A/N: Sorry about taking so long to update, everyone! But I've been doing a lot of other junk lately. I also haven't been in a 'comedy mood' either, which didn't help much. I've also been thinking about doing a serious story…and it should be posted a soon as soon as I stop being lazy…or when they invent things that write stuff down for you so you don't have to move…which ever comes first. But I made up for it (I think) since this chapter is about twice as long as normal. Anyways, back to our story with our…er…'hosts':
El Diablo: "Gyah!! The pain!!"
El Hustino: "What'd you do now?"
El Diablo: "This time my pain isn't intentional!"
El Hustino: "Lalalalala…"
El Diablo: *slaps El Hustino* Don't get distracted!"
EL Hustino: (with red palm print on face) "Okie dokey pokie!" ^_^
El Diablo: "Right…now back to my pain. It's all these cameos! I'm getting confused putting them all in!"
El Hustino: "That is why, sadly, some people will not be able to cameo! Waahh" *runs away crying*
El Diablo: "Er…yeah."
El Hustino: *returns from the opposite direction wearing a different outfit and eating a sandwich* "Anyways, sorry to those people that I promised to put into this story but won't be in here…these cameos are starting to tax even my storehouse of insanity. And quite frankly, it gives me head boo-boos. Sorry people-who-won't-be-in-here."
El Diablo: "I am sorry, too."
El Hustino: O.O "Whoa, El Diablo apologized for once! And it wasn't sarcastic! Here comes the Apocalypse."
El Diablo: "You know what? That is getting really cliché! You can't have…oh, wait you were being serious. Yup, here comes the wall of fire…"
El Hustino: "And there's the four horsemen of the Apocalypse…"
El Diablo: "…" *they both start running away from the Hellfire and the four horsemen* "Well, this really bites!"
El Hustino: "I want my plushies!" *starts crying*
El Diablo: "We've got to stop them!"
El Hustino: "Wha…you want to stop the Apocalypse? This should feel like your birthday! Or…something…" *hugs conveniently placed plushie*
El Diablo: "That is only because I want to be the one to rain death and destruction upon the earth…or at least San Francisco. And put that plushie down! You are a sixteen year-old guy!" *swipes at plushie*
El Hustino: *hugs plushie closer* "I don't care!!"
El Diablo: "Pansy…"
El Hustino: "Well, we better cut to the story…we're going to be busy averting Armageddon, so have fun reading!" ^_^
El Diablo: "My foot is on fire!"
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Trigun Sleepover
!retpahC rehtonA
Our story now brings us to a once peaceful stretch of country road on Gunsmoke. I said 'once' peaceful, since there happens to be some dumbass driving a van down it like a psychopath…
~Inside the Van~
Everyone was cowering in fear in the back of the van. Blu was still latched onto Sano, T9 was attached to Legato and was, at the same time, glaring angrily at everyone in the van. Wolfwood, who had a sprained wrist from the recent crash couldn't drive so he was sitting in back, praying to God every three or four seconds.
Crim was sitting in back with the others, trying to figure out how the Hell he got into this mess. Tsukasa had been the one to invite him…Crim made a mental note to kill the boy ten or twelve times.
Of course, that was only if he managed to survive the ride to Dunkin Donuts.
"Why is he driving?!" Legato yelled, "We should have called a taxi like I said to!"
"Stop being such a baby, Leggy!" T9 said and slapped him once to get him to straighten out and then slapped him again...for no reason in particular.
"It's because T9 and I," Blu said, answering Legato's question, "Are a little busy," she gestured to each of the sadistic fangirls and their Bishounen, "not to mention too young. Wolfwood doesn't seem very capable at the moment," She pointed at the priest who, after praying to a few deities other than God, had curled up into the fetal position and was rocking back and forth.
"And you and Sano," T9 spoke to Legato, "Are…let's say… 'preoccupied'."
"What about Crim?!? All he has to do is grab the steering wheel from that crazy…" Legato was trying to protest.
"Nope," Blu said, "It's not well known, but Crim happens to have an unusual fear of round objects."
"What!?" Crim yelled, "You weren't supposed to tell anyone about that!" Crim pulled out a penguin plushie and began to whisper to it, "I knew they would tell everyone, Antoine…I can only trust you…" He huggled Antoine closely.
Legato raised his eyebrow, "And people say I have problems…"
"You do have problems! And don't you forget it!" T9 yelled.
"I still don't see why El Hustino has to be the one driving!!"
"Well, there isn't anyone else," Sano said.
"Where'd those other two girls go?"
"They fell into a plot hole."
"That sucks…" Legato said. He paused, after a glare from his wife. "…for them."
El Hustino and Zazie the Beast had taken over the tasks of driving and navigation. Zazie had his head out the window with a map, trying to figure out where they were, but it wasn't going to well since he had it upside down…and the fact that it was a map of Toronto didn't help matters much either. El Hustino, much to the dismay of the occupants in the van and any nearby pedestrians, was the one driving. "Weee!!" He giggled. "Hey, Zaz, are we there yet?"
"I don't know…you're the one doing the driving…" Zazie said.
Legato, with T9 around his neck, jumped in between the two boys, pointing at the road, "AHH!! Watch out!! There are tomases in the road!"
"Oh, huh, wha…" El Hustino, completely disconnected from reality, said. "Oh, I see 'em!" He managed to swerve around the large kiwi-like animal thingies at the last moment. Crim leaned out the window and flipped the animals off.
Sano yelled from the back, "Hey, you do have your license, right, Hustino?"
"He better or I'm going to make Legato beat him up!" T9 yelled. "AND THEN I'LL GET A WACK AT 'EM!"
"Er…I don't think I should-" Legato began to protest.
"When did I say you could think?" T9 asked, "Never. That's what I thought."
"Oh, come on…" Blu was saying, "I really doubt El Hustino would even think about driving this without a license. Even I give him more credit than that!" The kitsune purred as she held Sano closer.
"Actually," El Hustino was saying, "I don't. Didn't pass the driving test."
Blu threw Sano angrily to the ground and Legato had to hold T9 down to prevent her from disemboweling the author, or something like that. Crim yelled, "What!? Why'd you fail?!"
"Eh, I don't know," El Hustino swerved around another pedestrian, "Something about hitting a nun, or whatever."
"We're all dead, aren't we?" Crim, who didn't even want to be a part of this in the first place asked. Everyone else nodded.
"Watch out for the cow!!" Zazie yelled.
~Back at the Gung-Ho Guns's Home Thingy…Specifically, the Living Room~
Inu Yasha, Kenshin, Hiei and Rai Dei were sitting in the living room, each brandishing their swords. Let's listen in on what they have to say, shall we?
…………
Uh…okay, let's try again…
"My sword is easily the best," Rai Dei was saying, "It's got a gun."
"Wimp," Inu Yasha said, "If you were a real man you wouldn't need a gun. Besides, my Tetsusaiga is huge!" Inu Yasha swung his huge sword wildly, taking out a few house plants and a chair.
"Eh," Kenshin said, "Size doesn't matter, it all depends on how you use it."
Rai Dei looked at him strangely, "Eh, we're still talking about our swords, right?"
"Oh swords?" Kenshin said, "I thought you said something else. Either way, mines better."
"Yeah right, that reverse blade crap thingy is…eh…crap!" Inu Yasha smiled at the great insult he had just created.
"The sword doesn't matter…" Kenshin said, "It's all about skill. Right, Hiei?"
Hiei was not able to answer the question since he was busy running around screaming "Choppy, choppy!" and severed the limbs off of a few of Leonof's puppets and poked Miroku in the butt with his weapon.
Miroku turned, and since he was a lot taller than Hiei, didn't notice the demon. However, he did notice that Meryl was near him and he figured that she was the one that touched his…erm…'underside'. He screamed "Bear my children!" And he glomped the unsuspecting insurance girl.
Hiei was still running around chopping things. "Hiei!" Kurama yelled, "Sit!" Hiei came up to the other demon and sat in front of him. "Good Hiei," Kurama cooed and patted the smaller demon on the head. He gave Hiei a small cookie. Hiei, on all fours, ran over to a lamp, climbed it, and began eating the cookie like a hyper squirrel, with little crumbs spraying everywhere.
"Well," Inu Yasha said, "That's the most degrading thing I've seen since I watched a reality T.V. show marathon with Shippo."
"I am not stooping to that level…even if it means losing out on world domination!" El Diablo yelled over his shoulder at someone as he entered the living room. He pulled objects out of his pockets and threw them angrily and randomly throughout the room, hitting Meryl (who had just managed to get away from Miroku) in the face with a fish, Hoppard with a shoe, and hitting Milly, ironically, with a container of pudding, which she instantly consumed…plastic container and all.
"Oh, come on!" Soul-Mage said as she entered the room, "The other guys don't see any problems with my plan!"
"That's because they are fictional two-dimensional cartoon-"
"Anime."
"-anime characters. And really ignorant ones at that."
"That may be so, El Diablo, but you all chose me to come up with a plot for world domination!"
"And remind me WHY we did that, again?" El Diablo said.
"Because I gave you guys five dollars," Soul-Mage casually replied.
"Oh…yeah…But I'm not going to willingly humiliate myself in front of thousands of potential victims just for world domination!"
In through the doorway, Knives, Sesshoumaru, and Aoshi, wearing preppy clothing, slid in doing assorted dance moves and ended with some sort of spinny clappy thing that made everyone in the immediate area question the three villains' sexuality.
El Diablo slapped Aoshi. "You two should be ashamed of yourselves!" He said to Sesshoumaru and Knives as Aoshi lay on the ground with a split lip, "Do you really want to become a boy-band just for world domination?!"
"Yeah, well…" Knives began to protest, "With the brainwashing powers of a boy band, we could easily bring the universe to our knees!"
"It will work," the Sesshoumaru said, "Cuz our master plotter said so!"
"Master plotter?" Soul-Mage asked.
"Yeah, you said you were good at plotting things…"
"Did I say that? I meant that I was bored and wanted to screw around with your heads," Soul-Mage smiled. She alone had managed to humiliate several of the greatest villains ever by making them create a boy band.
"So you made us sign a ten-year contract with a record studio just for your own amusement?!" Knives screamed.
"Yeah, pretty much," Soul-Mage smiled more. The angry villains (except for El Diablo, who was still laughing at how stupid they were for signing that contract and Aoshi who was off doing…uh…Aoshi-type stuff. This only leaves Sesshoumaru and Knives) walked at Soul-Mage threateningly. She pulled out a small whistle and blew into it.
"What the Hell was that supposed to do?" Knives said.
"It's a fangirl whistle."
"Ah, crap…" the two villains said. Out of nowhere…well, the front door, came two young girls. Both looked, to put it lightly, mentally unstable.
One had shoulder-length brown hair with black streaks. She was also about thirteen years old. She wore a black shirt, a black half t-shirt and a waist-length black jacket…that's a lot of black. Her name was Keket. How did I know that? I'm the narrator. That type of power comes with the job.
wearing baggy jeans with a blue hulter top on with a jean jacket on. I have Baby blue eyes Brown hair with blond streaks and that would be it.
The other girl (let's call her 'Star' for simplicity's sake) brown hair with blonde streaks; she wore baggy jeans, a blue top and a jean jacket. Her eyes were blue and she was about twelve years old. Keket lunged at Sesshoumaru, glomping the demon lord to the ground and Star did the same to Knives.
El Diablo watched the carnage in amusement. "Hey, that fangirl whistle is pretty useful…how about-"
"You can't have it," Soul-Mage interrupted.
"Hey," Star said as she stood up with demon Bishounen in tow, "Where's Legato?"
"Legato sucks!" Keket said, "I don't understand how you can be a Legato fangirl. He's insane!" She squeezed Sesshoumaru tightly.
"Oh, he's been gone for a while…so has Vash…I wonder where that dumbass is," Meryl said and hundreds of Vash fangirls/Meryl haters came out of nowhere and mauled her.
"What?" Star said. "I want to see Leggy!" Everyone in the room looked at her oddly.
"Let's go find them…" Keket said, "I would like to set Legato on fire, or something."
"Yay!!" Star said. She, along with Keket (and through the use of a long sequence of unusual events and a plot device or two) dragged Kurama and Inu Yasha along with them. They also looked for Vash, but, just as the newly mauled Meryl said, he no where to be found.
The only evil guy left completely alone was El Diablo. "What the Hell?! What am I?! Chopped liver?! I-"
Hiei came running by, "Choppy, choppy!" and he sliced Dominique's hat in two.
"Wonderful, Hiei! Interrupt my tearful depressing villain monologue, why don't ya!!" El Diablo grabbed the hyper little demon swordsman by the back of his shirt and held him up, "Let's go! I'm tired of these fangirls and their Bishounen…I will create a new evil group bent on the destruction of Bishounen! Hahaha!"
"Choppy, chop, slice, chop!" Hiei said as he dangled from the crazed teenager's grip. He slashed his sword randomly, hitting a potted plant and cutting off a large portion of Meryl's hair.
This isn't one of Meryl's better days, is it?
"You're right, Hiei! We need a few more members!" He looked around for the most evil people and chose Soul-Mage. He then looked for another evil person…then he decided to just pick the most psychotic and chose Haruko, who he dragged outside along with the others. She didn't want to go at first, but El Diablo bribed her with a shiny piece of tinfoil.
El Diablo swore that he would soon destroy all the Bishounen.
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El Hustino: *puts out a small fire* "Oh oh!! Look at that!! There might be actual conflict in this story that has some sort of point to it!! Anyways, I didn't this chapter was too good…long, but not good. I hope the cameoers are appreciating the cameos, since it's getting hard thinking of junk for them to do and stuff…"
*a sound similar to a small boy waking up on Christmas morning is heard in the background*
El Diablo: *comes in from the direction of giggling with a big smile on his face. He is covered with armor and has two flaming long swords waving in the air* "Sweet!! The armor of the four horsemen of the apocalypse!! I can do some real damage with this!
*he then (using the Apocalyptic powers of his new weaponry) creates a plague of rabid beavers and releases it upon the nearby town and then skips away while raining death upon the land while humming 'row, row, row your boat'*
El Hustino: O.o "Okaayy…sorry folks, but it appears that I must go avert the Apocalypse…again…for the second time today…which means that there will be no reviewer responses." *chases after El Diablo*
A/N: Sorry about no reviewer responses, but…they weren't that great anyways. Another thing…the story will be put on hold because I'm getting bored with it, so don't expect an update anytime soon…if I ever update again. I'll probably go work on my more serious story or start a different humor fic. Sorry to everyone that I promised could be in here, but never got around to putting in.