Usual disclaimers apply. I do not own any familiar characters. Please R/R!!

~Pride and Joy~

I can't believe how much things have changed. Five years ago I never would have thought I would be where I am now. I admit I was scared at first. I didn't think I could handle myself and the responsibility. I thought what I had with Stephanie was special. I loved her and I had strong feelings for her and I thought she shared the same with me. We were secretly together for about a year when she told me she didn't love me anymore, and that she didn't think she ever did. You have no idea how that felt. Our whole relationship was suddenly nothing. I had believed that we were happy and that we would continue to be happy when all of a sudden those feelings shattered in my face. I had even planned to propose to her. I'm glad she told me before hand, though. I don't know what I would have done if she declined.

People laughed at our on-screen relationship and how she would always knock me down after I would approach her. It wasn't always like that, though. Heck, our real relationship started because of that. Our little "love triangle" was fun while it lasted on TV but it soon grew into more. I loved our little knowing looks that we gave each other in the ring. I should have become suspicious, though, when Steph changed her character to a face and really started talking bad about me. I didn't know that was how she really felt. So, of course, I was surprised when she approached me a few months after our split up (I just can't bring myself to call it a breakup. I don't know why) and told me I was going to be a father. I was ecstatic. Not only was I going to be the father of Stephanie's child, but also her and I would get back together. Needless to say, I was wrong again. She told me she didn't want anything to do with me and that included my child. I didn't know what to think. This woman that I loved, and as much as I hate to admit it, I still do, but hearing this woman tell me straight out that she wasn't going to raise her own child, it did something to me. I realized that we will never be together and no matter how hard I try, she will never come close to loving me.

I wouldn't let her get an abortion. That was my child too, after all, and I had a say in it's future. So, I took her to court. Steph was rather happy to know that I would get full custody. She convinced the judge that I should pay her to have this child due to the "emotional trauma she would experience during the birth". I had to pay for my child. Ridiculous. But I didn't care; I was a soon to be daddy. Anyway, I was fortunate enough to be present for the birth. I didn't hold Steph's hand, tell her to breathe, or any other loving things a man would do to his wife, which upset me a little. I simply watched, and yes, I did cry when I saw my daughter being born. Steph didn't let me bring a camera, but I will never forget the joy I felt when I saw her tiny body. I did get to cut the cord and I must say that was the proudest moment of my entire life. Winning the Olympics was nothing compared to that. I was hurt when Stephanie refused to hold the baby but I read that the child attaches itself to the first person they see. Yes, I have read parenting books when I found out. So, I was proud to be that first person. I cried when the doctor moved to place the baby in my arms.

That was four years ago. My daughter, Kristian, is now a young lady going on to her first day of kindergarten. It is so hard raising her alone and there are several times where I lay in bed and think that there is no way I can continue to do this by myself. It is so frustration to hear her cries and not know what is wrong. I don't know what to do a lot of the times and it makes me feel as if I'm failing as a father. Then she would smile at me as she gives me a dandelion or a picture she colored from her book and my heart melts and I know I am doing the best I can. I hope it's good enough for her. She deserves the world. I couldn't wrestle anymore after she was born. The surgery I had for my neck didn't really go as planned and as much as I dedicated my life to the business, I knew that if I wanted to be around for my daughter, I had to take care of myself. I'm a trainer now. I miss wrestling but my daughter is worth it. I'm proud to say she looks just like me. Even though every time I look at her, I see Steph. The only thing I fear now is the day she asks me about her mother. I love her so much, she's my whole life, and the last thing I want to do is hurt her. How can I tell her that her own mother doesn't care about either one of us? The last time Steph has seen her was two years ago when we accidentally came across each other at the store. I had Kristian in one arm and a bag of diapers in the other. Steph had a six-pack of beer and a wedding ring. She looked awful, I must say. She simply looked at me, then Kristian before walking away. I wanted to tell her all about the joy she was missing. I wanted to tell her how wonderful it felt to have a baby wrap their tiny hand around your finger. I also wanted to thank her for giving me this joy. If not for her, I would be absolutely alone. But I didn't say anything. I heard she's married to Paul now. I hope she's happy. I hope Krissy won't blame me for things not working out between her mother and me, but I have some time before she asks and I'm not going to let Steph bring me down any longer. I am happy and I know my child is happy. I must say there is no greater feeling then having your child reach up to take your hand as you walk. It's great knowing they rely on you for security. I hate letting her go and I'm going to hate watching her grow up. I hate not knowing what the future is going to bring for us and that scares me. I don't know what's going to happen on her first day of school, her first game or her first date, but if there is one thing I know for sure, it's that I wouldn't miss it for the world.

"Daddy? Can you help me with my book bag?"

I smile. "Sure, baby."

~End~