Protégé

Chapter 1 – Liar

Legs crossed, eyes closed, hands planted lightly on her knees. Padmé Amidala was meditating.

The one bittersweet benefit of her husband's absence was that she could tap into the Force whenever she pleased without fear of being detected. He of course had no idea that she powerfully attuned to the Force. More attuned in fact than most of the Jedi Masters on the Council. She shielded herself well from them. Bloated by dogma and blinded by bias, the Jedi would never detect her nor her master until it was too late.

Their imminent demise was simultaneously a source of great excitement and dread. While she yearned to be free of the limitations of her public persona as an irenic ideologue and benevolent fool, she also feared the consequences of revealing her true self. What would Anakin think of her? Would he still love her, or would he be horrified that she had hidden so much from him for so long?

Her master insisted that when the time came, Anakin would be grateful and indeed pleasantly surprised to learn his wife was a protégé of the Sith. Even if he was disillusioned by her duplicity, he would come around. When he accepted her master's training and assumed the title of Vader, all would be set right. And together they would finally be free!

Such blithe optimism was intoxicating, yet like any inebriating substance, the accompanying high was always a lie. She knew Anakin far better than her master. She knew how dedicated he was to the Jedi Order, if not to its code. Kenobi and the like had filled his head with lies about the dark side. Would he really be able to cleanse himself and wipe the filth of the Jedi aside like Palpatine intended? Would he really be able to look at her and see his wife rather than an enemy; mendacious, manipulative, and malign?

It was these qualms coupled with the quotidian stresses of political life which found her on the patio of her apartment. Meditation allowed her to release her fear and doubt into the Force. Yet more and more lately she felt as if the act was only augmenting her anxiety rather than attenuating it. Her emotions swirled about her like a storm; the torrential waves of worry crashed against her conscience while the howling winds of guilt screamed in her ears.

You lie to him! You don't love him! You don't deserve him!

It wasn't true! It wasn't! She loved Anakin! More than anything, she did. She hadn't planned on falling for him as absolutely as she had, but that was how fate unfolded. Her attachment to him made her vulnerable. Her affection rendered her weak.

Perspiration beaded her brow in spite of the mild nighttime chill. Her grasp on her knees tightened, fingernails kneading and scratching against the flesh. She inhaled deeply and attempted to center herself. Holding the breath for several seconds, she exhaled deliberately out of her mouth.

She inhaled again, but her breath caught in her throat when a sharp pain erupted in her core. Her eyes flew open and she gasped, a tingling sensation percolating down her limbs to her numb fingers and toes. Her chest heaved and she placed a hand over her heart.

What had that been? She closed her eyes and attempted to identify the feeling. It clawed at her like a feral animal, fervent and desperate. But it wasn't malicious. On the contrary, it was almost endearing. Pathetic and powerless, it was somehow dependent on her. It was… a part of her.

It was then that she realized.

And in that moment, everything changed.

Δ Δ Δ

Bright morning sunlight streamed through the curved windows of the Chancellor's office. Padmé stared ahead blankly, her knees clasped together and her hands rested absently over her stomach. Aggrieved voices yipped and yapped in her ears, but Padmé couldn't be bothered to discern the words. Her presence here was merely for show.

She hadn't been able to sleep last night. Heavy makeup and a full pot of caf did wonders to spruce her up, but she could tell Palpatine wasn't fooled by the veneer. The master of the mask, he always knew when she was wearing one. The elderly statesman sat at his desk with spindly fingers interlocked in front of his chin. His façade of attentiveness to the senators' grievances was occasionally broken with a concerned glance toward her.

What's wrong?

His voice in her mind rang loud and clear unlike the muddled cacophony around her. She replied with the subtlest probe of the Force as he had taught her to do.

I need to talk to you.

He didn't react, but Padmé knew her message had been received. The meeting dragged on as Palpatine politely engaged with the delegation. Their concerns were unfounded, he would say. Democracy would of course be maintained. This amendment to the constitution would never impinge upon anyone's liberties.

On and on and on they droned. It was empty words and meaningless dialogue. The fools in this room had no idea how futile their plight was. Palpatine was amused by how little the senators knew about their own insignificance, but Padmé found it bothersome more than anything. Puffed up and phony, the senators ostensibly responsible for representing the interests of the galaxy were a dreadfully vain sort. Engaging with them all day long was an exhausting endeavor.

"Senator Amidala? Are you coming?"

It was Organa. A kind man, his naïve idealism was endearing to her in an odd sort of way. He seemed to think they were friends, so she was more than happy to indulge him.

"Go ahead, Senator. I need a word in private with the Chancellor."

A hint of suspicion on Organa's face had Padmé flailing for an explanation. Fortunately, Palpatine provided it for her.

"This has no pertinence to our present discussion," he said, his elocution smooth as always. "The senator and I have an issue regarding our home world to discuss."

Organa was assuaged by this answer. "I see."

She and Palpatine both hailed from Naboo. This proved immeasurably valuable to them in the political arena because it explained how she could maintain such a close relationship with him despite being polar opposites of each other ideologically. As a result, their colleagues and the media extolled them for their ability to cooperate in spite of their supposed differences.

"Give your wife my best wishes, Senator," Palpatine said with a bow of his head. His expression was genial but the subtext was clear. Organa had been dismissed.

The Alderaanian senator was not oblivious to this. "I will do so," he said shortly before turning to depart. She and Palpatine watched silently as he followed after the rest of the delegation. The doors closed behind him, and finally they were alone. Padmé decompressed, the taut visage of Amidala relaxing into the one of her true self.

"You failed to contribute today," Palpatine said, an edge to his voice.

"I'm sorry, Master."

Palpatine considered her with shrewd eyes. "Something else is on your mind."

"Yes, Master."

"Do tell."

She pursed her lips and bowed her head. Would he be angry with her?

"I…"

The words caught in her throat.

"My dear, whatever it is, you can tell me."

She looked up to meet his solicitous gaze. A gentle smile, an encouraging nod.

"I'm pregnant," she confessed.

Palpatine's eyes flashed and the corners of his eyes creased. She wasn't sure how to interpret his reaction. He certainly wasn't angry, but was he happy? Or was it more triumphant?

"How wonderful," he said warmly.

"Really?"

"Do you not think so?"

Padmé hesitated. "I… I don't know. I didn't plan on –"

"This will not affect our plans, if that is what you are worried about. If anything, it enhances them."

"It does?"

"I assume you told him the news?"

Padmé bit her lower lip. "No," she said in a mousy voice.

Palpatine tilted his head back. "Hmm… perhaps restraint is prudent. This is not the sort of information one shares by hologram."

Padmé nodded, grateful that he understood. "I was thinking… could you recall him, maybe? Say you need…. I don't know, that you need his services for something?"

At once, Palpatine shook his head. "My dear, you know I cannot. It would arouse too much suspicion."

Again, she nodded. "You're right," she sighed.

Palpatine stood up and ambled around the desk toward her, his fingertip dragging across the surface as he did so. He was smiling – broad and bright – but she had no idea whether it was genuine. She was not as perspicacious as he.

"Your worry is unwarranted," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. She craned her head to look at him. "Soon, everything we have dreamed of will come true."

She didn't dare contradict him. "What if…"

"What if what?"

Her face was tight, and she felt a little spasm above her right eye. "What if he's angry?"

Palpatine frowned. "Skywalker? Why would he be angry?"

"We never talked about this. We never even thought about it! Our marriage is supposed to be a secret! I've ruined everything! I can't be pregnant! I can't! If the Jedi were to find out –"

Palpatine stopped her with a squeeze of her shoulder. "They will not," he insisted.

"How can you –"

"They will not," he said definitively. "We have hidden ourselves from them for all this time. This changes nothing."

"But Anakin doesn't know that! He might think… he might be afraid that –"

"You say he loves you."

Padmé faltered. "I… well, yes –"

"Then he will understand."

He saw that she was skeptical, and Palpatine gave her a sympathetic look. Removing his hand from her shoulder, he extended it to her. She took it, and he helped her to her feet.

"Stay the course, my dear," he said, hands placed lightly on her arms. "You have done so well for so long."

She felt her chin tremble. How did the stress not affect him like it did her? He seemed to relish the shadows whereas she craved the light. She just wanted this game to be over. The deception and trickery had gone on for far longer than she had ever imagined.

"Perhaps a vacation would do you some good," Palpatine suggested after a moment of silence.

"A vacation?"

"After the vote, you should return to Naboo. How long has it been since you returned?"

Padmé considered. "I don't know… a year? Maybe two?"

"Then a visit is long overdue. For appearances, if nothing else. It's not common for a senator to go so long without a visit to their home world."

Palpatine released her and walked away as if the conversation was concluded. "But what would I do?" she asked his retreating figure.

"Whatever do you mean?" he asked without glancing back. He took a step on to the elevated ledge to peer out the windows overlooking Coruscant's bustling skyline.

"I don't have anywhere to go, anyone to see."

"I'm sure the queen would be willing to offer you accommodations."

Padmé wrinkled her nose. She didn't want to be trapped in that palace again. "What about Varykino?"

Palpatine turned back to her. "What about it?"

"Could I stay there?"

She clasped her hands in front of her and gave Palpatine an eager expression. He had provided her with that luxurious villa three years ago when she had been tasked with seducing Anakin. The placid lakes and swaying fields had captivated her then, and she had long yearned to return. It was there where she had accidently fallen in love.

"That was a onetime arrangement," Palpatine told her.

"I know that, but –"

"That place is off limits. Do you understand?"

Padmé was startled by the vehemence in his tone. Blinking rapidly, she nodded her understanding.

"If the queen's accommodations are not to your liking, you may stay at my apartment in Theed. You know of it?"

Of course she did. Padmé had spent a great deal of time there when she was a little girl, out of the public's eye and not yet known to the galaxy at large.

"Will that be suitable to you?"

"Yes, Master."

He offered her a tight smile. "Good."

Δ Δ Δ

Two weeks passed, and finally Padmé was free to leave the capital. She had been apprehensive at first, but as the tedious days dragged on, she found herself growing more and more excited for the reprieve. Naboo was a lovely planet. Perhaps it was just what she needed to relax.

The amendment granting the Chancellor expanded war powers passed with a great deal of drama. As a member of the opposition, Padmé had to be vociferous in her disdain for the legislation. She gave a fiery speech to the media outside the Senate chamber condemning Chancellor Palpatine for his irreverence for the rule of law, or something to that effect. To be truthful, she didn't really remember what she said. Sanctimonious recriminations came naturally to her nowadays, she scarcely had to prepare nor think.

But now it was done. Palpatine had his war powers and Padmé had her vacation. Her diligent handmaidens assisted her all morning packing her extensive wardrobe, and at last it was time to leave. The last of her luggage had been strapped to a repulsorlift and taken away toward the docks where her ship was waiting for her.

She left the bedroom and was making her way to the front door when a vibration caught her attention. It was coming from the holoprojector inlaid in the center of the glass table situated between two couches. Padmé smiled to herself before rushing to answer. She had an inkling into who might be contacting her.

Taking a seat on the nearest couch, she straightened out her dress before activating the device.

"Hey there."

Padmé felt her cheeks grow warm when she saw his look of affection.

"Anakin."

His smile broadened, and Padmé had to clamp down on her shields to prevent herself from revealing her gush of conflicted emotion. While she was of course delighted to hear from him, she couldn't allow him to know about her anxiety. She didn't want to have to answer any difficult questions.

"I know it's been too long, but I've been swamped lately. These Outer Rim sieges are getting pretty intense."

"You're keeping safe though, right? Not doing anything stupid?"

"Of course," he said.

She knew he was lying, but she couldn't spare the energy to pester him about it. Anakin was capable. He knew how to conduct himself in war; when to take risks and when to exercise restraint. Having her waiting for him back on Coruscant served as a reminder that there were more important things than winning a battle.

"How are things with you?"

Padmé allowed a hint of stress trickle out from beneath her shields. It was nothing compared to what she was really feeling, but it gave Anakin a little taste.

"It's exhausting," she said. "The Senate was debating nonstop for a full week."

"On what?"

"You didn't hear?"

He shook his head.

"The Chancellor's been granted additional war powers."

"That's good, isn't it?"

She sighed. This was the worst part of her relationship with Anakin. He thought he was married to someone else entirely; someone who cared about liberty, justice, and all these other nebulous and nugatory concepts. She wore the mask so often, she barely knew anymore where the falsehoods started and where the truth began.

"It isn't good, Anakin," she intoned. "The Chancellor is assuming too much power. The integrity of our democracy is at stake."

"But if it helps end the war –"

"I don't want to talk about this," she snapped. That, at least, was the truth.

Anakin folded at once. "Sure. I'm sorry."

Padmé rubbed her forehead wearily. "Don't be."

A beat passed as Padmé recollected herself. Dragging a hand down her face, she looked back up to meet her husband's concerned gaze.

"I'm alright," she assured him. "I'm actually leaving the capital right now."

"You are? Where to?"

"Naboo," she said, and her features softened. "It'll be nice to get away."

"I wish I could go with you."

"Me too," she sighed.

They stared at one another, Anakin's blue-tinged hologram flickering in and out as the connection wavered. There was so much she wanted to tell him, so much she had to share. How could she continue to hide all this from him? They had been married for three years, and all of it felt like a lie. He had no idea who she was, no idea whom she served, and now, had no idea that she was carrying his child. It was one lie too many. She couldn't keep up this act any longer. She couldn't do it!

"I have to go."

She released a shaky breath. "I… I do too."

"I'll contact you as soon as I'm able. It might be a while though. We're going to Cato Neimoidia tonight."

Padmé pursed her lips tight. "Be careful," was all she was able to muster.

"Of course," he replied. "I love you."

She dug her fingernails painfully into her thighs and heightened her shields, an icy bulwark encasing her heart and suffocating her spirit.

"Love you too."

The connection was severed and Padmé was left alone in her living room. A long moment passed as she stared ahead blindly. She unclenched, her fingernails retracting and her shields lowering. Standing up, the illusion of composure shattered in one violent burst.

She screamed and sent her fist plunging into the table. Before she even made contact, the glass exploded, jagged sharps radiating outward in all directions. Falling to her knees, she held her face in her hands and sobbed.

Liar! Liar! Liar!

She could no longer deny the voice in her ear.

This had to end. One way or another, she would make it so. Because if she didn't, she would be torn apart.

Author's Note: Thank you all for reading this opening chapter! This is an idea I've had for a long time, and I've only now began to put the proverbial pen to paper. I will warn you now that there will be some dark themes in this story. On AO3 it is rated M because of this. FFN is a bit different since there is no distinction between M and E rated fics, so I've decided to leave the rating at T on this site. There will be no smut or graphic violence, but I will be dealing with some heavy subjects and emotional trauma/turmoil. I will leave a trigger warning in the chapter notes when appropriate. I am by no means a psychologist so please feel free to call me out if you think my characterization is out of line, inconsistent, or otherwise inaccurate.

The fundamental axis of this story is the relationship between Palpatine and Padmé – the master and his protégé, the hunter and his bow, the father and his daughter. Going ahead, I want you to keep this in mind. If you want to understand Padmé and Palpatine's characters, you must view their actions through this lens. I will reveal things in a piecemeal fashion, so be on the lookout for scenes which elucidate their relationship – especially the flashbacks which debut in chapter 3.