Disclaimer: you know the drill. I own nothing and somebody else does.
I lost something very important to me…and before anybody thinks anything different, I'm not talking about Aerith.
Yes. She was important to me. She was…no…never mind. She was just another in a long line of people and things that have left me.
I lost something very important to me. I lost my innocence. Does that sound funny to you? I probably don't mean it the way you think. I lost my not knowing. My ignorance.
Maybe I should have said I lost my shields. I lost my armor. I have nothing to hide behind now.
Not knowing who I was, not remembering my past. That was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I've regained myself. I've lost my place to hide.
I remember it all now. There wasn't much for me growing up. No body really liked me. Tifa might say differently, but if I had disappeared altogether, she wouldn't have even noticed. So I left. I left the town to become strong. I wanted to return a champion. A hero.
I met someone there. I met Zack. He was everything I wanted to be. He was strong and handsome. He wasn't afraid of what anybody said. He was skillful with the ladies. He was my friend.
I met someone lese there too. I met Sephiroth. My childhood hero. He was everything I was afraid of becoming. He was everything I fought to become.
The three of us came back to my home town. I came back a failure. I watched as the man I looked up to more than anything, slaughtered everyone I knew and burnt my home to the ground.
He cut down Tifa and then Zack. And then I finished him.
I still wasn't a hero.
Again I failed and spent the next few years as a lab rat. I can still remember all the pain and torment that I went through every time I close my eyes. Even when I couldn't remember it, I still felt it somehow.
We escaped. Myself and Zack. I was little more than a drooling vegetable then. And I watched as Zack fell for the second time. This time he wouldn't be getting up.
My mind began to piece itself back together then. Slowly and not at all in the correct way. Part of me was Cloud. Part of Me was Zack and as I would find out later, a very dangerous part of me was Sephiroth.
Tifa found me. Still to this day, she showers me with affection and love. I won't lie. It feels good. It's too late though. When I loved her, she barely knew who I was. Then I spent five years thinking about her dead from Sephiroth's blade. I didn't know she survived. How could I? KNow that we're back together, I still can't begin to understand how things have become.
Then there's Aeris.
Lovely, graceful, devoted, innocent, beautiful, kind. Everything that I feel a woman should be. Except Alive.
I wish I knew whether she loved me or the fragments of Zack she saw. I wish I knew if I ever loved her. I wish she had never met me. She might still be alive.
We unleashed the WEAPONS.
We've blow up the reactors, killing people to stop the Planet from dying.
Countless people have died because I've tried to play the hero.
Overtime, I've discovered again, who I am.
I'm Cloud Strife.
One of the two surviving members of Nibelheim.
A boy who never became a SOLDIER.
A child who's just now discovering what it is to simple BE.
A man who's just afraid.
Tomorrow, we descend into the Northern Crater. At the end I'll have to face Sephiroth one last time. You see, he's planning to destroy the Planet and ……
Someone anyone …..help me.
I don't even know why I'm trying to stop him.
I lost something very important to me…and before anybody thinks anything different, I'm not talking about Aerith.
Yes. She was important to me. She was…no…never mind. She was just another in a long line of people and things that have left me.
I lost something very important to me. I lost my innocence. Does that sound funny to you? I probably don't mean it the way you think. I lost my not knowing. My ignorance.
Maybe I should have said I lost my shields. I lost my armor. I have nothing to hide behind now.
Not knowing who I was, not remembering my past. That was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I've regained myself. I've lost my place to hide.
I remember it all now. There wasn't much for me growing up. No body really liked me. Tifa might say differently, but if I had disappeared altogether, she wouldn't have even noticed. So I left. I left the town to become strong. I wanted to return a champion. A hero.
I met someone there. I met Zack. He was everything I wanted to be. He was strong and handsome. He wasn't afraid of what anybody said. He was skillful with the ladies. He was my friend.
I met someone lese there too. I met Sephiroth. My childhood hero. He was everything I was afraid of becoming. He was everything I fought to become.
The three of us came back to my home town. I came back a failure. I watched as the man I looked up to more than anything, slaughtered everyone I knew and burnt my home to the ground.
He cut down Tifa and then Zack. And then I finished him.
I still wasn't a hero.
Again I failed and spent the next few years as a lab rat. I can still remember all the pain and torment that I went through every time I close my eyes. Even when I couldn't remember it, I still felt it somehow.
We escaped. Myself and Zack. I was little more than a drooling vegetable then. And I watched as Zack fell for the second time. This time he wouldn't be getting up.
My mind began to piece itself back together then. Slowly and not at all in the correct way. Part of me was Cloud. Part of Me was Zack and as I would find out later, a very dangerous part of me was Sephiroth.
Tifa found me. Still to this day, she showers me with affection and love. I won't lie. It feels good. It's too late though. When I loved her, she barely knew who I was. Then I spent five years thinking about her dead from Sephiroth's blade. I didn't know she survived. How could I? KNow that we're back together, I still can't begin to understand how things have become.
Then there's Aeris.
Lovely, graceful, devoted, innocent, beautiful, kind. Everything that I feel a woman should be. Except Alive.
I wish I knew whether she loved me or the fragments of Zack she saw. I wish I knew if I ever loved her. I wish she had never met me. She might still be alive.
We unleashed the WEAPONS.
We've blow up the reactors, killing people to stop the Planet from dying.
Countless people have died because I've tried to play the hero.
Overtime, I've discovered again, who I am.
I'm Cloud Strife.
One of the two surviving members of Nibelheim.
A boy who never became a SOLDIER.
A child who's just now discovering what it is to simple BE.
A man who's just afraid.
Tomorrow, we descend into the Northern Crater. At the end I'll have to face Sephiroth one last time. You see, he's planning to destroy the Planet and ……
Someone anyone …..help me.
I don't even know why I'm trying to stop him.