~~ACT THREE-SCENE ONE~~
*enter MUSH and RACETRACK and OTHER KELLYS*
RACETRACK: I am bored, and there are Jacobs around. We'll get into a fight if we stay here.
MUSH: You fight too much.
RACETRACK: You think?
MUSH: You're as moody as any newsie in Manhattan.
RACETRACK: So?
MUSH: So you're glum and dumb.
RACETRACK: You aren't brilliant yourself.
RACETRACK: Oh look! Here come some Jacobs!
MUSH: Oh look! I don't care!
*enter SKITTERY and OTHER JACOBS*
SKITTERY: *to OTHER JACOBS* I will talk to them. Watch me.
SKITTERY: *to MUSH and RACETRACK* May I have a word with one of you two bums for a moment?
MUSH: Are you sure you wouldn't like to make that a word and a fight with TWO bums?
SKITTERY: Careful, or I might just take you up on that.
MUSH: What, are you a coward?
SKITTERY: Mush, you talk to Jack often, right?
MUSH: Yes, why?
RACETRACK: Let's go someplace else to talk. It is too dangerous here.
MUSH: No, we can talk here.
*enter JACK*
SKITTERY: Here he comes now! Hey Jack, you're not only stupid, you're ugly too. And a villain. Let's fight.
JACK: I do not want to fight you, Skittery.
SKITTERY: But Kellys have always fought Jacobs.
JACK: I dunno. I guess Jacobs aren't as bad as they used to be. I actually like that name almost as much as my own.
RACETRACK: *draws knife* Traitor! Skittery, let's go somewhere else. And it will be a fight to the death. I will take one of your lives, King of Cats.
SKITTERY: *draws knife* No, I think you shall not!
JACK: Racetrack! Put away your knife!
*SKITTERY and RACETRACK fight*
JACK: Wait! We are forbidden to fight in the streets of Manhattan! Stop!
*SKITTERY stabs RACETRACK and flees*
JACK: Racetrack! Are you hurt?
RACETRACK: No, It is only a scratch. Someone call a doctor. Quickly.
JACK: Is it that bad?
RACETRACK: *feebly joking* It is not as deep as the Bay, and not as wide as the Lodging House door, but it will do. Mush, help me back to the Lodging House. I don't feel very well.
*exit RACETRACK and MUSH*
JACK: How dare Skittery hurt Racetrack? How dare he?
*enter MUSH*
MUSH: Jack! Racetrack is dead! He bled to death before we reached the Lodging House.
JACK: No!
MUSH: Look, here comes Skittery again. He looks angry.
JACK: Doesn't he always?
*enter SKITTERY*
JACK: Skittery's soul will keep Racetrack's company.
SKITTERY: Out of my way, wretch.
JACK: *draws knife* You shall pay for Racetrack's death!
*JACK and SKITTERY fight. SKITTERY falls*
MUSH: Jack! You killed Skittery! You must run; the bulls will catch you! Hide!
JACK: Why me?
MUSH: Why are you just standing there? Go!
*exit JACK*
*enter CITIZENS*
CITIZEN: Where is Skittery? The one who is responsible for Racetrack's death? Racetrack owed me money.
MUSH: Skittery lies there.
CITIZEN: Come with me. Snyder will want to talk with you, I'm sure. You are under citizen's arrest.
*enter SNYDER, MR AND MRS JACOBS, AND KLOPPMAN*
SNYDER: Who started this mess?
MUSH: Jack Kelly killed Skittery for killing his friend, Rcetrack.
MRS. JACOBS: Oh Skittery! My brother's son! And a Kelly killed him!
SNYDER: Boy, who started this?
MUSH: Skittery started the fight. Jack asked him not to, but he fought and killed Racetrack. Jack sought revenge and killed Skittery.
MRS. JACOBS: I want justice! Jack killed Skittery! Jack must die for this crime!
SNYDER: Jack killed Skittery, Skittery killed Racetrack. Who is at fault?
KLOPPMAN: The fault is with who started the fight: Skittery.
SNYDER: It is decided. Jack shall be exiled, not condemned to death. We will have mercy upon him if he leaves Manhattan within an hour.
*END SCENE*
~~ACT THREE-SCENE TWO~~
*enter DAVID*
DAVID: Where is Sarah? She should be back with news of my beloved Jack by now! Oh Sarah, hurry back! I haven't heard from Jack for one whole day! I don't think I can take it any longer!
*enter SARAH*
DAVID: Sarah! Did you get the cords Jack told you to get? How is Jack?
SARAH: Here are your stupid cords.
*SARAH throws cords at DAVID*
DAVID: What's wrong, Sarah?
SARAH: He's dead! He's been killed! He is dead, David, and we are ruined, This cannot be. I must sit down.
DAVID: What? It cannot be!
SARAH: Who would have thought! Jack! No!
DAVID: Oh Jack! What happened? Did Jack kill himself? Tell me what happened, Sarah!
*DAVID sinks to the ground*
SARAH: *in shock* I saw him. . . Blood all over. . . So pale. . . It was horrible!
DAVID: My heart shall never mend! I shall die without my Jack!
SARAH: Oh poor Skittery!
DAVID: What? I have lost both my husband and my cousin? In one night? This cannot be true!
SARAH: No, brother! Jack killed Skittery, and he has been exiled!
*DAVID slowly stands*
*DAVID grabs SARAH by her throat*
DAVID: Why *shake* Didn't *shake* You *shake* Say *shake* This *shake* Before? *shake shake shake*
SARAH: Ack! David!
*DAVID releases SARAH*
DAVID: Sorry. . .
SARAH: Sheesh. What a shame Jack is! He was a terrible influence on you!
DAVID: Jack is not shameful! He may be an honorable villan, at the very least. And a very handsome one at that!
SARAH: But he killed Skittery!
DAVID: Yes, but he is my husband! We've already been married for three hours and forty-seven minutes and fifty-six seconds. That demands loyalty, you know! By the way, where's mom and dad?
SARAH: They are at Skittery's funeral. They are most upset.
DAVID: Let them go. I think I will go to bed and die, now. Jack didn't even wait until our wedding night to get exiled! Now that's cruel!
SARAH: You're pathetic. . . and gross. Very well. I'll find Jack for you. Just stay alive until I get back.
*SARAH exits, rubbing neck*
DAVID: Tell Jack I have a very special goodbye present for him!
*SARAH gags*
*END SCENE*
~~ACT THREE-SCENE THREE~~
JACK: So, Denton, am I dead yet?
DENTON: Actually, no. You are only exiled. Consider yourself lucky.
JACK: No! Can't I try again for a death sentence?
DENTON: There are plenty of other places besides New York, you know.
JACK: Are not.
DENTON: Are too.
JACK: There is not place without David. The beauty of all places dulls when not lighted by him. He is my life, and I could never leave him. Exile is worse than death!
DENTON: You're crazy. Now let me speak.
JACK: No! You'll only tell me exile is okay!
DENTON: Correct. It isn't the end of your life, you know.
JACK: Oh yes it is without David!
DENTON: It seems crazy people have no ears.
JACK: It seems stupid reporters have no eyes.
DENTON: Good one.
JACK: Thanks.
*there is a knock on the door*
DENTON: Jack! Run and hide in the closet!
*JACK collapses to the floor and weeps*
DENTON: Pathetic. . .
*DENTON opens the door and SARAH enters*
SARAH: Where's Jack?
DENTON: See that wet lump on the floor making wimpering noises?
SARAH: Yes?
DENTON: That's Jack.
SARAH: Really? I have an identical lump back at my house making the same noises! We could make them a matched pair!
*JACK crawls over to SARAH*
JACK: Must. . . *whimper* have. . . David! *snuffle*
SARAH: What a wimp. . . No wonder they were attracted to each other. David only cries your name.
JACK: Does he hate me? I'd die if he hated me! *draws knife*
DENTON: Jack, be a man and stop blubbering! And do put away that sword!
SARAH: What good advice! Jack, David does not hate you. In fact, he wants you to come over so he can give you a good-bye "present". I think your perverted mind can figure out what it is.
*JACK drools*
*SARAH gags again and exits*
*JACK drools more and heads to DAVID'S house. Quickly.*
DENTON: They're disgusting. I don't even see why I am helping them become even worse.
*DENTON exits*
*end scene*
~~ACT THREE-SCENE FOUR~~
*enter MR AND MRS JACOBS and SPOT CONLON*
MR JACOBS: I am so glad you are agreeing to marry David. He has been quite distressed over his cousin Skittery's death and a good marriage is just the thing to cheer him up!
SPOT CONLON: Have you told him yet?
MRS JACOBS: I will mention it to him in the morning.
MR JACOBS: No, tell him tonight! He'll be so pleased! What day is today?
SPOT CONLON: Monday.
MR JACOBS: You will be married on Wednesday. No, Wednesday is too soon after Skittery's death. How about Thursday?
SPOT CONLON: It's good for me.
MR JACOBS: Thursday it is! Now Esther, why don't you go tell little David he's getting married to Spot Conlon?
MRS JACOBS: Yes dear.
*MRS JACOBS exits*
*END SCENE*
~~ACT THREE-SCENE FIVE~~
*enter JACK and DAVID*
DAVID: Are you leaving so soon?
JACK: Dear, I must be gone and live or stay and die.
DAVID: I think I'm pregnant.
JACK: . . .
DAVID: Just kidding.
JACK: Never do that to me again, David. If you ever do that again, I will divorce you. And I mean it.
DAVID: It is not yet day. You don't need to leave yet. Won't you say a little longer. . . For me?
JACK: Who cares about death? I'll die happy here.
DAVID: No, it is daylight. You need to go! Be gone!
JACK: I'll never understand men. One moment they beg you to stay, and the next they tell you to go. Men are so confusing.
*enter SARAH*
SARAH: Hey, David?
DAVID: Yes?
SARAH: Mom is coming. I wouldn't be caught in here with Jack if I were you.
DAVID: Quick, Jack! Go out the window!
JACK: One more kiss.
*DAVID and JACK share one last steamy smooch, and JACK climbs out the window*
DAVID: Do you think we'll ever meet again?
JACK: Of course, David. True love is always together. Don't you read?
*JACK exits*
DAVID: Bye, lover-boy.
MRS JACOBS: David! Are you awake?
DAVID: Yes, mother. What is it?
MRS JACOBS: How are you, David?
DAVID: I don't feel very well.
MRS JACOBS: Are you still crying over Skittery?
DAVID: *under his breath* No, morning sickness.
MRS JACOBS: What was that?
DAVID: Yes, I am feeling much loss over him.
MRS JACOBS: But even more loss that the villain who slaughtered him is still alive and free?
DAVID: What villain?
MRS JACOBS: Why that awful Jack Kelly. I knew that Kellys were no good.
DAVID: He may be a villain, but I have forgiven him. But he still pains me.
MRS JACOBS: Because he's a traitorous murderer?
DAVID: If only I could get my hands on him!
MRS JACOBS: Don't worry, dear. Soon, your father and I will make sure that he joins Skittery and keeps him company.
DAVID: No, I want revenge. Find someone who can make me a poison.
MRS JACOBS: Of course dear. That will be very nice. But now I have a surprise for you!
DAVID: What?
MRS JACOBS: Your father arranged something for you.
DAVID: Tell me!
MRS JACOBS: You will be getting married on Thursday! To that nice young man, Spot Conlon! Won't that be nice?
DAVID: No, I cannot marry Spot! I will not marry anyone, and when I do marry, it will be the one I hate, Jack Kelly!
MRS JACOBS: Why don't you tell that to your father? Here he is now.
*enter MR JACOBS and SARAH*
MR JACOBS: Why are you still crying? Have you heard the good news yet, David?
MRS JACOBS: He has refused.
MR JACOBS: *turns light red* WHAT? We have found the finest man for him to marry, and still he refuses? How ungrateful!
DAVID: Thanks, but no thanks.
MR JACOBS: *turns light purple* How dare you! You stupid, ignorant-
MRS JACOBS: Now, Meyer, are you mad?
DAVID: Now, dad, if you'd just listen to what I said.
MR JACOBS: Why should I listen to you? Why can't you just do what we tell you, like your sister? Even the dog is better trained than you are!
SARAH: Dad, aren't you being a little harsh?
MR JACOBS: Hold your tongue, Sarah!
SARAH: Why can't we speak?
MR JACOBS: Go gossip with your friends. Go!
MRS JACOBS: This is bad for your blood pressure, you know.
MR JACOBS: We raise him, feed him, love him, and find him a perfect match. And what does he say? I won't! If you don't marry him, you can go out on the streets and starve! Hah! That would serve you right!
*exit MR JACOBS*
DAVID: Please, mother! If you don't stop this marriage, just make me a nice bed. Next to Skittery's.
*exit MRS JACOBS*
DAVID: Sarah, what can I do? This is awful!
SARAH: That Spot is pretty cute, and you must admit that you're in pretty deep trouble if you don't marry him.
DAVID: You think so?
SARAH: Yes.
DAVID: Sarah, you're amazing!
SARAH: Huh?
*DAVID rises*
DAVID: I just need to go down to Denton's and make sure he can write an article announcing the wedding.
SARAH: That was quick. I'll tell dad.
*SARAH exits*
DAVID: I know Denton can help me get to Jack! I know it!
*DAVID exits*
*END SCENE*
SHOUTOUTS: TO THELONEREED:
Aguachica: Great job on your quiz! When I took my Romeo and Juliet quiz, I had stayed up late the last night, and I wrote that it took place in the 19th century! I was so embarrassed! Almost as embarrassed as this week. I took a Catherwood quiz and said the book took place in the 15th century, when it really took place in the 1700s. I guess I'm just not good with dates.
TO SHIMMERWINGS:
Aguachica: Shimmerwings reviewed my fic. *blinkblink*
Blink!muse: Here she goes again. . .
Aguachica: Shimmerwings reviewed my fic. . . *blinkblink* *THUD*
Mush!muse: *carries off an unconscious Aguachica*
Blink!muse: She really likes your stories, Shimmerwings! She reads "The Best Part of Chicken Soup" at least once a week! She also loves "Sketches of Love" and "Winter Musings"! She loves all your fics! I'm sure she'll tell you how much she loves them as soon as she wakes up. . .
*enter MUSH and RACETRACK and OTHER KELLYS*
RACETRACK: I am bored, and there are Jacobs around. We'll get into a fight if we stay here.
MUSH: You fight too much.
RACETRACK: You think?
MUSH: You're as moody as any newsie in Manhattan.
RACETRACK: So?
MUSH: So you're glum and dumb.
RACETRACK: You aren't brilliant yourself.
RACETRACK: Oh look! Here come some Jacobs!
MUSH: Oh look! I don't care!
*enter SKITTERY and OTHER JACOBS*
SKITTERY: *to OTHER JACOBS* I will talk to them. Watch me.
SKITTERY: *to MUSH and RACETRACK* May I have a word with one of you two bums for a moment?
MUSH: Are you sure you wouldn't like to make that a word and a fight with TWO bums?
SKITTERY: Careful, or I might just take you up on that.
MUSH: What, are you a coward?
SKITTERY: Mush, you talk to Jack often, right?
MUSH: Yes, why?
RACETRACK: Let's go someplace else to talk. It is too dangerous here.
MUSH: No, we can talk here.
*enter JACK*
SKITTERY: Here he comes now! Hey Jack, you're not only stupid, you're ugly too. And a villain. Let's fight.
JACK: I do not want to fight you, Skittery.
SKITTERY: But Kellys have always fought Jacobs.
JACK: I dunno. I guess Jacobs aren't as bad as they used to be. I actually like that name almost as much as my own.
RACETRACK: *draws knife* Traitor! Skittery, let's go somewhere else. And it will be a fight to the death. I will take one of your lives, King of Cats.
SKITTERY: *draws knife* No, I think you shall not!
JACK: Racetrack! Put away your knife!
*SKITTERY and RACETRACK fight*
JACK: Wait! We are forbidden to fight in the streets of Manhattan! Stop!
*SKITTERY stabs RACETRACK and flees*
JACK: Racetrack! Are you hurt?
RACETRACK: No, It is only a scratch. Someone call a doctor. Quickly.
JACK: Is it that bad?
RACETRACK: *feebly joking* It is not as deep as the Bay, and not as wide as the Lodging House door, but it will do. Mush, help me back to the Lodging House. I don't feel very well.
*exit RACETRACK and MUSH*
JACK: How dare Skittery hurt Racetrack? How dare he?
*enter MUSH*
MUSH: Jack! Racetrack is dead! He bled to death before we reached the Lodging House.
JACK: No!
MUSH: Look, here comes Skittery again. He looks angry.
JACK: Doesn't he always?
*enter SKITTERY*
JACK: Skittery's soul will keep Racetrack's company.
SKITTERY: Out of my way, wretch.
JACK: *draws knife* You shall pay for Racetrack's death!
*JACK and SKITTERY fight. SKITTERY falls*
MUSH: Jack! You killed Skittery! You must run; the bulls will catch you! Hide!
JACK: Why me?
MUSH: Why are you just standing there? Go!
*exit JACK*
*enter CITIZENS*
CITIZEN: Where is Skittery? The one who is responsible for Racetrack's death? Racetrack owed me money.
MUSH: Skittery lies there.
CITIZEN: Come with me. Snyder will want to talk with you, I'm sure. You are under citizen's arrest.
*enter SNYDER, MR AND MRS JACOBS, AND KLOPPMAN*
SNYDER: Who started this mess?
MUSH: Jack Kelly killed Skittery for killing his friend, Rcetrack.
MRS. JACOBS: Oh Skittery! My brother's son! And a Kelly killed him!
SNYDER: Boy, who started this?
MUSH: Skittery started the fight. Jack asked him not to, but he fought and killed Racetrack. Jack sought revenge and killed Skittery.
MRS. JACOBS: I want justice! Jack killed Skittery! Jack must die for this crime!
SNYDER: Jack killed Skittery, Skittery killed Racetrack. Who is at fault?
KLOPPMAN: The fault is with who started the fight: Skittery.
SNYDER: It is decided. Jack shall be exiled, not condemned to death. We will have mercy upon him if he leaves Manhattan within an hour.
*END SCENE*
~~ACT THREE-SCENE TWO~~
*enter DAVID*
DAVID: Where is Sarah? She should be back with news of my beloved Jack by now! Oh Sarah, hurry back! I haven't heard from Jack for one whole day! I don't think I can take it any longer!
*enter SARAH*
DAVID: Sarah! Did you get the cords Jack told you to get? How is Jack?
SARAH: Here are your stupid cords.
*SARAH throws cords at DAVID*
DAVID: What's wrong, Sarah?
SARAH: He's dead! He's been killed! He is dead, David, and we are ruined, This cannot be. I must sit down.
DAVID: What? It cannot be!
SARAH: Who would have thought! Jack! No!
DAVID: Oh Jack! What happened? Did Jack kill himself? Tell me what happened, Sarah!
*DAVID sinks to the ground*
SARAH: *in shock* I saw him. . . Blood all over. . . So pale. . . It was horrible!
DAVID: My heart shall never mend! I shall die without my Jack!
SARAH: Oh poor Skittery!
DAVID: What? I have lost both my husband and my cousin? In one night? This cannot be true!
SARAH: No, brother! Jack killed Skittery, and he has been exiled!
*DAVID slowly stands*
*DAVID grabs SARAH by her throat*
DAVID: Why *shake* Didn't *shake* You *shake* Say *shake* This *shake* Before? *shake shake shake*
SARAH: Ack! David!
*DAVID releases SARAH*
DAVID: Sorry. . .
SARAH: Sheesh. What a shame Jack is! He was a terrible influence on you!
DAVID: Jack is not shameful! He may be an honorable villan, at the very least. And a very handsome one at that!
SARAH: But he killed Skittery!
DAVID: Yes, but he is my husband! We've already been married for three hours and forty-seven minutes and fifty-six seconds. That demands loyalty, you know! By the way, where's mom and dad?
SARAH: They are at Skittery's funeral. They are most upset.
DAVID: Let them go. I think I will go to bed and die, now. Jack didn't even wait until our wedding night to get exiled! Now that's cruel!
SARAH: You're pathetic. . . and gross. Very well. I'll find Jack for you. Just stay alive until I get back.
*SARAH exits, rubbing neck*
DAVID: Tell Jack I have a very special goodbye present for him!
*SARAH gags*
*END SCENE*
~~ACT THREE-SCENE THREE~~
JACK: So, Denton, am I dead yet?
DENTON: Actually, no. You are only exiled. Consider yourself lucky.
JACK: No! Can't I try again for a death sentence?
DENTON: There are plenty of other places besides New York, you know.
JACK: Are not.
DENTON: Are too.
JACK: There is not place without David. The beauty of all places dulls when not lighted by him. He is my life, and I could never leave him. Exile is worse than death!
DENTON: You're crazy. Now let me speak.
JACK: No! You'll only tell me exile is okay!
DENTON: Correct. It isn't the end of your life, you know.
JACK: Oh yes it is without David!
DENTON: It seems crazy people have no ears.
JACK: It seems stupid reporters have no eyes.
DENTON: Good one.
JACK: Thanks.
*there is a knock on the door*
DENTON: Jack! Run and hide in the closet!
*JACK collapses to the floor and weeps*
DENTON: Pathetic. . .
*DENTON opens the door and SARAH enters*
SARAH: Where's Jack?
DENTON: See that wet lump on the floor making wimpering noises?
SARAH: Yes?
DENTON: That's Jack.
SARAH: Really? I have an identical lump back at my house making the same noises! We could make them a matched pair!
*JACK crawls over to SARAH*
JACK: Must. . . *whimper* have. . . David! *snuffle*
SARAH: What a wimp. . . No wonder they were attracted to each other. David only cries your name.
JACK: Does he hate me? I'd die if he hated me! *draws knife*
DENTON: Jack, be a man and stop blubbering! And do put away that sword!
SARAH: What good advice! Jack, David does not hate you. In fact, he wants you to come over so he can give you a good-bye "present". I think your perverted mind can figure out what it is.
*JACK drools*
*SARAH gags again and exits*
*JACK drools more and heads to DAVID'S house. Quickly.*
DENTON: They're disgusting. I don't even see why I am helping them become even worse.
*DENTON exits*
*end scene*
~~ACT THREE-SCENE FOUR~~
*enter MR AND MRS JACOBS and SPOT CONLON*
MR JACOBS: I am so glad you are agreeing to marry David. He has been quite distressed over his cousin Skittery's death and a good marriage is just the thing to cheer him up!
SPOT CONLON: Have you told him yet?
MRS JACOBS: I will mention it to him in the morning.
MR JACOBS: No, tell him tonight! He'll be so pleased! What day is today?
SPOT CONLON: Monday.
MR JACOBS: You will be married on Wednesday. No, Wednesday is too soon after Skittery's death. How about Thursday?
SPOT CONLON: It's good for me.
MR JACOBS: Thursday it is! Now Esther, why don't you go tell little David he's getting married to Spot Conlon?
MRS JACOBS: Yes dear.
*MRS JACOBS exits*
*END SCENE*
~~ACT THREE-SCENE FIVE~~
*enter JACK and DAVID*
DAVID: Are you leaving so soon?
JACK: Dear, I must be gone and live or stay and die.
DAVID: I think I'm pregnant.
JACK: . . .
DAVID: Just kidding.
JACK: Never do that to me again, David. If you ever do that again, I will divorce you. And I mean it.
DAVID: It is not yet day. You don't need to leave yet. Won't you say a little longer. . . For me?
JACK: Who cares about death? I'll die happy here.
DAVID: No, it is daylight. You need to go! Be gone!
JACK: I'll never understand men. One moment they beg you to stay, and the next they tell you to go. Men are so confusing.
*enter SARAH*
SARAH: Hey, David?
DAVID: Yes?
SARAH: Mom is coming. I wouldn't be caught in here with Jack if I were you.
DAVID: Quick, Jack! Go out the window!
JACK: One more kiss.
*DAVID and JACK share one last steamy smooch, and JACK climbs out the window*
DAVID: Do you think we'll ever meet again?
JACK: Of course, David. True love is always together. Don't you read?
*JACK exits*
DAVID: Bye, lover-boy.
MRS JACOBS: David! Are you awake?
DAVID: Yes, mother. What is it?
MRS JACOBS: How are you, David?
DAVID: I don't feel very well.
MRS JACOBS: Are you still crying over Skittery?
DAVID: *under his breath* No, morning sickness.
MRS JACOBS: What was that?
DAVID: Yes, I am feeling much loss over him.
MRS JACOBS: But even more loss that the villain who slaughtered him is still alive and free?
DAVID: What villain?
MRS JACOBS: Why that awful Jack Kelly. I knew that Kellys were no good.
DAVID: He may be a villain, but I have forgiven him. But he still pains me.
MRS JACOBS: Because he's a traitorous murderer?
DAVID: If only I could get my hands on him!
MRS JACOBS: Don't worry, dear. Soon, your father and I will make sure that he joins Skittery and keeps him company.
DAVID: No, I want revenge. Find someone who can make me a poison.
MRS JACOBS: Of course dear. That will be very nice. But now I have a surprise for you!
DAVID: What?
MRS JACOBS: Your father arranged something for you.
DAVID: Tell me!
MRS JACOBS: You will be getting married on Thursday! To that nice young man, Spot Conlon! Won't that be nice?
DAVID: No, I cannot marry Spot! I will not marry anyone, and when I do marry, it will be the one I hate, Jack Kelly!
MRS JACOBS: Why don't you tell that to your father? Here he is now.
*enter MR JACOBS and SARAH*
MR JACOBS: Why are you still crying? Have you heard the good news yet, David?
MRS JACOBS: He has refused.
MR JACOBS: *turns light red* WHAT? We have found the finest man for him to marry, and still he refuses? How ungrateful!
DAVID: Thanks, but no thanks.
MR JACOBS: *turns light purple* How dare you! You stupid, ignorant-
MRS JACOBS: Now, Meyer, are you mad?
DAVID: Now, dad, if you'd just listen to what I said.
MR JACOBS: Why should I listen to you? Why can't you just do what we tell you, like your sister? Even the dog is better trained than you are!
SARAH: Dad, aren't you being a little harsh?
MR JACOBS: Hold your tongue, Sarah!
SARAH: Why can't we speak?
MR JACOBS: Go gossip with your friends. Go!
MRS JACOBS: This is bad for your blood pressure, you know.
MR JACOBS: We raise him, feed him, love him, and find him a perfect match. And what does he say? I won't! If you don't marry him, you can go out on the streets and starve! Hah! That would serve you right!
*exit MR JACOBS*
DAVID: Please, mother! If you don't stop this marriage, just make me a nice bed. Next to Skittery's.
*exit MRS JACOBS*
DAVID: Sarah, what can I do? This is awful!
SARAH: That Spot is pretty cute, and you must admit that you're in pretty deep trouble if you don't marry him.
DAVID: You think so?
SARAH: Yes.
DAVID: Sarah, you're amazing!
SARAH: Huh?
*DAVID rises*
DAVID: I just need to go down to Denton's and make sure he can write an article announcing the wedding.
SARAH: That was quick. I'll tell dad.
*SARAH exits*
DAVID: I know Denton can help me get to Jack! I know it!
*DAVID exits*
*END SCENE*
SHOUTOUTS: TO THELONEREED:
Aguachica: Great job on your quiz! When I took my Romeo and Juliet quiz, I had stayed up late the last night, and I wrote that it took place in the 19th century! I was so embarrassed! Almost as embarrassed as this week. I took a Catherwood quiz and said the book took place in the 15th century, when it really took place in the 1700s. I guess I'm just not good with dates.
TO SHIMMERWINGS:
Aguachica: Shimmerwings reviewed my fic. *blinkblink*
Blink!muse: Here she goes again. . .
Aguachica: Shimmerwings reviewed my fic. . . *blinkblink* *THUD*
Mush!muse: *carries off an unconscious Aguachica*
Blink!muse: She really likes your stories, Shimmerwings! She reads "The Best Part of Chicken Soup" at least once a week! She also loves "Sketches of Love" and "Winter Musings"! She loves all your fics! I'm sure she'll tell you how much she loves them as soon as she wakes up. . .