give and never gave back.
"Dean?" Claire was reaching towards him, face drawn in worry.
Dean took a deep breath, gathering his errant emotions until they were back under his control. He tucked them tightly away and turned his back to her.
"Goodnight, Claire."
He scrubbed his skin obsessively in the shower, until it was pink and raw and the scorching hot water stung like antiseptic. He stood in the spray until he was numb and detached and then he laid on the air mattress, staring at the ceiling until the sun through Claire's bedroom window chased away the shadows of the night and Sam was shifting awake.
"Good morning sleepy heads!" Jody greeted them in the kitchen after they dressed in their suits and headed downstairs. She was holding a full pot of delicious, steaming coffee in one hand, spatula in the other.
"How the hell early do you get up?" Dean grumbled, glaring at the digital clock on the microwave that read five am.
Jody's face scrunched up in an amused smile as she filled two mugs with coffee. "I'm a mom- I'm always up."
Sam and Dean each grabbed a cup, letting out twin sighs of bliss as they drank.
"I'm making eggs and bacon for breakfast, when we're done with that we can head out." And then she was ushering them out of the small kitchen so she could cook.
They made fast work of breakfast; together they all managed to eat their way through a full package of bacon, half a bag of bread, a carton of eggs, and two pots of coffee before they were ready to go. Jody saw Alex out the door on her way to work and promised Claire she'd call as soon as they finished at the station.
Sam and Dean followed Jody's police car across town in the Impala, parking beside her in the lot behind the station. They straightened their ties and adjusted their stiff jackets as Jody led them through the entrance.
"Morning, Gina." Jody greeted the middle-aged woman manning the front counter with a smile.
"Mornin', Jodes." She replied, midwestern accent clinging heavily to her words. "Who're these fellas?"
"More feds." Jody leaned over the counter and rolled her eyes so only Gina could see. "This is agent Plant and Page."
"Nice to meet ya." The woman greeted with a forced smile. "Your buddies are already here- commandeered the conference room again."
Jody gave her a short nod of appreciation. "Thanks, Gina." She led the guys around the counter and to the back of the station. There was a room abutting the back wall with every blind drawn tight- Jody led them straight to it and rapped sharply on the door.
"Agents?"
There was the muffled sound of someone moving on the other side, and then the door was being eased open. It stopped after about a foot, just wide enough for one man to fill the entire gap and block the view of the rest of the room.
"Hey there, sheriff! What can I do for ya?" The man greeted. He was about Sam and Dean's age, maybe slightly younger, with short cropped brown hair and dark green eyes that were lit up with a pleasant smile.
"Agent Tyler, this is Agent Plant and Page." Jody introduced the men standing behind her. "They're here to add some more weight to your investigation."
The man's eyes went wide for a fraction of a second before he schooled his features. "Nice to meet you." He glanced anxiously over his shoulder. "Uh, come in."
He let the door swing open fully and the three of them crowded into the room. There was a metal table pushed up against the far wall, with a man sitting at it, his back turned towards the room as he flipped through a large and ancient looking book.
"Agent, uh, Jones and I were just about to go through some of the case files. You're welcome to join us, Agents."
The man at the table stood and turned to address the group, but froze in place upon catching sight of Sam and Dean.
Dean swore under his breath, blood turning cold as he took in the sight of Cas- wearing a fitted navy blue suit, nicer than his former, sans trenchcoat and face sporting just a bit more stubble than usual. He looked tired, but good; the blue in his jacket bringing out the color of his eyes against his lightly tanned face. Dean felt a sudden rush of nausea, breathing going shallow as his lungs struggled to suck in air.
"Dean?" Jody grabbed his arm, looking up at him in concern.
Dean shook his head sharply, ignoring the urge to empty his stomach, and shrugged her off, forcing a deep inhale to calm his breathing.
"Cas?" Sam finally spoke, voice quiet in shock.
Jody looked between them in confusion. "Cas? As in Castiel?"
Sam nodded, stepping fully into the room and giving him a tentative smile. "Hey, man."
Cas tilted his head at Sam in acknowledgement, looking more than a little shell-shocked. "Hello, Sam." The corners of his lips attempted to turn up in a smile, but it came out as more of a grimace. His eyes flickered across the room before landing somewhere around Dean's forehead, unable to meet his eyes. "Dean."
"You know these guys, Cas?"
Cas blinked away the unfocused glaze in his eyes, coming back to his surroundings as he turned to to man beside him.
"Caleb-," He started, face falling into a somber frown as he gestured towards the brothers. "This is Sam and Dean. Winchester."
The man's eyes lit up immediately in recognition at the name. "Oh. Wow. Uh- it's nice to meet you guys." He held out his hand eagerly to each of them. "I've heard a lot about the Winchesters. Most hunters have."
"This is Caleb." Cas introduced, glancing nervously at the man beside him.
"You're a hunter?" Dean sounded purposefully skeptical as he gave his hand a rough shake, sizing up the man's appearance. His suit looked tailored and expensive, shoes shiny and obviously new.
"Sure am." He replied, grinning brightly.
Sam gave him a tight-lipped smile when he shook his hand. "Nice to meet you."
"Will someone please introduce me?" Jody spoke up impatiently from behind them, peering around Sam's shoulder. "I've only been waiting to meet Cas for like, ten years."
Sam chuckled as he stepped out of the way. "Cas, this is Jody Mills. Jody- Castiel."
Jody's eyes crinkled as she wrapped Cas up in friendly hug. "It's so nice to finally meet you in person."
"Yes- I can't believe I didn't make the connection between Sioux Falls and sheriff Mills." Cas replied, looking sheepish as he returned her hug.
"I'm sure you've had a lot on your mind." Jody gave him a consoling pat on the back before releasing him. She continued to stare up at him after they separated. "I knew there was something off about you two."
"Yeah, not real FBI." Caleb smirked, taking Jody's hand. "It's nice to meet you for real."
"Likewise." Jody replied.
"It's gotta be handy for hunter's to have connections in law enforcement." He commented.
"Yeah," Sam chuckled. "It's gotten us out of a tight spot once or twice."
Jody let out an exaggerated scoff. "Ha! I've saved these boys asses more than you'd care to know."
"I don't doubt it." Caleb winked charmingly at her and Sam and Dean swore they could make out the faintest blush riding high on her cheeks. He leaned back against the table, shifting his weight onto it and crossing his arms over his chest. "Cas and I caught wind of this case on our way through Wisconsin- figured we were close enough to swing by and check it out."
"Well, I think we can take it from here." Dean stated coldly, watching Caleb with a shrewd expression.
"We were here first, Dean." Cas argued, narrowing his tired eyes.
Dean's face was set like stone. "Look- Jody asked us to come here. This case looks serious, just let us take over."
"You don't think we can handle it." Cas voiced his unspoken sentiment. He shook his head when Dean leveled a carefully blank look at him. "You think that you and Sam are the only two hunters capable of working a case? Caleb and I have managed to save many people over the past month without your help."
"Wow," Dean pulled a face of mock surprise. "A couple of newbies got lucky on their first few hunts."
"I'm sorry, have you forgotten who you're talking to?" Cas snapped, face darkening dangerously. "I am billions of years old- I was a soldier in heaven and have more kills under my belt than the two of you could even begin to fathom. I think I can handle a simple shifter."
"Hunting is different and you know it." Dean spat, hands clenched into tight fists at his side and face reddening in anger. "You struggled with it even when you were at full strength, which we both know you're not now."
Cas faltered, running a hand through his hair in an instinctually human gesture.
"Whoa, whoa." Jody suddenly stepped between the two of them, widening the distance they had unintentionally closed in the heat of the moment. "I don't know what the hell is going on here, but I think you two need to take a breather." She ushered Dean across the room, nearly throwing him into the corner like a child condemned to time out.
"We don't need them here, Jody. Sam and I can take care of this on our own." Dean pleaded in a harsh whisper.
"What-," Jody glanced over her shoulder at the three men across the room. Sam was speaking animatedly to Cas and Caleb, looking apologetic. "I thought you two were friends? Did I miss something here?"
Dean crossed his arms defiantly. "It's complicated."
"Ah," Jody gave him a knowing smirk. "So you were being your typical emotionally repressed self and said some things you shouldn't have."
Dean blanched. "Well, that's- I- I mean-"
"Save it." She ordered. "How long have I known you, Dean Winchester?"
"Too damn long." He grumbled.
"Exactly. So I know when you're being a dumbass."
Dean opened his mouth to argue but Jody beat him to it. "Look- I think we could use all the help we can get, here. We're not sending them away."
Dean nodded reluctantly, recognizing that Jody wasn't about to back down.
"And if this just so happens to act a convenient catalyst to make you two do whatever you need to do to work through your shit- then all the better for all of us."
Dean bit his lip, eyes flashing to Cas across the room. Like hell that was going to happen.
"May want to start with an 'I'm sorry'." She offered, catching his eye and giving him a comforting smile. "Just a shot in the dark here- but I'm guessing you need to apologize."
Dean rolled his eyes and followed her back to the group.
"We're not leaving." Cas declared with a defiant look in his eyes. "If you're uncomfortable than I think that you should leave, Dean."
"I'm not uncomfortable." Dean grumbled, eyes cast towards the ground.
"Everything's all sorted." Jody declared, patting him consolingly on the shoulder.
"Great- so what have you guys got so far?" Sam shifted their focus, hoping the awkward tension still hanging in the air would evaporate once they got sucked into the case.
"Well," Caleb drawled, glancing guiltily around the group. "Not much, unfortunately."
Cas laid a comforting hand on Caleb's shoulder in a way that made Dean's eye twitch. "This case is proving a bit more difficult than we had anticipated."
Caleb flitted him an appreciative grin before snatching up a folder from the disorganized mess on the table and flipping it open.
"Obviously it's a shifter." He began, sliding out one of the security photos and gesturing to the silvery eyes of the creature. "But, I've never seen one shift so frequently unless they were being actively hunted and trying to evade capture."
Cas nodded, invading Caleb's space in an all too natural gesture as he extracted another paper from the folder. "There doesn't appear to be a pattern of similar murders anywhere nearby, and usually shifters don't stay in the same place for such a long span of time."
"Right," Caleb cocked his head to smirk at Cas' profile. "They're more of the ramblin' type."
"Okay- thanks for the shifter 101 discussion," Dean cut sarcastically- something about the way Cas and Caleb shared space was making him jittery and tense, "but is this really all you have?"
Caleb shifted nervously under Dean's scrutiny. "Hey, man, we just got here two days ago. Spent most of the first collectin' all this information," he gestured over the table littered with papers, "and yesterday we interviewed the victims wives, but-"
"They were understandably inconsolable." Cas finished. "We couldn't get much out of them."
"Have you checked out anything with the sewers?" Sam questioned.
Caleb shook his head. "Hadn't gotten 'round to it yet."
"Well, someone should start there."
"I'll take it." Jody announced. "Claire and I can do it- if you guys don't mind. I just- I know she wants to be involved in the case but I can't bring her here and bringing her along to interviews just brings up questions about her age. Crawling around in the sewers is probably the best I can offer her on this one, I think."
"Alright, then the four of us should split up to do potential witness interviews," Sam proposed. "We can talk to the bartenders and other staff at each of the bars, figure out if they might have seen something strange on the night the victims were murdered. Cas- you want to come along with me and we can send these two off?"
Cas looked up in surprise at the suggestion. "Of course, Sam. I would love to partner with you."
Dean tugged his brother away from the group, glaring. "What the hell, man?" He whispered, quiet enough so Caleb and Cas couldn't hear.
"What? I miss Cas. He's my friend and I haven't seen him in almost two months."
"So you're gonna leave me with the meathead?" Dean hissed, casting a distrusting look at Caleb's back.
Sam followed his gaze and let out a weary sigh. "He seems nice enough, Dean. Obviously Cas trusts him if they've been working together. I think you'll be fine."
"Yeah, cause Cas has a track record of putting his faith in the most trustworthy people."
Sam simply quirked his eyebrows at his brother's griping and left his side to converse with Cas. Caleb quickly took his place, fidgeting but determined not to let Dean unnerve him. He was finding the man to be much more intimidating than he had anticipated, but wasn't about to let it deter him. The sparse details he had been able to coax out of Cas about the Winchesters had painted them in nothing but the best light- everyone knew they were heroes, the good guys, so he was sure there was something warm under the cold exterior he seemed to be exuding.
Hey, so- you and me, huh?"
Dean gave him a tight nod and tugged at the hem of his suit jacket, giving no further response.
"Listen-" Caleb tried again, face open and honest. "I know you don't know me from Adam, but Cas and I have been working together for awhile now- I promise you can trust me."
Dean clenched his jaw, felt a muscle in his neck spasm. "How long ago did you, uh, meet?"
Caleb thought for a moment. "Bout a month ago, give or take. Dumbass nearly got his head ripped off by a wendigo down in the Ozarks. Lucky for him, I was working the same case. My family owns a cabin there- I brought him back to it and patched him up." Caleb cast a sideways glance at Cas that made Dean's stomach drop uncomfortably. "Then we just kind stuck together, I guess. You know he doesn't talk much about you guys? I've tried to get him to tell me some stories about the famous Winchesters but…" Caleb shrugged, smiling to himself. "He's kinda a quiet guy anyway, huh?"
Dean bit the inside of his cheek, hard. "Yeah."
An awkward silence fell over them for a beat, before Sam approached. "You guys are taking the second vic." He told them, handing Dean a folder containing the victim's profile. "Cas and I will take the first. Whoever finishes first can do the third."
"Yes, sir." Dean saluted sarcastically.
"You guys can take Bess." Caleb pulled a set of keys from his back pocket and tossed them to Cas, who caught them deftly in one hand. "Cas knows how to handle her."
"Bess?" Dean snickered as they began walking through the station.
"Hey, no laughing. Bess is my car- she's a special lady."
Dean shook his head and pulled his own keys out as they exited the building and rounded the parking lot. "Not as special as mine."
Caleb's eyes widened as they approached the Impala.
"This is your car?" His voice was filled with awe as he approached it. He ran a hand over the glossy black hood and let out a low whistle. "She's beautiful."
He withdrew his hand and frowned down at his palm.
"What?" Dean questioned the look on his face, feeling acutely self conscious.
Caleb brushed his hand off on his pants, leaving a dusty smudge on the expensive fabric. "Nothin'- she's just a little dirty, is all. I get it though," He continued in a rush at the embarrassed look on Dean's face. "I don't always have time to wash Bess like I'd wanna when I'm on the road."
Dean felt a creeping sense of shame as he crawled into the car and slammed his door closed. This only intensified when Caleb followed after him, having to brush a bit of accumulated garbage off his seat before he got in. Dean blushed hotly and grabbed a plastic sac off the floor, hastily shoving the various wrappers and empty cans littering the car into it.
Caleb helped, grabbing what he could reach and not saying a word. Dean avoided his gaze, couldn't believe he was letting someone see his baby in such a state. When Cas left, it was like everything in Dean's life had been muted. Colors, sounds, feelings; they didn't have the same impact and Dean had let his normal routines slip away in favor of laying in bed for days on end. Where he would normally work on his car or demand to go out on hunt after hunt when feeling emotionally unstable, this time he had just been numb. Incapable. Completely and utterly empty. Strangely, even just being in the same physical proximity of Cas had managed to turn the sound back on. Like he was deaf and now that he could hear again he was beginning to feel it all so much harder. The sudden and disturbing renewed sense of awareness pressing down around him like thick fog. Where he had felt nothing before he was slowly becoming aware of a dull and empty ache in his chest. Of how angry and despondent and ashamed he was.
"You okay, man?" Caleb gathered the plastic bag, now stuffed full of trash, from his hands and set it in the back seat. Dean blinked slowly, coming out of his thoughts.
"Uh- yeah, I'm fine." He shifted back in his seat and started up the car. He knew there would be no shoving these feelings down, not this time. He had to address why he said the things he did to Cas- because he couldn't go back to living the way he was.
Dean glanced around his car as he pulled out of the parking lot. Baby deserved better than the way he had treated her lately. Sam too. And definitely Cas.
The only interesting information they were able to squeeze out of the staff at the bar was that the suspect had been with another person until they left with the victim. A woman, who they had come there with and spent the entire night by their side. Apparently, the two of them had approached the victim, together, just before the man left with him. None of them seemed to be able to account for where the woman had disappeared to. Dean had shown them the image from the third security camera, just to rule out that it wasn't the same woman. According to their description, she had short blond hair and sharp features, but the woman in the picture had long black hair and a soft, round face.
Dean had texted Sam when they were finished, only to learn that the two of them had already moved on to the last bar.
"Sam and Cas beat us." Dean commented, tapping the steering wheel of his car in thought. What were they supposed to do while they waited for them to finish up?
"Uh-" Caleb started, looking sheepish. "You hungry?"
Besides the meal Jody had served them last night and breakfast this morning, Dean hadn't eaten properly for a long time. At the mention of food, he became suddenly aware of how hungry he really was.
"You like burgers?" Dean asked as he started the car. Caleb nodded enthusiastically. There was a diner in Sioux Falls that was one of Dean's favorites, a place that he tried to visit every time they happened up that way. A place with burgers that were stuffed with cheese and dripped hot grease. His mouth filled with saliva just thinking about it. Now that he had been snapped out of the inhuman trance he had been stuck in since Cas had left, he was ready to grieve in his normal fashion; with a burger in one hand and a bottle of jack in the other.
He shot a quick text to Sam, telling him where to meet them, and backed out of his parking spot. By the time they pulled up to the diner, the silence around them had grown thick. Dean was assaulted with the itching sensation that Caleb desperately wanted to say something, so he wasn't surprised when he cleared his throat after they parked, turning in his seat to face him.
"So- uh." Caleb started, rubbing the back of his neck nervously. Dean shut off the car, hand hovering over the keys stuck in the ignition. "You know Cas pretty well, right?"
Dean swallowed thickly and dropped his hand back to his lap.
"I mean-" Caleb sat up, stealing himself. "You've known each other for a long time- I know that. Cas won't say much about you but I've heard certain things."
Dean twitched, the knee jerk reaction to defend his definitely-not-more-than-friendship with Cas, but his next words silenced him entirely.
"Do you know if- I mean, has he ever…" Caleb took took a shaky breath before letting it all out in a rush. "Do you think I could have a shot with him?"
"What? Dean snapped, hands unconsciously curling into tight fists, fingernails scraping along the scratchy polyester of his slacks.
"Uh…" Caleb stammered, thrown off by the suddenly tense line of Dean's body. "I mean, he's like- whoa- but he's I don't know, kinda hard to read? Sotic. Just thought you might have a little more insight?"
Dean snapped the keys out of the ignition and threw his door open in one swift movement. "Let's just focus on the case for now," he tried to keep his voice even, knew he was failing miserably. "Try to keep it in your pants till then."
"Right," Caleb called, stumbling out of the car after him. "Right, sorry."
Dean let the anger simmer under his skin, making him itchy and irritated as a hostess led them to a table near the back of the diner, next to a window facing the parking lot. He knew he had no right- that his anger at Caleb was misplaced and should be directed nowhere but at himself. It was his own fault that Cas had left. That he had found solace in someone else. But that didn't stop the irrational anger from roiling in his gut like a hellhound; gnashing and shredding him apart.
Dean took a deep breath as he fiddled with the napkin dispenser, pushing down the emotions that were threatening to pour out of him like steam from a kettle. Now wasn't the time, now they had a case to work on, a monster to hunt. His stupid feelings could be dealt with later.
He found a distraction in the form of a shiny, red car easing into the parking lot of the diner.
"Holy shit," he breathed, eyes going wide and impressed. "Is that a goddamn Maserati? Who the hell around here could afford one of those?"
Caleb snapped his head around, face turning pink. "Uh, yeah that's-"
Dean's mouth fell open as he watched Sam and Cas exit the car.
"Mine."
Dean's eyes flitted between the car and Caleb, over his perfectly tailored suit and holy shit was that a Rolex on his wrist? How had he missed that gold monstrosity?
"Wh- how-" Dean stammered. "How the hell do you have a fucking Gran Tourismo? Who the hell are you?" He narrowed his eyes accusingly at him, half-raised from his seat.
Caleb spread his hands over the table like he was attempting to calm a wild animal. A bell chimed at the entrance as Sam and Cas walked in.
"Whoa!" Sam exclaimed, rushing over to them as he read his brother's angry and confused body language. "What's going on?"
Dean spluttered, unable to come out with a coherent sentence.
"Dean saw my car." Caleb explained, looking embarrassed.
"And this is your reaction?" Sam shoved him over in the booth so he could sit next to him. "I thought you'd cream your pants, not try to kill the guy."
Cas slid into the spot opposite them, next to Caleb who gave him a smile in greeting.
"Nobody else is freaked out by this?" Dean deflated slightly at the calm atmosphere Sam and Cas brought with them.
Sam rolled his eyes. "Caleb's parents were wealthy entrepreneurs until-"
"They were killed by a nest of vamps after their car broke down at night driving through some back road in Indiana." Caleb finished, face carefully blank. "I was a trust fund baby- never had any real responsibilities, until they died. I don't have any siblings and both of my parents were only children. My grandparents died when I was too young to remember. So- I have money, but not much else." He let a self-deprecating smile slide over his face before shrugging and adding in a sarcastic tone. "It funds my eternal search for revenge, at least."
Cas gave him a look dripping with empathy and shifted next to him, drawing a little closer and patting his knee consolingly under the table.
"I'm fairly new to all of this." He admitted after a beat, tearing his eyes away from Cas. "Luckily Cas has been able to give me some pointers." He bumped their shoulders together and Cas blushed faintly, just a quick rush of pink tinting his cheeks.
Dean hung his head in contrition, feeling like a complete ass. "I'm sorry, man. I-"
"Don't worry about it," Caleb brushed off the apology with a wave of his hand. "You didn't know. And, from what I gather, this can be a pretty untrustworthy business… it's understandable to be wary of people."
This only made Dean feel worse, his stomach clenching in guilt. Caleb really did seem to be a good guy, much to his complete consternation.
"No, really." Dean scrubbed a hand over his face. "I'm sorry. I was being an ass."
Caleb gave him a quick smile and they were auspiciously interrupted by the waitress appearing to take their order.
"I'll have the juicy lucy, with extra bacon on it and the loaded cheese fries." Dean recited, handing her his menu without even looking. Sam raised his eyebrows at his order but didn't comment, ordering a chicken caesar salad with light dressing. Caleb ordered a cheeseburger with extra onions and Cas a turkey club. The waitress quickly jotted it all down before disappearing again.
Their conversation quickly turned to the case and the information they learned during their interviews. Sam and Cas had also discovered that, though the suspect's appearance had changed from scene to scene, each had also been accompanied by a woman with short blond hair.
"So- two shifters?" Dean proposed, dropping his voice to a whisper as their food arrived.
"But only one is pulling victims." Caleb thought allowed, squirting ketchup onto his plate.
"And the other one is there for, what, emotional support?" Dean gripped his thick burger with both hands, watching as the cheese in the middle oozed out with the slightest pressure.
"Maybe we shouldn't assume the woman is a shifter." Cas pointed out.
"That's true." Caleb brandished his steak knife at him with a flourish before using it to cut his burger in half. His hand slipped clumsily halfway through, causing the knife to leave a long, but shallow, cut against his palm.
"Shit." He cursed, grabbing a napkin and holding it to his hand.
"Here." Cas gestured for Caleb to let him see his hand.
"Nah, it's fine." Caleb insisted, it really wasn't a bad cut, just deep enough to bleed through the napkin but it was already tapering off.
"I can heal it," Cas suggested. "It's small, it wouldn't take much."
Caleb angled himself away, grabbing a second napkin to catch another, much smaller, gush of blood. "Like hell. It's just a knick, man. You're not wasting what little juice you have left on it."
Cas huffed in exasperation, but respected Caleb's wishes. "There are bandages and antibacterial ointment in the car."
"I know, I was there when you bought it all." Caleb replied in a teasing tone. "Look- it's already done bleeding." He removed the napkin to reveal little more than a clean, white line where his skin was slightly separated. "No need for a band aid, heavenly or otherwise. Now let me eat my burger in peace."
Dean felt slightly dizzy as he tried to focus on his food. That little domestic display of bullshit was enough to churn his stomach, but he pushed through it; though he did squeeze his burger so viciously that all of the cheese had exploded out. Cas obviously cared about this guy and Dean had already been subjected to Caleb's thoughts on the matter. As much as he tried to push the idea from his mind, it was becoming steadily transparent that Cas might actually have real feelings for the guy and Dean- well, he honestly wasn't sure to do with that beyond the fact that it made him feel like he couldn't fucking breath.
"So-" Sam started, again reading his brother's body language in a way no other person was capable, and producing a swift subject change. "What's our next step?"
"I think I already have an idea about that." Caleb replied around a mouthful of frenchfries. "First, we should probably check in with your friend Jody and see if she found anything."
Sam and Dean nodded in agreement, Sam checking his phone briefly to make sure she hadn't already called, saying, "Her and Claire should be done soon."
"Great- then I think tonight we should stake out the only other bar in town. It only makes sense that that's probably where they'll be looking for a victim and it's been a few days since the last- they could very well be planning on taking another tonight."
"That sounds reasonable." Cas responded.
"Yeah, and it's not like we have much else to go off of. Might as well stake it out at least to make sure nobody else gets killed. And if nothing happens I guess we'll have to hit some more research tomorrow." Sam agreed.
They met up with Jody and Claire after finishing lunch, spending most of the afternoon holed up in her living room, pouring over case files. By the time night hit, Dean couldn't wait to get out of the house and down more than a few fingers of Jack- had been itching for it all day, really. Cas and Caleb had left before them to stop back at their motel to change into more casual attire, planning to just meet them out. Sam and Dean had done the same, happy to get out of their stuffy suits and into faded jeans. After a brief argument with Claire where she demanded they let her tag along, Jody conceded to stay behind with her and they promised to call if anything happened.
Sam and Dean got to the bar first, perching on a couple of stools in the corner that easily offered a view of the whole place. Dean downed a shot at the bar and carried two bottles of beer back to their table.
"You seem… better." Sam commented idly as he scanned the crowded room.
Dean made a noncommittal noise and took a long pull from his bottle. Objectively, he was better than before. He just still wasn't anywhere near fine.
Sam looked like he wanted to say more, but Cas and Caleb had just entered and spotted them. Dean wondered if Caleb had supplied Cas with his new wardrobe- his clothes were definitely new and bought to fit him correctly; a soft grey henley gently hugging the firm muscles in his biceps and chest as he shrugged off a thick jacket and joined them at their table. It wasn't often that Dean was subjected to Cas' body in so few layers and it always served to remind him just how thick he was; his thighs and arms were not the slight, fragile things that his baggy trench coat would lend one to believe. No- Cas was definitely fit. He had to drag his eyes away from the sight of his back turned to him at the bar as he ordered drinks for himself and Caleb because shit Dean did not need to know how good he looked in a pair of pants that fit him like that.
He cleared his throat a little too loudly, gaining a concerned look from Caleb as he shifted uncomfortably on his stool. He was going to need much more alcohol soon.
Dean remembered the shabby clothes Cas had been forced to wear when he was human; when he was Steve making slushies and mopping tiled floors in Rexford. This thought just made him wonder over the current state of Cas' grace. He surreptitiously looked him over; despite the dark shadows under his eyes, he looked good. Obviously not at full strength, hence the change of clothes, but he had offered to heal Caleb earlier.
Cas was sliding onto the bar stool across from him now, handing Caleb a beer while a glass of whiskey and coke sweated in hand. He had rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, just bunched up around his elbows, and his forearm flexed as he pinched the two small straws against the rim and took a drink straight from the glass. Dean watched his exposed throat work it down, unconsciously licking his lips. Cas caught his eye when he lowered his drink but looked away quickly. That was something Dean wasn't used to- Cas always held his gaze, steady and intense like he was just trying to make Dean squirm.
"So, what exactly should we be looking for, here?" Caleb asked, and Dean realized he had been watching, too. His eyes were flickering over Cas' face, lingering on his lips, and he had angled his seat so he was leaned a bit too close to him, their sides almost touching.
"It's unfortunate this establishment doesn't have security cameras installed." Cas sighed, looking around the room. "The description of the woman seemed to be fairly consistent between the witnesses. Perhaps we should keep a lookout for a woman with blond hair, probably accompanied by a man."
Dean raised an eyebrow and glanced purposefully around the room. "Okay, so like a third of the people here?"
"How about those two?" Sam tipped his head towards a couple near the back of the bar, lingering near the wall. One was a tall man with a shaved head, the other was a woman with blond hair that just brushed her shoulders and a nose that came to point like a beak. They weren't talking to each other, just standing near the wall and watching the crowd in silence. There was definitely something unsettling about them.
"We'll keep an eye on them." Dean replied, swallowing down the rest of his beer in one long gulp and kicking his brother under the table. "Quit staring, geez."
Sam leveled him with a look but was quickly distracted. "They're moving."
In unison, the two began moving towards a cornered off section featuring a handful of shabby pool tables.
"Hey, Cas," Caleb started, knocking his shoulder into him. "You ever play pool?"
Cas' eyes shot to Dean before looking down at the table. Once, a long time ago, Dean had tried to teach Cas how to play pool. At the time he had thought it was a good idea, but in practice it proved much too difficult for Dean to keep his hands to himself during his demonstration. He had not been fully prepared for what watching Cas bend over a table was going to do to him. So, he made up a lame excuse fifteen minutes in and had never returned to the notion.
"Not really." Cas replied.
"Great- I'll teach you!" Caleb decided, slapping his hands on the table. "And, uh, we'll be able to watch over them more closely from over there." He added as an afterthought.
Caleb hopped down from his stool and wrapped a hand around Cas' arm, tugging him across the bar. There was an unoccupied table in the far corner, diagonal from where the couple had set up- Caleb marched Cas over to it and began racking the balls.
Dean's grip was becoming dangerously tight around his empty bottle as he watched Cas throw his head back in laughter in response to something Caleb was saying. He hadn't seen Cas laugh like that in… maybe ever.
"What's up with that guy, anyway?" Dean grumbled, mostly to himself. It was unfair, really. Caleb had no idea that Dean was this emotionally stunted mess of a person who obviously couldn't stand to watch Cas be happy if it wasn't with him. He hadn't been expecting this ridiculous surge of… jealousy- damnit he was fucking jealous- like some kind of stupid teenager.
"Who? Caleb?" Sam questioned, watching the two in the corner. "He seems nice… kinda reminds me of someone." He said pointedly, smiling at some inside joke that Dean couldn't quite parse out.
Dean grimaced, trying to keep his focus on the suspects he was supposed to be watching, but his eyes kept wandering back to Cas and Caleb. They were circling the table as Caleb explained something to him, Cas watching intently and soaking up every word, no doubt committing it to his near-photographic memory.
Sam chuckled as watched his brother grow more agitated. "What's the matter, Dean? Are you upset Cas had made new… friends?" He emphasized the last word purposefully.
"No." Dean spoke through clenched teeth. "Couldn't care less."
"Oh, for god's sake, Dean." Sam shook his head in exasperation. "You can be so goddamn thick headed sometimes."
"You've been a fucking mess since Cas left, Dean." Sam rushed out the words as if afraid that finally saying them aloud, that exact order, might cause a chasm to open and swallow them both whole. "You're different, now. Even just being around him again-" Sam cut himself short, taking a deep breath and looking at his brother with wide and pleading eyes. "Look- you fucked up here, Dean. The only way this is going to get fixed is if you fix it."
Dean's entire body went slack, as if all of the tension he had been holding was locked up in Sam's words and as he spoke them the strings cut and he slumped over the bar, holding his head in his hands and groaning.
"How?"
Sam sighed, watching Cas and Caleb in the corner. "I don't know, Dean. That's something you have to figure out. But- you might want to do it sooner rather than later."
Dean followed Sam's gaze, his blood turning cold. Caleb had his hands all over Cas; one sliding around his hip and the other holding his forearm as he bent over the pool table. It was clearly under the guise of showing him how to line up a shot, but it looked like they were paying little attention to any actual technique. Cas was shifting beneath him, face faintly red and hair messier than usual and Caleb had a wide grin plastered on his face as he slid his hand slowly down Cas' arm, snaking his fingers around his hand and running his thumb over his knuckles. Cas' hand twitched, but he didn't move away. It was damn near pornographic, really, and Dean felt his stomach churn.
"Guy's forward, I'll give him that." Sam commented airily as he watched them.
"He's a jackass." Dean spat, unreasonable in his misplaced anger and stupid fucking jealousy.
"At least he's not repressed." Sam deadpanned, giving his brother a hard look- but he was still too preoccupied watching the two across the room.
Caleb's right hand was tracing the edge of Cas' shirt now, right at the hem where it was riding up over his waist slightly, fingers just brushing his bare skin and Cas shifted unconsciously closer. He looked like he was soaking in the attention, like he starved for touch and incredulous that someone actually wanted to touch him. His face was getting redder, mouth permanently parted and lips shimmering wet from where he kept flicking his tongue over them.
Caleb was guiding the cue through his hands now, just a slow slide of it through the tunnel of their hands, as he absently told him to focus on the ball. His own focus was on the sharp juncture of Cas' jawline as he made the shot which, surprisingly, turned out neat and sunk two balls. Cas' face split into a pleased smile and he stood up to hand Caleb the cue. Caleb didn't move out of his space at the motion though, bringing Cas' back nearly flush with his front. Instead he slipped his fingers just under his shirt and tugged gently at his hip as Cas made to move out of his space, pulling him closer instead. Caleb hooked his chin over Cas' shoulder, lips brushing the shell of his ear as he whispered something to him with a smirk.
Cas flushed a bright, brilliant red and bit his lip.
Dean was halfway out of his seat before he even knew what he was doing, the blood rushing in his ears overpowering the sound of the crowd around him. Before he could move any further, however, Cas suddenly disentangled himself, nodding towards the couple they were supposed to be keeping an eye on. They had dropped their pool cues in tandem, both moving through the crowd with purpose.
Without hesitation, Sam shot up from his seat and tracked their movements through the crowd, quickly disappearing between the closely packed bodies. Dean spun around to find Cas again, but him and Caleb were nowhere to be found either.
"Shit," he stood, head spinning as he stood glued to the spot, trying to figure out which way to turn.
"They're gone." Cas stated, voice laced with apprehension and appearing as if from nowhere. Dean ground his teeth at his still slightly flushed and out of breath appearance. His shirt was hitched up over his hip on the right side from where Caleb had been groping him, revealing a sliver of his warding tattoo that made Dean's fingers itch. "Caleb followed after them and before I could- I just- I lost sight of them."
"Right- Sam shot off after them too." Dean replied, looking around the room again as if they would suddenly reappear. "Come on."
Dean pushed through the crowd, Cas following closely behind him. They searched every corner of the place before sweeping around the outside, but it was clear they left the immediate area.
"Let me-" Cas dug his phone from the front pocket of his jeans. "I'll call Caleb."
Dean nodded and retrieved his own phone, dialing Sam. He answered in two rings.
"We're tracking them." His voice came out in hushed pants.
"Where are you?" Dean demanded, a rush of relief flowing over him.
"They took off through the back exit and booked it into the wooded area outside." Dean could hear the muffled sound of their footsteps through fallen leaves as background noise.
"Where? We'll meet you."
"I don't know, we're in the middle of the woods." Sam snapped, voice rising incrementally. "Why don't you guys go back to Cas and Caleb's motel room- we can meet there or call you if something happens."
"Like hell-" Dean started, but the beep of the call ending cut him off. He stared down at the black screen with a scowl.
"What did Sam say?" Cas demanded, looking concerned. "Caleb didn't answer. Are they together?"
Dean's jaw twitched at the anxiety in his voice. "They're fine. Tracking that couple through the woods. Said they'll meet us back at your motel."
"Right." Cas fidgeted nervously with the hem of his shirt, pulling it down against the cold bite of the wind. "I left my coat inside."
Dean waited in the car while Cas retrieved his jacket, turning the heater on full blast. The gentle purr of the engine idling was a calm contrast to the way his stomach was knotted and roiling in anxiety at the prospect of spending any amount of time alone with Cas.
Cas directed him to his motel with nothing beyond a quiet 'let here', 'turn right', 'at the end of this road'. His leg was bouncing distractedly against the seat, hands rubbing together in an attempt to warm them.
He led them up a flight of stairs and down a narrow hallway painted an annoyingly bright shade of yellow. The place was nicer than what Sam and Dean were used to, the door to their room requiring a keycard to unlock. Cas waited for little light to blink green before pushing the door open and letting them inside.
The room was spacious and sparsely decorated. A small flatscreen television sat on a wide faced dresser in front of a small, half wall that separated the kitchenette. There was a round table with three rolling chairs situated around it in the far corner and a wide window that overlooked the parking lot. Dean didn't notice much beyond the sight of a solitary bed pushed against the left wall, covers thrown around it in disarray. He felt like his heart full-on stopped before pattering back on at a sluggish pace. He tried to tell himself that Cas obviously still had enough grace that he didn't need to sleep. One bed was entirely practical if only one of them needed to sleep.
"Dean, are you okay?" Cas turned away from the small heater beside the table he had been fiddling with, face scrunched up in concern as he took in Dean's stiff posture, eyes gone wide and little wild. Cas shuffled a step closer, arm half-raised as if to set his hand on his forehead in a familiar gesture but he remembered himself; stepped back and cast his eyes towards the ground.
Dean shook his head and collapsed into one of the rolling chairs. "Cas-" He started, voice breaking embarrassingly around his name.
"What?" Cas did come closer this time, pulling out another chair and scooting it around the table, stopping a respectable distance away and folding his hands politely in his lap.
Dean ran a shaking hand through his hair, breathing through his nose in an attempt to calm down. "Ah- are-" he stuttered and swore, feeling like a complete idiot. "Are you and Caleb…?" He couldn't get the rest out, just let his eyes flicker towards the single bed and back to Cas.
Cas clicked his teeth together, jaw setting closed with snap. "I don't see how that's any of your business."
Dean made a pathetic noise, somewhere between hysterical laughter and a desperate sob. "No- I know. I just… need to know." No matter that it really was unlikely… unless Caleb had been screwing with him in the car earlier. Dean couldn't control the irrationality of this jealousy. He needed to hear Cas say it.
"Why?" Cas stood abruptly, towering over Dean. He swore he could feel the static crack of his grace simmering around him. "Why does it matter to you, Dean?"
"It just… does." Dean replied, voice nearly a whisper as he looked up at him, eyes pleading more than he was capable with words.
Cas let out an angry huff and paced to the back of the room, glancing at the bed. "No." He shot, back turned to Dean. "I still don't need to sleep. For the most part."
Dean let out a shaky breath. "Oh- okay, that's-"
"You," Cas spun around sharply, pinning Dean against his chair with the sheer amount of anger and hurt etched onto his face. But as he looked at Dean it fell, crumbling into desolation and he looked away, voice broken and confused as he muttered, "Why?"
Dean stood up, legs unsteady as he crossed the room. He stopped a foot in front of him, fingernails digging into the palms of his hands with the effort it took not to reach out to him. "Cause I'm a fucking idiot, that's why."
Cas let out a gravely chuckle that lacked any real humor, just a hollow and empty sound. "I already knew that, Dean." He dropped his head, speaking to the floor. "You know that I would have done anything for you- that I have on more than one occasion. You know that I- I-" he stammered, lips trembling. "How I feel." Was the best he could push out and he sighed around the implication, knowing this would flay him even worse than before. "You have to know, Dean. And I've never asked for you to reciprocate, I've hardly ever asked you for anything. I've only tried to make myself useful to you and your brother, only tried to do the right thing. And I know I've messed up, more than once, but those were mistakes," Cas' voice broke and he took a breath. "All I wanted was a family that understood me. That didn't look at me as the defective and broken toy that my brother's and sister's do. And I thought- I thought that you and Sam… but I was wrong. I-"
Dean sprung across the foot between them, fisting his hands into Cas' shirt and dragging him close. "Stop. Cas, just stop."
Cas shut his mouth, looking at Dean in surprise.
Dean blinked away the wetness in his eyes, hands clenching around the soft material of Cas' shirt. "It ain't about you, Cas." His voice was quiet. "I'm just- I-" He dropped his hands but didn't move away. "With everything that happened, you can't tell me you're one-hundred percent sure that this-" He made a vague gesture between the two of them. "That the way you feel, that it- it wasn't orchestrated by Chuck."
"I told you-" Cas started, searching Dean's face. "I told you this was real. Why don't you want to believe me?"
"You don't think I want to believe you?" Dean demanded, anger creeping into his words. "I want to believe you more than anything, but I can't. That's the fucking problem."
"So what do you want, Dean?" Cas' face turned stormy again. "You can't stand to have me around, but you don't want me out on my own, making new acquaintances?"
Dean scoffed at the word. "Yeah, you make some really interesting acquaintances."
Cas stepped back, letting out a groan of frustration and threading his hands through his hair. "I can't do this, Dean. This is why I left- I don't know how many more ways to tell you, what else I can do to make you see what you mean to me. If you can't accept that- that what I feel for you is real- Dean, I can't keep doing this to myself. It's fucking killing me."
"Yeah, you seemed real broken up about it an hour ago, when he had his fucking hands all over you."
Cas' face darkened and he took a slow, intimidating step forward. Dean's back hit the wall with a soft thud as he moved away. "Caleb is kind and pure and has helped me this past morth more you care to know." His voice was low, just a soft rumble as he inched even closer, placing one hand against the wall by Dean's shoulder. Dean's heart rate shot up, body heating reflexively at the proximity of Cas and the dangerous glint in his eyes. "But he could never," Cas moved his other hand to box Dean completely against the wall. He licked his lips, eyes flashing with hesitancy like he knew what he was doing was a huge risk, but it was his last desperate ploy; like clinging to the edge of a lifeboat in stormy waters. His resolve cemented suddenly and he shifted a final few inches closer, solidly pressing their bodies together from hip to shoulder as he whispered, "Never make me feel like this."
Dean gasped, breath rushing out in heady pants against Cas' mouth. "Cas."
Cas paused reluctantly, the remaining space between them feeling like an abyss. He couldn't bring himself to make that final leap. "Does this feel real?" He whispered against him, voice desperate, craving the reassurance of his answer.
Dean let out a sound like a whimper from the back of his throat, internally fighting against himself even as arched closer to him. He could feel him, hot and hard against his hip, and he knew Cas could feel the same from him. There was no denying it, and Cas wasn't leaving any room for him to run. And still, he was trying to fight it. Like after all this time it was the only response ingrained in him. Cas had stripped himself raw in front of him, in a way that no person ever had, and he was still denying this? Dean struggled to collect his thoughts, racing around themselves in his head. Why was he so intent on pushing this away? One of Cas' hands had slipped from the wall and under his jacket, just holding his side and rubbing a soothing circle with his thumb, and Dean felt like he was on fire. Completely lit up from the inside out and he had never experienced anything that had felt more real than this.
"Yeah, Cas." He finally breathed, leaving no room for regret or doubt as he surged forward, pressing their lips together.
Cas pressed back just as hard, pushing Dean further into the wall as he dragged a hand up his chest to curl lightly around his neck. He slotted one leg in between Dean's, causing him to detach from the kiss as his head hit the wall.
"Fuck, Cas." He groaned, looking down at him heavy-lidded eyes, chest heaving as he tried to control his breathing. Cas' eyes were dark, hardly a hint of blue left ringing his irises and a flush was riding high on his cheeks. Dean was fairly certain he had never seen anything hotter in his entire fucking life.
Cas was edging forward, eager to continue, when the sound of people outside the door made them shoot away from each other. Not that that did anything to cover up what they had been doing, but Dean was pretty sure his brother wouldn't appreciate walking into a sight like that.
"Woah," Caleb exclaimed, eyes going wide as he took in the sight of them, red faced and breathing heavy. Sam peeked around his shoulder and gasped dramatically.
"Uh, are we… interrupting something?" Caleb was frozen in place, door swung wide as Sam crowded in beside him.
"Kind of." Dean grumbled, reaching down to surreptitiously adjust himself, at the same time as Cas said, "No." They shared a heated look and separated further, standing awkwardly across the room.
Caleb let out a short sigh before plastering on a tight smile. "Well," He cleared his throat, holding up a small, velvet-red pouch tied with twine and strange symbols etched into it. "We tracked them through the woods… lost 'em, but one of them dropped this."
"Is that?" Dean stepped forward, taking it from him and holding it in his palm.
"A hex bag, yeah." Sam confirmed, looking altogether too giddy. "So," He glanced quickly between Cas and Dean, who were purposefully avoiding the other's eyes.
"Not now, Sam." Dean muttered, pressing the pouch into his brother's hand and giving him a look.
"Right." Sam cleared his throat but couldn't get rid of the shit-eating grin on his face. "So- looks like the shifter has a witch friend."
"This case just keeps getting weirder and weirder." Dean commented, shaking his head.
"It kind of makes sense." Cas piped up, shrugging. "Witches are kind of known as contract-for-hire within the supernatural community. Maybe she's working a spell for him- he's doing all the heavy lifting with the sacrifices while she harnesses the magic."
"Okay- so what kind of spell are they trying to cast?" Caleb questioned.
"Yeah- no idea. But," Sam replied, lips twitching into a smirk. "If there's a witch involved that could make this a bit easier for us."
"Why?" Cas asked, head tilted in intrigue.
"You know how I've been studying some of- Rowena's," he faltered around the name, face falling, "old books on witchcraft?" Dean nodded. "Well- there's a spell I've been working on that can track witches, as long as they're within a fifty-mile radius."
"Perfect!" Dean exclaimed, rubbing his hands together. "What all do you need?"
"Nothing too extravagant- I'm sure Jody has most of it and the rest we can pick up."
"Alright, let's get moving, then." Dean grinned at his brother and looked to Cas expectantly.
"You guys go ahead," Cas started, catching Caleb's eye and frowning. "We'll be along in a bit."
"Uh, no." Dean stated firmly, casting an anxious glance at the two of them.
"I'd just like to talk to Caleb for a moment, Dean. Please." Cas implored.
Dean shook his head but Sam grabbed onto the sleeve of his jacket and began tugging him out of the room. "Oh for the love of- come on, Dean! We'll meet you guys at Jody's in about an hour?"
"Thank you, Sam." Cas called after them as they disappeared around the corner, Dean stuttering protests in their wake.
He turned to Caleb with an anxious smile. "So-" He started, but Caleb put up a hand to silence him.
"It's cool, man." He shrugged, looking a little sad but understanding. "I get it. I figured there must be someone with the way you were when we first met… no one is that melancholy over losing a buddy."
Cas let out a sad chuckle, rubbing a hand over his face. "Yeah, I suppose I was pretty transparent."
"I mean, I didn't know for sure, but… he got pretty weird when I was asking about you earlier. I don't know, I guess I started putting the pieces together but I didn't really want to believe it. You're just so…" He paused, looking Cas up and down and licking his lips unconsciously. "But- too little too late, I guess, huh?"
Cas stepped forward and wrapped his friend in a tight hug. "Thank you so much, for everything." He spoke into his shoulder, feeling tears welling up in his eyes that he rapidly blinked away. Caleb patted his back. "I don't know what I would have done if we hadn't met. I truly owe you so much."
Caleb leaned back, smirking. "Don't mention it, Cas. You're a good friend."
"We'll see each other again, right?" Cas stepped away to hold him at arm's length, fixing him with a serious expression.
Caleb shrugged. "Yeah, you know. I'm always around." Caleb flashed him a grin that reminded him so much of Dean, Cas' heart clenched.
"Yeah, I know."
"Take care of yourself, Cas." He looked at him earnestly. "And I- I just hope he's worthy. You know- cause you're like, so fucking great, Cas. Don't let him hurt you again, okay?"
Cas gave his shoulders one last squeeze, fixing him with a fond look. "He is."
"Where's your friend?" Dean questioned as Cas walked through the living room of Jody's house, expression guarded and body language tense.
Sam was standing across from him at the dining room table, a wooden bowl filled with various ingredients sitting in front of him. He nodded at Cas in greeting and flipped through a few pages of an ancient tome he was holding in his hands.
"Caleb left." Cas replied shortly, coming to stand next to Dean. He caught his eye and held it. "He knows how I feel, Dean. We both thought it would be best if we went our separate ways."
"Does that mean you're coming home?" Dean handed a Sam a handful of sage, trying to feign indifference in his answer.
"If that's what you want." Cas replied.
Dean turned fully towards him, a smile smile playing over his lips. "Yeah, Cas. 'Course."
Cas stepped forward slowly, giving Dean space to back away. When he stood resolutely in his place, Cas threw his arms around him, burying his face in his neck and exhaling shakily. Dean let a slow, satisfied smile crawl over his features as he raised his arms to pull him closer, tangling one hand in his hair and closing his eyes. Cas pulled his head back and they shared a silent communication, grinning like idiots.
"Hey," Dean started softly, separating enough to lay a tentative hand against Cas' cheek before letting it fall away. "I just- I realized I didn't say it before and I kinda need you to know," he rambled, face going a little pink. "I am sorry, Cas. I'm really fucking sorry and I- you know," he lowered his voice, glancing at Sam in embarrassment, but he was determined. "I love you."
Cas' face split into the biggest smile Dean had ever seen him give. "Yeah?"
Dean nodded, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. "Yeah."
Cas let out a chuckle, pulling him into another brief hug and murmuring, "I love you, too." Into his neck.
Sam cleared his throat as they separated. "Don't get me wrong," He started, upending a vial of thick blood into his bowl. "I'm thrilled for you guys." The concoction before him began bubbling and spitting. "But let's go kill some monsters, first."
The rest of the hunt proved to easy as pie- as Dean would say. After Sam finished the tracking spell the three of them, joined by Jody and Claire, found the shifter and the witch holed up in a warehouse at the far end of town. Apparently, the witch had promised to bring back his dead lover with a spell that called for the sacrifice of someone 'pure of heart'. Surprisingly, none of the people he had picked up in a bar had fit the quota so far, so they had to keep trying. For quid pro quo, the shifter agreed to then sacrifice himself for the witch, who needed the blood of a supernatural entity to perform a power-enhancing spell on herself. It was all very telenovela. Thankfully, they were able to stop them before they killed their way through half the town's bar patrons through their witless escapade.
There had been one small incident where Dean had been thrown into a wall by the witch just before Sam could shoot her, knocking him out for a good five minutes. Cas had hovered over him and- much to the shock of Jody and Claire, who had not borne witness to their earlier reunion in the dining room, unlike Sam- grabbed his face and kissed him senseless when he came back around. In the aftermath, they were lucky they only had to put up with a bit of teasing from Claire and a few teary-eyed hugs from Jody.
Back at Jody's, after they had said their goodbyes, Sam and Cas stood by the idling car while Dean retrieved their bags from inside.
"I'm so glad you're back." Sam spoke earnestly, enveloping him in a brief hug before holding him at arm's length and fixing him with a serious look. "And for god's sake, please never leave my brother again."
Cas chuckled but Sam shook his head deliberately. "I know he can be a complete ass sometimes, Cas, but I can't deal with him when you're away. He just can't function without you."
Cas frowned, watching as Dean bounded down the front porch steps, a duffel thrown over each of his shoulders and humming quietly to himself.
"If he ever gets that way again, just tell me and I'll beat some sense into him until he apologizes. Just, don't leave. He cares about you, probably more than he'd ever be willing to admit." Cas smiled at that. "I care about you too, Cas. You really are family, to both of us." He gave Cas' shoulder a firm squeeze just as Dean approached the car. Dean raised his eyebrows at Sam, who just shrugged and helped him load their bags into the trunk.
"What was that about?" Dean asked Cas as they slid into the front seat, ending up a bit closer to each other than strictly necessary.
Cas laid a hand on Dean's knee. "Sam was just reassuring me that I have a home- a family- with you guys."
"'Course you do, Cas." Dean covered his hand with his own, threading their fingers together. "I'm a giant ass, but you'll always be family. Even if we fight, or disagree- that's what families do, man."
Cas stared down at their entwined hands, feeling a sense of rightness and completion that had been missing from inside himself for a long time. "Thank you, Dean."
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