This story came to me one night, during a severe writer's block. I have two other stories in the pipeline, with which I am stuck on page 3. But when this came to my mind, I couldn't get it out of my head and wrote three chapters all at once. It's completely different from all I've written so far; no case, just sappy drama. I hope you still like it. It will be Upstead, but the focus is on something else in the beginning

Chapter 1

Jay Halstead ran towards Med, not knowing what to expect. Trudy Platt had called him just half an hour ago, told him he had to come there immediately. She refused to tell him more on the phone, but her voice made it clear that this wasn't a joke, that this was very urgent.

When he entered through the main doors, the sense of urgency increased, doctors and nurses stared at him, seemed to know more than he did. He walked faster, looking around for someone who might tell him more. Something was very wrong here. Had something happened to one of his colleagues? His unit? Hailey? Why did nobody talk to him? Why did they all give him this sad, knowing and uncomfortable stare?

He saw his brother, ran to him.

"Will, what's going on?"

Will Halstead just took his brother's arm. "Come with me, you're needed in the ICU."

"Will!"

"Jay, come with me. I will explain there."

They ran up the stairs, and when they approached the waiting area, Jay saw Trudy sitting there. Jay stopped dead in his tracks. Next to Trudy sat little boy. Wavy red hair, the greenest eyes, freckles all over his sad, tear-stained face.

"Wh... what?" Jay thought he was dreaming. "Who? He looks like me!"

Will pushed his brother forwards, towards Trudy and the boy.

Trudy softly nodded. "Jay, this is Jake." She put her arm protectively around the boy's shoulders. "Erin's son."

Jay almost fainted. "Is... is he...my...?"

"Yes, Jay," Trudy whispered. "He's your son."

"I had no idea," Jay stuttered. He came closer, not sure what to do with this information. His whole world seemed to shatter right in this moment. Everything he thought he knew, was sure of, everything changed.

Yet when he looked into Jake's face, he got on his knees, softly touched the boy's shoulder.

"Hey, Jake," he said.

"Are you my dad?" Jake asked weakly.

"Yes, I am."

"Mommy said, I will stay with you for a while."

"Then I guess this is what you will do."

Jake slipped from the chair and fell into Jay's arms, much to Jay's surprise. Insecurely Jay wrapped his arms around the small body, stood up, and with Jake in his arms sat down next to Trudy.

"We need to talk about this."

"Yes, Jay, of course," Trudy agreed. "But not right now. There are more urgent issues to take care of."

"I need to talk to you, Jay," Will interrupted. "We're in the ICU for a reason."

Jay tried to put Jake back on the chair, but the little boy didn't have it, clung to his father. "Don't leave me, please, dad, don't leave me," he pleaded and started crying.

"I will never leave you," Jay said earnestly, and he knew that he meant it. More than anything he had ever said. He pulled Jake closer again, one hand on the back of his head, and Jake buried his face in Jay's neck.

"Will, talk to me." Jay stood up again.

"Alone, Jay."

Jay looked into Jake's face. "Jake, would it be okay if you sat down with Trudy for a minute? I promise I won't leave."

"No, daddy, please."

"Jake, I will just go over there with Will. He's your uncle, my brother. And he has to talk to me in private for a minute. I will just stand over there and you can see me all the time."

Jake fell silent, just stared at Jay.

"I promise I will only be over there by the door. I won't go anywhere. Just for a minute."

"Okay," Jake agreed, trying to be brave. He allowed Jay to place him on the chair, his eyes never leaving Jay. He didn't resist when Trudy put her arm around his shoulders again, but he didn't acknowledge it either. He just kept staring at Jay.

Jay and Will stepped aside, Jay kept eye-contact with Jake while walking. Then, when they were standing right where he had told Jake, Jay concentrated on his brother.

"What's going on, Will?"

"Okay," Will spoke very quietly, seriously. "Erin had an accident. Don't ask me why, don't ask me what she was doing here, I don't know. All I know is that she was in Chicago, driving to Bridgeport, and stopped the car. Again, I don't know why. She got out of her car and got run over by another car. The driver had lost control over his car and hit her directly. Your colleagues are currently investigating what exactly happened. It looked like an accident. That's all I know."

"Is she going to be okay?"

With a sad look in his eyes Will shook his head. "No, Jay. She has severe internal injuries and a brain trauma. She is unconscious, and she will not wake up."

Jay felt like losing the ground beneath his feet. Sure, his relationship with Erin had been over for five years, and they hadn't seen each other since then, since the day she had vanished from Chicago. And he had moved on, he didn't love Erin anymore, hardly ever thought about her, had not for a long time. But all this was just too much. She had a son – his son. Hadn't told him about it. She came to Chicago, and now she was dying. Left him with a son he barely knew. The only thing Jay knew, was sure of, was that he was responsible for Jake, that he was all Jake had, and that he would take care of his son. He knew there was nothing he wouldn't do for this boy. Just looking at Jake, Jay had no doubt that he was his father. Jake looked exactly like Jay had when he was his age. Four? Five? And Jay felt it, he just knew that Jake was his son, there was a connection that couldn't be denied.

He hoped Jake was too young to fully comprehend what was going on, that his mother would be gone and left him with a father he barely knew.

"Jay," Will said. "Jay!"

Jay snapped out of his thoughts, shook his head. "What?"

"You want to see Erin?"

"I don't know." Jay admitted. Was he up for this? Did he want this? "You said she won't make it? Are you sure?"

"Yes, Jay," Will answered. "She's almost gone. And she will not know you're there. But this is your last chance."

Jay looked at his son's tiny frame, looking so lost sitting there.

"I think Jake should say good-bye," he decided.

"Okay," Will just said. It was by far not the first time Will had to bring bad news like this to family, friends, even estranged family. But this was different. It was his brother. Will knew how much Erin once had meant to him, how much it had hurt him back then. Still, Will was surprised at how calm Jay seemed, how focused on the boy – his son, whom he had just met. He sensed that there was a determination in Jay's mind, a determination that was typical for his brother, but usually never led to anything good – except for now. Within seconds Jay seemed to have accepted the fact that he was a father, that he had a responsibility, and he didn't only accept it, he embraced it with his whole heart.

"I will talk to Jake," Jay decided and went back to Jake and Trudy.

He sat down next to Jake, who immediately crawled into Jay's lap. Trudy just watched with a sad smile on her face.

"Jake, did Trudy already tell you what happened?"

Jake nodded sadly. "She said my mommy was hurt badly."

"Yes, Jake, very badly."

"But she will be okay?"

Jay shook his head. "No, buddy, she won't. Your mom will not be okay."

Jake stared into Jay's face.

"Jake, your mommy is almost gone. Will you come with me and say good-bye to her?"

"Where is she going?"

"She's dying, Jake." There was no way to sugarcoat this. Jay wasn't sure how much Jake would understand, and he had no idea how to do this. How do you tell a little kid that his mom was about to be gone forever, dying?

Solemnly Jake nodded, surprisingly calm now. "But you won't go?"

"I won't go anywhere without you, Jake. I promise."

"Okay, then I want to say good-bye to mommy."

Jay exchanged a quick glance with Trudy, who nodded appreciatively. "I'll be waiting."

Reluctantly Jay approached the closed door with his brother, carrying Jake in his arms. Will slowly opened the door and let Jay enter.

Erin was lying in the bed in the center of the room, hooked up to several monitors. There were no beeping sounds, everything was silent. She was covered by a blanket, only her arms and head were visible, and there was a bruise on her forehead. All other injuries were covered up. Jake was now trembling in Jay's arms, and very slowly the little boy turned his head towards his mother. Carefully Jay lowered him, sat him on the side of the bed.

Jake just stared at his mother, and Jay was almost shivering at the sight – Jake reminded him so much of himself, and Jay was sure he knew what was going on in Jake's head.

Cautiously Jake extended his hand, touched Erin's face.

"Mommy," he whispered.

Erin didn't move, and Jay knew she was almost gone.

"Mommy," Jake repeated. "Mommy, daddy's here with me. He said you're hurt."

Jay tried hard to stop himself from crying, more for Jake's pain than for anything else. He touched Jake's shoulder, left his hand there.

"Good-bye, mommy," Jake whispered. "I don't want you to go."

"Jake, she doesn't want to leave you. But she has no choice."

In that moment Will interrupted. "Jay, we should go."

"Why?"

"I'll explain later."

"Jake," he softly said. "Jake, we need to leave mommy now."

Jake looked up at his father, kissed Erin's face. "Bye mommy. Please come back one day."

Jay didn't comment, just briefly touched Erin's arm. "Good-bye, Erin. You know, it shouldn't have ended like this."

Then he picked up Jake and followed Will outside, not looking back.

"What's going on?"

"Jay, Voight is on his way with Bunny. I figured you didn't want to see her. Not today." Will explained.

He was right, Jay had no interest in seeing Erin's mom, the most toxic person he knew.

"Let's go downstairs, we can talk there." Will suggested and nodded in Trudy's direction.

Trudy stood up too and followed the brothers down the stairs. "I called Hailey, Jay. She'll be here soon."

Jay stared at her for a split-second. "Thank you, Trudy."

"She's your partner, and your best friend, you need her now. And she needs to know," Trudy explained.

Mechanically Jay nodded. "Yes, you're right."

Downstairs Will led them into a separate room, where they wouldn't be disturbed.

"Jake, want a hot chocolate? Or a soda? You want to come with me to the cafeteria?" Will asked.

Jake shook his head. "Not thirsty. I want to stay with daddy."

To Jay it felt strange being addressed as daddy, but it felt right, and he liked the sound of it. If it only had happened under different circumstances. Jay had never seen himself as a father, had never before thought about having kids, and now – after less than an hour – it was the most normal, most right thing he could imagine. He caressed Jake's hair. "I'm here with you, Jake."

"I'll get you something to drink anyway, leave you alone for a moment," Will decided. "And when Hailey arrives, I'll bring her here."

Jay nodded a thank you to his brother.

Once Will had closed the door, Jay looked at Trudy, inquiringly.

"What do you know, Trudy? Why didn't Erin tell me that I have a son?"

Trudy shook her head sadly. "I can't answer that question, Jay. Hank knows. He has known it all along."

"What?" Jay tried very hard to stay calm, for his son's sake. He didn't want to scare him by being aggressive or angry. Jake needed to know he could trust him.

"Hank knew, and he will explain – I hope. He called me yesterday."

"That's before the accident."

"Yes, it is. He told me Erin wanted to bring Jake here, to you. Something about her fiance not accepting him."

"She wanted to get rid of Jake?" Jay felt anger building up inside him, but he forced himself to stay calm once again. "That worked well."

"Jay, don't shoot the messenger. I didn't know before either. And I wouldn't have supported her in keeping this from you. But now you're here, and Jake's here."

"And I will take care of my son," Jay said.

In this moment the door was opened and Hailey entered.

She looked around, irritated. Clearly she had heard the last sentence. She froze in the door.

"Come in, Hailey," Trudy said, waving Hailey inside, made her sit between herself and Jay.

"Jay, you have a son?" Hailey asked, clearly shocked. "Why didn't you tell anyone?"

"Because until two hours ago, I didn't know myself," he answered.

Trudy stepped in. "Hank told me, Erin was pregnant when she left for New York. She found out only a few days afterwards, and she only told Hank. According to Hank she didn't want Jay to know. Yesterday Hank called me and told me about it. Told me that Erin was on her way here to drop Jake with him or with Jay, I'm not sure about that. Erin was about to get married and her fiance didn't accept Jake."

"So she drops him off with Jay, because she wants to get rid of him?" Hailey couldn't believe what she heard. She tried to talk quietly though, hoping the boy didn't listen or understand what they were talking about.

"I'm not sure what she intended," Trudy said. "Perhaps she just needed a few days. Don't assume the worst."

"And why are we here, in a hospital?" Hailey asked.

"Because Erin had an accident," Trudy explained quietly. "She didn't make it."

Hailey's eyes widened. She looked from Trudy to Jay, to Jake.

"Oh, Jay," she managed to say, put her hand on his arm. "I'm so sorry."

Jay slowly shook his head. "I'm okay, Hailey. Shocked, but okay. Jake..."

Jake lifted his head from Jay's shoulder, timidly looked at Hailey, who smiled at him. "Hey," she said. "I'm Hailey. I'm your dad's partner."

"She's lying," Jay said, trying to lighten the mood. "She's not only my partner, but my best friend. Hailey's the best person you can imagine."

Jake gave her a tentative smile.

"Nice to meet you, Jake," Hailey said softly.

Jake didn't speak, gave Hailey a weak smile and then buried his head in Jay's shoulder again.

"Hailey, there's no doubt he's my son. And I will take care of him."

"Okay."

"Will you help me, please?"

Hailey nodded. "Of course, I will. I haven't got any experience with kids either, but I will help. And so will the team."

"And Mouch and I will be there as well," Trudy said. "And Hank."

"Hank," Jay said, thinking. "I will need to talk to him."

"I know, Jay," Trudy agreed. "But not today."

"No, today he's bringing Bunny," Jay said, emotionless.

Jake suddenly listened up. "Grandma's here?" he whispered.

"She's upstairs."

Jake started trembling once again. "Please don't let her take me," he pleaded. "Please."

What had happened? Why was Jake so afraid of Bunny? Sure, Jay disliked the woman with a passion, but why was his son afraid of her?

"Nobody will take you. I will not make you see your grandmother." Jay assured his son. "I promise. You're safe with me."

They stayed in the room for a while, Will returned with coffee for the adults, and a hot chocolate for Jake, they talked a while longer, let Jake get accustomed to the situation. Eventually Mouch joined in, confirmed what Trudy had said – they would be there for Jake as well, would help Jay.

At one point Jake fell asleep in Jay's arms, he was so exhausted by all that had happened within the last few hours, and Jay decided to take him home.

When he stood in the room, Jay looked around, suddenly remembering something.

"I don't have anything for Jake at home. No food, no clothes, no toys. How can I get his things?"

Hailey approached him. "I'll go and have a look, perhaps there was something in Erin's car. And I'll do some shopping. I'll drop by later."

Jay gave her a grateful smile.

Trudy and Mouch were ready to leave, too. "I'll talk to Hank," Trudy promised. "You will have a few days off, don't show up at 21st before Monday. And you too, Hailey. You will need the time to make sure Jake is okay."