The Tears of the Traitress

A/N: This will be a short story about the events that took place after the real Mage died. [check out my stories "The Bigger Picture" (the prequel to this one and "Legends of Meridian I" for best references.] It will cover 4 years of moments and bits of Nerissa's life in the Metamoor, Meridian's fate and all that which is inevitable. My take on those events which we never got to see expanded in the show. Enjoy! / btw, this gorgeous cover is by kami._d on Insta. Check her out! She's AMAZING./

Summary: Pre-Series. Nerissa's POV. 3 years have passed since the Mage died. Life on Meridian is changing. An inevitable curse is looming above the kingdom- the prince's maturing. Nerissa's life is also being altered. Her vision must wait long before being realized, but she is a patient creator. Her heart, however, is being torn apart by her own fate. The tears of the traitress never stop falling…

Chapter 1: Forget-Me-Not

Forgive me for you see me, sad once more,
forgive me for I cost you shame forevermore,
you're not at fault, mother, that the rotten apple is me.

Forgive me for you see me again sad and tired,
forgive me for all the pain undesired,
you're not at fault, oh no, the cross is for me to bear

I stopped singing, abashed. I wiped my face and tensed as to hear. I could swear I had just heard the hooves of an approaching horse, but what were the odds? These waterfalls were so far away from everything and everyone. No one ever came here.

Magjenzian Falls were far too mystic and remote for any of the royals to visit them, what was left for the villagers, who were afraid of their own shadows in recent times...

But all the more so, here I was. Hearing the fast, steady approach of someone or something...It was a silly, almost childish thought to think that I'm the only one in Meridian to know about Magjenzian Falls and the little retreat from reality which they happened to be. Someone else had found them. Someone else was about to barge into my secluded zone that was so intimate and secret...

I could've easily teletransport away in that warm, sunny day, but I didn't. My curiosity got the better of me. I needed to see. I needed to see who had come here and why. Interactions with other humans, or at least humanoids, I had had in the last three years that I served as Mage, but they had all been so very vague and formal, none of them counted as something big. After the real Mage had died, I had turned into a true loner. Perhaps that was why I appeared quite bedazzled when I emerged from within the trees and literally collided with a tanned, well-built young man. Was he wet?! I blinked a few times, stopping my eyes on him:

"Condone my error, please, my fair lady. I didn't mean to get water on your garments. Nor give you a fright..."

Yes, apparently he had jumped in the still waters from the top of one of the falls. He was indeed wet and now, after our impact, I was too. Quite literally...Did I seriously just refer to that bon mot? The first thing which went through my mind and was so very high school, but still, how could one close their mind to it?

What a dashing man. A total babe. Shaped like a Greek God under the wet clothes, his luscious chocolate locks, damp and sleek after his jump in the waters, framed a perfect clean-shaved, masculine face. And those eyes? Those dark, deep eyes with just a hint of naughtiness as they darted towards my chest.

Do not get me wrong, the Metamoor has a lot of handsome men to offer. Primarily the Escanors, of course. It is not unusual to see a good-looking male around, but there was just something...something special in that stranger. Something distinct. I don't know, might as well be the fact that I hadn't had the attention of a man, something which has always empowered me so much, in a long while, and that guy was paying attention to me, alright. And that was an understatement.

He looked no less captivated than me. There was this carnal chemistry between us and it was something which rarely happened to me (again, most probably the time spent in isolation provoked it like that). But he was drinking from me with his gaze... Why was he doing so again?! I...That was when I realized; in my haste, I hadn't glamoured into my Mage form. I was still in the glamour of my old self. My younger self. Something which I did just for the sake of my failing self-esteem and psyche during these days.

Well...That sure did explain a lot.

"They call me Julian. "- the stranger introduced himself and I found just one more thing to admire in him. His smile and voice were so...so gallant, yet husky. I could tell he was putting up an effort to charm me, and it was working. For a moment, I let myself forget everything and just steal some moments for my soul and senses. It was high time for me to reply to him too, I didn't want to appear as mute or even worse, moronic.

"I'm..."

What had he said, an error? Because an error is what I had in that moment. A total malfunction. What the hell was I supposed to say? What had I even thought? I couldn't tell him my name, nor could I tell him that I'm the "Mage". Why would the Mage glamour herself and go around the kingdom; what would the Mage even want to do with people if they haven't sought her help? I was at the crossroads of my own tearing stupidity at that point.

"You are?"- Julian urged me and then chuckled softly. "You are quite beautiful, if I may say so myself. I came here to seek solitude, but I am now certainly enjoying the company. Where are you from, Touris Filney? Or the capital? You don't look like a girl from the capital-"

I pursed my lips at that, but I was more than glad that he gave me the opportunity to take the conversation to a new direction, away from my "error".

"What, I look more like a miller's daughter?"

"No, no, you didn't comprehend. What I meant to say was that people from the capital are usually too self-absorbed and blind to the beauty of nature. And since you're here at Magjnezian Falls, you must be someone who has an eye for the things that really matter. Let's take a walk, shall we? I would love to show you something. "

Oh, anything to get you as far away as possible from the real Mage's grave behind these trees, dear heart...

I smiled, brushing that dark thought away. How had encountering this man made me forget about the ultimate tragedy my life had turned into, was beyond me, but I was more than grateful. It had been a while since someone had managed to make me smile sincerely like he did.

Taking a walk with Julian was rather...therapeutic, in many ways. After some walking, he showed me a gorgeous, shady meadow near the waters. After three more years with the bare minimum of interactions, I was surprised that I managed to hold in a conversation that well. But then again, I guess that flirting is like riding a bicycle, once you learn, you're unlikely to forget the ways.

Julian was rather talkative, but the more I spoke, the more I could see him look at me in a different way. I think that he understood I was not a simple village girl, for what he had taken me in the beginning. That didn't bother him, on the contrary, it seemed to only further fuel his interest. I couldn't play that role anyway, not in my young self's body.

I have to say, most men are like predators circling their prey when they court someone. Especially on Meridian, where few are those who knew the true meaning of respect for the "weaker sex". Only because they haven't had much situations where the prey bites back, I knew...But nevertheless, Julian didn't seem to fall into this same column. Whether because he was raised differently or because my demeanor demanded respect, he didn't even dare try touch me without my consent.

His eyes still exposed him at times...he was willing to do me then and there. In the grass. And as a matter of fact, I didn't mind one bit. In fact, I had been this close to starting that process myself. I needed it- after so many years, I longed not only male attention and desire, but also touch and love. Which woman doesn't want to feel desired? Which woman does not need to have love made to her? I knew needed a rocking experience to tear me apart with all my problems and concerns, and I could tell that the man I had just met could do that for me. Do me. What stopped me from going in for what my body ached for was when he changed his tone and started talking about something else which attracts me terribly. Goals and aspirations...

"Talking to you is truly a delight. It makes my mind go away from the state of affairs in our Meridian right now. I assume you've heard the rumors...about the problems in the Palace. The problems in the royal bedroom... I'm actually afraid of what is to come in the near future, as uncanny as that sounds. Problems have already started to emerge around the entire kingdom...I would like to do something to aid my homeland during restless times."

"No, it's not uncanny at all. Many share your concerns. Restless times are indeed coming."- I murmured and then stopped myself.

My heart had skipped a beat at the mentioning of that. The situation in the Palace was actually forming as my first goal at the time. The first place for me to take advantage of. In the last three years, I had done my calculations precisely. In order to get peace and to the Heart of Kandrakar, which had been so unfairly taken away from me, I had to go through much more than any mortal human could bear. But I would. I was, after all, a guardian. I wasn't going to accept the defeat and downfall which these back-stabbing fools had made me suffer...

"What do you see yourself doing in case they loom over us sooner than expected?"- I asked carefully. By now, my appearance was far not the only thing that made Julian look at me. Suddenly, he was looking at me for my ideas and considerations regarding his homeland. He was a patriot, I instantly understood that about him. He was of great potential to more than he suspected...

"I am uncertain... If the Queen fails to produce a female child, the Prince will take command over everything. And you know what they say about him...I am not that far from believing that he is actually...I don't want to say it out loud, because you might think I have the mentality of a beldam. But I hear people talk...we all know who Phobos Escanor looks like...What do you think?"

I didn't reply at once. At that point we were talking while lying in the grass. Julian's whole attention on me, as I put my answer together:

"First of all, I think that the Queen is unfortunately unhealthy. She has dizzy spells and pains, and can't get herself to do many ordinary things...Even if she does have a daughter, people will have to fight for her wellbeing in that castle. Phobos is not an ordinary child. These last three years have only further pushed him towards his nature."

"But...these are mere rumors. Do you believe in them?"- his eyes were as wide as plates.

I shook my head.

"Oh, I most certainly do. Unfortunately, my experience has shown me that there is much truth in these rumors. Things in the Palace are getting worse with every year. Every year that brings the young prince closer to a more mature age- "

"So you think that he is indeed a reincarnation of the ancient tyrant?"

Julian was resting his face in his palms. I pursed my lips and got closer:

"I wouldn't necessarily call him that. I don't know whether an 800-year-old ghost would possess some brat after so much time. But I do know that the young prince is a troubled child, who has affinity with magic and power, and the fact that he has surely felt unloved on many occasions in his short life, doesn't help."

We were silent for almost an entire minute.

"You think that it's true then. All the prerequisites for that are in place. That boy might as well become the next tyrannical ruler. That's why people talk, never has Meridian ever blossomed under the rule of a man- "

"People always talk."- I snorted. "That shouldn't bother you. Most people usually think in small portions, they don't know how to play on a large stage like one should. One who has the vision..."- our eyes met and I decided it was best to change the subject. His intrigue and fascination with my words were beginning to threaten my identity. I glanced at the man's face once again and met his little smile. He had to be younger than me.
For sure, he wasn't one to remember me from the times I had led C.H.Y.K.N around this same realm he so ardently loves. Julian had perhaps been a toddler during the times we had fought other enemies and solved other problems on Meridian, long before the royal brat was even born... Times gone, but not forgotten. I had not forgotten my old friends. One day I would come back for them. One day in the future...

Yes, I was elder to Julian, but one couldn't tell. My glamour hid the scars which my sentence had left on me. And he was a man now, wasn't he? A fine man. I caught his gaze get languorous again.

"You're not quite like any other woman I've ever encountered."- he confessed in the end. "You're beautiful and intelligent. There must be something more to you. You must have a secret."

You have no idea...The secrets and memories that I've learned to live with have become a part of me by now.

Shaking my head, I got to terms with the reality and the fact that, even though he attracted me, I was still talking to a man I had just met. A total stranger... I couldn't afford to share any of my guarded thoughts, dreams and ideas. That would've been highly unreasonable...What I could do, however, was get to know him better. For the first time in a long while, I was actually feeling interested in someone. For the first time in three years someone was actually interacting with me. The real me, not the false image of the Mage. The real me which they had tried to tear apart together with the Heart of Kandrakar. I couldn't miss on such an opportunity.

"You have to be elsewhere?"- he exclaimed, disappointment ringing in his voice. "So soon? But you haven't even told me your name yet- "

I tossed my hair back and gave him a brief smile. Even after so long, I had a particle of dignity left to take care of. I did enjoy being in the handsome stranger's company for many reasons, but broadcasting desperate? No...Never have, never will.

That was why I hid my hands in the pockets of the long dress for a second. Long enough for me to conjure a small, but beautiful flower. My old friend Kadma, whose hatred for me had increased immensely after Cassidy's death, had taught me this trick a long time ago.

Julian furrowed his brows in puzzlement as I handed it to him:

"A flower..."- he smiled at the azure blue colors. "A forget-me-not? Does this mean that I'll get the honor to see you again?"

"Till our next meeting, Julian."- I retorted mysteriously. "Tomorrow. Same time. Same place. I'll be where you found me."

"So will I then."- his eyes gleamed. "And worry not, for I won't. I definitely won't forget you."

Yes, I did have Julian fall for Nerissa's guardian form, because I like that idea far better than what others have been suggesting over the years, lol. I think that this way, things make perfect sense. Why they both had feelings for each other in the cartoon, even after so much time. But one must have watched closely to detect those shades and details. ;) Anyways, I hope you've enjoyed the first chapter. "The Tears of the Traitress" will be expanding my collection of stories about Nerissa's past. Til next time!

xoxox,

~jimelization~