Rating: G (So far at least)
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. I wish.
Summary: A REALISTIC view of the CSI's in high school. No relationships, and everyone gets their POV included. Including Greg. I'm basically following one CSI as they come into contact with one another. I don't know if that's very clear at all but.
I made up (most) of the stuff about their past, and I have no idea where this school is, but somewhere where it's cold in the winter. Please review, I need encouragement!
And everyone, I'm sorry about the big block of text that I didn't paragraph. (You'll see what I mean.) I find it hard to read blocks of text like that, but I find that it helps if I highlight it bit by bit. It's not the whole story, just a small part that's not paragraphed, so you won't have to do too much. I do have a good reason though.
She saw him coming. Yes she did, but still she didn't move out of his way. There were two reasons for this. One was that she was very preoccupied, as her mind was still trying to come to terms with something she'd read. The other reason was because she assumed *he* would get out of *her* way.
When he bumped into her she finally was shaken out of her stupor. She heard his mumbled apology, but she wasn't able to say anything to him before he was already walking swiftly away. She came to a shocking realization, the second this day.
Catherine looked down at herself, really looked. She didn't like what she saw. She was wearing tight mini-shorts, and a tank top that left nothing to the imagination. As she continued on towards her destination, all she could think was... *I've turned into a slut! A slut! Look at how I acted towards that kid. I didn't get out of his way, not even when I knew, I *knew * that he wasn't looking where he was going. * She'd gone too far this time. Catherine knew that she had tons of self-confidence. But never did she believe that she might escalate into a bitch! A bitch, that's what she was. And she hadn't even realized until now! Why hadn't she realized it until now? Maybe it was just the look on the guy's face. The way his face almost... convulsed in fear. Was she really that bad?
Or maybe it was the shock she'd had this morning that had woken her up from her semi-permanent daze. She'd never really paid attention to what she was doing, preferring to think while her body went on auto-pilot. Maybe her revelation she'd had earlier that morning had set her on edge, made her more aware of her surroundings.
That morning had been like any other morning. She was dropped off early on her mom's way to work. She hung out in the computer lab, just like she usually did. She didn't talk to anyone there, just stayed to herself, checking her email, and playing online games. After a few minutes the only other occupant of the lab left, presumably to go to the washroom. Catherine knew her vaguely, knew that she wasn't very popular. Knew that no one really liked her, and people avoided her, didn't want to be her partner in gym. She wasn't very good in school, and Catherine remembered gossiping about her more than once.
She didn't remember how she got to the other's computer, but she did remember vividly the words that appeared on the screen.
The typing was rough, with many spelling and punctuation errors. It looked like the girl had just started pounding the keyboard, not intending to go in any particular direction. There were no paragraphs separating the different ideas. There was no point as they changed from one to another quickly, without a pause in between.
"I picked up the knives... I couldnt keep myself from them. They almost call to me. I tested them out. To see which ones were best. I tried the razor, but it didn't work at all. The knives weren't much better. The best they could do was leave pink marks behind, no blood. I'm wondering if they won't draw blood because I don't really want them to, or if my mother's knives are just dull. i dont know what to do... I'm so confused. I know one thing tho. I know that I cant live out my life like most peopl do. There's no point. I'm not sure what I'm hoping for when I die. I don't really think there will be a heaven or hell like a lot of people beleive. I'm thinking more like a never ending sleep. Or maybe death is what you want it to be. I don't know. I want to know. Why am I writing this? It's not a suicide note or anything. It's just that... I never told any one anything about wanting to die, so, maybe I thought that if i wrote about it then... i dont know. In any case, I can't save this. My fear is less of actually dying... but of NOT dying. If someone comes a long and i survive... It would be horrible. Would they put me into an institution, or what? But then everyone I knew would know my secret, and I don't want that. How would they react? So, when I do kill myself I'll have to make SURE that I die. I've seen too many shows and movie where there are survivors of suicide when they've slit their wrists. But i suppose that the ones who dont survive arent' very interesting. So... I don't know. I can't wait until I'm old enough to get a gun. Glass? That would probably cut very nicely compared to my moms knives. But where would i get any?? Hang myself? i dunno, a noose seems kinda complicated. I was never good at the knots in sailing class. I don't know... I just don't know..."
Catherine paused for a second, shocked stiff. Then she remembered that the writer would probably be back very soon. She ran back to her computer. She stared at the screen, but she wasn't seeing it. Instead, she imagined the nameless girl killing herself, with barely anyone to attend the funeral. What would that be like for someone? Catherine didn't know, she'd always had tons of friends.
The other girl reentered the room, and Catherine temporarily came back to her senses. She refocused on the screen, and started clicking like crazy, determined to make it seem like nothing had happened while she'd been gone.
Even so, she couldn't help but sneak a look at the other girl's face. It was sort of sad, but not overly so. If she hadn't been paying attention, Catherine wouldn't have even noticed it.
She'd started wondering if maybe she should start up a friendship with the girl, no matter what her other "friends" would think. Now that her mind was cleared, Catherine realized bitterly that her friends were just as bad as she had been. But she was determined to change that now. She would do anything, anything at all, to keep herself from becoming that mean person again.
She was still pondering all of this when the bell rang at 8:30. She grabbed her bag and headed to her locker. She would figure it out on the way. But already she was nearing her destination, and she hadn't decided on anything.
She dropped her backpack in front of her locker, and fiddled with her lock. It always seemed to take an eternity to open it up, maybe because she'd been using it for the past 5 years.
Catherine sighed at the interruption in the form of her friend Jacki.
"Like, oh my god!! Did you hear?! You know Jake, well guess what he did! He asked me out! Oh my god! Who does he think he is?! Nick or something? Hey, you think I could ask Nick to dance tonight? Oh, I bet he's a great dancer..."
Catherine rolled her eyes at the senseless babbling. Had she really been like this before? No way.. Well, maybe just a bit. But she'd like to think that she was different, considering she'd actually had to work for her money.
Since she was 10, Catherine had been working wherever she could find a job. Newspaper delivery, babysitting, waitress, pizza girl, none of them paid particularly well. She'd saved as much as she could, only spending money on food, clothing, and the bills. Her mother worked, but she didn't get paid enough to take care of everything.
Catherine was ever increasingly aware of the upcoming graduation. She wanted- no, needed to go to college. She knew she was smart, but not smart enough to win a scholarship. While her friends would hang out at the local coffee shop, she would be working hard to earn money.
It still wasn't enough. Even if she continued working every single day for the next 2 years until graduation she wouldn't have enough money. She needed another source of income, but she had no idea where it could come from. Definitely not her mother. Her mom could hardly provide for herself, let alone pay for college.
Catherine tugged viscously at her lock, sighing as it finally came off. Jaki was still shrieking, this time about something she found hilariously funny. Catherine threw her locker open, only narrowly missing Jacki's face. Her mouth shut for a second, and Catherine welcomed that small relief from the headache that had been building up for a while now. Unfortunately, Jacki took the near miss as an accident, and began her screaming all over again. As Catherine looked at her, she could almost imagine Jacki as some large bird, possibly a crow. She let a small bitter smile escape, as she leaned against her open locker, digging her long nails into her temples. The attempt to rid herself of the headache backfired when she felt her nails draw blood. She stopped and looked down at her hands. Her nails, long, and sharp from lack of nail clippers, now had a small amount of blood clinging to the edges. She watched as a small drop fell to the floor.
Her strange trance was broken by a change of tone in Jacki's voice.
"What do you want?"
Turning, a smaller girl came into Catherine's view. The girl was probably 2 years younger than her, and she was surprised that she hadn't noticed her before.
"Excuse me."
The girl pushed towards them, and was about to kick the bag Catherine had dropped in front of her locker, but decided against it. "Excuse me." She said it louder this time, but she still seemed kind of... shy? Afraid?
Catherine picked up her bag, and stuffed it into her locker. During all this Jacki had been silent, but now she started talking again. Ignoring her, Catherine turned to examine the girl. She realized that her locker must've been next to hers all year, but she'd never really noticed her. Searching her memories, she finally remembered that this same thing had happened almost every single day.
She'd drop her bag carelessly in front of her locker, then sit down and chat with Jacki and a few others. The girl would arrive a few minutes later. She'd say, "excuse me" exactly 2 times, then Catherine would usually move her bag, complete with a snide comment about saying please and thank you. The girl would never say anything to her, but Catherine could tell that she hated her. The burning look in her eyes said it all. Before this morning she probably wouldn't have cared. But now...
"Hey."
The girl glanced at her, but didn't reply.
Deterred for only a second, Catherine said the first thing that came to mind.
"So, you going to the dance tonight?"
The burning in the girl's eyes didn't dissipate any, but she replied politely.
"Yeah."
Catherine was surprised. The first reason was that the girl didn't seem to be looking forward to the dance. The second reason was that a girl that seemed so shy would even bother to go the dance. Catherine had no idea why she'd asked the question anyways, she should have thought about it first. Now what could she say?
"Umm, sorry but I don't really know your name."
By now Jacki realized that no one was listening to her. Letting a small "hmph" sound escape her lips, she spun around and walked quickly away.
"No you don't" The girl had by now finished getting her books, and was turning to leave.
"Wait!"
The girl turned, and Catherine started talking when she realized that a little blood was dripping from her temple. Carefully she flipped her hair so it would cover it up. She didn't want everyone to be asking her stupid questions about if she was ok, and what had happened to give her such a cut.
"No seriously," She continued, "What's your name?"
The girl's eyes were guarded, but she gave a straight answer this time.
"Sara."
Catherine watched as the girl turned again, but this time she didn't keep her from leaving. Her mind was filled with so many questions.
Why did Sara seem so shy when her eyes seemed so angry? What could she do about the girl from the computer lab? How would she pay for college? Could she keep herself from becoming the mean person she was before? And most importantly: How could she get Jacki to just shut up and leave her alone already!
Everyone: Thank you so much for reviewing this story and I really hope that you will continue to read and review it. Only 2 chapters until it will be finished! (Sara's chapter and the chapter with everyone in it.) Thanks again for the encouragement.
A Bloom: That is a good idea; the only problem is that I know barely anything about Catherine's storyline on the show. I'm ashamed to saw that, while I have seen almost all the episodes, I haven't really paid much attention to Catherine. I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Catherine just isn't my favorite character!
Kady Rilla Wholi: I sort of did something different here. A lot different actually. I did like the idea of her not having much money, but I tried to focus more on what was happening at the school. And I can't really see her being sexually assaulted, just because she's so confident. And about the info on Sara... sure! I need all the help I can get. I won't promise I'll use your ideas though, because I already have sort of an idea of what I'm going to write.
McCarthy Punk: Actually I really liked this idea and that's why I used it. I also liked how you didn't delve into it with tons of detail and all that. I like to play around with the idea, not have it all planned out for me.
Charming-Storm: Yep! Thanks for the encouragement though!
csi-freak03: Uh yeah, sorry about that. In the quotes from the show he says that he was a nerd, he had glasses, and big feet. I guess I just sort of imagined him as short. And I thought it was funnier when he runs into Catherine if he's short. I admit my mistake!
icanreadncount: I'm trying not to use the same problems for more than one character. If you remember at the beginning I had Gil moving around lots, so I didn't think I should do that for Catherine as well.
annie: I'm trying really hard to keep this story from turning into a shipper's convention. I know that some people do like these stories, (I admit that I've read one or 2 myself) but it just doesn't work for me. And you know, that's a really good idea. I would probably have used it if I thought that this chapter was long enough, and that I should post it already. And I am honored that I am the one to receive your longest review. I accept it graciously.
csifan1: Good idea, but I tried to keep it focused more on school. Too many flashbacks can get very confusing. Thanks for the review though!
Elina: Well, I'm glad you remembered this story! Without your late review I probably would have forgotten all about writing it. (I'm just kidding! I could never forget all of my great reviewers waiting for a new part!) But your review did get me off my butt (when I wasn't doing homework at least) and writing. (And thanks for at least trying to remember what movie it was. It doesn't really matter, I was just curious.) (
Disclaimer: Nothing belongs to me. I wish.
Summary: A REALISTIC view of the CSI's in high school. No relationships, and everyone gets their POV included. Including Greg. I'm basically following one CSI as they come into contact with one another. I don't know if that's very clear at all but.
I made up (most) of the stuff about their past, and I have no idea where this school is, but somewhere where it's cold in the winter. Please review, I need encouragement!
And everyone, I'm sorry about the big block of text that I didn't paragraph. (You'll see what I mean.) I find it hard to read blocks of text like that, but I find that it helps if I highlight it bit by bit. It's not the whole story, just a small part that's not paragraphed, so you won't have to do too much. I do have a good reason though.
She saw him coming. Yes she did, but still she didn't move out of his way. There were two reasons for this. One was that she was very preoccupied, as her mind was still trying to come to terms with something she'd read. The other reason was because she assumed *he* would get out of *her* way.
When he bumped into her she finally was shaken out of her stupor. She heard his mumbled apology, but she wasn't able to say anything to him before he was already walking swiftly away. She came to a shocking realization, the second this day.
Catherine looked down at herself, really looked. She didn't like what she saw. She was wearing tight mini-shorts, and a tank top that left nothing to the imagination. As she continued on towards her destination, all she could think was... *I've turned into a slut! A slut! Look at how I acted towards that kid. I didn't get out of his way, not even when I knew, I *knew * that he wasn't looking where he was going. * She'd gone too far this time. Catherine knew that she had tons of self-confidence. But never did she believe that she might escalate into a bitch! A bitch, that's what she was. And she hadn't even realized until now! Why hadn't she realized it until now? Maybe it was just the look on the guy's face. The way his face almost... convulsed in fear. Was she really that bad?
Or maybe it was the shock she'd had this morning that had woken her up from her semi-permanent daze. She'd never really paid attention to what she was doing, preferring to think while her body went on auto-pilot. Maybe her revelation she'd had earlier that morning had set her on edge, made her more aware of her surroundings.
That morning had been like any other morning. She was dropped off early on her mom's way to work. She hung out in the computer lab, just like she usually did. She didn't talk to anyone there, just stayed to herself, checking her email, and playing online games. After a few minutes the only other occupant of the lab left, presumably to go to the washroom. Catherine knew her vaguely, knew that she wasn't very popular. Knew that no one really liked her, and people avoided her, didn't want to be her partner in gym. She wasn't very good in school, and Catherine remembered gossiping about her more than once.
She didn't remember how she got to the other's computer, but she did remember vividly the words that appeared on the screen.
The typing was rough, with many spelling and punctuation errors. It looked like the girl had just started pounding the keyboard, not intending to go in any particular direction. There were no paragraphs separating the different ideas. There was no point as they changed from one to another quickly, without a pause in between.
"I picked up the knives... I couldnt keep myself from them. They almost call to me. I tested them out. To see which ones were best. I tried the razor, but it didn't work at all. The knives weren't much better. The best they could do was leave pink marks behind, no blood. I'm wondering if they won't draw blood because I don't really want them to, or if my mother's knives are just dull. i dont know what to do... I'm so confused. I know one thing tho. I know that I cant live out my life like most peopl do. There's no point. I'm not sure what I'm hoping for when I die. I don't really think there will be a heaven or hell like a lot of people beleive. I'm thinking more like a never ending sleep. Or maybe death is what you want it to be. I don't know. I want to know. Why am I writing this? It's not a suicide note or anything. It's just that... I never told any one anything about wanting to die, so, maybe I thought that if i wrote about it then... i dont know. In any case, I can't save this. My fear is less of actually dying... but of NOT dying. If someone comes a long and i survive... It would be horrible. Would they put me into an institution, or what? But then everyone I knew would know my secret, and I don't want that. How would they react? So, when I do kill myself I'll have to make SURE that I die. I've seen too many shows and movie where there are survivors of suicide when they've slit their wrists. But i suppose that the ones who dont survive arent' very interesting. So... I don't know. I can't wait until I'm old enough to get a gun. Glass? That would probably cut very nicely compared to my moms knives. But where would i get any?? Hang myself? i dunno, a noose seems kinda complicated. I was never good at the knots in sailing class. I don't know... I just don't know..."
Catherine paused for a second, shocked stiff. Then she remembered that the writer would probably be back very soon. She ran back to her computer. She stared at the screen, but she wasn't seeing it. Instead, she imagined the nameless girl killing herself, with barely anyone to attend the funeral. What would that be like for someone? Catherine didn't know, she'd always had tons of friends.
The other girl reentered the room, and Catherine temporarily came back to her senses. She refocused on the screen, and started clicking like crazy, determined to make it seem like nothing had happened while she'd been gone.
Even so, she couldn't help but sneak a look at the other girl's face. It was sort of sad, but not overly so. If she hadn't been paying attention, Catherine wouldn't have even noticed it.
She'd started wondering if maybe she should start up a friendship with the girl, no matter what her other "friends" would think. Now that her mind was cleared, Catherine realized bitterly that her friends were just as bad as she had been. But she was determined to change that now. She would do anything, anything at all, to keep herself from becoming that mean person again.
She was still pondering all of this when the bell rang at 8:30. She grabbed her bag and headed to her locker. She would figure it out on the way. But already she was nearing her destination, and she hadn't decided on anything.
She dropped her backpack in front of her locker, and fiddled with her lock. It always seemed to take an eternity to open it up, maybe because she'd been using it for the past 5 years.
Catherine sighed at the interruption in the form of her friend Jacki.
"Like, oh my god!! Did you hear?! You know Jake, well guess what he did! He asked me out! Oh my god! Who does he think he is?! Nick or something? Hey, you think I could ask Nick to dance tonight? Oh, I bet he's a great dancer..."
Catherine rolled her eyes at the senseless babbling. Had she really been like this before? No way.. Well, maybe just a bit. But she'd like to think that she was different, considering she'd actually had to work for her money.
Since she was 10, Catherine had been working wherever she could find a job. Newspaper delivery, babysitting, waitress, pizza girl, none of them paid particularly well. She'd saved as much as she could, only spending money on food, clothing, and the bills. Her mother worked, but she didn't get paid enough to take care of everything.
Catherine was ever increasingly aware of the upcoming graduation. She wanted- no, needed to go to college. She knew she was smart, but not smart enough to win a scholarship. While her friends would hang out at the local coffee shop, she would be working hard to earn money.
It still wasn't enough. Even if she continued working every single day for the next 2 years until graduation she wouldn't have enough money. She needed another source of income, but she had no idea where it could come from. Definitely not her mother. Her mom could hardly provide for herself, let alone pay for college.
Catherine tugged viscously at her lock, sighing as it finally came off. Jaki was still shrieking, this time about something she found hilariously funny. Catherine threw her locker open, only narrowly missing Jacki's face. Her mouth shut for a second, and Catherine welcomed that small relief from the headache that had been building up for a while now. Unfortunately, Jacki took the near miss as an accident, and began her screaming all over again. As Catherine looked at her, she could almost imagine Jacki as some large bird, possibly a crow. She let a small bitter smile escape, as she leaned against her open locker, digging her long nails into her temples. The attempt to rid herself of the headache backfired when she felt her nails draw blood. She stopped and looked down at her hands. Her nails, long, and sharp from lack of nail clippers, now had a small amount of blood clinging to the edges. She watched as a small drop fell to the floor.
Her strange trance was broken by a change of tone in Jacki's voice.
"What do you want?"
Turning, a smaller girl came into Catherine's view. The girl was probably 2 years younger than her, and she was surprised that she hadn't noticed her before.
"Excuse me."
The girl pushed towards them, and was about to kick the bag Catherine had dropped in front of her locker, but decided against it. "Excuse me." She said it louder this time, but she still seemed kind of... shy? Afraid?
Catherine picked up her bag, and stuffed it into her locker. During all this Jacki had been silent, but now she started talking again. Ignoring her, Catherine turned to examine the girl. She realized that her locker must've been next to hers all year, but she'd never really noticed her. Searching her memories, she finally remembered that this same thing had happened almost every single day.
She'd drop her bag carelessly in front of her locker, then sit down and chat with Jacki and a few others. The girl would arrive a few minutes later. She'd say, "excuse me" exactly 2 times, then Catherine would usually move her bag, complete with a snide comment about saying please and thank you. The girl would never say anything to her, but Catherine could tell that she hated her. The burning look in her eyes said it all. Before this morning she probably wouldn't have cared. But now...
"Hey."
The girl glanced at her, but didn't reply.
Deterred for only a second, Catherine said the first thing that came to mind.
"So, you going to the dance tonight?"
The burning in the girl's eyes didn't dissipate any, but she replied politely.
"Yeah."
Catherine was surprised. The first reason was that the girl didn't seem to be looking forward to the dance. The second reason was that a girl that seemed so shy would even bother to go the dance. Catherine had no idea why she'd asked the question anyways, she should have thought about it first. Now what could she say?
"Umm, sorry but I don't really know your name."
By now Jacki realized that no one was listening to her. Letting a small "hmph" sound escape her lips, she spun around and walked quickly away.
"No you don't" The girl had by now finished getting her books, and was turning to leave.
"Wait!"
The girl turned, and Catherine started talking when she realized that a little blood was dripping from her temple. Carefully she flipped her hair so it would cover it up. She didn't want everyone to be asking her stupid questions about if she was ok, and what had happened to give her such a cut.
"No seriously," She continued, "What's your name?"
The girl's eyes were guarded, but she gave a straight answer this time.
"Sara."
Catherine watched as the girl turned again, but this time she didn't keep her from leaving. Her mind was filled with so many questions.
Why did Sara seem so shy when her eyes seemed so angry? What could she do about the girl from the computer lab? How would she pay for college? Could she keep herself from becoming the mean person she was before? And most importantly: How could she get Jacki to just shut up and leave her alone already!
Everyone: Thank you so much for reviewing this story and I really hope that you will continue to read and review it. Only 2 chapters until it will be finished! (Sara's chapter and the chapter with everyone in it.) Thanks again for the encouragement.
A Bloom: That is a good idea; the only problem is that I know barely anything about Catherine's storyline on the show. I'm ashamed to saw that, while I have seen almost all the episodes, I haven't really paid much attention to Catherine. I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Catherine just isn't my favorite character!
Kady Rilla Wholi: I sort of did something different here. A lot different actually. I did like the idea of her not having much money, but I tried to focus more on what was happening at the school. And I can't really see her being sexually assaulted, just because she's so confident. And about the info on Sara... sure! I need all the help I can get. I won't promise I'll use your ideas though, because I already have sort of an idea of what I'm going to write.
McCarthy Punk: Actually I really liked this idea and that's why I used it. I also liked how you didn't delve into it with tons of detail and all that. I like to play around with the idea, not have it all planned out for me.
Charming-Storm: Yep! Thanks for the encouragement though!
csi-freak03: Uh yeah, sorry about that. In the quotes from the show he says that he was a nerd, he had glasses, and big feet. I guess I just sort of imagined him as short. And I thought it was funnier when he runs into Catherine if he's short. I admit my mistake!
icanreadncount: I'm trying not to use the same problems for more than one character. If you remember at the beginning I had Gil moving around lots, so I didn't think I should do that for Catherine as well.
annie: I'm trying really hard to keep this story from turning into a shipper's convention. I know that some people do like these stories, (I admit that I've read one or 2 myself) but it just doesn't work for me. And you know, that's a really good idea. I would probably have used it if I thought that this chapter was long enough, and that I should post it already. And I am honored that I am the one to receive your longest review. I accept it graciously.
csifan1: Good idea, but I tried to keep it focused more on school. Too many flashbacks can get very confusing. Thanks for the review though!
Elina: Well, I'm glad you remembered this story! Without your late review I probably would have forgotten all about writing it. (I'm just kidding! I could never forget all of my great reviewers waiting for a new part!) But your review did get me off my butt (when I wasn't doing homework at least) and writing. (And thanks for at least trying to remember what movie it was. It doesn't really matter, I was just curious.) (