DISCLAIMER: The characters don't belong to me. I'm not making a profit
from this.
NOTES: So, mikhale
asked me for some Bobby/John in which they are on a bed. The better with which
to facilitate boylove, right? Oy. I always have to make things so complicated,
don't I? I don't think this is the story he asked for, but here it is anyway.Yay
for serialkarma
for helpful input.
***
Option E
Then Bobby said something and John didn't catch all of it, but
it had something to do with life's big words. Not big words like 'onomatopoeia'
or 'adenosine.' Big ones like 'meaning' and 'forever.' Bobby was like that when
he was drunk. So was Marie, now that John thought about it. And Kitty, and
Piotr. The only decent drunk he knew, besides himself, was Jubilee, and she
didn't drink as much as people thought she did.
John was pretty sure Bobby just said something about love. The phrase 'too much
to drink' came to mind.
John considered putting his own bottle on the nightstand, but what if this was
going where he suspected it was going? See, 'cos John wasn't… wasn't
like that. Wasn't like how Bobby was like. Unless this was just a phase
Bobby was going through. The thing about phases, though, was that while they
were there, you had to deal with them. With the bottle in hand, John
could deal with it by holding it up and saying, "Hold on, man, wouldn't
want to spill beer on the bed, right?"
"There are other ways to get a wet spot on the bed," he imagined Bobby
replying. Except that Bobby would never say that to him. He couldn't even
imagine Bobby saying it to Rogue.
John was able to last this long--couple of months now? Month and a half?--in the
face of Bobby's identity issues without having to resort to spillage threats. He
should be able to last a little more. He took a healthy swig and sat back
against the headboard, meeting Bobby's eyes with a level gaze. The bottle stayed
in his hand.
Bobby and John sat on opposite ends of the bed. A few minutes ago, Rogue had
been there, curled up between them with her head on Bobby's lap and her feet in
John's hands. He tickled her. She kicked. They laughed. At the moment, she was
filching snacks from the kitchen, giving the boys some downtime in which to do
some male-bonding. John morbidly wondered what kind.
"It feels like the fourth of July," said Bobby from where he sat
cross-legged on the folded blanket.
"Yeah?"
"Or New Year's. It... I don't know."
"What do you mean?"
"This." Bobby gestured vaguely around. "'Cos things just feel
good now, and safe. You, and me. And Rogue. And alcohol, and just the three of
us." He checked himself: "Um, I mean… Marie..."
John tossed his head back and laughed. "It's like you don't even know what
to call her."
"Dude, yeah. And when I ask her which one she likes, she says she
doesn't mind either name, so I'm like--" Bobby pounds his chest
emphatically "--what am I supposed to do?"
"Call her Rogue-Marie."
"Rarie."
"Mogue."
They snickered.
"But seriously?" Bobby scooted forward. John raised an eyebrow.
"It's good."
"All good?" asked John, his smile just bordering on smirk.
"All good," Bobby confirmed, casually punching John's knee.
John drew his knees up to his chest. "Good."
Seconds passed, more than enough for an acceptable conversational pause.
Bobby leaned back on his arms. "So," he said.
John winced inwardly. 'So'? Lamest of lame forced conversation starters. He
wondered how long he could last before he felt compelled to say anything back.
Two-point-five seconds.
"Fritos, Cheetos, and Cherry Garcia," said Rogue, entering the room.
"I had to battle Artie for the Cheetos, so you better appreciate it."
"We do," said John, catching the bag of chips Rogue tossed at him. He
tore open the bag and tossed a handful of chips in his mouth, chewing noisily as
Bobby scooted backwards to make room for Rogue. "Very much."
"It's rude to chew with your mouth full," said Rogue in mock
reprimand.
John only grinned, showing off the bits of food between his teeth.
++
Next time, there was no alcohol involved. It was mid-afternoon and Piotr was
sitting at his desk with headphones on, trying to make headway on the biology
homework. All the same, it was John who volunteered to get the snacks.
"You know, all this is putting wrinkles in an otherwise enjoyable
friendship," John imagined himself saying to Bobby. "If we drive you
to the city where you can have your way with a fine young boy for seventy bucks
a pop, will you knock it off?"
"Why would I," Bobby would reply, "when you're right here?"
Bobby wouldn't say that at all.
John imagined himself saying, "Just this once."
Just to cover all the bases, of course. Just to think of all the possible
scenarios, because you had to be prepared these days, for anything. You had to
know what kinds of things were Just Not Done. Everything was possible but, John
reminded himself, only some things were probable.
They had finished the Cherry Garcia last time, but there was still half a pint
of One Sweet Whirled. He tossed the lid onto a counter and looked around the
drawer for a spoon.
"You're not going to eat that straight out of the carton, are you?"
John looked up. Ms. Munroe was standing in the kitchen doorway, hands on her
hips, eyebrow arched knowingly. "That's not very hygienic."
"Hey, Ms. Munroe."
"Hi, John," she said, stepping towards him. "Indulging in a little
afternoon snack?"
John shrugged. "That's the plan. And don't worry, we'll finish the entire
thing off, so you won't have to worry about our germs spreading to the rest of
the school."
"Are you sure I can't interest you in some carrot sticks or muesli
instead?" she asked, indulging in gentle sarcasm as teachers did.
"Maybe next time," said John.
Ms. Munroe picked up an apple from the fruit basket on the counter and took a
bite.
"Alright," she said. "But next time I see you, I want to see a
granola bar in your hand."
John exited the kitchen, One Sweet Whirled in one hand and a can of Pringles in
the other. Halfway to his room, he remembered that he forgot the spoons.
++
Later in the week, John figured he'd had enough of covering bases. The question
was where to go from here. How to tell Bobby that guys simply did not do what
Bobby's hormones were implying they do. At least, not this guy. Not St. John
Allerdyce.
The path was determined by Bobby himself, inadvertently, through a culmination
of unfamiliar proximity and questionable touches. Once again, they were sitting
on John's bed, except that instead of Rogue's body between them, it was a pile
of textbooks. Like a barrier, he thought. John wasn't the one who wanted to
study together anyway. It was his usual habit to do homework on his bed instead
of his desk, but it was not usual for Bobby to plop himself down in front of him
and start asking questions about B-cells and antigens in a tone too serious and
focused to be believed.
"Antigens are what triggers the antibody production," answered John.
"They don't actually make the antibodies themselves."
"So what makes the antibodies?"
"Lymphocyte cells."
"What are antigens?"
"I told you."
"Like..." Bobby vaguely waved his pencil in the air.
"Examples."
"Bacteria," said John, eyes on his notebook as he scribbled down the
different types of a feedback mechanism. "Toxins. Foreign blood
cells."
Bobby nodded, looking back at his notes. "Right."
John wondered how much of this Bobby actually already knew.
This bastardization of a study session continued this way, the sound of pencil
scratching on paper interspersed with forced Q&A and random commentary. The
commentary was often amusing, because John wasn't so alienated from his friend
that he couldn't laugh with him anymore. When it was especially amusing, they'd
laugh out loud in that unafraid way they did. And when they did, John noticed
the way Bobby inched forward, just the slightest, subtlest bit. Sometimes Bobby
would tap John's leg with his pencil when he was making a point, and John would
squirm back against the headboard. Bobby either didn't notice or was pretending
not to.
John found himself checking the textbook barrier. He felt like a jackass doing
it but he couldn't help himself. Something had to be concrete and represent
sureness, if Bobby's sexuality wasn't. John almost wished Bobby would stop
beating around the bush and just kiss him, just to get it out of the way, and
John could finally tell him straight (no pun intended) that this wasn't the way
the cookie crumbled.
Bobby leaned over the barrier, pointing to a diagram in John's textbook,
steadying himself with one hand pressed into the mattress two inches away from
John's foot. He babbled something about the pancreas when the words suddenly
spilled out of John like a meal he couldn't stomach.
"Stop that," said John.
"What?"
"I'm not gay."
It was easier than John had expected.
Bobby's expression didn't change, but there was a certain light behind it that
suddenly went out. "Where the hell did that come from?"
"I just..." John shrugged. "Come on, man, it was... I mean, of
course--"
"Of course?" Bobby repeated, narrowing his eyes.
"Oh, don't act so surprised that you're not the subtlest person in
America," John snapped. " It's just a teenage identity crisis, man,
chill out." The vitriol in his voice surprised him. He hadn't expected to
be this surly. But between being honestly flustered and defensively surly, the
latter was preferable.
"I'm not..." Bobby began.
"Sure you're not," said John.
"Shut up, man. I... Fuck you."
"Funny you should say that," John muttered, looking away.
"Imagine, you're going out with Rogue and you're hitting on me."
"I am not fucking hitting on you, for god's sake."
"Language, Drake," John smirked.
"Fuck you."
"That's what you said before but you keep breaking promises..."
Papers scattered and the textbooks fell to the floor as Bobby lunged forward. In
a moment of consciousness, John tried to protect his homework and shove it away
from the fight he knew was coming. The books fell to the floor with a heavy
crash. Bobby slammed into John, knocking his head back against the wall, but
though Bobby had the element of surprise, it was John who ultimately knew what
he was doing. Bobby was face-down on the mattress with his arm twisted behind
his back in no time at all.
"Dammit, John," Bobby spat out.
"You wanted to do that, didn't you?" said John, sounding a bit
breathless, but cutting none the less. "You wanted me to do this."
Bobby cursed, resting his forehead against the mattress. "You're full of
shit."
"Am I?"
"Are you going to let me go or what?"
"You're not even trying that hard to get up. You fucking like this, don't
you?"
Bobby suddenly bucked and threw all his weight backwards. John yelled sharply
when he suddenly found himself squeezed between Bobby and the wall. Bobby fell
forward to the mattress, and John tumbled to the floor.
Fuck, John thought grumpily, feeling the back of his head for bumps. He was just
speaking the truth, after all, and the truth shouldn't hurt anybody. Bobby was
just being oversensitive. Bobby was just being horny. He looked up at the bed,
where his roommate sat rubbing his shoulder, looking at John with a wary
expression on his face.
As John pushed himself to his feet, Bobby said, "John."
"What?"
A kiss. Maybe it was a kiss. Bobby put his hand on the back of John's neck,
tugged him closer, and it was a hard, forceful press of lips on lips. Just for a
second, maybe two, and it was over. There was a pause, a turning-into-statues, a
dry-throated stillness.
And then.
"You... shithead," John finally managed. It didn't sound as venomous
as he thought it would. He tried again: "What the fuck was... I told you
I'm not... Fuck."
It didn't sound venomous at all.
Bobby meticulously studied his fingernails and said not a word.
Seconds passed, more than enough for an acceptable conversational pause.
John considered his options: a) stay in the room, yell his lungs the fuck out at
Bobby, b) stay in the room, sort this out diplomatically with limited cursing
and violence, c) stay in the room, beat the shit out of Bobby, d) stay in the
room, kiss Bobby properly this time, none of that chaste, no-tongue bullshit.
Just covering bases, of course.
Everything was possible but only some things were probable.
There was always option E.
Bobby stared intensely at his fingernails as John's footsteps faded down the
hall. He didn't look up until the footsteps completely disappeared, vanishing
into the murmur of late afternoons. He didn't move until the sledgehammer thuds
became regular heartbeats again. Didn't do a damned thing until his face was of
the normal temperature and coloration. Then, being the conscientious boy he had
always been raised to be, Bobby slid off the bed and began to pick up the fallen
books.
