What 'Should Be' Means Nothing
Notes: This fic is a departure from what I'm used to writing. Anyone who's read my stuff before should understand why. Like most of what I write, it's a yaoi fic. That was your warning, flamers. The ages are different from in the show--see the chart below.
Ages-
Takeru-14
Hikari-14
Taichi-16
Yamato-16
Koushiro-15
Jyou-17
...you can figure it out from here.
Disclaimer: Are you really foolish enough to think that I own Digimon? I don't.
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Looking down, Takeru walked through the school halls thinking.
'Why do I feel like this? Why do I want him? I'm supposed to like Hikari. Everybody's always said that we make the perfect couple. We're 'destined' to be together...aren't we? So why do I like-' Takeru's thoughts were derailed as he ran into someone in the hall. He looked up to see who it was that he'd knocked over, and then blushed as he saw who it was.
"H-hi, Jyou," Takeru said shakily. "Sorry about that."
"It's all right. You looked like you were thinking before...could I ask what about," Jyou said with compassion in his voice.
"Uhh...why should YOU care, Jyou," Takeru responded with caution. Jyou panicked for a moment before inventing a response.
"You know, old reliable Jyou, always taking responsibility for other people's problems." The two boys' anxiety was so thick, you could feel it in the air.
"Right. Well, I'm fine. Just a little tired." Takeru was blushing crimson. Between that and how shaky Takeru's voice was, Jyou saw right through him.
"I'll see you later then, I guess."
"Yeah, later." With those words the two boys parted. Takeru was left with a feeling of anxiety, Jyou with a feeling of reassurement.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-xOutside of the school-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
"Hi, Takeru," Hikari said with excitement as she saw him walking out of the school. "Looking forward to our date tonight?"
Takeru's face was blank. "What? Date? Oh, yeah, 8:30 right?"
"8:00. We only made it yesterday...don't you remember?"
"uhh...yeah, yeah, of course I remember." Takeru's voice sounded flat.
"Are you all right, Takeru," Hikari asked with a bit of concern.
"No, I'm fine. I'll see you tonight. 8:00." Takeru ran home as fast as he could after that. The less he had to deal with her, the better.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-xTakeru's room-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
"Hi, Takeru!" The chiming voice of his digimon startled Takeru.
"Hey, Patamon," Takeru said with the same droll voice he had talked to Hikari with. "I need to tell you something. A secret."
"What is it," the small digimon asked as it hovered in the air, its golden brown wings flapping slowly.
"I...I love someone other than Hikari. I love...another boy," Takeru said in an almost-whisper.
"I see," said the small digimon-even though he didn't.
"It's Jyou," Takeru added, almost wincing.
"Are you going to cancel your dinner with Hikari tonight, then?"
"No. I couldn't do that to her."
"How can you go on a date with her if you don't care about her?"
Takeru was somewhat insulted by that comment, and he responded in an indignant voice. "I do care about her, but it's different. It's sort of the way I care about Yamato. If I didn't care about her, I wouldn't be worried about hurting her."
"But if you pretend to like her, you'll hurt her more later on."
Takeru was tired of listening to this. "Shut up, Patamon," he said, throwing a pillow at the digimon and knocking it to the floor.
'I know he doesn't mean to be cruel to me,' Patamon said with a tear in his eye, 'it's just that he's upset. That's all. That's all.' Patamon repeated that phrase in his head again and again.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-In the restaurant-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Hikari and Takeru were in a stylish restaurant that had just opened up in Odaiba. Takeru, naturally, had seemed dejected and alone all evening. Hikari wasn't having a particularly good time, and it was about to get much worse.
"I want to tell you something, Takeru," Hikari said, trying to grab his attention. Takeru was looking straight at her, but his mind was on Jyou's soft blue hair; his cute wireframe glasses; that beautiful, caring smile he has. "I love you Takeru."
Takeru responded in an almost automatic way, having not snapped back into reality all the way. "I love you too, Jyou."
"What?!?" That pulled him all the way back into the moment.
"I...umm, err..." Takeru could think of nothing to save his comment, or Hikari's feelings for that matter. The look on Hikari's face told you that she was crushed. Takeru's face was a giant apology. It didn't help. They both left the restaurant with that and went home.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-xTakeru's roomx-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
"I...I have to call Jyou," Takeru said to himself for the fifteenth time. For the fifteenth time he picked up the phone. For the twelfth time he dialed the first three digits of Jyou's number. For the eighth time he dial the first seven. For the first time, Takeru dialed the last digit of Jyou's phone number.
"Hello, Kido residence, Jyou speaking."
"Hey, Jyou. It's Takeru. I need to say something to you." Takeru's voice was filled with tension.
"Hai?"
"I...I..."
"You can tell me anything, Takeru. I won't be bothered by anything you could say." This was entirely false, but since Jyou already knew what Takeru was going to say he figured it didn't matter.
"I love you, Jyou."
"I already know. You made it very clear when I ran into you today. How about you come over here tomorrow and we can talk about it."
"Great. See you tomorrow, then, Jyou," Takeru said with a feeling of great relief. The only problem now was Hikari. After what he'd done...would she even talk to him tomorrow, or ever again for that matter? Once he had worked things out with Jyou, could he and Hikari still get together? Takeru's grief over Hikari was the worst part of his ordeal.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-Jyou's room-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Hikari didn't talk to Takeru the following day at school, but it was partly because he avoided her at all opportunities. Jyou and he had walked from the school to Jyou's house.
"I'm not supposed to feel this way," Takeru said, close to tears, sitting next to Jyou on his bed.
"It's all right, Takeru. It's all right."
"No! It's not all right," Takeru yelled, beginning to cry. "I'm supposed to love Hikari! That's what's meant to happen!" At this point Takeru collapsed into Jyou's open arms, sobbing. "Me! And Hikari! We're supposed to love each other forever. That's what's right! That's what should be!"
Jyou hugged Takeru close to him. "What should be isn't important. We can't live in what should happen. We can only live in what is. There are some things that we just aren't able to choose. If it's any consolation- I love you, Takeru."
"I love you too, Jyou," Takeru said as he cried into Jyou's chest. Jyou hugged Takeru harder in response.
End.
Notes: This fic is a departure from what I'm used to writing. Anyone who's read my stuff before should understand why. Like most of what I write, it's a yaoi fic. That was your warning, flamers. The ages are different from in the show--see the chart below.
Ages-
Takeru-14
Hikari-14
Taichi-16
Yamato-16
Koushiro-15
Jyou-17
...you can figure it out from here.
Disclaimer: Are you really foolish enough to think that I own Digimon? I don't.
-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==--==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-
Looking down, Takeru walked through the school halls thinking.
'Why do I feel like this? Why do I want him? I'm supposed to like Hikari. Everybody's always said that we make the perfect couple. We're 'destined' to be together...aren't we? So why do I like-' Takeru's thoughts were derailed as he ran into someone in the hall. He looked up to see who it was that he'd knocked over, and then blushed as he saw who it was.
"H-hi, Jyou," Takeru said shakily. "Sorry about that."
"It's all right. You looked like you were thinking before...could I ask what about," Jyou said with compassion in his voice.
"Uhh...why should YOU care, Jyou," Takeru responded with caution. Jyou panicked for a moment before inventing a response.
"You know, old reliable Jyou, always taking responsibility for other people's problems." The two boys' anxiety was so thick, you could feel it in the air.
"Right. Well, I'm fine. Just a little tired." Takeru was blushing crimson. Between that and how shaky Takeru's voice was, Jyou saw right through him.
"I'll see you later then, I guess."
"Yeah, later." With those words the two boys parted. Takeru was left with a feeling of anxiety, Jyou with a feeling of reassurement.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-xOutside of the school-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
"Hi, Takeru," Hikari said with excitement as she saw him walking out of the school. "Looking forward to our date tonight?"
Takeru's face was blank. "What? Date? Oh, yeah, 8:30 right?"
"8:00. We only made it yesterday...don't you remember?"
"uhh...yeah, yeah, of course I remember." Takeru's voice sounded flat.
"Are you all right, Takeru," Hikari asked with a bit of concern.
"No, I'm fine. I'll see you tonight. 8:00." Takeru ran home as fast as he could after that. The less he had to deal with her, the better.
-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-xTakeru's room-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
"Hi, Takeru!" The chiming voice of his digimon startled Takeru.
"Hey, Patamon," Takeru said with the same droll voice he had talked to Hikari with. "I need to tell you something. A secret."
"What is it," the small digimon asked as it hovered in the air, its golden brown wings flapping slowly.
"I...I love someone other than Hikari. I love...another boy," Takeru said in an almost-whisper.
"I see," said the small digimon-even though he didn't.
"It's Jyou," Takeru added, almost wincing.
"Are you going to cancel your dinner with Hikari tonight, then?"
"No. I couldn't do that to her."
"How can you go on a date with her if you don't care about her?"
Takeru was somewhat insulted by that comment, and he responded in an indignant voice. "I do care about her, but it's different. It's sort of the way I care about Yamato. If I didn't care about her, I wouldn't be worried about hurting her."
"But if you pretend to like her, you'll hurt her more later on."
Takeru was tired of listening to this. "Shut up, Patamon," he said, throwing a pillow at the digimon and knocking it to the floor.
'I know he doesn't mean to be cruel to me,' Patamon said with a tear in his eye, 'it's just that he's upset. That's all. That's all.' Patamon repeated that phrase in his head again and again.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-In the restaurant-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
Hikari and Takeru were in a stylish restaurant that had just opened up in Odaiba. Takeru, naturally, had seemed dejected and alone all evening. Hikari wasn't having a particularly good time, and it was about to get much worse.
"I want to tell you something, Takeru," Hikari said, trying to grab his attention. Takeru was looking straight at her, but his mind was on Jyou's soft blue hair; his cute wireframe glasses; that beautiful, caring smile he has. "I love you Takeru."
Takeru responded in an almost automatic way, having not snapped back into reality all the way. "I love you too, Jyou."
"What?!?" That pulled him all the way back into the moment.
"I...umm, err..." Takeru could think of nothing to save his comment, or Hikari's feelings for that matter. The look on Hikari's face told you that she was crushed. Takeru's face was a giant apology. It didn't help. They both left the restaurant with that and went home.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-xTakeru's roomx-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x
"I...I have to call Jyou," Takeru said to himself for the fifteenth time. For the fifteenth time he picked up the phone. For the twelfth time he dialed the first three digits of Jyou's number. For the eighth time he dial the first seven. For the first time, Takeru dialed the last digit of Jyou's phone number.
"Hello, Kido residence, Jyou speaking."
"Hey, Jyou. It's Takeru. I need to say something to you." Takeru's voice was filled with tension.
"Hai?"
"I...I..."
"You can tell me anything, Takeru. I won't be bothered by anything you could say." This was entirely false, but since Jyou already knew what Takeru was going to say he figured it didn't matter.
"I love you, Jyou."
"I already know. You made it very clear when I ran into you today. How about you come over here tomorrow and we can talk about it."
"Great. See you tomorrow, then, Jyou," Takeru said with a feeling of great relief. The only problem now was Hikari. After what he'd done...would she even talk to him tomorrow, or ever again for that matter? Once he had worked things out with Jyou, could he and Hikari still get together? Takeru's grief over Hikari was the worst part of his ordeal.
x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-Jyou's room-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-
Hikari didn't talk to Takeru the following day at school, but it was partly because he avoided her at all opportunities. Jyou and he had walked from the school to Jyou's house.
"I'm not supposed to feel this way," Takeru said, close to tears, sitting next to Jyou on his bed.
"It's all right, Takeru. It's all right."
"No! It's not all right," Takeru yelled, beginning to cry. "I'm supposed to love Hikari! That's what's meant to happen!" At this point Takeru collapsed into Jyou's open arms, sobbing. "Me! And Hikari! We're supposed to love each other forever. That's what's right! That's what should be!"
Jyou hugged Takeru close to him. "What should be isn't important. We can't live in what should happen. We can only live in what is. There are some things that we just aren't able to choose. If it's any consolation- I love you, Takeru."
"I love you too, Jyou," Takeru said as he cried into Jyou's chest. Jyou hugged Takeru harder in response.
End.