Owl To Draco Malfoy From Harry Potter
Hogwarts Castle, North of England
3 September, 1997
Dear Draco,
I'm back at Hogwarts, but I suppose you knew that. It's freezing cold here already. I can see my breath in the dungeons, which makes Advanced Potions even more enjoyable than it already was. How did you stand it down there for all those years?
How are you doing there? Are you on the Quidditch team? Are they good?
Quidditch is horrid this year, everyone I'm used to playing with is gone, nearly. Ginny makes a wonderful Chaser, and Ron is improving.
Dumbledore had this rather poncey bloke in from the Ministry the other day to "assess the castle defences" or some such rot. Anyway, I had to show him the greenhouses and the forest boundaries and he kept complaining about having to walk about in the mud and get his shoes dirty. It reminded me of you.
Oh, by the way, Hermione says to tell you that you are a nasty little toerag and that you had better be glad Ron wasn't the one to find us together. Also she can't imagine why I'd be writing to a pillock like you. I told her to shut it. I think she's in shock.
I just offended my best friend of six years for you, you know.
Yours,
Harry
P.S. I miss you. It stands to reason that the minute you aren't annoying anymore you also aren't here anymore.
Owl To Harry Potter From Draco Malfoy
Durmstrang Castle
6 September, 1997
Dear Harry,
Of course you miss me. I am sure that the Castle is entirely devoid of sunshine without my presence. I hear that Crabbe and Goyle barely have the wherewithal to trip a first year without my leadership.
You actually let Weasley play Quidditch again? Good heavens, Harry. You should have told me sooner. I'll have Millicent and Pansy start right in on that giant Gryffindor Losers banner for you.
Quidditch practise starts here this Saturday, but of course I've already been assured a place on the team. I'm famous here, as it would seem they follow Quidditch from other schools rather avidly. Of course no one's heard of you.
I think Granger's warming up to me. But you may tell her in return that the thought of being "caught" with you by Weasley is rather unthreatening. Weasley is as intimidating as shrubbery. Besides, we weren't doing anything that was terribly inappropriate, now were we?
I am quite flattered by the fact that you defended my honour. I'm beginning to think you like me, you know.
Yours,
Draco
P.S. Are you wearing it?
Owl To Draco Malfoy From Harry Potter
Hogwarts Castle, North of England
9 September, 1997
Dear Draco,
The castle is devoid of something without your presence. I'm not sure I'd call it sunshine.
Pansy Parkinson was complaining at the top of her lungs the other day that you'd promised to escort her to her "debut", whatever that is, and that now you were off in the wilderness she'd have to go alone. Do you have a fondness for lap dogs that you forgot to tell me about?
Congratulations on your worldwide fame. Don't forget, I've pictures of you sprawled on your arse scowling from that game second year, in case you want to hand out autographed photos. Your fans would enjoy them.
I shudder to think what you'd consider inappropriate, so I'm going to ignore your question altogether. I can hardly blame Ginny for being surprised, but I do wish she hadn't told Hermione. I can barely do with the looks the two of them give me every time I get an owl.
You hardly helped matters, though, you didn't have to be QUITE so rude to Ginny. Although I do admire your aplomb in the situation.
The look on Ginny's face was rather priceless.
I believe you're rubbing off on me.
Are your classes hard? Snape is killing us, I have ten chapters and a three foot essay due tomorrow, not to mention a practical exam which I'm sure to mess up. And McGonagall is no better.
Yours,
Harry
P.S. Yes, I'm wearing it. I'm beginning to think I like you too.
Owl To Hermione Granger From Ginny Weasley
Hogwarts Castle, North of England
10 September, 1997
Dear Hermione,
I'm owling instead of talking to you in person because I haven't been able to get rid of Ron long enough to talk to you about this privately. He even followed me to the library the other day, and you know as well as I that Ron never sets foot in the library unless he's made to. I told him I was looking for you and he insisted on tagging along. I love my brother dearly but sometimes he just doesn't get it.
I'm desperately worried about Harry, and about what we've done. I think it's time we told someone what we think is going on. Well, what I KNOW is going on.
Walking in on Harry and Malfoy like that, oh, God, I'm still in shock. I thought they were becoming friends, but it seems obvious that they're becoming more. I feel like this is all because of us, if only we hadn't switched those trunks... well, we have to tell Professor Lupin. I'm afraid to tell Professor Dumbledore, and Mum will have kittens, that's all.
Do you think we can find time to be alone together? To talk about this?
To talk about anything at all?
Love,
Ginny
Note Passed From Hermione Granger to Ginny Weasley
Well, no one can say you aren't dramatic. Ron rather NOTICED the great flapping owl at breakfast, you know, and he recognized your handwriting, for all I tried to tell him it was from Tonks. I had to go in the loo to read it. I swear he almost followed me in here too.
Meet me in the common room tonight at eleven and we'll try to find somewhere to talk privately. I'd borrow Harry's invisibility cloak, but you know how that would go.
We're really going to have to tell your brother, you know. He's bound to figure it out some time in the next few years.
I can't wait to see you.
Love,
Hermione
Owl From Draco Malfoy To Harry Potter
Durmstrang Castle
14 September, 1997
Dear Harry,
You've had a picture of me since second year? Do you have it taped over your bed, or do you sleep with it under your pillow? How gratifying to know that the Famous Harry Potter is one of my many longstanding fans.
Classes here are so much better than the drivel I was exposed to at Hogwarts. I'm learning things that are actually of practical value.
Oh, speaking of Professor Snape, I've a bet on with Millicent Bulstrode that you get signed up for remedial potions again within a month of term starting. Be sure to let me know if you do, so I can collect.
Fine, then, I have a confession. I have an uncontrollable attraction to girls who look and sound like yapping pugs. I just can't seem to help myself. You've caught me. How oh how will I ever live this down?
Actually, I do have a bit of a real confession to make.
Everyone here is terribly pretentious and snobby and rich, concerned only with themselves, very intelligent, and full of cleverly witty insults. In other words, just like me. I feel quite at home with them.
But there's another sort missing. We don't have any of the brave, the foolish, the members of the do-gooders brigade. The kind that help each other and are kind to the elderly and small animals. The kind that have lovely though rather myopic green eyes and a horrifying lack of grooming. I rather miss that sort, you know.
Yours,
Draco
Scribbled in the margin of Harry's Transfiguration text
Dra
Mal
Stop it Harry McGonagall's watching!!!
Shut up Hermione like you don't have Ginny's name all over yours!!
When did never mind that you shouldn't be writing his name!!
Hermione loves Ginny loves Hermione loves
Don't make me transfigure your quill into a toad!!
Leave me alone then I can write whatever I like. MALFOY!!
Do you have to look at me like that just because I wrote his name?
Hermione?
Owl From Hermione Granger And Ginny Weasley To Nymphadora Tonks
15 September, 1997
Hogwarts Castle, North of England
Dear Tonks,
We told Harry everything. About how we switched the trunks, and why. He was livid, but I think he's calmed down now.
Then he got the strangest look on his face, and he thanked us. Then he wandered off.
Do you think we should tell Professor Lupin? Professor Dumbledore?
Please, write back and give us some advice.
Regards,
Ginny and Hermione
Owl To Draco Malfoy From Harry Potter
Hogwarts Castle, North of England
18 September, 1997
Dear Overly Inflated Ego That Looks Like Draco,
YOU MISS ME.
I just thought I'd point that out. Make sure that you were aware of it, and so on.
I will have you know that I am not failing Advanced Potions, as much as Snape would hate to admit it. And he can't even say I'm cheating, he made Hermione sit clear across the room and put that Zabini git next to me, and he's always trying to copy off my parchments and inching closer so he can see. Zabini, that is, not Snape.
So, you'd better be owling Millicent Bulstrode those Galleons you owe her. I'll be sure to tell her they're on their way.
It sounds as though everyone at Durmstrang is an exact copy of you. I suppose it's a good thing you're aren't attracted to yourself. I mean, well, you're not, are you? Attracted to people like you?
I can as good as hear you laughing at me now. Stop it. You know what I meant.
Dumbledore announced that we were having this stupid masked ball thing for Halloween. Ron keeps asking who I'm taking, he's driving me nuts. I don't think I'll be going. Are you having anything like that at Durmstrang?
Just to reiterate. YOU MISS ME.
Your biggest fan,
Harry
Note Passed From Ron Weasley To Harry Potter
What did you get for question 13? I don't bloody understand fire divination.
I think the answer's candle. Not sure. I fell asleep when she was going on about it.
Thanks mate, I'll give it a go anyway. So, did you decide who you're taking to the ball? Parvati's driving me bonkers about that Turpin girl, she's dying for you to ask her. Do you fancy her?
No I don't think I'll be going, thanks anyway.
Is there someone else you want to ask?
No!!!
Hah!! I knew it!! Who is she? Is she in our year? Have you asked her yet?
No!! I mean it, there's no girl I want to ask. I'm just not going.
It's not Hermione is it? Only she says she's not going either. Looks suspicious, I think.
It's not anyone Ron now leave me alone!!!
Ok then. Fine. Don't tell me. Forget I asked.
You're not still pining for Cho are you?
Damn it Ron, no, it's not anyone, there's not a single person at Hogwarts I want to take to that ball or anywhere else. Now drop it.
It's Krum, isn't it?
Hahaha. Very funny.
I wasn't joking, Harry.
Owl From Draco Malfoy To Harry Potter
Dear Harry,
I miss you? Hadn't noticed. Thanks so much for pointing that out.
We're not having a ball of any sort, as the faculty frowns on revelry, unless it's a celebration, of sorts. And we've had nothing especially to celebrate lately. Not that I'd be inviting anyone here to a ball if we were to have one, as luckily for you I'm not attracted to good-looking, witty, rich people.
Do tell Zabini to stay on the Slytherin side of the room, as I feel sure that wherever it's located is at least ten feet from you. No need to crowd your personal space. Perhaps I'll write him and tell him myself. Oh, and if you need a date for that ball or any other future outings I feel sure that Millicent is free and will be happy to accompany you.
Our house colours here are burgandy and black, and I'm currently wearing a lovely burgandy jumper. How Gryffindor-esque. I've never had a reason to wear burgandy before, and I must say that I look quite as stunningly attractive in burgandy as I do in green and silver. And black. Shame you can't see me.
I was up until two a.m. this morning reading a Batman comic that I coerced from a third year with my beautifully elegant powers of persuasion. It was quite good. This is entirely your fault, you know.
Yours always,
Draco
P.S. Oh, what is this utter nonsense I hear about you making the highest mark ever on McGongall's Transliteration practical? I'm sure this must be some kind of mistake.