Okay so it's been a while! Sorry I haven't updated this fic for a while, I started a new one called Redemption and I was writing that a lot, then I wanted to finish The Last Battle so it's been ages since I last updated this fic. But hopefully I will now be doing it regularly.

Thanks to those who reviewed the last chapter:

Sellser

Kyra2

Charmedfanatic3000

FunkyWitchOnFire

Brigurl

Msworld

Imp17

Becks89 – see I have updated this, so you update TYE

Manticore-gurl071134

Kick a** warrior woman

Lady Katia – yeah sorry, when I get my ideas, I type really fast and hence the typos. I'll try to check this chapter!

Chapter 22

The next day Hermione and Ron found Buffy in the library leafing through some books.

"Doing some homework?" Hermione asked, sitting down. Buffy smiled at her.
 "Don't get the stuff," Buffy said cheerfully. "No I'm just doing some…..research."
 "Anything we can help with?" Ron volunteered, also sitting down. Buffy regarded them, she knew that Ron and Hermione knew about Angel being a vampire and that she had killed him but they didn't really know of the circumstances that had brought Buffy to Hogwarts. Buffy decided she could trust them. Buffy checked around to see that they were alone and then beckoned Hermione and Ron closer to her.
 "Okay, I'm gonna level with you," Buffy said, closing her book. "You know that Angel is a vampire with a soul and that last year he lost it and I had to kill him right? Well it's a little more complicated than that. Angel used to be the worst vampire you can imagine. He was inhuman, he did things to people that I can't even describe. And he did things to me, things that were more hurtful than anything I've ever experienced, even dying. But with a soul, Angel is the man I love. I was so deep into him, I am so deep into him that I can't picture myself being happy with anyone else."
 "I don't understand what have you got to 'level' with us about?" Hermione said frowning.
 "Well, the reason Angel got his soul in the first place was because of a gypsy curse," Buffy explained. "He killed the most beloved daughter of a tribe and as revenge they placed a curse on him. He was cursed with a soul, to feel the remorse and guilt of his actions for the rest of forever. But they put a condition on it, if Angel ever experienced one moment of pure happiness, then he would lose his soul." Hermione's eyes were wide. Buffy swallowed hard.
 "And so on the night of my seventeenth birthday, there was this whole thing with a demon known as the Judge," Buffy said. "It was a bad time and that night Angel and I…well we slept together. That was the moment's happiness he needed and he lost his soul. After that, it was like I didn't even know him, he was so changed. And he tried to end the world, to use a demon called the Acathla to suck the world into hell. I tried to stop him but it was too late, he'd already started the ritual, and the only way to end it was to kill him. We fought and just as I was about to do it, his soul returned. Willow had found the curse, and returned it to his body. I told him I loved him and then I killed him to save the world." Both Hermione's and Buffy's eyes were glassy with tears and Hermione reached for Buffy's hand which she squeezed comfortingly. Ron just sat staring at Buffy in shock.

"Dumbledore said you'd been through a lot," Hermione whispered, shell-shocked. "But I had no idea." Buffy gave a half-smile.
 "So what have the books got to do with it?" Ron said, finding his tongue and gesturing to the books.

 "I was just looking really," Buffy said with a shrug. "I mean the curse still exists, Angel still could lose his soul. And although we can stay apart, it's still really dangerous."
 "Then we can help you," Hermione said, pulling some of the books towards her and Ron did the same. "Looking for any spells that might give Angel a more permanent soul." Buffy grinned at them.
 "Thanks guys," she said.

****

A few hours later, their search had been fruitless.

 "Don't give up hope," Hermione said determinedly. "We've got a whole library of books; there must be something on magic to do with tying souls." Buffy gave her a weak smile.

The three of them walked down to the lunch hall where they sat down with Harry at the Gryffindor table.

 "How was training?" Hermione asked, referring to Harry's session of Occlumency with Dumbledore. Harry shrugged.

 "What's up?" he asked a few moments later, seeing their less than happy faces. Ron and Hermione both looked at Buffy.

 "I filled them in on the Angel situation," Buffy said with a sigh. "The whole deal, everything that happened before I came here." Harry swallowed his mouthful quickly.
 "Are you okay?" he asked concernedly. And Buffy nodded, throwing him a grateful smile.
 "Which reminds me," she said, finishing her food and getting up. "I'm gonna go see Angel. See you at Potions." She walked off down the aisle.

Harry looked at Hermione and Ron.
 "I can't believe what she's been through," Hermione said, shaking her head. "No wonder Dumbledore didn't want us to question her."
 "If that's what it takes to be a slayer," Ron said sadly. "Then I'm glad I'm a bloke."

 "I think that's just what it takes to be Buffy," Harry said desolately. "She had to kill Angel when he was everything to her, just to save the world. A world where her mother had thrown her out and where she had been expelled from school. She's incredibly strong to be able to that."
 "The ultimate sacrifice," Hermione said and they all fell silent with their thoughts.

****

"Hi," Buffy said pushing open the door to Angel's dungeon where she found him sitting on the floor, reading a book.
 "Hey," he said, looking up at her. Buffy shuffled over and sat next to him on the floor.
 "You okay?" she asked quietly and he nodded.
 "Are we okay?" he asked. "I mean yesterday was kind of intense…" He trailed off and looked at the floor.

 "We're okay," Buffy confirmed with a tired smile. "I'm looking into it, the whole permanent soul deal. Maybe I'll find a spell that will work things out for us." Angel looked slightly happier. Buffy snuggled under his arm and leaned against his chest.
 "We'll be okay, even if I can't find something, right?" Buffy asked, suddenly anxious. "Because I can't lose you again, I really can't. It almost broke me the first time." Angel kissed the top of her head.
 "I'm not gonna leave you again," he said. "Not while I can help it."
 "Good," Buffy said. "Wanna see what I can do?" She pulled out her wand and demonstrated the few spells she had learnt, including turning a needle into a match and vice versa. Angel was suitably impressed.

 "It's not much," Buffy admitted. "But one day I might be able to do proper stuff like Harry and the others do."

 "Nice," Angel said absently. "Do we need to patrol tonight?" Buffy shrugged.
 "We probably should," she decided. "I'll be back later."

******

Short, but I'm just collecting my thoughts on where I'm going with this. Anyone who has any amazing, mind blowing ideas, mail them to me!