Okay, we should have all known this was coming.

I'm a sucker for writing the parenthood AU, we all should have known that it would reach the ducks eventually. I actually think I have a lot of quality Duck content coming, these newer episodes and the hiatus have inspired me to write the stories I couldn't when I was in a Ducktales creative drought between seasons. I've been starting google docs for every single one of my ideas as soon as I come to it so I really think there should be a flood of stories coming in the next few months.

I'll explain more about the specifics of this AU in the next chapter (a chaptered story!), until then, the Author's note stands for itself, basically.

"RAPHAEL, MICHAELANGELO, DONATELLO, AND LEONARDO GET IN HERE THIS INSTANT OR ELSE!" Dewey screamed through the house, no doubt to the delight of all of the other tenants of the apartment building he lived in with his four boys. The four boys emerged from every corner of the house, a sheepish grin on 75% of them. He assessed the four for any mischief-related injuries but they all seemed fine physically.

"Leo, sweetie, what were you and your brothers up to?" Leo was the youngest and a total sweetheart, he was Dewey's go-to for snitching.

Raph, his emo oldest, crossed his arms, "That's not fair."

"Ooh, here's an idea, talk to me about what is and isn't fair when you're not setting the house on fire."

"That was one time," Mikey mumbled.

"We weren't up to nothing, daddy," Leo said, blinking up innocently at his father. Dewey's heart melted, but he didn't believe it for a second.

"Donnie?"

"What Leo said!" Donnie squeaked, wilting under the attention, "We weren't up to... " Donnie cringed, "..Nothing."

"Mm-hm. So if I walk through this house all of it is going to be intact?"

"Of course it is," Raph snorted, rolled his eyes. Dewey reached over and caressed his teenager's face lovingly. Then he smirked and pulled it off. Leo gasped.

"Gotcha. Which one of you isn't a robot?" Three arms went up.

"Just Raph then? That makes things easier for me. Do you want to tell me where he is?" Mikey and Donnie studied the ground. Dewey could legitimately believe that his six-year-old didn't know anything about his big brother's exploits.

"Right, well I'm going to call your Uncle Louie to come watch you, and then I'm gonna find Raph. Mikey, do me a favor and disassemble your brother." Mikey let out a dramatic groan and grabbed the toolbox.

"Rest in peace Robo-Raph," he said, while Donnie stood at attention and played an imaginary trumpet and little Leo watched with morbid-curiosity. Dewey texted his brother and just stood back to watch them, glad, at least, that these three were safe, though a large part of his mind was occupied with worrying about Raph. They could all be little troublemakers but Raph was the rebellious one, Raph was the one that Dewey could, unfortunately, see getting in trouble with the law. Dewey vehemently believed that Raph could have a bright future in front of him, but only if he started listening to the people who cared the most about him.

Louie was there in 23 minutes, his same chill, easy smile adorning his face as if he was trying to assure Dewey that everything was going to be okay.

"Parenthood," Louie joked as he fist-bumped his nephews, "is the greatest scheme of all." Louie had two girls, closer to Raph's age than Huey's kids who were all between Leo's 6 and Mikey and Donnie's 11.

"Yeah, yeah. If Raph would stop scheming that'd actually be great."

"What can I say? He takes after his cool Uncle."

"He hates you," Dewey said, "he calls you Uncle Lou-cifer."

"I would be hurt if that weren't exceptionally clever," Louie said, shaking his head and laughing.

"Thanks again for taking care of the boys. I'll return the favor sometime."

"No problem, Dewey. Happy to help out family."

"Yeah? So I don't owe you anything?"

Louie smirked, "I didn't say that."

Dewey hit the streets as soon as possible, trying to put himself int the head of an edgy 13-year-old. It wasn't exactly the kind of kid he had been when he was younger. A bit of a troublemaker, sure? A vandal who rejected society's approval? Dewey had never been that. Dewey cared so much about society's approval. He was worried that Raph was going to do something dangerous one day and getting seriously hurt. He worried about his other sons following Raph's example. Mikey was already Raph's devoted disciple, willing to lie whenever Raph asked him to. He worried that Leo would be swayed to do the same. He didn't worry as much about Donnie because Donnie was generally a good kid who always seemed terribly anxious whenever Raph or Mikey asked him to lie for them. There was a moral compass somewhere in this family.

He must have called Raph's phone a thousand times before the disgruntled teen finally had the decency to pick up.

"What do you want?"

"I've been looking for you for an hour it's finally time to own up, where are you?"

"Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy."

"Do not cite the deep magic to me, Witch. I was there when it was written."

"Whatever."

"You have two options, Raphael Omar Duck, either you tell me where you are right now and I come and get you or you go home right now and your Uncle will call and tell me you're home so I can stop worrying about you."

"Or you could just stop worrying about me. I'm 13, I'm fine."

"You're not fine, you're only 13! I will find you one way or another."

"That sounds kinda creepy, dad."

"Oh, and replacing yourself with a robotic version of yourself isn't creepy?"

"Touche. I'll be home in like an hour."

"I'm not gonna stop searching for you until you're with me or at home."

"Fine, be that way." Raphael hung up, and Dewey snorted in frustration. That kid was going to be the death of him. He could only imagine one alleyway somewhere getting tagged by Raphael's brand of chaos. He felt overwhelmed and he desperately needed help. His siblings, mom, uncles, and friends were a good support system but sometimes he still felt alone in this fight. Of course, his decision to remain unmarried and instead adopt a ludicrous amount of children was one that he didn't regret. He loved his boys with every fiber of his being. He'd run out of Ninja Turtles but he'd adopt more in a heartbeat if he ever got the chance. He could have a Splinter, a Mona Lisa, an April, a Casey, there were plenty of side characters and plenty of room in his heart for more, though that was pretty unlikely.

In all honesty, he was very proud of Raphael. He was an extremely talented artist with an equally impressive knack for robotics. He also shared Dewey's undying appreciation for hair gel and had a killer sense of style. Dewey just wished that for once Raph would use his talents to stay out of trouble instead of getting into it.

He found him about twenty minutes later, finishing an impromptu mural.

"It looks good," Dewey said with a sigh.

"So you're going to stop getting your feathers in a twist about my art?"

"Absolutely," Dewey promised, "the second your art stops being illegal."

"You're not cool."

"Ha, you can't use that against me, I used that against my father figure. You want to know what I learned?"

"You're gonna tell me whether or not I want to know."

"Not only is Uncle Donald super cool, everything he did that I didn't think was cool was for the good of me and my brothers. It's amazing how perspectives change." He placed a hand on Raph's shoulder and began to steer him towards home. Raph didn't pull away but Dewey saw his eyes roll as he pushed dyed midnight colored hair out of his eyes. Raph looked the most like Dewey, the twins had a tanned complexion and little Leo was lime-colored. People assumed that Raph was Dewey's biological son, and half the time neither of them cared enough to correct them unless it was in front of the other boys. Both of them knew that biology didn't really matter. They were related through something thicker than blood.

Even though Raph was annoyed with his father and Dewey was frustrated by Raph's rulebreaking, they both loved each other a lot. Dewey was relieved that he had gotten Raph home safe, but he still had to punish him.

"Raph, you're grounded for a month. Before you say anything, yes you can still go to art club. But other than art club I want you back home immediately after school and you can only go out on weekends if it's with the rest of the family. Mikey, you're going to be doing the dishes for two weeks because you covered for him."

"Lame," Mike complained, and Raph just crossed his arms.

"Your dad is way cooler than you realize," Louie said, trying to be helpful on his way out.

"Daddy's the coolest!" Leo cheered.

"Thanks, buddy, you're the coolest too."

"You can't both be the coolest," Donnie said quietly, "you're gonna have to duel for it." Dewey laughed, picking up his youngest and glancing around at his family, relieved that they were all safe and together. Sometimes things got a little crazy, but Dewey wouldn't change it for the world.