WHOSE LINE IS IT ANYWAY? EPISODE #1
*the camera pans down to Robin.*
Robin: Hi! Welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway?, where the points don't matter and boy, do I look good in tights! Our contestants tonight are Raven, Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Starfire.
Starfire: What is that black beast with the giant eye?!?! Augh!!
*She blasts it with her star bolts.*
Robin: Um, Star...that was just a camera.
*Misao Makimachi, the camera girl, dashes out with her knives in her hands*
Misao: Augh! I'll get you for that!
*Aoshi Shinamori, resident donut boy, comes in and carries the hysterical Misao off the set*
Misao: Oh! Hi, Aoshi-sama!
Robin: Okay, now that that's done with...
*The production assistant, Kenshin Himura, runs onstage.*
Kenshin: I don't mean to interrupt, Robin-san, but can you ask the little one with the cloak to remove her hood please? We can't see her face on the screen.
Raven: That's the point, you pony-tailed oddity.
Cyborg: Can we just get on with it, Robin?
Beast Boy: Can I be the bachelor for the Dating Game? Please please please????
Robin: Hm...we'll see.
#1- Newscasters
Robin: Our first will be Newscasters. Beast Boy will be the host, Cyborg will be his co-anchor, Raven will be the weathergirl, and Starfire does sports. Now, Cyborg is a Puritan thinking Beast Boy is a witch, Raven is a cheerleader, and Starfire is Beast Boy's ex.
Starfire: What is ex?
Robin: It means you used to date Beast Boy but you don't anymore.
Starfire: Oh.
*The four cast members sit on stools.*
Beast Boy: Hi, I'm Frank N. Stein, and I'll be your anchor tonight. This is my co-anchor R.T. Detoo.
Cyborg: Thou art a WITCH, thou green-skinned fiend!
Beast Boy: Okaaaay. Let's see what our resident weathergirl, Barbie Blonde, has to say.
Raven: *bobbling head* One-two-three-four! In Kansas it is gonna pour! Five- six-seven-eight! That's the temperatures in the southern states! Go Hurricane Herbert!
Beast Boy: Thanks, Barbie Blonde.
Raven: Like, thanks! *reverting to normal attitude* I hope this isn't being permanently recorded.
Beast Boy: No idea! What do you think, R.T. Detoo?
Cyborg: Evil! Evil! Burn, witch! Burn! *foams at the mouth*
Beast Boy: Yeah. Okay. Let's go to Viveca, our resident sports expert.
Starfire: Yes. You see here that the very tall man with the very short shorts bounced the large orange sphere down the rectangular playing area and threw it in the circular metal...circle. And I still do not know what an ex is. Can you explain what is an ex is, Beast Boy?
Beast Boy: Yes. You're my ex. You used to be my girlfriend. Then you broke up with me. So you're my ex.
Starfire: I did not realize we were dating.
*Robin bangs his buzzer several times, looking slightly disgruntled.*
Cyborg: *wiping the foam from his mouth.* Um, can we get the makeup girl in here? I think I'm rusting.
*Kaoru Kamiya, resident makeup artist, rushes in and sprays Rust-Off*
Robin: Okay, I think it's time we were on to our next . But a thousand points for Cyborg for drooling on national television.
#2- Dating
Robin: That was galvanizing. Okay, in this tarfire will be our lovely bachelorette and Raven, Cyborg, and Beast Boy will be the aspiring bachelors. Each one will be a different person.
Raven: Fantastic. Simply phantasmoriphic.
Starfire: Bachelor #1, if I was crying, what would you do?
Raven: Moo. Moo.
Starfire: I do not understand. Oh, well. Bachelor #2, what is your idea of a nice date?
Cyborg: I think it would be fun to watch a marathon of badly-dubbed kung fu movies. Maybe I can pick up some new moves from them.
Starfire: Bachelor #3, if you could speak any language in the world, what would you speak?
Beast Boy: Who are you kidding? I can barely speak English!
Starfire: Bachelor #1, I have good dreams at night. What do you dream of?
Raven: Bark. Bark. Bark bark.
Starfire: Bachelor #2, my favorite animal is a kitten. What is your favorite animal?
Cyborg: I like birds, for some unknown reason.
Raven: Chirp! Chirp! Chirp!
Starfire: Bachelor #3, I like to view romantic films. What kind of films do you enjoy?
Beast Boy: I like ones with big, giant robots. I have no idea why.
*Robin hits the buzzer.*
Robin: Starfire, have you figured out who everyone is?
Starfire: I believe Bachelor #1 was a cow. Or a dog. Or a bird. Is she Beast Boy?
Robin: Mm-hm.
Starfire: And Bachelor #3 was Cyborg.
Robin: Yes.
Starfire: But I do not know who Bachelor #2 is.
Robin: I'm not sure either.
Cyborg: Actually, I'm you.
Robin: Shut up. I don't watch badly dubbed kung-fu movies.
Beast Boy: But you-
*Robin bangs the buzzer.*
#3- Party Guests
Robin: Well, for the last , I think Starfire wins. Just because. Anyway, in this , Raven will be hosting a party-
Raven: I'm hosting a party? Why would I be doing that?
Robin: Just play along.
Raven: As long as it's not in my room...
*Seta Soujiro, the show's keyboardist, plays a doorbell-sounding note. Raven opens a pretend door.*
Raven: Hello. My, isn't it nice to see you again.
Beast Boy: *hic* Harry used to say that to me. . .
Raven: May I ask who Harry is?
Beast Boy: Oh, sure! Rub it in! *hic* HARRY!!!!
Raven: Whatever.
*Soujiro plays the doorbell note again.*
Raven: Hello.
Starfire: *down on all fours with her eyes closed.* Yip! Bark! *runs into Raven's knees.*
Raven:. . .
Starfire: Woof! *runs into the wall, still on all fours.* Ow. . .
*Soujiro, looking slightly disgruntled, hits the doorbell note once again.*
Raven: Hello. Welcome to my party. It is very off-the-heezy.
Cyborg: *in a two-tone voice.* I'm not a polar bear!
Raven: What kind of loser would invite these people to a party?
Beast Boy: *hic* Harry used to call me a loser. *hic hic* I think it was his pet name for me. . . *hic* Come back to me, Harry!
Raven: Go away, you drunk-woman-who-has-been-left-by-her-husband.
*Beast Boy leaves. Starfire galumphs around on all fours, barking and running into things.*
Raven: And what, I shudder to think, are you?
Starfire: Ruff! *runs into Sanosuke.*
Sano: Ow. . .
Raven: I hate blind puppies.
*Starfire gets up and leaves.*
Raven: So there's just you.
Cyborg: *holds a gold necklace in his teeth.* Will you be my bride? *still speaking in a two-tone voice.*
Raven: Robin, can we end this ? Cyborg is scaring the snot out of me.
*Robin hits the buzzer.*
Robin: Cyborg is the Polar Bear King.
Raven: Oh, sheesh, why didn't I think of that?
Robin: A thousand points for Beast Boy and his boyfriend Harry.
Beast Boy: Gee, thanks. I could have been the blind puppy a heck of a lot better than Star!
Starfire: *staring into her glass of water.* Have you any tangy yellow beverage, Robin? I would like some.
Robin: Star, you are NOT drinking mustard on national television.
Starfire: But I want mustard! GIVE ME MUSTARD NOW!!
Robin: *sweat drop.*
#4- Make Up A Song (And A Title, While I'm At It.)
Robin: This next is for Beast Boy.
Beast Boy: YES!!!
Robin: For this , we'll need an audience member.
*The camera pans through the audience. Very noticeable is a group of hyperactive thirteen-year-olds jumping around waving signs saying "PICK HER!" and pointing to a pretty blonde girl intent on a book.*
Robin: Hm, she'll do. Hey, you blondie!!
Blondie: Hm?
Robin: Come on down!! You've been picked!!
Blondie: *scowling mightily* Picked for what? Where am I? Yoh? Did you...*eyes flame* You are going to die.
Yoh: Meep.
Raven: I think I've found a kindred spirit.
Robin: Hurry up and come down. The natives are growing restless.
*Blondie reluctantly comes down to the stage and perches on the stool in the middle of the stage.*
Robin: What's your name, hon?
Blondie: Anna. And don't call me hon.
Starfire: *cries* He never even calls ME hon!!
Robin: Beast Boy, you're going to sing a song to Anna, about something she does. Anna, what's your favorite thing to do?
Anna: *glowering* Beating up Yoh.
Yoh: Meep.
Robin: Okay! Beast Boy, you're going to sing a song about Anna beating up Yoh in...punk ska style!!
*Soujiro starts playing his keyboard happily. (A/N- Sung to the melody of "K2G", the song sung in the "Mad Mod" episode.*
Beast Boy: *starts dancing*
Raven, Starfire, Cyborg, Anna, and Robin: *cover eyes*
Beast Boy: Oh, Anna is a blonde girl with the weirdest sense of fashion But despite that, her hobby is Yoh-bashin' Yoh is her fiancé, of that there is no doubt, but If he ever mouths off then she'll kick him in the gut Oh! So poor Yoh will never get his day Though there's lots of stuff he'd like to say Oh, Anna, can't you cut some slack? Nicer torture can be found on the rack. Oh, Anna is a nice girl, but she'd never let you know How nice she is, it would ruin her rep, so She will spend her days whipping and drop-kicking He'll be back in her good graces after a little sandal-licking So poor Yoh will never get his day Though there's lots of stuff he'd like to say Oh, Anna, all I can say to you His life is bad if he says "I do."
Audience: *applause*
Anna: *glower*
Beast Boy: *bowbowbowbow*
Anna: *whomps Beast Boy as she walks back.*
Robin: A thousand points for Beast Boy, because that is the biggest bruise I've ever seen.
Beast Boy: *keeling over* Thank you...
#5- The Hoedown
Robin: We've come to the last , the hoedown!! And even though points don't matter, Beast Boy wins.
Beast Boy: YES!!
Robin: *switching places with Beast Boy* So, what should the topic of our hoedown be? *audience calls out different ideas.* My utility belt? Okay, the Robin Utility Belt Hoedown!!
*Soujiro plays the hoedown music.*
Cyborg: Oh, Robin has a utility belt and he thinks it's really hot The chicks all squeal over it and make Star jealous a lot But even though he's got a belt, they shouldn't be excited, It's easy to defeat him, all you have to do is hide it.
Raven: Oh, Robin's belt may have gadgets, like a big stick and some disks And my belt doesn't do too much, its powers still are nix Some may call me jealous, but still I'll never rant I don't have to worry about my belt keeping up my pants.
Robin: My belt is just the coolest thing, I really think it is Even though my teammates think it's fun to diss I think it's envy speaking, they can just talk to the hand, Because my belt was a birthday gift from their hero Batman!
Starfire: Robin has a utility belt, all gold and bright and shiny I think I'm special too- I have a belt, though tiny But so does Raven, Beast Boy, and Terra, too Cyborg is the only one, so he's just a naxanoo!
Robin: What's a naxanoo?
Starfire: On my planet, it means someone who does not match everyone around him. I think here they say "an uncool person."
Cyborg: *throbbing vein* I'M NOT COOL?!?! YOU COME BACK HERE, STARFIRE!!!
Robin: *winces* Cyborg, I think this is a fight you can't win...well, anyway, folks, see you next time if the show isn't canceled!!!!
Author's Note: Keep going! More ahead!
*the camera pans down to Robin.*
Robin: Hi! Welcome to Whose Line is it Anyway?, where the points don't matter and boy, do I look good in tights! Our contestants tonight are Raven, Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Starfire.
Starfire: What is that black beast with the giant eye?!?! Augh!!
*She blasts it with her star bolts.*
Robin: Um, Star...that was just a camera.
*Misao Makimachi, the camera girl, dashes out with her knives in her hands*
Misao: Augh! I'll get you for that!
*Aoshi Shinamori, resident donut boy, comes in and carries the hysterical Misao off the set*
Misao: Oh! Hi, Aoshi-sama!
Robin: Okay, now that that's done with...
*The production assistant, Kenshin Himura, runs onstage.*
Kenshin: I don't mean to interrupt, Robin-san, but can you ask the little one with the cloak to remove her hood please? We can't see her face on the screen.
Raven: That's the point, you pony-tailed oddity.
Cyborg: Can we just get on with it, Robin?
Beast Boy: Can I be the bachelor for the Dating Game? Please please please????
Robin: Hm...we'll see.
#1- Newscasters
Robin: Our first will be Newscasters. Beast Boy will be the host, Cyborg will be his co-anchor, Raven will be the weathergirl, and Starfire does sports. Now, Cyborg is a Puritan thinking Beast Boy is a witch, Raven is a cheerleader, and Starfire is Beast Boy's ex.
Starfire: What is ex?
Robin: It means you used to date Beast Boy but you don't anymore.
Starfire: Oh.
*The four cast members sit on stools.*
Beast Boy: Hi, I'm Frank N. Stein, and I'll be your anchor tonight. This is my co-anchor R.T. Detoo.
Cyborg: Thou art a WITCH, thou green-skinned fiend!
Beast Boy: Okaaaay. Let's see what our resident weathergirl, Barbie Blonde, has to say.
Raven: *bobbling head* One-two-three-four! In Kansas it is gonna pour! Five- six-seven-eight! That's the temperatures in the southern states! Go Hurricane Herbert!
Beast Boy: Thanks, Barbie Blonde.
Raven: Like, thanks! *reverting to normal attitude* I hope this isn't being permanently recorded.
Beast Boy: No idea! What do you think, R.T. Detoo?
Cyborg: Evil! Evil! Burn, witch! Burn! *foams at the mouth*
Beast Boy: Yeah. Okay. Let's go to Viveca, our resident sports expert.
Starfire: Yes. You see here that the very tall man with the very short shorts bounced the large orange sphere down the rectangular playing area and threw it in the circular metal...circle. And I still do not know what an ex is. Can you explain what is an ex is, Beast Boy?
Beast Boy: Yes. You're my ex. You used to be my girlfriend. Then you broke up with me. So you're my ex.
Starfire: I did not realize we were dating.
*Robin bangs his buzzer several times, looking slightly disgruntled.*
Cyborg: *wiping the foam from his mouth.* Um, can we get the makeup girl in here? I think I'm rusting.
*Kaoru Kamiya, resident makeup artist, rushes in and sprays Rust-Off*
Robin: Okay, I think it's time we were on to our next . But a thousand points for Cyborg for drooling on national television.
#2- Dating
Robin: That was galvanizing. Okay, in this tarfire will be our lovely bachelorette and Raven, Cyborg, and Beast Boy will be the aspiring bachelors. Each one will be a different person.
Raven: Fantastic. Simply phantasmoriphic.
Starfire: Bachelor #1, if I was crying, what would you do?
Raven: Moo. Moo.
Starfire: I do not understand. Oh, well. Bachelor #2, what is your idea of a nice date?
Cyborg: I think it would be fun to watch a marathon of badly-dubbed kung fu movies. Maybe I can pick up some new moves from them.
Starfire: Bachelor #3, if you could speak any language in the world, what would you speak?
Beast Boy: Who are you kidding? I can barely speak English!
Starfire: Bachelor #1, I have good dreams at night. What do you dream of?
Raven: Bark. Bark. Bark bark.
Starfire: Bachelor #2, my favorite animal is a kitten. What is your favorite animal?
Cyborg: I like birds, for some unknown reason.
Raven: Chirp! Chirp! Chirp!
Starfire: Bachelor #3, I like to view romantic films. What kind of films do you enjoy?
Beast Boy: I like ones with big, giant robots. I have no idea why.
*Robin hits the buzzer.*
Robin: Starfire, have you figured out who everyone is?
Starfire: I believe Bachelor #1 was a cow. Or a dog. Or a bird. Is she Beast Boy?
Robin: Mm-hm.
Starfire: And Bachelor #3 was Cyborg.
Robin: Yes.
Starfire: But I do not know who Bachelor #2 is.
Robin: I'm not sure either.
Cyborg: Actually, I'm you.
Robin: Shut up. I don't watch badly dubbed kung-fu movies.
Beast Boy: But you-
*Robin bangs the buzzer.*
#3- Party Guests
Robin: Well, for the last , I think Starfire wins. Just because. Anyway, in this , Raven will be hosting a party-
Raven: I'm hosting a party? Why would I be doing that?
Robin: Just play along.
Raven: As long as it's not in my room...
*Seta Soujiro, the show's keyboardist, plays a doorbell-sounding note. Raven opens a pretend door.*
Raven: Hello. My, isn't it nice to see you again.
Beast Boy: *hic* Harry used to say that to me. . .
Raven: May I ask who Harry is?
Beast Boy: Oh, sure! Rub it in! *hic* HARRY!!!!
Raven: Whatever.
*Soujiro plays the doorbell note again.*
Raven: Hello.
Starfire: *down on all fours with her eyes closed.* Yip! Bark! *runs into Raven's knees.*
Raven:. . .
Starfire: Woof! *runs into the wall, still on all fours.* Ow. . .
*Soujiro, looking slightly disgruntled, hits the doorbell note once again.*
Raven: Hello. Welcome to my party. It is very off-the-heezy.
Cyborg: *in a two-tone voice.* I'm not a polar bear!
Raven: What kind of loser would invite these people to a party?
Beast Boy: *hic* Harry used to call me a loser. *hic hic* I think it was his pet name for me. . . *hic* Come back to me, Harry!
Raven: Go away, you drunk-woman-who-has-been-left-by-her-husband.
*Beast Boy leaves. Starfire galumphs around on all fours, barking and running into things.*
Raven: And what, I shudder to think, are you?
Starfire: Ruff! *runs into Sanosuke.*
Sano: Ow. . .
Raven: I hate blind puppies.
*Starfire gets up and leaves.*
Raven: So there's just you.
Cyborg: *holds a gold necklace in his teeth.* Will you be my bride? *still speaking in a two-tone voice.*
Raven: Robin, can we end this ? Cyborg is scaring the snot out of me.
*Robin hits the buzzer.*
Robin: Cyborg is the Polar Bear King.
Raven: Oh, sheesh, why didn't I think of that?
Robin: A thousand points for Beast Boy and his boyfriend Harry.
Beast Boy: Gee, thanks. I could have been the blind puppy a heck of a lot better than Star!
Starfire: *staring into her glass of water.* Have you any tangy yellow beverage, Robin? I would like some.
Robin: Star, you are NOT drinking mustard on national television.
Starfire: But I want mustard! GIVE ME MUSTARD NOW!!
Robin: *sweat drop.*
#4- Make Up A Song (And A Title, While I'm At It.)
Robin: This next is for Beast Boy.
Beast Boy: YES!!!
Robin: For this , we'll need an audience member.
*The camera pans through the audience. Very noticeable is a group of hyperactive thirteen-year-olds jumping around waving signs saying "PICK HER!" and pointing to a pretty blonde girl intent on a book.*
Robin: Hm, she'll do. Hey, you blondie!!
Blondie: Hm?
Robin: Come on down!! You've been picked!!
Blondie: *scowling mightily* Picked for what? Where am I? Yoh? Did you...*eyes flame* You are going to die.
Yoh: Meep.
Raven: I think I've found a kindred spirit.
Robin: Hurry up and come down. The natives are growing restless.
*Blondie reluctantly comes down to the stage and perches on the stool in the middle of the stage.*
Robin: What's your name, hon?
Blondie: Anna. And don't call me hon.
Starfire: *cries* He never even calls ME hon!!
Robin: Beast Boy, you're going to sing a song to Anna, about something she does. Anna, what's your favorite thing to do?
Anna: *glowering* Beating up Yoh.
Yoh: Meep.
Robin: Okay! Beast Boy, you're going to sing a song about Anna beating up Yoh in...punk ska style!!
*Soujiro starts playing his keyboard happily. (A/N- Sung to the melody of "K2G", the song sung in the "Mad Mod" episode.*
Beast Boy: *starts dancing*
Raven, Starfire, Cyborg, Anna, and Robin: *cover eyes*
Beast Boy: Oh, Anna is a blonde girl with the weirdest sense of fashion But despite that, her hobby is Yoh-bashin' Yoh is her fiancé, of that there is no doubt, but If he ever mouths off then she'll kick him in the gut Oh! So poor Yoh will never get his day Though there's lots of stuff he'd like to say Oh, Anna, can't you cut some slack? Nicer torture can be found on the rack. Oh, Anna is a nice girl, but she'd never let you know How nice she is, it would ruin her rep, so She will spend her days whipping and drop-kicking He'll be back in her good graces after a little sandal-licking So poor Yoh will never get his day Though there's lots of stuff he'd like to say Oh, Anna, all I can say to you His life is bad if he says "I do."
Audience: *applause*
Anna: *glower*
Beast Boy: *bowbowbowbow*
Anna: *whomps Beast Boy as she walks back.*
Robin: A thousand points for Beast Boy, because that is the biggest bruise I've ever seen.
Beast Boy: *keeling over* Thank you...
#5- The Hoedown
Robin: We've come to the last , the hoedown!! And even though points don't matter, Beast Boy wins.
Beast Boy: YES!!
Robin: *switching places with Beast Boy* So, what should the topic of our hoedown be? *audience calls out different ideas.* My utility belt? Okay, the Robin Utility Belt Hoedown!!
*Soujiro plays the hoedown music.*
Cyborg: Oh, Robin has a utility belt and he thinks it's really hot The chicks all squeal over it and make Star jealous a lot But even though he's got a belt, they shouldn't be excited, It's easy to defeat him, all you have to do is hide it.
Raven: Oh, Robin's belt may have gadgets, like a big stick and some disks And my belt doesn't do too much, its powers still are nix Some may call me jealous, but still I'll never rant I don't have to worry about my belt keeping up my pants.
Robin: My belt is just the coolest thing, I really think it is Even though my teammates think it's fun to diss I think it's envy speaking, they can just talk to the hand, Because my belt was a birthday gift from their hero Batman!
Starfire: Robin has a utility belt, all gold and bright and shiny I think I'm special too- I have a belt, though tiny But so does Raven, Beast Boy, and Terra, too Cyborg is the only one, so he's just a naxanoo!
Robin: What's a naxanoo?
Starfire: On my planet, it means someone who does not match everyone around him. I think here they say "an uncool person."
Cyborg: *throbbing vein* I'M NOT COOL?!?! YOU COME BACK HERE, STARFIRE!!!
Robin: *winces* Cyborg, I think this is a fight you can't win...well, anyway, folks, see you next time if the show isn't canceled!!!!
Author's Note: Keep going! More ahead!