Authors note at the bottom!

Sacrifice Theory...

If it makes you happy.

It can't be that bad.

If it makes you happy.

Then why the hell are you so sad?

Long after Draco had left slamming the door behind him, Harry had laid on the bathroom floor quietly sobbing. He had done this; he had pushed Draco away to the point where the blonde couldn't take it anymore. So why was he crying now after achieving his goal? Easy... He still loved Draco, but he had to do this. Draco deserved someone who wasn't a murder.

Harry's crying subsided and slothfully he dragged himself to the tub and turned both the faucets for hot and cold water on, watching as the tub filled itself with clear water. When it was half-filled he got in, clothes and all. The blood that had dried on his hands was washed away and blended with the water.

Harry stared at the tile wall ahead of him not really seeing anything in front of him, just thinking of Draco and if he really wanted to let him go. But he was afraid and his fear was holding him back, a part of him wanted so badly to call Draco back and plea for forgiveness but as always he held back. His eyelids were feeling heavy and he felt so tried that he just let himself fall of asleep, embracing the darkness.

He was lying on a soft bed. That much Harry knew, he couldn't recall anything at once and wondered why he felt so dazed. Then he remembered, Tom Riddle had forced fed him some pill that put him to sleep almost in minutes. Now he was waking and becoming aware of everything, in particular a warmth that was coming from something on top of him and it wasn't a blanket for none covered him. That's when he took notice that someone was sucking gently on his neck... and there was only one other person in the flat with him.

Harry's eyes shot open in fear and rage. Sure enough he found Riddle on top of him his lips on his neck. Catching the man by surprise he punched him hard enough to send Riddle toppling over the side of the bed. Harry stood up fast and made his way to the door. Riddle stood up and looked around for a moment before his gaze landed on Harry.

A dazzling smile graced his handsome face. "Harry, love you're up!" Riddle said as if he hadn't been pushed off the bed by said love.

But Harry wasn't paying attention to him, his focus was on the door that he had reached and was now twisting the door knob only to find it lock. With dread in the pit of his stomach he turned to Riddle, who's face held a smug look to it. He was holding the keys up.

"Now don't get excited but it's time for our bath." He said as if he was speaking to a slow child, taking a step towards Harry who backed into the door.

"Our bath? Are you hard of hearing or maybe you haven't gotten it through your thick head that, I HATE YOU!" Harry roared glaring at Riddle.

The smile left Riddle's face and went cold in matter of seconds that Harry almost didn't catch it. He advanced on Harry, and even though he tried to get away Riddle caught the back of his shirt and slammed him into the door. Riddle tried to take his jeans off and was ripping at his shirt but Harry slapped his hands and fought back furiously, he refused to go down without a fight. Seeing red Riddle grabbed him by the throat and smashed his head into the door, hard.

Harry saw stars and fought to stay conscious. His vision was shadowy and his hearing fuzzy; it felt like from afar that he was hearing Riddle.

"Now that's a good boy. You'll see we'll have a lot of fun." Riddle picked him up and carried him to the bathroom.

Harry felt like he was drowning and there was a ringing in his ear. Breathing was becoming problematical for him and soon he knew he would die. The ringing got louder.

Harry gasped, eyes widening.

Water splashed everywhere as Harry lifted himself up from the lukewarm water coughing out water that had gotten in his mouth. While he slept he had fallen into the water where breathing had become a difficulty. Still coughing he looked around trying to keep the room from spinning.

RIINNG!

There was the ringing again and it wasn't coming from his head but instead from his room. He realized it was the phone. Getting out of the bathtub he dripped water everywhere as he ran to his room. Maybe it was Draco.

Picking up the phone he gave a breathy hello, he had run quickly trying to pick it up before the answering machine did.

"Hey Harry." It was Sirius.

It was like someone had punctured a whole in his balloon and it was now gradually deflating. Slowly he sank unto his bed forgetting his drenched clothes and the hope that he had was leaving him quicker then he had felt it. But what had he expected, for Draco to come back to him when he was the one who had ended it, again.

"Harry are you there?" His godfather asked.

"Yeah Sirius. What's up?" He knew he sounded unhappy but he couldn't muster up the energy to sound cheerful.

"I just wanted to hear how you were doing."

Harry resisted the urge to scream and just hang up the phone. He was so sick of people asking him the same question everyday! He told them he was bloody fine, why couldn't they just accept it at how it was and leave him alone! Inwardly sighing he put more gusto into his voice.

"I'm fine Sirius, but I'm going to have to let you go I was in the shower before you called."

"Oh sorry kiddo, tell your mum I say hi."

"Will do."

"Love you, bye." Sirius said.

"Me too, bye." Harry hung up the phone before anything more could be said and dropped the cordless phone on his floor cushion and fell back on his bed.

For some reason he felt drained from just talking to his godfather and before he knew he let his eyes close and fell into another slumber.

Harry looked around the room and realized he was back in the ballroom that Draco's father had gotten for them to celebrate his mum's birthday and the night that Draco had been shot. He'd never told anyone but seeing Draco go down as if dead had been the worst moment of his life, Harry could have sworn he had heard his heart breaking.

He looked around the room, there were many people standing around him near the wall but they weren't doing anything, just staring back at him. Harry looked away from them when a loud bang resounded around the room, he turned around when he heard the loud thud of someone hitting the floor. His eyes widen in horror at what he took in. Draco who was only a few feet away from him was shot in the abdomen and was now on the ground bleeding heavily. Strangely enough there was no one around holding a gun, just the noise of the gun and now Draco laying on the floor bleeding. But Harry wasn't thinking of any of this as he rushed to Draco's side.

"Oh god Draco." Harry gasped as he knelt down by the blonde who looked pale as death and had his eyes closed.

Harry put his hand to the wound and it didn't take long for his hand to be completely covered in blood. He looked up to all the people standing by the wall who did nothing but gazed back at him.

"Help!!" He screamed at them but he could've been alone for all he cared, for they just stood there doing nothing. "Please!" He tried again but it was useless. Frustrated Harry looked back down and gasped suppressing a scream.

The body that was once Draco was now Colin Creevey and he wasn't in the ballroom anymore but in the bathtub... and Colin was very much alive. Creevey wrapped his arms around Harry and held him place. They were both naked and he was on Creevey's lap facing him.

"Did you really think you could get away from me." The blonde pressed his lips to Harry's neck who couldn't prevent the shudder of disgust.

"You're dead. You aren't real." Harry said keeping his gazed locked to a tile that was in his eye range. He felt Creevey's hand on the small of his back pushing their bodies closer together.

The blonde laughed deeply into his ear. "Do really think so? Then how come you can feel this?" To prove his point Creevey bit his neck hard.

Harry cried out and pushed against Creevey, he tried to hit him in the head so that he could get out of the bathtub but instead his wrist was caught in a painful grip and he was push onto back so that Creevey was now on top of him.

"Did you really think you would win?" Creevey said staring down at Harry who gazed back fearfully.

Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that all of this was not true and that Creevey was really dead and at some point he would have to wake up from this nightmare. But at the moment he couldn't convince himself of any of that.

"Wanna have some fun Harry?" Creevey smiled and before Harry had the chance to protest he felt the harsh sting of Creevey thrusting into him.

Screaming Harry fell off the bed and sat up on the floor looking around widely. His hands frantically touched at his clothes to make sure they were in reality on, once he made sure of that he touched his neck but the skin underneath his fingers were unharmed and unblemished. Steadily his heartbeat became normal again, though he still had the subconscious fear that Creevey would jump out of his closet door.

Harry felt worst if that was possible, he knew he was falling asleep because he didn't sleep during the night always being kept up by nightmares. It had happened the last time but not as bad as this, he couldn't take any more sleeping pills for the doctors feared that he would get addicted to them. And Harry put a front that he was doing much better, just so his family wouldn't worry about him for they already worried enough. If he woke up from a nightmare and didn't make a sound his mum wouldn't wake up and he would spend the rest of the night writing or listening to music or drawing till he was too tired to stay awake. But recently his nightmares had been getting worst so he had tried to stop sleeping altogether, he had been going for two day now with barely any sleep and now it was coming back to him.

The last dream he had with Creevey was one he had been repeatedly having and no matter how many times he had it, he would always wake up screaming scaring Lily to death. Lily wanted to take Harry to a psychologist but he had plead not to be taken to one. He didn't want to tell a complete stranger everything he had been through no matter how many damn degrees the doctor had. His mum had agreed at first but since his eating and sleeping patterns weren't getting better she was now looking for one, much to Harry's dismay.

Harry was drawn from his thoughts as he heard the front door shut and his mum call out to him. They met half way in the hall and as soon as she took in Harry's appearance she gasped and rushed to him.

"What happen Harry?" Lily said alarmed.

Harry looked down at his clothes and saw that they were still a bit damp and getting wrinkled. "I fell asleep in the bath." He didn't know why he answered truthfully, maybe it was because he didn't have the strength to lie.

She looked at him in shock, her green eyes searching for it to be joke but she saw that it wasn't and hugged Harry tightly. "Oh Harry, please don't do that. In fact don't take a bath or shower till I'm home." She told him seriously.

Harry laughed quietly and gave his mum a half smile. "Mum I'm going to be 17 soon I can shower by myself."

"I'm not playing around Harry. Who knows what could have happened to you." She snapped at him and he relented not wanting to argue. "Why did you get in the bath with your clothes on anyways? Was it another nightmare?"

"Er... That and I had a fight with Draco." He told her moving into the kitchen.

She turned to him with a frown. "A fight about what?"

"I don't want to talk about it. Sorry mum but I'm not feeling all that well so I'm going to my room." Harry stood up.

"Wait what do you want for dinner?"

"Nothing I'm not hungry."

"Harry you have to eat, you've lost way too much weight in the past three months. How about roast beef and mash potatoes, they were always your favorite." She smiled.

Harry shook his head. "I'm not hungry." He repeated.

"Well I'm sorry Harry but you have to eat." Lily said she paused for a moment looking thoughtful. "I talked to one of my co-workers today and she recommended me to a psychologist." She tried saying casually.

Harry turned to stare at her sharply. "You told someone at work what happen to me?"

"No! I just asked if they knew of any good psychologist, your name was never mentioned." The redhead turned to her son.

"You know I don't want to talk to anyone." Harry removed his gaze from Lily to look at the floor instead.

"But it's not doing you any good to keep it in... You won't talk to your father, your brother, or me! Not even Draco. And I refuse to watch you as this eats at you Harry. It's for your own good." She told Harry hoping he would understand.

"And to hell what I think right? No it's for my own good that I have to relive it for some stranger, it's not enough that I dream about it every night is it!?" Angrily he left the kitchen and went to his room, slamming it shut ignoring his mother's calls.

I try to breath

Memories overtaking me

I try to face them but

the thought is too

much to conceive

H.J. Potter

There was a knock on Harry's door that went unnoticed by him as he sat on his bed, headphones incasing his ears with the music blasting high. There was another knock and finally Lily just opened the door of son's room and stood at there gazing at Harry for a moment before stepping into the room. Harry looked up and become aware of his mum, removing the headphones and paused the music. He looked back at her as she moved on to the bed and passed him a plate of food.

"You have to eat Harry." Lily said softly.

"I'm sorry." Harry said accepting the plate of food.

"About what?"

"Getting mad... I know I have to eat I was just mad." He moved his gaze to stare at his mum. "I really don't want to see a doctor for crazy people."

"Their not doctors for crazy people Harry, their psychologist."

"Mum how would you feel if you had to tell a total stranger of all the things you went through?" Harry countered as he took a bite of the food his mum made, just realizing how hungry he really was.

Lily sighed quietly. "Don't turn this around on me Harry. This is about you not getting better and alienating everyone that cares about you."

"I'm not alienating anyone." Harry muttered, taking another mouthful.

"Yes you are. I know you don't want to see a psychologist but give it a try it might not be that bad, ok?"

Harry remained quiet looking at his mum's face. He knew that she would feel much better if he just agreed but he knew it would be a waste of money. He would sit in the office of some doctor and spend an hour of doing nothing but staring at the walls. But for his mother's sake he nodded.

"But can we just wait a while to see if I get better please?"

"Harry..." Lily bit her bottom lip. She wanted to do whatever Harry asked of her but she was a mother and sometimes you just had to do what was best for them even if they didn't like it very much.

"Please just wait for the rest of the week and see."

"Fine but if you don't get any better-"

"I will go see a crazy doctor." Harry finished the sentence with a relived smile.

Lily nodded and ruffled his hair before standing up. "Night kid. Take the plate back to the kitchen when you're done." She moved to the door.

"Yea mum." Harry nodded and put his headphones back on.

I love you.

I love you too.

Do you really?

Yes.

Harry looked up into Draco's face who was staring back at him emotionlessly. Harry knew it was another dream but he didn't understand what was going on. Usually his dreams consisted of screams and blood, not nothingness and only a cold Draco for company.

Then why do you always hurt me?

I don't mean too.

Yes you do. Face it Harry you don't love me.

I do!

Draco remained silent merely raising an eyebrow, Harry saw clearly that the blonde didn't believe him when he said that he did really love him. But how could he prove to Draco that he did love him? Before Harry could say anything though, Draco was speaking again.

But then again how could I love someone like you?

What do you mean?

You heard me. Harry you're a murderer, tainted.

No! Creevey would have killed me!

Draco only smirked. It was like that dream he had in the hospital the one where Draco had told him that he had created his own hell.

I don't love you.

Please Draco.

Sorry Harry.

The cold Draco pulled out knife and stabbed Harry in the heart before he could move away or say anything.

Harry sat up breathing hard, cold sweat running down his face. Minutes later he was still sitting up staring at his hands, the dream still fresh in his mind, something about the dream just shook him up and it wasn't because Draco pulled out a knife and stabbed him. It was something in the conversation that they had, while Harry knew that wasn't his Draco it didn't change the fact that it revealed something he knew all along but tried to deny. Harry needed to talk to Draco. He was already making his way out of his room and getting the car keys when he took a glance at the kitchen clock. 2:37AM, late... Draco was probably sleeping and think him crazy. But he needed to do this and it couldn't wait. So before Harry knew it he was driving to Draco's house.

Harry was there in record time, mostly because the road was empty of cars and he was driving a little faster then the speed limit. He turned into the driveway and turned the car off and sat there for a moment to rethink about what he was doing.

"I am crazy." Harry muttered to himself. But he got out of the car anyways and was making his way up to the front porch when he stopped.

"What am I doing, he's most likely sleeping." He said to himself. Thinking how awkward it would be if someone other then Draco opened the door. What was he suppose to say? 'Morning, I know it's late but can I please speak to Draco?' He shook his head turning back when he stopped again. No, he had come all this way to tell Draco the truth that he deserved to know. He needed to do this, so it was decided he would just go, knock on the door, and wait to see who would answer the door. Harry turned to head back to the door when it opened and he was washed in light, Draco stepping out onto the porch still in the clothes he had when had come to visit him.

At the moment Draco was staring at him like he couldn't really believe that he was actually there. Harry stared back surprised, how did Draco know he was there?

As if the blonde could read his mind Draco said. "I saw the headlights from my room."

"Oh." Why did all of sudden Harry lose his nerve, probably it was seeing Draco again.

"What are you doing here Harry?" Draco asked.

"I was in the neighborhood." He tried saying weakly. How was he suppose to start?

Draco leaned against the doorframe and sighed quietly. "Harry, I have a lot of coursework to finish." He did have a lot of coursework to finish and the reason for that was because he couldn't focus, he kept thinking of the words Harry had told him."You wanna help? Then leave! I don't want your help. Just go away." Harry had hurt him more with those words then in all of the three months Harry had spent pushing him away.

"I miss you." Harry blurted out. Oh that was a great start Potter. He berated himself.

He fail to see the amused look that passed through Draco's face before it became closed again. "Really? How much?" He asked.

Harry gave a nervous laugh and avoided his gaze. At least he wasn't closing the door in his face, Harry thought. He was here to tell Draco everything but how do you start? Harry sighed mentally... Why is starting something always the hardest part?

"Do you want to come in?" Draco asked suddenly seeing that Harry was lost in his thoughts. It hurt seeing Harry, but he didn't want him to leave either. Harry had driven to his house in the middle of the night, he must have something to say or do, right?

Harry shook his head. "I want to talk to you." He said and sat down on the steps. Draco stared at his back for a half-a-second before moving to sit down with him.

"Ok talk."

Harry opened his mouth but closed it again. He really didn't know what to say, he turned to Draco who was staring at him with a passive expression. The blonde wasn't judging him just waiting patiently for him to start talking. Harry looked away again and focused on the ground.

"I had a dream, you were in it. You asked if I loved you and I said yes but you didn't believe me... Then you stabbed me." Harry finished quietly.

Draco turned sharply to stare at Harry. "I-" He tried saying but Harry cut him off.

"Don't be sorry, it was a dream nothing more. But it made me realize some things. I push people away because I rather not face my fears. I push them away because I really don't know what their thinking of me and I don't want to seem weak in their eyes but... I know they want to help but how can they understand what I've been through when they've never been through it. Which sound so shallow." Harry said this quickly, afraid that if he didn't get it out now that he would never be able too.

Draco placed a hand on Harry's shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere Harry." He told Harry congenially, offering him a grin which Harry shyly returned. But he understood what he meant, Draco wanted him to take his time with what he had to say not rush it.

"Remember when you first asked me out?" Harry asked suddenly turning to face him.

"Yes you were the first one to ever refuse me." Draco said fondly.

Harry gave a short laugh. "I don't doubt. Want to know the real the reason why I said no at first?" Draco nodded. "Because I didn't think anyone would want me after I was with Riddle. I figured I was dirty and tainted and once you found out what had happen to me you would leave."

"You're not tainted Harry. Riddle never raped you." Draco said definitely, horrified that he thought that but it made sense now why Harry had been so hesitant about going on a date with him.

"There are many ways for a person to use you without actually ever raping you." Harry said bitterly.

"Riddle and Creevey touched you." It wasn't a question. A part of Draco wanted to know all that Harry had been through with both Riddle and Creevey, another part of him was scared of what he might learn. He hated the fact that others had touched Harry, and he hadn't missed the bitterness in Harry's voice. Sometimes he wished he could just bring Creevey and Riddle back to life to torture them for all the problems they had caused Harry.

Harry remained quiet, not really wanting to divulge all that went on with his two captors, he knew he had too but that didn't make it any easier.

"Tell me what happened Harry?" Draco asked uneasily. He wanted Harry to know that he could trust him with anything, even though he knew it would be difficult for Harry to tell him.

Harry started off softly. "Riddle forced me to bathe with him everyday, he even slept in the same bed with me every night and constantly touched or kissed me. But he never wanted to kill me." He gave a harsh laugh that made Draco shiver. "Riddle held on to the belief that I would love him one day, that's why I don't think he ever forced me."

"That bastard." Draco muttered to himself and Harry nodded feeling oddly comforted.

"He was so crazy, one minute he was all smiles which made me want to hit him and then he would go into a rage if I set him off. Riddle would always apologize for hitting or slapping me though saying he didn't mean too but I had to learn to love and respect him." Harry said softly, rethinking all the times he had been slapped when he angered Riddle.

"I'm sorry Harry." Draco said, badly wanting to touch him and reassure him that nothing bad would happen to him anymore, Riddle was dead as well as Creevey and they couldn't hurt Harry anymore.

"What are you sorry for? I don't get it why everyone says sorry as if they had something to do with it." Harry said quietly. "It's not your fault so please don't be sorry." He finished.

"All the same I still feel horrible that you had to go through that."

"I do too." Harry said sadly.

A silence followed after that, it wasn't too tense but they both knew that Harry would talk about Creevey next, and it was questionable but in Harry's mind he was much worst then Riddle. He hated them both the same but Creevey was just sick and crazy.

Finally Draco broke the silence and softly asked. "What about Creevey?" Only a few knew what ever happen to Harry with Creevey, he never knew why Creevey picked him to harass or what happened the day Creevey was killed.

"Creevey singled me out because of how looked."

"Your looks?" Draco couldn't help but say out loud.

"Yeah, the day I...escaped I found a photo album in the closet of the room he kept me in. There were other boys in the album all of them had the same hair color as me and all green eyes, some really could have passed for my brothers. On one page it was a picture taken at a random moment... then there was another of the same boys but they were all dead." Harry took a deep breath. "I flipped through it quickly and near the back I came to a picture of me. I don't even know when it was taken."

Harry stopped reliving the moment he found the picture of him and realizing what it meant. "I knew then he was never really going to let me go... I was never going to see you again, or my mum, dad, Louis. Creevey was going to kill me just like he had all the others and I was going to be nothing more but another picture in his album."

Draco couldn't take it anymore and stood up, pacing back and forth. He vividly remember how he felt when he had almost lost Harry... it felt like life wasn't worth living anymore. That's why it hurt so much when Harry had pushed him away, he wanted to help and wanted Harry to be ok, but he just kept distancing himself more and more. Draco didn't want to leave Harry and hadn't planned to but how can you just stand to watch the person you love so much desecrate away before you and no matter how much you tried to help they pushed you away.

A few minutes later Draco regained his self-control and sat down next to Harry who had remained quiet respecting his need to regain control of his emotions again. Draco grabbed Harry's hand, needing to touch him, needing to know that he was real and Harry let him giving his hand a firm squeeze.

"I don't ever want to lose you Harry." Draco started to say. "But I also don't want to watch you letting Creevey win. Harry you're one of the strongest people I know but damn it don't you see you living the way you are right now you're letting Creevey do exactly what he wanted."

"What do you mean?" He asked quietly.

Draco grabbed Harry by the arms turning him around "You're letting him destroy you!" He yelled. Draco had been wanting to say those words to Harry for the last three months but always held back thinking, hoping that Harry would get better on his own.

Harry was staring wide-eyed at Draco who slowly let him go thought he was still staring at him intensely. Harry fixed his eyes on to the ground thinking of what Draco had well... screamed at him. Deep down he knew he had been doing nothing to help himself to get past the incident with Creevey, that he was punishing himself in a sense but Draco telling him out right just made it all the more true.

"What happen the night you escaped?" Draco asked carefully. Only Harry's parents knew what happen, the others had never found out.

Harry didn't answer at once, but slowly started to talk. "After I found my picture he came into the room, he said something about liking the picture and I asked him why he wanted to kill me. Creevey said I was just like Ethan."

"Who?" Draco asked.

"I don't know, he just said that I would use you for your money and use my looks to get whatever I wanted just like Ethan. I still don't know who he was... maybe the one that made him go crazy. But Creevey was going to kill me that night, first rape me then kill me. He pinned me down to the bed.... and tried to undress me, I fought, got a lamp and hit him on the head. I grabbed the gun when I got off the bed." Harry was telling the story faster now and breathing deeply. "I didn't want to shoot him, really I just wanted him to let me go. But he just turned to me with a smile said I would never shoot him and then...I-" He trailed off staring into space.

"Than what Harry?" The blonde encouraged him, giving him support by squeezing Harry's hand, letting him know that he was still there for him.

"I killed him. A part of me was shocked that I shot him, I have no sympathy for Creevey for he would have killed me without a second thought but I didn't want to kill him, hurt maybe...but to actually take his life." Harry shook his head staring wide-eyed at the ground, the hand Draco was holding was shaking slightly. "Another part of me though was happy and that just made me so disgusted with myself. How could I be happy that I committed murder?" Harry said mostly to himself.

There was another pause. "How do you get back to your normal life Draco? I mean you can't act like nothing has happened but then how do you act? What do people think of me?"

"We don't think the worst of you Harry. We're here for you, we love you and want to help." Draco said firmly.

Harry nodded. "I know that." He said his voice still shaking a bit before letting go of Draco's hand and standing up. "But this was different... It-"Harry stopped speaking and stared at the ground as if contemplating something. Slowly he made his way back to Draco and sat Indian style in front of the blonde.

"Can I tell you something that only my dad knows about?" He asked cautiously.

Intrigued Draco nodded wondering what Harry had to tell him. He watched Harry as he rolled up the sleeve to his shirt and stopped until he revealed a scar on his forearm. "Remember when you asked me about this scar?"

"Yea you told me you got it at school when someone's binder cut you." Draco said evenly. 'Please don't tell me what I think you're going to tell me.' Draco pleaded silently.

"I lied. I didn't get the cut at school." Draco dreaded hearing what Harry had to say next. "I cut myself."

Draco held Harry's gaze who refused to look away. "Why? When?" He asked wretchedly moving to stare at the cut. It was faint, completely healed over but the scar was still discernible.

"When I got home from the hospital the first time. I couldn't take it anymore...My parents were constantly fighting, people at school were talking... It was too much! I just needed a release."

"What made you not do it again?" Draco said softly, his eyes not meeting Harry's. Harry was telling him all the secrets he kept in the closet, and it was hard trying to take it all in. He didn't want to believe that Harry was driven to hurt himself, but the proof was right there on his arm.

Draco's thoughts were interrupted by Harry's voice. "My dad came into the room just as I was done cutting my arm, I was scared he was going to yell at me... instead he took the knife away and sat on the bed and cried. I had never seen him cry before." Harry said quietly. "He asked me why I hadn't talked to him or my mum and I was still too shock to answer him. Later I was ashamed that I had made him cried and I promised no matter what I wouldn't do it again... I wouldn't cut or make him cry ever again."

After Harry finished speaking there was a silence between them in which Draco gazed at his hands unseeing and Harry waited for Draco to say something, anything. Two minutes passed and Harry was getting anxious. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to come and talk to Draco, maybe it had been best to just leave the way things were and go on with their lives. But Harry had done what he had set out to do and had no regrets about telling Draco everything.

Another minute passed. "Please say something." Harry said looking up at the blonde.

"Why me? Why did you pick me to tell all this? You could have talked to your mum or dad or anyone why me?"

"Because I'm sick of hiding myself from you, I didn't want lie to you anymore. You stayed with me through everything, and all did to you was hurt you or push you away. You ought to know the truth after everything you put up with. I know I don't deserve you but I love you Draco."

Draco grabbed Harry's hand and he got up moving closer to Draco until he sat right next to him, their bodies touching. Draco turned his head and placed a soft kiss on Harry's cheek, raised Harry's chin so that they faced each other and placed a gentle kiss on his lips pulling away so that their foreheads were touching.

"I love you too Harry." Draco said.

They didn't know how long they sat outside sitting in comfortable silence, holding hands before they went inside and made their way to bed. Not everything was fixed yet but they were almost there.

And I don't want to fall to pieces

I just want to sit and stare at you

I don't want to talk about it

and I don't want a conversation

I just want to cry in front of you

I don't want to talk about it

'Cause I'm in love with you!

H. J. Potter

Draco knew it was early, the sun was already streaming in the room through the unclosed curtains of his room. But that wasn't what woke him, it was the body on top of him that did, opening his eyes he saw that it was Harry. Draco smiled sleepily, he had thought it was all a dream but he was much happier knowing that it wasn't. Harry moved and sat up on his side of the bed, the cordless phone in hand.

"What are you doing?" Draco yawned staring at him.

Harry turned to him. "Go back to bed, I'm just calling my mum." He finished dialing and put the phone to his ear it didn't take long before Lily answered the phone. "Hi mum... At Draco's house...Took the car... No! I'm fine. No really. Ok I'll see you after you get home, love ya bye." He hung up the phone and dropped it on the bed before settling down to go back to sleep. It really was too early.

"What'd she say?" Draco asked half-asleep.

"I don't know, she was yelling too much." Harry moved closer to the blonde who wrapped an arm around his waist. Both of them were asleep again within five minutes.

While the two of them slept, the other Malfoys were getting ready. Lucius had an early breakfast meeting with two important clients, Narcissa had to drop Milla at school and her sister Malia would stay with her as she ran her errands. It didn't take long for both Narcissa and Lucius to realize that Draco wasn't up and getting ready for school. Narcissa went to his room and knocked on the door, when she got no answer she opened the door and peered in. Smiling softly she closed the door and went back downstairs.

"Draco in the shower?" Lucius asked as he drank his coffee and skimmed the newspaper.

"No, Draco still sleeping but let him. He can afford to miss one day of school." She smiled placing a kiss on her husband's lip before gathering the girls and leaving.

Some time later when the house was empty Draco woke up, feeling more rested then he had in a long time. And the reason he was feeling so rested was right next to him staring up at him.

"Morning, how long have you been awake?" Draco asked Harry who was wide-awake.

"Only about 10 minutes." Harry said pressing his lips to Draco who smiled into the kiss. He had been awake for only ten minutes but didn't want to wake Draco up yet, just wanting to stare at him while he slept.

"Want to go out for breakfast?" Draco asked as both of them sat up, it was 10:30amand he was hungry.

"No, let me make breakfast instead."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, go take a shower and I'll have breakfast ready." Harry said pulling on his jeans. Draco agreed and while he made his way to the bathroom, Harry went into the kitchen to get started on breakfast, bringing the cordless phone with him.

As he got the eggs out he called his mum at her job. Lily answered and after a lot of reassuring on his part she finally calmed down.

"What made you leave so suddenly to Draco's?" Lily asked.

"I don't know, I just needed to talk to him."

"I wish you have waited or at least told me." She lightly chided but she understood and she was happy. Lily knew Draco made Harry happy, it had taken her awhile to realize that Draco really loved her son but she saw that now.

"Sorry mum, won't happen again." Harry laughed and Lily's heart lightened not having heard Harry laugh genuinely for awhile. Whatever happened between them, it has made Harry a little better, Lily thought with a smile.

"Good, I have to go sweetie, I have a lot of work but call me later ok?"

"Ok mum, bye."

"Bye Harry."

Draco came down to the kitchen a little while later, showered and fully dressed. Walking into the kitchen found Harry almost done with making breakfast, pancakes and eggs were laid out on the table and Harry was almost done with the bacon.

"Looks good." Draco said wrapping his arms around Harry. "You know I could get use to this."

"What?"

"Waking up to you and you making me breakfast." He placed a kiss on Harry's cheek who smiled.

Time went on for them, and progressively Harry got better. He still had dreams but who wouldn't but as the months went by they became less frequent, he also started to get out of the house more, hanging out with Hermione, Ron and Blaise and of course Draco. Harry remained being home schooled deciding it was best if he just finished the rest of the school year that way and return next fall for the new school year. All of his family and friends were very happy that Harry finally was living again, and Lily didn't take him to go see a crazy doctor.

Draco's birthday came at the start of June, the party was huge thrown in his backyard with many people there. Harry spent it by his side the whole time and he couldn't be happier. Together they talked with their friends, danced to the music that was blasting and just having good time, the party going very late into the night. The best gift (as corny as it sounded.) was Harry being there with him the whole time.

But soon after the party they had to crack the books open, the end of the school year was coming and while that meant they were free for two months it also meant exams. Hermione being the most studious of them all held a study gathering at her house, in which she had them all study for real. Even though Harry wasn't in school he still had to come in to take them, it was a bit hard with everyone whispering about him every time he entered a room or walked down the hall but all of his friends were really supportive and he managed to get through the day fine.

Ever since Harry and Draco had talked they had become closer almost becoming inseparable. They weren't suffocating each other knowing when to give each other space but they were closer and after school ended they spent more time together.

July brought Harry's birthday, in which both Sirius, Louis and James flew out to spend it with him. Actually James came at the beginning of July and Sirius and Louis came a week before his birthday. Unlike Draco's party he wanted a small party, he had close friends and his parents there with him. The party was held in the flat, Neville, the Weasley's, Hermione and Dean were among the guest. James also surprised Harry with a car as his gift, which he of course loved! As the night neared Lily brought the cake out, it was three layers of chocolate cake, covered in fudge icing, the top was a ball of fire with all the candles burning brightly.

"Make a wish!" Sirius yelled as Harry bent to blow the candles out. He stopped biting his bottom lips in concentration before smiling and with one big breath blew the candles out.

"So what did you wish for?" Draco asked him later on as they sat around talking.

Harry turned to him with a smile, his three helping of cake in his hand. "Wouldn't you like to know."

"Yeah I would come on Harry you can tell me."

"Sorry love it might not come true then." He leaned in and kissed Draco softly on the lips and Draco kissed back before a flash made them pull away.

They turned to see Louis smiling with a camera in hand. While they had kissed Harry's brother had taken a picture. "You two are so cute it makes me want to puke." He said smirking.

"Haha you're so funny Lou I almost forgot to laugh." Harry stuck out his tongue at his older brother.

"Child."

"Dork."

"Four eyes."

"Moron I wear contacts." Harry said and Draco rolled his eyes watching as the brothers fought.

Louis and Sirius left a day after Harry's birthday but James ended up staying much longer. And that's how the decision came about what to do with Harry's ticket to Rome, Italy that he got for Christmas. James and Draco also came along with Lily and Harry, which thrilled them both. Rome, Italy was gorgeous, they all agreed that the hotel they were staying at, Hotel Splendide Royal,was fantastic especially the rooftop terrace restaurant with its panoramic view and the location was great overlooking the Borghese Garden. Harry roomed with Draco and Lily with James. The two of them had been spending a great deal of time together as Harry and Draco visited many places together, but Harry was secretly pleased and knew it was only a matter of time before they got back together. On their fifth day there Draco asked if they could have dinner on the terrace restaurant and of course Harry had agreed.

After their meal came Draco asked something he had been thinking about for awhile. "Harry do you ever think about us moving in together?"

"Like now?" He asked.

"After school, when we go to college."

"Yeah, I do." Harry nodded picking up his glass and putting it to his lips. In truth he thought about them living together a lot, he already loved waking up to Draco and it would be nice to do it everyday.

Draco smiled. "So would you?" He asked still smiling.

Harry choked on his drink, he coughed but still managed to ask. "Now?" They were young and still in school could they really live together?

"No I mean after school." Draco laughed as he watched as Harry stopped coughing.

"Oh then of course."

"Good." Draco raised his glass and so did Harry and they clinked them together.

They came back mid-August with a nice tan and a great experience. Harry was still thinking about what he and Draco had talked about. Moving in together sounded like a dream, a very nice dream.

Draco knocked on door and a seconds later the door was opened by Lily who was on the phone.

"Hold on a sec. Hey Draco, Harry's downstairs in the laundry room." She smiled at him and he nodded making his down the stairs.

He entered the room and at once spotted Harry near the back of the room, most of his clothes were on the counter folded carelessly a radio next the them, but that wasn't what made Draco lean against the door and watch Harry. It was the fact that he was rapping along with the radio that made him stop.

So your girlfriend rolls a Honda,

playin' workout tapes by Fonda

But Fonda ain't got a motor in the back of her Honda

My anaconda don't want none

Unless you've got buns, hon

You can do side bends or sit-ups,

But please don't lose that butt

Some brothers wanna play that "hard" role

And tell you that the butt ain't go

So they toss it and leave it

And I pull up quick to retrieve it

So Cosmo says you're fat

Well I ain't down with that! '

Cause your waste is small and your curves are kickin'

And I'm thinkin' bout stickin'

To the beanpole dames in the magazines: You ain't it, Miss Thing!

Give me a sista, I can't resist her

Red beans and rice didn't miss her

Some knucklehead tried to dis

'Cause his girls are on my list

He had game but he chose to hit 'em

And I pull up quick to get wit 'em

So ladies, if the butt is round,

And you want a triple X throw down,

Dial 1-900-MIXALOT

And kick them nasty thoughts Baby got back!Harry finished the song and turned around surprise to see Draco clapping. "Bravo!" The blonde said laughing as he made his way to Harry who was blushing. "I knew you could sing but rap... Wow."

"Oh didn't you know I plan to be the next Eminem." Harry said still blushing but smiling.

Draco laugh and helped Harry put his clothes into a basket. "We're going to be late."

"For what?"

"Remember we're going bowling with Ron, Blaise and Hermione." Draco said and Harry's eyes widen in remembrance.

"Sorry forgot but I'll be ready in a minute." Together they took the stairs and Draco waited in the living room as Harry changed.

Bowling was fun especially since Hermione had never been and kept rolling the ball right into the gutters, much to the amusement of everyone who kept shouting tips to help her. But by the end of the night she was much better even if she kept rolling a few gutter balls. Blaise had also brought a date along, a girl from another school but she was nice to everyone so there were no problems. Afterwards the group decided to grab a bite to eat and then went their separate ways.

Draco drove Harry home. As he turned into the driveway he asked Harry. "Had fun?"

"Of course Hermione was funny." He laughed quietly to himself before he found lips descend on his.

Both kissed heatedly before pulling away for air. Since their talk they hadn't done more then kissing, Harry wasn't ready to take their relationship to that level again and Draco was more then willing to wait. But lately Harry had been thinking of letting it go further then just kissing.

"I love you."

"I love you too, bye." Draco said watching as Harry went into the complex.

Opening the door to the flat he saw his mum in the living room watching t.v and he decided to join her on the couch, resting his legs on the sofa.

"Don't put your feet on the couch." Lily said turning to him.

"How many times do you tell me that a day?" Harry laughed as he put his feet on the floor.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I've lost count."

"You hungry?" Harry stood up already making his way into the kitchen and sticking his head into the fridge and came out with yesterday's leftovers.

"Harry you know your father and I have been spending a lot of time together right?" Lily started off slowly as Harry sat down at the kitchen table with her.

Harry nodded wondering where this was going. "Well In Italy the two of us talked a lot and well..." She stopped.

"Spit it out mum." Harry said as took a forkful of food into his mouth.

"Well we're getting married or re-married I should say." The redheaded smiled.

"That's great! Why didn't you tell me sooner!" Harry stood and hugged his mum tightly who laughed and returned the hug.

"We were trying to decide on a date."

"And..."

"We want to be married by the end of August. I know its soon but we already had the big fancy wedding. This will be smaller and more intimate, we've decided to hold it in the backyard back home in New Orleans." Lily said happily and went on to tell Harry more details and he listened happy for his mum. Who wouldn't like their parents getting back together... It's what every kid wanted to happen.

"- And you'll start school in the fall in New Orleans." Lily said and Harry choked on his Mountain Dew (That's for you Sam! You and your love for MD!), coughing he stared at his mum.

"Were moving? But Draco's here and my friends." Harry placed his can down on the table still coughing.

"I know but we already decided that we would move back in with James." Lily said avoiding her son's gaze.

Harry didn't say anything as he got up from the table and went into his room closing the door behind and flopped on the bed. Fate was out to get him, Harry knew it must be that. Everything was going wonderful, he was better, he had Draco, his parents were getting back together and then his mum drops the bomb on his so-far good life. He has to move and leave Draco behind. It was like a song he had once 'Coz something's gotta go wrong Coz I'm feelin' way to damn good'.

Harry turned to his clock wondering if he should bother Draco, it was about to be one in the morning and maybe Draco was already sleeping. He would wait till tomorrow, they had a nice time tonight that he didn't want to spoil it and anyways he didn't want to talk on the phone, he preferred to tell Draco in person. kicking off his shoes and taking jeans off he laid down on his bed and fell into an uneasy sleep.

It was very late into the morning when Harry finally dragged himself out of bed and into the shower. He had been plagued by nightmares which kept him tossing and turning until he woke up at around four in the morning and fell back asleep at seven to the sounds of his mum leaving for work. Now it was nearing noon and Harry was getting out of the shower. He dried off in his room and dressed before sitting down on the bed and picking up the cordless phone. It was now or never.

Draco picked up on the second ring. "Hey love, I was just about to call you."

"Hey Draco, we need to talk." Harry got straight to the point.

"Ok what is it?" The blonde could hear the seriousness in Harry's voice and worried.

"I don't want to tell you over the phone, can we talk in person?"

"Come over. I'm baby-sitting my sisters." Draco said.

"See ya in bit."

Harry pulled into Draco's driveway and was reminded of the morning not too long ago when he had also come over to talk seriously with his boyfriend. Pushing those thoughts away he got out of the car and made for the door. Harry knocked on the door and waited for it to open which took less then a minute. Draco opened the door and looked worriedly at Harry before pulling him inside.

"'Arry!" Draco's youngest sister, Malia screamed as she ran into his arms. Harry picked her up smiling as he swung her into his arms.

"Who's the pretties blonde in the world?" Harry asked her.

"Me!" She yelled laughing.

"I thought I was?" Draco said frowning but there was amusement in his eyes.

Harry stared at him and then back at Draco's sister. "Sorry Drake but the kid wins." Malia laughed as Draco glared at him and looked as he was about to hit Harry on the arm when he back away.

"Ah I have child in my arms!" He smirked at Draco.

"Malia go play with Milla. Me and Harry have to talk." Draco said gazing at his boyfriend who laughed and whispered something in his sister's ear who giggled.

Harry set her down and she stopped right in front of Draco who gazed down at her. "Harry says he loves me more then you." She stuck out her tongue and left in a very Malfoy-grace manner.

Harry laughed as he watched Draco staring after his sister, momentarily he had forgotten that there was something very important he had to talk about with Draco.

"I thought you were going to tell me something bad, you sounded worried on the phone." Draco said and brought Harry back to reality.

"It is." He followed Draco up to his room and sat on the bed.

"What is it?"

"I'm moving." He watched for Draco's reaction but was surprised when he got none.

"Where?"

"Back home to New Orleans, my parents are getting remarried."

"When?" Still no reaction.

"End of this month. Please say something other then one word questions." Harry said running his hand through his hair, gazing up nervously at Draco.

"You can't move."

"So what am I going to then, mum already decided. Told me yesterday." Harry sighed.

Draco remained silent as he moved to sit on the bed beside Harry. "But you're suppose to stay here, finish school and we move into together when we go off to college."

"It's only a year." Harry said but even as he said it he knew that it would seem like forever to him. He like his life here, he loved Draco and didn't want to move away.

"It might as well be 10 cause that's what its going to feel like!" Draco voiced his thoughts.

"I don't want to move. I don't want to leave you." Harry said putting his head in his hands.

"Then don't." Draco said moving to the floor, grabbing Harry's hands as Harry looked at him.

"But it's been decided." He shook his head miserably.

"Then let's move in together." Draco said suddenly tightening his grip on Harry's hands.

"Now? But-"

Draco moved his hand behind Harry's neck and raised on his knees. "You love me." Harry nodded. "And I love you, so why not? And like you said it's only a year so why should it matter if we move in together now? I don't want to be away from you Harry." Harry bit his lip and looked away before gazing back at Draco.

(August 29)

You are cordially invited to the wedding of

James Edward Potter and Lily Isabella Evan

on Saturday the twenty-ninth of August

at Three o'clock...

Everything was perfect, all the guest had arrived and were seated, the weather couldn't have been better. It wasn't sweltering hot and it was too windy, but just right. The live band was set up and playing soft music as the guest talked amongst themselves, right after the wedding a reception would follow which they planned to have it right outside. A long table was already set up with platters of food that were all covered and at the center was the cake. A towering three layer cake, with a design of pink and yellow flowers draping over each, at the very top stood the bride and groom under the threshold, made out of silky lace.

The four bridesmaids came out and the band struck up 'Here Comes the Bride' while everyone stood and watched as the bridesmaids walked down the aisle. As the last bridesmaid walked down Lily came out smiling with a bouquet of red roses in her hands. She was wore a beautiful, silky satin one piece dress, strapless straight skirt with back slit and front pleats. Embroidery, silver beading, and hand made flowers from left toward middle of bodice. She looked truly stunning in it and James smiled as he took his soon-to-be wife's hand. Together they faced the priest and the wedding started.

Harry watched happily as his parents got married, he was one of the four groomsman along with Sirius being the best man, Remus and Louis. They were nearing the end when Harry's gaze moved to the crowd, most of the guest were watching the couple, but soon his gaze met gray eyes. Yup Draco had come to the wedding and was sitting near the front with his parents and two little sisters. Draco gave him a wink and Harry's smile widen before he turned back to his parents.

"Now by the power invested in me I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." The priest said.

James didn't need telling twice as his lips met Lily. They pulled away to many applause and shouts.

The past three weeks had been hectic for everyone, especially for Lily who was planning a wedding and moving at the same time. Even though it was a small wedding with only 40 guest, there was still many things to plan, getting invitations out, buying the cake, food, dresses and all the things that went along with a wedding. But it came together well enough in the end. Now everyone was enjoying the music and food while James and Lily went around greeting everyone personally.

Harry was getting a soda from the food table when arms wrapped around his waist.

"Miss me?" A low voice whispered into his ear.

Harry turned around and smiled at Draco. "Of course I did, you know its been like 2 hours since I last saw you." Draco laughed and kissed Harry on the lips.

"Hey PAD, you two!" Louis called out at the end of the table his own girlfriend, Samantha was right there by his side.

"Shut it Lou!" Harry yelled back and poured two cups of soda handing one to Draco who took it.

"So when are your parents leaving?" The pair started walking around smiling to random guest.

"Tomorrow morning their catching an early flight to Puerto Rico."

"Oh so we'll see them off." Draco said as he spotted his sisters playing with other children that were brought to the wedding.

"Yup and then we leave in the afternoon." Harry sat down on one of the spare chairs and Draco sat in front of him.

"To our flat." Draco beamed and faced Harry.

"To our flat." Harry nodded a smile on his own lips.

A/n- You know after writing it, then reading it to make sure everything connects and makes sense, then re-reading to correct mistakes and double checking it.... All you want to do is get the damn chapter over and done with so you never have too look at it again!! I love this chapter but damn I'm sick of it and if I read it again... Well you don't want to know.

Anyways please tell me what you think of this chapter... Which is kind of like the end. BUT there is an EPILOGUE so it's not over yet. The epilogue will be like five years ahead so you can see what became of everyone!! I see another wedding in the future... Any guesses?

Then after that it's the :dramatic drums in the background: .........THE DEATH CHAPTER!!! Alternative ending in which Harry will DIE!! Hey what can I say I'm an evil bitch!! But to let you all know I will be in hiding... SO TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT!!!!!!

Sorry to everyone who waited so long for this chapter, It's been like five or six months since my last update and I remember saying I wouldn't make you wait that long but I'm sorry. I got busy with school, work and then this chapter is the longest at 26 pages long and the hardest to write. Add to that I went through ALL my stories correcting mistakes.. Yeah well you have it now! And I hope you liked it cause this was the best I could do!

Special thanks to Carla once again for putting me back together when this story made me crazy!

Oh and I might get this other job soon... So everyone please pray that I get it... Please!

Now on to thanking my beautiful reviewers...

Frozenbutterfly- This story is my baby, as annoying it can be some times I love it to death! And really thank you very much for you absolutely lovely review! I give you my blessing to marry it if you like... But really I have no writing talent... I just write. What did you mean by having my permission to use some of my talent... Me and talent funny! But whatever I can help you with I'll be more then happy and you have my permission!

Morgan Fey- Your review just made me laugh! Thanks for that!

HpDeVoTeE- As you saw they weren't really over... I'm not that cruel, ok I am because in the alternative ending Harry will die....

Queen Antigone- Love the review thank you ;-)

Wildfire2- It was only a little bit of blood on the hands... And anyways Harry wouldn't let Draco touch him.

shola- 'u were sweet as a bitch im on my computer' ---- Great line, I will remember that one!

Belle- CONGRATULATIONS!! Have a fun college!

SweetSorrow1- Hey, sorry for all the mistakes but I went back and corrected most of the chapters... But I'm might use you as a beta-reader for Simple kind of life.. Ok? Thanks!

Flame Rhiannon- Thank you for putting the rifle away and I put them back together see.... So please don't kill me. :sweat drop:

The It- I love how you started your review.... Darling and then you want to kill me.. No love.... But I love ya and thanks!

Coreys-angel- Poor little Harry all alone and psychologically scarred... I don't know why but I burst out laughing after I read that line. Thanks!

Sunflower seed- You must of have been the only person to like the ending of the last chapter... But thank you all the same.

Pirate Bitch nut- Aw come back and stop crying... See :Shoves Harry and Draco into you: Their back together and happy. :Gives a big smile:

Rowenna7- Ok won't call you girlie no more... How about dude? Sup dude how ya doing? Thanks for the review!

rivers-webb- Aw sorry I reduce to begging but how did you like the chapter... Was it to your liking?

driven to insanity- One more chapter to go!

Alym- I'm good thanks for asking, y tu? Thanks for the review!

Maximum Poofy- Thanks for the support and they got back together see... How come you're not updating. I would love to see how Harry gets better in your story.

Serpencencia- I love you so much girl that I put something just for you in the story, did you like it? Well I hope you liked this chapter... It was hard but you know that, I've only told you so many times! Now I expect a LONG review from you missy, no excuses!

Bad-Azz-Slytherin Chaos- There is a happy ending but in the alternative ending its more bittersweet then happy. Not really too sad... Ok its sad I'm killing Harry but I hope you'll give it a read and tell me what you think of it.... Please?

Benjis VIP- Thank you for the first to review the last chapter! Hope you liked this one!

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Alright I have to jet but thanks again for all the support through this story. If it wasn't you guys I wouldn't have done it! Until next time which will be the last...

Goodbye!