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What Is To Be
-Epilogue-
By Annie
2004-02-19
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Dawn came running from the drawing room when she heard the front door open. She was latched to Buffy the next moment and the Slayer laughed as she hugged her sister back, the formers luggage rumbling to the floor as she lost her grip on them.
"I'm so glad you're here," Dawn stated and Buffy smiled.
"Me too," she agreed as they let each other go and Dawn turned to Willow.
"I'm so glad you're here," she repeated with a giggle, embracing the Wicca who laughed as well.
"Buffy," Giles said, coming down the stairs to join in the reunion.
She smiled up at him and then hugged him hard.
"It's good to be home," she said as they stepped away from each other and he returned her smile.
Dawn turned to Buffy with a questioning look as the third party had yet to arrive. Buffy looked seriously at her sister for a moment, and Dawn's eyes began to grow worried, but then the door swung open and Spike stumbled through it –weighed down with luggage, which was his own fault since mostly all of it belonged to him.
"Spike!" Dawn squealed with delight, jumping on him and hugging him so hard that he lost his balance and they tumbled to the floor. "I can't believe it's really you! Say something, quick! No, never mind. I have to feel your pulse! Wow, you're so warm. No 'ripping my head off and drinking from my brains stem' now, huh?" she laughed and he joined her, shaking his head at her as he struggled to get the bags away from him in order to look at her.
Finally he was able to rest back on his elbows and she gave him a radiant smile where she sat straddling his thighs.
"Niblet," he said, staring at how grown she looked in only a year.
At the mention of the well-known nickname Dawn hugged him again, on the verge of tears.
"You're back, you're really back!" she repeated over and over until Buffy had to stop the spectacle and help them both to their feet.
"Let the poor guy breathe," she reprimanded, but she was still wearing her smile as well. "Come on," she added, addressing Spike. "I wanna show you around."
"I wanna come too!" Dawn chimed in and Buffy nodded, reaching out a hand to Spike who took it in one of his and had Dawn gape at them both.
She followed in teeth-gritting-with-curiosity silence as they began up the stairs, and after Buffy had shown Spike around the third floor the younger Summers couldn't hold it in any longer.
"You never said anything about you two being together!"
Buffy stopped, turning to her sister with her eyebrows raised.
"I wasn't sure it was any of your business," she replied and Dawn flushed with indignation.
"Not any of my business – are you completely crazy?! I watched you guys... evolve from... banana flies to... butter... flies!" she tried at a retort, but it merely had the two blondes exchange a glance and then a fit of laughter. "Or... something," Dawn grumbled, annoyed with their humor at her expense.
"Come on, Lil'Bit," Spike said, seeing her sour expression. "It's not something your sister wanted to discuss with you over the phone, you have to understand that."
Dawn's features grew a shade lighter as she looked at him, and then she smiled.
"I still think it was a rotten thing to do!" she withheld, but Buffy smiled as well and it seemed the matter was settled. "But I'm glad," she added and Buffy's smile widened before she kissed her sister's cheek.
"So are we," she assured and Dawn smirked, watching them mischievously and when they finally leaned forward and shared a soft kiss her smirk turned into a grin.
"Wow. It's so weird to think that two years ago I'd have bet twenty bucks without even blinking on you two never getting along, especially like this," she commented and at that both Slayer and ex-Vamp smiled widely.
"That's exactly what Faith said," Buffy stated. "I can't see how we were able to establish such lack of belief in us, in everybody."
Dawn merely rolled her eyes at that before walking passed the two, who shared another smile and then followed her.
***
Buffy looked at herself in the mirror. Her nerves were dancing the jitter- bug, but she didn't mind it at all since it was in such a nice way this evening.
It was Saturday, and she knew that Spike had been waiting for her downstairs for nearly fifteen minutes.
What? She had to let him sweat a little bit, what kind of first date would it be if she didn't? Of course, he knew that she was coming down. And of course he didn't for a moment think that she might have changed her mind. But she still liked the suspense. He didn't know that she was wearing a new dress, and she had no idea what he would be in. Probably a nice suit...
Her own garment went in a soft, blue tone. It stopped an inch below her knees and had a flow-y feel to it as the fabric was light silk for the first layer, and on top that were two layers of see-through material colored a lighter blue. The cut was simple, but enhanced her figure and plunged steeply to show off her back.
She wore her hair let out, her blonde locks cascading over her shoulders in a way that she knew he loved.
She smiled at a memory before grabbing her pocketbook, deciding that it was time to join him.
Walking down the stairs she drew a small breath to steady herself. When he came into view, looking up at her, she smiled at his taken expression. He was wearing a suit, indeed. A charcoal one and a blue tie which went wonderfully with the color of his eyes. He was the handsomest creature she had ever seen and she smiled again, this time at him. He returned it and reached out a hand to escort her down the last few steps.
"You look absolutely stunning," he murmured. "Though that's nothing new... Wow."
Her smile broadened with satisfaction.
"You don't look all that bad yourself," she remarked warmly, standing on her toes to give him a peck on the cheek.
He smiled at the movement. She seemed set on keeping their relationship low- key this evening, making the feel of the first date all that more palpable. He didn't mind. He loved the way she looked, he adored her aloofness since it made him want her even more, and he looked forward to making this night something special. After all they had been through to get here, they deserved it. She deserved it.
"So," she said as he hooked his arm for her and she slipped her hand through the loop. "Where are we going?"
"That's a surprise," he replied and she smirked.
"I knew you were gonna say that," she stated and he returned her smirk before walking with her up to the front door.
"Can't I take ONE picture?" Dawn's voice was heard from the drawing room.
"No," Buffy replied. "We're not off to prom, for crying out loud. Now, good night."
"I won't wait up!" Dawn called as the two stepped out through the door and closed it behind them.
Buffy drew a breath of the fresh May air and looked up at the stars spangling the sky with their far away might.
"Look at that," she said, her voice filled with a dreaminess he found fascinating.
He looked at her instead and she must have seen it out of the corner of her eye because she smiled and remarked:
"You're not looking."
"I'm looking really hard, Slayer," he mumbled and she turned her gaze in his at that. "Couldn't you tell?" he added and she felt her cheeks blush slightly under his prodding eyes, wondering when he would ever stop being able to do that to her.
"Are you driving?" she changed the subject and he smiled slightly before he shook his head, and as though it was timed to perfection a horse-drawn buggy stopped by the sidewalk in front of the steps leading down to it.
"Oh, no," Buffy mumbled. "Don't tell me you're gonna be doing this all night?" she added, but her eyes shone of merriment and delight and he merely smiled at her question before ushering her down the steps and helping her up in the seat.
He took his place by her side and then told the driver they could move along. The driver nodded and got the horse into a light pace, the sound of its hooves connecting with the pavement echoing between the houses.
"This is so nice," Buffy mused, resting her head on Spike's shoulder and he put an arm around her, pulling her close.
"And still it's only the first treat," he said and she smiled widely with anticipation.
They arrived, twenty minutes later, outside a nice and romantic little restaurant by the Themes. The light in the windows tattled of the interior being friendly and welcoming, and that it was. The building was a replica of an old Victorian Inn, and the ceiling was low, the tables made of polished wood and the only light available was that of burning candles positioned everywhere in the room.
They were shown to a table and Spike pulled out Buffy's chair for her, making her smile at him before she took a seat. He moved around and sat down opposite her.
He couldn't take his eyes off her. She was so beautiful it made him ache with the thought of her sitting there, before him, loving him back. He had thought, but not dared to hope that this day would ever actually present itself where he could reach out and touch her hand without having her flinch back in disgust and fear. And now there she was, looking at him in the same way that he felt for her. He could never make her understand how much she meant to him. But he would try.
"I remember the first time I saw you," he said and she tilted her head a little to one side, questioningly. "The very first time... at the Bronze. You were dancing and for one second something inside me was convinced that I had never lived for a moment, until THAT moment... You scared me, Buffy; but not as much as I scared myself. This history we have... without it, we wouldn't be sitting here." She shook her head, her eyes once more filled with tears and he smiled a small smile, reaching out one hand and taking one of hers. "You're the most amazing, incredible, talented, funny, intelligent, beautiful woman I've ever known, and there will never be anyone else for me."
She swallowed, trying to have the liquid his words produced not ruin her carefully applied makeup. She was failing.
"For me either," she then got out, thinking it sounded immensely meek. "I mean it," she added, taking his hand in a firmer grip.
He smiled.
"I know," he said just as the waitress came up with their menus.
They ordered, enjoyed the fabulous meal they were served, and talked. They talked about their past and their present, for hours. For some reason they avoided diving into the future.
Buffy guessed she was a little bit freaked out by the idea of getting their own place. Of actually living together. What if something happened and they didn't make it? What if he tired of her? She knew she was being ridiculous, but she couldn't help it. The step was too big NOT to worry over. They had been on ONE date after this evening. True, they had lived together in very intimate and close proximity now for over a week's time, but...
"Are you done?" he asked and she glanced down at her half-eaten chocolate mousse.
"Yes," she then replied and he nodded.
He paid the bill, and they left the restaurant with many compliments to the chef about a fantastic dinner. Getting back into the buggy they were off again, Buffy still clueless as to their next destination. They drove down a quiet street, and then stopped. Buffy looked around, quizzical.
"What's this?" she asked and he smiled, getting out and helping her to do the same before he made a gesture to the building before which they stood.
"This," he answered, "is where I was born."
She stared at him, then at the large brick house, and then she smiled.
This was truly something.
She had another look around the street.
"Does it look the same?" she asked and he nodded.
"Pretty much. There are some new houses... the trees weren't here when I was little... and the pavement wasn't either," he said and she had the cutest picture of him as a little boy running around playing with his friends before her eyes.
It had her smile widen once again and for some reason it felt as though the mere act he had performed in taking her to such a personal place brought her even closer to him. They walked down the street and he pointed out a few spots to her which carried specific memories to him. She soaked it all up with an interest that never wavered, holding his hand in a tight clasp and watching his face as he spoke just as much as she was their surroundings.
"Thank you," she said when they stopped as they were back at their original position and he tilted his head to one side, the glint in his eyes making her smile.
He smiled back and then he pulled her to him, hugging her close to him and she held him back. They pulled apart, looking at each other before laughing a little at how they kept getting so caught up in the other. Climbing back into the buggy they then were once again moving.
"Know something?" Buffy whispered.
"What?" he whispered back.
"I really love you," she said, brushing the tip of her nose against his and he smiled.
"I really love you too," he replied and she mirrored his smile before their lips met carefully.
The kiss deepened and she slipped her arms around his neck.
This was living!
She sighed as they eventually pulled apart, contentedly.
"We going home now?" she asked, her eyes veiled with a sudden desire which had a suction occur in his stomach, not at all unpleasant; but he shook his head.
"There's one more stop," he said and she didn't push for more information, merely rested back into his arms and enjoyed the ride he so neatly was taking her on.
They entered Hyde Park, slowly maneuvering on the promenades and then coming to a halt at a spot where the moon was painting silver in the grass, the soft dew making the green glitter. Weeping willows were scattered toward the horizon of their view and their branches hung heavily to the ground.
It was perfectly enchanting.
The two lovers once more got out of their equipage and Spike again took Buffy's hand, thanking the driver and asking him to return for them in an hour. The driver nodded and drove off. Buffy looked around and then spotted something in the middle of the grass.
"What's that?" she asked and Spike smiled, pulling her with him as he began to walk towards it.
As they got closer she realized it was candles, their dancing flames spreading a tentative glow in the blue shadow of the park. They surrounded a blanket and Buffy felt her eyes well up as she looked at the scene, being filled with a gratitude toward the man at her side that she didn't know if she had ever truly experienced before. Gratitude for his love taking him to the place where he wanted to do this for her. She knew she would treasure the memory for the rest of her life.
"Spike," she breathed, and he smiled at how she dropped back into the use of that name.
He couldn't be anything but warmed by how tenderly she said it now, as though it was her own nickname for him, and like she didn't connect it at all with his past except for the good or important moments they had shared together.
He made her sit down and then splayed himself out beside her, putting his hands behind his head and looking at her. She gazed back, smile still on, and then she lay down as well in the same position; having him chuckle before they both took to, for a second time that evening, gazing up at the stars above them.
"They're pretty," Buffy stated and Spike smiled widely before he nodded.
"That they are," he agreed.
They easily slipped into conversation about the earth as it was, with demons and people in two different worlds, and weighing the pros and cons. Half an hour passed and then Spike gently kissed her. She kissed him back and deepened it languorously. Putting her forehead to his she then took a breath and he gave her another quick kiss before saying:
"Buffy..."
"Yes?" she asked, her focus still on the taste of his lips.
"There's something... here!" he suddenly exclaimed as there was a growl and a body threw itself over them. "Bloody hell!" he added as he managed to put a foot in the being's stomach and throw it over his head.
Buffy was on her feet in the next instant, watching as the vampire rose to its feet, showing its teeth and growling.
"Sorry to disappoint," she said. "I never cared much for being considered as fast food," she added, bringing out the stake she had put in her pocketbook.
"Slayer!" it hissed. "What the bugger 're you doin' in England?"
"I'm afraid I'm moving in," she replied and the vamp's eyes grew slightly right before it attacked.
She took its blows easily, spun around and sunk the tip of her sharp weapon into the lethal spot of its ribcage. It turned to dust and she moved out of the way for its ashes before turning back to where Spike had risen.
"Are they morons?" she asked. "Haven't they noticed during this passed year that there's probably... ten other slayers in this country?"
Spike smirked at that, watching as she threw the stake aside and then came up to him.
"Now," she said, "where were we?"
He grabbed her hands when she was about to slip them up his chest and she cocked an eyebrow, wondering.
"I brought you here 'cause this was a place we've never been to together... I guess you always bring a piece of the past with you, though," he said and she still looked inquiring as to his point, so he continued: "I wanted this place to be the fresh setting for... a new start. But our friend," he emphasized the last word and had Buffy smile before he went on: "made me conclude that there's no need for it. We are who we are, and we'll always be this way. There will always be this knowledge of another dimension, of other creatures... Our new start happened the moment you said that you loved me. The rest is irrelevant. Buffy, I need you more than anything else. I need to see your face everyday or I feel like there's no real meaning to waking. I need to feel you close to me 'cause otherwise it's like I lose touch with myself. You're this part of me now that I can't live without and now you're crying," she smiled at the remark, brushing at her tears, "but I think that you know I'd never hurt you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
A small sob escaped her, though it was just as happy as her tears and she sniffled a little before she replied:
"And I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
He looked at her for a long moment, then as he put one hand in the inside pocket of his jacket he asked:
"Are you sure?"
She nodded, not picking up on the movement until it was the hand being brought out again, holding something. She blinked at the liquid obscuring her sight and then her gaze fell on what was held between his thumb and index finger. She swallowed; her heart slowing down until she could barely feel it.
White cold fitted a beautifully cut white diamond.
She knew no words. Language had eluded her in quiet mockery of how sure she was of what she wanted.
She had her eyes in his again.
He didn't think; his whole existence was made out of waiting for her reaction. He wasn't sure how to interpret her silence. Was it good, or was it bad? Was she not ready? Was he moving to fast with this?
"You... don't like it?" he finally asked and it was as though the mental clasp was broken and she finally got word over tongue.
"Yes," she said and he smiled tentatively, though with obvious relief.
"Good. I wasn't sure of what cut you wanted and the clerk went into a lot of different styles which pretty much spun my head but..."
"No," she cut him off and he blinked, staring at her. "No. What I mean is... yes," she then said and now he truly stared at her. "Yes!" she repeated and his face finally split into a smile she had seen on him once before and that memory had her almost laughing.
God, it was real this time! That amazing ring was for her, and HE had picked it. HE had taken the time to plan this whole thing so that she would be able to look back and say to their grandchildren "And when grandpa asked grandma to spend the rest of her life with him it was in a beautiful place and it was the first time they were there together. There was a vampire there for about three seconds, but since grandma made it go to... a warmer place, it doesn't exactly count. The moment was perfect and all because your grandpa loves your grandma so very much, and THAT'S what you all should be looking for."
Somewhere between "God" and her speech for her so far non-existent offspring's offspring she had moved into his arms and she drew a deep breath of his scent before pulling back and finding his mouth with her own. The kiss deepened immediately and then she ended it softly, taking a small step back as he took her left hand in his. She watched as he held the ring ceremoniously before the finger on which it belonged
forever and ever
and then he cautiously slipped it on.
It fit like flowers in a vase and she smiled another bright smile before he pulled her to him once more, joining their lips in a lingering kiss.
***
They snuck into the house at half past one, keeping quiet as they made their way upstairs (Dawn had apparently made good on her promise not to wait up) and closing the door of the bedroom they had been assigned. Giles had merely said he didn't want to hear any funny business in the making, and Spike had said under his breath that they had better keep it down then, which had forced Buffy to stifle her laughter.
They got undressed slowly, enjoying every movement and every silent noise that their clothes made falling to the floor. Their hands ran the others body with care and knowledge of what spots to choose in order to get the preferred effect. Spike moved to lean her against the wall and kissed her neck before catching her mouth and kissing her fervently. She put a leg up and around his waist and he entered her, filling her to the edge of driving her clear over the edge, having her breathing grow deeper as she clung to him.
They didn't sleep that night.
***
"You know that I'm not expecting us to get married in three months," he said the next morning.
They were lying face to face and hadn't looked away from each other for over two hours. She smiled now, nodding a little.
"Yeah, I know," she said. "And you know that I feel the same way, right?" she added and he returned her smile, nodding as well.
"Yeah. We'd better find a place to live first and... live there for a while. Right? Just be... together," he finished and her smile grew.
"Right," she concurred. "Just be together. Pick out furniture. Grow some roots. Have a baby."
His eyes lit up at that input.
"You'd want that?" he asked and she laughed.
"Well, duh!" she replied. "Of course I want a family, we already had this discussion!"
"Yeah, I remember. But a real, actual baby?"
She laughed again, moving forward and kissing him on the mouth.
"Yes, a living breathing replica of YOU," she stated and he cocked an eyebrow.
"No, no, of YOU," he disagreed and she smiled.
"Let's say he or she can have your smarts and my vigor," she suggested and it was his turn to laugh.
"I think that if our son or daughter has all your traits he or she will be a perfect little person," he returned and she smirked.
"We'll never agree on this," she pointed out.
"Better let nature have its course," he said and she smiled again.
"I want to go back to school," she then stated and he raised his eyebrows, this time a little surprised. "You don't mind that, do you?" she asked and the mere look on his face gave her all the answer she needed.
"What do you want to be?" he asked and she gave a little shrug.
"I don't know. Something fun like... a food critic," she answered and he smiled widely at that, which she returned. "I've been thinking a lot about it for the past few days since there was so much talk about the Slayer's last fight and how I'd somehow put that part of my life aside, and I recall something Kendra once told me, that the Slayer isn't what I do, it's not my job – it's who I am."
"She was a smart lady," Spike mumbled, feeling rather shameful as he knew what end the smart lady faced in his demonically screwy ex-girlfriend.
Buffy gave him a smile to tell him that she hadn't brought Kendra up for the sake of her demise and then continued:
"She WAS a very smart lady, but the thing is that even though she said the words, I was the one who taught them to her. I made her realize that this is the truth of the slayers nature. I've just forgotten about it for a while, especially since the nature isn't solely my own anymore. What I'm trying to say is that I will always be her, I'll always be the Slayer. I'll always put on the 'good fight' and be the protector for those who might need it... but it's not my job. And I NEED a job. I liked college. I hated giving it up. I want to make something more of my life. I've always wanted that. I think you know that."
He smirked his affirmation and she smiled back, entwining their fingers.
"We're facing the really scary deal of the whole package," she said. "You, me and the really real world. Think we'll make it?"
"I know we will," he replied with conviction and she leaned forward to grant him yet another kiss.
***
"Could you hand me the jam, please?" Buffy asked an hour and a half later, seated at the breakfast table to the left of a paper-reading Giles, to the right of a croissant chewing Dawn and a bread-buttering Willow, and with her still not official fiancé before her.
He gave her a smile and then reached across the table to give her what she wanted.
"Thanks, hon," she said sweetly.
"Your welcome, darling," he replied and there was a low click of a tongue behind the paper.
Buffy rolled her eyes and then put the jam down on the table as she asked:
"Do you have any objection against William?"
"What was that?" the Watcher inquired, bringing the paper down and looking at her quizzically.
"Against William," she repeated. "Any objections against him being here? Or my being with him in every sense of those two words?"
"This is a place for eating and reading and I shall not tolerate crudeness," he stated reproachfully. "We can discuss this a little later."
"No, we can discuss this now," Buffy shook her head. "Do you disapprove of Will? And if you do I'd like a liable explanation why you won't let the old hatchet be buried once and for all."
Giles sighed, putting down his paper completely and then looking from one to the next.
"I don't disapprove," he finally admitted.
Buffy looked rather disbelieving but he smiled a genuine smile and then looked at Spike, who seemed rather taken aback by the conversation all together.
"You don't?" Buffy now demanded.
"No," Giles answered, growing a bit serious and then having a streak of sadness in his features before he cleared his throat and said: "I'm happy for you. For the both of you. It's seems it's been a long time coming, the two of you calling each other such affectionate names... I surely do remember the first time I bore witness to such events." Spike and Buffy shared a humorous glance at that, but it was interrupted as Giles finished: "I shall miss you, is what I want to have said."
Buffy frowned, not following.
"I suppose I will be able to come and visit you," he added. "And you me. Once you're settled. Will you be living in California once more, or will you be looking for another state altogether? I believe a house in any part of New England can never be considered a bad idea."
"Oh, no," Dawn spoke up, looking a little worriedly at her sister. "Are we moving back to America? Really? I mean, I know I'm from there and I love it and everything, but all my friends! And school! And..."
"We're not leaving England," Buffy cut her short and Dawn closed her mouth.
"You're not?" Giles asked, not able to filter out the hope in his tone.
"No," Buffy stated. "In fact, we're not leaving London. Well, at least I don't think we are, and if we are then we're not going very far."
Spike nodded his agreement and she smiled at him.
"What's that?" Willow suddenly asked, staring at Buffy's left hand with widening eyes.
"What's what?" Buffy wondered, oblivious to her friend's growing fixation with what so prettily acted as decoration.
"That huge sparkly thing that's sitting on your finger!" Willow exclaimed, rising from her chair and coming around the table to have a closer look.
Dawn rose as well, her very being seemed shaken to the core that she herself hadn't been the first to notice and she grabbed Buffy's hand in a hard grip as she stared at the testimony to what had been going on the night prior.
"Oh my God!" she yelled. "You're getting married!"
"You're getting married?!" Giles asked and Buffy clenched her jaws together as her arm was jerked back even farther and then she pulled it out of the grasp and massaged her wrist a little as she replied:
"Yes, eventually we hope to have a beautiful wedding. But for now you should be screaming 'You're engaged?!'"
Spike smirked at that and she smiled back before being brutally embraced by two of the closest people she had in the world.
"This is amazing!" Dawn squeaked, jumping up and down.
"It is," Willow nodded. "But I swear I'll kill you if you make me wear the same kind of bridesmaid's dress as Anya did."
Buffy laughed at that.
"You'll be astonishing, I promise," she then replied. "I promise I won't go for teal or anything loud in color and you'll get to choose the cut yourself, sound good?"
"Lovely," Willow nodded.
"We'll have to plan the whole thing! Have you set a date?" Dawn asked and Buffy smiled at her excitement before she answered:
"No, hence the reaction-should-be comment. We're engaged, indefinitely. We'll set a date when we're ready."
"But you ARE ready! You are! Oh, a summer wedding would be terrific! Out under the trees. Good thing you don't have to worry about the deadly rays of the sun anymore, huh, fangy?" Dawn teased and Spike gave her a friendly glare before she continued to rant. "Or maybe a winter wedding would be better. Inside with a big party and snow outside. It should even be snowing, that would be the perfect setting!"
"Mh-hmh, and you plan on ordering a few hours of snowing from...?" Buffy asked, but Dawn was too caught up in her own musings that she didn't pay any heed to her sister.
Buffy shook her head at her and then turned it to Giles, who looked one the one hand shocked and on the other truly happy for her.
"Let me see that," he said and she held out her hand to him. "Nice choice, if I do say," he stated with a glance at Spike, who smiled tryingly. "Congratulations," the Watcher then added with his eyes in his Slayer's and she had tears glisten in them before she rose and went to embrace him.
"Remember what I asked you the first time?" she asked as they pulled apart and his eyebrows rose. "I want you to give me away, Giles. I'd be honored if you would."
"No," he shook his head. "I will be honored TO."
She smiled widely at that and then embraced him again.
Spike was just being attacked by his sometime to be sister-in-law and the Wicca, who were both apologetic for not hugging him sooner and therefore hugged him all the more harder. He didn't mind it in the least. It was one of the happiest days of his existence and he would savor every last facet of it, even if one of them were him being slowly suffocated by two pairs of slim arms.
Half an hour later they had toasted in champagne and were just finishing drinking out their glasses when there was a ring on the doorbell. Willow went to open and there was a cry of surprise in the form of the visitors name, which had the rest also rush out into the hall.
"Xander!" Buffy exclaimed as the man himself stepped through the door, putting down his bags for embracing the Wicca. "What are you doing here?!"
"I was in the neighborhood," he replied with a smile, letting Willow go and opening his arms for the Slayer and her sister who hugged him tight and then stepped back. "And that wasn't just a sarcastic remark either," he added. "I'm actually here on work for a few months."
"That's so great!" Buffy said and he nodded before reaching out his hand to shake Giles'.
"Good to see you," Giles said and Xander smiled, taking a step forward and giving the Watcher a hug as well.
"The same," he then replied, stepping back and turning his gaze in the former vampire's.
There was a long moment of tension, and then Xander reached out his hand to the bleached blonde as he had Giles. Spike looked at it for a short second and then he moved forward and took it in a firm grip.
"Good that you're back," Xander said, his voice carrying only a small hint of a strain, but the words sounded as though he meant them, especially when he added: "Buffy was a mess when you were gone. Sorry, Buff, but you were. So it's good... that you're here," he finished, and Spike gave a nod before they let each other's hands go.
Buffy looked from one to the other and then she took a step forward.
"We have some news," she said.
Xander smiled, moving a hand to take her left and having his fingers grace the ring before he stated:
"I noticed." She smiled back and then he put his arms around her in a warm hug. "I know it sounds like the most unoriginal thing to say, but I'm happy for you."
Buffy's smile merely widened and her eyes landed in Spike's, his face reflecting her expression.
They were gathered again. The small tightly knit group who had seen it all begin. It was as it should be, and Spike was glad that Xander had been able to join up with the posse. The Scoobs under one roof once more. A past, a present and a future was what Spike knew they would share. The people he looked upon now were his family, as they were Buffy's family, and something light and fuzzy tickled his heart at the thought of growing old with them. Of seeing Dawn develop into the bright woman he could already see in her. In following Willow's progress within her coven. In seeing if the whelp... no, if Xander finally found the happiness he so clearly had been lacking since he lost his truest love. And in working out his relationship with the man who Buffy considered her father.
And then... creating with Buffy a family and a solid base for that future which stretched out before them as a wide and vast sea. What a journey that still awaited them. He was looking forward to it more than he had anything ever before. It was exhilarating to think of the opportunities they would most surely have and the choices they would have to make.
He felt as though a few memories were somehow already imbedded in his mind.
Buffy in an unbelievable creation of white.
The sound of a baby's loud crying.
Lifting that baby as it had grown into a child high in the air. For some reason he found himself seeing it being a daughter. She had Buffy's bright smile and his own blue eyes and she laughed loudly when he put her on his shoulders...
Yeah, he saw their future.
And it was nothing but what he had always known it would be.
Perfect.
**************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** ******************
I can barely believe that it's over. I guess you noticed that the "one" chapter more or less turned into a sixteen pages extravaganza and so I divided them up since there were so much I wanted to get in to the ending. Which I very, very much hope that you enjoyed.
I'm very apologetic for how long it's taken me to update, but it's been partly because of lack of time, and partly because of a slight reluctance in taking on this final task when it comes to this story. I've had a lot of fun writing it, and I hope you've had equally as much fun reading it! I know, I know, all your feedback testifies to it, so once and for all Thank You All, so much, for your never ever failing support and warmth and energy in pushing me forward! It's been a privilege, truly.
I'm very regretful to also have to admonish the fact that I'm closing up shop indefinitely. I really feel like I have to focus on my personal writing and though I have loved the two years I've spent with you and with the cast of this sort of fiction, it simply takes up too much time. I hate that I feel it absolutely necessary to do this because I still have ideas to develop and an unfinished story!, but the fact is that I hope to go to college this fall and until then I feel I need to focus on myself and what I want to get out of my writing.
To all of the readers of In the Dead of the Night – my deepest, most earnest apologies. I realize that this is like reading half a book and then having the second half not be there, and I feel AWFUL, but I can't give you a promise that I'll be able to finish the story in any near future. For a long while I truly did think that I would, but as of late, my life taking the course it seems set on taking, I find myself forced to make a choice – and I simply have to make this one.
I dislike giving all of you up, giving this wonderful community that we have up, but I have to! *sob!!!* I'll miss all of you dearly, I really will, but who knows, we might still see each other again! :) What I want to have said is Thank You times ten billion thousand trillion! Without you guys, and though it sounds so corny it's very true, I wouldn't be at the juncture I'm at right now!
Warm and special thanks to
Wolf116 (hehe, I'm smiling widely over here! I'm really happy that you were hoping and in that hope was so sure that the Angel deal would have that outcome! Hey, did you think I'd fail you? :) Thank you for all your love and support through all my stories, girl, it's mean more than I can say! I so very much hope you liked the two concluding chapters!!! All My Love!) :)
Maribel (I'm sorry that it ends, but I'm really glad you feel better! Hope you liked the last chapters! And may I say my heartiest thank you for sticking with it throughout! All My Love!) :)
Winters1 (ah what a pleasant sight it is in seeing names one recognize as old friends! :) I've been reading The House of Mirth and feel some very old English dripping into my vocabulary. Wonderful, ain't it? I hope you enjoyed the follow up! I hadn't anticipated my brain having so much left on this story! A personal thank you to you now for everything! It's always been a treat to read your thoughts! All My Love!) :)
Darklover (Well, I'm very happy to hear that you liked it and as I've said and said again, one line of good or bad is always sufficient, though I admit the long rants are always welcomed! ;) Thank you for all of your encouragement, girl! It's been duelly appreciated! All My Love!) :)
Ali-Lou (Well, I think I accommodated to your wish pretty well, eh? Lot's of Spuffy and celebrations? I couldn't sign off without a wedding! :) I'm really glad you liked the last chapter and hope you enjoyed the VERY last ones as well! Thank for all the beatiful support and feedback I've recieved! I'm forever grateful! All My Love!) :)
Lilmamaday (I love it that you adore it! I felt I couldn't just ignore that, and I have to admit that I really do want those two to end up together. Angel and Cordy, I mean. Well, the Spuffy thing goes without saying! I very much hope you liked the last two chapters! Thank you for never faltering in your honest encouragement! It's meant the world!!! All My Love!) :)
Blackeyedgurl (It's more than okay that you didn't review, but I'm glad you did this time! It's a sad goodbye, but I guess all good things must. ;) I'm so happy that you've enjoyed the story and I certainly hope the ending wasn't a detour from that path! Thanks for all the insight into Egypt that you supplied and for all your enthusiasm toward that aspect of the story, it was great fun to receive! And I hope you enjoyed the Epilogue!!! Thanks for everything, girl. For joining the ride and for not failing to tell me what you thought of it! All My Love!) :)
Timeends (I'm very glad that you liked the chapter!!! And I really hope I was able to quench some of that Spuffy thirst with the last chapter!!! Thanks a lot for all your comments, it's been so good to see your name up there, and thanks for reading on! All My Love!) :)
Ekmw511 (And last but not least I get to say hello and goodbye to a new reader, which is rather sad! It was awesome to read your review, though. Can't believe you spent all that amount of time on something I've written, makes me feel like a million bucks! And there was a bit more to the story! :) Thanks a lot for letting me know what you thought, and I'm thrilled you liked it!!! All My Love!) :)
To those of you who haven't reviewed but read, or who have sent me emails, I BOW DOWN before you, truly! You're the reason I posted this story, all of the readers, and I know you know that! Been there through thick and thin you have, miss you I will! *smirk* Nah, but really, this story I dedicate to ALL of you. Thanks for making me feel... good enough! ;) You've invested time in me as I have in you and the mere thought is so huge to me that you've done that. You are wonderful!
This is me signing off. I'll really miss you guys!
A.M.L, Annie.
What Is To Be
-Epilogue-
By Annie
2004-02-19
¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤¤ ¤¤¤¤¤¤
Dawn came running from the drawing room when she heard the front door open. She was latched to Buffy the next moment and the Slayer laughed as she hugged her sister back, the formers luggage rumbling to the floor as she lost her grip on them.
"I'm so glad you're here," Dawn stated and Buffy smiled.
"Me too," she agreed as they let each other go and Dawn turned to Willow.
"I'm so glad you're here," she repeated with a giggle, embracing the Wicca who laughed as well.
"Buffy," Giles said, coming down the stairs to join in the reunion.
She smiled up at him and then hugged him hard.
"It's good to be home," she said as they stepped away from each other and he returned her smile.
Dawn turned to Buffy with a questioning look as the third party had yet to arrive. Buffy looked seriously at her sister for a moment, and Dawn's eyes began to grow worried, but then the door swung open and Spike stumbled through it –weighed down with luggage, which was his own fault since mostly all of it belonged to him.
"Spike!" Dawn squealed with delight, jumping on him and hugging him so hard that he lost his balance and they tumbled to the floor. "I can't believe it's really you! Say something, quick! No, never mind. I have to feel your pulse! Wow, you're so warm. No 'ripping my head off and drinking from my brains stem' now, huh?" she laughed and he joined her, shaking his head at her as he struggled to get the bags away from him in order to look at her.
Finally he was able to rest back on his elbows and she gave him a radiant smile where she sat straddling his thighs.
"Niblet," he said, staring at how grown she looked in only a year.
At the mention of the well-known nickname Dawn hugged him again, on the verge of tears.
"You're back, you're really back!" she repeated over and over until Buffy had to stop the spectacle and help them both to their feet.
"Let the poor guy breathe," she reprimanded, but she was still wearing her smile as well. "Come on," she added, addressing Spike. "I wanna show you around."
"I wanna come too!" Dawn chimed in and Buffy nodded, reaching out a hand to Spike who took it in one of his and had Dawn gape at them both.
She followed in teeth-gritting-with-curiosity silence as they began up the stairs, and after Buffy had shown Spike around the third floor the younger Summers couldn't hold it in any longer.
"You never said anything about you two being together!"
Buffy stopped, turning to her sister with her eyebrows raised.
"I wasn't sure it was any of your business," she replied and Dawn flushed with indignation.
"Not any of my business – are you completely crazy?! I watched you guys... evolve from... banana flies to... butter... flies!" she tried at a retort, but it merely had the two blondes exchange a glance and then a fit of laughter. "Or... something," Dawn grumbled, annoyed with their humor at her expense.
"Come on, Lil'Bit," Spike said, seeing her sour expression. "It's not something your sister wanted to discuss with you over the phone, you have to understand that."
Dawn's features grew a shade lighter as she looked at him, and then she smiled.
"I still think it was a rotten thing to do!" she withheld, but Buffy smiled as well and it seemed the matter was settled. "But I'm glad," she added and Buffy's smile widened before she kissed her sister's cheek.
"So are we," she assured and Dawn smirked, watching them mischievously and when they finally leaned forward and shared a soft kiss her smirk turned into a grin.
"Wow. It's so weird to think that two years ago I'd have bet twenty bucks without even blinking on you two never getting along, especially like this," she commented and at that both Slayer and ex-Vamp smiled widely.
"That's exactly what Faith said," Buffy stated. "I can't see how we were able to establish such lack of belief in us, in everybody."
Dawn merely rolled her eyes at that before walking passed the two, who shared another smile and then followed her.
***
Buffy looked at herself in the mirror. Her nerves were dancing the jitter- bug, but she didn't mind it at all since it was in such a nice way this evening.
It was Saturday, and she knew that Spike had been waiting for her downstairs for nearly fifteen minutes.
What? She had to let him sweat a little bit, what kind of first date would it be if she didn't? Of course, he knew that she was coming down. And of course he didn't for a moment think that she might have changed her mind. But she still liked the suspense. He didn't know that she was wearing a new dress, and she had no idea what he would be in. Probably a nice suit...
Her own garment went in a soft, blue tone. It stopped an inch below her knees and had a flow-y feel to it as the fabric was light silk for the first layer, and on top that were two layers of see-through material colored a lighter blue. The cut was simple, but enhanced her figure and plunged steeply to show off her back.
She wore her hair let out, her blonde locks cascading over her shoulders in a way that she knew he loved.
She smiled at a memory before grabbing her pocketbook, deciding that it was time to join him.
Walking down the stairs she drew a small breath to steady herself. When he came into view, looking up at her, she smiled at his taken expression. He was wearing a suit, indeed. A charcoal one and a blue tie which went wonderfully with the color of his eyes. He was the handsomest creature she had ever seen and she smiled again, this time at him. He returned it and reached out a hand to escort her down the last few steps.
"You look absolutely stunning," he murmured. "Though that's nothing new... Wow."
Her smile broadened with satisfaction.
"You don't look all that bad yourself," she remarked warmly, standing on her toes to give him a peck on the cheek.
He smiled at the movement. She seemed set on keeping their relationship low- key this evening, making the feel of the first date all that more palpable. He didn't mind. He loved the way she looked, he adored her aloofness since it made him want her even more, and he looked forward to making this night something special. After all they had been through to get here, they deserved it. She deserved it.
"So," she said as he hooked his arm for her and she slipped her hand through the loop. "Where are we going?"
"That's a surprise," he replied and she smirked.
"I knew you were gonna say that," she stated and he returned her smirk before walking with her up to the front door.
"Can't I take ONE picture?" Dawn's voice was heard from the drawing room.
"No," Buffy replied. "We're not off to prom, for crying out loud. Now, good night."
"I won't wait up!" Dawn called as the two stepped out through the door and closed it behind them.
Buffy drew a breath of the fresh May air and looked up at the stars spangling the sky with their far away might.
"Look at that," she said, her voice filled with a dreaminess he found fascinating.
He looked at her instead and she must have seen it out of the corner of her eye because she smiled and remarked:
"You're not looking."
"I'm looking really hard, Slayer," he mumbled and she turned her gaze in his at that. "Couldn't you tell?" he added and she felt her cheeks blush slightly under his prodding eyes, wondering when he would ever stop being able to do that to her.
"Are you driving?" she changed the subject and he smiled slightly before he shook his head, and as though it was timed to perfection a horse-drawn buggy stopped by the sidewalk in front of the steps leading down to it.
"Oh, no," Buffy mumbled. "Don't tell me you're gonna be doing this all night?" she added, but her eyes shone of merriment and delight and he merely smiled at her question before ushering her down the steps and helping her up in the seat.
He took his place by her side and then told the driver they could move along. The driver nodded and got the horse into a light pace, the sound of its hooves connecting with the pavement echoing between the houses.
"This is so nice," Buffy mused, resting her head on Spike's shoulder and he put an arm around her, pulling her close.
"And still it's only the first treat," he said and she smiled widely with anticipation.
They arrived, twenty minutes later, outside a nice and romantic little restaurant by the Themes. The light in the windows tattled of the interior being friendly and welcoming, and that it was. The building was a replica of an old Victorian Inn, and the ceiling was low, the tables made of polished wood and the only light available was that of burning candles positioned everywhere in the room.
They were shown to a table and Spike pulled out Buffy's chair for her, making her smile at him before she took a seat. He moved around and sat down opposite her.
He couldn't take his eyes off her. She was so beautiful it made him ache with the thought of her sitting there, before him, loving him back. He had thought, but not dared to hope that this day would ever actually present itself where he could reach out and touch her hand without having her flinch back in disgust and fear. And now there she was, looking at him in the same way that he felt for her. He could never make her understand how much she meant to him. But he would try.
"I remember the first time I saw you," he said and she tilted her head a little to one side, questioningly. "The very first time... at the Bronze. You were dancing and for one second something inside me was convinced that I had never lived for a moment, until THAT moment... You scared me, Buffy; but not as much as I scared myself. This history we have... without it, we wouldn't be sitting here." She shook her head, her eyes once more filled with tears and he smiled a small smile, reaching out one hand and taking one of hers. "You're the most amazing, incredible, talented, funny, intelligent, beautiful woman I've ever known, and there will never be anyone else for me."
She swallowed, trying to have the liquid his words produced not ruin her carefully applied makeup. She was failing.
"For me either," she then got out, thinking it sounded immensely meek. "I mean it," she added, taking his hand in a firmer grip.
He smiled.
"I know," he said just as the waitress came up with their menus.
They ordered, enjoyed the fabulous meal they were served, and talked. They talked about their past and their present, for hours. For some reason they avoided diving into the future.
Buffy guessed she was a little bit freaked out by the idea of getting their own place. Of actually living together. What if something happened and they didn't make it? What if he tired of her? She knew she was being ridiculous, but she couldn't help it. The step was too big NOT to worry over. They had been on ONE date after this evening. True, they had lived together in very intimate and close proximity now for over a week's time, but...
"Are you done?" he asked and she glanced down at her half-eaten chocolate mousse.
"Yes," she then replied and he nodded.
He paid the bill, and they left the restaurant with many compliments to the chef about a fantastic dinner. Getting back into the buggy they were off again, Buffy still clueless as to their next destination. They drove down a quiet street, and then stopped. Buffy looked around, quizzical.
"What's this?" she asked and he smiled, getting out and helping her to do the same before he made a gesture to the building before which they stood.
"This," he answered, "is where I was born."
She stared at him, then at the large brick house, and then she smiled.
This was truly something.
She had another look around the street.
"Does it look the same?" she asked and he nodded.
"Pretty much. There are some new houses... the trees weren't here when I was little... and the pavement wasn't either," he said and she had the cutest picture of him as a little boy running around playing with his friends before her eyes.
It had her smile widen once again and for some reason it felt as though the mere act he had performed in taking her to such a personal place brought her even closer to him. They walked down the street and he pointed out a few spots to her which carried specific memories to him. She soaked it all up with an interest that never wavered, holding his hand in a tight clasp and watching his face as he spoke just as much as she was their surroundings.
"Thank you," she said when they stopped as they were back at their original position and he tilted his head to one side, the glint in his eyes making her smile.
He smiled back and then he pulled her to him, hugging her close to him and she held him back. They pulled apart, looking at each other before laughing a little at how they kept getting so caught up in the other. Climbing back into the buggy they then were once again moving.
"Know something?" Buffy whispered.
"What?" he whispered back.
"I really love you," she said, brushing the tip of her nose against his and he smiled.
"I really love you too," he replied and she mirrored his smile before their lips met carefully.
The kiss deepened and she slipped her arms around his neck.
This was living!
She sighed as they eventually pulled apart, contentedly.
"We going home now?" she asked, her eyes veiled with a sudden desire which had a suction occur in his stomach, not at all unpleasant; but he shook his head.
"There's one more stop," he said and she didn't push for more information, merely rested back into his arms and enjoyed the ride he so neatly was taking her on.
They entered Hyde Park, slowly maneuvering on the promenades and then coming to a halt at a spot where the moon was painting silver in the grass, the soft dew making the green glitter. Weeping willows were scattered toward the horizon of their view and their branches hung heavily to the ground.
It was perfectly enchanting.
The two lovers once more got out of their equipage and Spike again took Buffy's hand, thanking the driver and asking him to return for them in an hour. The driver nodded and drove off. Buffy looked around and then spotted something in the middle of the grass.
"What's that?" she asked and Spike smiled, pulling her with him as he began to walk towards it.
As they got closer she realized it was candles, their dancing flames spreading a tentative glow in the blue shadow of the park. They surrounded a blanket and Buffy felt her eyes well up as she looked at the scene, being filled with a gratitude toward the man at her side that she didn't know if she had ever truly experienced before. Gratitude for his love taking him to the place where he wanted to do this for her. She knew she would treasure the memory for the rest of her life.
"Spike," she breathed, and he smiled at how she dropped back into the use of that name.
He couldn't be anything but warmed by how tenderly she said it now, as though it was her own nickname for him, and like she didn't connect it at all with his past except for the good or important moments they had shared together.
He made her sit down and then splayed himself out beside her, putting his hands behind his head and looking at her. She gazed back, smile still on, and then she lay down as well in the same position; having him chuckle before they both took to, for a second time that evening, gazing up at the stars above them.
"They're pretty," Buffy stated and Spike smiled widely before he nodded.
"That they are," he agreed.
They easily slipped into conversation about the earth as it was, with demons and people in two different worlds, and weighing the pros and cons. Half an hour passed and then Spike gently kissed her. She kissed him back and deepened it languorously. Putting her forehead to his she then took a breath and he gave her another quick kiss before saying:
"Buffy..."
"Yes?" she asked, her focus still on the taste of his lips.
"There's something... here!" he suddenly exclaimed as there was a growl and a body threw itself over them. "Bloody hell!" he added as he managed to put a foot in the being's stomach and throw it over his head.
Buffy was on her feet in the next instant, watching as the vampire rose to its feet, showing its teeth and growling.
"Sorry to disappoint," she said. "I never cared much for being considered as fast food," she added, bringing out the stake she had put in her pocketbook.
"Slayer!" it hissed. "What the bugger 're you doin' in England?"
"I'm afraid I'm moving in," she replied and the vamp's eyes grew slightly right before it attacked.
She took its blows easily, spun around and sunk the tip of her sharp weapon into the lethal spot of its ribcage. It turned to dust and she moved out of the way for its ashes before turning back to where Spike had risen.
"Are they morons?" she asked. "Haven't they noticed during this passed year that there's probably... ten other slayers in this country?"
Spike smirked at that, watching as she threw the stake aside and then came up to him.
"Now," she said, "where were we?"
He grabbed her hands when she was about to slip them up his chest and she cocked an eyebrow, wondering.
"I brought you here 'cause this was a place we've never been to together... I guess you always bring a piece of the past with you, though," he said and she still looked inquiring as to his point, so he continued: "I wanted this place to be the fresh setting for... a new start. But our friend," he emphasized the last word and had Buffy smile before he went on: "made me conclude that there's no need for it. We are who we are, and we'll always be this way. There will always be this knowledge of another dimension, of other creatures... Our new start happened the moment you said that you loved me. The rest is irrelevant. Buffy, I need you more than anything else. I need to see your face everyday or I feel like there's no real meaning to waking. I need to feel you close to me 'cause otherwise it's like I lose touch with myself. You're this part of me now that I can't live without and now you're crying," she smiled at the remark, brushing at her tears, "but I think that you know I'd never hurt you. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
A small sob escaped her, though it was just as happy as her tears and she sniffled a little before she replied:
"And I want to spend the rest of my life with you."
He looked at her for a long moment, then as he put one hand in the inside pocket of his jacket he asked:
"Are you sure?"
She nodded, not picking up on the movement until it was the hand being brought out again, holding something. She blinked at the liquid obscuring her sight and then her gaze fell on what was held between his thumb and index finger. She swallowed; her heart slowing down until she could barely feel it.
White cold fitted a beautifully cut white diamond.
She knew no words. Language had eluded her in quiet mockery of how sure she was of what she wanted.
She had her eyes in his again.
He didn't think; his whole existence was made out of waiting for her reaction. He wasn't sure how to interpret her silence. Was it good, or was it bad? Was she not ready? Was he moving to fast with this?
"You... don't like it?" he finally asked and it was as though the mental clasp was broken and she finally got word over tongue.
"Yes," she said and he smiled tentatively, though with obvious relief.
"Good. I wasn't sure of what cut you wanted and the clerk went into a lot of different styles which pretty much spun my head but..."
"No," she cut him off and he blinked, staring at her. "No. What I mean is... yes," she then said and now he truly stared at her. "Yes!" she repeated and his face finally split into a smile she had seen on him once before and that memory had her almost laughing.
God, it was real this time! That amazing ring was for her, and HE had picked it. HE had taken the time to plan this whole thing so that she would be able to look back and say to their grandchildren "And when grandpa asked grandma to spend the rest of her life with him it was in a beautiful place and it was the first time they were there together. There was a vampire there for about three seconds, but since grandma made it go to... a warmer place, it doesn't exactly count. The moment was perfect and all because your grandpa loves your grandma so very much, and THAT'S what you all should be looking for."
Somewhere between "God" and her speech for her so far non-existent offspring's offspring she had moved into his arms and she drew a deep breath of his scent before pulling back and finding his mouth with her own. The kiss deepened immediately and then she ended it softly, taking a small step back as he took her left hand in his. She watched as he held the ring ceremoniously before the finger on which it belonged
forever and ever
and then he cautiously slipped it on.
It fit like flowers in a vase and she smiled another bright smile before he pulled her to him once more, joining their lips in a lingering kiss.
***
They snuck into the house at half past one, keeping quiet as they made their way upstairs (Dawn had apparently made good on her promise not to wait up) and closing the door of the bedroom they had been assigned. Giles had merely said he didn't want to hear any funny business in the making, and Spike had said under his breath that they had better keep it down then, which had forced Buffy to stifle her laughter.
They got undressed slowly, enjoying every movement and every silent noise that their clothes made falling to the floor. Their hands ran the others body with care and knowledge of what spots to choose in order to get the preferred effect. Spike moved to lean her against the wall and kissed her neck before catching her mouth and kissing her fervently. She put a leg up and around his waist and he entered her, filling her to the edge of driving her clear over the edge, having her breathing grow deeper as she clung to him.
They didn't sleep that night.
***
"You know that I'm not expecting us to get married in three months," he said the next morning.
They were lying face to face and hadn't looked away from each other for over two hours. She smiled now, nodding a little.
"Yeah, I know," she said. "And you know that I feel the same way, right?" she added and he returned her smile, nodding as well.
"Yeah. We'd better find a place to live first and... live there for a while. Right? Just be... together," he finished and her smile grew.
"Right," she concurred. "Just be together. Pick out furniture. Grow some roots. Have a baby."
His eyes lit up at that input.
"You'd want that?" he asked and she laughed.
"Well, duh!" she replied. "Of course I want a family, we already had this discussion!"
"Yeah, I remember. But a real, actual baby?"
She laughed again, moving forward and kissing him on the mouth.
"Yes, a living breathing replica of YOU," she stated and he cocked an eyebrow.
"No, no, of YOU," he disagreed and she smiled.
"Let's say he or she can have your smarts and my vigor," she suggested and it was his turn to laugh.
"I think that if our son or daughter has all your traits he or she will be a perfect little person," he returned and she smirked.
"We'll never agree on this," she pointed out.
"Better let nature have its course," he said and she smiled again.
"I want to go back to school," she then stated and he raised his eyebrows, this time a little surprised. "You don't mind that, do you?" she asked and the mere look on his face gave her all the answer she needed.
"What do you want to be?" he asked and she gave a little shrug.
"I don't know. Something fun like... a food critic," she answered and he smiled widely at that, which she returned. "I've been thinking a lot about it for the past few days since there was so much talk about the Slayer's last fight and how I'd somehow put that part of my life aside, and I recall something Kendra once told me, that the Slayer isn't what I do, it's not my job – it's who I am."
"She was a smart lady," Spike mumbled, feeling rather shameful as he knew what end the smart lady faced in his demonically screwy ex-girlfriend.
Buffy gave him a smile to tell him that she hadn't brought Kendra up for the sake of her demise and then continued:
"She WAS a very smart lady, but the thing is that even though she said the words, I was the one who taught them to her. I made her realize that this is the truth of the slayers nature. I've just forgotten about it for a while, especially since the nature isn't solely my own anymore. What I'm trying to say is that I will always be her, I'll always be the Slayer. I'll always put on the 'good fight' and be the protector for those who might need it... but it's not my job. And I NEED a job. I liked college. I hated giving it up. I want to make something more of my life. I've always wanted that. I think you know that."
He smirked his affirmation and she smiled back, entwining their fingers.
"We're facing the really scary deal of the whole package," she said. "You, me and the really real world. Think we'll make it?"
"I know we will," he replied with conviction and she leaned forward to grant him yet another kiss.
***
"Could you hand me the jam, please?" Buffy asked an hour and a half later, seated at the breakfast table to the left of a paper-reading Giles, to the right of a croissant chewing Dawn and a bread-buttering Willow, and with her still not official fiancé before her.
He gave her a smile and then reached across the table to give her what she wanted.
"Thanks, hon," she said sweetly.
"Your welcome, darling," he replied and there was a low click of a tongue behind the paper.
Buffy rolled her eyes and then put the jam down on the table as she asked:
"Do you have any objection against William?"
"What was that?" the Watcher inquired, bringing the paper down and looking at her quizzically.
"Against William," she repeated. "Any objections against him being here? Or my being with him in every sense of those two words?"
"This is a place for eating and reading and I shall not tolerate crudeness," he stated reproachfully. "We can discuss this a little later."
"No, we can discuss this now," Buffy shook her head. "Do you disapprove of Will? And if you do I'd like a liable explanation why you won't let the old hatchet be buried once and for all."
Giles sighed, putting down his paper completely and then looking from one to the next.
"I don't disapprove," he finally admitted.
Buffy looked rather disbelieving but he smiled a genuine smile and then looked at Spike, who seemed rather taken aback by the conversation all together.
"You don't?" Buffy now demanded.
"No," Giles answered, growing a bit serious and then having a streak of sadness in his features before he cleared his throat and said: "I'm happy for you. For the both of you. It's seems it's been a long time coming, the two of you calling each other such affectionate names... I surely do remember the first time I bore witness to such events." Spike and Buffy shared a humorous glance at that, but it was interrupted as Giles finished: "I shall miss you, is what I want to have said."
Buffy frowned, not following.
"I suppose I will be able to come and visit you," he added. "And you me. Once you're settled. Will you be living in California once more, or will you be looking for another state altogether? I believe a house in any part of New England can never be considered a bad idea."
"Oh, no," Dawn spoke up, looking a little worriedly at her sister. "Are we moving back to America? Really? I mean, I know I'm from there and I love it and everything, but all my friends! And school! And..."
"We're not leaving England," Buffy cut her short and Dawn closed her mouth.
"You're not?" Giles asked, not able to filter out the hope in his tone.
"No," Buffy stated. "In fact, we're not leaving London. Well, at least I don't think we are, and if we are then we're not going very far."
Spike nodded his agreement and she smiled at him.
"What's that?" Willow suddenly asked, staring at Buffy's left hand with widening eyes.
"What's what?" Buffy wondered, oblivious to her friend's growing fixation with what so prettily acted as decoration.
"That huge sparkly thing that's sitting on your finger!" Willow exclaimed, rising from her chair and coming around the table to have a closer look.
Dawn rose as well, her very being seemed shaken to the core that she herself hadn't been the first to notice and she grabbed Buffy's hand in a hard grip as she stared at the testimony to what had been going on the night prior.
"Oh my God!" she yelled. "You're getting married!"
"You're getting married?!" Giles asked and Buffy clenched her jaws together as her arm was jerked back even farther and then she pulled it out of the grasp and massaged her wrist a little as she replied:
"Yes, eventually we hope to have a beautiful wedding. But for now you should be screaming 'You're engaged?!'"
Spike smirked at that and she smiled back before being brutally embraced by two of the closest people she had in the world.
"This is amazing!" Dawn squeaked, jumping up and down.
"It is," Willow nodded. "But I swear I'll kill you if you make me wear the same kind of bridesmaid's dress as Anya did."
Buffy laughed at that.
"You'll be astonishing, I promise," she then replied. "I promise I won't go for teal or anything loud in color and you'll get to choose the cut yourself, sound good?"
"Lovely," Willow nodded.
"We'll have to plan the whole thing! Have you set a date?" Dawn asked and Buffy smiled at her excitement before she answered:
"No, hence the reaction-should-be comment. We're engaged, indefinitely. We'll set a date when we're ready."
"But you ARE ready! You are! Oh, a summer wedding would be terrific! Out under the trees. Good thing you don't have to worry about the deadly rays of the sun anymore, huh, fangy?" Dawn teased and Spike gave her a friendly glare before she continued to rant. "Or maybe a winter wedding would be better. Inside with a big party and snow outside. It should even be snowing, that would be the perfect setting!"
"Mh-hmh, and you plan on ordering a few hours of snowing from...?" Buffy asked, but Dawn was too caught up in her own musings that she didn't pay any heed to her sister.
Buffy shook her head at her and then turned it to Giles, who looked one the one hand shocked and on the other truly happy for her.
"Let me see that," he said and she held out her hand to him. "Nice choice, if I do say," he stated with a glance at Spike, who smiled tryingly. "Congratulations," the Watcher then added with his eyes in his Slayer's and she had tears glisten in them before she rose and went to embrace him.
"Remember what I asked you the first time?" she asked as they pulled apart and his eyebrows rose. "I want you to give me away, Giles. I'd be honored if you would."
"No," he shook his head. "I will be honored TO."
She smiled widely at that and then embraced him again.
Spike was just being attacked by his sometime to be sister-in-law and the Wicca, who were both apologetic for not hugging him sooner and therefore hugged him all the more harder. He didn't mind it in the least. It was one of the happiest days of his existence and he would savor every last facet of it, even if one of them were him being slowly suffocated by two pairs of slim arms.
Half an hour later they had toasted in champagne and were just finishing drinking out their glasses when there was a ring on the doorbell. Willow went to open and there was a cry of surprise in the form of the visitors name, which had the rest also rush out into the hall.
"Xander!" Buffy exclaimed as the man himself stepped through the door, putting down his bags for embracing the Wicca. "What are you doing here?!"
"I was in the neighborhood," he replied with a smile, letting Willow go and opening his arms for the Slayer and her sister who hugged him tight and then stepped back. "And that wasn't just a sarcastic remark either," he added. "I'm actually here on work for a few months."
"That's so great!" Buffy said and he nodded before reaching out his hand to shake Giles'.
"Good to see you," Giles said and Xander smiled, taking a step forward and giving the Watcher a hug as well.
"The same," he then replied, stepping back and turning his gaze in the former vampire's.
There was a long moment of tension, and then Xander reached out his hand to the bleached blonde as he had Giles. Spike looked at it for a short second and then he moved forward and took it in a firm grip.
"Good that you're back," Xander said, his voice carrying only a small hint of a strain, but the words sounded as though he meant them, especially when he added: "Buffy was a mess when you were gone. Sorry, Buff, but you were. So it's good... that you're here," he finished, and Spike gave a nod before they let each other's hands go.
Buffy looked from one to the other and then she took a step forward.
"We have some news," she said.
Xander smiled, moving a hand to take her left and having his fingers grace the ring before he stated:
"I noticed." She smiled back and then he put his arms around her in a warm hug. "I know it sounds like the most unoriginal thing to say, but I'm happy for you."
Buffy's smile merely widened and her eyes landed in Spike's, his face reflecting her expression.
They were gathered again. The small tightly knit group who had seen it all begin. It was as it should be, and Spike was glad that Xander had been able to join up with the posse. The Scoobs under one roof once more. A past, a present and a future was what Spike knew they would share. The people he looked upon now were his family, as they were Buffy's family, and something light and fuzzy tickled his heart at the thought of growing old with them. Of seeing Dawn develop into the bright woman he could already see in her. In following Willow's progress within her coven. In seeing if the whelp... no, if Xander finally found the happiness he so clearly had been lacking since he lost his truest love. And in working out his relationship with the man who Buffy considered her father.
And then... creating with Buffy a family and a solid base for that future which stretched out before them as a wide and vast sea. What a journey that still awaited them. He was looking forward to it more than he had anything ever before. It was exhilarating to think of the opportunities they would most surely have and the choices they would have to make.
He felt as though a few memories were somehow already imbedded in his mind.
Buffy in an unbelievable creation of white.
The sound of a baby's loud crying.
Lifting that baby as it had grown into a child high in the air. For some reason he found himself seeing it being a daughter. She had Buffy's bright smile and his own blue eyes and she laughed loudly when he put her on his shoulders...
Yeah, he saw their future.
And it was nothing but what he had always known it would be.
Perfect.
**************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** **************************************************************************** ******************
I can barely believe that it's over. I guess you noticed that the "one" chapter more or less turned into a sixteen pages extravaganza and so I divided them up since there were so much I wanted to get in to the ending. Which I very, very much hope that you enjoyed.
I'm very apologetic for how long it's taken me to update, but it's been partly because of lack of time, and partly because of a slight reluctance in taking on this final task when it comes to this story. I've had a lot of fun writing it, and I hope you've had equally as much fun reading it! I know, I know, all your feedback testifies to it, so once and for all Thank You All, so much, for your never ever failing support and warmth and energy in pushing me forward! It's been a privilege, truly.
I'm very regretful to also have to admonish the fact that I'm closing up shop indefinitely. I really feel like I have to focus on my personal writing and though I have loved the two years I've spent with you and with the cast of this sort of fiction, it simply takes up too much time. I hate that I feel it absolutely necessary to do this because I still have ideas to develop and an unfinished story!, but the fact is that I hope to go to college this fall and until then I feel I need to focus on myself and what I want to get out of my writing.
To all of the readers of In the Dead of the Night – my deepest, most earnest apologies. I realize that this is like reading half a book and then having the second half not be there, and I feel AWFUL, but I can't give you a promise that I'll be able to finish the story in any near future. For a long while I truly did think that I would, but as of late, my life taking the course it seems set on taking, I find myself forced to make a choice – and I simply have to make this one.
I dislike giving all of you up, giving this wonderful community that we have up, but I have to! *sob!!!* I'll miss all of you dearly, I really will, but who knows, we might still see each other again! :) What I want to have said is Thank You times ten billion thousand trillion! Without you guys, and though it sounds so corny it's very true, I wouldn't be at the juncture I'm at right now!
Warm and special thanks to
Wolf116 (hehe, I'm smiling widely over here! I'm really happy that you were hoping and in that hope was so sure that the Angel deal would have that outcome! Hey, did you think I'd fail you? :) Thank you for all your love and support through all my stories, girl, it's mean more than I can say! I so very much hope you liked the two concluding chapters!!! All My Love!) :)
Maribel (I'm sorry that it ends, but I'm really glad you feel better! Hope you liked the last chapters! And may I say my heartiest thank you for sticking with it throughout! All My Love!) :)
Winters1 (ah what a pleasant sight it is in seeing names one recognize as old friends! :) I've been reading The House of Mirth and feel some very old English dripping into my vocabulary. Wonderful, ain't it? I hope you enjoyed the follow up! I hadn't anticipated my brain having so much left on this story! A personal thank you to you now for everything! It's always been a treat to read your thoughts! All My Love!) :)
Darklover (Well, I'm very happy to hear that you liked it and as I've said and said again, one line of good or bad is always sufficient, though I admit the long rants are always welcomed! ;) Thank you for all of your encouragement, girl! It's been duelly appreciated! All My Love!) :)
Ali-Lou (Well, I think I accommodated to your wish pretty well, eh? Lot's of Spuffy and celebrations? I couldn't sign off without a wedding! :) I'm really glad you liked the last chapter and hope you enjoyed the VERY last ones as well! Thank for all the beatiful support and feedback I've recieved! I'm forever grateful! All My Love!) :)
Lilmamaday (I love it that you adore it! I felt I couldn't just ignore that, and I have to admit that I really do want those two to end up together. Angel and Cordy, I mean. Well, the Spuffy thing goes without saying! I very much hope you liked the last two chapters! Thank you for never faltering in your honest encouragement! It's meant the world!!! All My Love!) :)
Blackeyedgurl (It's more than okay that you didn't review, but I'm glad you did this time! It's a sad goodbye, but I guess all good things must. ;) I'm so happy that you've enjoyed the story and I certainly hope the ending wasn't a detour from that path! Thanks for all the insight into Egypt that you supplied and for all your enthusiasm toward that aspect of the story, it was great fun to receive! And I hope you enjoyed the Epilogue!!! Thanks for everything, girl. For joining the ride and for not failing to tell me what you thought of it! All My Love!) :)
Timeends (I'm very glad that you liked the chapter!!! And I really hope I was able to quench some of that Spuffy thirst with the last chapter!!! Thanks a lot for all your comments, it's been so good to see your name up there, and thanks for reading on! All My Love!) :)
Ekmw511 (And last but not least I get to say hello and goodbye to a new reader, which is rather sad! It was awesome to read your review, though. Can't believe you spent all that amount of time on something I've written, makes me feel like a million bucks! And there was a bit more to the story! :) Thanks a lot for letting me know what you thought, and I'm thrilled you liked it!!! All My Love!) :)
To those of you who haven't reviewed but read, or who have sent me emails, I BOW DOWN before you, truly! You're the reason I posted this story, all of the readers, and I know you know that! Been there through thick and thin you have, miss you I will! *smirk* Nah, but really, this story I dedicate to ALL of you. Thanks for making me feel... good enough! ;) You've invested time in me as I have in you and the mere thought is so huge to me that you've done that. You are wonderful!
This is me signing off. I'll really miss you guys!
A.M.L, Annie.