Epilogue to Logan's wedding
Kurt stared after his friend as Logan left the church. He might not have understood the words that Mariko had spoken but the actions that accompanied them were easily read. The look on Logan's face, was enough to show that something was very wrong.
Kurt exchanged looks with the others and saw the same uncertainty on their faces that he himself felt about what they should do. Had it been anyone else he'd have gone straight after them and offered comfort, but this was Logan, a loner by nature, it was very unlikely that he would want anyone near him especially now. Logan preferred to be alone where he could lick his wounds in private, they probably wouldn't be able to find him before he was ready to face them.
" Maybe someone should go and see if he's ahlright?" Rogue suggested.
" I'm not sore that's such a good idea," Scott watched the church doors as if he could see right through them to where Logan was. "You know how private he is, to approach him now would be suicidal."
"That may be so but I for one am not willing to watch a friend who's obviously in pain, suffer alone!" Storm made to go after Logan.
" Wait!" Kurt put an arm out to stop her, " you should give him some time alone. We should go back to the hotel, he will come back eventually and we can try und talk to him then."
Storm sighed, " Very well, we will wait and see what happens."
They all gathered their things together before setting off to the hotel with heavy hearts.
Once he'd left the church, Logan did something that he'd rarely done in his life. He ran. He'd had enough control to walk from the church even as the tears formed in his eyes, but as soon as he was out of their sight he bolted not wanting to be caught in a moment of weakness. He'd kept on running until he finally reached the main park in the city. In the relatively safe seclusion of a wooded area, he sat himself with his back to a tree.
Taking several deep breaths, he attempted to empty his mind of all thoughts and tried to stop the flow of tears that threatened. Putting his years of experience into practice, Logan locked away the pain he felt at Mariko's rejection. Finally taking note of his surroundings, he noticed that it had grown dark and even though he wasn't sure how long he'd been sat there, he knew that the others were probably worried.
Apon reaching the hotel, the remaining X-men had gathered in Rogue's room to await Logan's return.
" Darn it Kurt! Will ya sit still." Rogue's temper finally snapped as the blue skinned X-man backflipped to land on the back of her chair.
He'd been doing similar acrobatic feats ever since they'd entered the room.
" Entchuligung Rogue." Kurt gave her an apologetic look, trying to contain the urge to continue his antics.
The noise of a door closing interrupted the rest of their conversation. The x-men looked at each other.
" It's Logan!" Kitty exclaimed bolting for the door, eager to see how her friend was.
"Wait!" Scott commanded stopping her and the others who'd gotten up to follow her. " I don't think he'll appreciate it if we all barge in there. I think only one of us should go in."
" Then who?" asked Rogue.
Scott looked around the room at the concerned faces; all of them wanted to check on their friend.
Storm spoke up, " I think Kurt should go, he is the obvious choice."
" Ich?!" Kurt looked at her in surprise.
" Yes, you are the one he confides in the most and you are the person he considers as his best friend."
" Best friend?" confusion began to mix with his surprise.
" Yeah sugah, he's called you that before."
Kurt wasn't sure what to make of the revelation. He and Logan had always gotten on well together, but to be Logan's best friend? That was an honor that he wasn't sure he was worthy of but if he could help his friend in any way then he would. " Ok, I will do what I can."
Kurt stood outside of the door of the room that he shared with Logan, he hesitated, unsure of his reception. Before he could make a decision the door opened and Logan stood there watching him.
" Ya can come in Elf, I won't bite." The tone was light but the smile didn't reach his eyes.
Kurt followed his friend into the room. He watched as his friend paced the room feeling rather awkward. How on earth could he get Logan to talk? Storm would've been a much better choice.
Logan suddenly sat on the bed making Kurt's decision for him.
"D'ya think I was expecting too much?" he suddenly looked at Kurt.
The pain and anguish in his friend's eyes almost made Kurt run.
"Was?"
" D'ya think I was expecting too much from her? I mean it can't have been easy for her or anyone for that matter. I can see why she wouldn't want to marry someone like me." he trailed off lowering his head.
Kurt rapidly closed the distance between them and started to reach out a hand before stopping himself unsure whether physical comfort would be welcome.
" What do you mean?" he asked instead, hoping to keep his friend talking.
" Look at me Elf!" Logan lifted his head long enough to look at his friend, before letting his gaze drop back to the floor. " I'm more animal than man, why would anyone want me?"
He spoke so quietly that Kurt had trouble catching what he said.
" Nein! I do not believe that und neither do you mein Freund." This time Kurt did reach out to lay a hand on Logan's shoulder.
" Kurt you've seen my track record with women, they're scared of me! And any of them who do love me back get hurt or even killed!! I don't want to spend the rest of my life on my own!" he was horrified to find that the tears were threatening to fall once again.
He turned away quickly hoping that Kurt hadn't noticed.
Kurt looked at his friend, surprised by the outburst and shocked to see tears filling Logan's eyes. For a moment Kurt didn't know what to do. For the first time he realised just how deeply Logan was affected by his inability to completely control his animalistic side.
He also realised that Logan needed him, he didn't want to be alone with his pain any more, or otherwise Logan would have chucked him out of the room long ago. Kurt knew that now it would be up to him to make the first move because this was as far as Logan would go in reaching out and asking for help. His pride would stop him from going any further and one wrong word from Kurt would send him running.
Removing his hand, Kurt sat on the bed next to his friend and waited a few moments to allow his friend time to compose himself. Eventually Logan turned back to look at Kurt, his eyes still red from the tears that he'd been trying to hold back.
For a moment Kurt was startled by the intensity of his gaze and the amount of pain and despair that he saw there he'd never even come close to seeing Logan look so vulnerable and uncertain and suddenly Kurt realised what it was that Logan needed from him. All his life Logan had relied solely on himself, toughing it out. Everyone saw him as something more (or was it less) than human. Kurt realised that his friend needed to be reassured that he was human and that someone did care about him.
Seeing Logan watching him he could almost sense the fear that he'd be rejected again. Desperate to allay his fears Kurt pulled his friend in to a hug.
Looking back at his best friend through watery eyes, Logan wasn't sure what he expected or even wanted from Kurt, but suddenly being pulled in close against his friend certainly surprised him.
Reflexively he pulled back, but Kurt held on meeting his eyes.
" Its ok, mein Freund." Kurt told him, gently pushing Logan's head down onto his shoulder.
Logan relaxed against him, not bothering to wipe away the tears that slowly ran down his face.
" It's ok you are safe here." Kurt rubbed his back sensing that his friend was holding back, " and your not alone." He added, knowing that Logan needed to hear it.
As the body in his arms began to shake, Kurt began to rock him in his arms and whispered reassurances. Logan cried in his friend's arms for a long time before finally quietening.
Kurt released him as Logan pulled back. As Logan wiped his face, Kurt could see a measure of peace in his body language and most importantly his friends eyes had lost some of their haunted look.
"Thanks Elf." Logan told him quietly.
"Glad to help. I have one question though?"
Logan nodded.
Kurt hesitated looking a little embarrassed. " Do you really think of me as your best friend?"
" Sure, if you're ok with that."
Kurt nodded, " I have never had one before." He admitted with a sheepish smile.
Logan smiled back.
"I should go and speak to the others." Kurt saw the worry on his friend's face. " Do not worry I will only tell them that you are ok. They were worried about you too, you know."
Logan nodded, " You coming back after?"
" Of course!"
Logan watched Kurt leave the room with a much lighter heart.
Kurt stared after his friend as Logan left the church. He might not have understood the words that Mariko had spoken but the actions that accompanied them were easily read. The look on Logan's face, was enough to show that something was very wrong.
Kurt exchanged looks with the others and saw the same uncertainty on their faces that he himself felt about what they should do. Had it been anyone else he'd have gone straight after them and offered comfort, but this was Logan, a loner by nature, it was very unlikely that he would want anyone near him especially now. Logan preferred to be alone where he could lick his wounds in private, they probably wouldn't be able to find him before he was ready to face them.
" Maybe someone should go and see if he's ahlright?" Rogue suggested.
" I'm not sore that's such a good idea," Scott watched the church doors as if he could see right through them to where Logan was. "You know how private he is, to approach him now would be suicidal."
"That may be so but I for one am not willing to watch a friend who's obviously in pain, suffer alone!" Storm made to go after Logan.
" Wait!" Kurt put an arm out to stop her, " you should give him some time alone. We should go back to the hotel, he will come back eventually and we can try und talk to him then."
Storm sighed, " Very well, we will wait and see what happens."
They all gathered their things together before setting off to the hotel with heavy hearts.
Once he'd left the church, Logan did something that he'd rarely done in his life. He ran. He'd had enough control to walk from the church even as the tears formed in his eyes, but as soon as he was out of their sight he bolted not wanting to be caught in a moment of weakness. He'd kept on running until he finally reached the main park in the city. In the relatively safe seclusion of a wooded area, he sat himself with his back to a tree.
Taking several deep breaths, he attempted to empty his mind of all thoughts and tried to stop the flow of tears that threatened. Putting his years of experience into practice, Logan locked away the pain he felt at Mariko's rejection. Finally taking note of his surroundings, he noticed that it had grown dark and even though he wasn't sure how long he'd been sat there, he knew that the others were probably worried.
Apon reaching the hotel, the remaining X-men had gathered in Rogue's room to await Logan's return.
" Darn it Kurt! Will ya sit still." Rogue's temper finally snapped as the blue skinned X-man backflipped to land on the back of her chair.
He'd been doing similar acrobatic feats ever since they'd entered the room.
" Entchuligung Rogue." Kurt gave her an apologetic look, trying to contain the urge to continue his antics.
The noise of a door closing interrupted the rest of their conversation. The x-men looked at each other.
" It's Logan!" Kitty exclaimed bolting for the door, eager to see how her friend was.
"Wait!" Scott commanded stopping her and the others who'd gotten up to follow her. " I don't think he'll appreciate it if we all barge in there. I think only one of us should go in."
" Then who?" asked Rogue.
Scott looked around the room at the concerned faces; all of them wanted to check on their friend.
Storm spoke up, " I think Kurt should go, he is the obvious choice."
" Ich?!" Kurt looked at her in surprise.
" Yes, you are the one he confides in the most and you are the person he considers as his best friend."
" Best friend?" confusion began to mix with his surprise.
" Yeah sugah, he's called you that before."
Kurt wasn't sure what to make of the revelation. He and Logan had always gotten on well together, but to be Logan's best friend? That was an honor that he wasn't sure he was worthy of but if he could help his friend in any way then he would. " Ok, I will do what I can."
Kurt stood outside of the door of the room that he shared with Logan, he hesitated, unsure of his reception. Before he could make a decision the door opened and Logan stood there watching him.
" Ya can come in Elf, I won't bite." The tone was light but the smile didn't reach his eyes.
Kurt followed his friend into the room. He watched as his friend paced the room feeling rather awkward. How on earth could he get Logan to talk? Storm would've been a much better choice.
Logan suddenly sat on the bed making Kurt's decision for him.
"D'ya think I was expecting too much?" he suddenly looked at Kurt.
The pain and anguish in his friend's eyes almost made Kurt run.
"Was?"
" D'ya think I was expecting too much from her? I mean it can't have been easy for her or anyone for that matter. I can see why she wouldn't want to marry someone like me." he trailed off lowering his head.
Kurt rapidly closed the distance between them and started to reach out a hand before stopping himself unsure whether physical comfort would be welcome.
" What do you mean?" he asked instead, hoping to keep his friend talking.
" Look at me Elf!" Logan lifted his head long enough to look at his friend, before letting his gaze drop back to the floor. " I'm more animal than man, why would anyone want me?"
He spoke so quietly that Kurt had trouble catching what he said.
" Nein! I do not believe that und neither do you mein Freund." This time Kurt did reach out to lay a hand on Logan's shoulder.
" Kurt you've seen my track record with women, they're scared of me! And any of them who do love me back get hurt or even killed!! I don't want to spend the rest of my life on my own!" he was horrified to find that the tears were threatening to fall once again.
He turned away quickly hoping that Kurt hadn't noticed.
Kurt looked at his friend, surprised by the outburst and shocked to see tears filling Logan's eyes. For a moment Kurt didn't know what to do. For the first time he realised just how deeply Logan was affected by his inability to completely control his animalistic side.
He also realised that Logan needed him, he didn't want to be alone with his pain any more, or otherwise Logan would have chucked him out of the room long ago. Kurt knew that now it would be up to him to make the first move because this was as far as Logan would go in reaching out and asking for help. His pride would stop him from going any further and one wrong word from Kurt would send him running.
Removing his hand, Kurt sat on the bed next to his friend and waited a few moments to allow his friend time to compose himself. Eventually Logan turned back to look at Kurt, his eyes still red from the tears that he'd been trying to hold back.
For a moment Kurt was startled by the intensity of his gaze and the amount of pain and despair that he saw there he'd never even come close to seeing Logan look so vulnerable and uncertain and suddenly Kurt realised what it was that Logan needed from him. All his life Logan had relied solely on himself, toughing it out. Everyone saw him as something more (or was it less) than human. Kurt realised that his friend needed to be reassured that he was human and that someone did care about him.
Seeing Logan watching him he could almost sense the fear that he'd be rejected again. Desperate to allay his fears Kurt pulled his friend in to a hug.
Looking back at his best friend through watery eyes, Logan wasn't sure what he expected or even wanted from Kurt, but suddenly being pulled in close against his friend certainly surprised him.
Reflexively he pulled back, but Kurt held on meeting his eyes.
" Its ok, mein Freund." Kurt told him, gently pushing Logan's head down onto his shoulder.
Logan relaxed against him, not bothering to wipe away the tears that slowly ran down his face.
" It's ok you are safe here." Kurt rubbed his back sensing that his friend was holding back, " and your not alone." He added, knowing that Logan needed to hear it.
As the body in his arms began to shake, Kurt began to rock him in his arms and whispered reassurances. Logan cried in his friend's arms for a long time before finally quietening.
Kurt released him as Logan pulled back. As Logan wiped his face, Kurt could see a measure of peace in his body language and most importantly his friends eyes had lost some of their haunted look.
"Thanks Elf." Logan told him quietly.
"Glad to help. I have one question though?"
Logan nodded.
Kurt hesitated looking a little embarrassed. " Do you really think of me as your best friend?"
" Sure, if you're ok with that."
Kurt nodded, " I have never had one before." He admitted with a sheepish smile.
Logan smiled back.
"I should go and speak to the others." Kurt saw the worry on his friend's face. " Do not worry I will only tell them that you are ok. They were worried about you too, you know."
Logan nodded, " You coming back after?"
" Of course!"
Logan watched Kurt leave the room with a much lighter heart.