Disclaimer: I don't own Katie Bell. J.K. Rowling and the WB do. I'm a broke college student,and I'm making no money from this little fic, so please don't sue me. It's not like you'd be getting much anyway. The other two characters belong to their respective owners. I own Emily, and Phel owns Stephan. They are of our on creation. Enjoy reading.
Dark clouds loom over head, blocking out the midday sun. Rain falls silently onto the ground, already wet from the previous days rain. A woman dressed all in black walks silently up the hill, heading towards a giant tree. She is already soaking wet, for she carries no umbrella, but it is obvious that the rain and her drenched clothes mean nothing to her. She has something more important to take care of.
She reaches the tree, and slowly sits onto the stone bench that is found there. She folds her hands in her lap, her fingers playing with the edges of her black veil. "It's been another year," she says. "So I'm here again. The weather's appropriate, dark and gloomy. The same as it has been for years. They're calling it a phenomenon you know. How it rains for a week straight. The weather men still can't see it coming." she smiles underneath the veil.
"I remember it all like it was yesterday. It was five years after the defeat of the dark lord. Five wonderful years. We all thought we were going to be fine. That we were going to be safe. Until he came along. Not as powerful as the dark lord had been, but he was still strong. And terrifying. He killed people far more ruthlessly than the dark lord ever did. And at least he had a reason. This new evil had no reason. He killed for the pleasure of killing. For a while, it seemed like everything was going to be all right. That he was going to be defeated. That life would return to normal."
"But it didn't work out that way. After living a year in terror, you came home to me after a day in the offices. I know you were shocked to find me cooking. But it was our anniversary. I wanted to do something special for you. I was so happy to see you, remember? How I threw my arms around you, holding you tightly, then looking up to kiss you. Only you wouldn't let me. I knew something was wrong, so, as always, I pushed and prodded, finally getting out of you what was wrong. Two of your closest friends had been killed the previous day. You had had enough. You were going to go to war, and that you would be leaving the next morning."
"I was shocked, to say the least. I never thought I would hear that from you. I tried to back you out of it, but you were determined. And then you tried to get me to join the war. And I refused. I couldn't give up my position on the team, I told you. You called me selfish for still wanting to play a stupid game when people were dying. I remember screaming at you that that game I played was one of the few things giving hope to people. It was a morale booster! I was part of the war! Just not the way you wanted me to be." she sighs softly, remembering the pain.
"You stormed out of the house that night. You never said goodbye to me. All I got from you was a door slammed into my face. I cried the night you left me. I sobbed and sobbed for hours, all alone, with no one to comfort me. My best friend was in America with her husband, and everyone else, I had either severed ties with, or they were busy with the war. I had no one to turn to. I tried to owl you, but everyday my owl came back with a sad look in his eyes. Yet I still kept trying. I had to reach you. I had to let you know I loved you. That I was sorry."
"A month after you left, I found out what I had been dreaming for since we were married. I was pregnant. I was carrying our child. We were going to be a family. A real family. I sent hundreds of owls out for the next eight months, trying to let you know. You had to know. You needed to know. I wanted you to know so badly. I wanted to share the joy of having a child with you. You, the only man I had ever loved so much that it almost hurt every time I thought of how much I loved you." tears slowly fall down her already wet cheeks.
"And still, they kept coming back to me. I contacted the Ministry. They refused to tell me what was going on. They refused to tell me where you were. I remember screaming at them so frantically one afternoon, that they threatened to take away my wand if I didn't leave immediately. It was my only defense. My only thing I had to protect our child with, because you were gone."
"My eyes were blood shot on a daily basis. Because I was pregnant I could no longer play. I was still on the team, but a reserve had to take my spot while I was on maternity leave. It was so painful, watching them practice almost every day. They made me attend the practices, mostly to get me out of the house, so I wouldn't be by myself. I normally cried through the practices. The pain of not being able to play, plus the pain of not having you around was too much."
"When I was eight months pregnant, I tried even harder to reach you. I used all the connections I had, but they all led me no where. The Ministry in fact almost took my wand away, until a friend I had there chastised them for trying to take away a poor woman's only defense. I guess my being pregnant helped in some way. There was an unborn child that needed to be protected."
"Before I knew it, another month had passed, and I was in the hospital. Giving birth to our child, our daughter. And then that's when I found out. The doctors tried to keep him away from me. I had just given birth. They didn't want to upset me, afraid of complications. But I saw him and the doctors arguing, and I had to know. My curiosity rising again. Only to bring me pain. Horrible, dreadful pain. You had died, only hours before, on some secret mission, in hopes of destroying the new dark lord."
"The group you were with succeeded. But ten of you went in, and only four of you came back to us. You died as I was giving birth to the child you never knew about. The Ministry wouldn't let me get into contact with you because you were on such secret mission. So secret, even your location during training was known to only a few."
"I never got to say goodbye. I never got to tell you how much I loved you. I screamed in fits of rage and pain at the delivery man. He was terrified out of his mind, and I don't blame him. I remember screaming at him that he must be lying. You couldn't be dead. It was impossible. You could never leave me for good. Somehow they calmed me down, and somehow I slept. I slept for a long time. Almost three days they told me. When they woke me, I saw our daughter's face for the first time. She was beautiful. I almost named her Stephanie, but my soul and heart would have died every time I heard and said her name. So I named her Emily instead. I held her in my arms, and cried, knowing I was holding something that was a part of you, but that I would never have you in my arms again. I cried when they tried to take her away from me. I was afraid of losing her like I lost you."
"A week later, and we were out of the hospital, and at your funeral. It was only then that I truly believed you were dead. I had to leave halfway through the sermon because my crying was so disruptive. At first, I was going to take Emily with me, but I knew this was the only time she was going to get to spend with her father, and not have to look at a grey headstone. So I left her with my best friend and her two children, and walked away from your casket, standing tall and proud as I broke down inside. Somehow I managed to compose myself before the end of the sermon. I don't know how, but I convinced everyone to let me have some last minutes alone with you. They all left, and it was just me and you. It's a wonder how magic can repair the body, and yet can't bring back the soul."
"It looked like you were sleeping. I wanted to climb into that casket with you, just to be in your arms. I touched your hair as tears ran down my face again. It was still so soft. Just how I remembered it. And then I touched your cheek; it was ice cold. Oh what a blow that was to me, and I fell out of the chair next to your coffin, crying out my heart and soul, screaming at nothing, wanting to know what either of us had done to deserve this. The pastor came back, and held me tightly, comforting me like a father would a daughter. He stopped my tears somehow, and we called everyone back, so that they could pay their final respects."
"Watching them lower you into the ground was so difficult. I wanted to scream so badly at them to let me join you. Emily was in my arms, and she made these sweet little noises, making me look down at her, and I knew I couldn't leave her. She needed a mother. It was selfish of me to want to leave her so I could be with you. You called me selfish the night you left, and I didn't want you to be right. After everyone left, Emily and I watched the grave diggers as they covered your coffin with dirt and grass."
"I couldn't bring myself to attend the memorial service, so Emily and I went home. I took her to bed with me, and I slept. Peacefully. I don't know why."
She wipes the tears away from her eyes. "She's grown up so much. It's her tenth birthday today. She wanted to come, but I wouldn't let her. She's at home, having her birthday party, playing with her friends. But I know she's thinking of us. She looks so much like you. Her hair is the same color, and it's just as soft. Her eyes sparkle like yours, and she's secretive like you as well. But just like you, I smile, and she caves in."
"Emily asks so many questions about me and you, and I tell her almost everything. She loves to hear the stories. Her favorite story is when we stayed up that one night, laughing ourselves silly over several things, especially over how I had used the word convulsions. She loves knowing that Mommy and Daddy were so silly." a very small, very faint smile crosses her face. "It was that night I knew I loved you. I told you that. I didn't realize it at first. I didn't want to. I was still trying to be in love with another man. But you had stolen my heart, and I was glad you had."
Katharine Bell Cornfoot moves off of the stone bench and onto her knees, throwing her arms around the grey headstone. She weeps openly, as she has for the past ten years, softly saying, "I love you Stephan. I always have, I always will. There is no "until death do us part" for me, for you will always be the one I love. I love you Stephan, and I never got to say goodbye."