A/N

Some more conversations and reflections. This chapter is an extension of the previous one as the happenings are of the same day, therefore 5B. Hope you all enjoy!

Incident with Mrs. Bennet is for Darcy to realize that she is not all bad (She will unfortunately continue in her overbearing manner for some time more, the story demands it, my apologies to all readers who are already sick of her nonsense but more than 23 years of habit and more than a decade of fear of hedgerows will take time to change :))

Some trivia I learnt if anyone writing on regency period is interested:-

Yoyo (origin 500 BC, China) and Seesaw (Origin around 1600 AD, Europe) are words that can be used in regency fiction but 'jumping the gun' (Origin early 1900s, used for athletes.. er..jumping the gun) cannot be, phew! it is difficult to write about the period much as I love reading about it :)

As always thanks for reading and giving feedback, it is much appreciated.

TC

Book 2 - Chapter 5B

Yesterday had been an emotional seesaw for Jane. For a person who normally preferred to keep a tight check on her feelings and reactions, it had been a very difficult day. She had experienced a modicum of relief once she had decided that duty or no, she could not offer false hope to Mr. Bingley. If he appeared to single her out even after receiving no encouragement from her besides common civility, she would then take a decision on how to proceed. Unfortunately Mama was not leaving well alone. She had felt deeply mortified at the manner in which Mama had forced Mr. Bingley's hand to dance with her last night. She was not naïve, she understood Mama's compulsions and had till now been mostly sympathetic to her sometimes abrasive conduct. However since the Netherfield party had come her behaviour had become more and more frenzied and was getting very difficult to bear.

On top of that she was much confused by Mr. Bingley's peculiar and contrary conduct at Lucas lodge. Initially he had been eager enough to sit beside her and talk but things had gone continuously downhill as the evening progressed. He had appeared more and more distracted, preferring to look here and there. And who could really blame him? She had deliberately made her conversation dull and boring. Dinner last night was a never ending affair she could only recall with a shudder. She had not expected him to waste his time with her forthwith but when Sir William called for a dance, he had again been making his way towards them eagerly before Mama had pushed him to a corner. But when the dance started he had once more been distracted and agitated. She could not remember if they exchanged even a single word for the full duration of the dance. Maybe Mama's pushy manner exacerbated his discomfort but he had not been his amiable self all evening. Frankly, the whole evening had been a torture for her until… the last dance.

She could have borne everything with her usual equanimity, Mama's distasteful persistence and Mr Bingley's caprice, if she had been as heart whole as she was a week ago. Unfortunately, that had all changed the day their cousin had come for his visit.

While she and Lizzy had always talked about marrying for love, she had never believed in something as outlandish as love at first sight. Whenever they had talked about love and marriage she had contemplated friendship, mutual respect, and compatibility, not unbridled emotions. But she had taken one look at Mr. Collins smiling so warmly and her heart had turned over. Talk about silly behaviour. For Lord's sakes, she was twenty two, not some silly chit of sixteen and he had not even been smiling at her! But her emotions had been engaged in a manner she had never experienced before and she was finding it almost impossible to bring herself under good regulation. And Mr. Collins with his contagious smiles, gentle manner and upright conduct was making it still more difficult.

Last night she had been feeling very bogged down after her dance with Mr. Bingley. In came Mr. Collins with his offer of a dance and all of a sudden her world had righted itself. They had not even spoken much except for exchange of pleasantries but she had felt an unspoken communication between them. As if he understood her confusion and distress and was silently offering his support. When the dance had ended instead of bowing over her hand as was proper, he had very softly brushed his lips over it and she had felt the slight touch right down to her soul. It had left her feeling strangely euphoric all through their journey home, during her chat with her sisters, right down to the door of her chamber where Mama had stopped her and congratulated her for her successful campaign for Mr. Bingley. She had gone on for some time on how she was sure it would not be long before they all celebrated her engagement and how it would now be in her power to throw her sisters into path of other rich men. All her excitement and happiness had turned to ashes by the time Mama had bid her good night. Lizzy then had come to her for a chat and she had so badly wanted to confide in her but she just could not.

She had found it extremely difficult to sleep and had lain contemplating her choices late into the night. Duty and sacrifice had sounded very virtuous only a few days back when her emotions had not been engaged. But now that they were, duty unfortunately was a bitter pill to swallow and her mother's overbearing manner increasingly difficult to endure. But could she really be selfish enough to ignore her sisters' future for her own felicity if fate brought her in a position to improve their prospects?

~oooOOooo~

As Collins prepared to sleep that night he revisited the entire evening spent at Lucas lodge. While it had ended on a high note for him because of his memorable dance with Jane, he had felt quite troubled for her over the course of the evening. He had observed that she was clearly unhappy with her mother's dogged attempts to match make between her and Bingley. While it was not his place to interfere, his emotions were such that he could not, not do nothing. While the matter did affect his own happiness, it was hers that concerned him more. He could feel it in his bones that the special connection he had experienced with her while dancing was reciprocated in some measure. She would not be happy with Bingley even if he had been interested in her, which seemed highly unlikely from what he had witnessed of his behaviour. First though he had to find out why she was so ambiguous in her treatment of Bingley. For that he would need to talk to her, alone. He would have to orchestrate a walk in the Longbourn gardens or to Meryton with some of his cousins and then try to speak to her.

He got a chance to enact his plan the very next morning after breakfast. He had been sitting in the morning room with Jane, cousin Elizabeth and cousin Mary exchanging desultory conversation when he requested them to accompany him for a short walk. All the ladies were willing and soon they were on their way. As he was already talking to Jane about one of her paintings it was only natural that they walked out together followed by Elizabeth and Mary. Soon the other two overtook them as they both were brisk walkers.

Now that he had the opportunity he had been looking for, he steered the conversation to last evening, "It was good to meet your neighbours last evening especially Sir William who is very jovial and welcoming."

"Ah yes, he is rather, he loves to make everyone comfortable. If one knows how to prevent his forays into his reminisces of St. James one could not do better than him as a conversation partner." Replied Jane tongue firmly in cheek.

Collins grinned, "Frankly cousin, I find it quite remiss of you not to have passed this very important information before the visit. I was regaled about his knighthood ceremony twice during the course of the evening." He was gratified to hear her tinkling laughter.

"I do beg your pardon, sir." She smiled

"Ah, I have already forgiven you cousin, after all you did me the very great honour of standing up with me last night." He said.

"It was the highlight of my evening." He murmured almost as an afterthought, so softly that she may have altogether missed it if she had not been paying as much attention as she was. But she did hear and a soft blush made her lovely countenance all the more enchanting.

For a while Collins found it almost difficult to speak, then he cleared his throat and forged ahead, "I am not sure how correct I am in my observation but it appeared to me that you were somewhat discomposed when I asked you to dance last evening. I…er. it… it is not for me to say but if ….. if partnering Mr. Bingley upsets you so much, you should not let anyone bully you into it." There, he had said it and now he waited for her to fire him for his extreme presumption.

Frankly that is what Jane Bennet would have done if any else other than Mr. Collins would have presumed so to talk ill of her mother or to criticize her own conduct. Luckily for Mr. Collins he was ... himself. And so her first feelings were of elation that she had been right, he had felt her distress. Then came irritation, and she said dryly, "You sir are forgetting that we women do not always have the right to refusal. If I refuse when I do not want to dance, I will then have to refuse even when I do want to. In short Mr Collins, I would have to sit out rest of the dances. So, if I had refused Mr. Bingley, your evening would not have had its highlight sir." She finished sardonically.

Collins flushed as she arched her brow at him and Jane immediately felt repentant but he beat her to an apology, "I am sorry, cousin I had not thought it through. It disturbed me that you were unhappy and I just blurted whatever came into my head."

"I too am really sorry for sniping at you and taking out my frustration on you when I know you were only concerned for me." She said softly and continued, "But I do think you are being a little hard on poor Mr. Bingley. He has only ever been kind and amiable. Offered me civil conversation and asked me to stand up with him. Yesterday he was almost harangued into it. It is not his fault that Mama has her own compulsions." her lips twisted as she glanced at him.

They walked on in silence for a while and then Jane almost burst out, "You know, not everyone has the luxury of following his heart. Sometimes duty must come first. Especially when, as the eldest you have already failed your sisters once. When it was left to your younger sisters to undertake what you should have done."

Ah, so it was guilt that was driving Jane's conduct apart from her mother's persistence, thought Collins sadly. As a man of God he really could not come out and talk against duty and had he not noticed that Bingley's interest lay elsewhere, he would have been a very worried man. But since he had, he felt it only right to warn her and said solemnly, "I must applaud you for your concern for your sisters and your dedication to do right by them. I would only say, however, that before you commit to a path where you believe your duty lies, please be very sure that it would really be for the good of your sisters. Look around you carefully before taking a decision. It should not happen that your adherence to duty results in heartache and I am not talking about you."

When she only looked at him a little in alarm, he sighed a little frustratedly and said, "Unfortunately it is not my secret to tell and I am not even completely sure that what I observed or thought I observed is correct. But please do not be guided by your mother's beliefs, evaluate for yourself and then act for the good of your family." At her hesitant nod he decided not to speak on the subject any further. He was not sure if Jane would be able to discern his slightly cryptic message but he could only pray that germ of the idea he had put forward would guide her sufficiently for her to discern the correct path.

~oooOOooo~

Kitty went directly to her room after she parted from Mr. Bingley, as she did not feel up to talking with anyone at the moment. Her meeting with Mr. Bingley had discomposed her in more ways than one. Although she knew that he favoured Jane, she had believed that they had begun a friendship on the night of the assembly, that he too had felt pleasure in their dance and conversation. It had therefore hurt her a lot when he had not even bothered to greet her yesterday. Though there was a moment last night when she had thought he was coming to ask her for a dance but she had been wrong, he had asked Jane as she should have expected. In any case, even if he had wanted to ask her, Mama had ensured that it was Jane whom he chose. She had felt irritated with herself for feeling so upset. She knew he was meant for Jane, she herself wanted what was best for Jane, then why it should pain her to be ignored so, was something she could not fathom. But pain her, it did. She had come home last night determined to forget about him and their friendship.

But then he had turned up at the school today, amiable, eager to please, friendly as before, as if….. as if… last night had not happened, that it had been a figment of her imagination! Really it was too bad of him to behave in such a contrary and confusing fashion. For an insane moment she had felt like ignoring him and walking on but she was not brought up to be rude to friends. And if she was honest with herself, she had wanted to talk to him. So she had stopped and it was exactly like the night of the assembly. It was so good to know that he was a compassionate man, eager to help those less fortunate than him. She had again felt so attuned to him that she had even forgotten her hurt for a moment. But there had been a thread of guilt too in finding pleasure in his company. It had felt as if she was going behind Jane's back in befriending him and she had not been able to be completely natural with him. But just being a friend to him could not be such a bad thing, could it? All of a sudden she felt very confused and alone. In the last year or so she had grown very close to all her sisters and had come to believe that if she were ever faced with a problem she could easily seek counsel from any of them. It was so ironical then that the very first time she was at a point nonplus she felt unable to confide in any of them.

~oooOOooo~

After breakfast Bingley had asked Darcy to accompany him to the vicarage but he had declined as he had wanted to write to Georgie. He had received a letter from her only today and though she had sounded much happier than before, he did believe that she could do with some more cheer. Now that Richard was back in London he would also be trying his best to bring out Georgie from the shell she had gone into. To his surprise he found he had multiple anecdotes to share with Georgie that may interest her. He wrote about meeting William Collins, about Miss Lydia and her knowledge of crop rotation, about Miss Mary and how she had shut Miss Bingley's petty cribbing with her beautiful performance. He chose not to write about Miss Elizabeth's Italian Ballad.. because.. er… the letter was becoming too full of Bennets. He debated with himself whether to share about his boorish behaviour at the assembly but frankly he could not bring himself to relate the incident to his sister with any equanimity. The thought of putting the dreadful incident on paper made him cringe. It might have done Georgie some good to know that her much adored brother was not as perfect as she thought but Darcy was vain enough not to disillusion her himself. Maybe he would tell her about it in person sometime later, when he was actually able to laugh at himself for his stupidity.

Bingley was still not back from his visit after he had finished with his letter and he debated with himself on what next to do. He would have preferred to sit and reminisce about his extremely agreeable interlude at Oakham Mount this morning. But that way lay danger of getting even more enamoured than he already was and he deliberately tried to keep himself otherwise engaged. The idea of joining Miss Bingley and the Hursts in the parlour was very unappealing, which left the library. Unfortunately Bingley's library was woefully sparse and there were few books in it to interest him. All of a sudden he was struck with the brilliant idea to visit Meryton to purchase few volumes for himself and select some more for Bingley's library.

Half an hour later he was in Meryton just preparing to enter Mr Templeton's shop when an unfortunate accident occurred. The accident, while it put paid to his plans to buy books, was otherwise beneficial for him at least, if not for the main protagonist. As he looked around before entering the shop he saw a carriage stop across the road in front of the baker's and Mrs. Bennet get out from it. Darcy was still debating whether to go across and pay his respects when the coachman took the carriage away. All of a sudden a boy was pushed out of the baker's shop with some force and he fell on the road. Unfortunately for the boy a cart was passing in front of the shop right at that moment and despite the driver's heroic attempts the boy's right leg came under the horse's hoof. In the resulting commotion Darcy too ran towards the boy to see if he could help in any manner.

As he reached the site he saw that Mrs. Bennet was getting things under control like a trooper. On one hand she was trying to stem the flow of blood from the wound with a clean handkerchief and on the other she was trying to pacify the driver of the cart, "Stop whining my good man, no one is blaming you for the accident. Everyone saw how you tried your best to control your horse. If anyone is it be blamed, it is Mr. Peters who pushed the poor boy so cruelly." Here she paused to give a fierce look to the belligerent looking Mr. Peters, the baker. The man was however, cowed down enough not to retort back. She then addressed him directly, "Mr. Peters. please be good enough to send a boy to the apothecary's and ask him to come to Mrs. Phillips' house. It would be better if he takes a look at this poor boy's leg." As Mr. Peters appeared to be having some objections to this plan he was again treated to an imperious stare which did its work as before. "Now I need some help to carry this boy to my sister's place nearby." As Mrs. Bennet addressed her audience and looked around, Darcy stepped forward and said quietly "Please show me the way, I'll carry him. But first I think you should tie the wound with this," and he offered his own handkerchief to her.

Mrs. Bennet who had appeared dumbfounded at his offer to carry the boy took the handkerchief without a word and keeping the pad she had made with her own in its place, tied the wound securely. Only then did she address him, "You will ruin your clothes, Mr. Darcy."

"It is of no concern. They will clean. My valet may get upset with me for a few days but he will come around eventually. Please lead the way." Darcy smiled as he bent to pick the snivelling child. Mrs. Bennet blinked and stared at him for a second then gave him a brilliant smile and said, "How very kind of you, Mr. Darcy, please follow me."

Fortunately Mrs. Phillips' house was not too far and within ten minutes they were inside her kitchen where she guided them. Luckily Mr. Jones the apothecary had been notified very quickly and he was there to take care of the boy. Mrs. Phillips asked Darcy to join them for a cup of tea and as he was interested in finding out the boy's condition from the apothecary, he agreed. After washing his hands he joined Mrs. Bennet and her sister in the parlour.

As he entered the room he heard Mrs. Phillips addressing her sister, "The boy appears to be an urchin Fanny, with nowhere to go. What would we do with him once Mr. Jones has patched him up?"

"Well, he must have come from somewhere. But if he has nowhere to go, I'll take him to Longbourn. He can easily stay with the other grooms in the stable. Between Hill and John coachman, he will be looked after well. Once he recovers I am sure Mr. Bennet will manage to get some work for him." Mrs.Bennet said as she very effectively and simply resolved the issue.

Mrs. Phillips perceived him standing by the door and asked him to come and have his tea. The conversation then turned to generalities. Soon they were joined by Mr. Jones who informed that he had cleaned and treated the wound. Provided the child rested and got continued medical attention he would be quite well in a fortnight. He also confirmed that the child indeed had nowhere to go.

"No need to fret, I will take him to Longbourn with me." Said Mrs. Bennet.

When Darcy offered his help in carrying the child to her carriage, she exclaimed good naturedly, "Bless you, Mr. Darcy but there is no need. John coachman will be able to manage just fine. I do hope though, that your coat will clean properly."

"Oh, I am sure that will be the case" Darcy said unconcernedly as he took his leave.

As he rode back to Netherfield, Darcy had only kind thoughts of Mrs. Bennet. How many gentlewoman of his acquaintance would have taken care of a similar situation with such kindness and empathy? Most would not have even bothered to help a dirty waif, those who would, would have offered a few coins to the boy and considered their duty done. Frankly he could recall no one he knew, accept maybe Aunt Susan, who would have personally taken charge the way Mrs. Bennet had and it left him feeling guilty for the unkind thoughts he had been harbouring for her all this while. Today's incident had unequivocally demonstrated that there were many layers to a person and it was not only naïve but unfair too, to judge anyone so harshly on the basis of first impressions. He could only hope that from now on he would be able to hold his horses before forming impressions about anyone and have the kind of empathy for all his fellow beings that Mrs. Bennet had shown today.

~oooOOooo~