They Hold the World

Chapter 1: Simpliste in This Situation

Hinata

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

There was something frightening in discovering you are liked by someone else.

Saturday, October 27th, 6:45 am, Hinata, for the first time ever, discovered that feeling.

And hated it.

...

I want to see you today. -Sasuke

That feeling was back again, but different, somehow. It used to come with Naruto, and now it came with the mere thought of Sasuke - but it changed. It was like there were butterflies in her stomach, but their wings were made out of lead. It was thrilling and scary at the same time, and her heart was working double time. Sweating, Hinata got out of bed and pulled up one of her windows, sighing as a cool breeze washed over her face.

Was it weird to feel this way? Like she was about to have a heart attack from merely knowing that Sasuke . . . had . . . feelings for her? Whenever Tenten or Ino or Sakura got a confession letter, did they feel this way? Humming quietly, Hinata looked down at her phone, at the lit screen with Sasuke's text staring up at her, its black words seared into her mind.

No, this couldn't be normal. She ought to feel excited, right?

And, well, in some sense, she was. In some sense, she felt like she was flying.

But she was also terribly afraid - and that, she couldn't understand.

Come on, Hinata, she told herself, forcing her numb thumbs to glide across the screen. There's nothing to be scared about.

And there wasn't. Maybe if their feelings weren't mutual there would be, but they were, and Hinata couldn't imagine what was so frightening about that. She liked him, he liked her; nothing more to it, really. And aside from the embarrassed blushes and starstruck gazes, nothing passed between them that day in the library. They separated as they usually did - quietly and simply. And when Hinata had gotten home, her heart was so full that she barely had an appetite.

But then morning came with a text, a simple statement, and a strange sort of dread fell upon her shoulders.

This isn't . . . normal.

Her thumbs wouldn't move, and Hinata frowned and stormed back to her bed, shoved her phone under her pillow, and begged her heart to slow down and let her get a few more hours of sleep.

...

Breakfast was as it normally was: quiet and full of yawning and sleepy gazes.

Bzzt.

Until her phone buzzed and Hinata, drowsy, didn't have the mind to do anything else but check it.

When are you free today? -Sasuke

It was a strange sensation to literally feel color drain from her face, but Hinata felt it at that moment. Heart throbbing between her ears, Hinata quickly placed the phone down and stuffed a strawberry in her mouth to keep herself from biting her lips. To her right, Hanabi's heavy gaze lightened as it landed on her phone.

"Get a text from someone?" she asked, tone pitched with mischief.

Neji, across from them, momentarily looked away from the weather report playing on the TV to say, "No phones at the table, Hinata."

Blushing and nodding, Hinata moved to pull her phone off of the table, but not before Hanabi lunged forward and swept it out from under her hand. "H-Hanabi!" She tried to grab it back, but her little sister leaned to the side, out of arm's reach, and clicked on the screen.

The notification popped up, and after reading it, Hanabi gasped and nearly dropped the phone in her bowl of cereal. "Oh my Gawd!" she all but shrieked. "Are you dating him now!?"

Blushing, gaping, Hinata stood and snatched her phone back, holding it to her chest as if it were her most prized possession. Neji gave a loud, irritated sigh as his sharp eyes tore away from the TV and settled on them. "Have you both lost your basic table manners? Sit down and -" He stopped short, mouth flying shut as he seemed to replay Hanabi's question in his head. "Excuse me?" His eyes crinkled with expectation. "What is this about?"

Hinata quickly sat down with her hands wriggling in her lap, panicking, while Hanabi leaned her chin in her hand and smirked. "Sasuke U-chi-ha." Her tongue moved like molasses with every syllable, and a sort of dreamy expression came to her features. "Who else?"

"Sasuke?" That sharp look was suddenly on Hinata. "You're dating Sasuke?"

"N-No!" Her hand immediately covered her mouth after her exclamation, and Hinata looked wearily down the hallway, where her father's study was. Please don't hear this, she begged silently. "I-I'm not d-dating S-Sasuke." Yet. And that though jabbed a needle into her heart.

Neji's shoulders fell, and Hanabi rolled her eyes as she drank the milk out of her bowl.

"B-But even if I - um . . . b-but you said y-you trusted h-him."

Humming a drawled note, Neji's focus went back on the news. "I do." His lips tilted downwards, and Hinata knew he wouldn't let this slide as easily as she had hoped. "Doesn't mean I want you to date him."

And with that, her heart sank, and she felt like she wouldn't get a break today from all the turmoil within her, brewing and building up. Biting her lips together, she chewed on another strawberry, eating it to just eat and not really tasting anything. Hanabi groaned and slurped up the rest of her milk before slamming down the bowl and wiping her mouth with the sleeve of her blouse.

"Leave her alone, Neji," she said, winking Hinata's way. "If she wants to date that hunk, let her!"

Seeming to give up on watching the TV, Neji stood and pinned Hanabi down with a cold stare. "Language." He rounded the table and dropped a cloth napkin on her head, sneering, "And wipe your mouth with a napkin, for God's sake!"

...

A bit past noon, Hinata collapsed on her bed, feeling exhausted despite having just woken up two hours ago. If it were up to her, she would have liked nothing more but to sleep the day away. But then that damn phone buzzed for what seemed like the millionth time that day, and Hinata shot up and grabbed it from her nightstand. The blue light blinked in the top-left corner, signaling she got a text, and Hinata watched it for a while as she hesitated.

Because, for some reason, she was nervous.

Nervous because . . . because . . .

Because what?

Folding her legs, she sighed and read the text.

Are you free rn? -Sasuke

Something crawled down her spine, like an icy spider.

This feeling of giddiness and dread was so confusing and painful that it made her want to throw her phone out the window, if only just to never read another text again. But instead of that, she returned it to her nightstand, combed her hair a bit, and left her room. Get out of the house, she told herself as she skipped down the staircase and entered the kitchen, where the chefs began to prepare lunch as a few maids seemed to be making a checklist for groceries. Walking up to them, she said, "I-I'll do it, p-please."

The maid looking through the fridge paused, head cocked to the side. "Miss Hinata -"

"P-Please." There was so much desperation in her tone, even she was surprised by it. And the maid must have heard it, for she nodded and slowly handed Hinata the list. Smiling, she said her gratitude before leaving the kitchen.

"Miss Hinata," another maid came up to her, but Hinata was too focused on getting out to really hear anything. "You are needed at -"

"I'll b-be back soon." Hinata pulled on a jacket from the coat rack and grabbed her purse, list crinkling up as she stuffed it in one of her pockets. Not seeing the maid's distraught look, Hinata took in a deep breath before opening the door.

"But, Miss, he -"

Winter blasted against her entire being, nipping at her nose and ears, and her face went red. Not only because of the icy wind, but because there, on her porch, tugging at his gloves, was Sasuke. Behind her, the maid bowed and stepped away, but Hinata didn't really notice. All she could see was black.

"Yo."

Automatically, her body stepped forward, and the door closed behind her. Unable to look at him in fear her heart might give out, she looked at his black car parked in the round driveway, standing out from the grey of the world.

How did he . . .

"Why a-are you . . . ?"

There was movement in the corner of her eye, and she turned and saw him wave his phone at her. "Since you were ignoring my texts, I figured I'd just come." His dark eyes flickered, looking this way and that, right and left; but when they landed on her, something in him relaxed, and that made all the turmoil within her hotter and heavier. "So . . . where to?"

Leaving the house was supposed to be a distraction.

But now, in the grocery store, watching Sasuke scouring through the fresh fruit aisle, Hinata was beginning to suspect that, perhaps, staying at home would have been the smarter choice. Sure, Sasuke would have come either way, but at least she would be in the comfort of her home -

Stop that! She flinched at her train of thought. It made her feel like she was scared of being with Sasuke - but that wasn't true at all. Sure, she was nervous, but not scared. And that dread in her chest - it came from something around him, from the idea of him, but not Sasuke alone.

Being scared of Sasuke . . . that was impossible.

"Hey." A plastic bag full of avocados was held out to her, and she blushed and took it and placed it in her shopping basket. "Aren't you supposed to be the one shopping?"

"O-Oh!" Focus, Hinata! "Sorry."

Legs shaking, she walked around him and inspected the oranges.

"Hey." Sasuke stood next to her and held out the list of groceries. "We don't need those."

"O-Oh, r-right, sorry." She took the list, scanned it briefly, and began towards the vegetables. Sasuke followed her, hands in pockets, a bit of a tilt to his lips.

...

Ten minutes later, and they were finished. Sasuke packed the bags into the back of his car while Hinata took the basket back to the store, and once they were done, Sasuke drove them both back to the mansion. Most of the drive was quiet - and not the good kind. The awkward kind that made Hinata feel horrible and guilty, but everytime she tried to say something, just one peek at him made her tongue go numb. She couldn't understand it. Days ago, she wouldn't have nearly as much trouble talking to him, but now . . .

Is it because we like each other? She looked out the window, frowning.

"What's wrong?"

Her nerves spiked, and with a straight spine, she jumped back into reality.

Sasuke's eyes were on the road, which she was thankful for; because she was sure she wouldn't be able to manage a single word if he were looking at her. Not that she had much of a vocabulary either way.

Chin bowing, she whispered, "N-Not much . . ."

"Bullshit." They came to a red light, and he turned to her. "Is it me?"

"U-Um -"

"Is it what happened yesterday?"

"W-Well . . ." How could he say it so freely? Wasn't he nervous at all? Head sloped, hoping her bangs would hide her warming face from his watchful gaze, she said, "Um, y-yes, a little."

He snorted and ran his thumbs along the leather steering wheel as the light went green. The car lunged forward, engine roaring about as loud as her heart was. "Don't worry about that," he muttered, and if it weren't for her trained ears, she wouldn't have heard him. "Think about right now."

"R-Right now?" But it was so hard to when everytime she looked at him, spoke to him, thought about him, she'd think of his hand on hers, of his eyes fixed on her, of his shivering voice when he spoke to her; she'd think of "But you'll keep me warm, right?" and "There's a poem that reminds me of you." and "Variation on the Word Sleep, 27 - 30." and - and - everything! And it was all so much that she couldn't think of tomorrow or today or anything past that library and -

"Go out with me."

...

Somehow, she expected that question. It wasn't that she was counting down the seconds until he asked it, really; but in the back of her head, she knew it was bound to happen.

Sad thing was, she really, really didn't want him to ask it.

...

"I . . ."

She breathed in through her nose, hoping that was enough to keep the sting in her eyes at bay, because she had cried in front of him plenty of times and she was not about to do it again. But, badly, she wanted to. Because she was frustrated and upset and feeling guilty, and she cried when she felt even one of those things. Frustrated because she just couldn't understand why she was feeling this way, feeling scared and weak. Upset because she was sure other girls didn't feel like this with their crush or boyfriend, so why did she!? Guilty because . . . Sasuke deserved better than a terrified girl who seemed to do nothing but play with both of their hearts.

"I-I . . . can't . . . ."

The car screeched to a halt at a stop sign, and were it not for the seatbelt, Hinata was sure she would have broken her nose on the glove box. Sasuke was staring her down, not angry (thankfully), but just . . . confused.

"What?" he asked. "Why?"

I don't know. But he wouldn't understand that answer, so she said, "I-I'm s-scared."

His eyes narrowed, and he jerkily drove forward and turned into her neighborhood. At that moment, Hinata felt like the worst person in the world, and she whispered a watery apology before folding into herself.

Moments later, they were pulling into her driveway, and she didn't know whether to be grateful or disappointed. Sasuke got out without making a noise and was pulling out the bags while Hinata slowly slipped out, wobbling on her feet, gripping the door handle in fear that she might fall over.

Do something, she begged herself as they slowly made their way up to the porch. Say something!

But nothing came to her because she was a - a coward.

Sasuke placed the bags on the marble porch as Hinata opened the door.

Slowly, shyly, they looked at each other.

"Scared . . ." His dark eyes trembled with his hands, which he tried to hide in his pockets. "Scared of me?"

Aghast, Hinata shook her head. "N-No!" Not of you, never of you. Of everything else, of these feelings, of myself, but . . .

But she couldn't say anything.

And Sasuke, as he turned on his heels and walked down the staircase, couldn't either.

Sunday came with nothing.

Nothing - as in no texts or calls or anything from Sasuke.

And Hinata hated it and herself for that, because just yesterday, she was hoping for no texts at all.

You've screwed things up, she told herself, glaring at her reflection in the mirror, like you always do.

...

And those words - she repeated them to herself into Monday, where she was disappointed (but not surprised) to find an empty seat across from her spot in the library. Wiping her sleeve under her eyes, she sat down and pulled out her book, flipping through the pages, not paying attention to anything. Her mind drifted off, away from her aching chest and twisted stomach. It was somewhere else entirely, in a land of wonder, a place Hinata often went when she was . . .

Detached.

Figure this out, she thought. Why are you feeling this way?

And there, she hummed and wondered, supposing that multiple things could be playing into these strange feelings. Low self-esteem made her feel unworthy of Sasuke's feelings, and fear of the unknown made her nervous in new situations. Confusion on what to do and what to feel; lack of backbone; a bundle of anxiety always present in her stomach - all of that was swirling around in her chest, against her heart, making her feel exhausted and heavy and shaky. She was scared. Scared because she has never been in this situation before, scared that she'll mess it up, scared that she'll lose Sasuke like she lost Naruto, like she almost lost Shikamaru. All of that was constantly eating at her sanity, wearing her down, keeping her from -

There was a creak.

Her mind came racing back to reality, and she blinked and looked up and gasped upon seeing Sasuke there. He sat back in the chair, scratching his cheek, looking . . . looking . . . something.

"Sasuke," she leaned forward, finally finding her words, "I-I'm s-so sorry about -"

"It's not just you."

Huh?

He crossed his arms over his chest and eyed the table between them. Peeking out from behind his hair, his ears were burning pink. It wasn't the first time she'd seen him so . . . human. But this was the first time he looked so vulnerable, and Hinata couldn't believe what she was seeing. With a sigh that was airy and a bit shaky, Sasuke said, "I'm scared, too."

Hinata froze, not breathing.

Sasuke locked gazes with her, and his lips tipped up in an uncertain smile. "Not scared of you. Just . . . scared."

Sasuke scared.

Sasuke . . . scared?

Could that . . . even happen?

Folding her hands together, Hinata asked, "Is that . . . o-okay?"

Huffing, Sasuke leaned forward and perched his chin in his left palm, smile gone and eyes drifting across the rest of the library. "What kind of question is that?" When she looked away from his face and red ears, she saw him hold his right hand out for her, and when she slowly wrapped her fingers around his, she didn't miss the quirk of his lip. "Of course it is."

Chapter One - End