PLEASE READ: This changes point of views half way, I feel like it's a natural change, but honestly I started off writing as Mirage, but it didn't suit where I wanted to go, plus I really wanted to have a crack at the voices, so I switched. Sorry, I hope it doesn't throw everything off, this is my first Apex fic. I always seem to write a sick!fic first as for some reason that helps me get into the headspace of the characters better. I'm weird, sorry.

I intend on making this a series, but they'll all be individual one-shots so can be read as a standalone! Some of them will be dark as that is my style and to be honest I really think that anything to do with Wraith is suited to that. I also plan to build the relationship throughout the series, so this is just my starting point. I also have not used the name, Renee, here. There's a reason for that, stick around to find out.

Constructive criticism is always welcome, I learned the character's backstory from a YouTube video so please, let me know if I got anything wrong! I am pretty new to the game in general, but if you wanted to say hello, I play on PS4 and my gamer tag is: FiadhFajita, just let me know in a message where you're coming from! I main Wraith and my second is Wattson. (Ps, don't judge my gun choices)
Enjoy!

-0-

Wraith was always the strong, stoic and silent type, but today she was pale and scattered. Whatever was bothering her had almost gotten her killed three times already. Her skin was pale and sweaty but watching her closely, Elliott could have sworn she was shivering.

"You doing ok over there?" he asked. Administering a shield battery stolen from a dead enemy's box he narrowed his eyes at her .

"Three squads left, Mirage, we have a job to do." The reply came through clenched teeth, though in annoyance or pain Elliott wasn't entirely sure.

It was all a game out there in the ring, they both knew that. Everyone came back afterwards, beaten and sore, but alive. The deaths aren't real, just a state of limbo until after the winner is decided but that doesn't mean they don't care about winning, losers are eventually sent home from the games. Some people didn't go home at all, not really. No matter how the games were played, it was still a bloodsport. Killing in cold blood wasn't easy, feeling yourself hurt time or downed time after time fucked them all up. The pain and fear they felt when downed and bleeding out was the same as if you were actually dying.

They both needed the games in one way or another. He'd seen it first hand from family members, life afterward was different. Although the deaths weren't real, the injuries were. They had all signed up for a reason and it wasn't just easy money any more.

Wraith was there for answers, trying desperately to piece together any links to her past that could be found within the arenas. He to try and make his mother proud, when she knew who he was that is.

Their third, Lifeline, a young combat medic had joined out of a need to prove herself.

"She be lookin' sick, and not the type our med kits can fix."

Ajay's comment was flippant and held no malice, but the glare it received from the aforementioned party was almost enough to send her into the void without any help. Lifeline didn't cow down to it though, pocketing some extra ammo and a new hop up for her triple take with a small smile.

"Playing whilst you want to vomit, we've all been there. Not fun. Usually more alcohol involved though, unless you're sneaking tipples when no one's looking."

"M'fine, let's go." Wraith's hair was messy, always up in a bun or ponytail, but today it seemed to be escaping from every side of her head. Sticking to her forehead.

It had almost gotten her killed once this match, Mirage thought, flopping down into her eyes and sending her running headlong into an angry Loba. He'd taken care of her from a rooftop above. The Loba was the last of that squad.

Then there had been the portal ending at the edge of a ship and almost launching them off the map. The third strike was accidentally void running into the middle of a three squad battle instead of just waiting for the rest of her team. Mirage had dragged her back out of it barely, but when questioned, her answer had been that she lost her grip on the void.

It just wasn't like her. She may have been brave to a fault, but she wasn't careless.

And now, with another battle raging around them, they had mere seconds to recoup their composure before it would be time to go out there and face the final squad. They wouldn't give the final squad a chance to recover like they themselves had time to now. As soon as the announcement of two squads left came over the loudspeakers, they would go in all guns blazing hoping to catch the other team weak.

Which they did.

It should have been an easy wipe. The Octane was a one shot and down, the Pathfinder was quick but not able to keep up with the incessant fire of both Mirage and Wraith aimed at him simultaneously. Her aim was off, arms flashing the purple smoke that he associated with the void and her shield was all but gone from damage done to her. Normally he'd see her flashing in and out of the void. Today she was stood still, an easy target.

"Witt, I can't find the third. Neither of these have self revives so where the fuck are they?" Wraith snapped, tone harsh from the heat of the moment rather than annoyance. "Voices, now would be perfect time to be use-"

Her statement was never finished. The flash of a bullet hitting her shoulder combined with a silencer sent her staggering backwards towards the ground. Her whole body spasmed an uncontrolled mixture of purple and orange. When she didn't immediately jump back up Elliott felt his heart sink, but Lifeline pinging the location of the Revenant dragged him out of his own head. Suddenly he was all action, putting himself between Wraith and the Revenant he emptied a full clip of his Spitfire into the advancing opponent .

Between himself and Ajay the final opposing player fell, Mirage turning to celebrate with Wraith who though downed before, would now be able to rise again.

But she didn't.

The silencer had worn off, but she remained huddled in the foetal position against the nearby building, her whole body crackling with sparks of the void. Parts of her flickered as though it called to her but she couldn't quite grasp it.

"Wraith?" Mirage asked, rushing over to her, suddenly terrified. "What's going on?"

"My head, I can't," she replied shakily, "I just need to go. Please. Home."

"Okay. It's ok I got you," Mirage told her softly, sliding his arms beneath her body and lifting her, always surprised by how slight she was. It spoke volumes to how she felt that instead of protesting and making a damsel joke, she just crushed her eyes closed and curled herself into his chest, her fists clenched and her small frame shaking as she appeared to fight the void.

"I can't control it, the voices, make them stop. Make them stop, please, Elliott make it stop."

Her voice was quiet, but nearing hysterical as Wraith repeated her plea over and over. Mirage couldn't remember if he'd ever seen her like this. Wraith with a cold was growly and irritated, but this was different.

"We need to go now," Ajay told him sternly, "she needs to be somewhere dark and quiet. I've seen her like this before."

Mirage nodded, following her without question towards the drop ship waiting to take them home. Wraith mumbled incoherently the whole way, flinching when she was jostled. Sometimes the moment sent her fully into the void and Mirage would stumble without the weight, before she re-appeared a second or two later. The drop ship seemed to take a lifetime to arrive, but they both hurried on board and over to the small med bay. Ajay pulled back the sheets on the gurney and motioned for Mirage to lay Wraith down but the small raven haired woman shook her head frantically and clung to his clothing pushing her face further into his chest as though she could hide from whatever it was that ailed her.

Looking over at Lifeline he shrugged helplessly and took a seat on the floor, knees bent to support Wraith's body. She seemed calmer on the ship, but her whole frame trembled and sweat dotted her forehead. The mumbling had ceased, but her breathing was laboured.

"You said you've seen this before? What the hell is this?" Mirage asked, gently tucking a few stray hairs behind the ear of the woman in his arms.

"She's sick, she don't treat it, the voices get annoyed and she over strains herself trying to outrun her own head. It's harder to control the void when she's sick, so the voices get worse, she wears herself out trying to control the phasing and shutting everything else out. She don't like to take the sleeping pills because they make her feel out of control. Usually ends in a migraine like this. We're not sure if it's actually a migraine, but that's the closest we can come to guessing what it is." Lifeline held out a small bottle of cloudy water to him. "There's some painkillers in there, see if she'll drink any."

Mirage took it, thinking that feeding an angry alligator with a toothpick might be safer than trying to bottle feed Wraith. Surprisingly she uncurled enough to take it from him, downing a few gulps before handing it back to him with a small thank you that he was pretty sure was directed towards Lifeline more than him.

Whatever was in there had to be strong because within a few minutes he could feel the body in his arms relaxing. Wraith's head fell onto his upper arm tiredly and Mirage saw with some relief that she was unconscious.

"You spike that with sleeping pills?"

"Nah, she'd just exhausted herself to the point that as soon as the voices quietened, her brain shut down. You've never seen this before?"

Elliott shook his head. "You think she willingly lets people see this side of it any more? When I first met her I saw the pain she was in, but nothing like this. We've talked about the past before and all the theories she has based on what she's learnt within the games, but she never really shares what it all costs her. How did you see it?"

Wraith and Lifeline were friends, but he wouldn't have called them necessarily close. He had known Wraith before the games, they'd had each other's back for as long as he could remember even in the first days when she would show up at his bar confused and alone. At that point she hadn't even known her own name, who she was, where she'd come from.

Just a lonely woman with crazy abilities haunted by voices from a past that she couldn't even remember.

How can I feel so alone when I feel like I'm never alone? I"m supposed to believe that I'm not insane when I woke up in a mental asylum hearing voices with the ability to travel into a universe that I'm not sure even really exists?

She had had control of the void then, could use it if she wanted, but most of her control had gone into suppressing it as opposed to harnessing it. Working with the void and the voices had only become something she considered after escaping the asylum when they both learned about the games and their potential link to her past.

But still, Wraith had acquaintances, not friends. Everyone was kept at arms length and even though Mirage realised that he knew her better than most, he also knew that she would never have willingly shown herself to anyone in this state.

"I looked through the medical files when I joined the squad. Apex keeps records and treatments. I figured there was no way she could use all of her abilities and not come out with some kind of issues," Ajay commented lightly, "wanted to make sure I wasn't about to team up with a loose cannon."

A loose cannon she definitely wasn't. Or, well, not normally, Mirage thought. Even battling sickness and a crippling migraine without full control of her abilities she was still a force to be reckoned with.

But now, looking down at her laying limp across his lap, he didn't think he'd ever seen her look so small and vulnerable. Gone were all the hard lines and snark that she wore like a second shield. She trusted him, had trusted him to protect her enough to not give in to the void as soon as she was downed. Her shoulder would be a mess of bruises under her suit but they could deal with that tomorrow. For now Elliott felt content to sit quietly and hold her whilst the drop ship sped towards their outreach compound where she could be properly checked out.

- O -

Wraith groaned as she came to, the throbbing in her head protesting to the daylight around her.

They're watching you. Run.

Without even thinking she jumped, fully meaning to phase and move but stopping when a set of hands gripped her shoulders and a familiar voice appeared.

"You're safe, it's me, Elliott, you're at my house and you're safe."

Her eyes flew open, vision fuzzier than she would have liked, but relaxed as she caught sight of her squad mate hovering above her. He released her shoulders and took a step back and she exhaled a breath she hadn't realised she'd been holding.

Watching you. Not clear. Not familiar. Not safe.

Wraith rubbed her forehead and tried to ignore the incessant gibberish inside of her head fighting to be heard over the throbbing pain. The voice was always a little confused after a migraine, nothing ever felt safe to it. A constant bubble of anxious energy that she wished would stop if only to release the already aching muscles in her shoulders. Her lungs felt as though they were on fire, burning with every breath and she just felt weak. It wasn't a feeling she was used to, nor liked.

"How did I get here? We were in the drop ship?"

She couldn't remember ever feeling as crappy as she did right now, just from an illness anyway. The painkillers Ajay had given her had worked wonders to relax her enough to quieten the voices. though, she definitely hadn't meant to fall asleep on Mirage.

Fuck. Wraith felt her cheeks redden slightly at the memory.

He likes you.

"You passed out in the ship on the way back to the compound. They said that you had a fever, but that you have the flu combined with dehydration. That plus the exhaustion and the migraine on top of that just caused your body to go into shutdown. Not even your abilities could protect you from that and at that point the lack of control over them was actually making things worse. You really did a number on yourself kid." Elliott's voice was kind but his eyes gave away worry. "They've signed us off for the next two weeks, until you can get yourself back up on your feet. We need you firing on all cylinders if we're going to win."

You scared him.

Wraith groaned and rolled to push herself up into a sitting position, hating the way her head swam at the movement.

"Two weeks? How long was I out?"

"You've been asleep since yesterday afternoon, probably around 20 hours. I woke you once to drink something and take the antibiotics the med team gave you but even then you didn't really seem awake. I was worried you'd choke for a little while." A small smile flickered across his face, breaking the tense lines.

He held out a bottle of water to her and she took it gratefully, the coolness soothing her dry throat. Her legs itched to move, but she knew it wasn't a good idea.

"Well, you haven't killed me yet," Wraith gave a small laugh and was rewarded by a beaming smile in return, the usual Elliott returning.

"I could if I wanted to, but if I did, I wouldn't take you out whilst you were too sick to fight back. Right now I'm pretty sure I could knock you down with a feather."

She rolled her eyes at him but secretly was glad to hear his snark. This was who they were, sarcasm and easy threats that they both knew would never come to fruition.

He likes you.

No…

Stop.

No, he loves you. You don't know how to though. You don't see it.

Enough!

He sees you.

"I have to go to the bathroom," Wraith said quickly, jumping up and trying to ignore the wave of nausea that came with the movement. She should eat. When was the last time she ate?

She shook her head trying to clear the fog and her own thoughts. And damnit Mirage don't jump up and look like that, like you're going to catch me, all perfectly crumpled in your sweatpants with your deep cut Henley when the voices are professing your love for me.

"I don't feel so good."

"What can I get you?" Mirage asked, standing beside her, one hand lightly touching the underside of her left elbow. She thought that she should pull away, but she found that she didn't really want to.

"I need-" Wraith looked around desperately, one hand flying to her stomach as it churned and she realised she wasn't going to make it to the bathroom.

Elliott was quicker than she could have imagined, pushing a garbage pail towards her as she staggered back onto the sofa she had been sleeping on and vomited into the bin. The only thing coming back was bile from the water she'd drank minutes earlier, but still her stomach tried to expel more. It hurt, god it hurt.

Every muscle in her body protested and Wraith heard herself let out a sob. She felt the sofa dip beside her, a cautious hand settling onto her back and stroking gently through the material of whichever of his shirts he'd dressed her in. They'd done this before, when they'd first met and she'd tried to drink herself through her pain.

He looked after her.

No questions, just a steady hand grounding her.

Most touch made her recoil, but she'd always found this different. Elliott was different. He was allowed to see her like this even though he didn't realize it. The voices were wrong, she does see it. She does see how he loves her and she does know how to love him back, Wraith just isn't sure it's that kind of love that they both need from each other.

She could hear him speaking to her, whispered utterances of it's ok. You're ok, I'm here. And for some reason that made her want to sob even more. Despite having slept for so long Wraith was exhausted. Bone weary. Tired of fighting to maintain control of herself constantly, tired of fighting for answers that just seemed to hurt her even more than she had imagined they could.

When she was sure that her stomach had settled she grabbed a tissue to wipe her mouth and took a small sip of water, feeling it slide down her throat into her painfully empty middle and praying it stayed there. Mirage's hand slid down to rub her upper arm, his own arm resting across her shoulders and making it all too easy for her to just lean into him. And she did. Tucking herself into his larger frame and turning her nose into the side of his chest, burrowing into the scent that was comfortingly him. Everything about Elliott made it easy for her to lean on him, even though no one else did. They all just saw him as the air headed fuckboy he portrayed to the rest of the world, but no. That was Mirage.

Elliott Witt was a different person entirely.

Elliott Witt had pulled her out of so many dark places that being here, with her head resting against his shoulder, felt impossibly natural. And when he leaned back, pulling her down with him to lie with her body pressed up against his side, she felt safer than she had in a while.

The voices were silent for once. He quietened them, put her mind so at ease that they had nothing to say.

"How about, we just stay here for a little while and then I'll make you some soup ok? No more sudden movements," Elliott murmured, Wraith feeling his voice rumble through his chest where her ear was pushed against it.

She nodded slowly and curled herself into him, closing her eyes and just letting herself be for a moment.

Yes, she hated being sick. But she knew she had him to look after her for however long he wanted to be around.

Alone they were terrible at taking care of themselves, but together? No matter what their relationship, she knew that they'd always have each other's backs. Whether it be making chicken soup, or taking out enemy after enemy in the games. In love, or friends. Wraith wasn't sure she was quite ready for the in love part, though she knew in some form she did love him. But she had never been so grateful to have him around.

With the warmth of him surrounding her, Wraith let her weary body drift towards sleep, fingers wrapped up in his clothes and wrist touching the bare skin between his shirt and sweatpants.

You do love him. You just can't admit it yet.

-O-

Let me know what you thought!