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Hot and Coldby Sheryl Martin
Dana Scully sighed as she picked at the salad with her fork; carefully making sure every lettuce leaf was coated with some dressing. Next to her, Jackie St. George raised an eyebrow as she drained her beer.
"You called?" She smiled, lifting her glass to the waitress for a refill. "You know, I think this beer is much more nutritious than that rabbit food..."
The redhead couldn't help smiling in return. "I think I'd like to see the studies you read to come to that conclusion." She munched quietly for a few more minutes, until Jackie had received her refill.
"Jackie..." She pursed her lips, trying to find the right words. "Do you ever get... tired?"
The Canadian paused, knowing what she meant in the international language of law enforcement. "Hell, yes." She stared into the foam. "About every ten minutes, these days..." Reaching over, the woman plucked a single leaf from the salad. "You know how many chemicals they spray on this stuff?"
Dana chuckled. "I think I've heard a few things about that..." She paused. "I just seem so..."
"Burnt out? Less than frosty?" St. George offered cheerfully. Scully scowled at her.
"You don't need to be that helpful." She grumbled.
"Hey, I'm the one who has the sessions with your most helpful partner..." Jackie stopped for a second. "That's it, isn't it?"
"What?"
A soft smile lit up her face as she leaned in towards Scully. "You're having trouble thinking of him as just a partner, aren't you?"
Angrily waving her fork in the air, she shook her head. "No, no... though I know you'd like to see that..."
"Wait a minute, Dana..." St. George sighed. "Promise, no kidding... for at least five minutes." She smiled as the waitress brought their steaks; slathering the mushrooms across her own thick slab. "Don't even say it."
Cutting off a piece, she thoughtfully looked at the FBI agent. "First thing, this isn't anything new. I've seen it; you've seen it. And the fact that you're getting emotionally involved with your partner doesn't necessarily mean you wanna jump his bones..."
"With Mulder... I've never had a partner for so long before..." Dana sliced her meat cleanly with the knife. "I mean, I usually get transferred around within a Section..." "For that very same reason, stupid." Jackie sighed. "Talk to any two cops on the beat in New York City, or Toronto, or London, or Melbourne. Mostly male, and if you even hinted at anything deeper they'd put you through the wall..." She drained the glass again. "And then you get sloppy; and then you find that you're not as frosty as you should be for certain assignments and such..." "How do you know so much?" Dana tried to steer the talk for a second. "You forgot that I'm engaged?" The dark-haired woman flipped her ponytail back over her shoulder. "Unfortunately, that simple fact seems to have permeated everything I do... every time I go through that door I wonder if I'm not going to leave a widower behind..." "And your judgment is impaired?" "No..." Jackie chewed thoughtfully for a second. "More fixed. More intense because I know that there's more than just me to worry about; that if I die right here, right now that there's more of an effect on the world than just a few notes in a few files and a nice grave beside my parents." Her eyes drifted to the bracelet on her wrist. "That the circle is much wider than it has ever been in my life..." She sheepishly smiled at Dana. "Much wider." Dana sat quietly, pondering this. "Mom... she worries about me. More now, since..." She motioned towards the door. "Not that she doesn't have good reason..." "Right." St. George attacked the potato. "The game is more intense, and you know that you're playing a different set of odds... and, honestly, you and Mulder have been through a lot of... heavy stuff together." "You've been reading our files." "If you leave them on your desk when you go out for tea, I do." The Canadian chuckled. "And if that is true, then why wouldn't you and him have a special bond; one that certainly supersedes what most regular partners do and have... and that makes you stronger at the same time that it makes you more vulnerable. And suddenly the rules have changed and you don't have a playbook; only what your gut tells you..." She thought about the coldness she had received from Mulder lately; the conflicting signals. One minute standing aloof from her; keeping a good distance - then suddenly darting in front of her to physically cut off anyone looking at her in the wrong way; silently staring down anyone's resistance to her thoughts and theories. And Dana smiled. "He's doing the same thing; isn't he? Stepping back to try and get his balance?" "You've been stealing his psych magazines again... Though the latest copy of the Gunmen had a great article on the debt crisis of your government..." Jackie winked. "Hey, I'm nothing more than a street kid who got lucky and ended up here." Dana looked at her closely. "I wonder about you sometimes..." "Hell, Marty does that on a daily basis..." "Shut up and eat your vegetables." **************************"In order to live free and happily, you must sacrifice boredom. It is not always an easy sacrifice."Richard Bach - "Illusions"**************************