Title: Take A Look Around
Rating: PG-13 ish?
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, as sad as that is... so plz don't sue me!
Summary: In my fantasy world, this is how I see Tristan and Rory at Chilton for their last year... take into consideration that all of my stories are alternate realities and I'm all about the troryness... Also keep in mind that in this story, Tristan never got sent away... there is no Dean... Jess is just a friend, and Loralei and Luke aren't blind.
A/N: Thank you for all of your reviews to my past stories... although I've had a few bad reviews, most of you are rather loyal to me and that means the world to me. I'm sorry I haven't been updating my earlier stories, but I'm having writers' block so I keep writing new stories... I'm sorry! If you have any ideas on what I could do for... 'Show Me Your World', 'Good Girl, Bad Girls, Tristan's Girl', and 'Something There That Wasn't There Before' plz email me! [email protected] or iM me on my aim screenname... UoYsVuLeIcLeK. Thanks!
Also, this chapter is going to be sooooo confusing and it's all over the place, and I apologize immensely for that. If you're confused and want me to answer a question or concern you're having focusing on the story, review, im me, or email me and I'll be sure to help you understand a little better... thank you!
Chapter One:
Tristan DuGrey was leaning against his locker watching her from across the hall. The way her hair fell in her eyes, the way her smile lit up the entire room, how she balanced everything on one knee, and how she was downing a steamy cup of coffee mesmerized him. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, and this year, Tristan was determined to make Rory his.
Walking up to her, Tristan situated himself on the locker next to her, leaning against it sideways with his arms crossed.
"Good morning Mary." Tristan said, somewhat dazed, staring into her piercing blue eyes.
Since the end of sophomore year, Rory and Tristan had formed a close friendship. Tristan had met Loralei on several occasions, had become rather close with Jess, Luke approved of him, and her grandparents adored him. Rory had also met Tristan's parents, who surprisingly enough loved her, had been welcome into Tristan's group of guy friends, who all vowed to protect her from the bitchy girls at Chilton, and had met Tristan's grandfather, Janlan, who absolutely could not get enough of Rory.
Flashing Tristan a dazzling smile, "Good morning Bible boy." Rory said, shutting her locker and finishing off her coffee.
Tristan's breathing increased rapidly just by Rory's small gesture of smiling at him. It never ceased to amaze him how crazy this girl drove him. Being friends for over a year with Rory was hard. Her family and friends were amazing, but what was even more amazing was how oblivious Rory could be. Tristan had tried everything to get it through Rory's head that he was in love with her... but nothing worked. At times Tristan thought that maybe Rory felt the same... Like when they were at a movie, she'd rest her head on his shoulder and he'd wrap his arm around her shoulders. When they walked around Stars Hollow or Hartford Mall, they'd hold hands or Tristan would wrap an arm around Rory's waist. Or at movie nights at one of their homes, Rory would curl up against him... Yes, the more he thought about that maybe Rory wasn't as oblivious as he was beginning to believe.
Casually wrapping his arm around Rory's waist, he began to lead her to their first class, Journalism 2. Glaring at the boys who were obviously checking Rory out, Tristan tightened his arm around her waist. Everyone at Chilton knew Rory was off limits. The few that dared to cross Tristan and ask Rory out knew they'd get a beating, but they did it anyway.
Throwing Tristan a quizzical glance, Rory whispered, "What's wrong?" As she noticed his brooding features and took note of how he tightened his hold on her.
Tristan shook his head and released his hold on her as they reached the door to their classroom. Bending down to kiss her forehead, he whispered in her ear. "Just that all these guys don't get that you belong to me." Tristan said hoarsely, causing Rory's beautiful features to scrunch in confusion.
Although many people thought Rory was oblivious, she knew there was something more brewing between Tristan and herself than just friendship. Many times she just wished Tristan would come out and say something... but she knew Tristan was afraid. Other times Rory wished she would just be bold and tell him... she hoped he knew that she felt the same, but she couldn't seem to form in words.
Being bold, Rory kissed his cheek and whispered into his ear. "It's okay... they don't stand a chance. I know I belong to you."
Ducking her head feeling a blush creep onto her cheeks, she allowed her hair to fall in her face as she sat down in the seat in front of Tristan.
This time it was Tristan's turn to be shocked. Staring at the back of Rory's head, he couldn't help but let a genuine smile cross his handsome features. 'Did Rory just say what I think she said?' He asked himself, afraid to actually think of the possibilities that Loralei Leigh Gilmore was actually beginning to feel the same for him... doing a happy dance in his head, he couldn't wipe the beautiful smile off of his face.
Blushing furiously, Rory mentally slapped herself. 'I can't believe you did that! Why'd you have to be spontaneous today... ahhhh now he knows how I feel!' Rory thought silently to herself, too afraid to turn around to look at Tristan.
Finally getting enough courage, Tristan leaned forward and began to play with Rory's hair. Rory jumped a little at the sudden sparks that were running through her veins. Turning around, Rory got lost in the blue eyes that was staring back at her.
"Did you mean it?" Tristan asked quietly, not wanting to get caught for talking while the teacher was teaching. Pleading Rory with his eyes to say yes, he didn't break eye contact.
Staring into Tristan's eyes, she couldn't form words. Drowning in his blue pools that were called eyes, Rory couldn't find her voice. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Rory asked, "Did I mean what?" just as quietly.
Just as Tristan was about to answer, the bell rang, signaling the end of their first class. Silently cursing, Tristan stood up, pulling Rory up with him as well.
As if a reflex, Tristan rested his left hand on her left hip from behind. Instantly, Rory leaned backwards into Tristan as he led her down the hall. Leading her to his locker to drop off his books, Rory leaned against the one next to his, who belonged to Jarett Bridges, one of their close friends.
After Tristan placed his books in his locker, he took out his letterman and handed it to Rory. It was all part of their routine. Their first hour class was usually burning up; Rory's second hour and their third hour was always freezing. So for the next two hours, Rory would wear Tristan's football letterman. Tristan often left his class ring in there and would find Rory wearing it when he met her outside of her 2nd hour classroom.
After Rory put on his jacket, Tristan again wrapped his arm around her waist and led her down the hallway. Stopping outside of her next classroom, Tristan looked her in the eyes.
"You never answered my question." He said quietly. Staring into Rory's deep, blue eyes, he felt like he was suffocating. 'How can this one girl paralyze all of me with just a glance into her eyes?' Tristan wondered silently to himself, unconsciously tucking a piece of loose hair behind Rory's ear.
"What question would that be, Tristan?" Rory asked, not breaking eye contact as she slightly tilted her head. Biting her lip nervously, she began to yell at herself mentally.
"Are you mine?" He asked, stepping closer to her.
Rory's pulse began to race, her head began to spin, and her vision blurred. The way those three small words rolled off Tristan's tongue to form a question made her heart drop into her stomach and be swarmed by butterflies. She desperately wanted to scream 'yes' at him, but she couldn't help the doubt in the back of her mind. Tristan Janlan DuGrey was the King of Chilton. He was rich, gorgeous, captain of the varsity football team, and could have anyone in the school he wanted with a snap of his fingers. Sure, he had matured a great deal since sophomore year... god had he matured. He had stopped with the flavors of the week... in fact he stopped dating entirely. Well, to Rory he did... to Tristan he had been dating Rory since she agreed to go to the PJ Harvey concert with him after Dean and Rory's big break up.
Biting her tongue, Rory ducked out of Tristan's arms and stepped into the doorway. Ever so quietly, Rory murmured two words that cut Tristan as deep as any knife... "I can't."
Glancing quickly at his face, Rory's heart broke at the pain etched on Tristan's face. Nodding his head slowly, Tristan fought the tears that began to form in his eyes. Hoping Rory hadn't seen them, he quickly turned and walked numbly to his class. However, Tristan was too late, and Rory had in fact seen the river forming in Tristan's pools of blue.
Watching Tristan cry brought tears to Rory's own eyes as she sat paralyzed in her 2nd hour class. She hadn't answered a single question, hadn't written down a word the teacher had said, and couldn't get the image of Tristan's tear filled eyes out of her head.
After class was over, Rory's own eyes began to fill with tears when she realized Tristan wasn't waiting for her. Taking off his jacket and slipping his class ring under her sweater, she slowly made her way to their classroom. Slowly dropping his jacket on the desk Tristan was now occupying, she made her seat to the back of the classroom in the far corner, as far away from Tristan and the boys as she could get.
That class seemed to drag on that day. Tristan hadn't glanced back at her once, although she could tell by the way the vane in his neck was popping out that he had been fighting the urge to do just that. Rory had pulled a Tristan that day, however, not being able to tear her eyes off of the back of Tristan's head. She desperately wished she could take those painful words back.
Tristan laughed with his friends like he would every day, but he couldn't stop the powerful breaking of his heart that he felt in his chest. When Rory laid his jacket on his desk without a word, he could see the tears forming in her eyes. Tristan knew Rory at least wanted to be his, but she doesn't be with him. Not the way he wanted her to be with him. He didn't understand. He had loved her since sophomore year and he knew deep down she was in love with him, too. It was in her eyes, in her smile, everything about her screaming that she loved him. And now she couldn't be with him? Shaking his head clear of all thoughts, he made his way to lunch.
Sitting down at his table, he was rather surprised when Rory didn't come and sit with them. She had been sitting with them since the first day of junior year when Tristan practically dragged her to the table kicking and screaming. Looking behind him, he realized Rory had returned to her own table, sitting by herself, book opened, headphones on, and soda in hand.
Sitting down next to Tristan, Josh Waters looked confused. "Why is Ror over there?" He asked, not knowing what had happened between the two of them.
Josh, like many others, new Tristan's feelings towards Rory. He made it clear when he practically tore off the heads of anyone of the opposite sex who tried to talk to her.
Pushing his chair back, Tristan mumbled about not wanting to talk about it and walked over to where Rory was seated.
Rory could feel people staring at her and if she hadn't had headphones on, she was sure she'd hear them whispering all around her. She knew they were shocked that she wasn't seated with Tristan and 9 of the other most popular boys at Chilton. She knew they were even more shocked that Tristan was ALLOWING it.
Rory knew Tristan was heading her way. She could feel his eyes burning into her skull, She could tell by the way that she didn't feel 600 eyes on her, because they had all averted their attention to watch Tristan's every move.
Sitting down next to Rory, he instinctively took a drink of the Wild Cherry Pepsi that she had been holding in her hand. Downing half of her soda, Tristan took off Rory's headphones and turned her around to face him.
"Rory... what are you doing over here? By yourself?" Tristan asked her quietly, staring into her eyes questioningly.
Staring back into his eyes, trying to stay strong, Rory shrugged, "The same reason you didn't walk me to 3rd hour."
Breaking eye contact, Tristan found the ground very interesting. "Rory... why can't we be together?"
Tristan had asked so quietly that Rory almost didn't hear it. Tears began to form in Rory's eyes as she shook her head, trying to rid her head of her conscious telling her to jump into Tristan's arms and kiss him senseless.
"We would never work, Tristan. I wish we could, but I don't see how it would." Rory said. Leaning down to kiss him on the cheek, she whispered "I love you" into his ear, grabbed her stuff, and made her way out of the cafeteria, feeling everyone's eyes on her. Everyone's eyes, except for Tristan.
Tristan just sat there, his heart breaking once more that day. The first time it had broken in large pieces... this time, it was shattering. Rory had finally said those 3 words he had waited almost 2 years to hear... and she won't let them give it a shot?! Earlier that day, the first thought on Tristan's mind was that Rory would be his. He never imagined that he was going to come close to achieving his ultimate goal.
Everyday that was Tristan's first thought. What made today different? What made today the day Rory had to admit her feelings? What made today the day Rory chose to say, "I love you," What made today the day that Tristan DuGrey's heart would finally break after 17 years of never coming close. One more thought popped into Tristan's head... what made today the day he wasn't chasing after her?
The moment the question popped into his head, he tried to move, but for some reason, his feet weren't moving. Looking down questioningly, he saw his name on the front of a letter in Rory's beautiful handwriting.
Sitting back down, Tristan bent down to pick up the letter. Opening it carefully, he began to read...
Dear Tristan,
I'm sorry. I know that as you're reading this, you're asking yourself why you aren't chasing after me. Why you're sitting here reading this letter instead of following me to our spot in the library that no one ever noticed. Well... I have the answers for you...
You're reading this letter because you realized something today. You realized that even Tristan DuGrey's heart is breakable and you're in so much pain you can't move... Tristan, I saw you cry today. I've never seen you cry. I've seen you so numb you couldn't move... so angry your vanes popped out... so sad that your body shook... but I've never seen you cry. I'm not sure if it's because you were taught to never cry... or if it's because nothing has ever happened worth crying over in your mind... but I made you cry. I hurt you by two simple words... and I know that you're probably fighting with the tears that are forming in your eyes after I said 3 simple words to you. I don't want to have that much power over you Tristan... I don't want to hurt you.
You have grown so much in the past year and I am so proud of you, Tristan. You have grown into a wonderful being that I'm proud to be your best friend, and sweet heart, I'd be proud to be your girlfriend... But I can't. I can't be your girlfriend, because I can't handle the pressure. Do you know how hard we'd have to work to be together? Tristan, it'd tear us apart... by the time we finally got it right, there'd be nothing worth defending anymore.
I love you so much, you have no idea. You're probably shaking your head at this letter thinking that there is no way that I love you as much as you love me... but I do Tristan. God, I love you so much. But we need time apart. We're so dependent upon one another, we're forgetting what we can be apart.
I know how much this is hurting you, believe me, I do, because it's hurting me just as badly. I wish I could be everything for you... but I'm not ready. Please... just... move on, Tristan. There are so many girls who are worth your time... I'm just a small town girl, Tristan; I can't give you anything. You deserve so much more than you think...
At the bottom of the envelope is my class ring... wear it close to your heart. And don't ever take it off. I'll be wearing yours just the same...
Forever Yours,
Your Mary... I'll seal it with a kiss.
Tristan got up from his seat and ran out of the cafeteria... down the hall. Not stopping, not even breathing, until he got to the library. Running to the far end of the library and ducking behind the very last bookshelf, Tristan sat down next to Rory, tears freely falling from both of their faces.
"I begged you not to come..." Rory said hoarsely, her voice weak.
"I begged you never to leave me," Tristan said into Rory's ear, breathing on her neck.
Shaking her head slowly, Rory turned to face Tristan. "Tristan, I meant every word in my letter... we need time apart."
Tristan wiped the tears away from Rory's face with his thumb, "How can we need time apart? We've never been together... Rory, I need you and I know you need me just as badly..." Tristan whispered, forcing the tears to stop.
"Tristan, I can't be with you... do you know how hard it'd be? No one would except it..." Rory said, unconsciously moving closer to Tristan, her head dropping against his chest.
Running his fingers through Rory's hair, Tristan wrapped his free arm around her waist. "Rory... I'm not giving up. I love you. Please..." Tristan had to stop mid sentence, trying desperately to stop the sob that wanted to escape his lips.
However, Tristan hadn't succeeded, and his whole body began to shake with sobs. Looking up, Rory's eyes reflected Tristan's pain. Wrapping her arms around Tristan's neck, Tristan buried his head in Rory's neck, letting go emotionally. Tightening his arms around Rory's waist, Tristan's sobs became more frequent.
Running her hands through Tristan's hair, Rory began to rock him slowly. "Shhh, Tristan... it'll be okay." Rory repeatedly cooed into his ear.
When Tristan lifted his head from Rory's shoulder, their faces were mere millimeters from one another. Rory's heart began to pound in her chest as her breath was caught in her throat. Tristan's pulse began to race as they both began to lean forward...
Meeting one another half way, Tristan and Rory's lips connected for the first time since Madeline's party sophomore year. The kiss was slow and meaningful, full of promise.
After what seemed like an eternity, Rory was the first to pull away. When she was about to tell Tristan she'd be his girlfriend, Rory looked past Tristan's shoulder and saw someone from her past....
"Jess..." She said silently.
Author's Note... So what did you all think? I know it's completely confusing and probably extremely hard to follow... but I've been writing this chapter for the past 3 days. I'm not sure where I'm going with this... and I'm not sure if I'm going to make this is a Trory or not... I suppose you guys should vote... Lit or Trory? Let me know! If you choose to make this a Lit. it'd be the first one I've written... keep that in mind!
Rating: PG-13 ish?
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, as sad as that is... so plz don't sue me!
Summary: In my fantasy world, this is how I see Tristan and Rory at Chilton for their last year... take into consideration that all of my stories are alternate realities and I'm all about the troryness... Also keep in mind that in this story, Tristan never got sent away... there is no Dean... Jess is just a friend, and Loralei and Luke aren't blind.
A/N: Thank you for all of your reviews to my past stories... although I've had a few bad reviews, most of you are rather loyal to me and that means the world to me. I'm sorry I haven't been updating my earlier stories, but I'm having writers' block so I keep writing new stories... I'm sorry! If you have any ideas on what I could do for... 'Show Me Your World', 'Good Girl, Bad Girls, Tristan's Girl', and 'Something There That Wasn't There Before' plz email me! [email protected] or iM me on my aim screenname... UoYsVuLeIcLeK. Thanks!
Also, this chapter is going to be sooooo confusing and it's all over the place, and I apologize immensely for that. If you're confused and want me to answer a question or concern you're having focusing on the story, review, im me, or email me and I'll be sure to help you understand a little better... thank you!
Chapter One:
Tristan DuGrey was leaning against his locker watching her from across the hall. The way her hair fell in her eyes, the way her smile lit up the entire room, how she balanced everything on one knee, and how she was downing a steamy cup of coffee mesmerized him. She was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen, and this year, Tristan was determined to make Rory his.
Walking up to her, Tristan situated himself on the locker next to her, leaning against it sideways with his arms crossed.
"Good morning Mary." Tristan said, somewhat dazed, staring into her piercing blue eyes.
Since the end of sophomore year, Rory and Tristan had formed a close friendship. Tristan had met Loralei on several occasions, had become rather close with Jess, Luke approved of him, and her grandparents adored him. Rory had also met Tristan's parents, who surprisingly enough loved her, had been welcome into Tristan's group of guy friends, who all vowed to protect her from the bitchy girls at Chilton, and had met Tristan's grandfather, Janlan, who absolutely could not get enough of Rory.
Flashing Tristan a dazzling smile, "Good morning Bible boy." Rory said, shutting her locker and finishing off her coffee.
Tristan's breathing increased rapidly just by Rory's small gesture of smiling at him. It never ceased to amaze him how crazy this girl drove him. Being friends for over a year with Rory was hard. Her family and friends were amazing, but what was even more amazing was how oblivious Rory could be. Tristan had tried everything to get it through Rory's head that he was in love with her... but nothing worked. At times Tristan thought that maybe Rory felt the same... Like when they were at a movie, she'd rest her head on his shoulder and he'd wrap his arm around her shoulders. When they walked around Stars Hollow or Hartford Mall, they'd hold hands or Tristan would wrap an arm around Rory's waist. Or at movie nights at one of their homes, Rory would curl up against him... Yes, the more he thought about that maybe Rory wasn't as oblivious as he was beginning to believe.
Casually wrapping his arm around Rory's waist, he began to lead her to their first class, Journalism 2. Glaring at the boys who were obviously checking Rory out, Tristan tightened his arm around her waist. Everyone at Chilton knew Rory was off limits. The few that dared to cross Tristan and ask Rory out knew they'd get a beating, but they did it anyway.
Throwing Tristan a quizzical glance, Rory whispered, "What's wrong?" As she noticed his brooding features and took note of how he tightened his hold on her.
Tristan shook his head and released his hold on her as they reached the door to their classroom. Bending down to kiss her forehead, he whispered in her ear. "Just that all these guys don't get that you belong to me." Tristan said hoarsely, causing Rory's beautiful features to scrunch in confusion.
Although many people thought Rory was oblivious, she knew there was something more brewing between Tristan and herself than just friendship. Many times she just wished Tristan would come out and say something... but she knew Tristan was afraid. Other times Rory wished she would just be bold and tell him... she hoped he knew that she felt the same, but she couldn't seem to form in words.
Being bold, Rory kissed his cheek and whispered into his ear. "It's okay... they don't stand a chance. I know I belong to you."
Ducking her head feeling a blush creep onto her cheeks, she allowed her hair to fall in her face as she sat down in the seat in front of Tristan.
This time it was Tristan's turn to be shocked. Staring at the back of Rory's head, he couldn't help but let a genuine smile cross his handsome features. 'Did Rory just say what I think she said?' He asked himself, afraid to actually think of the possibilities that Loralei Leigh Gilmore was actually beginning to feel the same for him... doing a happy dance in his head, he couldn't wipe the beautiful smile off of his face.
Blushing furiously, Rory mentally slapped herself. 'I can't believe you did that! Why'd you have to be spontaneous today... ahhhh now he knows how I feel!' Rory thought silently to herself, too afraid to turn around to look at Tristan.
Finally getting enough courage, Tristan leaned forward and began to play with Rory's hair. Rory jumped a little at the sudden sparks that were running through her veins. Turning around, Rory got lost in the blue eyes that was staring back at her.
"Did you mean it?" Tristan asked quietly, not wanting to get caught for talking while the teacher was teaching. Pleading Rory with his eyes to say yes, he didn't break eye contact.
Staring into Tristan's eyes, she couldn't form words. Drowning in his blue pools that were called eyes, Rory couldn't find her voice. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Rory asked, "Did I mean what?" just as quietly.
Just as Tristan was about to answer, the bell rang, signaling the end of their first class. Silently cursing, Tristan stood up, pulling Rory up with him as well.
As if a reflex, Tristan rested his left hand on her left hip from behind. Instantly, Rory leaned backwards into Tristan as he led her down the hall. Leading her to his locker to drop off his books, Rory leaned against the one next to his, who belonged to Jarett Bridges, one of their close friends.
After Tristan placed his books in his locker, he took out his letterman and handed it to Rory. It was all part of their routine. Their first hour class was usually burning up; Rory's second hour and their third hour was always freezing. So for the next two hours, Rory would wear Tristan's football letterman. Tristan often left his class ring in there and would find Rory wearing it when he met her outside of her 2nd hour classroom.
After Rory put on his jacket, Tristan again wrapped his arm around her waist and led her down the hallway. Stopping outside of her next classroom, Tristan looked her in the eyes.
"You never answered my question." He said quietly. Staring into Rory's deep, blue eyes, he felt like he was suffocating. 'How can this one girl paralyze all of me with just a glance into her eyes?' Tristan wondered silently to himself, unconsciously tucking a piece of loose hair behind Rory's ear.
"What question would that be, Tristan?" Rory asked, not breaking eye contact as she slightly tilted her head. Biting her lip nervously, she began to yell at herself mentally.
"Are you mine?" He asked, stepping closer to her.
Rory's pulse began to race, her head began to spin, and her vision blurred. The way those three small words rolled off Tristan's tongue to form a question made her heart drop into her stomach and be swarmed by butterflies. She desperately wanted to scream 'yes' at him, but she couldn't help the doubt in the back of her mind. Tristan Janlan DuGrey was the King of Chilton. He was rich, gorgeous, captain of the varsity football team, and could have anyone in the school he wanted with a snap of his fingers. Sure, he had matured a great deal since sophomore year... god had he matured. He had stopped with the flavors of the week... in fact he stopped dating entirely. Well, to Rory he did... to Tristan he had been dating Rory since she agreed to go to the PJ Harvey concert with him after Dean and Rory's big break up.
Biting her tongue, Rory ducked out of Tristan's arms and stepped into the doorway. Ever so quietly, Rory murmured two words that cut Tristan as deep as any knife... "I can't."
Glancing quickly at his face, Rory's heart broke at the pain etched on Tristan's face. Nodding his head slowly, Tristan fought the tears that began to form in his eyes. Hoping Rory hadn't seen them, he quickly turned and walked numbly to his class. However, Tristan was too late, and Rory had in fact seen the river forming in Tristan's pools of blue.
Watching Tristan cry brought tears to Rory's own eyes as she sat paralyzed in her 2nd hour class. She hadn't answered a single question, hadn't written down a word the teacher had said, and couldn't get the image of Tristan's tear filled eyes out of her head.
After class was over, Rory's own eyes began to fill with tears when she realized Tristan wasn't waiting for her. Taking off his jacket and slipping his class ring under her sweater, she slowly made her way to their classroom. Slowly dropping his jacket on the desk Tristan was now occupying, she made her seat to the back of the classroom in the far corner, as far away from Tristan and the boys as she could get.
That class seemed to drag on that day. Tristan hadn't glanced back at her once, although she could tell by the way the vane in his neck was popping out that he had been fighting the urge to do just that. Rory had pulled a Tristan that day, however, not being able to tear her eyes off of the back of Tristan's head. She desperately wished she could take those painful words back.
Tristan laughed with his friends like he would every day, but he couldn't stop the powerful breaking of his heart that he felt in his chest. When Rory laid his jacket on his desk without a word, he could see the tears forming in her eyes. Tristan knew Rory at least wanted to be his, but she doesn't be with him. Not the way he wanted her to be with him. He didn't understand. He had loved her since sophomore year and he knew deep down she was in love with him, too. It was in her eyes, in her smile, everything about her screaming that she loved him. And now she couldn't be with him? Shaking his head clear of all thoughts, he made his way to lunch.
Sitting down at his table, he was rather surprised when Rory didn't come and sit with them. She had been sitting with them since the first day of junior year when Tristan practically dragged her to the table kicking and screaming. Looking behind him, he realized Rory had returned to her own table, sitting by herself, book opened, headphones on, and soda in hand.
Sitting down next to Tristan, Josh Waters looked confused. "Why is Ror over there?" He asked, not knowing what had happened between the two of them.
Josh, like many others, new Tristan's feelings towards Rory. He made it clear when he practically tore off the heads of anyone of the opposite sex who tried to talk to her.
Pushing his chair back, Tristan mumbled about not wanting to talk about it and walked over to where Rory was seated.
Rory could feel people staring at her and if she hadn't had headphones on, she was sure she'd hear them whispering all around her. She knew they were shocked that she wasn't seated with Tristan and 9 of the other most popular boys at Chilton. She knew they were even more shocked that Tristan was ALLOWING it.
Rory knew Tristan was heading her way. She could feel his eyes burning into her skull, She could tell by the way that she didn't feel 600 eyes on her, because they had all averted their attention to watch Tristan's every move.
Sitting down next to Rory, he instinctively took a drink of the Wild Cherry Pepsi that she had been holding in her hand. Downing half of her soda, Tristan took off Rory's headphones and turned her around to face him.
"Rory... what are you doing over here? By yourself?" Tristan asked her quietly, staring into her eyes questioningly.
Staring back into his eyes, trying to stay strong, Rory shrugged, "The same reason you didn't walk me to 3rd hour."
Breaking eye contact, Tristan found the ground very interesting. "Rory... why can't we be together?"
Tristan had asked so quietly that Rory almost didn't hear it. Tears began to form in Rory's eyes as she shook her head, trying to rid her head of her conscious telling her to jump into Tristan's arms and kiss him senseless.
"We would never work, Tristan. I wish we could, but I don't see how it would." Rory said. Leaning down to kiss him on the cheek, she whispered "I love you" into his ear, grabbed her stuff, and made her way out of the cafeteria, feeling everyone's eyes on her. Everyone's eyes, except for Tristan.
Tristan just sat there, his heart breaking once more that day. The first time it had broken in large pieces... this time, it was shattering. Rory had finally said those 3 words he had waited almost 2 years to hear... and she won't let them give it a shot?! Earlier that day, the first thought on Tristan's mind was that Rory would be his. He never imagined that he was going to come close to achieving his ultimate goal.
Everyday that was Tristan's first thought. What made today different? What made today the day Rory had to admit her feelings? What made today the day Rory chose to say, "I love you," What made today the day that Tristan DuGrey's heart would finally break after 17 years of never coming close. One more thought popped into Tristan's head... what made today the day he wasn't chasing after her?
The moment the question popped into his head, he tried to move, but for some reason, his feet weren't moving. Looking down questioningly, he saw his name on the front of a letter in Rory's beautiful handwriting.
Sitting back down, Tristan bent down to pick up the letter. Opening it carefully, he began to read...
Dear Tristan,
I'm sorry. I know that as you're reading this, you're asking yourself why you aren't chasing after me. Why you're sitting here reading this letter instead of following me to our spot in the library that no one ever noticed. Well... I have the answers for you...
You're reading this letter because you realized something today. You realized that even Tristan DuGrey's heart is breakable and you're in so much pain you can't move... Tristan, I saw you cry today. I've never seen you cry. I've seen you so numb you couldn't move... so angry your vanes popped out... so sad that your body shook... but I've never seen you cry. I'm not sure if it's because you were taught to never cry... or if it's because nothing has ever happened worth crying over in your mind... but I made you cry. I hurt you by two simple words... and I know that you're probably fighting with the tears that are forming in your eyes after I said 3 simple words to you. I don't want to have that much power over you Tristan... I don't want to hurt you.
You have grown so much in the past year and I am so proud of you, Tristan. You have grown into a wonderful being that I'm proud to be your best friend, and sweet heart, I'd be proud to be your girlfriend... But I can't. I can't be your girlfriend, because I can't handle the pressure. Do you know how hard we'd have to work to be together? Tristan, it'd tear us apart... by the time we finally got it right, there'd be nothing worth defending anymore.
I love you so much, you have no idea. You're probably shaking your head at this letter thinking that there is no way that I love you as much as you love me... but I do Tristan. God, I love you so much. But we need time apart. We're so dependent upon one another, we're forgetting what we can be apart.
I know how much this is hurting you, believe me, I do, because it's hurting me just as badly. I wish I could be everything for you... but I'm not ready. Please... just... move on, Tristan. There are so many girls who are worth your time... I'm just a small town girl, Tristan; I can't give you anything. You deserve so much more than you think...
At the bottom of the envelope is my class ring... wear it close to your heart. And don't ever take it off. I'll be wearing yours just the same...
Forever Yours,
Your Mary... I'll seal it with a kiss.
Tristan got up from his seat and ran out of the cafeteria... down the hall. Not stopping, not even breathing, until he got to the library. Running to the far end of the library and ducking behind the very last bookshelf, Tristan sat down next to Rory, tears freely falling from both of their faces.
"I begged you not to come..." Rory said hoarsely, her voice weak.
"I begged you never to leave me," Tristan said into Rory's ear, breathing on her neck.
Shaking her head slowly, Rory turned to face Tristan. "Tristan, I meant every word in my letter... we need time apart."
Tristan wiped the tears away from Rory's face with his thumb, "How can we need time apart? We've never been together... Rory, I need you and I know you need me just as badly..." Tristan whispered, forcing the tears to stop.
"Tristan, I can't be with you... do you know how hard it'd be? No one would except it..." Rory said, unconsciously moving closer to Tristan, her head dropping against his chest.
Running his fingers through Rory's hair, Tristan wrapped his free arm around her waist. "Rory... I'm not giving up. I love you. Please..." Tristan had to stop mid sentence, trying desperately to stop the sob that wanted to escape his lips.
However, Tristan hadn't succeeded, and his whole body began to shake with sobs. Looking up, Rory's eyes reflected Tristan's pain. Wrapping her arms around Tristan's neck, Tristan buried his head in Rory's neck, letting go emotionally. Tightening his arms around Rory's waist, Tristan's sobs became more frequent.
Running her hands through Tristan's hair, Rory began to rock him slowly. "Shhh, Tristan... it'll be okay." Rory repeatedly cooed into his ear.
When Tristan lifted his head from Rory's shoulder, their faces were mere millimeters from one another. Rory's heart began to pound in her chest as her breath was caught in her throat. Tristan's pulse began to race as they both began to lean forward...
Meeting one another half way, Tristan and Rory's lips connected for the first time since Madeline's party sophomore year. The kiss was slow and meaningful, full of promise.
After what seemed like an eternity, Rory was the first to pull away. When she was about to tell Tristan she'd be his girlfriend, Rory looked past Tristan's shoulder and saw someone from her past....
"Jess..." She said silently.
Author's Note... So what did you all think? I know it's completely confusing and probably extremely hard to follow... but I've been writing this chapter for the past 3 days. I'm not sure where I'm going with this... and I'm not sure if I'm going to make this is a Trory or not... I suppose you guys should vote... Lit or Trory? Let me know! If you choose to make this a Lit. it'd be the first one I've written... keep that in mind!