SECRET KEEPER
CHAPTER ONE
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"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives... The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies..."
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October 24, 1981
"Voldemort? After you? Why?" Sirius' voice sounded unnaturally sharp as he gazed across the table at his best friend. "Why would he be after you?"
Sirius, James, Lily, and baby Harry were all sitting around the kitchen table at the Potters' house in Godric's Hollow. Sirius Black, the only one present who was not a resident at the house, sat across from the others, his tall, lean frame resting awkwardly in a stiff wooden chair, his legs sprawled out in front of him. James and Lily Potter sat on the other side of the table, with Harry playing contently in his mother's lap. The atmosphere in the room was tense, stiff, as Sirius' question lingered unanswered in the air.
James sighed. "Some prophecy, I think. Something about someone having the power to defeat the Dark Lord being born as July dies... at least that's what Dumbledore told us."
"What?" asked Sirius incredulously. "Voldemort thinks that Harry is going to bring his downfall? As in one-year-old Harry who is sitting here sucking his thumb?!"
James nodded tersely, his hazel eyes meeting Sirius' blue-gray ones.
"So? What are you two going to do? It'll be quite hard to hide from him, especially with Harry with you." Sirius glanced anxiously at his young godson, who was still resting serenely in Lily's lap, unaware of the tense conversation between the three adults in the room.
This time, Lily replied. "Dumbledore says it's best if we use the Fidelius Charm. Ever hear of it, Sirius?"
Sirius seemed to ponder his answer as he leaned further back into his chair. "Hmm... vaguely, I think. I remember something about concealing a secret inside a soul, something like that." He peered at Lily and James, his eyes wide with concern and nose scrunched in anxiety. "How is that going to help you?"
"Dumbledore wants us to go into hiding," Lily explained, looking as if she were willing the calm expression onto her face. "He suggested that we use the Fidelius Charm in order to prevent Voldemort from finding us. If we choose a Secret-Keeper, and conceal the secret of our location inside him, then Voldemort will never be able to find us—"
"Wait! How is that going to work?" Sirius looked slightly lost, though his sharp eyes looked intensely calculating. James didn't blame him at all.
"We'll use the charm to conceal our location, specifically this house. No one except us, and whomever the Secret-Keeper tells, will be able to see the house or sense its presence—that way, we'll be safe here."
"And there's no way Voldemort will be able to find you?" asked Sirius, the apprehension apparent in the uneasy tautness of his voice and the rigidity of his normally relaxed features.
"The only way anyone will find us is if the Secret-Keeper tells him personally or writes it in a note—which is why it needs to be someone we trust," James said firmly.
"I'll do it then!" Sirius volunteered automatically, as if that settled the matter.
James and Lily glanced at each other.
"Sirius, we were advised specifically not to choose you," Lily said tersely, the clipped tone of her words suggesting that she would have liked to say as little as possible on the subject.
"And why is that?" Sirius countered sharply. "You know I'd never—"
"It's not that," James amended quickly before any offense could be taken at the remarks exchanged. "It's just that, well, you're too obvious, you know? If word gets out that we used the Fidelius Charm, the first person they'll come looking for is you, and—"
"And what makes you think I'd tell them if they found me?" Sirius' eyes had begun to narrow dangerously—James did not miss the ominous flashing of the piercing blue-gray irises.
"Will you let me finish?" James said hotly. "The point is, making you Secret-Keeper will put your life in danger, and if Voldemort develops a certain fondness for Veritaserum, well, there's not much you can do."
"Well, what other alternatives are there?" Sirius asked levelly, sounding as if he were forcibly smoothing his voice into a flat, deceptively even consistency.
"Dumbledore offered to do it for us," explained Lily, "but I don't like that idea much myself. I wouldn't like for us to be a burden to him, we all know how busy he is."
"Yes, yes," Sirius agreed. He closed his eyes pensively, as if the light in the room were disruptive to his thought processes. A few seconds later, and the black-lashed lids flew open again. "I know! You can perform the Fidelius Charm with Peter as your Secret-Keeper! It's perfect! Then Voldemort will try to find me, you see, he would never guess that it was Peter, and even if he does use Veritaserum, he won't be able to get anything useful out of me!"
Logic fought instinct at a subconscious level in James' mind, and won. He was about to voice his agreement on the subject, when—
"Sirius, I don't think that's a good idea," Lily insisted darkly. "Dumbledore's sure that someone close to us is being a spy. We have absolutely no idea who it is, we can't trust anyone, except probably you."
"You mean to say you think Peter's a Death Eater?" James yelped incredulously, his hand flying intuitively to his hair again. "That's ridiculous!"
"Well, it's certainly got to be somebody, and Lily's right, we can't take chances," Sirius cautioned the couple, shifting his weight and propping his elbows onto the table before him. "I dunno about Peter though... I thought, perhaps... I noticed... Remus..." He looked uneasy, as if the statement had stiffened and died in his chest.
A frown creased the edges of Lily's face in a look that was all too familiar to her husband. "I really don't think—"
But James interrupted her. "We are not here to argue over who is and isn't a Death Eater," he reminded them, trying to iron out the tenser creases of conversation. "The question now is, what do we do?"
"I don't really see many options for you two," said Sirius, chewing his lower lip contemplatively, "except for letting me be your Secret-Keeper. I know, I know," he added hastily, noticing the scrunch of disapproval on Lily's face, "but there doesn't seem to be any other way out, is there? No one to trust nowadays."
James turned the notion over in his head. Sirius was right, there was no other way, but he couldn't bring himself to willingly put someone in this much danger, especially his best friend of nearly ten years. Lily seemed to be thinking along the same lines. Husband and wife exchanged glances, both looking apprehensive. Was this really a good idea?
The internal fear and reluctance seemed to be congregating in the back of James' throat as he opened and closed his mouth, trying to draw the appropriate words out. He ran a hand through his messy black hair. "I don't want you to do this for us, Padfoot, not because we don't trust you, but because it wouldn't be fair to you if you got killed just because Voldemort wants us to die," he said darkly, a kind of uncomfortable prickly heat tingling on the back of his neck and spine. He thought he felt the contents of his stomach shift.
"But that's exactly the point." The fixed coolness in Sirius' usually light-hearted voice was unsettling, his forthcoming gaze burning into James intensely, eyes never leaving the other man's face. "That is exactly the point of having a Secret-Keeper, James. I am willing to do this for you—I can do this for you."
"You are not going to sacrifice yourself for me, Sirius! You can't give up your life, I'm not worth that, I—"
"You're not worth that? What about Lily? What about Harry? Don't you think they're worth it? Don't you think they deserve to have a chance to live, too, James? Doesn't your son deserve to grow up with his mother and his father?" Sirius' pale face was flushed with the passion of his words, his high cheekbones looking more prominent than ever, giving the black-haired man an acutely disheveled look that James imagined would be quite frightening to those who did not know him well.
Lily and James exchanged another worried glance. The air around their heads hung heavy with taut fear, fear that none of the three wanted to acknowledge, but was easily apparent in each word that was nervously spoken.
"You are aware of the implications of this, aren't you, Sirius?" Lily asked, her voice dragging slowly. "You would basically be ruining all chances at a social life, you'd have to go into hiding, cut off contact with almost everyone, you wouldn't be able to go out in public at all—"
"I am perfectly aware of the implications, Lily," Sirius breathed steadily, sitting up straighter in his chair and sweeping away the black bangs that were covering his blue eyes. "And as for going out—weren't you the one who told me that I'm a public health hazard?"
James saw the familiar tugging at the corner of his wife's mouth that happened whenever she tried not to smile but just couldn't resist. "Since when have you listened to anything I say, Sirius?" she asked wryly.
"I've always listened to everything you say—I just never acted upon it." Sirius gave a rakish grin, his blue-gray eyes twinkling with an air of levity. Then, the cheerful expression melting off his face, he turned to face James again.
"Well, Prongs? What do you say?" Sirius' voice was unfaltering, but James thought he could discern a slight waver in the depths of the other man's eyes.
He hesitated for a moment, drawing in a sharp breath to buy himself a few seconds before responding. "Okay, mate, seeing as there's really no other way to go… We'll inform Dumbledore of our decision later today." As he spoke, he squeezed his wife's hand as if the contact would somehow add a layer of reassurance behind his words.
Sirius smiled back, but the coldness of his ashen face and the lines etched around worried blue eyes told James that his friend's visage was really much more of a grimace. "Yeah, no problem then. We'll perform the charm tomorrow, once Dumbledore agrees."
Lily pursed her lips, the skin around her mouth drawing in. "I can't see him being too happy about this, but he—he'll understand."
Sirius and James nodded, facing each other from across the table but not making direct eye contact.
"And Sirius?" Lily's emerald green eyes glistened with unshed tears, and her pale freckled face glowed with emotion.
"Yes, Lily?" This was really less of a question and more of an invitation to speak freely without regards to the social barriers that so stringently ruled the lives of many.
"Thank you. Thank you so much for agreeing to do this for us. Thank you so much—"
"No need, Lily, it's okay," Sirius interjected smoothly. "Anything for the two of you."
Lily still looked teary-eyed. James hesitated for a moment, and then, abandoning all pretenses of superficial etiquette, walked over to where his best friend was standing and pulled the other man into a bear hug.
"Thanks, Sirius," he whispered fiercely. "Thanks for everything..."
Albus Dumbledore glanced down his half-moon spectacles at the young man sitting in the chair in front of his desk. The man was young, looking to be about in his late teens or early twenties, and was tall and lean, with slightly tanned skin and an athletic built that only came from years of strenuous physical activity. His hair was jet-black and messy, sticking up in the back as if to make a contrary statement, and his eyes were hazel, their gaze intense as they stared back at the Hogwarts headmaster.
"James," Dumbledore said slowly, lowering his hands in front of him. "You are sure you want to go through with this?"
James nodded firmly. "We've already spoken to Sirius, and all of us feel that he's the best person for the job."
Dumbledore surveyed James for a few seconds before speaking. The old man's bright blue eyes, usually shining with mirth and amusement, were serious now. "James," he repeated gently. "I know that Sirius is your best friend and that you trust him, but do you really think it's wise to let him be your Secret-Keeper? My offer to help you still stands; I'd feel a lot safer knowing I was your Secret-Keeper."
"Lily and I can't do that to you, Professor," James said quietly. "We can't give you that burden—and besides, I would trust Sirius with my life—I am trusting Sirius with my life. I know he would rather die than betray us; he said so himself."
The older man sighed in resignation. "I know you trust Sirius with your life, James. But you must bear in mind that he could be forced to tell that which he does not want to tell—if he is captured by Voldemort, he will not be treated kindly. He will most likely be tortured for information; he would be forced to reveal your whereabouts, and then they would kill him once they were done. And then Voldemort will come after you. Think about it, James."
James deliberated this slowly, his features arranging into an expression of discomfort, and then fear, guilt, and then doubt? It was hard to tell. Finally, the younger man spoke, his voice carefully cleared of emotion.
"Do we really have a choice, Professor? It seems to me that no matter how we look at it, there is always the risk of our Secret-Keeper being tortured for information—and there's no one I trust more than Sirius to hold out under pressure, if they can even find him." James fidgeted apprehensively, glancing at the headmaster in an unspoken request for approval.
"The decision is yours, James." Dumbledore's voice was grave and quiet.
A long silence followed this solemn statement. James Potter appeared to grow more and more uncomfortable in his wooden armchair. His hand was subconsciously running through the messy hair at the back of his head as he sucked on his lower lip, lost in pensive thought. Finally, he spoke, his voice nervous. "Sirius did have another idea..."
"Oh?" Professor Dumbledore's eyebrows arched slightly.
"Yeah... Sirius said it might be better if we used Peter as our Secret-Keeper but didn't tell anyone... that way, no one would suspect who our Secret-Keeper really was, and Sirius wouldn't be able to reveal any information even if he was captured by Voldemort. It would be a... a bluff, sort of."
"That was Sirius' suggestion?"
James nodded, swallowing nervously. "Yes, but I didn't think it would be a good idea, and neither did Lily." He paused slightly. "What do you think about it, Professor Dumbledore?"
Dumbledore looked thoughtfully pensive as he gave his answer. "I think you are right," the headmaster said slowly, looking at his formal pupil carefully. "Sirius' intentions are good and his ideas are clever... but right now, you are safest with the simplest, most reliable of solutions."
"I suppose so," James conceded. He was silent for a moment. "We'll just go with the original plan, then."
"Sirius will be your Secret-Keeper?" The Hogwarts headmaster struggled to erase the expression of disapproval from his features.
James nodded affirmatively. "I can't think of anyone whom I would rather have do this for us than him, Professor."
"Very well, then," Professor Dumbledore said, his voice containing the faintest trace of a sigh. "You and Sirius should come to my office tomorrow at around three o'clock... I shall show you how to activate the Fidelius charm, and there are a few things I should like to discuss with Sirius was well..."
"We'll be there," James said assuredly.
*
"I think I'd prefer it if you didn't give orders here, Snape. It's my house, you see."—Sirius Black, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Scholastic Edition, pg. 518