She Holds the Cards

Extra: His Protagonist

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Sasuke Uchiha, age seventeen, has only thought himself a coward twice in his life.

This was not one of those times.

Ignore the tremble in his heart and the beads of sweat slowly rolling down the length of his neck, he was not a coward and he was definitely not scared. Because why should he be? He's been in this situation plenty of times - just . . . with the roles reversed and he was the one getting confessed to. But that didn't matter much because, well, it just shouldn't. So what if he was coming clean with his thoughts and feelings? So what if he's never done something like this in his life? So what if . . . if the look Hinata was giving him right now made him stop breathing altogether?

It didn't matter.

Why?

Because he was not a coward.

Frowning, he glared up at the staircase above them, feeling like if he looked at her his resolve would disappear immediately. Get a hold of yourself. Cursing at himself, he finally dipped his head and pulled out a white envelope from his back pocket. It took all of his will to not stare daggers into the damn thing. It's just Hinata . . .

Yeah, and it was because it was just Hinata that he was feeling so . . .

Nervous?

No. More than that.

Not that he'd ever admit it.

Scowling, he jerkily held it out to Hinata - the confession letter that he would (unwillingly) admit took him longer to write last night than he'd like to give it credit. "Here," he said, glaring at the floor - not because he was scared, but because he felt like he'd sink into it if he looked away. Because, well, that's what love did to people, right? And just because he liked someone didn't mean he was a coward. This was just the normality of things. He was supposed to feel shaky and . . .

"Give this to her."

Sasuke Uchiha, age seventeen, has only thought himself a coward three times in his life.

...

Her?

HER!?

Who the FUCK is her!?

...

He didn't believe there was anyone out there in that gigantic universe who could be more stupid than Naruto Uzumaki.

Well, at the moment, he sure felt like he was.

The blush on Hinata's face disappeared, followed by a sick white and wide, hollow eyes. She was always easy to read. Maybe that was why he was so drawn to her. But this look - it was out in the open and clear as day, sure, but it just didn't make sense. He couldn't comprehend it.

What was she thinking?

And then, when those big eyes watered up and tears dripped down her cool cheeks, Sasuke was sure he must have messed something up somehow. Her fingers curled around the envelope, crushing it. He couldn't look away. What was happening?

"I-I-I-I'm sorry."

He watched her as she swallowed back a sob and took a few steps away from him.

He didn't like it at all - that distance she put between them, as if she were scared to be close to him.

And when she backed up into the door and pushed it open and never once looked at him, she said the worst thing in the world. "Sh-She's already taken."

...

Taken?

The door slammed shut, leaving him in there, standing under a staircase that he, at the time, wished would fall and crush him.

Frowning, he pulled his backpack over his shoulder and stormed up the staircase.

Damn that Shikamaru.

How'd it go? -Naruto

With a few clicks, Sasuke had turned his phone completely off and returned back to idly focusing on class. To his left and a little bit ahead, Naruto shot him a wary look over his shoulder.

Leave me alone, dumbass. The teacher was writing something on the whiteboard, and Sasuke didn't really try to read what it was. I'm not in the mood.

Sadly, Naruto was not a mind reader, and the second the bell rang, Sasuke looked up and saw that cheeky grin a few inches away from his face. "Hey," Naruto said as Sasuke stood and walked past him, "are you really not going to tell me how it went with Hinata?" The hallway was bustling, yet Naruto still somehow managed to catch up to him. In the corner of his eye, Sasuke saw his tan face morph into something sly. "Unless you caaan't tell me cuz you two were makin' out -"

"She's with Shikamaru."

That made the grin drop and the fire in those eyes fizzle out. "What?"

"I'm not repeating myself."

His friend frowned and tried to grab his shoulder, but Sasuke shrugged him off and kept walking. "Wait," Naruto said, literally shoving past students to stay at his side, "there's no way. Last night, at McDonalds - she said she was into you!"

He was very aware. Naruto had probably told him twenty times last night, and another five more that morning. But feelings change. His did for Sakura, and Hinata's did for Naruto, and that was just how things were.

But, sometimes, he wished things were different.

This was one of those times.

...

Should I try again?

Last period, as he tapped his pencil along the side of his desk, Sasuke began to think. When the shock and . . . heartbreak passed, determination took their spots in his chest, and he wasn't exactly the type to give up without a fight. He just wasn't sure how to fight for Hinata, especially against that genius Shikamaru Nara.

Do I keep asking her?

His fangirls did that, and with the lack of efficiency they had on him, he supposed it would be safer to cross that option off.

Do I scare him off?

That wouldn't be hard.

But . . . would it really work on him?

Do I force them to break up?

That . . . could work.

And without knowing, a wicked smirk came across his lips, and even the girls in the room shot him fearful looks as he began to plot. Because Sasuke was an Uchiha, and Uchihas weren't afraid to be selfish.

...

The thing was - he couldn't find her anywhere.

Is she avoiding me?

He frowned at the thought and pushed it in the back of his head. Those thoughts wouldn't get him anywhere. With a huff, he increased his walking speed and checked the entire first floor of the school and the parking lot and still could not find her. The dining area was empty, as was her last class. Hell, she wasn't even in the library!

His suspicions began to raise, and he couldn't push them back for much longer.

When he saw one of her friends - Tenten, was it? - practically drooling over her phone, he walked up to her and asked, "Where is she?"

The girl glanced at him, eyes sharp. "Sasuke? What are you -"

"Where's Hinata?"

She frowned, but answered. "With Shikamaru. Why?"

That bastard! Shoving his fists into his pockets, he began to stalk to the club room, but stopped when Tenten called to him. "Whatever it is - can it wait? She was really upset earlier, and, well, Shikamaru is usually the one she goes to in these kinds of situations."

Upset?

And suddenly, the ideas that were brewing in his head simmered down, and his shoulders relaxed. So she felt bad about letting him down - of course she did! She was the kind that still smiled at the blondes that broke her heart and worried about the feelings of nameless boys who looked to her as their last hope; she was the kind that apologized for something as insignificant as walking away from you in a library, the kind that rode roller coasters with you because you wanted to. She wasn't heartless or cruel or -

Or selfish.

And Uchihas . . . they knew when to be selfish.

And right now wasn't one of those times.

...

Walking away, Sasuke didn't think to look back - but if he had, he would have seen the plain, white envelope Tenten had pulled out of her purse, curiosity in her gaze as her eyes slowly trailed him.

"Why Hinata?"

That had been Naruto's question a year ago when he had caught Sasuke staring at her across the hallway - "Not just staring," he'd tell him with his classic, bright grin. "Staring longingly!"

And in the quiet school library, bent over a book of poems, of conversation starters, of confessions, Sasuke began to think about that question.

Why Hinata?

Why not Hinata?

Because Uchihas . . . they were used to feeling numb - "It comes with the blood," his father often told him. But when he was with Hinata, he didn't feel numb.

...

Days ago, in an empty classroom, Hinata had told him that he reminded her of winter. Well, she reminded him of summer: warm and simmering and bright and sweltering enough to melt those stone walls of his and make him feel hot and - and - and alive!

That feeling . . . it was addicting.

And it was swept out from under his nose, leaving him with a book in a library in a school in a town in a world full of numbness.

...

"SASUKE!"

That name - he never loved it as much as when she said it like that.

Wait.

He looked up and saw her there - there - panting and gulping and just a few feet away from him. His face heated up, and despite himself, he stared at her.

"Variation on the Word Sleep, 27 - 30."

Her eyes stared back, and Sasuke, again, couldn't breathe.

"H-Hinata . . ."

And when she smiled, his heart stopped, too. "Do you know it like I do?

...

Uchihas were used to numbness.

It came with the blood, some have said.

But Sasuke . . .

With hope in his heart, he wondered if that would ever be the case again.

End

Sequel now out.