His vision blurred as the scenery around him changed in rapid succession. The lights from houses and streetlamps merged into one long glare, flashing at his eyes as it flew passed him. Or was he the one who's moving?

Sweat (or tears) fell from his eyes, clouding his sights, but he went on.

He was just running.

In truth, he didn't know from what he was running from because as far as he's concerned, no matter how far he got, the hurt was still there, pounding on his very being with an impact that can drive one to insanity.

But he ignored it. Still, he ran.

Before he knew it, his surroundings were starting to get more unfamiliar and his body seemed more than ready to give up. Rapid heartbeat pounded on his ears, his chest constricting. His muscles were so fatigued he knew that once he fell, it would take sometime before he can get up again. His lungs are a few puffs away from exploding and his sobs were exhausting all of his energy.

People say that everything's just mind over matter. If you have a mind strong enough to control the things around you, you'll be fine. He's never really tried testing the theory but he wanted to see how true that is.

When his legs gave up on him, he found himself kissing the ground. Still, he tried to get up but apparently, the laws of physiology won't allow it. His muscles ached but he ignored it. His heart and lungs were so exhausted he wasn't sure where one ended and the other one began. His chest was just one bulk of pain. But still, he ignored it.

He wanted to run away. As far from that place as possible.

Finally giving up, he stayed put for a while, kneeling on the grass, his forehead on the ground.

As if triggered by the sudden relaxation of the body, images from earlier assaulted his mind.

The tears came again.

Pushing back the errant emotions at the farthest back of his brain as possible, he tried to get up again, only to have his arms fail him and he fell back down to the grass. Rolling over, he tried to keep the tears from coming out.

Crying doesn't help. It never did. When he was young, every time someone blamed him for something he never did, he would cry. But no one would help him. Except his Shishou. So what's the use in crying now? Just because he now has people around him who'd say they help him when he needs it doesn't change anything. Just because he has…he shook his head, pushing the memory away.

No. He's alone. He was always alone and that's how things will stay. Caring for someone is a liability. It's a weakness.

Some say that when you have people who care for you, you can face anything. If you have people you care about, you'll be willing to face anything. Maybe they haven't had those people turn their backs on them. Maybe they've never been betrayed.

Betrayed. Who would've thought? Things like that aren't supposed to happen to him. He did a good job. He built a wall so tall and so thick around him that not even air can pass through. It's not possible.

But it was. Otherwise, he won't be in this position. He wouldn't have run so far to try to get away only to find out that it makes no difference.

He had been an idiot. He knew from the beginning. But did he stop it? Instead, he encouraged it, succumbed to it only to have it slap him across the face he was even lucky to be alive.

Sobs wracked his body once again. Turning to his side, he gagged as the effects of water loss took its toll on him as he coughed and threw up on the grass beside the spot where his head laid a while ago.

He stared at the now wet grass. What am I doing?