Running away had been a decision without much contemplation. On the bed in her room the bottle of vodka and the bottle of pills had sat untouched but beckoning.

Outside the night had whispered.

In the end it was the alcohol and the pills or the window. For reasons she could not fathom herself, she chose the window.

Perhaps that base stem in her brain where animal instinct thrummed was the only piece still working. The only part of her that reviled the thought of dying.

In the streets the lights flickered and died, spraying yellow pools of brightness like polka dots in a string on the sidewalk. She followed that until the polka dots were drowned by the flashing neon of night clubs and shuttered storefronts on cobblestone.

Sometimes people spoke, and it took time for her brain to register that it was directed at her. Not that it mattered, the words were unable to compete with the hubbub in her brain.

When the rain began she stared at the sky, letting it wash away the crusty paths salt had left on her cheeks, opening her mouth to let the liquid tap dance on the coarse dry thing that was her tongue.

This was fine, and she would have let it soak her had it not been for the flash of the lightning and the knife stab of memory it forced through her brain.

The steering wheel in her hands, the lurch as she tried to direct it, the incoming car flashing it's lights through the dark of a different rainy night, and the explosion of glass as the impact blew up her life.

It was the only shop open, the only lit doorway in the half empty block.

The door jingled to herald her entry, muffled by the shriek of battered metal and glass in her head as she pressed her forehead to the door, panting to catch her breath.

From the distance a voice called out to her, exasperated enough to draw her attention.

"We're closed!"

Hinata sipped air like she used to sip the cod liver oil her mother used to make her take in winter, distrusting its usefulness to her body as she turned.

A wall of… something, welcomed her. The place was chaos, made up of shades of brown and roan red and gray. Old suitcases, trunks with metal studded edges, armories detailed in delicate wood carvings, tea sets and metal wood stoves all in a mishmash reaching towards the roof made pathways barely lit by twinkle lights.

There were old toys and ugly dolls and endless rows of vinyl records and the smell of her damp unwashed body was for a moment warded off by the ancient perfume of things used and treasured but forgotten all the same.

"Hello?" The voice called again, impatient with her lack of response. Clearly they had been expecting at least the apologetic jingle of the door opening again to let her back out into the rain sodden street. "I said we're closed."

When he came out of the back Hinata was looking up, craning her neck to try to understand the patterns of ivys on the glass of an ancient chandelier strung from a pipe on the roofing. It was not lit but it twinkled still, reflecting the myriad of tiny lights that doused everything in a bright netting.

"Your… door said open." Hinata mumbled by way of excuse, aware that this was a feeble defense. She had no intention to buy anything anyway, there wasn't any money on her person and even if she had some, dragging an old thing home in the rain appealed to her about as much as leaving empty handed.

"My mistake. Still." The young man moved to the door, aiming to open it to ask her to leave, but that's when she turned to look at him.

There was nothing particularly beautiful about her. She had a decent nose, good cheekbones, a dry cracked desert of a mouth, made all the more simple by the downturn of her lips.

But in her eyes he found something that was familiar as the sun in the sky or the moon and stars. He paused, hand on the door knob and assessed her quietly as she too assessed him.

"You look as though you could use a cup of tea."

There was a lot of things which HInata could think of needing, a cup of tea did not rank all that high in the list, but if it kept her from the rain then perhaps she could figure out a way to drink it.

"Please."

The tea only lasted until midnight. The bottle he dragged out of the cupboard from behind the counter was unlabeled and amber colored. It smelled of licorice when it glugged unceremoniously into her used tea cup and when she downed it almost all at once it didn't burn so much as simmer down her throat.

Brow raised the young man who had introduced himself as Sasuke tipped her teacup back to her saucer before Hinata could down the rest. "Easy. This isn't a race and that isn't cheap."

"Nothing here is." Hinata admitted, although her tone didn't insinuate things were over priced. "Do you know what kind of things you have here?"

Sasuke sipped at his teacup. "Sure."

"Sure?" Hinata leaned against the counter and examined the stacks of things. "You wouldn't leave the door unlocked while you were in the back if you knew."

Maybe it was that her impending suicide made her tongue more loose than usual. Or perhaps it was the liquor or the muddled flashbacks that she was trying to keep at bay. Either way she sighed, resigned to feel the flush of heat that rushed to her neck and cheeks at her accusation.

Sasuke pretended not to notice the scarlet tone her skin had taken. "I wasn't the last to leave, my idiot co worker forgot to lock up after himself. But, lucky for you he did."

"Lucky me." Hinata breathed, then moved to take her "tea" again, stopping only when his hand pressed over her own. "Take it easy."

"I'll sip." She laughed, embarrassed by the scrutiny with which he watched her tip a mouthful past her lips. "There."

"So," He nodded his approval as she placed the cup back on it's saucer. "Are you going to tell me what has you thinking about dying?"

This was surprising, but only slightly. In the last hour and over the course of draining a whole teapot Hinata had learned a handful of things about Sasuke Uchiha. One, he didn't care about awkwardness, it appeared to have no affect on him. Two, he did not understand what small talk was, or made a point to avoid it. None of their chatter had been about the weather or her job or his job. Instead he had directed his question to the topics of her family, her friends and her feelings on them.

It had been all she could do to keep herself from divulging more than she wanted.

The third thing she was realizing about Sasuke however was : he could not be lied to.

She smiled, the kind of smile that came before a sob. "Are you aiming to make me cry, Sasuke? We've only just met, people usually get to know me before they get to score tears."

"Do a lot of people make you cry?" He slid a box of tissues across the counter. "Or am I just particularly skilled at it?"

"Ah well." She ripped a handful of tissues from the box, shoving her face into them to hide behind. "I've always been somewhat sensitive. Unlike the rest of them."

"Your family you mean?"

"Yes." She nodded, glad to not have to explain as she came back out from behind her protective wall of tissue. "It's a pity, since I am supposed to be the strongest."

Sasuke sipped at his teacup again, arm slung across his torso to support his elbow as he examined her like one would a mildly perplexing puzzle.

"That's not why you were looking for a way to end it tonight though."

"Who says I was?" Hinata tried to distract herself by swirling the contents of her teacup, breathing in the fumes that rose to her face. She didn't have to look at him to know her response had done little to dissuade him. Who knew? Perhaps there was something in the tangle of her hair or the twist of her lips or the paleness of her face that said suicidal.

Proving her true he laughed, dark with lack of humor. "You do."

Lifting her gaze Hinata dragged in a long breath, feeling it spike its way down her throat like a centipede before sighing. "Do I?"

"Your eyes." Said softly Sasuke cocked his head, looking at her face in a way that would have been too intimate for her to stand but for the fact he was nearly looking through her, past the heart shaped taper of her chin, and the smoothness of her brow to something else behind it.

"I've seen that look before." He settled his teacup on the counter between them before leaning his elbows on it, chin supported by his twined fingers. "It didn't end well."

It was morbid, and crass to say the thing that came to Hinata's mind and yet her mouth continued, perhaps loosened all the more by that half a teacup of alcohol so recently downed on an empty stomach. "Oh, so there's hope for me yet."

The flinch flickered on his face and she winced back, apologetic. "I'm sorry." Likely the person who had not ended well had ended up dead. Perhaps a friend, a sibling, a lover? Hanging her head, Hinata considered it was time to leave.

"No, you are not surprising me at all." He crossed his arms as he thought, biting his lip as he examined her some more. "The question is what to do with you."

"Do?" Smiling Hinata downed the rest of her teacup before he could object and moved to gather her purse only to remember she did not bring one. "There's nothing to do, Sasuke. Thanks for letting me invade your store. It sounds like the rain has stopped."

It had not, one glance at the front store windows told her so, but she steeled herself and took two steps that direction before feeling his grip on her wrist, gentle but firm.

"Promise me you will come back."

Hinata stared, contemplating. That seemed like a lot to promise, but then it also didn't matter. She did not owe him much, if anything. Perhaps a half bottle of whatever he had shared with her, a couple hours and some tea. She could just lie, agree and go about her merry way, back to the house and the pills and the vodka sitting patiently on her bed.

He would never have to know.

But there was something earnest in him too, dark eyes searching hers for honesty lined with long lashes, brows furrowing as he read her like a book.

Before she could lie or assure him of her return his grip had gone from gentle to tight. "You either stay here or I call 911 and restrain you until they come. Your choice."

Hinata felt her stiff back loosen as she sighed, dragging a hand through her matted hair. Usually this would have been the place in the story where she would have considered he was a serial killer and she had walked into his lap to be his next kill.

But being suicidal did have the advantage of making such fears much less sharp, tempered as they were by her own lack of care.

"I guess I'm staying then."

It turned out the building had two floors. Storefront below, apartment above. The difference in the air quality was noticeable even as they climbed the stairs. Where everything long lived and decaying continued it's snail crawl decomposition below upstairs Hinata could think of no other way to describe the scent above but green.

When he opened the door she didn't wonder why anymore.

Tangles of vine, succulents in pots, long stemmed lilies, lavender in round lolli shaped bushes stood on all available surfaces. Hinata blinked repeated in the lights as he turned them on. Lamps here and there, spreading out their warmth gently. The windows across the back blinked and hummed with the artificial glow of the city and the stars in the sky.

They also reflected her image back to her, shadowy and dark but sharp enough for her to wince. She looked like a street urchin.

Sasuke had disappeared around a corner past what looked like the living room and kitchen, small enough both to fit into the foyer of her home but so much more alive. He had anchored iron trellises onto the white painted brick walls and the vines climbed it, blooming white in places though they looked rather sleepy in the artificial light.

Turning the corner revealed that the apartment was indeed small. Very small. The nook beyond the tiny table and two chairs by the window housed a door which Hinata assumed led to the bathroom, and a ladder onto a loft. Sasuke moved about there, arranging pillows, pulling blankets.

Making a bed.

"Is the shop yours?" Hinata asked, because thinking about the bed, and him on it made something in the back of her mind squirm uncomfortably.

"No...or...yes. It was my Mothers. She lost interest soon after acquiring most of the stock."

"Lost interest." Hinata pondered. There were no pictures on the walls, only plants and so she could not find anything to reference this mother he spoke of. Did she look like him, she wondered. Was he as dark eyed and beautiful as her?

"It annoyed my father when it was hers." Sasuke climbed back down the stairs, arms full of sheets and blankets that he unceremoniously tossed on the ground. "It enrages him that it is mine now, and honestly that's why I keep it."

This was so unexpected Hinata blinked at him a moment before allowing herself a laugh. "You keep it to enrage him." It was not a question so much as a confirmation she had heard right and he allowed himself a smirk in response as he offered a handful of neatly folded items to her. "Well, if you knew my father you would understand."

"I enrage mine without much effort." Hinata paused, watching him turn to her, as if catching on to the thread of what might be clues to her current state of disaster. Clamping her mouth shut she examined the clothes in her arms instead. "What's this?"

"The bathroom is there." He gestured to the only door. "Shower, if you like."

Hinata didn't move, examining the clothes for a long moment before murmuring softly. "This… cannot help in the long run, you know? Eventually I will leave and then what?"

Sasuke slid his hands into his pockets, thinking back on the conversation he had once had with his brother, such a similar conversation it had been.

"Then I kept you alive for a night longer than you would have had otherwise." He replied. "And I refuse to think that is a waste."

There was no arguing with such thoughts, so different as they were from HInata's own and so she sighed and moved to the bathroom to do as he bade.

The first night she slept in the bed on the loft, aware that no door kept him from her and that although they were quiet their shifting and shuffling signalled a lack of sleep. Even when the sun began to rise, causing the plants to stretch higher Hinata's eyes lingered sleepless on the place on the wooden floor where the loft ladder leaned.

A tiny primal part of her brain said he would rise there and then perhaps he would inflict pain, because who was kind enough to take care of a mentally unstable stranger for a whole night without having bad intentions?

But he never did, and when the sun was too high to ignore the first sounds of movement from the kitchen made her sit.

"So how much did you sleep?" His voice called to her from the kitchen, the click click click of the gas turning on coming with the metal on metal of the kettle settling above it. "Little or none at all?"

"A little." Hinata offered her lie as she arranged his clothes on her body before dragging her fingers through her hair in an attempt to tame the wildness. Sleeping with wet hair was something her Mother had once taught her not to do and which she had adhered to for most of her life. Now she had no mother and therefore no one but her Father to disappoint and her hair had hardly been a bone of contention. Not with so much else in hand.

"So none at all then." Sasuke translated easily. "Not surprised."

Climbing slowly down the ladder Hinata turned to find him scooping coffee grounds into a French press delicately, dark eyes flickering to her and away only to snap back, a smirk flashing over his mouth. "You might want to glance in the mirror."

Hinata sighed, hugging herself tightly as she examined his perfectly groomed ensemble before shaking her head. "I'm fairly sure I look homeless, I don't need to confirm it."

His laugh was not cruel as he stirred the grounds in the hot water before placing the lid on the French press. "Well come." He said, motioning to the couch.

Hinata sat, shivering slightly and was surprised to find a blanket draped over her shoulders before his hand pulled at her hair gently, tucking it behind her ears and back.

Stiff now, and wide eyed she stared at the white brick wall and the opening blooms on the trellis there for some distraction.

"...w...what are you-?"

"You have tangles." He replied before she could finish. "Bad ones. Either we cut it or you sit there and let me untangle it by hand. No brush or comb will get through this."

Hinata had felt them the night before, and therefore knew he wasn't joking. In the shower the shampoo and conditioner had done little to unravel the mess and she had not been up to caring that it lingered. Probably the tossing and turning of the night had only helped in making it worse. A thought occurred to her then, that her Father with his firm belief in what his children needed to look like would be mortified to find her hair short.

It would be, perhaps the one thing ever she had done to enrage him on purpose. "Sure." She nodded. "Cut it."

If he was hesitant to do such a thing he didn't show it, gathering the scissors and brush as though this was routine. Sitting calmly on the couch Hinata considered the fact that he had hair elastics, and pondered if a girl had left them. Before she could ask he began to talk.

"My older brother used to grow out his hair regularly." He murmured. "This used to be his apartment." He tied her hair back into sections, with the tangles below the elastic, tapping her cheek to explain the length it would be and she nodded quickly. "He only lived here for a short while, but its the only place that has felt like home in years, so I stay."

The first snip made Hinata pause, examining herself to see if there was panic at the fact a relative stranger was cutting her hair but nothing flared inside her but curiosity.

"You could go somewhere else?" She pondered this, and wondered where else she could go. Home didn't feel like home either, not anymore. There were halls and doors and furniture and there was silence, broken only when Father returned from the hospital or when he left.

Sometimes there was screaming, when he decided he should check in on her to see what kind of stupidity she had got herself into.

"To my Father's house." Sasuke admitted, snipping another ponytail of hair off. Tidily he placed them on her lap and she played with the frayed and messy ends. "But that is not home. Even though my mother is there."

Hinata thought of her house, of the bedrooms that had once been occupied and now were empty. A thought flickered to life in her mind as she thought of Neji.

"Where is your brother?"

Sasuke paused, drew a long breath that made her think he was steeling himself and walked around to face her, brushing down across her forehead to smirk. "You used to have bangs once."

"Right there." Hinata nodded, pressing a finger at her brows. "Think you can do it?"

"I hardly think you care." He examined her through the tangle of her hair, noting things although what she could not say what, before he nodded. "Don't move, ok?"

"Promise." she nodded, earning a flick on the ear for her trouble. "Ouch!"

"I said don't move."

When he finished, her hair so long for so much of her life hung at her chin, a curtain of black not tangled and helpless but straight, with potential for growth.

"Hm." She hummed, cocking her head in the mirror. From the kitchen Sasuke called over the sound of something sizzling in the pan.

"Did I mess it up?"

"No." Hinata didn't even have to lie. "I look… normal."

That was a first in a while.

Over breakfast Sasuke said, "My brother died here."

Hinata let her fork freeze in her pile of scrambled egg, looking up to find him uninterested in her reaction. Instead he focused on slathering a piece of toast in butter before handing it to her.

Memory of him the night before discussing seeing the look in her eyes previously on someone else made swallowing her mouthful difficult. Taking the offering cautiously Hinata breathed out. "I...I'm s-"

"Don't be." Sasuke shook his head. "Itachi didn't suffer, the doctors saw to it. He was prepared to go." Dark eyes flicked to her then. "Unlike some people."

Flushing at the accusation Hinata lowered her toast without taking a bite. "You… you could hardly know if I was ready or not." And she thought quite firmly that this must be true. How could he after all? He had no idea of the hell the last year had been or the accumulating bits of hell that had grown to a mountain as the time passed, only ever bearable because of Neji and Hanabi's presence.

He could not know how opening her eyes in the morning felt worse than the nightmares she woke from.

"Agree to disagree." He scoffed, not exactly encouraging peace. "Anyway, near the end they didn't know how long he would take to die and so I stayed here with him." He sipped his coffee. "Until the end."

Hinata ignored the fact that he had never left.

"I….I don't understand." She murmured, rubbing her hands on her pants only realizing too late that they were actually his pants she was wearing and the butter stains might not come out. "Is he who you spoke of yesterday? When you said it didn't end well?" She pressed her lips thinly together, hoping he would remember.

"No." Sasuke almost laughed, spearing a strawberry on his fork before promptly shaking it off on to her plate. Without asking he took a fried cherry tomato in exchange.

"I was talking about me."

***

Having left her cell phone at home made hearing the sound of one ringing startling. For a moment a flare of panic erupted and died out as she realized there would be no rushing to answer. It had been a long time since anyone called her anyway. So long she wasn't even sure she knew where her phone was.

Perhaps part of the reason no one called then was that it was in fact dead. The thought didn't bother her long.

Washing dishes in Sasuke's sink she listened as he picked up, voice annoyed but in a way that made her think it was mostly for show.

"Are you kidding me?"

Someone answered hotly back, loud and energetic before Sasuke sighed. "Well I don't want you throwing up in the shop, that's for sure."

Another round of loud replies chattered from his phone and he glanced over at Hinata, squinting thoughtfully at her disarmed confused face before he sighed. "Maybe I have a solution. No, no Sakura- god. If you tell her to come here I will fire you, she broke a mirror last time she was here and she wasn't even in the store for longer than five minutes….. No, I mean it. I'll figure it out."

Hanging up he chewed on his cheek as he examined her again, watching her drying her hands on the dish towel.

"Well… I… I should probably go." She murmured, glancing at the clock to find it already at the ten in the morning mark. "You have work to do and I-"

"How likely are you to want to stay to help?" He raised the phone before chucking it on the couch. "The idiot just called in sick."

Having just had breakfast, still wearing his clothes, and with a new hair cut Hinata tried to think of a way to say no and found little forthcoming from her brain.

"I guess so."

It made it difficult to come up with an excuse when the person who was asking for your help knew you planned to off yourself. For one thing, previous engagements were not an option, since what could be so pressing when you were planning to die anyway?

"Thanks for staying." Sasuke said, after explaining what each corner of the store generally had before admitting it would take time to actually know. He hardly knew what was beneath piles himself.

"No problem." Hinata looped her arms behind her back as she followed him down a twisting corridor of knick knacks and shelves to the front counter. "Not a lot on my schedule."

"Except a noose maybe?" He was hardly teasing but she let herself laugh without much humor. It felt a little strange, discussing her thoughts so blandly. It took a lot of effort not to correct him. Hinata was not exactly great at tolerating pain, although she had for a lot of her life. No, if she was going to go through with the plan, it would be as painless as possible, hence the vodka and pills. If she could knock back both in quick succession the hope was she would be too far gone before everything started going to sleep permanently. The only thing was hoping someone didn't find her out before it was over, she had heard getting your stomach pumped was no picnic.

But saying this out loud sounded like a good way to have him calling 911 like he threatened before and having her taken away to a hospital.

And she could not survive that.

"You don't look like the noose type though." He admitted, unaware that she considered her own thoughts too terrible to voice, though as he spoke her own sounded tamer and tamer.

"A bridge then?" He studied her face as they entered the back of the front counter and he began to leaf through a tiny drawer lined with yellow cards written on with different colored pens.

"I never liked the feel of falling." Hinata shook her head. "No."

"It's not the falling you should worry about." Sasuke continued mildly, pulling out a handful of cards to lay out. "It's the impact cracking you open like an egg. Sometimes, more often than people think, it doesn't even work."

"You're trying to dissuade me." Hinata smiled, something in her stomach fluttering as she studied his face so focused on the work on the counter. "I do...appreciate that."

"Do you?" Sasuke frowned, glancing at her with a lack of patience that had been missing in his voice coming through as he glared. "Why?"

Hinata blinked, trying to think. Why indeed? Was it nice having someone give a damn for once? Even if it was someone she hardly knew? That seemed frivolous in the face of what they were discussing. Frivolous because in the end when she achieved her goal he would be left with nothing but the conversation and the failure it had been.

Suddenly, staying to help seemed like a very bad idea.

"Don't answer that." he cut in, watching as the thoughts popped and sparked in her pale eyes, tightening her jaw. "So, today I have a handful of orders to fill out for people picking up, and a movie crew coming through to pick through things for a set." He rolled his eyes. "Of all the days for that idiot to call in sick. I'm going to work on the orders because I will need to find each item, but you can help me so long as no one comes in the door. Do you mind dealing with the customers who do walk in?"

Hinata minded, quite a bit. The idea of saying hello and being welcoming to people sounded exhausting but before she could even formulate a way to say this Sasuke threw her an apron from the hooks that lined the back. "Ready?"

"I… yes," She answered, because what else could she really say. And he let his lips twist into a rueful smile. "Don't sound so terrified. If death doesn't scare you, old ladies looking for cast iron pans should hardly be a challenge."

Hinata had just a second to look mildly offended before he turned to unlock the front door, twisting the sign from Closed to Open.

If he wasn't trying to save her life, she might even think he was terrible.

The movie crew had brought lunch for them, which Sasuke said was a way for them to try to sweeten them up before they haggled the prices down. Hinata had come in handy then, largely because she knew more about antiques than most did and because with the knowledge she offered Sasuke was a savage salesman.

When the crew finally left he invited her to dinner, to celebrate what was likely the best sale they had made in a year.

Climbing the stairs back up didn't feel strange and potentially dangerous on the third or fourth trip. Hinata had rushed upstairs for Sasuke's phone when a customer had not let him be and he had worried he was missing calls from the movie crew. She had used the washroom once, and made them both tea halfway through the evening.

Climbing the stairs again to the apartment almost felt like a break and she hesitated at the door to find him tossing his sweater over his head onto the couch. "What would you like for dinner? I was thinking pizza."

Leaning uncertainly against the couch Hinata thought back to the kitchen at home and all the times her sister had tried to knead the dough, annoyed when it hardened under her furious massage.

"I do love making it."

Sasuke glanced over his shoulder at her, catching the edge of her faraway thoughts before she dragged herself back to the present. "That's what we will do then."

It was another thing to do it than to say it. Sasuke was not exactly a natural cook. "No." Hinata began, a touch of despair in her voice as she watched him press on the flour, water, and oil, squishing out a tablespoon of the liquid over his counter.

"You said squish."

"I said mix." She half laughed half wailed, gently tapping his hip with her own before pushing her hands into the bowl. "Let me."

"What does it matter how it mixes?" Sasuke sounded indifferent although he eyed the method of her fingers as they massaged the mass of flour until a lump began to form, smooth and stretchy smelling faintly of beer from the yeast.

"Gluten." She replied. "It matters because of gluten, if you overmix it can become too dense."

"Ah." Sasuke leaned on the counter, studying the method of her hands covering the dark surface in flour before plopping the dough onto it and beginning to knead. "You've done this often."

"I used to." Hinata admitted, gathering the dough she had kneaded wide back into a ball before continuing. "My sister she-" and she stopped.

Sasuke didn't move, not his body, nor the air in his lungs, nor his eyes from her face as she lowered her hands in a heap onto the dough.

"Hanabi likes pizza because she can put whatever she likes on it." Hinata whispered, lowering her head to hide her eyes. "She likes all the things I hate. Anchovies and olives and hot peppers in vinegar and when we make pizza she can have what she likes and make me something I like too, so to her its...it's win win."

Softly Sasuke reached out to wipe the tear that slid down her cheek with his thumb. "She likes to make you happy."

"She has had to settle for a little less than that. She likes, at least to be fair." Hinata sniffed, gathering herself together quick as one would gather a spilled pile of paper on the ground. "Anyway, what… what do you like on your pizza?" Plopping the dough in the bowl she covered it with the dishcloth to rise. "We should get the toppings ready."

"Tomatoes." Sasuke said without pause. "If I could put bourbon on there I would do that too but that seems unacceptable."

"Ah." Hinata allowed herself to smile despite the pain gnawing at her insides. "I can get bourbon on there if you let me show you how."

It was late when the shop closed, and later still when the pizza was finished. Hinata found herself laughing at Sasuke's few but deeply felt reiterations of thanks for the meal he had intended to gift her only to have her gifting him.

Bourbon caramelized onions on a pizza had never occurred to him. In fact it sounded like a fire hazard. The flames that sparked on the pan had not encouraged him to think otherwise but the end result was so delicious he had forgiven her for endangering all the very dry combustible antiques in the shop below.

The pizza had been worth it.

"Do you want tea?"

Cleaning up the mess they had made cooking took time, cooking itself took time, letting him weasel out her favorite toppings and foods took time.

Hinata glanced at the dark sky, leg tapping rhythmically beneath the table as he pulled out a mug for himself and examined her quiet face.

"Sasuke…" she breathed, mouth sad. "I should go."

With both mugs in hand Sasuke paused, as if considering her statement. "Should or want to?" He questioned, putting the kettle to go. Now familiar with his way of stalling Hinata allowed herself a smile.

"Should."

"Who says?"

"I do."

"Well, you're not all that rational about what you should and shouldn't do."

"Do not call me irrational!"

The barest hint of surprise registered on Sasuke's face at her snap. It had not been a scream exactly, but something told him it was as close to one as Hinata ever got.

"I would never call you irrational." He picked up the kettle, frowning as he poured water into the mugs. "That's not what I meant."

"My thoughts aren't irrational either"

"One of those thoughts is that you should die." Sasuke's voice had not changed as he stirred sugar into her tea, a splash of milk, more stirring. "You're going to tell me that's rational?"

The shower had helped her face in a myriad of ways. The haircut had loosened some of the homelessness aesthetic she had been owning, but it did a poor job of assisting her as the flush of both embarrassment and anger surged up her neck, flooding her cheeks in heat.

"There's times when quitting is the best option."

"Like smoking, say?" Sasuke continued lightly, making a cool collected joke of her statement. "Note, that is to keep you alive."

"Like when you were driving and crashed the vehicle with your little sister and brother in it. Like when your brother died because you couldn't calm down enough to stop the bleeding. Like when your sister...your sister…" Hinata bowed her head all the way to the table, shoulders shaking.

The two mugs tapped on the table, and the clink of the spoon told her he was stirring still. Through her sobs the sound of the tea sliding towards her made her sit up, watching him passing her the tea towel to mop up her face, aware numbly that it surely needing quite a bit of mopping.

Sasuke waited until her sobs were no longer wrecking her, sipping at his tea until she looked at him accusingly and he sighed gently back.

"How were you planning to do it?" He whispered, as though she were a woodland creature easily startled.

Hinata blinked at him slowly, swollen eyes puzzled as they examined his face for traces of disgust or sympathy. She found only tiredness. They had neither of them slept much, if she recalled.

"They gave me pills." She whispered. "For sleeping. They give me a weeks worth at a time, in case I…" she waved a hand in a self explanatory way. "...so I hid them for awhile. Now, there's plenty."

"And Hanabi?" Her sister's name coming out of Sasuke's mouth was such a startle that she jumped, despite his attempt to keep quiet, underlining the possibility that she was indeed some fawnish creature from the woods. "What do you think she would say about your plan?"

Hinata's smile was tired. "It doesn't matter. She can't have an opinion if she's brain dead. Which, in case you didn't catch on, she is."

"But you know what it would be." Sasuke pressed, unperturbed by the disturbing things she was admitting to. "You know what she would say."

Leaning back in her chair Hinata thought, fiddling with the kitchen towel in her hand and the mug's handle in the other.

Of course she knew what she would say, the cat spitting hiss of Hanabi's words as they rained from her mouth. It wouldn't be past her little sister to slap her either, for her thoughts, let alone her intention to go through with them.

Selfish would be the theme of the speech.

"You think you owe them." He pressed his hand over hers on the mug, pushing it all towards her in an indication to drink. "And you do."

Frowning, Hinata sipped at the tea automatically scalding her tongue with the sweetness.

"Probably you should at least figure out what you owe them, no? Before you decide to tap out."

For a time they sat quiet, sipping their tea, listening as the other thought. When he rose and began to turn the lights out she didn't question it, watching as he threw blankets on his couch and then cocked his head at her, brow raised.

"Are you going to watch me change or are you going upstairs?"

This was enough to make her scramble to her feet, climbing the ladder to his bedroom with her face hot and her eyes still red from crying.

When she flopped on the mattress, hugging the pillows it took a moment before she heard him whisper, "Good night."

She woke not to the sound of breakfast starting but an argument of sorts.

"Will you be quieter please?"

"What? You have a guest?" This was said with a decided tone of disbelief followed by a surprised gasp. "You actually do?"

"Let her sleep or I will smack you so hard your grandchildren will see stars."

"Okay, okay," Whispering now the voice was still plenty loud to hear but trying. "Who is it?"

"None of your business."

"Come. On. You have to tell me at least-"

"She's a friend. Now, if you're done begging for another day off, go away."

"Sasuke, come on-"

The door closing and the lock being firmly put in place had Hinata peeking past the half dividing wall near the ladder, catching sight of Sasuke as he came around the corner.

"Oh, damnit. He woke you up."

"No." Hinata lied, blinking at him, tousled and half asleep even though he could hardly see half her face. "I was up already."

"Oh yes." He agreed sarcastically. "Early bird, are you?"

Sasuke looked like an early bird. He was showered, dressed and judging from that mug of coffee in one hand and the toast in the other he had been halfway through breakfast before she had heard anything. Either he was eerily stealthy or she had slept deeper than she had in a long time.

"What time is it?"

"Time to open up. You are quite comfortable in the kitchen, so while I do that I will leave you to make yourself some breakfast. Grab whatever you want." He paused, coming back around the corner to add. "Not the leftover pizza, I want that for lunch."

The smile surprised her, not because she had not smiled in so long she was not that kind of depressive but because it went from smile to grin to full on laugh as he stepped out the door. And there was nothing self deprecating about it.

Touching her cheeks tentatively in confusion she slid down the ladder and to the kitchen, considering not bothering with breakfast and perhaps sneaking out the moment she heard Sasuke preoccupied with a customer.

The thought of him finding the apartment empty when he came to check on her however made her stomach drop to her toes and instead she poured herself a cup of coffee leftover in the french press and stood by the window, contemplating the city waking.

The last two days of rain had turned to sunshine. Blue sky stretched out painted with characteristic white clouds for a beautiful day. Below cars and people moved in rapid but comfortable speeds and she considered that taking the bus home would take her about half an hour tops.

Suddenly the image of her hand on the doorknob of the giant house, bracketed by the pillars that stood on either side was nauseating. Opening the door would reveal a dark empty cavern of a home, a long hall like a monstrous throat emptying into a kitchen devoid of food or movement. Silence everywhere.

Hesitantly Hinata turned back to the kitchen in Sasuke's apartment, eyeing the fridge before opening it to squint at the ingredients inside. Just to kill time she began to pull out eggs, mushrooms, spinach.

Somehow she had ended up in an apron again.

"Thank you dear." The old lady before her looked like she could be an ad for dentures. A map of wrinkles, old fashioned cat eye make up, fluffy white hair and sparkling unnatural teeth too white to be anything but manufactured.

Hinata smiled back, tight lipped, uncomfortable with displaying her own teeth for reasons too strange to articulate. "You're welcome, have a nice day."

Sasuke's voice calling her name as she washed dishes upstairs had made her start, thinking something was wrong she had abandoned the soapy water and stumbled down with only a quick finger comb of her hair to make her presentable.

His smirk graced her at the bottom of the steps and patting down her flyaway hair he had motioned to the couple of older gentlemen and the lady that came with them meandering through the crowded aisles. "Can you help them out? I have to get this order in before the UPS guy comes by to do pick up, and he will be here in like-"

From the back the knock, knock, knock of someone in a hurry sounded and he groaned, turning to her desperately.

"Uh…" she began, "Sure."

"Thanks." Startling her Sasuke rubbed at her cheek, right at the corner of her almond shaped eye and sighed. "Salt will irritate your skin if you leave it there. Once they're gone go back up and wash your face, okay?"

He didn't wait to hear her say anything in reply, gone and shouting at the knocking at the back door grouchily.

With the old lady gone and the gentlemen busy with the vinyl records Hinata wandered to the back, passing over a door framed by shelves covered in an assortment of books and metal signs.

The back room smelled different than the display area. Here was sawdust and paint thinner and wood stain. Tools littered the walls in much the same way that antiques littered the front. A large work table overcame the space however, and beneath stacks and stacks of unfolded boxes where Sasuke put the items that were ordered from their website to be delivered by mail. He was just cleaning up the mess of the last packing job as she walked in.

"Sorry to drag you into the shop again." He glanced at her as he worked. "Usually there's two of us."

"Right." HInata recalled the argument in the morning but did not ask for more information. "I don't mind, actually."

"You're hired then." Sasuke grumbled. "I should just fire him anyway."

"Please don't."

"I'm joking…. Sort of. Even if I did fire him he would probably be here every other day."

Sensing for the first time that his irritation with this person was about as real as her calm she blinked. "He's your friend."

"Mm." Sasuke's response left something to be desired. "Of sorts. Friends come and go, he's a little like the weather. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, always there."

"Why did you want to kill yourself?"

The fact that this was about as related to their conversation as mud didn't seem to faze Sasuke in the slightest. Without bothering to look at her face to see it's expression he continued to wipe down his work surface, tossing recycling and trash in their designated bins.

"Same reason you're thinking about it, I assume."

"What reason is that?"

"I couldn't figure out how staying alive was worth it."

Hinata breathed in deep the scent of wood and chemical through flared nostrils.

"Worth what?"

"Worth enduring the pain of just existing." He looked up at her, as though confused. "Isn't that what the problem is? It hurts too much to just…"

"Be." Hinata looked down, surprised to find her hand pressed flat to her own chest, as though trying to keep the organs inside of her when they were so determined to get out. That's what it felt like, when she held the image of her sister hooked up to monitors in the hospital in her mind, her chest rising and falling to the rhythm of the machine next to her. It was all the worse when the cemetery that held her brother's body followed that thought, the casket encased in dirt wriggling with worms and other creatures, aching to get at his flesh.

Sasuke did not say more, although he stopped to study her, watching as her face flickered like a candle flame, fluctuating between pain and disgust and confusion.

"Hello?" Someone called from the store front and Sasuke moved towards the door.

"No… no it's okay, I have it." Hinata stepped back, startled by the fear of him getting too close. "I'll get it."

He let her go, and did not comment when she took the time upstairs to wash her face carefully to get rid of the trails of salt her tears left lest they leave marks of pain on her skin.