These characters belong to the producers of the shows that created them, and not to me in any way, I just borrowed them for the sake of my story. I hope someone likes it, as I know it wont be as good as some of the stories are, I am in awe of some of the talent which is displayed on this site! Please be kind. I think it's probably a PG13 rating, not sure. Many thanks to Barb for Beta Reading this for me and correcting many mistakes, and to Dee for showing me the way

Phoebe Halliwell stared out of her bedroom window, at all the lights in the city, and the beautiful panorama before her. She had every reason to feel satisfied with life at the moment, she was becoming increasingly popular with her readers, she had a beautiful baby nephew, and she was sleeping with her incredibly sexy boss. It was her birthday, and Jason had given her a beautiful diamond watch, which wasn't quite a ring, but a whole lot better than flowers or chocolates! She was 30 years old - no longer a gullible girl, a susceptible child, but a mature and (she hoped) beautiful woman, with the world at her feet. She gazed over the city, then closed her eyes in bliss as a pair of warm strong arms encircled her, and she was pulled back into a warm and tight embrace. "Come back to bed Phoebe," he whispered in her ear, and she smiled and turned her face slowly to the side, so he could kiss her cheek. "I miss you there." She squirmed a little in his hold, enjoying the feel of his arms, the feel of his chin resting on her head - it felt right, it was something she and Cole . She slammed shut her thoughts, she would not go there, not again, not ever. This was Jason with her, blonde, handsome non-magical Jason, not Cole, not dark, dangerous demonic Cole - not ever again would it be Cole. Jason, who felt her stiffen slightly, looked at her with concern. "What's the matter Phoebe? Is something wrong?" She smiled her bright, wide smile, and turned into his embrace. "Nothing's wrong Jason, what could possibly be wrong? Just watching all the lights, and you know, thinking.." "Then come back to bed," he whispered, "let me show you how much I worship you." She lay back down, and he came to her, and made love to her, and she gazed up at the ceiling, the edge of exitement gone for some reason, and try as she might she couldn't recapture it. "O.K., your heart isn't in it," he said in exasperation, "something is wrong, out with it." "Nothing is wrong," she whispered, "It's the day after my birthday now," she said glancing at her bedside clock, "And it would have been my anniversary things had worked out differently. But I'm so glad it's not - I mean I'm so glad you are here, and him, not him." Jason lay back against the pillows, looking at her intently. "It's the first time I've heard you mention your ex-husband," he said. "I knew about him from Elise."

"Elise?" said Phoebe scornfully, "What does she know? Nothing. What did she say to you?"

"Just that you had been through a messy divorce, and that your ex- husband was a lawyer." Phoebe laughed, if only it had been that simple. "A lawyer, yes," she whispered "messy, yes! It's so over Jason, you have nothing to worry about! He's dead now, anyway." And inside of her that feeling she sometimes had, of a hand squeezing her heart, just for a second, that feeling swept over her, and she turned on her side. "I shouldn't have even said anything, just forget it, let's sleep now, tomorrow is a busy day." But Jason sat up, and leaned over her. "Dead? I didn't know that. I'm sorry Phoebe," "Don't be sorry," she whispered, and he lay back down, and as he drifted off to sleep, he thought he heard her say, "I killed him myself, and he deserved to die!" She listened to Jason's breathing as it slowed, and watched the shadows on the ceiling. Then she turned, and reached into her bedside cupboard drawer, feeling for her birth-control pills, and suddenly her hand came in contact with an envelope, which she had thrown, into the drawer many months before. And with a sickening swoop of the senses, she was suddenly somewhere else.

She was in the mausoleum with Leo, pacing, anxious, waiting for Cole, with her heart pounding, and he was suddenly there, and she was in his arms, kissing him desperately, holding his handsome face in her hands, feeling his strong arms around her, and he was gone again, back into danger, back to destroy the Brotherhood, for her, to prove himself to her .She was on the rooftop, trying to get Paige to safety, and he threw himself in front of a Shax energy bolt so she was safe. She was in an alley, with a demon about to cut her throat with an athame, and Cole was there to take the demon out, before he could hurt her. he was making love to her, kissing her senseless, as only he could, .she was dying in the attic, and Piper was dying next to her, and he came, and killed the demon, and called Leo to save them..She was shimmering through time, caught tight in his was lying on her bed, shaking convulsively trying to slow her breathing so Jason wouldn't wake up. Her heartbeat thundered in her ears, her lungs dragged in air - where had that all come from? It wasn't a premonition - though she felt just as exhausted as she did when one of those hit her - it wasn't a dream, she had been awake. Cautiously she crept out of bed, out of the room, and down the stairs, into the sunroom. It had been a year since Paige told her that he was finally vanquished. Paige had followed him into an alternate universe, one where he was not invincible, and told her that she, Phoebe, had been the one in that reality, to throw the potion that finally vanquished him. And she had done it gladly, without remorse, and when she had found out in this reality, she still felt no remorse, only a defiant gladness that he was gone - out of her life for good! Until ten minutes ago, she had not let herself even think about him. She had not looked at any of the photos of him; she had thrown herself into her job. She hated him, in the end; she blamed him for everything that went wrong. He had become the Source, she had lost her husband, her soul mate, her baby, nearly her life, and the lives of her sisters, and it was all because of him. He had fought his way back from the Wasteland, in the process becoming more powerful than ever, and had come to her, pleading for her forgiveness, but she couldn't forgive. She ignored all the good he had done; she arrogantly dismissed any suggestion that it hadn't been his fault, that the Seer had used him. He had won her love; then destroyed it, and she would never forgive. Even when he still saved her life, and her sisters' lives, she treated him with distain. When he finally snapped, when his enormous power was destroying his mind, she still hated him, and could feel no pity, only loathing. So why, tonight, did her heart still race, and why, tonight, was she awake, and dreaming of him?