You Wish! Productions presents...

The Long Awaited...

Neon Genesis Evangelion: Cross

Chapter 15 -- Alpha to Omega/Are You Happy Now?

By: Blue Taboo

Proud member of Darkscribes.org and Evafics.org

Happiness depends on ourselves. -- Aristotle

It's not the end(s) but it's getting closer.

Welcome to a state of uncertainty beyond all reason...

You are now reading the first phase of the End of Cross.

A thought registered in Maya's worried mind as she and Major Katsuragi trekked down through dark and unfamiliar hallways in hopes of finding Ritsuko and Kaji. "Major," she whispered, though there was really no need to, "I just checked the time on my PDA. The experiment begins at 0400 hours and we only have a little more than half an hour. I need to be in cage 7 if Ritsuko can't be there."

Misato stopped and turned to face the tech. She didn't bother to whisper and interrogated firmly, "Can you do the experiment without her?"

"I know how to..." Maya replied, sounding unsure of herself.

"I repeat," Misato nearly shouted, "Can you do it without her?!"

"Dr. Akagi gave me her instructions. She told me to memorize them and then to erase and destroy the disk they were on. I can do it...but what if something goes wrong?"

Misato sighed and turned her shoulder to the younger woman. "God knows enough has gone wrong already. Get up to that cage, Lieutenant, and get ready. I want you to go ahead with the experiment whether or not Ritsuko is there, you understand?"

"But--"

"Don't start. Even if we're all completely screwed because of this, or even if we already are, you may be able to give two girls their lives back, and that should be enough to overcome any fear, got it? I'm not going to take no for an answer..." Misato turned her back on the girl and started to walk off again, leaving Maya to make the decision.

"Yes...ma'am."

The nervous tech's footsteps echoed away from Misato as she went onward. She remained certain of her belief that if she found Kaji, she would find Ritsuko and everything would be all right again. If not...well...Maya said she could do it, but Misato found it hard to trust people with so little self-confidence. As she'd seen with Shinji; they go wild sometimes and don't know what to do. Maybe if she went with Maya? No...she had to find Ritsuko. As much as the blonde got on her nerves, ignored her, and didn't know how to have fun, Misato owed it to her. She couldn't leave her friend to the mercy of Commander Ikari.

"I won't let him kill you just because you didn't follow his little plan..." she told herself, now catching the chill that brought on whispering.

"Kill who?

†††

They had been silent for the whole walk, just like the city. The normally busy and bustling capitol of Tokyo-3 was not yet awake at 3:30 in the morning, and the two, rather, three people who were walking through its lonely streets mirrored its eerie silence. An uncertain fate awaited them. There were so many possibilities, whether the experiment was a success or a failure, or something all together different. A barrier had been crossed, that was for certain. Two people had become one, unwillingly.

Before it happened, Asuka and Rei barely knew each other. Asuka only knew Rei as the creepy girl that did only what she was told to. Rei only knew Asuka as the loud disturbance to the relatively quiet life she had led until the Angels came. Both had one thing in common, though, despite their differences in every way. Both of them had secrets that they simply could not share...Secrets that they were now forced to reveal. The two girls who were on the verge of hatred only a week before now knew more about each other than most lovers ever will. They had to know.

"It's strange to see the city so quiet," Shinji mused, trying to break the silence.

"Yes, yes it is."

They both could feel it, a tugging on their minds, a spilling over. They both knew what was happening, but they were both denying it. Instrumentality was a word the Commander often mentioned, but its meaning was vague to Rei's memory. Asuka couldn't make sense of it, but she knew it had something to do with this feeling, a feeling she wasn't sure was at all physical. The word feeling was inadequate to describe it, yet she felt it. Both girls knew, but they simply couldn't put it into words.

Only a little longer...

May the wrongs be righted...

†††

Maya walked into the booth of Cage 7, satisfied that the Evangelion was in place. The crew had been told various things, none of which were true. To them, this all seemed routine, except for the strange hour at which it was conducted and the fact that "Unit 1.5" was the test subject. They had to remain ignorant, no one could know. It was a horrible thing that had been done, if Ritsuko was even telling her the truth. Did Commander Ikari even see that his grand scheme was harming human lives? Maya wasn't sure why she was still there. It didn't make sense to her, this sacrifice and pain...for the sake of what?

She wasn't sure anymore, but she was never sure in the first place.

Only an incident like this could make her realize that.

"Start up the systems and get a direct link to the MAGI," Maya told the weary bridge bunnies that were ready to go home after a long night's work. "Load program code name: Subvert."

Ritsuko had written it, out of hours of sleepless guilt. Subvert had been created and was stored in the maze of NERV's files, never to be seen until that day. The program had to work perfectly in order to undo what had been done. The frequency of the signal that had shattered the fields had been derived from the same set of equations that could derive its antidote. Ritsuko had done it over and over, painstakingly making sure that she got it right. She didn't want to aid in one more disaster, one more hurtful action. It was time to subvert this organization of pain.

"Sempai..." Maya whispered so that barely any sound escaped her lips, "God help you. God help us all..."

†††

"Kaji?" Misato asked, her heart racing and her breath short with fear for her life, hoping that she was correct.

"Who else?" the man replied, stepping out of the shadows of the subterranean corridor.

"Oh thank God..." she sighed in relief, dropping her guard.

"You certainly seem happy to see me," he said grinning and advancing toward her.

"There's no time for that now! Listen, Ritsuko's down here somewhere and we need to find her. As we speak, Maya's probably prepping for the experiment. Maya said she could do it herself, but personally, I think I'd feel a lot better if Ritsu were there..."

Kaji fixed his eyes to hers. "Then I won't waste time. Commander Ikari is down here as well. I have no idea what he's up to, and you know how much I hate not knowing what's going on."

"Then let's find out," Misato cried, then cringed as she heard her own echo.

"Do you have your pistol?" Kaji asked suddenly.

"Yeah..." Misato affirmed cautiously. "Why do you ask?"

"My guess is that you will need it soon enough..."

Misato looked at her feet. She hated that gun...she hated to touch it, but it was for a cause, a good one. She only used that thing when she needed it, but now, it began to dwell on her that everyone around her might just need her gun. She pulled it out its holster. The cold metal was warm from the rapid beating of her fearful heart. She clicked the safety off.

"Then let's do this," she finally said, looking him in the eyes again.

"Just so you know, this is bigger than anyone knows."

"I thought as much. Let's save the world again, this time for real."

"With pleasure," Kaji said through a sadistic grin and pulled out his own handgun. He pointed toward the door at the end of the hall. He didn't have to tell her to follow him, or what was behind that door...They both knew.

†††

"I guess I should tell them we're here..." Shinji surmised.

The Children had been standing in awkward silence outside the locker room door. Asuka didn't want Shinji to leave, but she knew he had to. Rei was worried, but only Asuka could detect that. She had let Rei have control for most of the way over, since Rei was a whole lot more composed than she. Asuka was worried.

Why did all of this happen now? Why did it all have to be now?

Everything happens for a reason...

I don't need your cryptic shit right now, Rei. Let me say goodbye.

Let us hope you shouldn't have to...

"Shinji," Asuka's voice wasn't as prevalent as the first time it has spoken through the pale lips of the combined form of the two girls, but the boy she was talking to found solace in the fact that he still could tell the difference between his love and his friend. "Shinji, I just want to tell you something before you go."

She took his hand, and both of them knew what was coming, before she even said a word. Tears welled up in Shinji's eyes, and Asuka was fighting them so hard that she could barely speak.

"I just want you to know, that I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry I was never true to you about my feelings and I'm sorry that this all happened now. I'm...so sorry..." Her tears refused to be held back. Asuka had told herself she would never cry again when she was a little girl, but she had cried so much over that week that she had almost forgotten the promise she had made to herself. It was all just too much. She didn't know what would happen, or if things could ever be the same again. She didn't know if she would die that day, or suffer a fate too horrible for words.

Shinji squeezed her hands. "You shouldn't be sorry. I don't know why this all happened or what's going to happen next, but I know that if it didn't, we'd still be in the same rut. I couldn't love you then..."

Asuka looked up at him, and tried to smile, but she couldn't make herself. She didn't know, and it killed her not to know if she would be allowed to have a future, now that she knew everything else she should have known before.

"G-goodbye. Just, just remember me, okay?" she pleaded one last time.

I can't do this...help me mamma!

But you must.

The shared body snapped back to a rigid state of emotionlessness as Rei regained control. "She was too upset," she explained. "I hope that we meet again, Shinji Ikari."

He nodded, a hot tear streaming down his heated cheek. "I hope for that too. Goodbye Rei...Asuka..."

Then he ran. He couldn't take it any more.

It was just too much...

Oh no! It's over? Pfft...yea right. Look for Cross: Adieu to follow this shortly. I will finish this fic, even if it kills me. I owe it to you guys, if nothing else. Don't ask me about Price of Life...I barely have enough motivation for this one. Let me concentrate on that when I'm done with Cross. I'm trying my hardest because my readers are all awesome...Yes, even you. I'm still writing!

Special thanks to Random for pre-reading for me, yet again.

- Blue Taboo 2003 -