"I'm really going to miss Gravity Falls, but it'll be nice to relax a bit after everything we've been through," Dipper sighed as he leaned into the bus seat as they pulled back into Piedmont, California.

"I know what you mean," Mabel agreed. "Seriously, it seems like this summer lasted forever," she commented before seeing her brother wince at the particular phrase. "Sorry."

"No it's fine, we both learned forever is stupid," Dipper chuckled.

"Pssh, yeah, awkward teenage years, it can't possibly be worse than what we went through." Mabel agreed as no matter how horrible highschool would be, surviving the Oddpocalyse would make it a cakewalk.

"Hey, who's that lady on the front lawn with our parents?" Dipper asked as the bus stopped in front of the home.

"I dunno but I love her dress," Mabel gasped as she hurried off the bus and into her parent's arms. "Mom, dad!" the thirteen year old girl excitedly shouted. "I have so much to tell you."

"That's nice sweetie," Mrs. Pines patted her daughter on the head. "But, we have something we need to discuss," her tone confused as she had been confronted by information she didn't know how to comprehend. "This woman is here to talk to Dipper."

"Hello, my name is Professor Minerva McGonagall, and I am here to invite your brother to our school of witchcraft and wizardry." The witch introduced herself as she extended a letter to the teenage boy. "However this is unusual."

"How so?" Dipper wondered what could be up as he looked at the letter, not the least bit concerned about the magic behind it.

"Normally an American would go to Ilvermorny, the school on this continent, yet for some reason Hogwarts created a letter for you, there were anomalies in the last few days that might explain it, but if Hogwarts made a letter then it is the school you are enrolled in." McGonagall explained.

"Huh, I guess not all of Weirdmaggedon was contained then," Dipper mused as he read the sheet of parchment in his hands.

"Additionally, you are two years older than a normal student," Minerva continued.

"Probably had to do with the Law of Weirdness Magnetism," Dipper mumbled. "I mean, this seems kind of strange."

"Wait," Mr. Pines interrupted. "Why are you not questioning any of this?" he asked his son, wondering why someone saying all this nonsense about witches and wizards wasn't drawing a single sarcastic remark from their son who, just a few months prior would have scoffed at the idea of magic being real.

"Oh, I did plenty of magic in Gravity Falls, met a few others who did as well," Dipper commented offhandedly. "So I guess it makes sense, but I'd have to go where for this school?"

"Scotland," Minerva answered.

"Our son would have to leave the country to go to some school?" Mrs. Pines gasped. "I don't want my son gone, I just got him back." Tightly wrapping her arms around her children and pulling them close to her.

"I think you should go Bro-bro," Mabel said with a smile, completely ignoring her parent's antics as she decided it would be better to confer with her brother on this topic.

"You sure? I mean, you kind of reacted badly to the idea of me being Great Uncle Ford's apprentice," Dipper asked.

"Yeah well, I thought about how bratty I was being," Mabel scratched her head as she explained her thought process. "It's not like I would never see you again, plus you're really good at all this weirdness junk and I should have supported you, not thought about how I didn't benefit from it. So I want to do that now," Mabel extended her arms. "Awkward sibling hug?"

"Awkward sibling hug," Dipper smiled as he pulled Mabel close.

"Pat pat."

"So when can I start?" Dipper asked Professor McGonagall as he figured he might as well get started now before he got settled in at home.

"And this is Diagon Alley," the woman said as the bricks moved out of the way for the family.

"Oh my gosh, this is so awesome," Mabel said excitedly as she saw all the witches and wizards wandering around shopping.

"We will need to go Gringotts to exchange your currency into something usable," Minerva said to the group as they walked by the shops and headed to the large bank.

"Cool, hey Dipper what are those?" Mabel pointed to the teller, unsure what type of creature they were.

"Hmm, based on head shape, ear size and number of teeth, those are goblins." Dipper answered before Minerva could.

"Oooh, do you think they know the Gremloblin?" Mabel asked loudly, causing the goblins to stop working and making the bank lobby eerily quiet suddenly. "He never did pick up his last pay check from us."

"Probably not Mabel I think he was too busy running away, and we're not even in the same country, it'd be like if any of the unicorns here know the ones from Gravity Falls." Dipper waved off his sister. "Plus, I'm sure the amount of damage the Gremloblin did to the shack is more than his pay would have been for one day of work."

"How exactly are we supposed to pay for all of this, it's looks very expensive," Mrs. Pines inquired.

"We'll exchange your currency here," McGonagall stopped at one of the booths.

"Oooh oooh," Mabel said as she pushed forward. "How much is this worth?" pulling out a few of the gems and coins she and the other girls had been generously donated, also known as, gotten from beating up the unicorns. The goblin teller looked at the small pile of wealth before stepping away to grab another goblin to confer as it was not every day someone came in with a decent sized amount of treasure.

After a moment of deliberation the first goblin came back, "We are proud to make the exchange however we will require time to process the value of the gems, in exchange for the gold we can provide this amount," Passing over a slip that had a number more than fourteen thousand galleons on it.

"Wait, aren't we just trading gold coins for other gold coins?" Dipper inquired as to the need to go through this seemingly extra step.

"No, galleons are simply gold plated, as such solid gold is worth more, it is why it is not worth more than the current value of British pounds. Unicorn Gold is of the highest standard of gold." The goblin informed the group. "We will have a vault set up for you where we will have the current amount of your currency placed into, for now would you like to make any withdrawals?"

"Oh, well, I don't know how much stuff I need," Dipper shrugged as he turned to McGonagall for an estimate.

She however was confused at how unusually polite the goblins were being. "Typically a first year student would require around one hundred galleons to ensure they could purchase all of their supplies, but you will likely need more than just the first year texts."

"Okay so two hundred galleons, out of that sum you quoted me, if it's not a problem?" Dipper requested.

"Certainly," The goblin nodded, the closest thing to a bow it was capable of doing.

"Should we be concerned that our daughter was carrying around jewels bigger than the hope diamond?" Mr. Pines asked, unsure where those riches came from.

"I'm still trying to figure out what a gremloblin is?" Mrs. Pines shrugged.

"So we finally managed to get you out of the book store bro-bro," Mabel chuckled as Dipper shoved a massive stack of books into trunk.

"It wasn't that bad," Dipper retorted, it didn't even take more than three hours in there for him to get his supplies, a couple extra books that might be good for supplemental reading, some fun time reading, some not fun time reading and just somethings that caught his eye.

"We had to stop you from defacing that poor book because it had wrong information," Mabel shoved her brother with a laugh, it had been hilarious to watch.

"It was right to be scared, that information on pixies is a travesty," Dipper shouted as he couldn't get a copy of the Monstrous Book of Monsters because they kept hiding after he pulled out the permanent marker.

"Let's just get your wand," Minerva groaned as the day had been exhausting. This new student was going to drive everyone up a wall at Hogwarts.

"Neat," Dipper smiled as he wanted to see what spells he could do with a focus that was professionally made as opposed to some of his own he had cobbled together.

"This is so boring," Mabel whined as she watched her brother go through wand after wand to try and find the right one.

"How about this, Pine with a Phoenix Feather core, seven inches. It has to be this one," Olivander said as he too was frustrated at this difficult customer.

"No sorry, nothing," Dipper shrugged.

"Minerva are you having a go at an old man, this boy reacts to nothing I give him," Olivander pointed. "I even tried some of the wands my father and his father made, nothing, this boy hasn't a drop of magic in him."

"He received a Hogwarts letter, I do not know what the issue is," McGonagall denied any part in a prank.

"Maybe I'm not a wizard then?" Dipper shrugged. "Not like I thought I was one when I was doing magic." Lifting his arms. "llepS elpmiS," he said as he held out his hand and incanted for a simple spell that would put all the wands back on the shelves.

"I don't know," Olivander tossed up his hands. "Take this one and if it starts giving you trouble, come back to me," handing him the last wand he had tried.

"Well that's certainly something," Minvera hummed as she hadn't expected the young man to be at the point of wandless magic, but she thought on that for a moment. 'If he couldn't get a wand to work for him, then of course he'd learn it that way.'

"So what's next?" Dipper asked as he stood with his belongings in the alley. "It's going to be pretty difficult for me to get to and from the country just to go to school every day."

"Oh did I forget to mention, Hogwarts is a boarding school." Minerva corrected the child.

"Wait, wait, wait," Mr. Pines stepped forward. "You didn't say anything about that, I assumed he'd go once or twice a week to learn a few tricks, not stay there for months on end."

"It's fine, I'm sure there's some system in place for me to communicate with you, I'll call," Dipper suggested.

"Phones do not work in Hogwarts." Minerva stated, blowing that idea out of the water.

Nodding his head and rubbing his chin. "Mabel, contact Great Uncle Ford, see if he has a way to shield a phone from magic so I can call you guys."

"You really want to do this Dipper?" Mabel asked.

Thinking on the idea, Dipper smiled at his twin. "Yeah, I do, I'm sure it'll be good for me, and plus, when I get back all show you all the cool magic I can do."

Mabel seemed hesitant, but decided her brother knew best. "I'm gonna miss you bro-bro." Giving him a hug as she wanted to get in as many as she could before he started school in another country.

"Hey, chin up, I'm sure Archimedes can send letters to Grenda and Candy, maybe Wendy too," he added under his breath.

"What was that?" Mabel grinned.

"I mean uh, Robbie, yeah, no. Soos, that's better, less weird," Dipper suddenly said, trying to cover his slip up. "Oh and also Pacifica, McGuckett, the multi-bear, the gnomes, jeez that's a lot of people to send letters to." He realized as he went off on a tangent about all the friends he made over the summer.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure everyone gets one," Mabel promised.

"Man that train is a pain to get to," Dipper said as he get onto the Hogwarts Express. A boy with black hair passed him by and commented on what Dipper said.

"Ugh, tell me about it." Harry shook his head remembering that last two times he dealt with Platform Nine and Three Quarters.

Dipper still got on the train and started looking around the compartments for a place to sit, since he didn't know anyone, he wasn't sure where to go. He finally found a compartment with a young blonde girl who was sitting by herself. "Hey, do you mind if I sit here, other places are kind of full?" he asked the person who was in the small room first.

Luna set down her paper in her lap and looked at the person who was speaking to her. "Oh my yes please," she happily said. "You have a wonderful aura."

"Thanks," Dipper smiled at the compliment. "No one's ever told me that before."

"Whatever you do is working great, because I've not seen too many people such a lovely shade of purple." Luna sighed as she looked at the boy. "I wish my own wasn't so cloudy." she lamented.

"That's okay," Dipper said as he rubbed his head. "I'm sure yours will clear up in no time."

"That's very kind of you to say." Luna smiled. "My name is Luna Lovegood, but my friends call me Loony."

"That's not a compliment," Dipper responded.

"I know, but they laugh when they say it, so I laugh with them, it's almost like having friends." Luna shrugged.

Dipper chuckled nervous as he was pretty sure this girl wasn't joke. 'I must protect this child,' Dipper's instincts began screaming at him. "I'm Dipper Pines, and I won't ever call you Loony," he promised.

"Okay Dipper," Luna smiled, not wanting to make a comment how he wasn't the first to say that to her and then later become a liar when they inevitably decide it's easier to be friends with the people making fun of her.

After an awkward silence Dipper noticed the newspaper. "What's that you're reading?" Dipper asked.

"The Quibbler, it's a newspaper that tries to tell the truth that people don't want to hear." Luna explained.

"I can dig that," Dipper smiled as he was happy to see that some form of anti-establishment media existed in the magical world.

"My dad says eventually we'll make it big," Luna said sadly. "We only have a few subscribers though." Passing the paper over to Dipper to take a read.

"Crumple-Horned Snorkack," Dipper read the name of the creature that the Quibbler had a bounty out for proof of it's existence. "Maybe there's something like this in Gravity Falls," he hummed as he pulled out the copies of the journals that Great Uncle Ford had sent him. "Let's see, Stomach-faced duck... Lilli-putt-ians... Plaidypus... hmm, sorry, I haven't seen one, but don't worry, you'll find one eventually." Dipper smiled as he closed the journal and put them back in his pocket. He was incredibly happy that charms could be put on clothes to expand space, so now he could keep all the journals on him at all times.

Luna stared the strange new older boy with caution for a moment as she hadn't heard of any of those creatures before, but she couldn't sense that he was being disingenuous with her. "Right, well... thanks anyway," decided to go with caution. "We're going to be close to the castle, so we need to get changed, she said as she stood up and started to pull her top off.

Dipper scrambled to get out of the compartment before the girl had gotten her shirt off. "Jeez, do magical people just have different standards when it comes to nudity?" Dipper blushed as he was at that age when he thought more intimately about girls than he had even a few months ago.

He stumbled to the floor when the train suddenly slammed on it's breaks, "Woah, what the?" Dipper groaned as he picked himself up off the floor. The lights overhead beginning to flicker. "Okay, well that's not spooky," rolling his eyes as he pulled out his flashlight and started to shine it around the train carriage.

After an entire summer of constant threats, Dipper was better able to notice the changes in his surroundings. "Okay, temperature is dropping," he noted as he felt a sudden chill along with seeing his breath and frost forming on the windows. "Oh man," Dipper's eyes widened as he realized that what was causing this was some type of specter. "Oh man, oh man." Looking around for other tell tale signs of the class he was dealing with.

"Didn't think I'd be this tired," Dipper yawned, as he felt a presence getting closer. "NO! I'm not tired it's sucking out my soul!" Dipper suddenly shouted. "That's class 5," he realized as while dangerous, they typically required time to drain you of your soul. "Now where is it?" He thought out loud as he started to search for the thing. Seeing a black cloak floating down the hallway of another train cart, he ran down the line to catch it.

"Get back here," Dipper ordered as students peak out of their compartments to see a strange kid run by flipping pages in a book. They could see he was on a direct course for the dementor. "Exodus Demonus." he started to chant loudly.

"Spookus Scarus Ainafraidus No Ghostus" He was hot on the heels of the creature that paid him no mind but was searching for something. When it stopped at a door, seemingly having found what it was looking for. This pause allowed Dipper to be right next to the creature and finish his banishing spell.

"Bumpus Goosus Shamalaaan!" Dipper shouted as the creature recoiled away and fled out of the train car. "Dang it," Dipper growled, taking one step forward to continue his pursuit when a firm hand pulled him into the compartment.

"What is wrong with you?" an older haggard looking man asked him.

"Do you mean on a psychological level or just in general?" Dipper flatly inquired as the intent of the question mattered to how he responded.

Shaking his head in disbelief Professor Lupin, just pushed the teenager out of the compartment and back into the empty hallways now that the train began moving again. "Just go get your robes on," Remus sighed as he could tell this student would be a problem if his first instinct was to run at a dementor armed only with a diary and yelling random Latin.

Tugging on his hat he got from Wendy he stomped back down the line of rooms. "Get no respect, stop a class five ghost and people wonder if I'm sane." He pouted all the way up to the castle while Luna hummed a strange tune and continued to read her paper.

"First years, first years over here," Hagrid bellowed over the sounds of the students chatter. The shorter eleven year old children began to herd over by the half-giant.

Deciding this adult must work for the school Dipper headed over with the younger kids. "Hello, I'm Dipper Pines, a transfer student," Dipper said as that was probably the easiest way to explain what he was. "So do I go with you?" He asked the groundskeeper.

"Oh, yeah, guess you would," Hagrid rubbed his nose. "Don't get too many foreign students. Alright, well follow along, I'm sure Professor McGonagall will know what to do with you." he said as he hefted his belly and led the students to the boats.

The time crossing the lake was interesting, he hadn't been out on a boat since his incident with the Gobblewonker, but he had to admit the sight of the Castle was pretty damn impressive. He quietly hung out in the back of the group of kids who were excited about starting their learning at the school. Dipper meanwhile was just wondering when he could eat, he didn't bring any snacks with him on the train, not expecting it to be an over eight hour ride.

"Hmm, seems to be a decent sized crop this year," the Fat Friar noted as he and Nearly Headless Nick floated through the walls, startling the younger students.

"Seriously, more ghosts," Dipper complained as he raised his hand and began to chant the banishing spell again.

"Woah, woah, woah." the Fat Friar waved his hands. "Hang on now, no need to do that, we're not causing any trouble."

"Oh yeah, why should I believe you?" Dipper stopped chanting as he waited to here the pleas of the undead.

"We are house ghosts." Gesturing between himself and his compatriot. "We help the school and students, we aren't a threat to them."

Dipper lowered his hand. "Alright, but I got my eye on you, any bleeding from the walls and turning people into wood and we're going to have problems," He said flashing a silver mirror he kept on him that Pacifica had gifted him, just in case and not because she liked him or anything.

The ghosts floated back through the walls to get to the Great Hall to warn the other specters that a new student who really knew his stuff was going to be in the castle, so to keep on their best behavior.

"Alright students, please form orderly lines and come with me into the Great Hall for the sorting ceremony," McGonagall instructed as the kids hurried to into neat rows before the elderly witch led them into the large feasting hall.

Dipper had figured after they passed the P's that he would be done last, which didn't bother him, he was after all the new kid. "And lastly, we have a third year transfer student, from the Colonies," Dipper blinked at the term the witch used for him being from America. "Mason Pines."

Walking through the whispering crowd as a transfer student was so infrequent it almost never happened. Dipper seated himself on the stool when the talking hat was put on his head. "Well, let's have a look see shall we," the Hat said as it began it's dive into the memories of the student to find it's best traits.

The students and staff quietly waited to hear where this new student would go when suddenly the hat began screaming in horror. "Oh God above, what the fucking hell, headmaster, HEADMASTER!" The Hat continued to shout as it panicked while sifting deeper through Dipper's memories.

Albus was startled as he had never had something like this happen before in a sorting and hurried over. "Put me on you old fool," the Hat berated Dumbledore who placed the cap on his head. "This, we are NOT prepared for something like this." He said as he showed the headmaster what he had seen in Dipper's mind.

Albus gulped down the bile that had built in the back of his throat. "Well then, that is," Albus stammered as he quietly sat back down in his seat. "Mr. Pines, after dinner we..." motioning to the other members of the staff. "Are going to have a discussion as to what you have done this summer. Now have a seat at whichever table you like."

Shrugging Dipper walked over to the little blonde girl he shared a train ride with, he frowned because of how much space the other students were giving her. "Hey Luna," Dipper greeted the girl as he saw the food appear on the table. "Wow, that's impressive." He smirked as he loaded up his plate.

"Hello Dipper," Luna smiled back as she grabbed a whole bowl of pudding. "So, you did something to scare the hat and Headmaster Dumbledore."

"Yeah, they saw what I did this summer in Gravity Falls, I'm probably in a lot of trouble," Dipper sighed as he poked at his food.

"Well I'm sure what you did wasn't that bad," Luna patted his arm comfortingly. "If you properly explain yourself then I believe that you won't be in any trouble."

"Thanks Luna," Dipper offered a weak smile at the consolation he was being given.

"Albus, what happened?" Minerva asked as all the teachers turned on the headmaster to find out why the Sorting Hat reacted the way it did.

"Over the summer, every single living being in existence would have died, if not for that brave young man," Albus said seriously. "He faced an evil that made Tom Riddle look like a whining toddler, and, the most impressive part, he's a muggle." Albus chuckled.

"What?!"

"Yes, he's a muggle who has somehow learned to perform magic," Albus smiled. "It's astonishing, I'd love to understand how he and his Great Uncle managed to break down magic into an understandable science. Why I'm certain in a few years, he could leave our school with numerous masteries just from his understanding of magic alone."

"Albus, you've never been like this are you sure you are alright?" Poppy inquired as the headmaster's behavior was very strange at the moment.

"Oh I'm going to need dreamless sleep potions every night this week for certain, and a few calming draughts throughout the day to keep me from panicking but I should be alright." Albus smiled at the school nurse as he gave his answer before tucking into his meal.

Dipper found himself sitting in a chair as the other Hogwart's teachers stood around a stone basin. After a while they fell out of the liquid. "This has to be fake, there's no way this could be true." Pomona shook her head.

"Why it flies in the face of nearly everything we know about magic," Bathsheda Babbling happily said. "It's incredible, and muggles were able to do this out of a small shack."

Severus was pinching his arm forcefully. "Aliens are real, aliens are real, aliens are real," he muttered over and over.

"I'm sorry," Dipper shrugged as he didn't know what to say in this situation.

"No my dear boy, thank you, you have done more than any one person should have and stopped a far greater evil than I believe possible." Albus bowed respectfully.

"Does that mean I have to go home since I'm not a wizard?" Dipper wondered as he figured it was a rule that he couldn't be here if he wasn't one of them.

"Normally yes, however-" Albus started to answer.

"Dibs!" Filius suddenly announced, cutting off the professor as he knew that this student was going to be able to stay. "The Hat didn't give him a house, I call dibs."

"What are you talking about, the young man is loyal to the bone," Pomona huffed. "He's incredibly hardworking, he should be a badger."

"Did we not see the monsters he fought, if that's not brave, I don't know what it is," Minerva smirked. "He's lionhearted."

"While creative and clever, I believe the other members of Slytherin would take his presence poorly, even if I think he has talent." Severus admitted as he could tell there were very few people who could brew the complex potions this boy had.

"Poppycock," Filius said. "He certainly has the traits of the other houses, but that brilliant mind, that desire to search for the truth, if he's not a Ravenclaw I'll eat my beard."

"If it's all the same, I think I'd like to join the house Luna was in, I'm already acquainted with her, so I'd at least know someone already."

"And I got blondes, the boy likes blondes," Filius added on as he had seen the way the young Lady Northwest interacted with Mr. Pines.

"I, you," letting out a sigh, Dipper hid his face to cover up his blush. "Kind of," Dipper admitted.

"Ugh, boys," Pomona scoffed as Minerva shook her head in agreement. "I have a perfectly good redhead if that's the standard we're going with."

Minerva barked out a laugh. "I have too many of them," she chuckled. "Want to trade a few students?"

"And have you dump the twins on me, not likely," Pomona snickered.

"Well we'll certainly need to adjust his schedule," Albus said ignoring his heads of house's banter. "He can perform well in Potions, Arithmancy, Runes, and Care of Magical Creatures, however because he is unable to use a wand, that may cause issues in classes such as Defense, Transfiguration and Charms."

"He can attend those lessons, if he can't do the work, then so be it, but he can learn the principles behind the lessons and there is a chance he will be able to use it with the same method he uses to cast his own magic." Minerva commented as she would love to see a muggle perform the work she assigned her other students.

"Well now that that is settled," Filius said as he started to usher Dipper out of the room. "I will take Mr. Pines to get acquainted with his housemates. And then take a dreamless sleep potion because those nightmares will haunt me for years."

"Man, this is not how I thought my day would go," Dipper said to himself as he laid back on the bed in the Ravenclaw dorms. "I wonder what tomorrow is going to be like."