Hey guys! Had this idea come to me the other day. The intention is for this to be a three-part story, but we'll see how it goes after the second chapter. It is in line (pretty much) with canon - I don't veer that far off I don't think (except for part 3 where I will have to diverge from canon in order to suit the story). Let's call them desired deleted scenes. I like to indulge my fantasies of what could have been from time to time ;) Anyway, this is Part 1! Hope you enjoy :)

"Hey, you got a sec?"

Steve leaned against the door jamb and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his jeans just to give them something to do. It was evening now but it had been a sunny day, maybe even the nicest day they'd had in a long time. He took that as a good sign, as though the universe was letting them know that it was on their side. Remnants of low sunlight beamed in through the wall of glass, the rays framing her perfectly as she sat there in front of him. She looked lost in her own thoughts, her teeth chewing on the bottom of her pen and her brow furrowed in that quizzical way it always did when she was trying to work something out, but at the sound of his voice, Natasha raised her head from her notebook. A small but genuine smile formed on her face.

"Sure," she replied, placing the notebook onto the coffee table in front of her. "What's up?"

The man drew in a breath and took a step further into the room.

Her braid fell over her shoulder as she scooted forward on the couch and though he'd never said it, Steve liked the combination of red and blonde she was sporting lately. The red because it was just so Nat, but the blonde reminded him of those years they were on the run together, forging this unbreakable bond they had. And that's what they had; a relationship that was more real and more important to him than he could have ever imagined. An unlikely partnership that just worked. A friendship born out of shared experiences and understandings. A constant. Something he wouldn't trade for anything in the world.

And maybe, just maybe, even something more.

Not that they ever talked about it. Whatever it was between them, whatever chord that linked them together, it couldn't be defined. It just was.

"Everything okay, Rogers?" she asked when he didn't speak. Her smile had turned a little worried.

He snapped himself out of his reverie. "Yeah, sorry. Was just thinking," he said, shaking his head. "You all set for tomorrow?"

Natasha's eyes flicked to her notebook again and then met his eyes. "As much as I can be for time-travel."

"Technically it's a time heist," he quipped.

She laughed then, husky and soft. "I know you were encased in ice and woke up 70 years later in essentially a whole new world so you're not really new to weird things happening to you, but did you ever picture yourself being able to travel through time?"

He bucked an eyebrow. "You seem to forget that I was a human experiment and injected with super serum in order to become an enhanced soldier. After everything we've seen over the years, time-travel seems par for course, really."

"Time heists," she corrected, laughing again.

Steve loved the sound of her laughs. She had a few of them; there was the one she used when she was flirting and trying to get information out of someone on a mission – that one was higher, looser; there was the one she had when she was with everyone and they were just having a good time – that one was more guttural, like it came from a deeper part of her; and then there was one that was only for him – that one was soft, intentional, melodic, real. He wasn't sure when he started logging and categorising them but he found out early on that there was a true joy in learning the many facets of Natasha Romanoff.

"So what's going on, Cap?" she implored again, eyes more alive. She rested her chin on her clasped hands as she leant her elbows on her legs.

After the debriefing when they finally put a plan in place and everyone's roles had been assigned, they ordered in food and spent time just hanging out and trading old stories. There was this anxious yet giddy crackle in the air that was undeniable. Everyone was assured, but there was still this undercurrent of apprehension that no amount of joking or rationalizing could diminish. At some point in all of it, Natasha had slipped out of the room. It was only when the stressed delirium had started to fade and everyone began excusing themselves to spend some time alone – or falling asleep in Thor's case – that Steve noticed she was gone, and that she hadn't been overly chatty over dinner, either.

That's when he found her.

"Penny for your thoughts? You seemed kind of quiet earlier."

Natasha offered a small shrug, green eyes open and honest. Raw. As time went on, there became fewer walls between the two of them; they had been through a lot and seen a lot over the years and with that came an unspoken understanding and respect. There was no point in lying to each other anymore. "This is…this is a lot, you know? I just never thought anything like this would or could happen."

"Yeah, me neither." He moved over to her and took up the other side of the couch in a gesture of friendship, with a posture of being ready to listen to whatever it was that she wanted to say.

She turned her body more in his direction, letting her arms fall onto her thighs. "The last five years have probably been the toughest of my life. I mean, I've been through a lot but when I finally found a purpose and a place where I belonged, I then realized what it meant to lose something. To really lose something. And I tried - you know I tried - to do whatever I could, to be the best version of myself, to keep pushing on but it just felt so helpless. Our job as Avengers is to fix the problems and save the world – and we couldn't do it." The beginning of tears swept over her eyes but she kept them in place with a purse of her lips. "But now we can help. Clint can get his family back, you can get Sam and Bucky back, Wanda, and Peter…everyone can come back. We're going to restore families and friends. We're going to make a difference, Steve. Whatever it takes, we're going do it."

The words washed over him for a beat. "You know for a second there you reminded me of me."

A loose snicker escaped her then. "You must be rubbing off of me. Can't spend a lot of time with Captain America and not learn a trick or two about making impassioned speeches."

"I guess not," he agreed with a chuckle. "We have been through a lot, you and me."

"More than most. Aside from Clint I don't think I've ever had someone stick by me through so much."

It was an off-hand comment, not made with much intent but he couldn't let it go unchecked. There was strange urgency in the air over the past couple of days and it seemed as though there was some kind of emotional shift happening between them all. Maybe it was this sense of reconnection, of renewed purpose, of righting wrongs but whatever it was, it brought with it a compulsion to leave their barriers down.

"And I'd do it all again, Nat," he declared earnestly, causing her to meet his gaze. "When I woke up from the ice, I didn't think I would ever feel like I belonged or that I would make friendships or relationships that would mean anything to me. Truth be told, I don't think I wanted to. But you proved me wrong." A timid smile flashed across his face. "You saw something in me – I don't know what it was, but you showed me trust and loyalty when not many others did. And every time I look around in a fight, there you are. Every time I'm in a bind, you swoop in from somewhere and help me out. You always have my back. I don't think there's anyone in my life I trust more than you."

Honesty was important to Steve; it was the backbone of his entire sense of self. But even he surprised himself at how easily and quickly those truths came from him. He had observed as hours and days and months and years of striving to do better, to be better had resulted in this new warped view Natasha had of herself where her only purpose and value was centred on this role she had as an Avenger, as someone who had to save the world, and while that was integral to who she was, Steve felt as though she had lost sight of how far she had come and how much saving she had done, and was doing, by just being her. She had saved him so many times and in so many different ways. She was already better, already more than enough, already someone of great significance. And she deserved to hear it.

Something came alive in her eyes, a dancing of flames around her pupils and her mouth opened just that little bit like she was about to say something and then suddenly stopped. It was like she was searching his words, examining their meaning as though they were physically floating in front of her and she was trying to figure them out. He just waited, praying that the sincerity would shine through.

Suddenly, she reached out and took one of his hands in hers. He tried to ignore the electricity that fizzed up his arm. Voice low yet strong, the words tumbled past her lips like they had to get out of her.

"When everyone started disappearing after the snap and it was just chaos, the only thought in my mind was, 'Please let Steve still be here'. How horrible is that? Everyone just stood there watching as friends and loved ones literally turned into dust in front of their eyes and I'm there selfishly begging the universe to give me some kind hope to cling to - as if I had any more right than them." Her eyes squeezed shut for a moment, face crunching in that way it did when she was admitting something that she was ashamed of. 'Please let Steve still be here' resounded throughout his mind, though. It was like it woke something inside of him, something he had tried to quash down a long time ago. Though it didn't feel like the right time to say it, he had thought something similar that day. He just never had the courage to tell her. Natasha continued on though, completely oblivious to his internal struggle and held his hand tighter. "And then when I saw you? I don't think I've ever felt relief like that before. I couldn't imagine doing this – any of this - without you. You're always by my side, no matter what. And I know I haven't made the last five years easy and I know I wasn't the Natasha everyone knew, but I was so happy that you were still here. I felt like, despite it all, everything would be okay. You were like my tether to this world, keeping me in check, keeping me sane." Green eyes pierced his blues. "I want everybody back more than anything but, Steve, just know that if it was just you and there was a chance to bring you back, I would do it."

That floored him.

It floored him mainly because if it was just her he knew he'd do it, too.

No hesitation.

"I would do it for you, too, Nat," he practically whispered.

Surprise split through her usually cool and collected demeanour. The glimmer of hope that took over her face gave him pause and he noted the way his heart thrummed with more determination at the way her head slightly cocked to the side as she appraised him as if seeing him for the first time.

And then it was just them; two souls on the same wavelength not really saying anything but saying everything. Their hands idly caressed each other, unbidden and loose, tracing and tracking the patterns of skin and bone.

Steve couldn't remember a time when had ever felt something so strong. Words couldn't define it; it was this emotion that swept over and all around him, consuming him to the point where it was all he could feel.

He wanted to kiss her.

He wanted to tell her how he felt.

He wanted to tell her he loved her.

But the words wouldn't come.

Natasha was the first to break the silence that had overtaken them. "So tomorrow…" she started, her tone still low but lighter than before.

"Tomorrow," he mimicked, clicking back into place and remembering what lay ahead of them. It was risky; unchartered territory. Steve trusted Tony and he trusted the science but it was like nothing they had ever attempted before. It was truly so much bigger than any of them could fathom.

"I'm going into space."

Her delivery pulled a soft laugh from him. "Yeah, you are."

"And you're going back to our first Avengers mission."

"That's gonna be…weird. And freaky. I gotta make sure I don't run into myself. Who knows what kind of ripples that could cause."

Her expression turned mischievous then. "Two Captain Americas in one place," she mused. "Doesn't sound half bad to me."

"Easy, Romanoff," he jested easily.

"Just be careful, that's all," Natasha said, the intent a joke but the result came off a little more serious. Her shoulders dropped then. "I know we know what we have to do, but it somehow feels like it's not going to be that easy. I can't shake that feeling."

Steve nodded in agreement. He'd been thinking that pretty much the whole time but he could never pass up the chance to get his friends back and restore the world to its proper order so he shoved the worries and the doubts to the back of his mind and became laser focused on the task at hand. It was only really now, as the woman before him confessed her reservations, that he felt that feeling, too. "Yeah, I've been feeling that as well. You be careful, too."

She lifted her chin. "How about we both promise to be careful?"

"Deal," he smiled and pumped her hand twice in assurance. He could get used to holding her hand; it seemed to fit so snugly in his, as though it belonged there.

"Good. I'm going to hold you to that, Rogers." Her smile was wider now and it reached her eyes, brightening up her whole face. "What do we do when we get back after all this? Everything's just going to be different. And weird – in a good way, but still weird."

He pondered that for a minute. And then, "I think it's time we get a life, don't you think?"

A dramatic, melodic sigh flowed from her. "I don't even know what that looks like."

"Neither do I but we'll figure it out. We always do."

Natasha bowed her head bashfully as she bit her bottom lip. "Yeah, we do."

His heart swelled.

After five years of living in this uncertain and confused state, Steve finally felt like things were turning a corner. He now pictured himself with a different life and a newfound sense of reason and identity. Captain America but better.

Hope was a very powerful thing.

But as much as he could have stayed there forever – and right there in that moment he genuinely felt like he could, he still had prep to do and a few notes to go over and he really wanted to spend some time gathering his thoughts and maybe drawing a little to ease the tension he could feel starting to build up in his muscles.

The sun had set now and the room was beginning to darken, dark shadows starting to make appearances.

"I think everyone's doing their own thing tonight so that movie night that Thor was pushing for is gonna be no-go," Steve eventually murmured.

"Yeah I think that's for the best. The last thing we all need before tomorrow is a war over what movie to watch," she quipped. " Save that for when we get back."

He peered down at their hands once more. "I'm gonna go and do a few last minute things for tomorrow. Turn in early."

A flicker of sadness crossed her face but as soon as it was there it was gone. "Well, you are an old man; must be hard to stay up late at your age."

"Ha-ha," he said dryly.

She bumped her shoulder against his playfully. "I got a few things I have to do, too. I don't know if I mentioned it but I'm going into space tomorrow."

He played along. "Space? Really?"

"Really. I'm not just your average spy, you know."

"I've never thought that for a second. There's nothing average about you."

She tenderly rubbed her thumb along his in response. "I suppose you're above average, too," she said with a wry smile.

A deep chuckle rumbled in his chest as he rose to his feet, breaking their contact. In an instant he felt cold, like he had lost a part of him. "See you tomorrow, Nat."

She gazed up at him with fresh eyes. "See you tomorrow, Steve."

When all of this was over, when they had won and brought everyone back, he was going to tell her how he felt. No holding back, no chickening out at the last minute, no more waiting around. He was tired of waiting and he was tired of pushing away his desires and wants.

He loved Natasha Romanoff and he was going to tell her.

And he was going to kiss her.

The rest they could figure out later.

Thanks for reading!