***TRIGGER WARNING! This fic deals with the aftermath of sexual assault, and rape is mentioned. It is not graphic, and the actual assault is not depicted.***

This was inspired by a prompt by Zissa93 and by Veronica Mars!

Wake Me Up (When It's All Over)

When Penny opened her eyes, she felt a flash of confusion. Her head was pounding, and her mouth felt painfully dry. Swallowing and wincing against the sandpaper feeling, she brought a heavy hand to her head and flinched. She didn't recognize the ceiling she was staring at...it wasn't the medbay, which would have made more sense because she felt like death warmed over. But she hadn't been patrolling the night before...had she?

No...no, she'd...she'd gone to a party? Had she passed out? She must have, she thought as she closed her eyes and winced at the pain in her head. Penny remembered talking with Ned. She remembered Ned leaving. And she remembered...someone handing her a drink. A red plastic cup pushed into her hand. And then drinking it. She had been almost ready to leave. Catch the bus and head home. But then she'd tasted the fruity drink in the cup and...and then it was a blank.

Groaning, Penny pressed her fingers into her temple. She'd told May that she was going to a party with Ned, and that the two of them would be sleeping over at his place. But...right.

Ned hadn't just gone home. They'd gotten into a fight. What about? She searched her memory but couldn't remember why they'd fought. They'd both had a cup of the same fruity drinks earlier, and they'd been laughing and dancing a little. The party was at one of the nicer suburb houses, with a pool in the backyard. Their senior year started in less than two weeks and so Penny had wanted to let loose a little. Have fun.

So she'd gone to the party hosted by one of the newly-graduated seniors with Ned. They'd known the girl throwing the party through a friend of a friend...of an acquaintance. And Ned hadn't been thrilled about the party, but he'd agreed to accompany her. Penny cast her mind back, trying to ignore the throbbing...which was weird. It was really weird that she would have a throbbing headache, because she burned through morphine in fifteen minutes flat...so why would she have a hangover?

It was Friday. She needed to get up and go home and hope that May wasn't terrified. She could remember the rest later, she reasoned. It was no big deal. Besides, she had her internship with Mr. Stark the next day and…

Every one of her thoughts was cut off as soon as Penny sat up. Something was wrong. Her dress was hiked up around her thighs and she reached down to fix it, glancing at the door to make sure that no one was walking by that might see...and then she looked down at the floor, everything clicking. There, on the gleaming hardwood floors, was a pair of white underwear.

Her underwear.

The rest...the part where she slid out from under the covers, resting her toes on the floor and wiping a single tear from her face, and then picking up the underwear and putting them on, then walking down the hall, stepping carefully around sleeping teenagers and piles of clothes and dried puddles of vomit, all of that was a blur. The next thing she knew, she was holding her flats in her hand, walking down the road, her purse slung over her shoulder, as she tried to figure out what to do. But her brain was stuck...stuck on the image of her underwear on the floor of a strange bedroom.

Reaching into her purse, she pulled out her phone. May was out of the question. Ned didn't have a car...and even if he did, Penny could only feel anger at him, even if she knew she shouldn't. It wasn't his fault. But he'd left her. His mom had picked him up and...and she'd stayed and she couldn't remember why. Maybe it was her fault. Maybe all of this...maybe it was all her fault.

Penny held the phone to her ear, reaching up and wiping away another tear. She'd done everything wrong. She'd been at a party with strange people alone. She'd drank something that someone had handed her. She'd...she had to wipe another tear as the phone rang, Happy's gruff voice cutting off the ringing.

"Kid? It's seven am. What's going…"

"Can you come get me?" Her voice sounded strange in her own ears. She'd never asked Happy to come get her. Would he do it? It wasn't part of his job, not at the moment, but when the man answered, his voice was soft. Strange, like hers.

"Yeah...yeah, kid, of course I can. Where are you?"

"I…" She blinked, looking around and finding the nearest street sign, then named the intersection.

"Okay...just stay there, okay? Are you alone?"

"Yeah."

She could hear him moving, probably getting dressed, but instead of hanging up, he kept talking. "Are you hurt?"

Was she hurt? She nodded, more tears falling, but she didn't bother wiping them away this time, just leaned against the rock wall she'd found herself beside, looking around at the nearly identical houses that surrounded her. It was so quiet. Was she even still in New York City? Yeah…of course she was. The party was in the suburbs.

"Penny? Hey, are you still with me?"

"Yeah."

"Are you hurt?"

"Yeah," she whispered, not sure what else to say.

"Shit...are you bleeding out or…"

Was she bleeding out? No. No...but she might be bleeding. She didn't know. Still, she told him she wasn't bleeding out.

"What the hell are you doing out in the suburbs?" he demanded, and she heard his car door slam. He was on his way.

"There was a party." She didn't seem capable of speaking above a whisper and her skin felt like it was on fire...all she wanted to do was get in the shower. Scrub her skin within an inch of her life...scrub until it fell off and she was clean again. She just wanted to be clean again. Just wanted to scrub her skin and her brain until it was like none of this had happened.

Happy didn't ask her any more questions. But he stayed on the phone, talking about nothing as he got closer and closer until finally he was pulling up to the curb where she was standing, the worry written all over his face. "Kid?" He jumped out of the car, ripping his jacket off and draping it over her shoulders. She wasn't cold. Already she could tell it was going to be a hot day, but she let him do it, letting her mind drift away as she was led to the passenger seat.

It felt as though she blinked, and she was in the medbay. This room she knew. She'd been here plenty of times. Just a few weeks ago, she'd passed out on patrols and woken up here where she was informed that patrolling without drinking any water in 95 degree heat for five hours was 'unhealthy' and 'could lead to heat stroke.' Mr. Stark had programmed Karen to remind her to drink water every fifteen minutes after that, and she hadn't yet been able to figure out how to change that programming.

"Penny? Honey, are you with me?"

Penny blinked and a woman was standing in front of her. A woman in a long white coat. Helen. Doctor Helen Cho. "Aren't you a geneticist?"

The woman paused, obviously taken aback, then nodded, her eyes soft. "I am. I also have a medical degree." She was standing a few feet away, hands clasped in front of her. "Do you remember coming here?"

Penny shook her head.

"Okay. That's fine. Happy brought you down. He said that you were at a party last night, and that you called him saying you were hurt. Do you remember that?"

She nodded.

"He worried that you might have been assaulted. Can you tell me what happened?"

"My head hurts…" She closed her eyes, pressing a hand to her pounding head. "But...but it shouldn't...I didn't drink very much and...and I can't get drunk...right?" Penny swayed and Helen was quick to rest a hand on her shoulder.

"Penny?"

"And I woke up in a strange room and...my underwear were on the floor and…"

"Penny, do you believe you were sexually assaulted?"

She couldn't speak. To hear it put like that...that made it all real. Still, she nodded.

"Okay, honey, here's what I want to do. I want to draw some blood to try and find out what was in your system. I believe you may have been drugged. We aren't sure how your body responds to drugs like GHB and rohypnol, common date rape drugs." Penny flincehd at the word 'rape' but didn't interrupt. "After I draw some blood, I'd like to do a medical examination if that's okay?"

She nodded. What choice did she have?

The blood drawing was fine. The medical examination was almost unbearable until she let her mind wander away again, drifting back to patrolls a few days ago. Swinging through the city. Once more, time passed and passed and then she was sitting up in bed with Helen's hand on her shoulder. "Penny?"

Penny blinked a few times. "Dr. Cho?"

"How are you feeling?"

"My head hurts," she murmured, and Helen nodded.

"I'm running some tests on your bloodwork...do you remember the physical exam?"

Penny shook her head, a spark of fear igniting in her stomach. "Is...is something wrong with me?"

"I believe that you mind is attempting to distance itself from what is happening right now. That's a fairly normal response after a traumatic event. I was able to complete the exam and collect samples...it appears as though a sexual assault did occur." Penny felt her brain pulling away again, and the hand on her shoulder squeezed gently. "Penny?"

"I don't know who...who it was…"

"I collected samples, and I am going to use all of Tony's resources to find out who did this to you. Okay?"

"Mr. Stark...he's here?" The woman's eyes narrowed in confusion and Penny realized that she was in the medbay...in the tower. Of course Mr. Stark was there. She shook her head. "I'm sorry...I...I knew that…"

"It's alright. Tony wanted to see you, but I asked for him to wait until after the examination. Would you like to take a shower? I can see if I can find you some clothes to change into."

"Oh...okay…yeah...yes. Please."

Helen nodded, smiling gently. "Alright. There's a bathroom right through there. You can shower in there and I'll bring you some clothes." She hesitated for a moment, then sighed. "Tony wanted me to tell him what had happened. And he's going to want to help me find the person that did this to you. He is listed as one of your emergency contacts, but is there anything you don't want me to tell him?"

Penny shook her head. She couldn't think. Could't focus. And Helen seemed to understand, so she helped Penny stand and then left her to shower.

The tears started in the shower and Penny tilted her head up toward the spray, turning the water up as hot as it could get and letting it scald her skin. Grabbing the washrag and soap, she started to scrub, from her face to her toes and everything in between. She stayed in the shower so long that the water started to cool off, and she'd never had that happen at the tower before.

When she stepped out of the shower, she found a pile of clothes on the closed toilet lid. Sweatpants and a t-shirt with the periodic table on it that was a size too big for her...standard comfortable clothing. She put it on, then stepped out of the steamy bathroom to find Mr. Stark sitting on the bed where she'd been laying only moments before. Or...hours. Penny had no idea how long she'd been in the shower.

When he looked up, his eyes were bloodshot, hair standing on end, his hands clasped together in his lap. He started to jump up the second he saw her, then paused, and she hated it. Hated that he'd hesitated and hated that she didn't know how she would feel about him getting close to her. Didn't know how her body would respond. Would she shove him away? Start crying again?

"Hey, Pen," he murmured, sounding just as lost as she was. Was she supposed to go to him? Or ask how he was?

"It was my fault." Those were the words that she ended up blurting out, the tears springing to her eyes once more. But her voice was matter of fact. He just stared at her, wide-eyed. Stunned "I drank something someone gave me. I know...I know you're not supposed to do that…" The tears were making it hard to see but she kept talking even as he approached. "I know that. I've always known that. But I did it anyway. Ned...I think I got in a fight with Ned and someone handed me a drink and I just took and and that was so stupid and…"

"Penny," he murmured, reaching out slowly, and she watched through her tears as his hands landed on her shoulders. "Honey…"

She didn't shove him away. She didn't cry any harder either. Instead, her whole body leaned into his hold, as if every cell inside of her screamed out 'safe' at the same time. The tears continued to fall as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as she cried silently into his shirt.

"This was not your fault," he told her softly, voice as firm as she'd ever heard it. But not angry. Not harsh. Just serious. "None of it was your fault. Just because you drank something you shouldn't have doesn't mean that anyone had the right to do this to you. It wasn't your fault. No part of it was your fault. You were assaulted, Penny. You were drugged." His words made the throbbing in her head even worse and she closed her eyes, shaking her head.

"I don't...I don't even know who…" she started, cutting herself off when she couldn't say the words.

"We're going to find out. I'm going to take care of it...Helen and me both," he promised, holding her tight.

"I don't know why I fought with Ned...I can't remember! He left me there and I don't remember!"

He was holding her up then, leaning down to scoop her into his arms when her knees buckled. Backing up, he sat down on the bed and held her close, rocking her back and forth. "I know. I know, honey. It's going to be okay. I'm right here. I've got you."

Penny shook her head. It couldn't be okay. Not now. How could it ever be okay again? But after a moment, he stood and carried her into the elevator, then into the living room. Time passed, and she was swinging over the city again, her mind desperate to get away...to live in a world where this hadn't happened, but it was different this time. Because it had happened. And she knew that. Helen had done an exam and it had happened and...and someone had raped her. She'd been raped.

When she came back, she was sitting on the sofa, wrapped in a thick throw blanket, and Mr. Stark had his arm around her. On the TV, Moana was playing. She'd mentioned to Mr. Stark at some point that it was her favorite Disney movie. Turning her face, she hid it in his shoulder, and the arm around her tightened, an added level of security. Mr. Stark was there. She was safe. Tentatively, she let her mind wander back to what had happened. She'd been raped. She'd been sexually assaulted. Someone had drugged her. Her brain poked at it, like when she'd lost her teeth in elementary school, one by one, and each time her tongue would poke at the empty spot. At first, there would be pain. A strange soreness. And then, eventually, the pain would be lessen and lessen until it was gone.

The pain wasn't gone. It was there, sharp and fresh and agonizing. But she knew that eventually, it would get a little better. Little by little. And maybe one day, the pain would be gone.

For now, all she could do was lay her head against Mr. Stark's shoulder, the two of them watching her favorite Disney movie while they tried to figure out which words to say that could make this better.

Thank you for reading!