DISCLAIMER: **yells through megaphone** Recent studies have shown that in
fact, Freak Apple does not own any aspect of the Animorph series. Thank
you and will everyone please donate to the "Give-Me-Money-So-I-Could-Buy-
Them-Fund.
NOTE: Okay, I've just realized my intended storyline for THE ISLAND has a whole bunch of what are known as "plotholes". Yes, "plotholes". Therefore I have to rework the whole stupid thing. In the meantime and a gift, I offer you one of my brainfarts. It is known as the "THE TASK".
Cassie -
As a member of a six-kid army bent on saving the world from body- snatching aliens, I have experienced many things that made me want to wet my pants. But nothing could have prepared me for the task at hand.
For ten hours, I had to babysit Rachel's little sisters Jordan and Sara.
Now, I had done this before. Twice, to be exact. The first time was two years ago. Jordan was nine and Sara was three. It was simple. I just sat there while Jordan ate ice cream and watched TV. Sara napped the whole two hours I was there. It was an easy 12 bucks.
The second was last year and that was a whole different story. After a long series of events involving Jordan, a bent golf club, Sara's teddy, and a mailman undergoing his midlife crisis, I managed to break my ankle. Quite possibly the first casualty while babysitting a pair of little kids. They may seem like little kids to the untrained eye, but I knew the truth.
Jordan is a very nice girl. She is closer to our age. But from the briefing Rachel gave me the day before, I gathered she was going through some phases.
"What phases exactly?" I asked suspiciously.
"The usual. No big deal." Rachel said, obviously thinking it would be fun to see me deal with a kid roaring through puberty.
"God. If she's anything like you. . ."
Rachel just laughed.
Sara was only five. Not old enough to cause too big of a problem, right? Wrong.
I sat on the couch minutes before Rachel and her mother were going to leave. They were attending a wedding out of town, leaving me with the kids. I was kind of a last resort, since I've always been reluctant to babysit after my last experience. Rachel understood my reluctance. She used to take gymnastics and she knew what it was like to not be able to walk for a month. But their usual baby-sitter, Mrs. Loftus, was scheduled for a face-lift that day. I don't think I ever hated cosmetic surgery more than I did then.
Anyway, Rachel's mom was rattling off last minute instructions that made me feel as if I were walking down Death Row.
"Lunch is in the fridge. Remember, Jordan has only one hour a day on the phone. Sara can't be near anything flammable, breakable, glass or anything that's holding something else up. The fire extinguisher is in the closet, the emergency numbers are by the phone. There is a CPR chart on the fridge if you need it. Don't let them leave the backyard, watch them close. Don't let Jordan touch my office. You know the deal. And when 4 'o' clock rolls around, God bless your kind soul."
No, I did not make that last part up. She actually said that. Then she gathered up her daughters in a big hug, gave them each a kiss, and told them to be good and not to blow up anything. Well she didn't say THAT, but I had a feeling she wanted to. Rachel gripped my shoulder and sent me a sympathetic look.
"Good luck Cassie. And if you really need help, call Jake. Or maybe, you know, call him anyway." She winked at me.
Being best friends with Rachel was great. But maybe not today.
I glanced out the window as their car backed out of the driveway. Rachel waved before they turned off the street. This was it. I turned around to see what Jordan and Sara were doing.
"GAH!" I yelped. They were right behind me, staring up at me.
"Does Rachel have a boyfriend?" Jordan asked. Sara giggled.
"Oh, um. . ." Then I remembered Rachel's little crack about me calling Jake. "Yes she does."
Jordan's eyes got all big and wide. "REALLY!? Wow. Do they kiss a lot?"
I only knew of a couple moments when they did, but I was still feeling a bit vindictive. "Oh yeah, all the time. Sometimes you have to tear them off each other. It's crazy. His name's Tobias."
This obviously made Jordan pleased. I could practically see the word "blackmail" forming in her mind. She then hopped away to the phone, no doubt to spread the news of her sisters raging hormones. I smiled in spite of myself.
Then I turned to Sara. The space were she stood was empty.
"Sara?"
CRASSSHH!!
I hoped to God that was just the TV. Or the radio. Anything. I glanced at the TV in front of me. Off. And there was no radio in sight.
"Sara!" I dashed to where I thought I heard the noise. I saw Rachel's mom's office door wide open. She was a lawyer so she often brought her cases home to work on. Her voice echoed in my head.
". . . Don't let Jordan touch my office. . ."
Wait, it was Sara. So technically I wasn't breaking a rule, right?
I burst in the door, praying that Sara had only broke a paperweight or something. I stared at the chaos in front of me. The big fax machine was on its side on the floor, spewing paper. Sara sat in the middle of the floor, finger in her mouth. A tear rolled down her cheek. As soon as she saw me she started to bawl like there's no tomorrow.
"MY FINNNNGAAAAA!" she screeched.
"Let me see." I bent over to survey the damage. I took her finger in my hand. It looked like a normal, spit-covered finger to me. Suddenly she felt the need to whisk it away and stick it in my ear.
"Wet Willy!" she declared gleefully. If it wasn't so disgusting, it would've been cute.
"That wasn't nice, Sara!" I scolded softly. "Why did you knock down your mommy's fax machine?"
Her little blue eyes got big and watery again.
"I wanted paper. To drawr a pitcher. . ." she said, on the verge of wailing again. "Am I in trouble?" She opened her mouth, about to scream like a banshee.
"No! No, it's okay. We'll just pick it up again, see?" I bent to lift the fax machine. Half of it fell off. Sara stared at me, tearing again.
"It's okay. It's okay. Just sit there." I pointed at her mother's swivel chair and focused on fixing the fax. Being a technological moron, the best I could do was fit the outer pieces together. I didn't know what to do with the little metal things that fell out. I shuffled around, my back aching from the hard work of piecing together the fax. Sara was spinning wildly in the chair, sending important-looking legal documents flying in the air.
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"No!" I dove for her and stopped the spinning. "Sara, why don't you watch TV?"
"Otay." She got up and skipped along on her merry way. I picked up the papers and piled them into a presentable fashion. Hopefully after being thrown randomly in the air, they had magically went back into whatever order they were in. I checked my watch. 8:20. Nine hours and forty minutes to go.
"Please God, if I survive this, I promise I will let Rachel buy me new pants." I begged. Then I made my way to the living room, were I hoped Sara was just watching TV. She was, sucking on the corner of a pillow and watching Blue's Clues.
"Hey, where's Jordan?" I asked her. She looked at me and shrugged. I looked at the phone. She wasn't there.
"Okay, okay you stay here." I ordered Sara. She nodded, clearly not paying attention to me, but the antics of the cutout paper shovel and pail. It was too early for em to be screwing this up. I had to find her.
I walked into the kitchen. No one there. I went to the bedroom Jordan and Sara shared. Nothing. I went into Rachel's room. Nothing but pictures of friends, as well as a half-hidden poster of Jeremy Jason McCole. I made a mental note to bring that up one day at an Animorph meeting. Then I checked both bathrooms. No Jordan. I clomped down the stairs, past Sara still ogling at Blue, and into the backyard. The gate was open.
"Oh no." I moaned. I glanced back at the house, were I presumed Sara was still watching TV. I had to find Jordan, she wasn't supposed to leave. But I couldn't leave Sara. I had to take her with me.
"Sara?" I called as I walked back in the house. "We have to take a walk for a little bit."
"Mommy said-"
"It's okay. It's a secret, okay?" I winked at her. She stared blankly at me. I sighed. "We'll get ice cream."
"Yay!"
I took her hand and we left through the back yard. I made sure to lock the door. After the fax incident I'm pretty sure burglary would have further cut my payment.
"Jordan! Jordan?" I called. It was a bright early morning. It wasn't even 9 yet, and it was a Saturday, so I was pretty sure I was waking up a few of Rachel's cranky neighbors.
"Jorrrr-daaaaan!" Sara joined in. We walked down the left side of the street. No Jordan. I started to get worried. I considered calling Jake.
"No way." I told myself. "That'll leave a good impression. Me losing his baby cousin and begging for help. That'll be real smooth." Sara and I walked back towards the house to go look on the other side of the street. Jordan sat on the front steps, looking annoyed.
"Jordan!" I cried. I was so happy I wouldn't be sued for losing Jordan. Rachel's mom is a lawyer; she can make things happen.
"What? Where were you guys?" she asked, like we were the ones who up and left without warning.
"WE went lookin fo' poopy JORDAN!" Sara announced. Couldn't have said it better myself.
"I just went to turn on Mrs. Loftus's sprinklers. I forgot that she asked me to while she was gone getting her-" she clutched her cheeks and pulled back, stretching her face. "- facelift." Sara giggled until her face turned red and I had to pat her back because of hiccups.
"Well okay, you should've told me." I said very nicely, so she wouldn't consider me "Rachel's mean mean friend."
All of a sudden Jordan glared at me and crossed her arms.
"I JUST went across the STREET. JEEZ, SUE me for doing a friend a FAVOR!" she emphasized random words to make it clear that she was annoyed at me.
"I didn't - "
"BESIDES I'm too OLD for a BABYSITTER, I mean COME ON!" she continued.
"Jordan -"
"You don't have to YELL at me, jeez, YOU'RE as bad as RACHEL!" Then Jordan stopped and sat on the first step defiantly. I know Rachel's my best friend, and a wonderful person, but they way Jordan said those words made it sting a little.
I sighed. So THAT was what Rachel meant when she said Jordan was going through a phase. I instantly felt a newfound respect for Rachel's mom. "I'm sorry Jordan. Come on, let's go inside."
"Ice cweem?" Sara asked hopefully.
"Maybe next time." I answered, bringing my hand to the doorknob.
Note to self: Don't make Sara sad.
"WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Jordan glared at me more. I realized that everyone on the street was probably looking out their windows at the girl-who-can-never-babysit-ever- again.
"Cassie? Hi." I swerved around to see where the voice came from. Behind me stood Jake, hands in his pockets looking like how I felt. "I was just walking around and Rachel said you were babysitting today so - "
"Jake?"
"Cuz Jake!" Sara quit her wailing and hugged Jake's leg.
"Hi Sara. Why are you crying?"
I had this awful vision of Sara saying "Cassie is a mean mean horrible poopy person! I hate her she's stupid I want my mommy! You shouldn't like her anymore."
"I want ice cream!" she cried into Jake's jeans. He looked at me with a grin on his face that made my insides turn into jelly. I breathed a sigh of relief and explained to Jake what we had been doing.
"Well Jordan you probably should've told Cassie were you went." Jake said.
Jordan continued to glare.
"We should go inside before people start throwing things at us from the windows." I said.
"Yeah."
I tried the doorknob. Locked.
"Try the back door." Jake suggested. I remembered locking it before we left. I didn't have the key. Jordan didn't have the key. And if Sara had the key she would be choking on it right now. Jake looked at me curiously and I wanted to dissolve into the gravel.
"I think we're locked out." I muttered, wishing God would make his presence known and unlock the door.
"Are we gonna die?" Sara said tearfully into Jake's leg.
"No no. I'll just go around the back and see if I could pick the lock or something." Jake pried Sara off his leg. She promptly attached herself to mine.
"I'll go to!" Jordan jumped up, excited to see how people picked locks. I wondered how Rachel could survive with these two 24/7.
"Uh, no I need privacy. Cassie watch them?" he looked at me and winked. Then I realized what he was going to do. He was going to morph something small to get in. He walked around the house and disappeared. Jordan returned to the step, pouting.
"I wanna play in my sand turtle!" Sara declared suddenly and she rushed to the back of the house.
"SARA NO!" I dove after her, achieving nothing but a grass stain on my pants. She scampered off and I limped after her. If this wasn't the worst day in my entire life. . .
"POKEMON!" Sara screeched. I skid to a halt. That would have been the absolute last thing I would have thought to hear when Sara saw Jake in midmorph. I grabbed Sara by the shoulders and looked at her "pokemon".
Jake, who was wearing a bright yellow tight shirt and matching bike shorts, had a rodent-like head and a tail. He was clutching the drainpipe and his outer clothes were in the bushes. Obviously his plan was to morph a squirrel and climb the drainpipe and in through a window. Their fence was really high and everyone was probably asleep, so Jake wasn't being careless or anything. But it didn't occur to him that a 5-year-old would come tearing into the back yard and accuse him of looking like Pikachu.
"Pika pika. . ." Sara said softly, so as not to scare it away. Jake stared at me desperately with his little black eyes.
"Pika." I heard him mutter in a voice like a chipmunk. I've seen about 2 episodes of Pokemon, and he sounded exactly like a pikachu.
"Sara, let's leave pikachu alone." I urged her back to the front yard. Sara screamed out "I choose you!" over her shoulder.
Thankfully Jordan still sat on the stairs being moody. I sat Sara next to her and watched them like a drill sergeant. No way was this day going to get worse. I was just thankful that Sara was so young. And I was thankful to the Japanese guy who invented Pokemon.
A couple minutes later Jake opened the front door. Thankfully remembering to wear his outer clothes. It would have been a disaster if Sara realized that his cousin was pikachu.
Jordan stomped inside, up the stairs, and into her room. I heard the door slam. Jake looked at me and I a muttered the word "phase". He nodded and let Sara and I in.
The next few hours were pretty uneventful. Jordan stayed in her room on the computer playing The Sims while Sara sat on Jake's lap watching more TV. I gratefully volunteered to go buy some ice cream. After a few issues with dripping cookie dough and the oriental rug, Sara fell asleep, her fingers and stickier than the bottom of a pay phone.
Jake sat next to me on the sofa. "Um, do you want me to stay or should I - "
"Don't leave. Ever. Please."
"I think you did a good job. I know first hand they're a handful." Jake assured me. It was sweet. They were a handful. But I didn't do a good job.
"I knew it was going to be bad. Rachel's mom practically asked me if I had insurance." I said. He laughed. "Hey, why didn't they ask you to babysit for them? You're their cousin."
Jake looked sheepish. "Um, I kind of said I had a date today. I weaseled my way out of it."
I raised an eyebrow. "Date, huh?"
"Fake date. I was at home playing video games." He said quickly. I smiled at him.
"Cheater."
"Can you blame me?" He rolled up a sleeve and showed me a small scar. "Rachel had a gymnastics thing and her mom went last year. I took care for them for 2 hours and my arm was practically ripped open by flying glass."
"Oh yeah? I got my ankle broken with a golf club. And Rachel's mom had to switch mailmen." I said. We laughed at the strange but true things we were saying. Jake took my hand and suddenly I felt really hot.
"Hey is there anymore - " Jordan entered the room and saw us holding hands. Jake immediately dropped it and blushed red. I started to sweat unattractively. " - ice cream?"
"Yeah over there." I quickly got her a cup of ice cream. She looked at us and again I could practically see the word "blackmail" running through her mind.
We watched some TV with Jordan, who seemed to have cooled off since this morning. A commercial for the new X-men movie came on.
"Wow, Shawn Ashmore is HOT." Jordan drooled at the TV. (Note: Hehe.)
"He's a wuss." Jake stated. He looked at me. "Ugly, right?"
Shawn Ashmore was kind of hot. He kind of even reminded me of Jake, in a way. But I wasn't about to tell him that.
"Oh yeah. Does nothing for me." I lied. He half-grinned at me and we continued watching TV. Before I knew it, Sara had woken up. I looked at the time. 3:59.
"So, you guys want to go out to the yard for a while? It's nice." I asked.
"No! It's time for 7th heaven." Jordan went for the remote.
"NO SPONGEBOB!" Sara yelled.
"We watched that yesterday!"
"NO!"
I remembered Rachel's mom wishing me luck at four 'o' clock. I had wondered why. Now I knew.
Sara grabbed the remote but Jordan held fast. She started to wiggle away from Sara, but Sara was determined to watch her favorite yellow sponge with legs. I tried to intervene.
"EIIIIIEEEIII!!" Sara squealed and bit me in the arm.
"Owww!"
"You guys, stop!" Jake got up and tried to wrestle them apart. Jake was easily more than twice either of their size, but he wound up on the heap in the floor. A small bruise appeared on his forehead.
"Sara stop!" Jordan yelled. She gave a big tug and her hand went flying back with the momentum, knocking down a pretty looking lamp. I dove and caught it before it hit the ground. Jake got up.
"Impressive."
"I'm full of surprises." I was getting mad now. I got up.
"STOP!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. Everything stopped. I think even time stopped for a couple seconds. Jordan and Sara both dropped the remote. Jake looked up at me in awe
"We are going outside. We are going to play. We are not going to fight." I said through clenched teeth. Jordan and Sara, who had never seen me mad before, just nodded. They quickly walked out the back door. Jake grinned at me.
"I didn't know your voice could hit that decibel." Jake said.
"Like I said, I'm full of surprises." He cautiously put his arm around my shoulders and we walked outside. Jordan was helping Sara build a castle I her sand turtle. Jordan looked up and caught Jake with his arm around me. He quickly dropped it and suddenly found the brick wall highly interesting. I found the drainpipe fascinating as well. Jordan laughed. She was almost 12, she wasn't dumb.
After a while Jake joined them in the sand. He made Sara and Jordan laugh a lot.
"You know you should be a dad." I told him.
"And you'll be the mommy!" Sara cried.
"Uh, what?" Jake and I asked nervously. Jordan was practically bursting with laughter. Sara continued.
"I'll be the baby and Jordan can be the stinky old grandma!"
That stopped the laughing and they proceeded to chase each other around the lawn.
"I thought she meant - " Jake started.
"Yeah me too." I said. Jake play-threw some sand on my shirt.
"Hey!" We started a mini sand-fight. Jordan and Sara watched us from their swings, but I didn't care. For the first time in a long time I was having fun.
When we were done Jordan ushered Sara inside to go to the bathroom.
"You know, how do they do that? Fight savagely for one minute and then all nice the next." Jake asked. Then he realized who he was talking to and started to stutter. "I mean - "
"Well, that's life sometimes." I said, letting him know he didn't do anything wrong. "No one's family is the Brady Bunch."
"Yeah. " We went inside, hot and tired from playing outside.
"Hey, you got stuff on your back." Jake said. I stopped and helped me brush sand away from my shirt. Suddenly I heard high heeled shoes come clicking into the room.
"Hey guys." Rachel stood there smirking at us.
I realized that Jake had his hands all over my shirt brushing away sand. Our clothes were tousled and our hair was a mess.
"Give me a break." I moaned to no one. Rachel snickered and her mom entered behind her.
"How was it. No broken bones? Hi Jake." She greeted us. Then her eye caught the bite mark Sara left on my arm and the bruise on Jake's head. "Oh no. What did they do now?"
"Nothing Aunt Naomi. Jordan and Sara are in the bathroom. Um I gotta go." Jake hurried out of the house.
Naomi shrugged. "I was goin to pay him too. I thought he was on a date today."
"I think he was. I'm pretty sure he enjoyed it." Rachel piped up gleefully in a way that reminded me of Sara. I elbowed her in the ribs.
"Okay well, here." Rachel's mom handed me a hundred dollar bill.
"What? Mrs. - "
"Cassie take it. I know it was a really rough day. You don't know how thankful we are." She smiled at me. Jordan and Sara tumbled in and gave their mom a hug. Sara hugged Rachel's leg and Jordan stuck her tongue out at her. Rachel returned it. This was definitely one interesting family.
"Well I guess I should go. Call me anytime." I said. I hoped they interpreted "anytime" as "when pigs fly." I'm sure Rachel interpreted it that way. Rachel walked me out the door.
"So, no severe injuries this time. I commend you."
"Nothing happened."
"Oh really." Rachel's eyebrow rose suggestively. "With Jake here nothing happened?"
"Oh ,well. . .Sara saw him in midmorph."
Rachel's eyes bugged out. "WHAT!?"
"Relax - "
From inside we heard Sara yell "I SAW PIKACHU MOMMY!"
" - there ya go. She thought he was Pikachu."
Rachel looked torn between amusement and relief. "Well, I'll see you later Cassie. I'm going to help you spend that hundred dollars."
"What? I can't spend it on the animal charity of my choice?
"Sure. If the Gap is an animal charity." She chuckled and went back into her house.
I slowly made my way down the front steps. Looking back, the day wasn't that bad. Unless Rachel's mom found out about the fax. But I had managed to keep Jordan and Sara alive, without serious damage to myself. I found out Rachel still had a thing for Jeremy Jason McCole, which could be very useful. I spent some time with Jake. . .no, not a bad day at all. Plus I'd just made a hundred bucks. Everything I'd done that day was infinitely harder than one on one combat with a Hork-Bajir. And I got paid. I guess babysitting wasn't so hard after all. I'd do it again if they asked. If Jake was there.
As I started to step off the last step, I heard Jordan yell from inside.
"CASSIE SAID RACHEL HAS A BOYFRIEND AND THEY KISS ALL THE TIME."
I bolted from their lawn and ran down the street and into a bush where I morphed osprey to get as far away from Rachel's wrath as possible. On second thought, maybe I'd wait a while before taking on that challenge again.
NOTE: Okay, I've just realized my intended storyline for THE ISLAND has a whole bunch of what are known as "plotholes". Yes, "plotholes". Therefore I have to rework the whole stupid thing. In the meantime and a gift, I offer you one of my brainfarts. It is known as the "THE TASK".
Cassie -
As a member of a six-kid army bent on saving the world from body- snatching aliens, I have experienced many things that made me want to wet my pants. But nothing could have prepared me for the task at hand.
For ten hours, I had to babysit Rachel's little sisters Jordan and Sara.
Now, I had done this before. Twice, to be exact. The first time was two years ago. Jordan was nine and Sara was three. It was simple. I just sat there while Jordan ate ice cream and watched TV. Sara napped the whole two hours I was there. It was an easy 12 bucks.
The second was last year and that was a whole different story. After a long series of events involving Jordan, a bent golf club, Sara's teddy, and a mailman undergoing his midlife crisis, I managed to break my ankle. Quite possibly the first casualty while babysitting a pair of little kids. They may seem like little kids to the untrained eye, but I knew the truth.
Jordan is a very nice girl. She is closer to our age. But from the briefing Rachel gave me the day before, I gathered she was going through some phases.
"What phases exactly?" I asked suspiciously.
"The usual. No big deal." Rachel said, obviously thinking it would be fun to see me deal with a kid roaring through puberty.
"God. If she's anything like you. . ."
Rachel just laughed.
Sara was only five. Not old enough to cause too big of a problem, right? Wrong.
I sat on the couch minutes before Rachel and her mother were going to leave. They were attending a wedding out of town, leaving me with the kids. I was kind of a last resort, since I've always been reluctant to babysit after my last experience. Rachel understood my reluctance. She used to take gymnastics and she knew what it was like to not be able to walk for a month. But their usual baby-sitter, Mrs. Loftus, was scheduled for a face-lift that day. I don't think I ever hated cosmetic surgery more than I did then.
Anyway, Rachel's mom was rattling off last minute instructions that made me feel as if I were walking down Death Row.
"Lunch is in the fridge. Remember, Jordan has only one hour a day on the phone. Sara can't be near anything flammable, breakable, glass or anything that's holding something else up. The fire extinguisher is in the closet, the emergency numbers are by the phone. There is a CPR chart on the fridge if you need it. Don't let them leave the backyard, watch them close. Don't let Jordan touch my office. You know the deal. And when 4 'o' clock rolls around, God bless your kind soul."
No, I did not make that last part up. She actually said that. Then she gathered up her daughters in a big hug, gave them each a kiss, and told them to be good and not to blow up anything. Well she didn't say THAT, but I had a feeling she wanted to. Rachel gripped my shoulder and sent me a sympathetic look.
"Good luck Cassie. And if you really need help, call Jake. Or maybe, you know, call him anyway." She winked at me.
Being best friends with Rachel was great. But maybe not today.
I glanced out the window as their car backed out of the driveway. Rachel waved before they turned off the street. This was it. I turned around to see what Jordan and Sara were doing.
"GAH!" I yelped. They were right behind me, staring up at me.
"Does Rachel have a boyfriend?" Jordan asked. Sara giggled.
"Oh, um. . ." Then I remembered Rachel's little crack about me calling Jake. "Yes she does."
Jordan's eyes got all big and wide. "REALLY!? Wow. Do they kiss a lot?"
I only knew of a couple moments when they did, but I was still feeling a bit vindictive. "Oh yeah, all the time. Sometimes you have to tear them off each other. It's crazy. His name's Tobias."
This obviously made Jordan pleased. I could practically see the word "blackmail" forming in her mind. She then hopped away to the phone, no doubt to spread the news of her sisters raging hormones. I smiled in spite of myself.
Then I turned to Sara. The space were she stood was empty.
"Sara?"
CRASSSHH!!
I hoped to God that was just the TV. Or the radio. Anything. I glanced at the TV in front of me. Off. And there was no radio in sight.
"Sara!" I dashed to where I thought I heard the noise. I saw Rachel's mom's office door wide open. She was a lawyer so she often brought her cases home to work on. Her voice echoed in my head.
". . . Don't let Jordan touch my office. . ."
Wait, it was Sara. So technically I wasn't breaking a rule, right?
I burst in the door, praying that Sara had only broke a paperweight or something. I stared at the chaos in front of me. The big fax machine was on its side on the floor, spewing paper. Sara sat in the middle of the floor, finger in her mouth. A tear rolled down her cheek. As soon as she saw me she started to bawl like there's no tomorrow.
"MY FINNNNGAAAAA!" she screeched.
"Let me see." I bent over to survey the damage. I took her finger in my hand. It looked like a normal, spit-covered finger to me. Suddenly she felt the need to whisk it away and stick it in my ear.
"Wet Willy!" she declared gleefully. If it wasn't so disgusting, it would've been cute.
"That wasn't nice, Sara!" I scolded softly. "Why did you knock down your mommy's fax machine?"
Her little blue eyes got big and watery again.
"I wanted paper. To drawr a pitcher. . ." she said, on the verge of wailing again. "Am I in trouble?" She opened her mouth, about to scream like a banshee.
"No! No, it's okay. We'll just pick it up again, see?" I bent to lift the fax machine. Half of it fell off. Sara stared at me, tearing again.
"It's okay. It's okay. Just sit there." I pointed at her mother's swivel chair and focused on fixing the fax. Being a technological moron, the best I could do was fit the outer pieces together. I didn't know what to do with the little metal things that fell out. I shuffled around, my back aching from the hard work of piecing together the fax. Sara was spinning wildly in the chair, sending important-looking legal documents flying in the air.
"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"No!" I dove for her and stopped the spinning. "Sara, why don't you watch TV?"
"Otay." She got up and skipped along on her merry way. I picked up the papers and piled them into a presentable fashion. Hopefully after being thrown randomly in the air, they had magically went back into whatever order they were in. I checked my watch. 8:20. Nine hours and forty minutes to go.
"Please God, if I survive this, I promise I will let Rachel buy me new pants." I begged. Then I made my way to the living room, were I hoped Sara was just watching TV. She was, sucking on the corner of a pillow and watching Blue's Clues.
"Hey, where's Jordan?" I asked her. She looked at me and shrugged. I looked at the phone. She wasn't there.
"Okay, okay you stay here." I ordered Sara. She nodded, clearly not paying attention to me, but the antics of the cutout paper shovel and pail. It was too early for em to be screwing this up. I had to find her.
I walked into the kitchen. No one there. I went to the bedroom Jordan and Sara shared. Nothing. I went into Rachel's room. Nothing but pictures of friends, as well as a half-hidden poster of Jeremy Jason McCole. I made a mental note to bring that up one day at an Animorph meeting. Then I checked both bathrooms. No Jordan. I clomped down the stairs, past Sara still ogling at Blue, and into the backyard. The gate was open.
"Oh no." I moaned. I glanced back at the house, were I presumed Sara was still watching TV. I had to find Jordan, she wasn't supposed to leave. But I couldn't leave Sara. I had to take her with me.
"Sara?" I called as I walked back in the house. "We have to take a walk for a little bit."
"Mommy said-"
"It's okay. It's a secret, okay?" I winked at her. She stared blankly at me. I sighed. "We'll get ice cream."
"Yay!"
I took her hand and we left through the back yard. I made sure to lock the door. After the fax incident I'm pretty sure burglary would have further cut my payment.
"Jordan! Jordan?" I called. It was a bright early morning. It wasn't even 9 yet, and it was a Saturday, so I was pretty sure I was waking up a few of Rachel's cranky neighbors.
"Jorrrr-daaaaan!" Sara joined in. We walked down the left side of the street. No Jordan. I started to get worried. I considered calling Jake.
"No way." I told myself. "That'll leave a good impression. Me losing his baby cousin and begging for help. That'll be real smooth." Sara and I walked back towards the house to go look on the other side of the street. Jordan sat on the front steps, looking annoyed.
"Jordan!" I cried. I was so happy I wouldn't be sued for losing Jordan. Rachel's mom is a lawyer; she can make things happen.
"What? Where were you guys?" she asked, like we were the ones who up and left without warning.
"WE went lookin fo' poopy JORDAN!" Sara announced. Couldn't have said it better myself.
"I just went to turn on Mrs. Loftus's sprinklers. I forgot that she asked me to while she was gone getting her-" she clutched her cheeks and pulled back, stretching her face. "- facelift." Sara giggled until her face turned red and I had to pat her back because of hiccups.
"Well okay, you should've told me." I said very nicely, so she wouldn't consider me "Rachel's mean mean friend."
All of a sudden Jordan glared at me and crossed her arms.
"I JUST went across the STREET. JEEZ, SUE me for doing a friend a FAVOR!" she emphasized random words to make it clear that she was annoyed at me.
"I didn't - "
"BESIDES I'm too OLD for a BABYSITTER, I mean COME ON!" she continued.
"Jordan -"
"You don't have to YELL at me, jeez, YOU'RE as bad as RACHEL!" Then Jordan stopped and sat on the first step defiantly. I know Rachel's my best friend, and a wonderful person, but they way Jordan said those words made it sting a little.
I sighed. So THAT was what Rachel meant when she said Jordan was going through a phase. I instantly felt a newfound respect for Rachel's mom. "I'm sorry Jordan. Come on, let's go inside."
"Ice cweem?" Sara asked hopefully.
"Maybe next time." I answered, bringing my hand to the doorknob.
Note to self: Don't make Sara sad.
"WAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
Jordan glared at me more. I realized that everyone on the street was probably looking out their windows at the girl-who-can-never-babysit-ever- again.
"Cassie? Hi." I swerved around to see where the voice came from. Behind me stood Jake, hands in his pockets looking like how I felt. "I was just walking around and Rachel said you were babysitting today so - "
"Jake?"
"Cuz Jake!" Sara quit her wailing and hugged Jake's leg.
"Hi Sara. Why are you crying?"
I had this awful vision of Sara saying "Cassie is a mean mean horrible poopy person! I hate her she's stupid I want my mommy! You shouldn't like her anymore."
"I want ice cream!" she cried into Jake's jeans. He looked at me with a grin on his face that made my insides turn into jelly. I breathed a sigh of relief and explained to Jake what we had been doing.
"Well Jordan you probably should've told Cassie were you went." Jake said.
Jordan continued to glare.
"We should go inside before people start throwing things at us from the windows." I said.
"Yeah."
I tried the doorknob. Locked.
"Try the back door." Jake suggested. I remembered locking it before we left. I didn't have the key. Jordan didn't have the key. And if Sara had the key she would be choking on it right now. Jake looked at me curiously and I wanted to dissolve into the gravel.
"I think we're locked out." I muttered, wishing God would make his presence known and unlock the door.
"Are we gonna die?" Sara said tearfully into Jake's leg.
"No no. I'll just go around the back and see if I could pick the lock or something." Jake pried Sara off his leg. She promptly attached herself to mine.
"I'll go to!" Jordan jumped up, excited to see how people picked locks. I wondered how Rachel could survive with these two 24/7.
"Uh, no I need privacy. Cassie watch them?" he looked at me and winked. Then I realized what he was going to do. He was going to morph something small to get in. He walked around the house and disappeared. Jordan returned to the step, pouting.
"I wanna play in my sand turtle!" Sara declared suddenly and she rushed to the back of the house.
"SARA NO!" I dove after her, achieving nothing but a grass stain on my pants. She scampered off and I limped after her. If this wasn't the worst day in my entire life. . .
"POKEMON!" Sara screeched. I skid to a halt. That would have been the absolute last thing I would have thought to hear when Sara saw Jake in midmorph. I grabbed Sara by the shoulders and looked at her "pokemon".
Jake, who was wearing a bright yellow tight shirt and matching bike shorts, had a rodent-like head and a tail. He was clutching the drainpipe and his outer clothes were in the bushes. Obviously his plan was to morph a squirrel and climb the drainpipe and in through a window. Their fence was really high and everyone was probably asleep, so Jake wasn't being careless or anything. But it didn't occur to him that a 5-year-old would come tearing into the back yard and accuse him of looking like Pikachu.
"Pika pika. . ." Sara said softly, so as not to scare it away. Jake stared at me desperately with his little black eyes.
"Pika." I heard him mutter in a voice like a chipmunk. I've seen about 2 episodes of Pokemon, and he sounded exactly like a pikachu.
"Sara, let's leave pikachu alone." I urged her back to the front yard. Sara screamed out "I choose you!" over her shoulder.
Thankfully Jordan still sat on the stairs being moody. I sat Sara next to her and watched them like a drill sergeant. No way was this day going to get worse. I was just thankful that Sara was so young. And I was thankful to the Japanese guy who invented Pokemon.
A couple minutes later Jake opened the front door. Thankfully remembering to wear his outer clothes. It would have been a disaster if Sara realized that his cousin was pikachu.
Jordan stomped inside, up the stairs, and into her room. I heard the door slam. Jake looked at me and I a muttered the word "phase". He nodded and let Sara and I in.
The next few hours were pretty uneventful. Jordan stayed in her room on the computer playing The Sims while Sara sat on Jake's lap watching more TV. I gratefully volunteered to go buy some ice cream. After a few issues with dripping cookie dough and the oriental rug, Sara fell asleep, her fingers and stickier than the bottom of a pay phone.
Jake sat next to me on the sofa. "Um, do you want me to stay or should I - "
"Don't leave. Ever. Please."
"I think you did a good job. I know first hand they're a handful." Jake assured me. It was sweet. They were a handful. But I didn't do a good job.
"I knew it was going to be bad. Rachel's mom practically asked me if I had insurance." I said. He laughed. "Hey, why didn't they ask you to babysit for them? You're their cousin."
Jake looked sheepish. "Um, I kind of said I had a date today. I weaseled my way out of it."
I raised an eyebrow. "Date, huh?"
"Fake date. I was at home playing video games." He said quickly. I smiled at him.
"Cheater."
"Can you blame me?" He rolled up a sleeve and showed me a small scar. "Rachel had a gymnastics thing and her mom went last year. I took care for them for 2 hours and my arm was practically ripped open by flying glass."
"Oh yeah? I got my ankle broken with a golf club. And Rachel's mom had to switch mailmen." I said. We laughed at the strange but true things we were saying. Jake took my hand and suddenly I felt really hot.
"Hey is there anymore - " Jordan entered the room and saw us holding hands. Jake immediately dropped it and blushed red. I started to sweat unattractively. " - ice cream?"
"Yeah over there." I quickly got her a cup of ice cream. She looked at us and again I could practically see the word "blackmail" running through her mind.
We watched some TV with Jordan, who seemed to have cooled off since this morning. A commercial for the new X-men movie came on.
"Wow, Shawn Ashmore is HOT." Jordan drooled at the TV. (Note: Hehe.)
"He's a wuss." Jake stated. He looked at me. "Ugly, right?"
Shawn Ashmore was kind of hot. He kind of even reminded me of Jake, in a way. But I wasn't about to tell him that.
"Oh yeah. Does nothing for me." I lied. He half-grinned at me and we continued watching TV. Before I knew it, Sara had woken up. I looked at the time. 3:59.
"So, you guys want to go out to the yard for a while? It's nice." I asked.
"No! It's time for 7th heaven." Jordan went for the remote.
"NO SPONGEBOB!" Sara yelled.
"We watched that yesterday!"
"NO!"
I remembered Rachel's mom wishing me luck at four 'o' clock. I had wondered why. Now I knew.
Sara grabbed the remote but Jordan held fast. She started to wiggle away from Sara, but Sara was determined to watch her favorite yellow sponge with legs. I tried to intervene.
"EIIIIIEEEIII!!" Sara squealed and bit me in the arm.
"Owww!"
"You guys, stop!" Jake got up and tried to wrestle them apart. Jake was easily more than twice either of their size, but he wound up on the heap in the floor. A small bruise appeared on his forehead.
"Sara stop!" Jordan yelled. She gave a big tug and her hand went flying back with the momentum, knocking down a pretty looking lamp. I dove and caught it before it hit the ground. Jake got up.
"Impressive."
"I'm full of surprises." I was getting mad now. I got up.
"STOP!" I yelled at the top of my lungs. Everything stopped. I think even time stopped for a couple seconds. Jordan and Sara both dropped the remote. Jake looked up at me in awe
"We are going outside. We are going to play. We are not going to fight." I said through clenched teeth. Jordan and Sara, who had never seen me mad before, just nodded. They quickly walked out the back door. Jake grinned at me.
"I didn't know your voice could hit that decibel." Jake said.
"Like I said, I'm full of surprises." He cautiously put his arm around my shoulders and we walked outside. Jordan was helping Sara build a castle I her sand turtle. Jordan looked up and caught Jake with his arm around me. He quickly dropped it and suddenly found the brick wall highly interesting. I found the drainpipe fascinating as well. Jordan laughed. She was almost 12, she wasn't dumb.
After a while Jake joined them in the sand. He made Sara and Jordan laugh a lot.
"You know you should be a dad." I told him.
"And you'll be the mommy!" Sara cried.
"Uh, what?" Jake and I asked nervously. Jordan was practically bursting with laughter. Sara continued.
"I'll be the baby and Jordan can be the stinky old grandma!"
That stopped the laughing and they proceeded to chase each other around the lawn.
"I thought she meant - " Jake started.
"Yeah me too." I said. Jake play-threw some sand on my shirt.
"Hey!" We started a mini sand-fight. Jordan and Sara watched us from their swings, but I didn't care. For the first time in a long time I was having fun.
When we were done Jordan ushered Sara inside to go to the bathroom.
"You know, how do they do that? Fight savagely for one minute and then all nice the next." Jake asked. Then he realized who he was talking to and started to stutter. "I mean - "
"Well, that's life sometimes." I said, letting him know he didn't do anything wrong. "No one's family is the Brady Bunch."
"Yeah. " We went inside, hot and tired from playing outside.
"Hey, you got stuff on your back." Jake said. I stopped and helped me brush sand away from my shirt. Suddenly I heard high heeled shoes come clicking into the room.
"Hey guys." Rachel stood there smirking at us.
I realized that Jake had his hands all over my shirt brushing away sand. Our clothes were tousled and our hair was a mess.
"Give me a break." I moaned to no one. Rachel snickered and her mom entered behind her.
"How was it. No broken bones? Hi Jake." She greeted us. Then her eye caught the bite mark Sara left on my arm and the bruise on Jake's head. "Oh no. What did they do now?"
"Nothing Aunt Naomi. Jordan and Sara are in the bathroom. Um I gotta go." Jake hurried out of the house.
Naomi shrugged. "I was goin to pay him too. I thought he was on a date today."
"I think he was. I'm pretty sure he enjoyed it." Rachel piped up gleefully in a way that reminded me of Sara. I elbowed her in the ribs.
"Okay well, here." Rachel's mom handed me a hundred dollar bill.
"What? Mrs. - "
"Cassie take it. I know it was a really rough day. You don't know how thankful we are." She smiled at me. Jordan and Sara tumbled in and gave their mom a hug. Sara hugged Rachel's leg and Jordan stuck her tongue out at her. Rachel returned it. This was definitely one interesting family.
"Well I guess I should go. Call me anytime." I said. I hoped they interpreted "anytime" as "when pigs fly." I'm sure Rachel interpreted it that way. Rachel walked me out the door.
"So, no severe injuries this time. I commend you."
"Nothing happened."
"Oh really." Rachel's eyebrow rose suggestively. "With Jake here nothing happened?"
"Oh ,well. . .Sara saw him in midmorph."
Rachel's eyes bugged out. "WHAT!?"
"Relax - "
From inside we heard Sara yell "I SAW PIKACHU MOMMY!"
" - there ya go. She thought he was Pikachu."
Rachel looked torn between amusement and relief. "Well, I'll see you later Cassie. I'm going to help you spend that hundred dollars."
"What? I can't spend it on the animal charity of my choice?
"Sure. If the Gap is an animal charity." She chuckled and went back into her house.
I slowly made my way down the front steps. Looking back, the day wasn't that bad. Unless Rachel's mom found out about the fax. But I had managed to keep Jordan and Sara alive, without serious damage to myself. I found out Rachel still had a thing for Jeremy Jason McCole, which could be very useful. I spent some time with Jake. . .no, not a bad day at all. Plus I'd just made a hundred bucks. Everything I'd done that day was infinitely harder than one on one combat with a Hork-Bajir. And I got paid. I guess babysitting wasn't so hard after all. I'd do it again if they asked. If Jake was there.
As I started to step off the last step, I heard Jordan yell from inside.
"CASSIE SAID RACHEL HAS A BOYFRIEND AND THEY KISS ALL THE TIME."
I bolted from their lawn and ran down the street and into a bush where I morphed osprey to get as far away from Rachel's wrath as possible. On second thought, maybe I'd wait a while before taking on that challenge again.