Journal Entry

July 21, 1987

Aviator

My first journal entry! I cannot believe it! Oh what day this has been, my head is still spinning and my fuel pump is still pumping a million miles per hour. It all started when my optics came back online......................

The first thing Aviator saw when his optics came back online were the faces of his fellow Constructicons. The first thing he wondered was how long had he'd been in stasis? But then it didn't really matter, he was awake and he didn't feel the pain and weakness that he'd had been feeling when he had gone into stasis lock.

Aviator looked at his fellows, but he couldn't think of one thing to say to them. Everything was beginning to flood back. Betraying my family's trust, challenging Starscream, the battle, the others coming to save him. He couldn't believe it, he had hoped of course, but he didn't dare believe they would come; not after what he had done.

Fortunately Mixmaster stepped into speak first sparing him from having to.

"Are you still there?" He whispered.

"Yes." Aviator answered quickly, while he slowly sat up. His body felt strange. It looked the same, he still had wings, and the same paint job, but he felt bigger, and stronger. He decided to run some diagnostics, and found added parts that he didn't have before. What were they for?

His thoughts were interrupted when he felt Scavenger's arms close around his neck an enthusiastic hug.

"Oh, you're alright I knew you would be, but I was still so afraid. I thought you wouldn't wake or you or your mind would be gone. But you are okay, I'm so glad."

"All right, all right. Break up the mushy stuff before a I regurgitate my energon." Bonecrusher broke in. " 'Sides I got some things to say too."

Crusher grabbed the back of Aviator's head firmly, but gently. "Listen to me kid, if ya ever challenge Screamer, or Motormaster again, let us know okay, cause Longhaul and me wanna help ya', okay?"

"Damn right!" Longhaul interjected enthusiastically

"Oh, and if you ever break in and read private entries again I'll break you neck, okay?"

Aviator was soothed by the lack of anger in Bonecrusher's voice.

"Kay." He answered as Bonecrusher released his grip on the back of the kid's head.

 Scrapper then spoke up; his raspy voice was unusually smooth and gentle to Aviator's audios. "Okay there's some I'm going to put straight and this speaks for all of us. Yes, we did originally create a new tool to get the better of Starscream, and that's all we thought he had created," Scrapper put his hand on Aviator's shoulder, "because we could never have imagined Primus would bless us with you."

Aviator's fuel pump skipped a beat. Blessed, they thought he was a blessing to them? He then felt a tremendous weight lifted from his shoulders. But one question still nagged at him, he hadn't meant to ask it right then, but it just slipped out.

"Why can't I become a part of Devastator?"

"Simply because we hadn't decided how best to do it." Hook stated firmly.

"Ya' see kid, Devastator has kinda a bad attitude." Longhaul point.

"And ya' bind with him and he doesn't like ya'...." Longhaul started.

"He'll tear your mind ta' shreds." Bonecrusher finished.

"We don't want to lose you." Scavenger gently squeezed Aviator's shoulder.

"It will be especially difficult because I left myself out of your mind. I-I-I was worried I would damage you." Mixmaster whispered.

Aviator was shocked to hear this at first, but then he realized that explained why he couldn't see through Mixmaster's optics the way he could with the others. The young Constructicon felt himself smile.

He cared about what I would become, before I was born, people don't think that way about tools. I'm not a tool.

"But we think we have found a solution." Scrapper interrupted his thoughts. "We will bind first then you will meet Devastator face to face. Then if all goes well you can try and bind with us."

"B-bind?" It hit him right then. Of course! That's what those extra parts were for; they were for his gestalt form. The young Constructicon's fuel pump was racing again, but it was because of the excitement and the utter joy I felt.

"Well while you were in stasis we took the liberty of designing your body for gestalt capabilities. We didn't think you min--" Hook was quite startled when Aviator suddenly flung his arms around the surgeon's neck.

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank You! Thank You! Thank you!" With each thank you, Aviator embraced each and every one of his fellow Constructicons.

"Though, we must warn you, we have no idea what's going to happen," Scrapper started.

"When can we bind?" the young jet interrupted. He didn't care what happened, he was so excited.

The others looked at each other, obviously not sure what to answer. Fortunately, and not surprisingly, Bonecrusher came to a decision for all of them. "Well there ain't no time like the present."

Just then Mixmaster jumped up onto the med table in front of Aviator, and pointed to the exit. "Onward and forward to Cargo bay #2! Tally hoe!"

******************************************************************************

 Aviator was so nervous and excited all at the same time. His fellows had explained to him that he would become wings for Devastator, but that it was more of an ornamental appendage for the time being, so he wouldn't be controlling much movement.

"Okay kid, this is your rite of passage as they say." Longhaul clapped a hand down on the kid's shoulder.

"I know you'll like him and I know he'll like you, I just know it." Scavenger assured Aviator.

"I know I will." The young jet answered.

Scavenger smiled, and then joined the others in the middle of the bay area.

"Constructicons!" Scrapper yelled, "Merge in to----!"

"Devastator!"

Aviator had previously seen pictures of him, and some of the Constructicons strongest memories and emotions had drifted to the young jet when they combined their personalities to make his. However, nothing prepared him for what he saw. Devastator was bigger, grander and more beautiful than Aviator believed he ever could have imagined. It was then he suddenly felt his body trembling; it wanted to transform and become part of the gestalt.

Devastator knelt down and Aviator walked up and looked into his face.

"So you are Devastator. Hello." Aviator took another step toward the giant.

The beautiful gestalt reached out his right hand for Aviator. "Do not be afraid."

"I'm not." Aviator spoke calmly, but he could not hide the awe in his voice.

Then very gently the destroyer of cities wrapped his fingers around his newest component, and lifted the youth up to his face.  Aviator's mind was racing a he gazed at what he hoped he would become a part of. He was reassured in this hope by the fact that Devastator had not proceeded to crush, which the giant could have easily done if he didn't like him.

"No, I'm not afraid. How could I be? How could I be afraid of myself? We are alike you and I, Devastator. One mind made from six."

Devastator nodded.

"Maybe I can stabilize things in there for you. What do you say? Can I be part of the mix?"

"Yes." The destroyer answered and set Aviator back down on to the ground, then got down on both knees and bowed exposing his back. Scrapper and Hook had briefed Aviator on the mechanics of how this worked, and Mixmaster gave him a good piece of advice. Just let instinct take over, if he thought too hard he couldn't do it.

Aviator leaped up into the air, shut off his optics and let his body take over.

At first he didn't feel anything. Even with his optic visor turned back on, he could see nothing. His diagnostic systems told him he had made contact, but nothing was happening.

Then...

Before the young jet could even react, he was bombarded with a wave of emotions that were each followed by a corresponding picture.

Memories.

But they were not his own.

Happiness

Anger.

Sorrow.

Joy.

Loneliness.

Ambition.

Regret.

Comfort.

Fear.

Pride.

Humiliation.

Love.

Hate.

Madness.

Everything was being jammed into his memory banks at a billion miles per hour. He did not even have the time to distinguish one memory from another.

His brain was screaming to stop this. He was being overloaded. It was too much.

Then as suddenly as it started, it stopped.

Aviator hit the metal floor hard. He was looking up at the ceiling of cargo bay #2.

Broken.

Aviator, slowly got to his feet, but everything was spinning. Memories flashing before his visor, emotions rattling his brain. He backed into an adjacent wall, stood there for a few seconds, and then slowly slid down into a sitting position. He bent over putting his head between his knees, looking at the ground, trying to stop the spinning. He couldn't stop the optic lubricant from spilling down his cheeks.

"Aviator?"

The gentle voice stopped the spinning and silenced the clamor.

Scavenger.

Aviator felt a hand gently wipe away the tears on his right cheek.

"May I see your optics?"

Scavenger gently tilted up the young Constructicon's head.

"There you're all right, aren't you?"

"I'm sorry, I tried, but it was too much. I'm sorry."

"It's all right. I just glad to see there is still life in your optics, we were so worried it would hurt you. But you're all right. Don't worry, if you want we can try again."

Aviator nodded. He did feel better knowing Scavenger was not angry with him for not being able to hold the bond. "Yes, yes, let's try again."

"All right, as soon as the others stop quarreling. Why must they argue about who's right and who's wrong at this moment. It doesn't matter." Scavenger got up and walked over to where the others were indeed carrying on a verbal war. Bonecrusher and Longhaul for once were staying out of a fight, and it was Mixmaster and Hook going at it, with poor Scrapper trying to break them up.

It was then the most unlikely of events occurred. Scavenger walked up to the chemist and the surgeon and proceeded to slap each of them across the face.

"Stop it! Both of you! I can't believe you arguing about this! Aviator's mind is fine. A little shaken, but that's all. He wants to try again, so your argument is meaningless!" Then Scavenger seemed to realize he was being too harsh than he would have liked, and his visor and voice softened. "He can't properly bind if we don't reach out and help him, and we can't do that if there is friction between us you see?"

By this time Aviator had slowly walked up to join the group.

"Scavenger is absolutely right." Scrapper stepped forward. "Aviator, if you are up to it, we will try again."

Aviator nodded.

"I have a thought. Maybe this time Aviator should bind at the same time as us. This way we won't all automatically form together and leave him out."

Everyone turned to Bonecrusher in surprise.

"Hey I have my moments." The Demolitionist shrugged.

"Sweet Primus, he's right." Mixmaster smiled. "Let's do it."

Just like before there was that feeling of nothingness.

I was alone.

No! No! I don't want to be alone....

He's stopped the binding process.

Who?

He's trying to keep going, he is.

Hello?

We're so used to doing like this, we don't know how to bring on another...

Where are you?

We have to help him.

Please help me.

How can we?

Help me find you.

We can't just leave him there, we can't!

I can hear you.

What do we do? What do we do?!

Can you hear me?

Aviator reached his hand out straight in front of him, hoping to grab on to something to save him, to comfort him, so he wouldn't be alone. Suddenly he felt something touch his fingertips. Something warm and familiar.

"Don't be afraid just let go."

"Scavenger, I'm trying. I want to, I don't know why I can't."

"You're afraid. It's all right I understand. It's very frightening at first, particularly since you were basically alone."

"Mixmaster, I'm sorry I'm so weak."

"Heck, you shoulda' seen us after our first merge."

"Thank you Bonecrusher."

"Don't worry about it. Ya' ain't weak for worrying about gettin' mind wiped. I know I was a couple times."

"That does mean a lot coming from you, Longhaul."

"Well you are having to absorb the memories from both before and after we came together as a

team, that's millions of years worth, within the proximity of 45 seconds last time."

"Yes it is Scrapper, I hope to have some time to sort it all through later."

"You will, I guarantee it, survived the part we were most worried about. It was partly our fault too, we should have reached out to you more. So you wouldn't be alone."

"So what do we do now Hook?"

"You and I, shall try again?"

"Yes, Devastator, let us try."

******************************************************

"Well Devastator, it seems you are adjusting well to your seventh." Megatron walked into the cargo bay.

Devastator turned from looking at his new wings to the leader of the Decepticons. The giant felt his anger flare when he the caught sight of the Air Commander, Starscream.

"Yes." Devastator kneeled down.

"Hmph. I think his fake wings are just an mockery to everything that flies." Starscream spat.

Suddenly, Devastator's giant fist came down, buckling the floor where Starscream stood. Fortunately for the seeker, his reflexes were much faster than the giant's, but he was surprised at how narrow his escape was.

"Processing speed has increased 50%" Soundwave stated nonchantaly.

" Excellent." Megatron observed. "So Aviator has been a good investment, after all."

"Perhaps Devastator should be tested against another gestalt. To see if he truly has improved." Starscream smirked. "I'm sure Menasour would be up for a fight."

"That is unadvisable." Soundwave spoke up. "Battle would leave gestalts low on energy. "

"Oh, you are such a party pooper Soundwave." Starscream Huffed.

"Soundwave is right on this one, I don't want the gestalts injuring themselves, unless it's part of injuring the Autobots." Megatron affirmed. "Don't worry Devastator you'll get a chance to stretch your legs...or I should really say wings, in a battle soon enough."

Devastator nodded and then collapsed into his component parts.

Aviator lay unmoving on his back, his worried gestalt mates gathered around. Hook knelt down to see what was wrong.

"WHHHHOOOOOOAAAA! That was so incredibly cool!" Aviator shot up into a sitting position, startling his comrades. There was big smile on his face.

"Aviator?" Mixmaster walked over to the very happy seeker, who was just getting to his feet.

"It was so neat, we looked up and down and all around. We went over there, and then we went over here, and we slammed the ground with a fist! We did this and this and this and this and this! Thank you drive through."

Thunk!

Aviator fell to the floor again, this time on his face.

Hook gently turned the young Constructicon on to his back. " It looks to me like system crash."

"Will he be all right?" Scavenger worried.

"Oh yes. Simple information overload. His systems will reboot in a matter hours and he will be fine. Well he might be little confused when he wakes up, what with all of the new memories he has gained."

********************************************************

He had spent about an hour after waking up, going through all of the memories he had picked up from merging with the others. It was a real mess. Though he did find out probably it was better for Mixmaster to not give him part of his mind when he was created. It was better for that particular time, for it allowed Aviator to see the chemist supposed problem from "uncorrupted optics" as Mixmaster had put it.

Now every memory he had from the Constructicons was screaming, "Don't do what you are about to do you little twit!" But he was going to do it anyway.

Aviator knocked on the door.

'Maybe', Aviator thought. 'I could find out what's wrong with him and help him. I mean if the Constructicons could forgive me, I could forgive him just this once.'

"Who is it!?" Starscream hissed angrily from inside his room. He was still fuming about Devastator almost crushing him.

"It is Aviator commander." the young jet figured addressing him formally might cool his temper.

"What the hell do you want!?"

He was wrong.

"To thank you, Commander."

There was a pause, and then Aviator heard footsteps. The door opened to reveal the Air Commander.

"All right you have my curiosity." His voice was smoother, but still had a hateful undertone to it.

"I want to thank you because, after the previous battle with you, I know shall not fear the enemy, for I am sure they can do no worse to me than you. Best to learn things early on, including pain, right?" I said this with all sincerity.

"Is that all?" A smirk crossed Starscream's face. Aviator hated that smirk.

"I also wanted to find out what exactly happened to you, I mean how did you come to know the abandonment I felt during the fight? Does it have to do with Skyfire?"

Starscream's smirk faded and he proceeded to backhand the young Constructicon across the face. Fortunately it was not nearly as strong as the ones Motormaster had delt him when passing the Stunticon leader in the hallways, so Aviator was able to keep his feet.

"How do you know about that?"

"I do my research. I asked Skywarp and Thundercracker about you, and Skywarp's mouth kind of ran off and spilled too much before Thundercracker could close it. I found out that you knew Skyfire before, and you shot him after he refused to shoot Autobot prisoners and that he betrayed the Decepticons." Aviator spoke quietly, and calmly, not even reaching up to touch the dent in his face.

"That's all? Huh, I would have thought he'd tell the whole story."

"What is the whole story?"

"Why should I tell you?"

"Cause then you'd have someone who'd know what was going on outside of this love triangle of yours."

"What?! You--"

"Yes, I know about Dreadmoon too. Actually it was a slip of the lip from Skywarp."

"Well aren't you a piece of work."

" I just piece things together. I kind of figured out myself that maybe you were different way back when,"

"What makes you think that?" Starscream tried to sound like he didn't care, but have caught the hint of curiosity in his voice.

"Because you became friends with Skyfire in the first place, and you are capable of caring for Dreadmoon." Aviator said softly. "I think if you were completely turned off to showing anything, but spite, you would not be capable of any kind of love. However you do tend to go for the hateful side in battle"

"I think you're as awful as I am." Starscream crossed his arms over his chest. But his eyes seemed to cast less of the 'I'm superior to you ' look.

"I can be, if I have to. If I feel anyone is trying to harm my Constructicons, I will find out their greatest weakness and exploit it to the fullest extent against them possible. No matter how much it hurts and ruins them."

"Heh. Remind me to never underestimate you."

"That's why you and I should not be enemies. We should be friends. Simply because if we continue to hate, then one will always get into the other's way, and nothing will get done. Though I wouldn't suggest planning conspiracy against Megatron with me because the others will find out when he merge. But as far as anything else they could care less. "

"Hmm. Interesting proposition. Though I shall have to get back to you on that. Oh, one more thing, don't think you can read my soul like a data file. I have no regret in what I have done."

Aviator thought about replying, but he decided he had pushed the Air Commanders buttons enough for one day. He began to depart when suddenly Starscream grabbed his arm and jerked him back. The next thing the young jet knew the same sword that the Air Commander used in the fight was put up to his neck.

"One more warning." Starscream practically purred into Aviator's audio receptor. "If you ever betray me I swear I will finish what I started that day of our fight and worse. Is that clear?"

"Crystal." Aviator whispered back and Starscream let him go with a shove, and then headed back into his quarters.

"Maybe I should've let Devastator crush you when I had the chance." Aviator thought to himself. "We'll see."

*************************************************************

Aviator met Soundwave along the way back to the Constructicon workshop. Aviator guessed the tape deck must have read his mind and knew about his talk and offer with Starscream, because he looked really ticked off.

"Don't give me that look I haven't betrayed you one bit. I can't fight him if I'm dead, so I just intended to get off or down towards the bottom of his assassination list. I don't know we'll see what happens. But don't worry I don't intend to betray you for him, that would be even more dangerous." I answered quickly.

"Correct. You are observant." Soundwave's voice and look softened back to the normal expressionlessness.

"Yes, and after the merge I did gain experience points from the others, about you and Starscream." Just then Buzzsaw perched on Aviator's wing.

"Plus, I like you children too much to betray you." Aviator reached up and petted Buzzsaw's head.

"Devastator has changed. Speed and balance have increased." Soundwave stated.

"Yes we've all noticed that. Scrapper and Hook think that somehow I have become the central relay for the filtered thoughts. And since I am them, things are filtered through much quicker and easier. Good for us."

"Affirmative."

"Well with all due respect Soundwave I must get back to the workshop. Nice seeing you." Aviator handed Buzzsaw over to Soundwave.

.........................WOW! What a day. I managed to settle things with Starscream (whether that will do me any good, I don't know,) kept Soundwave on my side, and I finally got to become part of Devastator! I tell you it was the hardest, scariest, most wonderful experience I have ever been through. I think for the first time since my birth I really feel that I belong. I don't care what any of the Decepticons say, for as long as I last, I'm here to stay....

THE END (At least until I write the next story that has Aviator in it.)

********************************

YAY! My first finished fanfiction! Wow this turned into a much bigger project than I anticipated. I can finally get back to "When We Were Young," and "Awakenings." Now remember this is just Aviator's origin story, so his character hasn't been fully developed yet, nor has his relationships, with the Constructicons, Starscream, Soundwave and the other Decepticons. Heck he hasn't been in full combat with the Autobots yet (except for Powerglide). However, those are stories for other days.

Please Review and tell me what you think! This includes those of you who have been reading, but haven't reviewed yet.

Plus a big, Devastator-sized, Thank you to all of those who did review all along, and kept me going. Thank you all!

Till Next Time!

-Vega Sailor