Chapter 14

Sometimes Dreams can be Real

Erik

            I sat at the edge of the lake, my shoulders hunched over my body so steep that my arms hung down as my fingertips dipped into the cool water below me. Perhaps my body would just give up and I would tumble into the water and quickly drown to a painless death. I felt so numb. Fall into the water, to be covered by the dark deep depths that shielded my existence from the rest of the world in life. Perhaps it would do the same in death. I had not eaten in a week, my mouth was dry and I just wanted to end it all. It was so close. That end so near. That eternal sleep which I had longed for, so close and yet still far away.

            Because of hope, that flickering candle of hope still burning beneath this tortured shell. Hope that she would return. Belle would come back, she had promised. But for now I could only pray, which hadn't worked much for me in the past. I looked over the water; it's black surface reflected like some distorted mirror. I thought of how many times I had rowed back and forth on those waters. With Christine, frighten and asking question as she peered about in the darkness. With Belle as she sat quite and trembling. How cold and silence it was down here I thought. The perfect grave.

            "Erik!" I heard my name called from afar. I lifted my head slightly at the noise. I could not tell if it was real or in my head. The voice sounded so far off, but was contain within the cellars of the opera or the frail sanity within my mind. I attempted to sit up listening again. Nothing. From where I was I could see the other side of the lake and it's small dock.

            "Erik…find…you." The voice came again, broken and faint. I reason that I must have been hearing things. I was seized by another coughing fit, more blood this time. My mouth wet, I rest upon my knees and hands, hacking the fluid onto the stone floor. It didn't matter anymore. I was going to die; the hearing of this voice was just a sign of my rapid delusions. There was no one coming to my aid, not Belle or Christine, Nadir or even the mob that would be doing me a favor by ending my life. But then I noticed the light glistening on the waters and around me change, distorted by a shadow passing through it. "No! Erik!" the voice gasped, but it was clear. Not even I could imagine something sounding that real. I turned my head in the direction of the voice and to my amazement saw a figure standing on the small dock. It was Belle. There she stood in dress and cloak, waving her arms frantically to get my attention.

            "Belle" I whispered. I pushed myself up to my feet. No this had to be a dream I kept telling myself. Yet I managed to make my way to the boat, rowing it towards the other side. My hands slipped from the pole and my knees felt they would buckle beneath me at any moment. But dream or not, I was coming. "I'm coming…" I said under my breath. "I'm coming for you." She stood there waiting for me, her eyes wide and anxious, and her hair wild around her face looked like she had been riding. Yet she was still a beautiful evoking sight to me. I reached the shore to her amazement and mine, but stumbled and nearly fell trying to step out of the boat. I was still very weak and she could tell it. She went to my side trying to steady me.

            "Erik, I'm so sorry." She said. "I would have come sooner."

            I was amazed she had come back at all, much lest find the lake again. I looked up at her face, trying to suppress another cough, the blood literally raging within my throat. I noticed she had a small cut on the side of her head. I lifted my figures to it in concern. "Belle you are hurt." I said.  Her flesh though wounded still felt so soft under my fingertips. She touched her hand up against mine.   

            "I'll be fine." She said sweetly. "But we need to get you back to your home. You're sick."

            "How did you know?" I asked. She lowered her head as she tried to lift me up to my feet again. I leaned against her and she helped me into the boat.

            "I had this dream, when I was away, I had this horrible dream. I saw you in my room; you were coughing and so weak. I had to come back."  She looked at me closer now, tears starting to leak from her crystal blues eyes. "Erik you'll be okay, won't you?" she asked her voice cracking as she did.

            I couldn't lie to her. "I don't know how long…" I trailed off. That only seemed to spark her determination. She picked of the pole and started to row the boat by herself, paddling with mighty stroke I wouldn't expect from her frail body.

            "I'll get you home. I promised I would come back. And I'll take care of you Erik, I swear." She said to reassure me. I could only sit there admiring her courage. I should be the one caring for you, I wanted to tell her, but I could not control my illness any longer. Again blood spurted form my mouth. Belle adverted her eyes so she could not see me. I could tell it was painful for her to watch. The more I coughed the harder she would row. Finally we made it to the other side, and she helped me once more. She reached into the fold of her dress and withdrew a plain white lady's handkerchief covered with handmade lace, holding it in the direction on my face. I put out my hand refusing it.

            "No I couldn't." I protested still coughing into my own shirtsleeve. But she gave me a firm look and then stepped forward, moved my hand in a way to placed the cloth over my mouth. She held it there tightly as I coughed even harder. She gazed at me with sadness in her eyes. I in return looked at her with a look of thanks in my own eyes. We made our way into my house, I held her tight against me partly for support and balance and part that I simply didn't want to let her go. She didn't resist any of my actions.

            "We need to get you some rest," she said pushing open the door to the room I had made for her. She helped me on the bed, and sat on the other side beside my head, placing pillows under my neck. I sighed, glancing up at her, finally able to pull the handkerchief away and speak.

            "You…came…back." I stuttered meekly. She reached over to the basin of water in her nightstand. I had filled it with warm water everyday since she had left; I hope that she would return. She took a damp towel and leaned over to wash the blood from around my lips. But she could barely look at me without crying. I was hurting her.

            "I came home." She replied. I put my arm over hers stopping her.

            "You don't have to stay. Just leave me. It's better for both of us." I begged. But she only took my fingers, curling the in her palm.

            "How can you stay that? No please don't say that."  She cried harder now. Holding my hand she laid down beside me her head resting inches away from mine. Her soft hair grazed across my forehead and I sighed at our close contact. I wanted to hold her in my arms, and kiss her but I couldn't. I was a disease, a plague. I couldn't touch her. But there was no need. She touched me; she cared for me willingly, even though we both could tell it was a lost cause. But maybe in these last moments it wouldn't matter. I reached out and wiped away one of her tears, stroking her wet cheeks with my fingers.

            "I'm came back, and I'll help you get better. Please Erik, believe me." She said

            "I do. You can do anything Belle." I replied. That gave her reason to smile as a rosy blush came in her cheeks. Then she cleared her throat and sighed as if she had something important to say.

            "Erik, may I please tell you something?" she asked. I let my arm wrap around her shoulder. It hurt to raise myself up and the terrible burning sensation in my chest increased. But I didn't care. Theses last moments please let me have them in comfort with the woman I love. Let me be loved at least for the last moments in my life. "Ever since I left that night of the masquerade, I haven't been the same…without you that is. I mean you have changed me so much. I look at life in an entire new way and have this wonderful feeling of being alive and…free. You Erik are the most fascinating and wonderful person I have ever met. I know it might seem forward and perhaps a bit rash, but I have to come out and say this…" her tears increase and I tried to determine if they were tears of joy or sorrow." Erik…I…"

            "Love you." I finished forward knowing it was too good to be true. She looked at me surprised and gasped sharply. Yet I noticed a smile across her lips.

            "You…how did you know?" she asked overcome.

            I felt growing warmth inside me but not from pain, but from love. "I guessed really." I said with a small laugh. My grip on her hand tightens. "But I also hoped and prayed."

            "Oh but Erik it's true. I do love you!" She slipped her other arm around my neck and pulled herself closer. Her face absolutely glowed with excitement. Then she looked deep into my eyes. "Do you feel the same about me?" she asked timidly.

            "Yes I do." I whispered back. I stroked her hair and then leaned forward to kiss her gently on the forehead. Sighing I let my head fall back on the pillow sighing. "I'm thankful I had the chance to see you again…one last time."

            "No, don't say that. I'm here now everything is going to be…fine." She closed her eyes and titled her head down towards mine. And without another word she kissed me softly on the lips. Tears flowed from my eyes, dripping from under my mask. There where no mournful cries of pity, or "poor unhappy Erik" in this kiss. No farewells. This was one of salvation. It was done purely out of love she did not even care that my very being was filled with disease that she could get herself sick as well. She didn't care. Christine had indeed been my angel, but Belle, she was my savior. There had to be no taste more delightful, no warmth more comforting than that of her lips at this moment.

            "That is for you." She whispered into my ear drawing away. "With many more to come. But now you must sleep. Rest for your strength and for me." That sounded like a good idea to me. She curled up beside me on the bed, the warmth of her body resonating onto the sheets.

"Sleep my angel"

Belle

            I lay quietly on the bed beside Erik. I could not tell if I was wake or asleep. I supposed somewhere in between. I could still hear Erik breathing beside me, his warm breath escaping from his mouth cascading around the space we occupied. Happy thought clouded my dreams. Thoughts of love, marriage, children. Children. I have never thought o that before. I had been content to imagine my days alone, surrounded by my books and music, but still alone.

            But not now.

            I felt the need to reach out my hand to his. It was shockingly improper for and unmarried man and woman to be sleeping next together this close, but I didn't care, and I don't think I had ever cared. Forget the world, here down in the darkness in our shelter of music and beauty, Erik and I were safe. I felt a light fill the room and it did not take me long to realizes this light did not come from any single candle being lit or a door being open into a another room. No, this light flooded everything and it was so bright I could see it even with my eyes shut. I jerked to wakefulness looking to my side. Erik wasn't there. The whole room was full of the blinding gold light. I dove into the sheets beside me, which were still warm, feeling about. "Erik! Erik where are you?' I shouted. I clamped the empty fabric in my hands and started to cry. I couldn't see anything except the light.

            "Belle…" I heard his silky voice echo behind me. And then I felt a firm hand on my shoulder and I turned around. It was Erik, I could see him now even in the shiny light, he seem to be surround by it almost part of it. He reached a hand up to my face, stroking my cheek, and my lips gently in one caress. "Belle, don't cry for me. I can't bear to see you cry." His face, mask and entire body glowed and behind him two shapes, like abstract wings, were formed of pure light. I wanted to reach out and touch them. No this is all a dream I told myself. Yet I went to touch them anyway and my fingertips were greeted by the soft texture of feathers. They were real, real angel wings. I withdrew back in shock. I looked him over again, everything about him glowing. In one hand he clutched his violin.

            "No this is a dream." I gasped. "This isn't you Erik, this can't be real." One of his fingers wiped away one of my falling tears.

            "But it is." He replied. "And I'm sorry I have to go now."  I could see him pulling away from me. Why was he going, why the wing? Was he now an… I could hardly bring myself to say it.

            "Erik are you an angel?"

            "What would you think of me as?" was his only answer. I grabbed his hands. I could feel him slipping.

            "No Erik, you can't leave me. Please we've come so far!" I begged.

            I could feel his breath right on my ear. "You knew I was very sick my dear. It was…"

            "No!" I shouted crying harder than ever before. "You can't. I was going to take care of you."

            "It would having taken a miracle to save me."

            I leaned down to kiss his hand over and over again. It was quite for a moment. I couldn't tell what was going on. Erik couldn't be dead. Why was I seeing this? Finally I spoke. "But I believe. I believe and miracles, and I believe in you."  He leaned down to kiss me on the forehead. The scent of his linen dress shirt and the soft smell of soap and rosin that I was accustomed to with him surrounded me.

            "You will remember me when I'm gone, won't you?" he asked. "Remember me and my music." He lowered his eyes and placed the violin in my hands. I curled my fingers around it; touching the body of the instruments as it was one of Erik's hands, tracing my touch along the strings as if they were strands of his hair.

            "I'll always remember." I cried. He started to pull away again, his light fading. I couldn't live without him, he couldn't leave. I grabbed him by his shirt collar and pulled him back towards me and kissed him full on the lips. He tasted so sweet. I let my hand slip under his mask; I just wanted to see him. He didn't stop me. I kept my eyes close at first, only feeling the skin under the mask. Nothing unusual at first but as my fingers strayed from where his cheeks were to his eyes and nose, I could feel the texture beneath my fingers change. I could tell where the deformities where around the eyes sockets the tightly stretched skin, and the nose, I was more than certain there was none. I cried harder than ever before. My Erik, my poor angel. What had he done to deserve this? I decided not to open my eyes. I could in this moment feel his pain, and sorrow, his desperation.

            He couldn't leave, not now.

            But I felt a rush of cold wind brush against my face and all around me. I felt the mask slip off and into my hand. I opened my eyes.

            Erik was gone. The room was empty. Nothing as was as if he never was. I held in my hands his violin and his white leather mask. And the memory of his kiss on my lips. I looked down at his mask. The blinding light of the room had faded and now only dim candlelight occupied the space. I felt the interior of the mask and noticed it was wet, wet with tears. I fell backward on the bed, sobbing and noticed it was covered in some other texture beside the sheets. Roses. The entire bed was covered with roses, petals and full blooms. I breathed them in deeply. A rose had brought me to Erik, and roses would have me remember him. Always.

            "Goodbye Erik, my angel."

            The End

A/N: I leave this ending to you, my readers and reviewers to your own interpretation. Think of it as you will, happy ending, sad angsty, confusing. The reason I wrote it this way was I thinking about the original ending and it was really a let down, really angst but anti-climatic. And my reviewers, I didn't want to disappoint you with having Belle finally reach the opera house too late to save Erik or even see him before he died. And I couldn't be so blasphemous to have Erik turn into a handsome prince. So I revamped it and decided it on this ending.

Hope you all enjoyed the story. Sorry for the long time between updates, especially for this chapter, but the last chapter is usually the longest.

I like to thank my reviewers and readers, all of you. I'm not and author as to be so rude as to demand people to review my story or I won't write anymore chapter. But you reviewed the chapters and there where no flames in about the story (huzzah it's a miracle) You all are so thoughtful and nice and you kept me going, especially the ones that went "Start writing the next chapter, don't just sit there go write." I enjoyed you enthusiasm.

So Thank you too

Tranquill, April, escawing, Siyeran, RubyMoon2, draegon-fire, Night Music, Cyranthe2nd, Chantal, jo, Katie, Black Phoenix, A Watcher, Christine2004/Arianna, Danica Enjolras, Erikstrulove, Phantom's Requiem, J.B., Katie, MetalMeyersJason, Dolphin Animaqus, Ayesha Rose