Disclaimer: I own nothing.
****
It was a Sunday afternoon at the Preventers headquarters and a megalomaniac bent on world domination wearing a neon pink chicken outfit and claiming to the ruler of all the goats in Switzerland over the P.A. system could not have diverted the attention of every Preventers officer within a two mile radius of top Preventers agent, Heero Yuy.
Because Heero Yuy had a grin on his face so wide it defied the laws of physics.
Ignoring all the curious stares of his co-workers, Heero sat down on his desk and started humming placidly to himself. No one noticed (that or they didn't care) when Chang Wufei came running wildly in, shoved his way through the crowd and stared openly at Heero.
As Heero looked up Wufei took a step backwards in horror.
"Oh. Hello, Wufei. How are you today?" Heero asked pleasantly.
Wufei took a further step backwards but appeared to change his mind as he suddenly Wufei lunged forward and grabbed Heero.
"Come on Yuy! I've got to get you to the medical area! Fast! There is something seriously wrong with you!" Wufei said as he attempted to drag the still smiling Heero away. Attempted being the key word as Heero was unmovable as the rock his facial features normally resembled.
"Oh, don't worry about me Wufei. I'm fine." Heero said placidly as he stared fixedly at a point somewhere about three feet above Wufei's head. And it was damn frightening how he kept grinning like that grin, too."
"The hell you are! Why the hell are you grinning like that then?!" Wufei practically screamed as something akin to panic edged its way into his voice.
"A French maid's outfit." Heero said still staring at the ceiling and giggling in the back of his throat as his grin grew impossibly bigger. "A very short, silk French maid's outfit. With fish net stockings and stiletto heels and an adorable little white hat."
"Oh god." Wufei said eyes widening terror as he ran away to go get some tissues for his bloody nose.
Hearing Heero Yuy say adorable would do that to a person.
"And Duo's hair was down, too." Heero burbled happily.
"Wait, wait. Hold on a second." A Preventer said calling out. "Is he insinuating what I think he's insinuating?"
"Holy shit!!" Someone else called out. "Heero Yuy got laid!!"
At this point all hell broke loose.
It took half an hour and some extremely disturbing death threats from Une to restore peace.
"All right!" Une shouted over the crowd of Preventer agents. "Seeing as Yuy is. . ." Une faltered as she struggled to find the right words. ". . .Unfit to complete any work today, I want Collins and Andrews to escort him home."
As the crowd of unnerved agents dispersed Une spoke privately with the afore mentioned escorts.
"Go to this address." Une said handing them a slip of paper with an address on it. "Heero's roommate should be home. His name is Maxwell. Now hop to it!"
****
"Can you believe that anyone could live with Yuy?" Collins, a young man in his mid-twenties with brown hair and blue eyes asked.
"That might not be so bad, but can you believe anyone would sleep with him?!" Andrews said. Unlike Collins, Andrews had flaming red hair and sparkling green eyes. "I mean," He said gesturing towards the still grinning Heero trotting happily along behind them. "I've never even heard his voice change from that monotone the whole time I been working with the Preventers. I didn't think he even knew what sex was! Who ever that Duo was that he mentioned has got to be some kind of charmer"
Andrews' rant was cut short as they reached the door to Heero's apartment and Collins rang the doorbell. As the door opened both men peered expectantly into the house trying to catch a glimpse of Heero's alleged roommate.
When the door opened fully they were greeted by the sight of what had to be a boy seeing as he had no shirt on, about Heero's age with chestnut hair down to mid-thigh and stunning purple eyes.
"Y-you're Maxwell?" Collins stuttered. He was just beginning to suspect something that he would rather not think about.
"Yeah. Why?" He said looking suspiciously at Collins and Andrews. "Did Hee-chan kill someone important?"
"What?! No! But he is sorta-" Collins was cut off by two things. One would be the fact that Heero chose this moment to jump at Maxwell screaming "Duuuuuooooooo!" and the second would be he happened to knock Collins and Andrews over when he jumped.
By the time they got back on their feet Heero sitting on a half stunned Duo and hugging the life out of him.
As Duo gained back his senses he looked down at Heero and then at the two Preventers' agents gaping at him like fish out of water.
"What happened to Hee-chan?" He asked "Did he get caught up in one of Wuffers rants and finally go insane?"
"No." Said Andrews who ha just figured out exactly who Duo was and was desperately trying not to think about what Heero had said that morning. "He came into work like that."
"No shit?" Duo said raising his eyebrows in incredulous surprise. "Well, damn. I better keep him here for a while then." Duo stood up without too much difficulty and moved Heero into a more comfortable position. "Well, thanks for bringing him here, guys. Tell Une-chan I said hello!" He called after them as they walked sedately away.
As soon as Andrews and Collins had walked a little way they looked at each other and silently decided never to speak of what had happened to another living soul. And that there was no way in hell that they were going to repeat Duo's exact words to Une. They valued their lives far too much to call Une 'Une-chan'.
OWARI
****
It was a Sunday afternoon at the Preventers headquarters and a megalomaniac bent on world domination wearing a neon pink chicken outfit and claiming to the ruler of all the goats in Switzerland over the P.A. system could not have diverted the attention of every Preventers officer within a two mile radius of top Preventers agent, Heero Yuy.
Because Heero Yuy had a grin on his face so wide it defied the laws of physics.
Ignoring all the curious stares of his co-workers, Heero sat down on his desk and started humming placidly to himself. No one noticed (that or they didn't care) when Chang Wufei came running wildly in, shoved his way through the crowd and stared openly at Heero.
As Heero looked up Wufei took a step backwards in horror.
"Oh. Hello, Wufei. How are you today?" Heero asked pleasantly.
Wufei took a further step backwards but appeared to change his mind as he suddenly Wufei lunged forward and grabbed Heero.
"Come on Yuy! I've got to get you to the medical area! Fast! There is something seriously wrong with you!" Wufei said as he attempted to drag the still smiling Heero away. Attempted being the key word as Heero was unmovable as the rock his facial features normally resembled.
"Oh, don't worry about me Wufei. I'm fine." Heero said placidly as he stared fixedly at a point somewhere about three feet above Wufei's head. And it was damn frightening how he kept grinning like that grin, too."
"The hell you are! Why the hell are you grinning like that then?!" Wufei practically screamed as something akin to panic edged its way into his voice.
"A French maid's outfit." Heero said still staring at the ceiling and giggling in the back of his throat as his grin grew impossibly bigger. "A very short, silk French maid's outfit. With fish net stockings and stiletto heels and an adorable little white hat."
"Oh god." Wufei said eyes widening terror as he ran away to go get some tissues for his bloody nose.
Hearing Heero Yuy say adorable would do that to a person.
"And Duo's hair was down, too." Heero burbled happily.
"Wait, wait. Hold on a second." A Preventer said calling out. "Is he insinuating what I think he's insinuating?"
"Holy shit!!" Someone else called out. "Heero Yuy got laid!!"
At this point all hell broke loose.
It took half an hour and some extremely disturbing death threats from Une to restore peace.
"All right!" Une shouted over the crowd of Preventer agents. "Seeing as Yuy is. . ." Une faltered as she struggled to find the right words. ". . .Unfit to complete any work today, I want Collins and Andrews to escort him home."
As the crowd of unnerved agents dispersed Une spoke privately with the afore mentioned escorts.
"Go to this address." Une said handing them a slip of paper with an address on it. "Heero's roommate should be home. His name is Maxwell. Now hop to it!"
****
"Can you believe that anyone could live with Yuy?" Collins, a young man in his mid-twenties with brown hair and blue eyes asked.
"That might not be so bad, but can you believe anyone would sleep with him?!" Andrews said. Unlike Collins, Andrews had flaming red hair and sparkling green eyes. "I mean," He said gesturing towards the still grinning Heero trotting happily along behind them. "I've never even heard his voice change from that monotone the whole time I been working with the Preventers. I didn't think he even knew what sex was! Who ever that Duo was that he mentioned has got to be some kind of charmer"
Andrews' rant was cut short as they reached the door to Heero's apartment and Collins rang the doorbell. As the door opened both men peered expectantly into the house trying to catch a glimpse of Heero's alleged roommate.
When the door opened fully they were greeted by the sight of what had to be a boy seeing as he had no shirt on, about Heero's age with chestnut hair down to mid-thigh and stunning purple eyes.
"Y-you're Maxwell?" Collins stuttered. He was just beginning to suspect something that he would rather not think about.
"Yeah. Why?" He said looking suspiciously at Collins and Andrews. "Did Hee-chan kill someone important?"
"What?! No! But he is sorta-" Collins was cut off by two things. One would be the fact that Heero chose this moment to jump at Maxwell screaming "Duuuuuooooooo!" and the second would be he happened to knock Collins and Andrews over when he jumped.
By the time they got back on their feet Heero sitting on a half stunned Duo and hugging the life out of him.
As Duo gained back his senses he looked down at Heero and then at the two Preventers' agents gaping at him like fish out of water.
"What happened to Hee-chan?" He asked "Did he get caught up in one of Wuffers rants and finally go insane?"
"No." Said Andrews who ha just figured out exactly who Duo was and was desperately trying not to think about what Heero had said that morning. "He came into work like that."
"No shit?" Duo said raising his eyebrows in incredulous surprise. "Well, damn. I better keep him here for a while then." Duo stood up without too much difficulty and moved Heero into a more comfortable position. "Well, thanks for bringing him here, guys. Tell Une-chan I said hello!" He called after them as they walked sedately away.
As soon as Andrews and Collins had walked a little way they looked at each other and silently decided never to speak of what had happened to another living soul. And that there was no way in hell that they were going to repeat Duo's exact words to Une. They valued their lives far too much to call Une 'Une-chan'.
OWARI