Sorry for not updating sooner… *is embarrassed* Anyways, I feel as though this fic is losing its "humor" factor. I guess I'm just having a lack of inspiration lately.
Disclaimer: Yeah, yeah, just read the first chapter… and/or just think about it carefully.
Anyhoo! This fic has the slash factor, sooo, if you don't like that kinda thing… THEN WHY ARE YOU PRESENT??? GO FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO READ!!!…. I swear… *huffs at all the yaoi flamers*
Anyways! That's about it! Hope you enjoy!
Chapter… 3!
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Well now that Yugi and the main gang have permanent psychological problems and many issues concerning their dwindling sanity, we will now move back to the hospital to visit our happy little insane-o fruitcake dude man guy.
Seto Kaiba sat in the fold out chair by the window, staring happily at a fly as it buzzed its head into the shiny glass window.
"Wow, is that fun little PEA BRAINED INSECT!!" He screamed at the fly for its stupidity before smashing it with his thumb.
He blinked. He looked down at the offending thumb long and hard. Finally, he spoke. "Why, why Mr. Thumb? Why did you kill him? Is it wrong to be less than intelligent?! Huh? Is it? IS IT?!" Kaiba began smearing his finger around on the window, spreading fly insides on it. He banged it on the glass and demanded an answer from his now broken appendage. "ANSWER ME MR. THUMB MAN!!"
Another nurse, dubbed Derek, yup he's a MALE NURSE, walked in.
"Mr. Kaiba! What are you doing?" He yelped as he walked in… strangely again…, closing the door behind him. He ran up to Kaiba taking his hand away from the window, examining the bent thumb. "What did you do?"
Kaiba said nothing, he just stared.
And stared.
Like how Yugi just twitched.
And twitched.
Derek looked up. He choked. Kaiba was staring at him.
"W-what are y-you looking… at?" Derek stuttered as he stood next to the boy with the icy clear blue eyes. Derek's own bright shining emerald eyes were shaded by his long reddish brown bangs that fell lazily into his view. What a repetitive phrase…
Kaiba just stared the whole time, his eyes blinked a few times, then fell shut as he fell against Derek's side.
"Uuummm, okay…" Derek said as his face flushed into the brightest shade of red, complimenting the red tones in his hair completely dude!
"Mr. Kaiba… are you.. okay?"
"Mmn, you're soft, and I like you…" Kaiba mumbled as he cuddled into his side. Derek twitched.
'Eeee! Meep! Help!' Derek thought as Kaiba wrapped his arms around his waist, bringing him down into his lap. "Umm, please Mr. Kaiba, I know you're… a little drugged, but please…"
"Ssh… I may have had a little more medicine than I would have liked… but please, stay… and play with me…" Kaiba said in a seductive voice nuzzling the nurse's neck.
The other boy tried to push his patient away, but he was too weak, Kaiba was taller and much stronger than him, despite the fact he was a couple years older than the brunet. Derek was about Joey's size but just a bit shorter and less muscular.
'I could get fired for messing with a patient… even if HE came on to ME!'
Kaiba growled as he nipped lightly at his neck.
"AHHHHH!!!" Derek decide that it was best to scream in a situation like this, well, that's what his teachers always said when he was younger. So he screamed, and twitched, as he screamed some more.
Kaiba stood up bumping the nurse backwards onto the hospital bed. The movement had surprised Derek so he stopped screaming and landed with an "Ompf!"
Kaiba jumped on top of him before he could retaliate, straddling his waist.
"You're hot… you know that?" Kaiba said as he began nuzzling his neck again.
"Um…please, I know you may be… aroused or whatever… but please let me go!" Derek whined softly.
"Ssh… its okay… I wont hurt you." Kaiba said reassuringly, although it didn't help much, Derek continued to apply his best technique in the survival category, screaming.
"AHHHHH!! HELP ME!!!"
About a minute later, an agonizingly long minute of torture for the short red head, Leann burst in.
"What?! I leave you alone for a second and you go and molest my co-worker! You damned fruit!" Leann yelled as she grabbed her favorite weapon of choice, "Reader's Digest".
She gave Kaiba the same treatment as before, only a little more vicious and less kind.
About three minutes of beating later, Kaiba was huddled in a corner, sobbing hysterically as he moaned and rocked back and forth on his butt.
"Was that… necessary?" Derek questioned feeling a bit sorry for his assaulter.
"Yes, it may look cruel, but its necessary for his sanity and mine." She said with an evil glint in her eye, similar to that of Yugi's grandfather's. Which could only mean… SHE'S PLOTTING SOMETHING!!
"Um, okay, if you say so…" Derek said as he backed into a corner, feeling particularly afraid at the moment.
Leann burst out cackling as she began to run around in circles whacking random things such as PRICELESS ANTIQUE PICTURES!! off of the walls.
"NO! DA PICTURES!!" Seto declared randomly while standing on his bed, before he decided on returning to his corner.
Derek, seeing this moment as one to escape, left… leaving two psychos to their bidding.
~~~~~
Awhile later… a long while later, things had calmed down a bit, a bit that is, in room 336. Seto lay… strangely unconscious in his bed. Leann towered over him menacingly, a strange look playing across the darkened features of her face.
"Mwhahahahahaha! I have you now, Mr. Sir!" Leann cried pulling out a pair of…. SLIPPERS!!! Wait… no, it was a pair of…. pants? Hmn.. Its hard to tell what object Leann is holding at the moment… oh! she just moved, it's a pair of headphones! Anyways, she pulls out the horrible, evil, sinister headphones… and pops them on his head!
She brings out a CD player and pushes play.
"Master. Master. Master. Master…" said a monotone voice over and over and over and over and over and over and over again.
Leann cackled evilly before.. jumping out the 10th story floor window…. making impact… quite loudly.
It was sweet dreams after that.
~~~~
A once was short, but grew a foot in a couple of days, red-headed girl popped her head into the lonely room that was a 3 digit number, each a multiple of three. Or in other words, room 663!
"Excuse me.. is this Mr. Kaiba's room…" She began to ask before quickly sprinting away down the hall. What she saw, you do not know, but I do… it 'twas a boy by the name of TRISTAN! And another boy with white hair! Their actions… "doing stuff…" Their reason for abducting a hospital bed/room: quote: "AHH! What are you guys DOING?!?!?!!? …. it took me all morning to make my bed… *sighs* ..if only I wasn't so short, then I could actually make my bed without having to use a step ladder… *begins to cry softly* nobody loves me… I feel so alone!
Joey: Aww… its okay Yug, just cause Seto doesn't love you and loves me MOST, and the fact that your yami is sleeping with a piece of sports equipment, or the fact that that Tea freak is quote "A freak", and that the other guy you like, namely the one getting fucked by Tristan…. just a sec.. GO TRISTAN!! … sorry bout that… is quote "getting fucked by Tristan"… *big breath* doesn't mean that NOBODY loves you. I mean, what about Grandpa, although I'd never personally choose to sleep with him, with all that "PLOTTING!!" and killing and stuff, plus he's kinda old and on the wrinkly side… don't tell him I looked, 'k? And yeah.. Oh, there's Mokuba… *pulls the poor traumatized boy over to his side* … Mokuba loves ya, isn't that right?
Mokuba: *eyes roll back into head* *head flops backwards* *begins drooling and making weird noises*
Joey: *coughs* Um, yeah… hehehe good point there kiddo! *pats Mokuba on the head.. attempting to push his head back into a normal position so Yugi doesn't get suspicious*
Yugi: *is.. startled and DEFINITELY suspicious* …Joey, I think there's something wrong with him…
Joey: Nah, he's fine! Right? *begins smacking boy harshly* You're fine RIGHT?!?!?!
Yugi: *just stares*
Joey: Anyways! It doesn't matter! *throws Mokuba off to the side… causing him to land on the bed with the two horny toads*
Mokuba: *snaps back to reality* Oh Tristan! I didn't know you cared! KISS ME!! *kisses Tristan*
Joey: *looks at the now horny threesome* *looks back at the sobbing Yugi huddled on the floor* Sorry Yug… looks like Mokuba likes Tristan, go figure.. hehehe
Yugi: NO BODY LOOVES ME!!!
Yami: *walks in* Um… Yugi, could ya help me?
Yugi: *looks happy again* What is it?? Need someone to LOVE??? I know the perfect person! MEE!!!!
Yami: Actually… I think I got slivers up my ass, I was wondering if you could get them out with tweezers for me…
Yugi: *is saddened* Oh… sure, hang on for a sec… *runs off to the bathroom, hopping over Grandpa's latest kill*
Joey: ….I don't even WANT to know where ya got those slivers from…
Yami: *gets teary eyes* But why not??? *starts to cry*
Joey: That's it, I'm done, I'm leaving… *leaves*
Yugi: *hops over the bloody mailman lying in the hallway and reenters the room* Here we are Yami… Yami? NO! NOT YOU TOO!!
Yami: Give it to me baby!!
Yugi: NOOOOOOOOOO!!! *turns evil… not into Yami… which makes this story very odd at this point…* THAT'S IT!! THERE WILL BE NO LOVE MAKING IN THIS ROOM IF I AM NOT INVOLVED!!!
Horny Bunch: But….
Yugi: SHUDDUP!! SHUDDUP AND DIE!!!! *pulls Tea from out of his closet*
Horny Bunch: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO- *deep breath* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!
Narrator: Eventually the horny bunch, minus Mokuba, who was too young in the first place, and Yami, who had some how had obtained a body between chapters, who was too sore anyways…
Yami: Damn slivers…. *holds bat in contempt*
Narrator: … yes. Anyways, Tristan and Bakura (ß both of them, yami and hikari… don't ask) ended up screwing on a hospital bed, since the neighbors, having young children around, said that they DIDN'T, although they did since they ran a small bed and breakfast, have a spare bed for their usage, although Tristan promised that they only needed it for about an hour…
::END REASON::
Anyways… moving on to the magical growing girl, she ran as fast as her now much longer legs could carry her. Thank god for the operation. She was supposed to only get an eye operation, but her brother was being so nice, not to mention he coughed up way to much money, so her mother advised her to also get a leg operation. Now she is a striking foot taller. Amazering!
Okay, so she is running right? Yeah, so she drags her luggage along with her also, actually its her poor brother on a leash (don't ask), to go see his "friend" who was supposedly in the hospital.
"Here we are Joey, room 336!" Serenity cried in joy, proud of her success in finding the proper room this time.
The two walked into the room quietly, trying not to disturb the "sleeping" boy on the bed.
Joey of course, couldn't help but lunge at the handsome boy once his eyes fell upon him. Since both siblings had known this would happen, Joey felt a quick, sharp restraint on his neck. He fell to the ground in anguish.
"Pleeeeease?" Joey whined into the floor. "Ill be good… I promise."
"Sorry! Kaiba is resting, SO YOU MUST BEHAVE!" She yelled as she smacked him on his "muzzle" with a "Readers' Digest" ironically.
Joey sunk to the floor whimpering about something pertaining to "abuse" and "animal rights" .
Serenity just cackled softly as she tied Joey's leash to the doorknob, much to his dismay.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Joey cried as she skipped off, leaving him to his misery.
Joey sobbed softly and made other random whimpering and mewling noises.
"Why is she soo EVIL???" He questioned in his head, and quite loudly outside of the confinements of his mind. "What have I done?? I should have gotten Yugi to bring me, I think he's over .. MY SETO!! by now."
Then a thought came to him.
"Seto!! Wake up!!"
Seto did nothing but lay there, his head in a slightly "odd" position. Joey tried again, and again, and again.
Finally after about 26 minutes, he pretty much gave up hope. He flopped to the floor and began to sob profusely.
"WAHHH!! I SOO SAD!!" He moaned in agony.
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Will Joey ever get to Seto??? Is Serenity eternally EVIL??? Will ANYONE EVAR looove Yugi??? Will Grandpa strike again???
Find out next time on: This fic!
….*coughs* um, yeah… sorry about the lack of updates.. first of all, FF.net wouldn't even load so I couldn't log on!
Secondly, this fic has no real point… I cant really write without a plot or a goal… so here is where you guys come in…
WHAT IS A GOOD PLOT/GOAL/STORYLINE??
What should I write about?
If you guys give me some really good ideas I can probably write faster and other small ideas will come to me. Yeah, so PLEASE give me some ideas!! I don't care if they are REALLY STUPID!! This WHOLE FIC IS STUPID so yeah… just PLEASE give me some ideas… *latches*
Example: Have Grandpa kill _______ with a ________.
I can do that kinda thing, that's all you really have to write if you want to, or you can go really into detail if you want. hehehe, I don't care.
Thanks again! Oh and please R/R!! *dances*