Stuck With YOU

Chapter One

By Mrs Padfoot

Disclaimer: It's NOT mine, dammit. Don't rub it in.

**

"I'm bored," Sirius Black informed Lily Evans.

She didn't even look up.

"That's nice," she told him.

"I need something to do."

"Lovely."

"I think I'm going to turn Snape into a squirrel," he said.

"Do, and I'll give you detention every night for the rest of the year," she said sweetly, still looking at the rack of candy in front of her.

"I'd do it anyway," he told her.

She believed him.

She sighed.

"What do you want?"

"I want to play sardines," he said happily.

"That," said Lily, "has got to be the single, most stupid thing I have ever heard in my life."

"I think I'm insulted," said Sirius.

"You should be," said Lily.

"I really want to play Sardines," he said.

"Then go play Sardines," said Lily. "You have your little group to play with."

"Remus says you need four people to play Sardines," said Sirius mournfully.

"You have four people, Black," she told him. "You, Potter, Lupin, and Pettigrew. One, two, three, four."

"No we don't," moaned Sirius. "Jamesey has detention. And Remus says he won't play with only three people."

She turned to face him.

"What do you want?"

"I want you to come play Sardines with us," said Sirius happily.

"Why should I?"

"Because if you don't," he said. "I'll play with Snivellus – I think he would like being a squirrel. If you do – I won't play with our dear little friend for two whole months."

Lily sighed. She had a feeling that playing Sardines would be better than having to deal with another one of their pranks.

"Fine," she said. "What do I do?"

**

Lily held herself very still as the feet approached, hoping that no one would see her. She knew that eventually, one of them would find her.

A part of her wondered why she was here. Why wasn't she just enjoying her Hogsmeade visit like a normal student? Why was she hiding under the table in the back room of The Three Broomsticks? Why did she always get involved in these stupid little things?

Lily wondered where her life had gone so drastically wrong. Despite the fact that she was almost always in the company of one James Potter (not by her own choice, mind you), who was constantly asking her out, she still usually managed to keep some semblance of dignity.

She could only remain hidden for so long. As far as she could tell, she had been hiding here for a little over two hours. Her legs were starting to go numb, and her knees hurt. It was an experience that could only be described as hours of excruciating boredom and pain, broken up with short moments of pure terror.

She shut her eyes tightly and decided that next time Sirius Black tried to pull her into one of his stupid games because he was bored, she would kill him. Next time, she would ignore him, even if said he was going to burn down the castle if she didn't play with him. Because this was not worth it. She was ruining her Hogsmeade weekend, and all in the name of keeping Sirius Black from playing one of his stupid pranks.

She saw another pair of feet approach.

Scrunching herself in a ball, she wondered how she had ended up so paranoid.

Funny thing was, these feet seemed to be headed right for her.

They even stopped right in front of the table.

James Potter poked his head under the table.

"I thought you were in detention," whispered Lily fervently as he slid under the table.

"Oh I was," he said. "I just finished."

"I suppose you saw your dear friend Sirius and he told you to join in on the fun? Well, now that there are four of you, I'll just be going and you can take my spot – "

She started standing, but he caught her arm.

"You can't," he said. "Practically the whole school is playing now, all looking for you, not me. They'll be furious with you. You'll never live it down."

She stopped and looked at him.

"I didn't run into Sirius either," he said. "I ran into those two Ravenclaws, Stephanie Glenn and Alexandra Antman – they're playing too, now. In fact, I think Stephanie is quite taken with me – must be my legendary charm."

"Get over yourself," said Lily, rolling her eyes.

"I'm serious!"

"No, you're James," said Lily. "But how did you find me?"

"Maybe I just know you better," he grinned.

"Dammit, James! How did you do it? I've been here two hours and no one ELSE has managed to find me, and you walk off detention, find out what's going on from your little girlfriends, and then walk straight to my hiding spot! How, how, how?"

"Move over," he told her.

"Tell me how you did it first," she said.

"No. Move over. I wish you had chosen a place that was more comfortable. No wonder no one's found you yet. Who'd want to sit here for hours at a time?"

"That's what makes it a good hiding place," she informed him. "No one will look for me here."

"No kidding," he muttered.

"I don't suppose you brought anything to read."

"I came straight here," he told her.

"Exactly my point," she said. "HOW DID YOU DO IT? It galls me. You couldn't've checked anywhere else, and I have a sick feeling you knew exactly where I was as soon as you knew I was hiding."

"I did," he confirmed, "I suppose it's because I know how your mind works."

"You do NOT know how my mind works," she muttered.

"I beg to differ," he said. "I found you, didn't I? And yes, I knew where you were as soon as I heard you were the one hiding. I was just wondering if anyone else had figured it out."

"Hmmph," she muttered.

"What are we doing here, anyway?" he asked.

"Playing sardines," she said.

"Will it sound stupid if I ask what that is?"

"Yes," she said.

"Oh, screw it. What's sardines?"

She rolled her eyes.

"It's like the reverse of hide and seek. One person hides, everyone else finds them, and hides with them."

"Oh," he said. "How did you know that?"

"I used to play it with my sister when I was little," she said quietly.

"How did Padf – Sirius – know about it?"

"How the hell am I supposed to know?"

"Um, Lily?"

"What?"

"You know most of the school is playing, right?"

"Yes, I do."

"How are they all supposed to fit under this table with us?" he asked. "I don't get it."

"That's the point," she groaned. "Eventually they'll all be sprawled out across the floor around us. They probably won't all fit in the room."

He snickered, but didn't have a change to answer, as at that moment two pairs of feet, one male, and one female.

"Lock the door," said a familiar male voice, followed by a click.

Lily, looking horrified, scrambled to get out from under the table, but James caught her arm.

She glared at him, but he shook his head, putting his finger to his mouth. He pulled her close enough to whisper in his ear.

"If we get up now," he said almost inaudibly, "they'll see us."

Lily hated to admit it, but he had a point.

"On the table," said the female voice, which Lily knew, but didn't know.

Sure enough, both pairs of feet disappeared above them.

"Oh my god," said James, seconds later.

"What?" asked Lily.

He pointed at something.

"Oh my god," said Lily. "I am not old enough to be here right now."

"What?" he said. "Oh – you mean the bra?"

"Yes," whispered Lily. "I mean the ruddy BLACK LACE bra! ON THE FLOOR! What did you think?"

"I was looking at the boxers," said James helpfully.

"WHY?"

"They're – they're Sirius's!"

Lily looked at the boxers (covered with golden snitches) and then back at James.

"You're kidding," she said.

"No," he said.

"This is NOT happening," said Lily.

"It better not be," said James, "cause if it is, it means that Sirius – SIRIUS – is getting lucky before me!"

Lily gave him a disgusted look.

"Keep your voice down," she told him.

"Oh, woe is me," said James mournfully.

Above them, the table shook violently. A shoe hit the ground with a thud.

"I am undone," said James.

"Shut UP!" moaned Lily.

James looked at her and did.

"Say, Lily," he said. "Do you wanna help me beat Sirius – I mean, not technically, but seem like we did it at the same time?"

"Not particularly," said Lily.

"Damn," said James.

A few seconds passed.

Then James snorted.

Lily looked at him as if he were nuts.

Tears were rolling from his eyes, and he was shaking.

He was trying not to laugh.

Quickly, Lily slapped her hand over his mouth.

"Don't you DARE," she yelped quietly.

"I can't help it," he said. "It's just too weird."

"This is NOT funny," she informed him.

"Yes it is," said James, snickering. "Oh, hell, yes it is."

His whole body was shaking, and she was trying to keep him under control.

Someone knocked on the door.

"Damn," said Sirius audibly.

"Luckily, we didn't get to the good stuff," said the female voice.

"I dunno," said Sirius. "I was enjoying the stuff we were doing pretty well myself."

"James!" said Lily in an urgent whisper, "her robe!"

James looked around and saw what Lily meant – the girl's robe was partway under the table. He shoved it away just before her hand reached down to grab it.

A few more seconds passed, and two pairs of feet hit the floor, heading for the door, which opened.

James poked his head out from under the table. Lily tried to grab him back, but before she could, he was back under the table.

"It's her – one of those two Ravenclaws I talked to."

"THERE you are, Alex," said another female voice. "I couldn't find you. Where were you?"

"Oh," said the first female voice (presumably Alex). "Sirius thought he knew where Lily might be – but well, he was wrong. They're not in here."

Lily let out a quiet giggle.

Alexandra and Sirius exited with Stephanie, and the door shut behind them.

James jumped out from the under the table.

"Where are you going?" asked Lily.

"We have to find another hiding place," said James.

"No we don't," said Lily. "They'll never look for us here NOW."

"Yes," said James. "But someone will eventually find us, and then word will get out that we were here when THEY were here and then – well, Sirius and that Ravenclaw will kill us and chop is into eensy weensy pieces."

"Oh my god," said Lily. "You're right."

"We are finding another hiding place," said James, heading for the exit. "NOW."