Not many people knew this, but hearing Lucy Heartfilia moan is like hearing an angel sing. Like hearing Apollo strum his lyre. Like the most beautiful song in the entire world.

Of course, nobody had told Fairy Tail this – probably because they never asked.

It starts off innocent, of course. Natsu and Gray were fighting, Erza was sitting at the bar eating a piece of strawberry cake, Mira was chatting up Master Makarov, and Levy was hunched over a book. Oh, and Lucy, who was sitting at a table, groaning and rubbing her shoulders.

"Eh, Lucy," Wendy asked, walking up to her. "Are you alright?"

Lucy looked up at the blue-haired girl. "What? Oh, of course! I'm just a little stiff, that's all."

Wendy immediately brightened up. "Is that so? I've been learning some massage techniques, and I think that they might help you!"

Lucy blinked. "O-oh? Uh, sure, why not?"

The sky dragon-slayer grinned. "Okay!"

Positioning herself behind the Celestial Wizard, she said, "Let me know if you want me to stop," and began kneading her back.

For a couple of minutes, Lucy gently moved in sync with Wendy's hand movements, melting into the warm and pleasurable sensation.

It happened when her thumb found this spot right there in the middle of her back – that made pain shoot up her neck before disappearing – that a moan slipped out of Lucy's mouth, and every single sound in the guildhall just… stopped.

Levy looked up from her book, Erza spun from her cake so fast that it was a wonder that she didn't get whiplash, Mira and Master Makarov froze in their conversation, and Gray and Natsu just lay there on the floor, fists inches away from each other's faces.

Laxus craned his head to glance at the pair, twin jets of blood began streaming from Macao and Wakaba's noses, Gajeel and Lily's aggressive game of cards came to a halt, and Juvia's face slackened as she stared at her self-proclaimed 'love rival'.

Max and Warren tumbled out of their seats, Elfman and Lisanna's intense discussion with Laki quieted down, Kinana almost dropped the plate that she was holding, and Happy's mouth fell open.

Droy choked on what he was eating, which prompted Jet to lightly thump him on his back, not taking his eyes off the duo. Vijteere lost his balance, Reedus's sketchbook clattered out of his lap, Alzack and Bisca blinked simultaneously, eyes wide, and Cana had to actually put down her beer bottle because of the sheer beauty of the sound that had come out of Lucy Heartfilia's mouth.

Wendy's hands had stopped their ministrations, hovering over Lucy's pale shoulders. She had never heard her teammate make such a sound before – she hadn't heard anybody, for the matter – and she had no clue what it meant, but it made heat crawl up her neck and stain her cheeks red.

The blonde mage's eyes remained closed, and only blinked open when she realized that she couldn't feel Wendy's hands. "Eh, Wendy, is something wrong?"

Wendy's blushed darkened, and she stuttered out, "N-no! O-of course n-not!"

The day continued on as usual, with Wendy resuming to knead Lucy's shoulder, and Erza eating her cake, and Natsu and Gray getting in another fight.

But if anybody noticed the guildhall collectively giving Lucy Heartfilia fleeting glances, well, you didn't hear it from me.

Well, this was complete crack. And not what I was expecting to write at 1 in the morning. I honestly wasn't even expecting to be awake at 1. Insomnia is a bitch.

-Aztec